#Been struggling mentally and physically | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tealmussel · 4 months

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Belated Merry Smissmas!

Not gonna finish it 'cause it's just shading practice to shake off the rust. Plus, I didn't really give the sketch much thought, if I did render this it'd be wonky lmao.

I did plan something for Smissmass though, but I didn't like it so I left it unfinished. I'll pick it up again next year!!

#tf2 #artists on tumblr #dell conagher #tf2 engineer #team fortress 2 #my art #medic tf2 #tf2 heavy #team fortress 2 fanart #merry smissmas #smissmas #tealmussel #sorry for being no-show for most of december #Been struggling mentally and physically #and it made drawing very hard #So I might be gone for a bit #I'll try to get back by January though!!!#Wish me luck

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canisalbus · 3 months

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I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.

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#ah thank you! I'm so glad these themes come through the way I intended #this touches on something that I've been thinking a lot so sorry if this gets a bit ranty #but I have massive personal beef with the sentiment “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else/someone else can love you ”#I hate it with a passion #I know it's meant to encourage positive growth and I get that self-love and healthy self-image are something you should strive for #but it also sort of sends the message that people who struggle with these sort of issues don't deserve to be loved #not until they reach some external invisible standard of “okay I'm normal and well adjusted now”#“perhaps now I'm worthy of entering a relationship without the danger of dragging the other person down with me”#people who aren't in perfect health mentally or physically already feel like they're inconveniencing others with their mere existence #depriving them of the possibility or even the idea of loving and being loved won't make them better #it's just a stupid idiom it doesn't matter but to me it just comes across as unspeakably cruel way to think #and it rustles my jimmies #answered #anonymous

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darubyprincx · 8 months

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to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

#ray's tag #keys' art #undescribed #skeletons #ok to reblog #the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr!#so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear #(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing #that i've ever drawn)#anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav #it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it #that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it.#often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to #especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently #it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow #my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints #but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us)#i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts.#so i put it into a spotlight.#ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients #I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i #a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie #especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones #we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone #or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare #so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone #will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay #we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it #(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont #actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)

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chryblossomjjk · 7 months

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just found out that jungkook interacts with people who aren’t me

#cold cruel world out there tsk tsk #also lil life update friends !#working full time n going to school full time n also doing extracurricular activities is really not the move #i struggle w toxic productivity and it’s really really destroyed my mental and physical health #so ive busted my behind to save up enough money #to be able to support myself on a part time work schedule until i graduate woohoo !#hoping to have more time to indulge in hobbies #which includes being on here and writing and interacting #i miss you all dearly #ty for everything #like the fact that yall still send sweet things in my inbox when ive been p inactive for like this whole year is super nice and sweet and ye #im sorry i haven’t been responding #but i read them and they do make my day and i love you #and i hope to pick things up again soon #glimpse of us is going to be a banger i fear #ive sat on it for so long that ive perfected this storyline #from metaphors to small details to foreshadowing to non linear storytelling that all forms together in the ends yep #just need to write it which is the hard part 👉👈#but im excited #this the type of story to leave you in a funk for a few days lol and im so excited to share #hope you’re all doing well #and you are also prioritizing your health and well-being #you deserve time for yourself #not even deserve tbh #it’s legit a necessity like pls #you deserve it

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lemongogo · 4 months

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can i ask.how u guys practice ur creativity <3 how u practice ur imagination or like.. how u experiment with ur art, how u come to ideas and how u develop them.<3 pretty please <3

#smthing i have always struggled w.is feeling like i can only draw things that r handed 2 me.#as in.an idea or concept that already exists #chara or conflict that already exists.Scene that alr exists.#and i think it can be soo limiting bc when i have that sort of creative desire but nothing 2 reflect off of it #i feel like im unable to do anything/get anywhere bc im unable to do that mental legwork myself ykwim #like comic artists r SOOO JAW DROP INSPIRING TO MEE bc not only are u envisioning ur own sequences/situations #but u are able to imagine even the most MUNDANE interactions within those scenarios u know #like the transitory panels and the quiet moments and the every day stillness #and i feel like.its not even a poor attempt on my behalf its like.i cant Even attempt it.like my brain is soo empty #and soo static and noiseless that i am like gauhh......#i can practice lines all day long and practice colors and practice anatomy or Whatever bc its something concrete #and its in front of me and i can pry apart the physical technicalities until i understand it better #but my MIND???ABSTRACTION>? THOUGHTS .ough its so hard #and i really want to push past that but i dont know how and its so .. demoralizing to think that ill get there One Day but i feel #one million and two days away.and not making active process towards it.#i know the first step is to build ur visual library and i feel liek. idk i FEEL LIKEEE theres more 2 it that im missing #but also im depressed as hell n my job is killing my creative drive and the seasonal stuff isnt helping #so maybe i just need 2 give it time (true) but i also like.man i dont know. i want 2 do something w my hands #but everything ive been doing so far has felt soo .hard and fruitless and i definitely dont want 2 turn art into such a stressful thing #fruitless as in like.i dont get any personal satisfaction w it.idgaf abt monetization or algorithms or any of tht #but smtimes thats just what happens and i have 2 weather through and know ill be more equipped 4 this some other time #SAWRYYY IM ALWAYS GOING ON AND ONNN im nromal im normal<3 i just rly like art and it sucks balls whn it feels out of reach #sigh cry fart scroll.(:salute:)

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ofduskanddreams · 27 days

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After 2 whole months having to go without it, I finally was able to get my adhd meds again y’all!!

