#Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sometimes-you-write · 8 months

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Trapped Inside My Mind

[Plain text: "Trapped Inside My Mind". End plain text.]

Multi-chapter.

Chapter 1 : The ancient evil trapped in amber.

Chapter summary : You, Finn, and Jake are meditating with Princess Bubblegum in her castle when suddenly she has to check on something very, very important.

Of course things go wrong and now you have a world to save.

It was supposed to be a relaxing day, damnit!

Masterlist

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Fandom : Adventure Time.

CW/TW : none unless you count swearing.

Author's note : I'm so happy I wrote this and I hope you guys enjoy it.

English is not my first language so tell me if I wrote anything wrong.

The reader here is gender neutral and will use they/them pronouns.

Also there is no use of Y/N.

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"Guys, what I am supposed to be meditating about?" Asked a thirteen years old human boy as he whispered.

His name was Finn, he had white skin and blonde hair which was hidden by a white hat that resembled a bear. He was wearing black shoes with white socks, dark blue shorts, a blue shirt with short sleeves, and he was carrying a green backpack.

"Don't know." Surprisingly a yellow dog replied. "I'm thinkng of pillows stuffed with spaghetti."

His name was Jake, he was a magical talking dog who could walk in two legs. He had yellow fur, floppy ears and two cute big eyes.

Finn and Jake were also brothers.

"Pillows stuffed with what?" A third voice asked, wondering if they heard wrong.

That person was you.

You, like Finn, were a human. You were wearing brown boots with black socks, gray jeans, a white shirt with short sleeves, a duffle hooded jacket of your favorite color, and you were carrying a leather satchel.

"With spaghetti." Jake replied again.

You felt a hand on the top of your head before you could say anything else.

"Clear your minds."

"Right! Sorry, Princess." You said while she was doing the same with Finn and Jake.

Her name was Princess Bubblegum, she had pale pink skin and long pink hair, long enough it reached her ankles. She was wearing casual pink yoga pants and shirt, pink shoes, a hot pink cardigan sweater, and a golden crown with a blue gem.

Princess Bubblegum, PB for short, had invited you and the boys to meditated with her in her castle.

Apparently, meditating helped you become stronger in a spiritual way.

While Finn complaining that it was "boring", you and Jake were all for it.

You don't know how Jake feels, but you were a little stressed.

Last week, you, Finn, and Jake, were on a mission to rescue Hot Dog Princess's knights from a maze they got lost in.

The three of you found them easily and were about to get out, but one of the knights said something about a magical creature that granted wishes in the center of the maze.

You weren't interested, but the two boys were, they both seemed to have the same wish.

The ancient psychic tandem war elephant.

In the end you all entered the labyrinth to find those wishes and, to not get lost, Jake has tied his legs to something and start to stretch.

You may wonder, how was that possible? Well, that's because Jake had shapeshifting powers! He could change into anything he wanted… but it seems that even he had limits.

The deeper you went into the maze, the more he stretched and the more he stretched, the smaller he became.

You tried to stop him, but he wasn't listening.

You finally arrived at the center of the maze, where you guys found what seemed to be a mud snake.

You thought one of the knights was going to wish for Jake to be okay... but you forgot they were... slow. One of them wished for a box while the other literally exploded.

Poor Jake was so disoriented that he ended up wishing for a sandwich. That left you and Finn.

You were going to make your wish and save Jake, but it seemed like the snake was enjoying watching him die and said it was Finn's turn, so you couldn't do anything.

You knew how much he wanted to wish for the elephant, you were about to tell him that you can wish the elephant for him, so that he could save his brother, but it seemed that he had other plans.

He wished for the elephant and began to communicate with him telepathically.

And apparently because the elephant was there, he was also granted a wish and ended up wishing for everyone to be healed.

And with that Jake and the knights were okay, then the elephant took all of you home.

You still had a wish, but you didn't use it yet, you just kept it in a jar and hid it in your closet.

The snake had said that there were no do-overs.

You expected today to be a relaxing day.

You took a deep breath and tried to clear your mind, but all that effort went out the window as PB gasped in fear.

"I have to go check on something!"

"Can we go with?" Finn asked.

"Perhaps you are ready to go with." PB answered after a few seconds.

