#Alec is so fragile please stop hurting my man | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

raindancer2004 · 3 years

Text

Unloved and Unwanted?

Word Count: 4,169 Felix x reader Part Five Warnings: Fluff, NSFW

Y/N still struggled with feedings and her thirst and felt like she was letting Felix down; like she wasn’t good enough to be the mate of an elite guard. Felix noticed that Y/N was pulling away from him but didn’t know why until he overheard a conversation between her and Demetri “Hey Y/N, how are doing?” Demetri asked and noticed her eyes filled with venom and she lowered her head “I’m struggling and feel like I’m letting everyone down…that I’m letting him down” She replied low and he knew who Y/N meant as he too had noticed her pulling away from Felix. Demetri carefully placed two fingers under her chin and lifted her head “You have let no one down, especially not him. Is this why you have been distancing yourself from him?” She nodded “He deserves someone better…someone who doesn’t struggle with-with this life” “The way you were bought into this life wasn’t ideal and could be why you are struggling Y/N, I mean you and Felix were getting along so well and had discussed him turning you and that plan was taken away from you both. You cannot blame yourself if you struggle, no one wakes up a perfect newborn you know” He said softly “Really? Do you remember what you like as a newborn?” She asked “You trying to say I’m too old to remember?” He feigned a hurt expression “Maybe…” She winked at him and he chuckled “I was ready to tear into any human that I came across, even if it meant exposing my creator and myself. Amun, my creator decided to focus on helping me hone my tracking gift as a way to…distract me from the blood lust…” “Did it work?” She cut him off and he chuckled “Eventually. I was too focused on perfecting my gift and didn’t want to attract unwanted attention. It also helped that I was able to hunt whenever I wanted and didn’t have to feed in a room of full people. I used to make a mess as a newborn, but that also got better over time, now there’s no mess when I feed whether it be here in the castle or when away on missions” He replied “It’s nice to know that I’m not the only messy newborn” Demetri nodded at her and watched as Felix approached them being careful not to spook his newborn mate. “Y/N…may I?” He gestured to the space beside her on the bench and she nodded “I heard you two talking and I want to you to know you haven’t let me down. I’m proud of you and am very pleased to have you as my mate. Just let me help you…please” Felix said as he held her small hands in his larger ones and bought them to his lips, placing a kiss to them. She looked up at him, eyes still filled with venom and nodded slowly “Demetri and I will take you hunting away from the city until you have better control and are comfortable enough to feed with the rest of us” She nodded at Felix “I will train one on one with you away from the other guards” Demetri offered smiling “Really? You two would do that…for me?” “Yes, little one we would. I would anything for you” Felix replied “Me too cara…and besides I love a good hunt” Demetri added with a wink, Y/N laughed “Thank you, both of you.” “You more than welcome sweetheart” Demetri added.

The following day Demetri and Felix took Y/N hunting outside of the city, somewhere far from the castle. They came across a campsite where four humans sat around a fire talking, one of the men got up “I’m going for a piss” Y/N growled and went to move towards the three campers when Felix’s large hand gripped her throat “Not yet, little one” Y/N hissed at her mate and Demetri chuckled “Patience cara” and he took hold of her hand, hoping she wouldn’t crush it “Why?” She growled “We need to wait till the other one is far enough way before I let you loose, after all there are three of them and three of us” Felix replied low in her ear “You can have the spare human too” Demetri added with a smile. A few moments later Felix’s grip eased “Now” They all ran forward Y/N taking the red-haired female by surprise when she felt a cold hand wrap around her throat. The human was writhing beneath Y/N so much, that it wasn’t an efficient kill nor was it a clean kill “You look like a messy child” Demetri teased “Fuck off!” Y/N growled, baring her teeth and Demetri flinched “Language! Little one” Felix called out “Fuck off please!” Y/N growled back at the pair of them, Demetri chuckled and Felix shook his head “Not what I meant” He said looking her, earning another growl from her.

They arrived back at the castle and were greeted by Jane and Alec “How did the hunt go?” Jane asked Demetri “Y/N’s method needs work but she’ll get there” He replied “Maybe give her a bib next time” Alec chuckled “Fuck off Alec” Y/N hissed and Felix growled beside her “Please” Y/N added and walked off, the twins looked confused “Y/N told me to fuck off whilst we were out and Felix chastised her for it by saying ‘language’ to which Y/N replied fuck off please” Demetri explained, not bothering to hide his smirk “That wasn’t what I meant and she knows it” Felix added “So Y/N swears politely as a result?” Jane asked, amusement clear in her voice and Demetri nodded smiling “Interesting little newborn” Alec smirked.

Demetri loved Y/N when she was his human friend as she introduced him to new things and he liked seeing her experience stuff for the first time; he also liked that he could protect her as she was breakable, but now that she was a newborn, he loved her even more as she wasn’t as fragile but she was still his Y/N, his friend. He enjoyed training with her especially after he decided to train her to take down her mate Felix just for fun; something she quickly agreed to, happy to have a distraction from the constant bloodlust. Demetri was the only male Felix would allow to touch and train with Y/N as he knew how much he cared for her and that she’d be safe with him.

“Let’s show Felix what you have learnt over the past few weeks” Demetri smiled looking at Y/N, who nodded “Felix, would you mind?” She asked sweetly, giving him her best doe eyed look “Not at all, little one” Felix replied walking towards his mate ‘Poor bastard’ Demetri thought to himself, trying to hide his smile. Y/N was strong for a newborn and was looking forward to taking down the mountain of a man that was her mate. She ran at him jumping and wrapping both legs around his neck, his hands went straight to the base of her back, just above her ass as they hit the ground…hard. Y/N tried to roll away but Felix grabbed her leg but before he could do anything, she kicked out at him with her other foot, he cried out in pain as her foot connected with his neck. Y/N quickly got up and moved away from him a little, then kicked him with such force that he moved across the courtyard and flipped over onto his front. Y/N moved so fast, Demetri would have missed it had he been human, she stood on her mate’s back, one foot at the base of his neck, she grabbed his arms holding them upwards behind him, ready to pull them off. Felix growled low and Demetri watched as Y/N’s eyes turned black, a hiss broke past her lips as she pulled his arms further behind him “Y/N. Don’t” Demetri warned but it was too late, a cracking sound echoed through the courtyard as Y/N pulled both of Felix’s arms from his shoulders, Felix’s agonised cries seem to snap Y/N out of the newborn haze, Demetri wrapped his arms tightly around her torso “Drop them” He growled low and she did although she was thrashing about in the tracker’s arms trying to get free “What the hell Y/N?” Felix asked at the same time as Y/N asked “What have I done?” “You were supposed to take him down Y/N, subdue him but…you- you ripped his arms clean off” Demetri answered her and she stopped moving “Put me down” Demetri shook his head, his grip tightening slightly “PUT ME DOWN” She growled “Please” “It’s ok D, put her down” Felix said looking over his shoulder; Demetri released his hold and put her down. As soon as her feet touched the ground she ran to Felix, her knees beside his head. He looked up to see her eyes full of venom “I’m so sorry, really. It was supposed to be fun and I-I…” It’s ok Y/N. D can reattach them for me” “I’m so so sorry. Please don’t send me away Fe” Felix and Demetri both felt their undead hearts break “D. Hold her for me. Comfort her” Felix called out and Demetri didn’t hesitate he knelt beside her and took her into his arms “Sshh sshh. It’s ok. You’re ok sweetheart” He stroked her hair “I broke him” She sobbed into his chest “Only a bit but he’s a big boy. He'll survive” Demetri chuckled “Git” Felix said “Silver lining, Y/N you beat Felix in a fight and I, as your trainer am proud of you” Y/N chuckled “Thanks Dem. I guess I did win that one huh?” “Yes, you did little one” Felix said with a smile “Although, I’m beginning to rethink D training you.”