(just in time for me to see FOB this weekend)

#I finally catch a break in this shit show that has been my life in 2024 #my mom has recovered enough from her knee replacement that she doesn’t need me #to be her AND my youngest sister’s caretakers anymore #I can stop struggling with my mental health now that I’ll have the right meds again #the last hurdle is my physical health but my surgery is in less than a month #I know I’ve been MIA and I’ve hated it #I just haven’t had the energy and I’m excited to be bouncing back soon

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itsjusteds · 21 days

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I never thought that any piece of media could make me do something every day for a week let alone 50 days but here we are. Hello for those of you who aren't aware, I'm Eds, the Spies are Forever fan who decided that if he wanted something done he should do it himself by drawing every saf character daily until he's drawn all 55.

To celebrate day 50 (holy shit I did that), today's character is the Prince of The New Democratic Republic of Old Socialist Prussian Sloviskia, Toygle Feurgin :D Day 50/55!!!

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kinnbig · 3 months

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🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

#this is so incredibly stupid #but i've just spent such a long time worrying about my physical health and everything going on with that #(and there's still so much weirdness and uncertainty and scariness going on with my physical health)#but it just somehow never occured to me that i'm also depressed.#like. i had BAD depression as a teenager but i've been mostly mentally okay in the last 5 years. my issues have mostly been physical.#and then these last few months since all this scary health stuff started happening i've been so lethergic and unmotivated #and have been isolating myself from my friends #and struggling to find fun in any of the things that i love #i've been sad and stressed and empty but somehow. SOMEHOW. i did not consider that i was suffering from some Mental Unwellness dfkjfdjkdjkf #i just thought i was being pathetic #🫠🫠🫠#it sounds so stupid but now i realise i actually feel a bit better?#like oh. OH! depression! i hate you but i know what you are!#i'm not just a bad friend and an embarrassingly pathetic creature. there's a reason!!!!!#and there are ways to deal with it!!!#cool!!!#but also like it makes sense?! i'm incredibly sick and in a lot of pain and spending so much time getting tests and worrying #of course that's going to affect my mental health lol.#okay. anyway. yeah #tbd

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ankhisms · 8 months

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i made lunch i hope everyones proud

#have been struggling to be able to eat properly bc of physical and mental issues making it hard to cook recently

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eternxlstarx · 6 months

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Im back . <3

#my mental health and physical have not been the best to I stayed off tumblr for a while hopefully I have this figured out now #sorry to everyone who has been waiting.#Online #OOC #my fibro has gotten worse and it;s been a struggle to stay afloat.

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olliesaurus-rex · 2 years

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That disability feel haha am I right? 🙃

[Image ID: a circular flow chart going clockwise with a tired looking wojak in the middle. The chart starts at the top with text that says "I feel useless and desperately need extra money" then points down and to the right which says "I work". Another arrow points from there to the bottom text which says "I struggle severely with my mental and physical health due to working". The third arrow points up and to the left to text that says "I don't work". The last arrow points back to the top with the first set of text. End ID.]

#I've been on disability for 8 years and I stil struggle with this #disability #actually disabled #disabled life #spoonie life #mental illness #mental disability #physical disability #disability memes #okay to interact #okay to reblog #also that's my first time doing alt text pls let me know if it makes sense or not

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niishi · 7 months

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It's so wild how much I relate to sanji....... it's why we have beef. It's like if I was a cat who saw myself in the mirror for the first time and started attacking

#like how he does solo missions to help in the background?#id be the same way #i KNOW ehat needs to be done but im not a leader and i wouldnt want to get others involved #his entire sibling trauma is an overly dramatic version of my own #hes sensitive and sweet and thoughtful but life beating him up has mad him have a bravado for protection #i was just watching an analysis video of him which msde me think about this #who i want go be like: zoro #who i am: sanji #i feel like thats something sanji struggles with too lol #wanting to be like zoro but hes just sanji #let me explsin bc i dont think sanji WANTS to be like Zoro #i think sanji sees zoro and gets angry bc if he was more like zoro then his childhood wouldn't have been the way it was #zoro effortlessly embodies all of sanjis insecurities about himself #(mental strength/effortless masculinity)#and sanji effortlessly embodies all of zoros insecurities #(physical strength/unguarded emotions... maybe even his ability to be comfortable around women in the way he is)#anyways #i love characters that mirror each other #theyre both each others goals in a sense #they want to strengthen within themselves what the other has naturally

