#And I'm not lying when I say that I already have a vague outline for a possible story
Note
Hello, I hope you're doing better.
I just wanted to tell you that since I read the latest chapter of Who Holds The Devil you have revived in me some ideas and scenarios I had in mind about the show.
Like what if everything worked out for Yohan's plans after episode 12 (when Gaon left Yohan and Elijah) without K or Soohyun dying? What would happen then?
Yohan will definitely leave after some point to Switzerland with Elijah because he already planned it for her treatment, even if he is not a criminal in Korea or presumed dead. But how long will it take him to leave?
And what will Gaon do? Will he start dating Soohyun or keep whatever they have between them as it is? If he dates her, will they work out or realise they were better together as friends and family but nothing more? ( I personally believe that when they start dating at the beginning, everything will seem perfect. But as time goes on, they will realise that it won't work out between them as they took a very long time to get to this point, and that it was too late.)
Will Gaon stay in contact with Elijah? (Maybe.) Or Yohan? ( I doubt it.)
Will Gaon miss them? Will he ever realise that Yohan loved him or that he had some kind of feelings for Yohan?
Basically, what would've happened if all the baggage from the last episodes never occurred. After the rejection on Gaon's part in episode 12, I believe Yohan will want to stay away from Gaon but I could be wrong.
The latest chapter reminded me of all these ideas and questions I had, but now we have a lot more baggage and issues to work through which makes me even more excited to explore what will happen next.
I trust your storytelling abilities as they have not once failed me for all this time I was following this fic.
Take care of your self, and when you feel better come back with a new amazing chapter as always.
I'm doing better, thank you 💜
Wow. Yeah, that's a lot of thoughts! And very interesting ones! And I think some of it depends on exactly how Yo Han decides to finish his plans. Like, killing people on national television would still make him a criminal, so I'm guessing that's not what he does? But he still gets his revenge somehow?
But yeah, he'd definitely still go to Switzerland since that has clearly been a part of his plan for years. And I think he'd actually go as soon as possible. Maybe he'd give Elijah time to say goodbye to Ga On, but that depends on what terms he and Ga On are, I'd say. If we assume that none of the baggage happened (including Soo Hyun dying, Ga On attempting to murder Yo Han, etc.) I think that Yo Han would keep his distance from Ga On, yes. Out of sheer pride and self-preservation, if nothing else. And Ga On has Soo Hyun so he wouldn't seek Yo Han out, since he knows that Soo Hyun doesn't like Yo Han and he wouldn't want to upset her.
So, sadly enough, I think Yo Han and Ga On would drift apart. Maybe they'd still cooperate somehow to take down the baddies, but, as horrible as it may sound, Soo Hyun's death actually brought them closer together. Even Ga On trying to kill Yo Han did in some ways since, from that point on, they're forever tied together what with Yo Han carrying the scar Ga On gave him. And without that? With Soo Hyun there to plead with Ga On not to do something dangerous? Ga On wouldn't chase after Yo Han. And Yo Han wouldn't chase after Ga On since he's already been rejected and is too prideful.
So I think that Yo Han would leave for Switzerland with Elijah and Ga On would stay in touch with her, yes, but not Yo Han. Maybe he'd try a couple of times, but Yo Han wouldn't respond. And, eventually, Ga On will stop trying because who is Yo Han to him anyway? Just his weird boss who he lived with for a while — and kind of wanted to take care of because he seemed so lonely — who was also a terrible influence on him. So, clearly, it might be for the better that they don't talk anymore.
(You keep telling yourself that, Ga On)
As for Ga On and Soo Hyun, I think they would start dating, yes, and I think they'd be pretty happy there at the beginning. If in a pretty boring and uneventful way. Like, there's not really much passion between them, is there? But they'd be content. It'd be safe and sweet.
I'm not sure if they'd notice that there's something wrong, though. I think that both of them have been waiting for this for so long that they'd be determined to make it work, even if that means ignoring the warning signs. I honestly think they'd both pretend everything was fine long after the point where it's not. And that both of them would silence the niggling doubts by saying that this is just how all relationships are — there will be dips. Nothing is perfect all the time. And it's not like they're arguing or anything.
It's just a little dull, that's all.
In short, I think they'd be stuck. Not in a way that makes them genuinely unhappy, but they certainly wouldn't be honest with themselves or each other, either. Which isn't the worst way to live, but it's also not the best one.
And I think that Ga On would miss Elijah and Yo Han, yes, though he wouldn't be honest about why he does. He'd just say it's because he cares about them and it's sad that he can't talk to them as often — or at all, in Yo Han's case. And, in a similar vein, I don't think Ga On would try to explore his feelings for Yo Han, or Yo Han's feelings for him. Because Ga On would be able to tell that danger lies in that direction and he'd rather remain in denial.
But he would think about Yo Han a lot. And probably do a doubletake every time they mention Yo Han or show his picture in the media. And he'd ask Elijah about how Yo Han is doing. He'd find himself cooking Yo Han's favourite food, even if he's not there to eat it. He'd miss the house. He'd miss the quiet nights reading.
He'd still wear the watch.
And all that longing would only make Ga On double down and be even more determined to make things work with Soo Hyun. Because the alternative is just too scary. He doesn't want there to be another explanation as to why he misses Yo Han. He wants his safe and happy life with Soo Hyun.
Everything else is shoved aside, pushed down, and ignored.
And, eventually, I think Soo Hyun would notice that something is wrong. But she doesn't know what and, even if she kind of hates herself for it, she's too afraid of the answer to ask. Because she doesn't want to lose Ga On and, deep down, she can tell that he is slipping away from her, slowly but surely. Just from the fact that his smiles are a little too hollow sometimes, and he's often staring off into space, lost in thought. So she tries her best to help him, as always, but, for some reason, it doesn't seem to work as well as it usually would.