A wicked glint flashed through Y/N’s eyes as an idea popped into her head “I like training with Dem, he’s taught me a lot” She smiled at them, unwrapping Demetri’s arms from around her “Dem’s a very good teacher…he’s knowledgeable about a range of topics. I’d even go as far as saying he’s very experienced…” She trailed off, winking at them both before she took off running, laughing as she heard Felix growl “Felix. She’s teasing you. I only taught her how to fight…I promise” Demetri said to Felix looking worried “You gave me advice on how to…please him, remember Dem?” She said low in his ear, he hadn’t noticed she had ran in a circle and was now crouching behind him, Felix growled again “Demetri” “She asked for my advice…she was worried she couldn’t or wouldn’t be able to please you. I merely offered my friend some advice” Demetri shot her a glare and she giggled “Messing with you two is so much fun” She ran inside the castle laughing “Run Y/N” Demetri called out and took off after her, leaving Felix laying on the ground armless “Mates plus friends equals trouble” He said to low to himself.

The news of Y/N getting lost in the newborn haze and ripping her mate’s arms off travelled round the castle quickly after Santiago had discovered Felix outside and had offered to help him reattach them. The Kings found it rather amusing especially Caius “Feisty little newborn. I’m so proud” “He would be” Felix commented low and Alec snickered “I also heard Demetri gave your mate sex advice as part of her newborn training. I didn’t realise that was an option now. Maybe I should retake the newborn training class” Alec didn’t bother to hide the shit-eating grin on his face “Fuck off” Felix growled low “No please Felix?” Jane asked teasingly, Felix just growled deciding on ignoring the twins for a while.

Once Felix’s shift finished he made his way back to his room and locked the door. He felt Y/N’s arms wrap around him from behind, gently taking her hands in his he turns around in her arms and leans down capturing her lips with his own, she sighed and he slipped his tongue into her mouth and gently fought her for dominance which she allowed. She stood up on her tip toes hands resting on his shirt covered chest; he bent his knees a little and his hands rested on the back her thighs and lifted her up in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist “I want you little one” He softly whispered not wanting to ruin the moment “Really?” She asked taking her bottom lip between her teeth “Yes, little one. I would’ve taken you whilst you were human but we never got that close” He kissed her lips softly before placing her on the bed and knelt before her on the floor “Let me make you feel good…” He trailed off and she nodded at him causing him to smile at her. He ran his hands up her thighs moving her skirt up to reveal her lace panties and he placed a kiss to her lace covered centre before gently pushing her to lie down on the bed. He kept one hand on her stomach as he kissed her covered centre again before removing her panties and gently parting her thighs with his hands, placing his mouth over her clit and sucking and flicking the bundle of nerves. A breathless moan left her lips and he growled low, the sound vibrating against her and he gently slipped one finger inside her, moving it in and out of her a few times before adding a second finger “Ahh…Fe” He smiled against her and continued to suck and flick her clit with his tongue as his fingers moved within her bringing her closer to her release. He knew she was getting close as she writhed beneath him, he pressed his hand down a little harder on her stomach to keep her in place “Fe I’m so…” “Relax and cum for me baby” He purred low and pushed his fingers in a little deeper, hitting a new spot inside her, her walls clenching around his fingers and she came “Oh my god” She gripped the bedsheets and her head fell to the side as her eyes squeezed shut, “Oh” She moaned low as he kept sucking her clit as she came down from her high. He withdrew his fingers and placed them in his mouth tasting her before moving up the bed and whispering “You taste so good” He kissed her allowing her to taste herself on his tongue, he kissed along her jawline moving down to kiss just below her ear, she gasped as he rolled his hips against her. He continued to kiss her moving down her neck, gently sucking and nibling her skin.

“Felix” “Yes little one” “Make love to me…please” He didn’t answer her, instead he got off the bed and removed his clothes. He climbed back onto the bed hovering over her; pulling her up so he could remove her top and bra “So beautiful…and mine” He kissed her and laid her back down, quickly removing her skirt “Please Felix” She begged low and moved her hands up his chest over his shoulders and let her hands run down his back, nails lightly scratching his skin and he growled in her ear as he slipped into her easily; stilling for a few moments to allow her to adjust his long thick cock before he continued to ease into her until he was fully inside her, filling her completely. He stilled again loving how tight she felt around him “Move…Fe…please” She begged him low “So eager” He smiled against her skin as he pulled out of her slightly before slowly re-entering her “Ahh” She breathed out and her legs wrapped around him allowing him to slide in deeper “Felix” She cried out, lifting her hips a little to grind against him “Y/N” He growled her name, then his head dipped low to take a nipple into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue “Oh…god” Her back arched up into him and he purred before switching breasts, thumb and finger rolling the other nipple. His thrusts became faster and harder as he chased his own release and felt her walls clench around him “Oh Y/N” He called out as he came inside her; her feeling every twitch of his hard member as he continued to thrust within her, riding out their orgasms together “I love you Y/N” “I love you too Felix” He stayed buried inside her and held her in his arms for a moment before she rolled them over “Up for another round handsome” She purred in his ear and began moving her hips over his, a breathless moan leaving his lips and she smiled down at him “I have nowhere else to be little one” He replied enjoying seeing his mate on top of him. She continued to move her hips over his as her fingers lightly scratched his chest, her head rolled back and her mouth open “Ahh” Felix’s hands moved up her thighs towards her hips, gently holding her as she lifted almost completely off of him before lowering herself back down “Fuck” They both cried out together “You feel so good inside me Fe” He thrusted up into her and she grinded against him “That’s because we were made to be together” She moved her hips over his faster, grinding against him each time, chasing her release, his hands moved and cupped her breasts squeezing lightly, thumbs brushing her nipples “FELIX!” She screamed his name as she came hard around him “Y/N” Her name leaving his lips as he came inside her “Don’t stop Fe, please it feels so good” She rolled her hips against his riding out their highs together. He rolled them over so she was beneath him again “I think you can give me one more baby” That was the only warning she got before he pulled out of her until only the tip of his cock was inside her, then he slammed back into her taking her rough and fast “OH GOD YES!!!” She cried out and wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer to her. Felix continued his rough, fast movements within her, his fingers moving down between them to play with her sensitive clit “FELIX” “Y/N” They came together “God I love you Felix” “I love you too.” Someone banged on the adjoining bedroom wall “Take a break Fe...I counted four orgasms” Demetri’s voice sounded through the wall. They chuckled “I think you were a little loud little one” Felix smirked “So were you” She replied smiling. They showered quickly and once they were clean they laid back down on the bed and he held her in his arms “Just like when you were human” She hummed in agreement before kissing him “Goodnight Fe” She said playfully and snuggled into him.