"Are you sure, princess?" You asked. "We can stay here if you want."

"Yes, i'm sure."

"Alright." You said as Finn and Jake bumped their fists.

"Guys, you'll need to put these on." PB said as she took off a pair of earrings from her ears.

After putting each earring, which were apparently also tiaras, on Finn and Jake's heads, she removed a necklace from her neck and put it on yours.

Everything around you turned a transparent blue for a second.

"Neat." You heard Jake say.

Then PB touched the gem on her crown and then a transparent blue bubble surrounded her head.

Oh, so that's what happened a second ago.

"Stay close to me." PB said before clapping her hands.

Then her butler, Peppermint, appeared and blew a very large bubble, big enough for the four of you to get inside and once inside the bubble began to float upwards, up to the tree on the top of the castle.

"At the heart of this tree is an ancient evil, held in a prison of amber…" You gave PB your full attention.

The bubble burst once you reached your destination.

"The Lich."

You gasped at what was before you.

There, trapped in amber, was the Lich.

The first thing you noticed were its horns, they resembled those of a goat, the left one was intact while the right one was broken.

Then you looked at it's face, it had horrific green lights as pupils peering out of its empty eye sockets, and pale undead skin pulled tight against its noseless skull. Its skin is frayed away from its lips revealing a wicked and perpetual grin. Its arms are bare bones with various decayed tissues, showing off its skeletal hands. It was wearing loose robe with multiple layers and a large cape that is severely torn at its end.

You had never seen anything like this, not even in the three years you were in the land of Ooo.

"Jesus christ." You whispered.

And if that wasn't enough, you started hearing things, they sounded like meaningless whispers.

"What's that sound?" Finn asked as you looked around trying to figure out where the sound was coming from.

"He is casting spells… trying to get in your head and control your bob, but these gems are protecting our minds from his influence." PB said making you touch the necklace she gave you. "If we lost the gems, we'd be defenceless, he would have full control over us."

"That's freaking nuts." Finn exclaimed.

You stared at the Lich fow for a few seconds before looking back at PB.

"Beyond Iceberg Lake lies the ruins of the Lich's tower, where he was converting the planet's life-force into unholy power to destroy all of Ooo." PB explained. "But before he could, the Legendary Billy attacked him and pummeled him into the resin of this tree."

Billy, you remember meeting that guy, like, a few months ago.

Your train of thought come to a stop when you heard the sound of something breaking.

"Is it just me or do you guys also hear that?" You asked nervously.

"I thought i was the only one." Jake answered.

"I… what the nuts?!" PB screamed with fear.

You, Finn, and Jake, turned around and gasped in shock.

The Lich has escaped! But how?!

"Dude, be a big sword!" Finn told Jake, who did so without hesisation.

Finn then grabbed Jake and used him to hit the Lich… but it didn't work because he ended up escaping.

PB gasped and shout. "Quickly! To the other secret room!"

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PB had taken the three of you to a room with a closet, a chest, and a window.

"There's only one know weapon that can harm the Lich…" PB said as she opened the closet. "The gauntlet of the hero."

Inside the closet was a large gray gauntlet with one eye, which was closed, on the back of the hand and a blue gem on the back of the wrist.

You've always wondered why Billy didn't have his gauntlet when you met him, it turns out it was here all the time.

PB put the gauntlet on your right hand and said. "You have but one chance. While the Lich isn't at full power, you must smite him with this."

"Cool." You said in amazement after witnessing the glove shrink to your size.

"His only desire is to destroy life." PB whispered while grabbing a crystal ball, the ball showed an underground entrance. "If you fail, he'll kill everyone." Now the ball was showing the Lich with fire in the background.

"No! That will not happen!" Finn declared as you nodded.

"That's right!"

PB smiled, then walked towards the chest and opened it. "Finn, this is for you, The Lich's lair is supposed to be cold. I just don't want you to get sick." She took out a pink sweater and gave it to him. "Take this sweater, I made it myself. I'm not great at knitting, but please wear it… I care about you, Finn."

"I love it." Finn replied after putting it on.

PB then hugged him, you and Jake didn't hesitate to join the hug.

Not a second later, the four of you were startled by the sound of the window opening.