But of course it'd eventually come crumbling down. And — since I'm a dramatic bitch — I suggest it'll do so when Yo Han and Elijah eventually drop by for a visit (mostly Elijah's doing, of course, with Yo Han reluctantly agreeing). More specifically the moment when Ga On comes face to face with Yo Han again for the first time in months — maybe even a year? — and everything he's been trying to suppress rushes to the surface and hits him like a freight train.
Because he's been living comfortably with Soo Hyun, sure, and he loves her dearly, but there's not much of a spark. But the one he had with Yo Han? That's been just a softly glowing ember since they parted ways?
Turns out that seeing Yo Han again — and being faced with all that intensity and enticing hint of danger once more — is all it takes to ignite it again. To turn it into a wildfire.
All of a sudden, Ga On is reminded of what real attraction feels like.
And the fact that it's not aimed at his girlfriend is definitely going to be a bit of a problem.
... aaaaaand maybe I should stop now. Because I'm not sure if you actually wanted me to answer what I think x'D
Anyway! Yes, very interesting things to ponder! And I think there are several ways to go, depending on what angle one wants to take and what happened during those last episodes. Like, if Yo Han and Ga On reconciled after their breakup, I think some parts would obviously play out differently. But, if they didn't? I'd go with something like what I said above.
But, again, that depends entirely on what you want to accomplish. Trust me when I say that there are always ways to tweak what happens to your liking but still make it feel in character and realistic. I'm somewhat of an expert on that, I've been told xD
Thank you so much for sharing, anyway! It was a very fun thought experiment! And I do hope to be able to get back to writing sometime soon. I'm actually feeling better than I have in a long time, but I think I'm going to make a separate post about that. We'll see.
I hope you have a great day! Take care 💜
#Amethystina Replies#Anonymous#The Devil Judge#For real though#I don't need much to get going#I got this ask 23 hours ago according to Tumblr#And I'm not lying when I say that I already have a vague outline for a possible story#That starts around the point where Yo Han and Elijah return to Korea#Mainly focused on how Ga On will have to navigate the extremely gay feelings he suddenly has for Yo Han#While also coming to terms with the ones he DOESN'T have for Soo Hyun#My brain works fast and doesn't stop for anyone#Not even me#My favourite scene is one after Ga On has put on his big-boy pants and actually broken up with Soo Hyun#And has no idea how to say that to Yo Han in a natural way#(because he's secretly hoping that Yo Han will be interested in him now but he can't just SAY that)#And eventually just ends up blurting it out without any context whatsoever#And Yo Han just looks at him#And with an INCREDIBLY deadpan voice goes: 'My condolences?'#Because Yo Han is NOT going to be easy to approach#(until he is because it's Ga On and he's a big softie for Ga On)
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Kenneski [DEVLOG 5/5/2024]
Hey guys!
This isn't an update to Kenneski, but I just wanted to bring you guys a devlog so you know how things are going and what to expect. ☺️
I'm about half-way through chapter 2, which is exciting. I'm not entirely sure where the chapter is going to end up, because I only have a basic outline of how I want the entire story to go. [Yes, I know, I'm horribly disorganized 😅] So for now, I'm just kind of going with the flow, and waiting for that pivotal, important part to pop up and stuff. The good part about that, though, is that I'm not afraid to go off on different paths and stuff for you to take. I think that'll definitely be fun to play through the story multiple times to see all that you can find out in each one.
Anyway! Down to more technical stuff- I rewrote the beginning of chapter 1, and added a bunch of new coding and whatnot. So, when the time comes to play chapter 2, you will need to re-play the entire thing. But, you will definitely want to, because I've improved a lot of different parts in the first chapter!
Relationship and character-wise, you get to learn A LOT more about each RO, because you get to spend some quality time with each of them. I'm already so excited to get to the romantic parts, but I have to keep restraining myself and let the relationships develop naturally. This can't be a PWP 😂 [I mean, if you guys are interested in some PWP side-stories, I can definitely oblige you... 👀] You also get to learn a little more about MC, one thing being kind of a major spoiler so I can't say anything about it for now. You'll just have to wait to find out about it when I upload the demo!
SO! Speaking of uploading the demo: I'm hoping to have chapter 2 finished by the beginning of June... But it may reach towards the middle of June. It all depends on how much writing I can get done THIS month. 🥲
Anyway, that's all I have for now! I'll hopefully get you the update next month. See you guys then!
CURRENT WORD COUNT: 30,635 45,440 [+14,805]
Also, as promised, there's a little sneak peak under the cut!
With a quick glance back at the door, I make sure no one is watching before I quickly pick up the little dagger and hold it in my good hand, feeling the weight and cold metal against my palm. Then, I realize that I have no idea how I’m going to keep this weapon hidden away in my sleeve without it falling out��� That is, until I see a few pieces of thin rope lying on the floor.
Deftly, I pick the rope up and place the cold dagger against my left arm, careful of the stitches. Then, after some finessing, I’m able to wrap the rope around my arm a few times, before tying the ends into a knot with the help of my free hand and teeth. After I pull my sleeve down, I can feel a sigh of relief escape my lungs when I realize that the sleeves are //just// loose enough that the dagger is unnoticeable.
Feeling rather proud of myself, and a little reassured that I now have a weapon, I continue my search of the storage closet.
Farther into the storage closet, I can barely see anything except for vague silhouettes on the wall. There seems to be some sort of handle, but I’m unsure what it’s connected to. Is it another door? Why would there be a separate entrance to this storage closet? Where does it go?
I stumble my way into the dark, my good arm out to guide me, before I suddenly stop dead in my tracks. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as a cold breeze drifts through the storage closet, bringing along //something else//… A feeling. A feeling that I’m being watched.