A few days later Felix was guard duty but was asked to guard the door to Aro’s study as he didn’t wish to be disturbed. The corridor was quiet and Felix was a little bored until Demetri came and joined him for a bit “What are you doing here Fe?” He asked low “Aro doesn’t wish to be disturbed so he has asked that I guard the door to his study” Felix replied “Mind if I join you for abit?” “Not at all D. It’s a bit boring standing here on my own” He replied low. A little while later Y/N appeared wearing an outfit Felix wished she wasn’t, seeing as he was on duty “Ahh, my two favourite vamps” She greeted with a smile “Y/N” They said at the same time “What are you doing here little one?” “I’m bored Feee” She dragged out his name as she ran her fingers up and down the front of his jacket, her head resting on his chest “Why don’t you go to the library and do some reading?” Felix offered “I don’t want to read a book…” She trailed off, he fingers still moving up and down his jacket “How about you spend some time with Chelsea?” Demetri suggested “She’s busy…with Matt” Y/N replied, her hand moving lower down his jacket “There must be something you want do little one, whilst I’m working.” Demetri smirked as Y/N bent over in front of Felix showing a little of the blue lace panties she was wearing “Oops” She said as she bent down to pick up ‘something’ up, Felix and Demetri didn’t see what though. Y/N smoothed her skirt down once she stood back up, she even adjusted her top ensuring Felix got an eye full of cleavage, Demetri also got a look as he was standing beside his friend and couldn’t help feeling a little aroused ‘she’s my friend’ he reminded himself trying to cool down “I’ll see you later Fe, Y/N” “Wonder why he left in a hurry” Y/N purred in her mate’s ear as she cupped his crotch, Felix growled low “I think you know why little one” Y/N giggled and looked up at him through her lashes trying to look innocent; he groaned and captured her lips in a kiss “Go and wait in our room…I’ll deal with you later” “Ok” She replied smiling and walked away leaving her mate standing outside Aro’s office clearly aroused.

“Did it work?” Jane asked “Go take a look” Y/N replied with a smirk looking over her shoulder, Alec walked off to see if Y/N accomplished the bet ‘to try and turn on Felix whilst on duty.’ “Dem left rather quickly” She added with chuckle. Alec returned and handed her €10, “Damn” Jane growled as she handed over the money too. “Thank you” Y/N replied. The trio made their way to the library and got comfortable, reading for the afternoon.

Later that evening Felix returned to their room to find Y/N waiting for him on their bed wearing the green lace lingerie set he bought her after her first ‘tour’ feeding. He quickly removed his clothes, leaving his boxers on and made his way to the bed and captured her lips with his “Don’t move” He ran into his closet and returned with a few ties “Arms up” He said smiling and she did as he asked, watching as he tied her wrists to the bedframe “You don’t get to touch me tonight little one” He winked at her before he carefully removed her bra and panties and settled himself between her thighs. He looked up at her and she noticed his usual ruby eyes were now nearly black “I’m hungry” He growled low and buried his face in her heat; sucking harshly on her clit as he pushed two fingers into her, thrusting them in and out of her, being a little rough “Oh god” She cried out and began to writhe beneath him, he removed his fingers and whimpered at the loss only for him to slip his tongue deep inside her, his fingers roughly pinching and rubbing her clit. Her head rolled back “Felix” She came hard and he purred against her core, sending vibrations through her body, before she had time to recover from her first orgasm of the night, he removed his boxers and slid inside her with one quick thrust filling her deeply “You’re so tight, little one” He buried his face into her neck sucking and nibbling on her skin there as he pounded into her hard and fast “YES! YES!” She screamed, he smiled knowing only he could please her this way. “Y/N” He called out as he came inside her, her walls clenching around him as she came for the second time that evening. He untied her wrists, placing a kiss to each one “I love you Y/N” “I love you too.”

Despite the polite request from Demetri for them to ‘keep the noise down’ they screamed out in pleasure another four times before Jane knocked on their door and threatened to pain drop Felix’s ass, insisting they take a break or find a way to be quiet. “Thank you Jane” Demetri said loudly enough for them to hear “They were so loud even I could hear them” She replied “You’re just jealous because you two aren’t getting any” Felix called back in response “Play nice Felix” Y/N purred before wrapping her lips around Felix’s still hard cock “You will be the death of me Y/N” She purred in response “Remember you need to need to be quiet Fe” She winked at him before taking him into her mouth again, the tip of him hitting the back of her throat, teeth grazing his length, her hands sliding up and down, what she couldn’t take orally; her hands moving in time with her mouth. He muffled his cries of ecstasy with a pillow as he emptied himself down her throat, her swallowing everything he gave her “Such a good boy” She purred kissing him, he could taste himself on her tongue and he deepened the kiss, holding her tight in his arms.

#felix volturi #demetri volturi #alec volturi #jane volturi #aro volturi #caius volturi #marcus volturi #volturi #twilight #heidi volturi

104 notes · View notes

spookyboywhump · 3 years

Text

Oooh boy, this got LONG (3,036 words), and the whumpiest part ain’t even till towards the end, my bad

It’s Valentine’s day in the Bad Timeline and nobody is really vibing

CW: Pet whump, creepy whumper, intimate whump, very brief nsfw mention, brief emeto mention, hand whump, beating, strangulation, nonsexual noncon touch

***

He had a bad feeling about this, staring down at the boxes in front of him. Nicholas had presented them to him that morning before locking him and Cain in the bedroom, after warning him it would be in his best interest to accept the gifts and be looking presentable in the next few hours. Hours had passed though and he still hadn’t done much but stare at the white boxes, decorated with blue silk ribbons.

“You should be thankful,” Cain said, and Wren almost hit him, “The last gift he gave me was my fucking collar.” He said bitterly.

“I don’t think any of this is going to be better than a collar.” He muttered.

“He’s going to be back any minute now, you might as well get it over with.” He hated to admit it but he knew he was right, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with more than Nicholas’ attitude. Finally, he started opening the gifts, discarding the ribbons to the side, which Cain didn’t hesitate to pick up and start fidgeting with. Wren could tell he was bitter that Nicholas hadn’t left him anything, and he would’ve felt bad for him if not for the fact that he already knew he didn’t want a single one of these gifts.

Inside the boxes he found a new outfit to add to the growing wardrobe Nicholas had for him. More pretty clothing that he only hated because it came from Nicholas, and he wasn’t particularly fond of the new earrings, or the headband with a bow hanging off it, however, he did like the idea of kicking Nicholas with the new shoes he’d been given. Nicholas had gotten rid of his beloved red converse a long time ago, and barefoot kicks simply weren’t cutting it.

“He’s disgusting…” He muttered more to himself.

“It could be worse.” Cain said. “You’ve seen the kind of things other owners will make their pets wear. I think we’re lucky he’s not that bad.”

“Would you stop making excuses for him?” He snapped at him. “I know you have some sick crush on him but I don’t, and I don’t give a damn how good he is compared to other owners.” He said, not looking up at Cain as he looked over the envelope Nicholas had left him, addressed to Love. He opened it, and cringed at what looked like a typical flowery Valentine’s Day card. He didn’t even bother reading it, opening the card to see if there was anything worthwhile inside. A part of him thought it would be really funny to find money, but instead he found something else, he found photos. His breath caught in his throat, he dropped the card and frantically shuffled through the photos, Cara, Lila, Alec, Zander, even Alondra. They were all clearly taken without the subject’s knowledge, they were all recent, and Wren swore he was going to be sick. Cain had picked up the card when he’d dropped it, but now he was holding it out to him.