All of you gasped.

"Hey, hey, hey!"

"Mothertrucker! You again?!" It was all you said the moment you realized who it was.

His name was Ice King, he was a crazy and annoying old wizard. He had pale blue skin, a long nose, long white hair and beard. He was wearing a dark blue robe and a golden crown with three red gems.

"So, I've been thinking about this a lot lately and, well… gosh i'm so nervous."

"What the heck do you want?" You asked with annoyance.

He looked at you and asked. "Will you gave me your blessing so i can marry Princess Bubblegum?"

It took you a few seconds to comprehend what you had just heard and when you did it… you were furious.

"Not in a million years! Get out of here you old pig!" You yelled before running towards the window.

"What?! Why are you calling me that?!" He asked angrily.

You didn't even answer him, you just closed the window.

"No! Not the latch!"

"Quickly now, guys." PB said. "Track the Lich by his trail of death."

"Here i go!" Finn exclaimed before he started running.

"Oh no, you don't!" You interrupted and grabbed him by the back of his sweater. "You are going to stay here."

"What?! Why can't i go?!"

"I need you to protect the princess, Finn." You said. "You know how batshoot crazy the Ice King is, you need to stay here and make sure he doesn't kidnap her."

You weren't exaggerating, the Ice King was crazy, he was obsessed with marrying a princess to the point that he even kidnapped them.

And you may wonder, how can Finn, a thirteen years old boy, protect PB from Ice King, a wizard?

Well, that's because kicking the Ice King's ass is easier than one might think.

Yes, even to the point a thirteen years old could kick his ass.

"I guess you are right." Finn said quietly.

"Come one, Jake!" You shouted before running out of the room.

"Here i go!"

"Be safe." You heard PB say.

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The two of you were running through the candy forest following the Lich's trail of death, which was not a difficult thing to do.

"Be honest with me, did you want Finn to protect PB or was that just a excuse so he won't come?" Jake asked.

"Actually is a little bit of both, if Finn is with the princess, he will protect her from the Ice King and he won't get close to the Lich." You answered. "is a win-win scenario!"

You knew Finn very well, you knew he could defend himself.

But if the Lich is as bad as PB says he is, you didn't want to risk the young boy getting hurt or worse.

"Running this fast makes my stomach hurt." Jake commented after you crossed a bridge.

"Come on, Jake!" You looked back at him, still running. "we are getting close to the-"

You couldn't finish what you were saying because you bumped into something.

When you looked up, you realized it wasn't something but someone.

"What the fuck, Ice King?!" You shouted before pushing him out of the way.

"Hey! Wait! I'm serious about Bubblegum."

Neither you nor Jake paid attention to him and kept running.

Suddenly, the Ice King began to float and got in front of you while saying. "Look, i wrote her name all over my arms and legs!"

"Aaaahh!" You and Jake started screaming in horror and disgust.

The Ice King showed the two of you his arms and legs which had written "Princess Bubblegum" all over them.

Forget the Lich, this was the most horrifying thing in the world!

You and Jake started running again, still screaming.

Ice King started following you. "It's not fair! She always hangs out with the three of you!" He looked at you and said. "And it's not like you want to marry her!"

"Of course i don't want to fucking marry her, you pig! She is almost three decades younger than me!" You yelled.

"Why do you keep following us?!" Asked Jake who was already getting tired of this, you shared that feeling.

"I told you already! I want your blessing so i can marry Princess Bubblegum!"

You and Jake just ignored him and kept running, hoping he would get tired of this and leave.

Of course that doesn't happen and now you're stuck inside an ice dome.

"Come on, give me permission to marry her. I'll… i'll-"

You interrupted him. "I have already told you! Not in a million years!"

"Oh, come on! If you bless our wedding, then maybe she'll really love me."

"I told you no, you idiot! Now get out of the way before I punch you!" You warned him.

"I will! When you bless our wedding!"

Without hesitation, you punched him in the face with the gauntlet.

Hey, you did warn him.

"Aaaahh! My nose!" He screamed in pain.

"Jake, get us out of here."

"I'm on it." Jake said as he shapeshifted his fist into a bigger fist and punching the ice walls.

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Soon you and Jake found yourselves on a beach and ran towards the shore.