Looking around is pointless, as I can’t see much of anything. But that means I’m unsure if there’s actually someone in this closet with me, or if I’m just being paranoid. And if I can’t see my surroundings, how do I know if it’s safe to retreat?
Something catches my attention- a small movement in the back corner of the storage room. I squint my eyes, trying to see into the inky blackness… only to realize that I’m staring at a //figure//. Whoever this figure is, it’s hard to see them clearly. They must be wearing dark clothes since they blend into the darkness so well…
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Find The Words Tag
i got tagged by @saltysupercomputer, @elizaellwrites, @talesofsorrowandruin, @autumnalwalker, & @dogmomwrites
& I was challenged to find the words: place, shower, curl, memory, photo, Bless, Soul, Jam, Key, Wind, silver, stunt, hoops, hurry, blast, instill, physical, rational, character, muse, something, anything, nothing, and everything
(putting under a read more because 23 words is a lot)
i am tagging: @cljordan-imperium @my-cursed-prince @junypr-camus & whoever else wants to with some words I didn't find: bless, jam, stunt, hoops & instill
place (Countdown To Magic)
Fagonwi is the only other person working currently, besides me. She decided we didn’t need all those people, we could save on their wages. She’s terrible at managing this place. And what are the savings even for? It’s my dad’s money.
shower (Jacen & Tristan)
I wake up with Tristan going through some exercises. I use the refresher, take a shower.
Then I join Tristan in his exercise. I can't keep up.
curl (fff168)
Warren curls around me, and we sit there and watch the ever-changing colors.
memory (forgetful)
When writing this, I had to decide to trust my memory. I put details in here I felt were false because of that. However, I didn't add any details I know to be fabrications, leading to this having only sparse details. I already feel I'm lying for ninety percent of the book, I can't add any details or dialogue I have no memory of.
photo (Archives of Flying & Falling Through Space)
They all ask me about my family, if I have a photo. I don’t have one of my whole family, none even with Leofric. I put up a photo of my mom. I had to find a photo of her for the funeral, and it turns out the only thing I could find was five years old and from her work.
Bless
not found. fun fact: Forgetfull might sort of be inspired by a Minecraft world I built with my brother?
Soul (prompt-based)
I always somewhat worried about the day I would switch bodies. My dad– I was eight when he switched. They didn’t meet up in time and it wasn’t until the next day that my dad got home. In a different body. Did that take some getting used to. Dad and his soul mate argued and parted ways. So that quickly broke the illusion that everything works out with your soulmate.
Jam
not found. fun fact: Rin (main character of forgetful, deciding that now) is a best-selling author
Key (Jacen & Tristan)
I start up my computer and scroll through job posts. All for someone with office skills, or science knowledge. Things Sabine has. I then open up my document and type out a few words of the rebel story. I check back on the job posts. Find a job in a factory, probably repetitive labor, send in the resume. My doorbell rings. I should get Jacen a key.
Wind (Countdown To Magic)
The boy in his coat, scarf flapping in the wind runs up to me.
silver (Dragonless)
I make it to the logic section, which has a library with books on all sorts of topics, most of them boring. I found room 18, the door is open. I walked in and see a girl with silver hair.
stunt
not found. fun fact: Rin has not maintained consistent contact with anyone for over a decade (need to figure out at least a vague outline). The closest she has to a consistent contact is her editor, who she sends her manuscripts to.
She hasn't seen any return messages from the editor, though
hoops
not found. fun fact: Rin went to boarding school
hurry (ChemistMan)
“Well, the fire was started in the chemistry lab, and you were the last one there, according to Professor Niatta,” Professor Lahise says.
“I left in a hurry because I was late for lunch. Maybe I left the door unlocked,” I say
blast (The Search For Ezra)
There’s a loud laser blast. We must be under attack. I rush out, and see Sabine already at the guns shooting at a transport.
instill
not found. fun fact: The first boarding school Rin went to was failing, and closed down while she was attending
physical (Anti-Extinction)
I flew that ship back and forth from a small town to the world-ship to a house in the middle of a forest to the world-ship, cramming in as many people as physically fit.
rational
not found. fun fact: Rin's family lives on a boat!
character (Jacen & Tristan)
“Thanks.” he says. “I modeled them after the Ghost crew. No-one is modeled after a specific person. They’re all mash ups. I would never be able to write a character that’s my sister.”
muse
not found. fun fact: in the world of forgetful, wireless communications aren't really a thing. Her family, living on a boat, had no way to recieve communications from her boarding school.
something (Countdown to Magic)
Once we’re out of the room and turn a corner, Caspian Acker says, “If the reason you can’t do magic has something to do with your family, you can always talk to me about it. I’ll be able to figure something out.”
anything (Countdown to Magic)
“Did mom come home?” I ask.
“No, not yet,” he says. “Say, do you know anything about our taxes this year? They were due last week.”
nothing (Countdown to Magic)
I extend out my arm, try to think about coaxing the spell back to life. I hope nothing happens.
But water starts trickling out of the wall, and I get dizzy.
everything (Mars Culture)
“That’s good. Be kind to them, remember they just moved from everything they know,” she says.
“I had to move too. And you’re giving me all these demands,” I say.
“Moving planet is very different than moving from one colony to another. Everything is different here, food, gravity, the culture,” Ertan says.
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🛒💋❌️🦅🤗🤩🎉⏳️
🛒 - what are some common things you incorporate in your fics? themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.
ok i've already talked about this one a bit but i'm trying to think if there's anything i haven't already said....i guess one thing that i find myself including in all my fics so far is like, the idea of love as something destructive? like a character either loving someone so much that they know they're going to have to sacrifice or destroy other things in their life, or a character loving someone so much that they don't know how to hold onto them without gripping so tight they leave bruises. i simply cannot get enough of love as horror and horror as love ♥️
💋 - first kiss fics. love em or hate em?
ehhhh neutral. first kisses aren't something interesting to me in and of themselves just because....idk i don't think they're that important personally like i take kissing somewhat casually ig.