“You might want to read this…” He said softly, and Wren snatched it from him. Nicholas hadn’t written anything exceptionally creepy, not in the way Wren expected anyway. Instead he’d just left a simple, direct message.

”Behave and you can keep the photos- and keep the people in them safe.”

Out of anger, he dropped the photos and tore the card in half, tearing it up into small pieces before getting to his feet, angrily pacing the room. He was more scared than anything really, his heart pounding away in his chest.

“That fucking creep.” He muttered angrily. “I’m so-so fucking sick of him! What the fuck is he gonna do, he- he can’t- he can’t hurt them-!”

“If he got you, then he can get them.” Cain said, looking through the photos. “Fuck- Zander looks like a wreck.” He muttered, and Wren stormed over, snatching the photos from him. He held them close to his chest for a moment, anxiously looking around the room before going over to the bookshelf, grabbing a random book off it and sticking the photos between the pages, memorizing the title before putting it back where he’d gotten it. He’d never seen Nicholas touch any of those books, and he knew that his safest bet to keep the photos would be to keep them out of sight. Even if Nicholas wanted to take them he likely wouldn’t be able to find them, and while he couldn’t do much to keep the actual people safe, it did make him feel a little better.

He knew he was running out of time so he finally changed into the clothes Nicholas had left for him, swearing and muttering the entire time. He felt ridiculous when he looked at himself in the mirror, though he was glad it wasn’t one of the more revealing looks, he still didn’t like the big bow hanging off the shirt, he thought the headband was a bit too much, and he got so frustrated trying to get the earrings he was wearing out to switch them that Cain had to get up and help him. He hated letting him near him, he was still getting used to the shift in their dynamic, really he wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to it at all.

He’d just barely finished getting ready when Nicholas returned, the sound of the door unlocking startling both of them. Cain backed off of him, and for now, Wren tried to play nice with his new owner. He didn’t flash him a big fake smile and greet him with love and adoration in his voice, but he did tone down the glare he gave him, keeping his hands behind his back for now so Nicholas wouldn’t see his hands clenched into fists. The man smiled as he looked him over, he seemed pleased with his work and that was enough to make Wren angry all over again, though he kept his face blank.

“You look beautiful, Love.” He said as he approached him, and Wren held still as he stood in front of him, reaching up to tilt his chin up.

“Thank you.” He said through gritted teeth, and Nicholas seemed more amused than anything.

“You’ll behave for me, right?” He asked, and Wren nodded as he subtly pulled away from him.

“Of course, sir.” He said, having to force himself back into the behavior he’d exhibited with Cain. Nicholas slipped his arm around his shoulders, and spared a glance at Cain.

“We’ll be back later, darling.” He told him, and Wren could see the way his face fell. He didn’t like it, but he couldn’t help but feel slightly bad for him. He knew if they could trade places he’d gladly return him to Nicholas’ attention. For now he was stuck with him, led away to simply be a pretty accessory to the man for the time being.

***

He knew he shouldn’t have been angry at him, he didn’t have a say in it, he didn’t want to be here, but Cain couldn’t help it. He sat on Nicholas’ bed with his knees pulled up to his chest, struggling to blink back tears.

Things weren’t good before. He was still a pet, Nicholas treated him like a toy at the best of times and like a horrible, misbehaving mutt at the worst of times. But the longer that Wren was here, the more he was beginning to feel that maybe, being a toy wasn’t so bad. It hadn’t even been that long but he missed Nicholas’ affection, he missed being held by him and he missed the feeling of his hand carding through his hair. He wasn’t sure if he was doing it to hurt Cain on purpose, but it was obvious which pet he liked more. Wren was at his side more often, Wren was treated like a delicate, fragile thing when he behaved, and when he was good Nicholas would let him sleep next to him- more like he forced him to, really- while Cain was confined to a cage. At this point, he only gave Cain attention when he wanted to hurt him or when he wanted to fuck him, though the two often overlapped.

He reached up and angrily wiped at his eyes. He never once thought he’d be this hurt and jealous over Wren of all people. He’d been jealous of Zander before, incredibly so, and really he knew that Nicholas was unnaturally, creepily interested in the boy since the beginning. He didn’t think it would turn into this though, and he should’ve felt bad for Wren, he should’ve wanted him safe but he hardly cared about the circumstances, he just wanted him gone.

He hated to admit it, but he wanted his master back.

***

He had been walking on eggshells the entire time he’d been with Nicholas. It was easy through his meeting, if not a little embarrassing to kneel at his side like an obedient dog. He’d tried to keep some distance between them but Nicholas had grabbed him by the hair, forcing him to rest his head against his leg and let him play with his hair, the most attention he gave him while he talked with the other man. He couldn’t stand to be so pliant with him, typically he’d have acted out the first chance he got, but Nicholas hadn’t really given him much reason to. Aside from tugging on his hair, he’d been almost nice to him. Wren couldn’t stand it.

He managed to last through the rest of the day, for once keeping his mouth shut, wearily watching Nicholas’ every move, waiting for him to snap, waiting for him to just do something. His fear and anxiety finally got the best of him that evening, not only had Nicholas been generous enough to feed him, he was letting him sit at the table, something he’d never done before in Wren’s short time here.

“What’s the point of all this?” He finally asked, failing to hide the irritation in his voice.

“What do you mean, Love?” Nicholas asked him, as though this was all completely normal.

“All… all of this.” He said, gesturing with his hands as he spoke. “The- The gifts, the keeping me at your side all day, and now this.” He said, gesturing to the table now. “What’s the catch, huh? What are you fucking doing?”

“I’m just treating my love the way I should.” He said with a laugh. “I must say, I didn’t expect you to behave the entire time. I like it though, obedience suits you.” He said, and Wren glared at him. His questioning was interrupted when dinner was finally served to them, and it had been so long since he’d eaten that he couldn’t help but eagerly go to dig in. He paused though, the fork halfway to his mouth before he looked at Nicholas, who didn’t seem to find anything wrong.

“You try it first.” He said, holding the fork out to him.

“Why?” Nicholas asked, one eyebrow raised.

“So I know you aren’t trying to fuck with me. How am I supposed to know whether or not you had them slip something into my food specifically?” He said seriously.

“You’re far too paranoid, but fine.” Nicholas said, allowing Wren to feed him the bite of food, and it took all his self control to not shove the fork down his throat. It did ease his fears though, now that he knew it was safe he finally started eating. At one point Nicholas had to warn him to slow down, he was eating as though it would be taken from him at any moment, he couldn’t help it though. He’d just barely been getting accustomed to eating whenever and however much he liked when Nicholas had taken him, leaving him starving more often than not.

He sat back in his chair when he was done, though he couldn’t bring himself to relax. He knew something was coming, he could feel it, he just didn’t know what. Typically he tried to ignore Nicholas, but he found himself talking to him before he could remind himself to shut up.

“You really don’t have something fucked up planned?” He asked.

“I do not.” Nicholas said, that amused look on his face again. Wren wanted to hit him.

“You want something.” He said bluntly. “The gifts, the card, the fucking photos. You want something and I’m not going to fucking give it to you.” He said, sitting up straight again. It made his skin crawl to think about the things he knew Nicholas wanted from him, but even then if he wanted that so bad he could’ve drugged him, and he didn’t.