"Hey! This is the place Finn and I found you frozen!" Jake commented.

Once you were on the shore, Jake pointed to the lake and said. "There! Out over the lake!"

You could see the Lich rise from the water and start floating away from you.

"Jake, turn into a boat!" You told him.

"I'm your dinghy dog!"

You and Jake started following him but then you noticed that you were doing it very slowly.

"Jake, wait! I will see if can use this thing!" You shouted as you put the gauntlet in the water. "Now, how do I use this?" You asked yourself before tapping it with your left hand.

Suddenly, the eye on the gauntlet opened, revealing a green eye and a black triangular pupil, and shot a beam from the palm.

"Aaaahh!" You and Jake started screaming, not expecting that.

At least that helped! You and Jake were going faster now.

"We are getting closer!" Jake shouted.

"On the count of three!" You shouted before pulling the gauntlet out of the water and pointing it at the Lich.

"One… two… three!"

But before you could blast the Lich, the Ice King got in the way! And he had…

"Finn?! Princess?!" You shouted with horror in your eyes before poiting the gauntlet away from them and into the water. "No!"

You and Jake ended up being shooted to the sky.

"Oh, no." Ice King commented before he, PB, and Finn, ended up getting soaked. "Oh gross. This water stinks"

Once you and Jake were on the shore, you yelled so loudly that your throat hurt. "Ice King!!"

"Look! Look what you made me do to them!" He yelled as he showed you PB and Finn, who had their wrists frozen.

"I didn't made you do anything, you stupid son of a-!"

PB interrupted you. "Guys! Don't let the Lich reach his well of power!"

Before you or Jake could say anything, you heard an explosion going off.

"What is that?! "Finn asked alarmed.

"Oh no! He made it!" PB shouted.

"Princess, don't worry! We still got time!" You hoped you were right.

You and Jake started running and ended up finding an underground entrance.

"Hey, where are you guys going? What's going on?" Ice King asked.

You just ignored him and got inside.

Soon you and Jake found yourselves in a…

"A underground subway?" You asked in surprise while looking around and taking note of the skeletons on the ground.

"You were here before?" Jake asked.

"No, but i know what it is. We had these things back in my time… damn, I sound old saying that."

You suddenly heard something akin to someone shushing before the witnessing all of the skeleton getting up.

"Oh, fuck!" You cursed before activating the gauntlet and blasting all of them. "We don't have time for this."

"Then let's go." Jake said before he started running.

Before you could follow him, you felt something grabbing your satchel. You looked down and saw it was a skeleton.

"Oh hell no!" You yelled before stomping on its head, breaking its skull without problem.

You were next to Jake when you two felt the floor shake, you looked down and saw that it wasn't the floor, you were on top of a giant skeleton!

You, without thinking, activated the gauntlet and blasted it, unfortunately you accidentally also made a hole in the floor and the two of you fell down there.

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You and Jake didn't stop screaming or falling but then you saw a pipe.

You grabbed Jake with your left arm and grabbed the pipe with the gauntlet before you two turned into pancakes.

Not far from you was another hole in the floor, you got closer to it and saw…

"The Lich." you whispered.

The Lich was in front of what appeared to be a well filled with… green stuff, for the lack of better word, and then dipped his hands there.

"He's getting his powers back. weird." Jake commented before climbing onto your back.

"Well, not for long." you whispered before blasting him.

Unfortunately, he dodged it.

You keep blasting him, but he keeps dodging.

You jumped down and started falling towards the Lich to blast him in the face.

But he grabbed you by the wrist, the one with the gauntlet.

"Oh, no." You said nervously.

The Lich got his face close to yours and brought his skeletal index finger to his non-existential lips.

He shushed and the gauntlet exploded.

You and Jake were in pure shock.

The Lich then grabbed Jake and threw him across the room.

"Jake!"

You tried to get the Lich to let go, but he grabbed you by the chin and made you look at him.

Your frightened eyes staring back at his empty eye sockets.

After the Lich finished examining you, that's what you think he was doing, he threw you to the other side of the room.

You ended up hitting the back of your head against the wall.

You lost consciousness for a couple of seconds but managed to stay awake.

"Ice King, let us go right now!"