❌ - what's a trope you will never write?
soulmates au. i will never write anything about soulmates i just personally do not find the trope even the slightest bit compelling i'm sorry 💀
🦅 - do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?
i make like....very vague and messy outlines and then ramble to my sister in voice notes lol. so i'm not just raw-dogging every ch i write but i also am generally going off like. 2 or 3 bullet points.
🤗 - what advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?
i've already talked about this here! but something i will say again amidst all these discussions i've been seeing and having about social media and capitalism and audiences:
try to frame your thinking around writing for connection, not consumption. it's easy to get caught up in the idea that for anything to be worthwhile these days it has to be seen and consumed by thousands of nameless people, but fanfiction really does not fit into that mold and you likely will not find the fulfillment you're seeking if you go into writing it with the mindset that your work won't matter unless tons of people see it. i promise that it is so, so much more meaningful to use fanfiction as a way to connect with other individuals and cultivate a little space on the internet where u just get to be creative together and enjoy something that is uniquely situated outside a profit economy 💕
🤩 - who is your favorite character to write?
talked about marlene and sirius already but honestly another character i love writing is dumbledore 🙈 like i love making him into this sort of manipulative morally grey character it's just sooooo fun
🎉 - what leads you to consider a fic a success?
writing it lol 💀 no but actually like a fic is a success for me personally if it's something i enjoy reading back later, because i'm not lying when i say i write stories for myself that i want to read. and then if like even one person interacts to talk to me about my writing and i get to connect with someone over something i've written that's like....dream come true!!! hooray!!
i think it's really easy to get caught up in a numbers game but anytime i find myself worrying about how many other people are reading my writing i force myself to sit with those feelings and think about where they're coming from, and then to reframe my thinking. and sometimes it's hard, but it's really not healthy for me to be writing fanfiction for any single person other than myself, so! that's that.
⌛️ - how long does it take you to write a fic or a chapter?
honestly it varies a lot but like. with the hand that feeds i'm now going on month 6 of writing, and atyd sirius's pov took me 6 months, so right now that seems to be the baseline? but they are vastly different lengths so 💀 and also it took me an entire year to finish my captive prince rewrite, which is around the same length in its entirety as thtf, so! and alice look at me only took like 2 days, but that's a short one.
with thtf i've been aiming for around 4k words per ch and i feel like....on average it takes me maybe 4 hours to write a ch? like 1 hour per 1k words? but of course those 4 hours are usually broken up and interspersed with distractions and writers block and general life, so....yeah it's honestly just hard to give a good estimate lol
emojis from this
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I posted 182 times in 2022
That's 182 more posts than 2021!
19 posts created (10%)
163 posts reblogged (90%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@demilypyro
@the-haiku-bot
@lithominium
@staffs-secret-blog
@teaboot
I tagged 147 of my posts in 2022
Only 19% of my posts had no tags
#genuine question - 7 posts
#lgbtqia - 5 posts
#autism - 4 posts
#goncharov - 4 posts
#tumblr - 3 posts
#twitter - 3 posts
#science - 3 posts
#adhd - 3 posts
#tumblr tags - 2 posts
#neurodiversity - 2 posts
Longest Tag: 137 characters
#to say it is always good is lying to yourself yet you cannot allow yourself to wallow in pessimism or else things will not get any better
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Why I think there is so much fanfic for a made up movie
Now I don't write fanfic, but I feel like part of the reason writing fanfic for Goncharov (which is really just regular fiction because the movie doesn't actually exist) was so popular (other than it's funny), was because Goncharov in some way does exist, not as a movie but as a writing prompt.
Like, think about it, you have the vague outline of a plot (a Russian gangster travels to Italy and deals with the mafia), you have readymade characters (Goncharov, Katia, Ice Pick Joe), you have relationships between those characters (the homoerotic tension between Goncharov and Andrey, Katia and Sophia's love affair, I.P.J. being an unstable serial killer), and so on. Most of the story's elements are laid out before you.
When I write I often find the hardest part is coming up with an idea to write about, but here the outline of a story is all there already, all you have to do is fill in the plot in between.
It reminds me of something OSP's Red said about Robin Hood and why people keep writing about him; "A bunch of fully developed characters with interesting dynamics and no ironclad plot points to work around? That's a writer's dream!", and that's exactly the same idea with Goncharov, you have a full box of pieces, now all you have to do is put them together in whatever way you want!
5 notes - Posted November 29, 2022
#4
Tumblr users when Twitter actually goes under
7 notes - Posted November 19, 2022
#3
What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall in a Twitter meeting right now.
"Employees now cannot work outside of the office, and they also cannot work inside the office. Effective immediately, all Twitter employees shall perform work in the doorframe."
11 notes - Posted November 18, 2022
#2
Why Chris Pratt as Mario might be secretly genius, actually.
WAIT, WAIT HOLD ON, let me explain before you cast your judgement. For the record, I'm not a Chris Pratt/Marvel fanboy or anything and I have no clue if the movie is gonna be any good.
Okay, so, Crisp Rat as Mario J. Mario is a weird casting choice, and from the trailer which came out in *checks notes* October, we can see that Mario is lacking his iconic Italian accent, seemingly replaced with a subtle New York accent. This, I'd imagine, would've copped a lot more flak if not for the fact that everyone was talking about how good Jack Black was as Bowser.
I mean, it makes sense why people were hesitant about Mario's casting, seeing as most of the time, Mr. Pratt's roles are in the "Boring Generic Action Hero" category, and the only other voice acting role he's played (that I know of), is Emmet from The Lego Movie, a construction worker whose main trait is that he's a boring generic nobody who doesn't stand out at all (remember this, it'll be important later). But what if I told you that this penchant for genericism is what makes this whole thing brilliant?