“All I want from you is your obedience.” Nicholas told him. “You were perfect for me today, that’s all that I want from you. You just need to be my sweet, well behaved Love.” He said. “My quiet, lovely pet.” Wren was quickly getting sick of this, that rage and defiance he’d buried all day finally bubbling up. He abruptly got to his feet, his hands slamming down on the table.

“I’m not your fucking pet!” He snapped. “I’m not your pet, I’m not your “Love”, I’m sure as hell not your fucking doll! You can’t fucking keep me like this!”

“Can’t I?” Nicholas smiled at him. “Nobody is looking for you. It was all too easy for their miserable, alcoholic friend to simply disappear, likely an accident. Nobody is going to stop me, and nobody is going to rescue you.” He said, speaking calmly, which only further angered Wren.

“I don’t need somebody to rescue me, I’ll get out of this place myself if I fucking have to. You don’t, and you never will own me.” He snarled.

“Are you done?” Nicholas asked him. “You know, I really don’t like lying, Love.” He said, and Wren noticed him grab the steak-knife too late, before he could move Nicholas plunged the blade into his hand, pinning his hand to the table. Wren clapped his other hand over his mouth to muffle his scream, the pain so severe he nearly collapsed, his legs feeling weak all of a sudden. Nicholas stood up now, roughly grabbing Wren by the wrist, pulling his hand away from his face. He leaned in close to him, that cruel smile on his face now. “And saying I don’t own you is a terrible lie.” He let go of his wrist, and Wren sobbed as he wrenched the knife out of his hand. He instinctively pulled his hand close to his chest, struggling to hold back his cries, but Nicholas was quick to drag him away from the table, throwing him to the floor, angry enough to carry out his punishment there in the dining room.

All Wren could do was try to cover his head as Nicholas kicked him over and over again, a particularly well placed blow to the stomach almost causing him to vomit. He tried to get up before it could get worse, but Nicholas hit him hard enough to knock him back down, hard enough he swore he blacked out for a moment. He didn’t get a chance to defend himself, Nicholas got down on the floor with him, straddling his waist and landing another hit on his face, causing his nose to bleed.

“Is this what you wanted me to do to you?” He snarled, his hands wrapping around Wren’s throat, the boy desperately grabbing and clawing at his wrists in an attempt to make him let go. “Do you want me to treat you like a disobedient little bitch? You were doing so well all day long, what do you gain by ruining that?” His grip around his throat got tighter and tighter, cutting off his cries for help, effectively silencing him, only the slightest wheeze escaping his mouth. His vision was going dark, finally his arms fell limply at his sides, and that was when Nicholas let go of him, not moving from his spot on top of him though. Wren gasped for air, taking deep, heaving breaths, only stopping when a cough would wrack his body.

“You stupid, ungrateful bitch.” Nicholas muttered, looking down on him disdainfully. “I’ve been nothing but kind to you all day and you still reject it. And look- you got blood all over your new clothes, you really are good for nothing, aren’t you?” He said, finally getting off him. Wren didn’t move though, he laid there trying to catch his breath, holding his still bleeding hand close to his chest.

He’d been worried, waiting for something to happen all day, he’d been so sure that Nicholas planned to harm in, and in the end it was all his own, stupid fault he got hurt.

***

He stared his reflection down, shuddering as Nicholas trailed a hand down his bare back. His torso was painted with bruises, dark, ugly splotches against his skin, the punishment he earned for daring to lie to his master. On some level he considered himself lucky, he hadn’t been allowed back in the bedroom the night before and when he saw Cain he looked rough, but that didn’t change the fact that he was in so much pain, sore and aching after the beating. There were even bruises around his throat where Nicholas had strangled him, his pretty blue collar doing nothing to hide them.

“It’s a shame you made me do this to you, Love.” Nicholas said, his voice excessively gentle compared to the way he dug his fingers into a bruise on his ribs, causing Wren to wince in pain, screwing his eyes shut.

“I didn’t make you do anything…” He muttered, glancing down at his bandaged hand. He couldn’t believe that simply snapping at him got him all this, he hadn’t even bit him or tried to hit him like he had in the past. He had a feeling that Nicholas was getting tired of him, his defiance was losing its charm and though he didn’t want to admit it, Wren was terrified of what would happen when Nicholas was finally and completely over him.

#valentine's day #whump #my writing #my oc's #wren #cain #nicholas #pet whump #dehumanization #strangulation #hand whump #beating #bad timeline

79 notes · View notes

khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

me, nodding of to sleep: IM HERE IM HERE

did my head just loll to the side? you will never know. first of all this chapter was the most beautiful thing i have ever read. Mavid have my HEART. It's also 4 16 am so im sorry if the reactions are a little bland but this was PERFECT.

me, throughout the whole thing: mavid mavid mavid

They had kissed for the first time almost a week ago. And they had kissed again. A couple of times.

Okay fine, they had kissed a lot since then.

Not a lot a lot. But a lot.

Wait a minute. How much kissing was a lot of kissing?

this is adorable

“I heard he cried when he found out Lexi and Liv were dating,” David chuckled.

yup that's jace

“We have to pay to talk on the phone?” Max asked incredulously. “I thought it was free.”

“Of course it isn’t free, Max!” David chuckled. “We have to pay for WiFi too.”

“This is ridiculous!” Max said. “Next you will say we have to pay for electricity.”

“Um, we do have to pay for electricity,” David chuckled again.

we pay for water too

but max you didnt know-

“Don’t let them guilt trip you!” Max had chastised. “They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”

cant relate nope

“I don’t know,” Max groaned. “My family is so dramatic.”

the lightwood-banes in one sentence

THERE ARE SO MANY FEELS MY HEART CANNOT CONTAIN

“Well, too late!” Max announced. “This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.”

In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that.

nah its gonna be great

“Perhaps you should just take him to the New York Library. They have, uh, books.”

yes that is what they keep in libraries

OH MY GOD THE FRIEND IS ELYASS

HERE'S MY FAVORITE DEMON Y'ALL

His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice.

But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages.

well-

you know i really shouldnt have laughed at the demon attack news but for some reason i did

i blame my sleep deprivation

shit i feel sick

you know maybe i shouldve just waited till the morning...

ok but the demon attack is NOT coincidental

there is something going on

“I thought dragon demons were extinct!” Max yelled over the commotion.

well-

ANJALI

“Man, fuck the orders!” Max said in frustration.

if you get hurt ill kill you

oh it's not her

well fuck

“That was an Armani, you piece of shit!” Rafael yelled at the demon. Max almost laughed.

THE AUDACITY

It really did. Dragon demons smelled like they lived inside a boys locker room.

well that's nice to know

FUCK THEY ARE TALKING NOW???

ok what is going on

“Say the thing!!!”

“I’m not saying the damn thing, you maniac!”

“Say the thing!”

Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.

“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

LMAO THEM

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.”

Im so sleepy i cant even react to this

but THEM I CANT-

WHERE.IS.ALEC

Max wanted to laugh. Only David would worry about another person while being injured in the infirmary.

MUST BE PROTECTED

Max nodded; his throat still dry. He couldn’t stop staring at David. At the wound. At the blood.

Also, maybe the naked chest.

