church is such a fucking loser i think he listens to exclusively male manipulator music and one day tucker is like "dude what are you listening to" and he goes "uhhh yknow some badass shit like heavy metal" and tucker takes off his headphones and puts them on to listen and two seconds later hes on the floor in tears laughing because its the front bottoms

Blue team.

Alpha ai church

i do check my inbox i swear )-)o

still fucking w my church design but its getting there

this is like a church soyjak

So... about that new trailer huh

the Adam and Eve symbolism of Alpha Church and Beta Tex…

Reblog if you can hear this image

I don’t have the patience to fully finish this but! Blue team besties!!!

Red vs Blue Season 17 Swear Count

Their is 103* swears in total this season (*if you don't count shinso) and the first swear was said by Tucker.

Swears used:

tits, cock once; crap, bastard twice; dick 7; ass 10; damn, bitch 14; shit 15; fuck 37

Ranks:

Last place non-swearers Lopez, cosmic powers and Caboose

11th place is a tie Doc and Church(being dead 3 times over couldn't stop him) with 1

10th place is Felix with 2

9th place is Chrovos with 3

8th place is Huggins* with 4

7th place is Simmons with 5

6th place is Sarge with 6

5th place is a tie Sister and Carolina with 9

4th place is Donut* with 10

3rd place is Washington with 11

2nd place is a tie Tucker* and Genkins* with 13

1st place is Grif with 16

5 minutes of alpha church... rip king <3

my rvb au longfic hinges on allison "agent tex" texas church letting the father of her triplet children name then Leonard, Leonardo and Leonarda.

my only reasoning is she thought it was funny and then they got home

RvB meme dump #3

emotional support orb and blue team parent troubles

i have a lot of feelings about church and wash ok

on todays episode of Things I Realized While Eating Dinner:

epsilon was always much more effective at. well Functioning in general than alpha was. he was better at taking charge, contributing in combat situations, getting people to listen to him, and just being Generally Useful than alpha ever was. alpha, however, couldn't use his gun properly, no one listened to him, and for the most part he hadnt the slightest clue what he was doing.

its because epsilon learned to be a computer program, while alpha only ever wanted to be a person.

epsilon always functioned by augmenting the success of his teammates and boosting their functionality, unconcerned with his own. running their suits, holding their files, doing computer program stuff. he learned how to effectively be an ai and exist for those around him, no pursuit of his own self plauging him. theres more to that, with his whole character being built around him being an extension of someone else and him learning to live with that, struggling to find a self when everyone around him wanted him to be someone he wasnt. i think his time spent traveling with carolina was a real healing period, and he came back to the reds and blues much more sure of himself and ready to exist for their sake. in the end, it all came full circle as he gave every last chance of ever being a person with them for the hope of their success; sacrificing his corporeal existence to literally become energy for them to run on.

alpha, however, obviously never knew he was an ai until it was far too late, and even then died in spite of it. he wanted so badly to be everything that he wasn't: a person, a human, to mean something to someone. he appointed himself team leader in an attempt to feel important and needed, and he sucked so bad at it because he was grabbing at possibilities so far detatched from himself it was hopeless. he sucks with his gun because hes not meant to shoot it. he can't make decisions because he's meant to be a follower. he wanted so desperately to be something he wasnt. he was quicker to assume he was a ghost than that he was anything less than human. when wash told him he was an ai, he did Not believe it and wanted Nothing to do with it. he did inevitably go with wash, but it seemed as if he was trying to prove wash wrong, so deep in denial that he had convinced himself he could survive the emp, and had to prove it not only to wash, but to himself.

what if the alpha ai originally appeared as just a dude but after a few of the torture sessions he started projecting himself in armor in a subconscious attempt to protect himself

the original blues ig (if church + tex were human)??