See, the thing with characters in the Super Mario games is that a lot of them aren't really "characters", per se, but tropes. Archetypes that can be fitted into whatever story you want to tell with them. For example, you have the damsel in distress, Princess Peach, who is kidnaped by Bowser, the evil dragon, before being rescued by the gallant knight, Mario. Except that Mario isn't a knight in shining armor, he's a mustached, middle-aged man in overalls. That's because Mario isn't just any old hero, he's an Everyman. The humble, hard-working, blue-collar man that people can see themselves in. He's not the wielder of the Master Sword, or a blue hedgehog that can run faster than sound, or a robot from the future with a gun for a hand, Mario is just a regular guy with a plumbing business. The whole point of this trope is that Anyone can be Mario. The baker from down the road can defeat armies of goombas and koopas, your math teacher can brave eight worlds of levels to get to bowser's castle, your little sister can save the princess, and so can the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker, or even an everyday construction worker.
You see where I'm going with this now? What I'm saying is that Chris Pratt might just be perfect for Mario not in spite of his previous generic roles, but because of them, that because Mario serves as a vessel for the player to project on and relate to, this "generic guy-ness" is precisely who Mario as an archetype is.
Of course, this thesis fails to take into consideration that Mario has arguably moved beyond his initial generic roots (and by generic here, I mean relating to a large group or universally applicable, I'd be burned at the stake for saying Mario is a boring character), and has since become a beloved character archetype in his own right, as well as the simple fact that the disconnect between what we've seen so far of Prattio and the performances of Charles Martinet will take a fair bit of getting used to, but that's not what this essay is about. I am not positing that Chris Pratt is the new definitive voice of Mario, nor am I guaranteeing that Pratt's performance in the movie will 100% be good. What I am saying, however, is that it can work, and why it is completely possible that it will. Whether it actually will work still remains to be seen, but there is still a chance. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
13 notes - Posted November 14, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
By making this post have seventeen syllables, I will trick Haiku Bot into showing everyone this post. Observe:
Look what I can do I'm circumventing systems and you can't stop me
982 notes - Posted November 19, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
So, I guess that was my first couple months on Tumblr, obligatory apology to Haiku Bot again (it was for science). Also, I seemingly have a lot of questions judging by my most used tags (no surprises there, lol). Anyway, keep the memes coming and I'll reciprocate, happy holidays, see y'all next year! :D
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rocci i rise from the ashes to ask what you're thinking abt for andres whump -- a.
Good to see you, a.! Hope you're doing well- would be lying if I said I didn't miss your messages ;)
asdfasdfasd Gosh, this question. Might be easier to ask what I'm not thinking about lmao. Some of it is stupidly vague in my head, like, "oh, kinda want to see him get impaled." No, I have no context or reason, that's just the kind of thing I prompt myself for the heck of it.
Then there's stuff that I would like to write, but just lack the time/energy for the immediate future:
*That one amnesiac Andres + lying Gandia dark fic you already know about. It's a lot more solid in my head now- I see it as 3 (4 tops) chapters, 1 pov from Andres about his "perfect" life with "Martin," 1 pov from Gandia and his increasingly insane obsession with Andres (so a prequel to the last chapter), 1 pov from Martin which is basically just him stealing Andres back + of course, Andres remembering who he actually is and reacting accordingly. I'll say that Andres stays perpetually injured the entire story because every time he came close to recovering, Gandia found some way to hurt him again so he'd always be helpless & dependent. But Andres doesn't realize because he's so sure "Martin" would never hurt him, so he just thinks "oh wow, Martin is so considerate, so caring, I'm so lucky to have him keeping me alive."
*The opposite of the above scenario where some guy tortures Andres half to death because he’s obsessed with Martin and wants to get rid of the competition.
*This prompt by FishDish! It's not often someone gives you a fully fleshed outline to play with, so I really want to give it a go. (All the details are within lol!)
*The sequel to Absolvisti, where Andres almost dies 3 times. He shows off his trademark skill in this universe of course, which is coughing up blood C-drama style. Ruining at least two of Martin's shirts. And for some reason, I'm even thinking about a sequel to this sequel LMAO. Vague about that one, but he gets horribly injured again, as always.
*This one is actually more of a Sergio-centric story, but the main plot (of the first chapter or story at least) is him and Andres getting caught by interpol instead of Rio in S3, so Raquel has to find Martin to mastermind the bank heist (which will probably be the focus of the second chapter or story). The police don't really know what Sergio and Andres' relationship is, but one of them accidentally fails to act like a complete stranger. Then whoever's in charge gets the bright idea of torturing Andres in front of Sergio. This goes on for months until Lisboa/Palermo get them out. Then I'm stuck because Sergio can go to the bank now, but Andres would be so fucked up there's no way anyone would want him inside the bank. so we'll see.
*Part 3 of the Sniper AU (which I'm not sure if you've read??), which is a "fill in the gap" moment between "The Lover, Dusk" and "The Beloved," namely the final scene where belermo reunite. It's basically Sergio's side of the story while he helps Andres recover from all the injuries he took in the original fic. And it's a long road. But another part of the main plot here is Sergio trying to understand Martin and deciding to "accept" him in the end.
Stuff I doubt I'll write, but never say never:
*Again with the Sniper AU. The prequel that goes into detail about exactly what happened to Andres when Gandia first abducted him. Not sure if I'll ever do this one because it's DARK, really crosses the line from whump into plain dead dove territory and if I'm going to write it, I don't want to treat it lightly. It's not fun, definitely not sexy, and very much a Hurt No Comfort kind of deal that comes with a hundred trigger warnings. The only "good" thing that happens to Andres is arguably meeting Tokyo. And after he gets out, things don't get better either, especially mentally for him. So this is something I'm not sure even needs to be written (everything that happened was already implied/outright stated in the original fic)? And really not sure how people would react to it, or how I'd feel about writing it.