AHEM

OH MY GOD JAIME IS ALIVE

we're getting lightwood-bane fluff LET ME CRY

alec...

on one hand alec smoking is fucking hot BUT WITH THE MUNDANE DISEASES OH HELL NAH

“But it tastes so good when it’s from your plate!” Max said with a mouth full of food.

“Oh, you want my food? Here!” Rafael grinned and threw a piece of chicken at his face.

Max caught it with his mouth cause wasting food was a crime. “Thanks, bro!”

“You little s-”

HE CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH

“And no fighting over chicken!” Bapak pointed out. “We can always summon some more.”

“Order,” dad corrected. “We don’t summon. We order. And then we pay.”

“How do we destroy capitalism if we have to pay for everything?” Max asked.

Max has a point y'know

“That’s rich coming from someone who is wearing an Armani jacket,” Max stuck out his tongue.

“It was a gift!” Rafael said, furiously chewing on his chicken.

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked.

LMAO

Max: What even-

Max: Can shadowhunters get high on iratzes lol

CAN THEY???

David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!”

MOOD

PLEASE RAFAEL AND MAGNUS ARE LIKE "About time"

SAME THOUGH

“David is what you get if Dad and Uncle Jace and Uncle Jem had a baby.”

STOP NO

“Oh,” Max said. “Uh, David and I…We are dating.”

Dad choked on his coffee. “Excuse me?”

Bapak chuckled next to him. “Of course you didn’t know.”

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?”

“There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!”

There's alec. Yup

OH MY GOD NOT THE SEX TALK

good thing i had wattpad I MEAN-

“Kissing?” dad gaped. “On the mouth???”

“Um, where else would we kiss?” Max asked incredulously.

“Well, actually,” Bapa cleared his throat. “There are many ways you can enjoy-”

IM CACKLING

And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life.

Max decided he would rather get attacked by a hoard of dragon demons than sit through it any longer

“You guys know we have something called the internet, right?” Max demanded.

“Well, the internet can have mixed messages,” Bapak sniffed. “We on the other hand have real life experien-”

“Magnus!” dad looked red in the face.

“Fine,” Bapak sighed. “Now moving on to the importance of lubrication and-”

“I’m begging you to stop,” Max groaned.

THE NOISES WHICH LEFT MY MOUTH ARE NOT OK TO BE MAKING AT 3 30 AM

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.”

HE'S SO DRAMATIC

“Well,” dad said carefully. “David is…”

“French?” Max asked.

i blame my sleep deprived ass for laughing at this

next thing i know someone's being tortured and im laughing because i dont have sleep in my system

Max honey...

listen to him

i for one, dont want a repeat of pg 511 cols

oh he's finding out about the incident

that's what i call it

Max thought of all the stories he had heard then. The one of the warlock who killed people who he could bring back his dead girlfriend. The one about a nephilim mother who paired up with prince of hell to bring back her dead son.

oh yeah...

shudder

They called it The Jem effect.

AYYYYY

It was true. In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual.

very very valid. have a good day sir

AWW MAX DIDNT KNOW HE COULD BLUSH

you know it's a sign ive been watching b99 too much that i was imagining mina talking like gina...

pls send help

ALSO MINA BESTEST SDCHJDFVYDYUGFYUGFVDYVFD

“Can we not talk about my boyfriend’s sperm, please?”

im surprised my parents havent woken up by the sound i let out

BUT HEY THE DOOR'S CLOSED SO

SUGGENS MINA

“I’m hearing an inflated sense of self-importance,” he heard Ragnor call from the bathroom. “Is Magnus here?”

“Just the spawn,” Max called back.

THE SPAWN BYE-

“He is married to the Consul!” Tessa chuckled. “And one of his sons is a shadowhunter.”

“It’s still very bad for our reputation,” Ragnor grumbled. “He is too close with shadowhunters.”

“You are the headmaster of Scholomance!” Catarina said incredulously. “You teach nephilim! Even though you don’t need a job!”

“I was coerced!” Ragnor huffed. “Manipulated by the children of the angel.”

really ragnor?

The grin disappeared and Ragnor buried his face on Catarina’s shoulder. “I can’t go through this again, Cat! Not again!”

“So much for not taking up after his father, huh?” Catarina chuckled and looked at him. “That’s nice, Max. We are happy for you.”

“We are not!” Ragnor said in a muffled voice.

RAGNOR DJHDCUHUKIHDVVFDDB

OOOO MAX DIDNT KNOW ABOUT CAMILLE

a kind of endless love...

dont make me cry

“I know you are worried, love,” Tessa’s voice was a whisper. “You are worried about surviving after David. You are worried about your own heart. But you should never let that fear stop you from finding love. Because love is what sustains us immortals. It keeps us alive. When you love a mortal, you love them forever. You might not remember all the memories. The colour of their eyes or the sound of their voice. But you will remember the love. You will carry that love inside you forever. It does not make you weak or fragile. It makes you stronger. And you will forever be grateful for it.”

my eyeballs are too tired to cry

stop it

THEY SAID I LOVE YOU

I FEEL LIKE A PROUD MOM

bitch you hate children wtf-

Max laughed. “I’m going to kill dad for making us do this. God, this is so weird!”

better get it done now

HE'S DAVID'S FOREVER

dont do this to me at 4 am

“You should two should some spend time together. Get to know each other and all of that,” Max suggested with a smile. “Maybe you can bond over archery or something.”

“I’m pretty sure he would use me for target practice,” David mumbled.

“Don’t be ridiculous, David!” Max said incredulously. “My father doesn’t need target practice!”

At this point, a David and alec scene isn't a want its a NEED

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do.

me throughout life

max Rafael isn't the one smoking-

OH MY GOD MY DAD JUST CAME TO CHECK ON ME THE WAY I SLAMMED MY LAPTOP

“Also tell him to stop smoking!” Max pointed out seriously. “It’s not good for his health! Especially with all the mundane illnesses going on.”

“I know, Max,” dad sighed heavily and blinked. “I mean, I’ll talk to him. For sure.”

Alec if anything happens to you...just know ill raise hell

“I don’t want easy,” David smiled. “I want you.”

IT'S 4 AM DUDE

AYYY THE SHANGHAI SHADOW MARKET

CELESTIAL PALACE

“Dad? The Consul? That dad?” David looked surprised and relieved all at once. “Oh my god, he doesn’t hate me!”

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.”

of course, he did

oh my god SLEEP. there is so much to do tomorrow dying...my grammar was really bad and I don't have what it takes to use Grammarly's corrections except for the ones it's already doing as type.

this chapter had my heart BURSTING!! AHHHHHHH

the talk was so important I'm so glad they took care of that. ok imma head to bed now BYEE

Eeeeeee this was a lot sfkjdfkd I hope you are okay. Get some sleep next time or I will call the police.

Thank you as always for reading, reacting and supporting 💚

#lbaf

11 notes · View notes

imlostinsantacarla · 4 years

Text

(a/n: to the anon that requested this, i’m so sorry this took me a million years to complete and post! i hope you find these and you enjoy them, thanks for requesting! - admin kat 🌙❣)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Felix with a Human s/o that’s Afraid of Turning Headcanons:

° your fear of being changed into a vampire is definitely going to be an issue for felix. i mean, the man wants to literally spend forever with you and will not allow you to stay mortal. now that he’s found you, his mate, he genuinely would not be able to live without you.