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zevrans · 6 months

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#haven't had energy to log into here because my work has been kicking my ass i'm spending half of my day off laying in bed #i fell asleep yesterday after my 2nd shift in my clothes with no blanket and woke up freezing at 7 am 🤧#i layed on the bed for 5 mins just to regain strenght to do a few things before bed yedterday and got knocked out by the exhaustion 😭#these 2 shifts were particularly hard and i think it had also to do with my coworker suggesting the dumbest thing imo #the dude wanted me to give my WHOLE november shifts to him like...WTF #he said he needed a sum of money for december and like helloo..#what do you think i am doing here?? don't i need money??#i'd understand if he'd ask for a shift or two but whole fucking month the sheer audacity..#i've struggled so much mentally to ge to this point and to be able to get this job even if it's not in my professional field #and it's physically demanding very much and so many other cons #but i've got it and i was happy i got it and to think some stranger thinks #he's more entitled to it than someone else like ??? it's just bizzare to me #he seemed such a chill person before he asked this #and i've spent last 2 work days feeling guilty for protecting my boundaries...#but everybody around me says i did the right thing so i am trying to not stress about it anymore #and i was afraid this would ruin the good work relationship i thought we established but idk anymore #i will be very cautious about him now #tbd

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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months

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Why can I only ever feel dread and never excitement, I'm just incapable of being excited until I'm physically doing whatever it is

#like months before going to austria #i had to apply and everything #and just would have horrible horrible panic attacks and was losing it #and it was just so so so much dread and absolutely no excitement #i had to just resign myself #and then whoops i get there and its a whole month of fun!!! like was really barely every upset #and then: Austrian GP #same situation like dying about it. literally physically sick the morning of #i get there....oh okay fun fun fun!!#anyways this is about how atm i have the possibility of going to COTA #and like i know i should and i kmow i shouldn't miss out on something like this #but god the dread and existential crisis is so bad #like i cant even pinpoint *why* and its always been this way #i just need to someone to assure me and tell me i should push onwards 😭#my brain: what if its disappointing. what if it doesnt live up to whatever preconceived notion you have #me: my brother in f1. this is literally my brainrot that i obsess over daily! why wouldnt it be fun?????#its just some mental hurdle i really struggle to get over and like i just can never feel excitement #like theoretically im like ofc yes this would be fun! but in reality can only dread it #but i really thinm i need to push thru it even tho i feel horribke abt it #bcs its the same exact thing every single time #and just all these stupid inconsequential things always come up in my head #like the fear of missing out on content on here. can literally bring your phone 😭😭😭#anyways panic attack yayyyyyyyy #i just really should go right? AGHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭#trying to think positive is genuinely impossible. theres some other part of me that reminds me of all the potential bad things #and also this like weird guilt of 'people will think im greedy and spoiled and etc etc etc for getting to go to two'#its not like i really believe any of this but its also like so unavoidable #catie.rambling.txt

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backseatloversz · 6 days

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got told by a whole doctor the health issue i likely have thats causing my constant abnormal levels of fatigue and i still catch myself going "im probably just being dramatic"

#MF!!!! YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH B L O O D !!!!!!!#caved and dropped a class because 1. i am not interested in the material at all 2. i would much rather focus on finding a primary healthcar #provider & finally addressing the health issues ive just been muscling through for aaages while im still young instead of forcing myself to #idk struggle to focus on classwork due to said unaddressed health issues to work towards a degree idfk what im gonna do with #im not gonna drop out of college ENTIRELY but i am. going to focus.....right now.....I think. on 1. getting my physical + mental health to #better place and also 2. finding a full/part time job w way more hours than my current job. so i can make some MONEY while i figure out wtf #i wanna do with the rest of my life #this is reasonable THIS IS REASONABLE!!!! this is reasonable................i will not let capitalism & the expectation of what young #adulthood SHOULD look like consume me #addressing health issues & getting a job feel very. very reasonable I'll worry about the whole career thing when i am not so. fucking.#spaced all the time!!!!!!!#cowboy posts

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st-highwind · 14 days

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Ramble! That some might be able to relate to. It’s in the tags.

#I’ve been thinking a lot about Kain’s lunar trial and how CATHARTIC it has the possibility of being #as someone who struggles with guilt and shame I frequently personify such emotions and sometimes mentally imagine myself fighting them #having a physical manifestation of all your worst/most dangerous traits would be so polarizing in my mind #watching some demon masquerade around wearing your face while you know very well that it is as much a part of you as the blood in your veins #having the ability to duke it out with that manifestation could be so counter/productive #sure you might get some anger out and gaslight yourself into believing such feelings are quelled #but in reality you’ve just made it angrier #and while it recovers from a distance it boils and bubbles and churns and worsens like an infection #I have a similar manifestation planned out for thrush’s lunar trial as a parallel to kain’s but it is formatted in a way that appears as if+#they are watching their own life had they not fled Troia. it’s a manifestation of cowardice and dysphoria and shame #and granted there is no dark thrush it’s lunar sylphs casting an illusion #but still! I had some thoughts and wanted to get them out there #ffiv #st highwind #rambling…

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