*A random AU idea about Andres suddenly showing up alive on Martin's doorstep in Palermo. He's very cheery and acts exactly the same as he always did, and because Martin is 85 layers deep in self-angsting, he's not welcoming. Very pissed at everything Andres says and does, but still doesn't tell him to leave. Then he finds out Andres is acting so "insensitively" and happily because it's a coping mechanism and he is in fact, not okay at all mentally or physically. But he wanted to come see Martin anyway because this is his bizarre way of making up for how the monastery kiss ended.
Then there's just incoherent nonsensical stuff that's less whump and more me upgrading (or downgrading) Andres from a blorbo to a plinko: hmmm would he survive getting mauled by an animal, a shame nobody else is making him cough up blood in their stories, etc.
Believe it or not, a., there's actually more ideas asdfasdfads. I won't bore you with it anymore though LOL! Just know another one was a potential long-fic idea that started in historical fantasy times and Andres ended up dying a graphic, bloody death with lots and lots of stabbing. Then I'd reincarnate him in modern times for a paragraph so I could slap the "happy ending uwu" tag onto the fic.
#anonymous#ironically a. I was looking at my ao3 stats#and somebody unsubscribed from me moments after I mentioned preferring Andres whump to Martin whump asdfasdf#like fair enough but I have no idea what part of my writing indicated that I did anything BESIDES hurting Andres specifically LOL#if I hurt Martin it's usually for a plot relevant reason#if I hurt Andres it's usually the Plot itself
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Tfw you spend 49 years in a house with your friend watching the world die all around you. There's love there. And obligation.
Basically I assembled a comic out of whatever terrible supplies I have on hand. Click for better quality because dear god.
Tamlin's table is so long and empty because by ACOTAR everyone who used to sit there is dead! More thoughts under the cut!
[image ID: four images of sketchbook pages with drawings of Tamlin and Lucien and lyrics from Me and My Husband by Mitski.
1: Three images of Tamlin sitting at the base of a tree, hand and face streaked with blood. The text: I steal a few breaths from the world for a minute, and then I'll be nothing forever
2: Several cut and pasted black and white images of flowers, specifically black eyed susans, followed by a drawing of Lucien's face but one eye is covered by a flower. Next to him are drawings of a mechanical and organic eye. The text: and all of my memories, all the things I have seen. Will be gone, with my eye, with my body, with me.
3: The first picture, in red marker, is of Tamlin holding Lucien. The second picture, in blue marker, is Lucien lying on a bed while Tamlin sits next to him. The text: But me and my husband, we're doing better. It's always been just him and me together.
4: Lucien sitting in the branches of a tree, looking tired. The left side of his face is bandaged. The text: So I bet all I have on that furrowed brow
5: A colored pencil drawing of a tree. The text: At least in this lifetime, we're sticking together. Me and my husband, we're sticking together.
6: An image of a masquerade mask, followed by a drawing of Tamlin standing at the end of a table, waiting. He is wearing a mask over his eyes. The text: And I am the idiot with a painted face, in the corner, taking up space.
7: Lucien, also masked, entering from a doorway. The next image is of two black and white printouts, one of a fox and one of a wolf, glued over a drawing of an empty table. The text: but when you walk in, I am loved, I am loved.
8: Three silhouettes standing side by side, with real dried clover flowers glued where their heads should be. Each one is bleeding from a different wound.
9: drawing of Lucien and Tamlin, unmasked and looking away from each other, frowning. It's been cut out of lined notebook paper and glued to the page. They are outlined in yellow marker. The text, also cut out and glued, outlined in a variety of colors: Me and my husband, we're doing better. It's always been just him and me together. Me and my husband, we're sticking together. /End ID]
Yeah the song is me and my husband but like. Platonic I guess. Actually I really don't care? It's unimportant to my vague thoughts about them. The important stuff: for a very long time they were/are the person the other was closest to and that's not really a bad thing but before Amarantha it was like. Holding on so tight to this one person because you're afraid that if you let them go even a little bit you're throwing away the one chance of a person who will stay with you. Neither of them had very good support systems is what I'm saying lmao. And also like in the caption. Feelings of obligation.
And those 49 years brought them both even closer and also it was bad and like. Half a century of constant stress and tragedy and there was also a lot of fights and bad coping mechanisms. How do I think things would have turned out for them after Amarantha? Idk man it's not like I have ACOMAF to go on because. Well you already know my thoughts on that. (Or you don't, and idk I've probably talked about it on my mainblog. Tagged sjm.txt)
#mmm i just like relationships that are. we are happy but we are messy and we are not perfect but we dont have to be#idk if my thoughts got thru clear enough ask for clarification if you want#yinlin cant keep a consistent character design to save his life dot jpeg#tamlin#lucien vanserra
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9 and 6 for the fic ask!! :D
6. what's the hardest part of the writing process for you?
you know i get asked this a lot and i feel like my answer is just always "yes". the answer is yes. all of writing is actually hard for me in one way or another. i struggle a lot with dialogue (i'm always worried in the back of my head that i'm writing people ooc) and action sequences or just location descriptions are very hard for me because both involve spaces or characters moving through spaces and i have aphantasia, so i cannot see SHIT in my head. i said a little while ago every time i'm writing a specific location, i'm pulling up google maps street view to cruise around and that's why. for the abba au chapter seven, i actually had like eight tabs about bailey island and harpswell, maine open looking at things like directions to the nearest iHOP lol.
also i think i've mentioned it before but just opening a word doc to start writing is often really hard for me. executive dysfunction and all that. very often my brain really wants like the serotonin hit of getting a comment or a reward for posting (instant gratification monkey) so writing is very difficult if it's like, a multichapter update because those get essentially no reaction compared to, say, a oneshot i post that will get a few comments in the day or so after posting. or a more niche fic i personally love but know no one will read. i have started to learn a lot about ao3 stats within the fandom and it's really fucked with my head when i'm writing (i diagnose myself with recovering clout chaser) so writing overall can be....just really hard for me.