° also, being a human in volterra is literally unheard of (apart from all the biancas a.k.a the secretaries) and there’re a lot of vampires prowling around the place so there’s a 110% chance that you could get bit or killed.

° which btw is a huge fear of felix’s. he wouldn’t forgive himself if you got killed by a vampire who fed on you or harmed you in any way. he’d literally rip them to pieces and burn them in two seconds flat. he’s not fucking around.

° it would be challenging for even him to not want to feed on you bc you smell tasty af lmaoo.

° but on a real note, your blood smells really good to him and he really doesn’t want to kill you.

° also, he’s a part of the guard, so he’s got a job to attend to, which he can’t do when he’s worried you’ll die every two seconds.

° when you first arrived in volterra he literally didn’t leave your side for 3 whole months, even when aro and the crew™ summoned him. he took you with him. alec and jane may have almost mistaken you for a snack and demetri struggled to hold him back from ripping the twins to shreds. fun times man! like y’all laugh about it now (minus felix who’s still mad af)

° whenever you get sick, he brings up changing you in 0.3 seconds.

° “you know if you’d let me change you, you’d never get sick.”

° “it’s just a cold, felix. get a grip.”

° “how can i get a grip when you’re so fragile? you know there’s no cure for the cold, right?”

° a lot of arguments ensue from the topic of changing you. felix takes this personally and begins to think that you believe he’s nothing but a monster. which he technically is and is a part of why you don’t want to turn.

° arguments often get heated between you two and felix has to walk away before they get too heated because without meaning to he could hurt you. as i said before, you’re fragile. like he doesn’t want to hurt you btw!

° even though he argues with you over your mortality, he adores a lot of things about it: like how your heart speeds up when he kisses you (lmaoo it stopped one time and he panicked bc he thought you died), he adores watching you sleep, how you need to eat three meals a day, etc.

° “i swear to god if you bring up me changing one more time i will shove my foot so far up your a-”

° boii is horny af though bc he can’t even get with you sexually bc he’d snap you in half.

° demetri teases tf out of him about it. you deffo join in

° like he eye fucks you now, which only makes you horny and now you’re suffering too.

° he’s frustrated also bc he can’t help to get you off either bc again he could literally kill you.

° felix doesn’t have much patience either, so if you don’t come to a decision he probably will make it for you or he’ll demand to know why you’re so afraid to change.

° also sexual tension™

° if you take too long deciding he’s going to just change you bc he’s savage af and kinda selfish. he’d rather you be mad at him for all eternity for changing you than have you die.

° but also he loves you and wants to respect your choices? so there’s a lot of turmoil over it, but i believe that his desire to spend forever with you would win.

° maybe you’re afraid of the pain, unclear of the whole process, etc.

° “what if i’m unlucky and i don’t make it through the process?”

° “that’s ridiculous! it works every time.”

° “okay... but what if i go on a murderous rampage-”

° “we have a process in place to teach newborns how to control their thirst.”

° “okay, okay! i totally understand that. but what if i end up being so out of control that i reveal the secret of vampires to humans? won’t i be killed then.”

° “that’s impossible, i won’t let that happen.”

° you’re kinda frustrated at this point bc for every inquiry of skepticism you have, he’s got an answer prepared.

° felix at some point begins to wonder if you feel the mate bond as deeply as he does. you feel an immense pull towards him, it’s unreal. you’re just afraid.

° “but wouldn’t you like me to fuck you?”

° “seriously?! in front of everyone?”

° “oh, we hear you guys argue about this fifty times a day. it’s nothing new, y/n.” demetri would guffaw.

° lmao felix literally brings that up so often in front of others you’re beginning to get immune to it.

° strong boii™ doesn’t want you to be turned by anyone else but him. so like he’ll practice to get the hang of it bc god forbid if he killed you-

° i mean, in the end you choose to allow him to turn you bc what would be better than spending forever with felix?

° “i swear to god, if you kill me i’m gonna come back from the grave and light you on fire...”

° “i won’t.”

° “you know i’ll be right here during the whole process, i won’t leave your side. and when you wake up, i’ll be the there too.”

° that honestly gives you so much comfort and even makes you smile.

° which gives him confidence too bc you trust him enough to do this when he could literally KILL YOU

° the process goes as great as it can go and like after you feel like you can fight god which felix has to remind you that you cANT’ JUST DEMAND TO FIGHT EVERY VAMPIRE YOU SEE WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT

° it’s good that you chose to get turned bc he was about to do it regardless lmaoo. (i know i’ve said this fifty times already but i’m not kidding boii really would’ve done it)

° y’all are the most chaotic couple, like aro and crew™ are entertained but also mildly very terrified.

° y’all fucked.. A LOT... just sayin

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

please like, reblog and follow for more!

requests: open!

#felix #felix imagines #felix headcanons #felix x reader #felix volturi #felix volturi imagines #felix volturi headcanons #felix volturi x reader #twilight #twilight imagines #twilight saga #twilight saga imagines #twilight felix #twilight felix imagines #hope you enjoyed #admin kat

242 notes · View notes

kira-7 · 4 years

Text

Do we like... Hold hands now?

Most of the time, when babies are afraid, they tend to hold their mama and/or papa's hand to ask them help and have support. Peter saw this scene in every movie, even in his shows, when a fake vampire hissed at the audience and babies screamed and cried for help and sometimes he smelled piss, tsk! That's disgusting! Why the fuck were children so emotional, or better: why were their parents so fucking stupid to let their children saw his shows?!

He noticed Charlie and his girlfriend holding hands when they faced Jerry, he had a lump in his throat and felt his hands itchy but he justified his upset mood as a bloody desire to kill that real bloodsucking, to revenge his parents and he tightened his grip on his gun and killed all the fucking vampires. His fear was gone but the gun could not hold Peter's hand to reassure him.

A couple of years passed and a new enemy came in front of the vampire hunter, a member of an Italian clan, the Volturi, but not a simple one, of course fucking not, but one of the three most important members, with long dark hair and a couple of ruby eyes, his stench smelled of death and blood.

"Very well. I heard of you, Peter Vincent. You killed that unpleasant vampire years ago."

"What the hell do you want!," he shouted while he looked for something to hold and toss towards that fucking monster.

That vampire observed him with a strange light in his eyes, his mouth was a bit open, and he slowly rubbed his hands with anticipation.

"Just to thank you for eliminate a real problem. That guy was a nuisance as a pebble in the shoe."

"Oh yeah! Yeah, yes, of course--" Peter nodded and still searched on the table and he found something rough and rectangular, good!, "I-I did it with all my pleasure! Let me say how my plan worked!," then, he grabbed that thing - a book? - and throwed it to that vampire to run off the hotel's suite, even if he was wearing his black silk bathrobe.

Alas, a cold and marble grip stopped him, Peter barely breathed and tried to scratch that hand with zero results; in that moment, when the human thought it was his end, he wished to hold just more time his parents' hands; to his surprise nothing happened, but an annoying feeling of invasion in his memories, as if a stranger could see all his life.

"So it was that young boy, Charlie, to kill Jerry Dandrige, instead you were near to become one of us."

How the fuck did he realize it? Nobody knew what happened in Jerry's house, just the three of them, unless--

"If y-you... Hurted Ch-Charlie or... His girlfriend, I--"

"Dare I say it could be hilarious if you became the same creature that killed your parents."