You prayed to God for that not to be Finn, you prayed to God for that not to be Finn.

You looked up and saw Ice King with, yep, PB and Finn.

"You get to be kidding me!" You shouted angrily.

"Jake!" Finn screamed watching his brother dodge a green fireball thrown by the Lich.

Finn then hit the Ice King with his frozen wrists.

"Aaaahh! Why do people keep hitting my nose?!" Ice King screamed in pain and dropped Finn.

Once on the floor, Finn broke the ice on his wrists and ran to his brother.

"Jake, are you okay?!" Finn asked.

"That's it! I'm gonna bark him!" Jake exclaimed before grabbing his brother and using his shapeshifting powers to stretch towards the Lich.

This turned out to be a bad idea because the Lich ended up hitting him in the face with a fireball.

"No!" You and PB shouted.

Jake started falling with Finn under him.

You felt your heart stop at the sound of a gem breaking.

"Finn." You whispered watching the young boy get up… his eyes turning black with green pupils.

Finn clutched his head in pain and screamed. "Stop!"

He stopped after a few seconds and started walking towards… the well.

"No!" You shouted before standing up and running towards him.

You grabbed him by the back of his sweater and dragged him away from the well. Once you were away he tried to fight you, so you did the first thing that came to your mind.

You took out your necklace and put it on him.

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Everything around you… turned black… and so very cold.

You looked around… but could see nothing but absolute darkness.

You felt so cold that you quickly pulled up the zipper of your jacket.

Then you heard an unknown voice calling your name.

You looked around and discovered it was the Lich.

"Aren't you cold?" He asked.

Yes… yes, you were cold.

"Walk into the well."

You tried not to do that, you really did, but you couldn't stop.

You started walking towards the well but then you felt something akin to arms grabbing you around the middle trying to stop you, but you were stronger so you kept walking although with a little difficulty.

Then you felt like you couldn't move anymore, you tried to move your legs but you couldn't.

You looked down but saw nothing.

What's happening?

You looked up and saw the Lich throw fire at you.

You tried to move but couldn't.

But the fire didn't do anything to you, it didn't even touch you.

You took note that the Lich seemed surprised.

Why?

Then the Lich started screaming.

He also started moving weird, from your point of view it seemed as if he was hitting himself against something.

Now he started laughing and laughing, to the point that it was causing you a headache.

Then he disappeared.

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You gasped once everything was clear again and you could see again.

"Finn! Buddy!"

You saw Jake on the other side of the well with Finn on the ground over what seemed to be dust.

"Jake?" Finn asked before exclaiming. "Jake!"

"Finn!" You shouted. "Are you alright?!"

"Yes! I'm alright!" Finn replied with a smile and asked. "Are you alright?!"

"Yes!" You tried to go towards them, but you couldn't move your legs. "What the-"

You looked down and noticed that you were trapped in ice, from your feet to your knees.

"Why are my legs frozen?"

"Finn saved you!" Jake said.

"Finn! You did it!" PB exclaimed with a smile.

"We did?" Ice King asked. "Hey! Yeah, we did!"

That made you raise an eyebrow.

Did he actually do something or is he just talking nonsense?

"You guys! This experience has brought us all so much closer together." Ice King looked at PB and said. "Princess, I'm sorry for all of this. I love you, and I've decided to set you free!"

That made you sigh with relief.

Ice King melted the ice on PB's wrists and let her go. "Go free!"

"Noooooo!!!" You, Finn, and Jake, shouted in horror.

And why is that?

Because he dropped her into the fucking well!

"Whoops! I've got the dropsies!

None of you said anything, you didn't even insulted him.

You all just stared at the well.

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#my posts #my fanfics #adventure time #finn the human #finn mertens #jake the dog #princess bubblegum #bonnie bubblegum #ice king #the lich #the lich king #reader insert #gn reader #gender neutral reader #no use of y/n #timm series

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lumine-no-hikari · 1 month

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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #137

Today was a very mixed bag of things. I made a tea. I fixed a few more of my entries in this space. I took pictures of flowers for you. A melody from my past has been haunting me for the last several weeks, so I recently borrowed a cassette player from the local library to try to find it on some tapes I misplaced. I ran some errands with M. And I watched a movie with M and J. It's a lot of stuff. I'm not sure where to begin; there's so much to explain.