9. what's your writing process like?
mmm not super exciting really. right now i usually hand-write my outlines in a journal i carry around (i stg it's always in church, i outline all my fics in church....from the abba au to hell is empty to planetarium stickers it has ALL been there) just to get the juices going. then when i have time (right now that is just. always.) i sit down, type the outline into a word doc, usually adding bits and bobs as they come to me (for example, "home never home always" from true north popped into my head while outlining it) and throwing in scenes that i might already have lying around. the compass tattoo from that fic was something that's been sitting in my ideas note doc for months, and the for want of a nail scene was something i vaguely drafted at my old job last year.
after that i kinda just. write. usually i have to have "santa monica dream" or an instrumental song/playlist looping. generally i write in my room but sometimes i make myself go downstairs in my house. used to, i would go write in the coffee shop on campus or the laundromat when i was in college. i should go to a coffeeshop to write more but frankly i can't afford to buy coffee that much lol. anyways, i also usually have to have a fic titled before i get into working on it. most of my aus end up with titles before i even finish outlining—it's normally stuff pulled from songs, though one of my friends has gotten me onto a two-word title kick recently. i come up with title ideas sometimes and just put them into the notes app on my phone. fun little screenshot of that for u!
i will usually write a fic over a course of a few weeks. rarely it will take a few days (planetarium stickers was four days total) or months (my clingyduo fic took seven months), really just depends on my motivation and what's going on irl for me. every time i open the doc to keep working, i reread the entire fic up to where i left off and proofread/edit as i do. that way it's usually been through several rounds of editing before it ever makes it onto my ao3, with only a few exceptions like true north which i wrote in two days and had to deal with my typos after posting lol.
that's pretty much it tbh. thanks for the ask :D
ask game.
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Meet Me Halfway: Part One
Sir Maurice – Duke of Avonlea – had pledged his daughter, Belle, to be wed to King Raul's son, Neal, ever since she was born. The pair would wed on her eighteenth birthday. Belle French had never met Neal, but she had met his father – King Raul. He was a man with short graying hair and a stern countenance. He never smiled, and Belle was aware of the ruefulness always lurking within his soulful depths. When, Belle, had asked her father why Neal had never visited, Maurice had informed her he was a sickly child. Raul would often journey to Avonlea and converse kingly affairs with her father. He'd never spoken to her in passing, often pretending she was invisible whilst in her father's presence.
Belle inwardly dreaded the day she would have to leave Avonlea and become the wife of a man she'd never truly met. She'd filled her time with educating herself about kingdom affairs, leading up to that moment. She'd received an extensive education during her childhood, because she didn't intend to be an ignorant ruler. By the time her eighteenth birthday arrived, she assumed she would meet the prince she was destined to wed. She'd been mistaken when her father revealed that Prince Neal had died a few short years earlier of the bubonic plague. In fact, Raul's wife – Queen Milah had passed as well.
“I don't understand, Papa. What are you saying? I've been expecting to marry this prince my entire life, yet why am I just finding out he's deceased?” she queried, her mind buzzing with questions.
The duke exhaled sharply. "There will be a wedding, Belle. It just won't be to Prince Neal.”
“Then who!?” She demanded, sickness roiling in her gut.
Maurice swallowed hard, averting his gaze. "King Raul still intends to honor the marriage agreement we forged at your christening. You'll marry him instead. He's without an heir and needs a new queen to rule beside him.”
Belle's countenance fell at the mention of the callous, standoffish royal. “You can't be serious, Papa. That man has the personality of a dead fish,” she countered.
Maurice sighed, wrapping his arm around his daughter's delicate shoulders. “You don't know him like I do. I know he's twice your age, but he's an honorable man. He'll be a good husband to you, I have no doubt. Though you may find you have little in common, you'll have a comfortable life.”
Belle nodded. “I'll accept King Raul's proposal because it's the right move for both of our kingdoms. I never knew the prince, but I'd hoped to.”
Maurice smiled, pulling her close. “You make me proud, Belle. Tomorrow, Raul will arrive for the wedding celebrations, and then you'll be escorted back to Albannach.”
“Let it be as you say,” she consented, spending the rest of her evening being refitted for her wedding gown. When she was finally granted some solitude, she spent her time reading in a cozy nook in her personal library. She would dearly miss her castle, her father, her friends, including every other piece of herself she was leaving behind.
~X~
The day of the wedding left her stomach tied in knots. He'd met her at the altar, decorated in his kingly ensemble. The veil hid her rouge cheeks and lacquered lips. The first words they'd speak to each other would be their vows. She fought back the urge to tremble as she spoke the sacred vows pauper and prince had exchanged for ages. His eyes fixated themselves on her, studying, committing each detail to memory. She became enraptured by his eyes, the wind being knocked from her as he brushed his lips ever so slightly against hers. She blinked as the crowd erupted into cheers and applause. There wasn't time to contemplate what had just transpired, before she found herself being led by his arm to a carriage. Once the doors shut, she knew she'd never step foot in Avonlea again. A tear trekked down her cheek, and she couldn't stop the way her body trembled. The king gazed at her, his eyes filled with something unreadable.
“I'm sorry,” he whispered. “For ripping you away from everything,” he spoke – the sound of his lilting brogue filling the carriage, startling her.