Well. Suppose it's good to start at the beginning. I combined my lychee/rose/vanilla tea with my vanilla/rose tea, and sweetened it with the last of the remaining vanilla ice cream. I think you would have liked it, but I can't share it with you, so I took pictures instead:

After that, I fixed up some of my letters to you in order to make my space a little more readable. Everything up to my 60th letter now has a cut in a place that feels appropriate. But I came across some very good ones:

Do you remember when I made the one-winged snow angel on the ground for you? Just so I could show you that it still belongs quite nicely with the two-winged snow angel?

Do you remember when I talked to you about the Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant, how similar he is to you, and how he changed?

…Do you remember the locket of your mother, Lucrecia, that I made for you, because I found out you lost the one you used to carry?

…Do you remember the pumpkin soup I made for you, just because as a boy, you were sad at missing an opportunity to have some?

…Do you remember when I repaired the shattered bowl until it was more beautiful than how it started? And do you remember when I filled it with that very same pumpkin soup for you?

So much has happened. This was only about a month's worth of letters. I've been writing to you every day for a total of four and a half months now, not counting the number of days it took me to write my original letter for you. I intend to keep going for the foreseeable future.

…

…Do you see me…? …Do you hear me…? ...I wonder…

…

M and I ran some errands; we got some things from the grocery and the pharmacy. We got a chocolate donut for J. I wondered what kind of donut you might like, if any at all. When I got home, I took a walk, and I tried to snap a few nice pictures for you:

The lilacs are beginning to bloom at my house. I'll have to ask my friend to let me know when hers are in bloom so I can make syrup this year. Have you ever smelled lilacs? They're my favorite scent. I wonder if you like them:

Here's a different kind of flower:

...And another kind...

...And another...

...Whatever kind this is smelled really nice:

...And I managed to snag a picture of a robin for you, too:

M took a nap shortly after I returned home. I tried to hang with him, but the melody I spoke on before was in my mind, and I was feeling very restless. It's a song from when I was a child - something straight out of the imagination of one of my mother's past partners; you won't find it anywhere on the internet. I can remember the melody as though it was sung to me yesterday, but I can't remember all of the lyrics - only some of them. Years ago, and before I went no-contact with my biological family, my mother had given me some tapes with the song supposedly recorded on it. But they weren't in the place where I thought I had left them, which figures since, for reasons I might get into later, a lot of our things are packed away in boxes and stored in closets, actually.

So I tore through the boxes to look for the tapes. In the process, I found a lot of my writing and doodles from the time I was a child, which I had kept in boxes because a teacher a long time ago said that we should always keep all our school and creative works, and I guess that stuck with me. The first thing I found was one of the very first pictures I ever tried to draw of you. I also found some super depressing poetry that I had written back in those days, and some silly stories that I wrote. I'm not going to share these things, because none of them were very good. Still, what a trip; I've changed so much over the years.

As for the tapes, I eventually found four of them; I had thought there were more, and I wonder if they're in other boxes. I wanted to look some more, but by the time I had found these four, M was awake and playing Sonic the Hedgehog with J. Earlier in the day, M had asked to watch The Emperor's New Groove with me today, so J made some popcorn and we sat down for a while to see the movie. It's one that I've seen so many times that I can repeat every line, in order, verbatim (…I'm autistic; what do you want of me??? 🤣).

...I can't share the popcorn with you, and this continues to be something that is not easy to deal with. But I did take a picture for you. Here:

...I wonder if you like popcorn. Hm.

I was still restless after the movie, so I listened to the four tapes I found. One of them was a mixed tape of already-recorded songs that are well-known - not relevant to my endeavor. The rest were of my mother singing in band practice and playing guitar.