“Pardon?” She spoke, startled by his phantom voice.
“The ripping. I'm sorry for ripping you away from your homeland, your friends, your father,” he paused. “The ripping hasn't stopped though, the seam hasn't been mended.”
“Why do you speak in riddles, your highness?” She addressed him formally, trying to wrap her mind around his enigma.
He smirked at her response. “I'm used to the ripping. My son was ripped away by the plague, my wife, my subjects, my countrymen. There's so much blood it would flood the towns. I need the ripping to stop.”
His countenance fell, revealing those same sad eyes she vaguely remembered during her girlhood. She longed to reach out to him but wasn't sure if it was appropriate, but she supposed it mattered little because it was their wedding night. Soon his hands would be anywhere they wished, marking her as his prize.
Despite her hesitation, she reached out to him, grasping his hand in her own, and testing the weight of it in her palm. He stiffened, and she assumed he wasn't used to this kind of touch, but she continued, stroking his fingers, admiring his beautiful, weathered hands. “You have beautiful hands, you know?”
He scoffed, amused. “There's nothing beautiful about me, princess. The years have worn me away, until I'm a shell of the man I used to be.”
“Your highness, I believe we're all layered. And maybe the years have been unkind.” She continued her gentle ministrations over his digits. “But my father said you were a good man, and I don't doubt him at all.”
He interlaced their fingers, startling her. Her breath hitched in her throat as he began making obsolete patterns on her skin. “These worn, despicable hands have killed men, princess. Yet, you touch me without revulsion.”
Belle dared a glance into his eyes. “I'm aware the cost of keeping a kingdom, securing your reign for centuries to come. It is built upon blood and alliances. And it's the reason we're sitting here in this carriage. I wasn't supposed to marry you, and you weren't supposed to marry me. However it's the way fate destined it to be – You and I, sitting here in this carriage, hand in hand.”
“Now who speaks in riddles, princess?” His age lines crinkled into a smile, as he drew her knuckle to his lips, kissing it reverently.
Belle's breath hitched in her throat. “Tonight, I apologize for my inexperience.”
The king gazed at her, full of wonder and awe. “And I apologize for mine, it has been many years since a woman has warmed my bed,” he admitted, sending a shiver down her spine.
He gathered her hands in his own, gazing into her cerulean depths – his eyes filled with so much sincerity, it wrenched her heart. “I would never hurt you, princess, and tonight I will treat you as a delicate flower. It will be a new journey for us both, this union. I'm sorry I'm not young or handsome.”
“I think you're handsome though.” She brushed prettily at his statement, and he half smiled. He couldn't help but think of her as his delicate flower, one he hoped wouldn't wither at his touch.
“And twice your age,” he teased, planting a sensual kiss against the underside of her wrist. She shuddered at the contact, aware their hands were still connected.
“38,” she answered coyly.
“39,” he corrected. “Today is my birthday.”
Belle blinked owlishly at his statement. “Why ever did you choose to wed on your birthday?”
The king shrugged. “To make a fonder memory. My birthday isn't exactly a joyous occasion.”
Before she could inquire further, the carriage came to a screeching halt. Screams erupted from the outside, and her eyes grew wide as she observed him brandish his sword. “Stay in the carriage, and whatever you do, don't leave. I shall return,” he commanded swinging open the door. He shut it, and she bolted it, sinking down – muffling her ears to drown out the screams coming from the outside. She wasn't sure if it had been hours or days, but the screams finally ceased and all was quiet. She stayed frozen in the carriage, wondering if he was dead. Suddenly the door swung open, revealing his cloaked form.
“Bandits, bloody bastards killed my driver and a few guards, but we got them rounded up,” he cursed, and Belle's face paled when she noticed the blood drenching his tunic.
“Are you hurt?” She inquired, her ears beginning to ring. He reached for her, bracing her fall. He pulled her onto his lap, commanding his men to make haste. He knew she'd only fainted. She was too delicate for him, and he secretly feared he would crush her with the weight of his sins. An innocent lamb caught in the lion's den.
She awoke, lying in his arms. She blinked, noticing a far away look in his eyes. The carriage was dark, and she assumed the sun had already set. She admired his beautiful, careworn face. She absentmindedly reached up to caress his jawline. He shuddered, gazing down at his new bride, unused to such a reverent touch.
“What are you doing, princess?” he mumbled, taking her hand and delicately kissing the underside of her wrist.
“I was hoping to, get a feel of what my new husband's skin felt like,” she spoke, blushing deeply from her admittance.
He gently brushed chestnut locks from her eyes. “Oh how delicate you are, wife. So innocent and fair. What have I done to deserve such a gift?”
Feeling bold, Belle raised up to capture his lips in an inexperienced kiss. The one they'd shared back at the ceremony was brief, but this time, she allowed herself to truly explore the outline of his lips – truly taste him. He kissed her back fervently, cradling her face in his hands. She'd shifted her position and was now sitting on his lap. He nipped lightly at her lower lip, and she carded her fingers through his soft mane.
He gripped her hips gently, securing her onto his lap. The kiss made her feel pleasantly warm, and she ground her hips into him, causing him to jerk forward. He broke the kiss, a predatory look in his eyes. “Be careful, little lamb, not to awaken the lion. The beast within has quite an appetite,” he warned.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27360130/chapters/66855967
Belle experimentally ground her hips into him again, causing his grip on her to tighten. She flushed deeply, her rosy cheeks eclipsed within the darkness of the carriage. His gaze grew intense, and he bruised her rosebud mouth with his lion teeth. Tongues and teeth clashed messily together, battling for dominance. The kiss was short lived for the carriage had came to a halt.
“We are here, my delicate bloom,” He purred deliciously in her ear, causing her entire body to tremble in the most pleasant of places. “We are in Albannach.”
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