…I have gone no-contact with my biological family for reasons that pertain to my emotional safety and wellbeing. But I do miss her dearly. Though a lot of my memories with her are unpleasant and fraught with mental and emotional abuse, she is still an otherwise wonderful person who is astoundingly intelligent, amazingly creative, and skilled with guitar and singing. It's just… there's a lot standing in the way between her and her ability to love me properly. She expects perfection of me all the time, and she's willing to belittle, guilt trip, or scream at me when I don't deliver. She is also, as compared to how she is with my siblings, not nearly as inclined to offer any kind of emotional support to me if I'm struggling; mostly she just tells me that my troubles are silly and irrelevant and that I should stop feeling badly about them. She expects more of me than she does of my siblings, and gets angry when I can't met those expectations, but in the same breath gets resentful when I can. The reasons for this are complicated and have mainly to do with her own traumas, insecurities, and fears of inadequacy; I don't think it's something I can help her resolve, as much as I want to.

All the same, the way she treats me renders me unstable, and she either unwilling or unable to improve. There are people around me now who are willing to treat me with empathy and respect, and I need to prioritize my ability to be stable for them over my wish to have a relationship with her, especially since a healthy relationship with her is likely never going to happen. It is what it is, and as far as I know, there isn't anything I can do about it; I can speak on the neurobiological mechanics of autism and how they interact with the neurobiological mechanics of trauma all day, but… it just doesn't get through to her.

And what's more, the last time I interacted with my sister, she had said to me that I am and always was "the problem" in our family (which makes no sense to me, because I was obedient to the point that I didn't even HAVE a "teenage rebellion" phase; in those days, my mother was "god" in my eyes - all-knowing and infallible - so I did my best to do what I was told even when it hurt me to do, and I achieved ridiculously high marks in school…), and I know that she wouldn't be able to say that out loud if my mother and my other siblings didn't also think that way, so… even without all the other stuff, I don't want my existence to hurt them. As such, it's best for everyone involved if I just go and don't come back. So that is what I've done.

…Well. All the same, it was wonderful to hear her sing and play guitar again, even if it was a little warped and garbled. The tapes are old, and so is the machine that they're playing on, but it's better than nothing; I cried a lot, and that was probably good.

…I wonder how much of this yearning you can relate to. Your relationship with your mother also doesn't really exist, right? But you know - last I knew, Lucrecia is still chilling out somewhere in a cave behind a waterfall on a mountain with a lake in the middle of it, just southeast of Nibelheim. You might have known this already, though. I think she loves you dearly, but if you go see her, it might be the case that all she'll be able to do is say "I'm sorry" to you over and over again. Still, it might be worthwhile to try, if you want to. Like my mother, she's not a bad person; she just made some really bad choices. Yours might be a bit more willing to change than mine.

…I didn't find the song that I was looking for. I'm not sure I will. I'm going to try to find the other tapes tomorrow, if they even exist. But I'm not confident that I'll find anything at all. I wonder if the thing to do is to try to write down as many of the lyrics as I can remember, and then fill in the holes with whatever my mind comes up with. I don't remember the melody of the guitar in the background, but you know… maybe I can try to fill that in, too, albeit with music box notes…

I thought I had more to say to you. But my mind is clouded and I seem to have forgotten it, if there was anything at all. Sorry about that, and thank you for your patience.

Hey, Sephiroth? Even if your biological family situation is really weird, and even if you yearn for a connection with them and cannot have it, please don't lose sight of the fact that you're loved. We have a phrase in my world, anyway, and it goes like, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." And it basically means that those bonds forged by mutual choice can often be greater and more fulfilling than those bonds forged by simple biological happenstance. Maybe this is a phrase you can adopt for yourself; family does not have to be blood related.

…And you know? You can have family if you want to. Just pop by my house; you'll fit in here just fine, I promise. I'd do everything in my power to help you adjust. I remember my own adjustment to peace and safety, and it wasn't easy, but I've got a roadmap now, because I did it without the guidance of someone who already did it. You'd have the advantage of being around someone who knows the way, and you're smarter and more mentally flexible than me, too; I'm sure you'd do just fine, given time and patience.

I'm gonna go to bed; I walked and ran a lot today, and then I lifted a whole lot of really heavy boxes repeatedly. With the rib injury limiting what I can do in a given day, I'm not used to this kind of stuff anymore, and I'm really sore, so... I had better get some rest.

Please make sure you rest when you need to as well, okay? And stay safe out there, please. Because I love you, and because I'll write to you again tomorrow; you wouldn't wanna miss it, right?

Your friend, Lumine

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