That was their first meet, that vampire named Aro didn't suck his blood and, Peter learned, he had the power to see through a person's memories with a simple touch, and if it wasn't scary to know that man was a bloodsucker, certainly his ability terrified the illusionist.

_________

At least once a month, Aro got used to visit that human to check if he could pose a threat to his species, but the more Aro saw him the more he desired to know him, and it's totally a bullshit if someone like Peter didn't want a vampire's company; "Don't you have someone else to bust their balls, suck their blood, do vampire things?"

"I'm certain that my beloved brothers can arrange even without my constant support. My presence is required elsewhere away from my home."

"Here?!"

"I assume that amount of liquor makes you more perceptive, my dear."

"Pffft--" Peter smirked at his glass full of alcohol and then glanced with scepticism at his unwanted guest, "You don't say, asshole."

In a millisecond, Aro was near him and took off the glass, he could eventually broke it, but he didn't want to smell like a drunk peasant.

"Bring it back!"

"I'm afraid not."

"Bring--" the vampire hunter tried to reach the glass, "That fucking glass--" another failed attempt, "Back, you dirty old bastard!"

"And I may presume your lovely parents didn't teach you how to respect others."

"Fuck off bloodsucker!"

In a fool effort to take that glass back, or attach the vampire only with his bare hands, Peter run towards Aro but the illusionist was thrown against a wall, his back and his head ached, the human cursed all the monster being; Aro without any problem raised Peter up, he could listen that fast heartbeat, it called him as a demon tempted an angel to disobey God's plans. That alive jugular vein was pulsating under his fingers, just a bite was necessary and finally Aro could taste that human's luscious blood.

"I can assure you that alcohol is not the answer, my dear boy."

Unfortunately, he didn't want to finish immediately that life and he resumed playing cat and mouse; meanwhile, Peter never gave up, he desperately tried to get that hand off of him, he didn't wish another psychological session from a monster.

"You don't know a fuck about me!," he said looking at the bloodsucker with a threatening look. Aro didn't seem moved, on the contrary, that human was making it even more interesting to his perspective.

"Oh, instead I think I do, my dear Vincent. I know you want adventure, that's why you're here standing in front of me without any hesitation." His free hand caressed Peter's cheek. "You want to rebel like everyone else, like the virile man you want people see you, but with a still fragile and afraid soul," he whispered near the human's ear, while the vampire hunter swallowed with difficulty. Aro left a little to observe the reaction of his speech: the man in front of him had his eyes closed and his mouth opened as if he wanted to say something that never came.

The vampire leaned and continued to talk calmy, and softly, and temptingly, "You want mystery, passion, and romance... And perhaps even a small piece of..." One of his fingers touched Peter's lips and the man thought of bite it as a warning, to Aro's surprise, that human could make the things more interesting to his perspective and the vampire smiled at this conclusion, "Danger."

_________

Peter was not into those... Ngh... Affection demonstrations... Cuddles, holding hands, hugs... No, absolutely not, they're not things for him, he wasn't a child anymore, he didn't need all those fancy, sugar candies and various sweets, yuck! However, one day during his tour in Europe, he was drunk, very drunk, totally drunk, and he started to pick a fight with someone, he had no idea who he was, Peter was sure he's a vampire and he's not in a friendly relationship with the Volturi. Something said by this man drove the illusionist crazy and he started that fight; that bloodthirsty bastard was about to break his neck when he was screaming because of a strange pain, what the hell was happening?!

"I have to correct what I said a while ago. The amount of alcohol makes you impulsive and without a shred of reason."

Oh, great Jesus Fucking Christ! He really needed to listen that irritating voice! Peter turned and saw Aro with two others vampires, a female and a male, wow! He didn't know he'd stumbled on dead bloodsuckers' party! He was fucked!

"Jane, Alec. Please take care of our... Beloved friend, while I will think of the naive human."

"'xcuse me?! How the hell did you call me, asshole?"

Aro didn't listen him, and neither did Jane or Alec, he picked Peter up and led him in a few seconds to his hotel room, gently laying him on the bed and ready to go away.

"Hey! I didn't finish yet! Did I ever, before, just once, say you can help me? I had the situation under control."

"Oh, of course, dear boy, until that vampire couldn't break your neck and drink your blood."

"... Is that sarcasm?"

"I prefer to call it irony, Vincent."

Peter hummed something to not call him with his surname and when Aro was ready to leave, the vampire hunter stopped him again.

"Where the fuck do you go."

Aro was answering, but Peter asked him to stay because it was so hot and he didn't know how to lower the room's temperature, with too much surprise in Aro: since when a prey asked to their natural predator to stay with them for the night?

"Young Vincent, you don't know you are signing your death."

"Neither you do, marble corpse!"

Aro couldn't help but smirked at that appellation, and he asked with so much interest and curiosity what Peter intended; the man showed him a stake under his pillow and smiled maliciously, "It was blessed with holy water from an archbishop, a friend of our wonderful Pope. Ah! Checkmate, you bastard!"

Aro saw Peter quietly and without saying a single word, then he looked up looking for the strength to not laugh coarsely, he had manners after all, and approached the human: he grabbed Peter's wrist and guided him to his chest, there where it was his dead heart, "Well, you can use it right now, young Vincent."

In a few seconds, Peter stopped to smile and his expression became uncertain, then afraid, and after that a little pissed, "Don't you even give me the fun of killing you?!"

"Will you enjoy my death?"

Peter frowned, the closeness to that vampire was dangerous, and certainly not from the fear of being bitten, his cheeks were red, he was breathing heavily, all of that was because of the alcohol he drank, yes! It was all its fault!

"Don't you answer, Peter?"

A lock of Aro's long black hair caressed Peter's face, the vampire could feel the adrenaline, the expectation of his human and he didn't want to disappoint both of them; the vampire hunter wasn't sure if it's wiser to look at the vampire's lips or his eyes, Peter's grip on the stake gave way and the man thought it was better to tighten those fucking black hair, stood up and took possession of that mouth.

Savoring the moment, Aro's other hand began to caress and interlace his fingers with Peter's hand, but it was interrupted by the man.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"You don't have to worry, I have my gloves, I can't--"

"Just..." Peter breathed in and watched something on his left, "Not my hands."

"They're not well cared, in fact you have calluses, but what's wrong with them?"

That human was a tangle of emotions that was hard to break.

"Don't-Hold my hands, ok? Is it quite difficult to understand it?"

Aro observed Peter, he preferred to not look back, then the vampire kissed the human's forehead, "All right, then. I wish you good night, my dear Vincent. I'll stay with you to make sure no other vampire will try to behead you."

_________

"Ok, this is the last time!," Peter, quite angry, said shortly after risking a heart attack, and he was young, very young, "Why the fuck are you coming-Here!-When you understood months ago!-That I'm not a danger to your stupid and lousy species! Beca-Because I think y-y-yu-you are quite clever to understand that I'm just an illusionist! I killed that bloodsucker because he killed my parents! And tried to kill my friend Charlie, he turned his girlfriend into a bloodthirsty corpse, I was risking to become one of... Mhg! Ahhh! Why the fuck I'm talking to you about this... Anyway, g-get out from here. I don't want to see your impassive and stoic face anymore. Get away."

Aro continued to look at him, that incomprehensible smile still on his face, then he took a breath, rubbed his hands and walked in the direction of the human, "Young, young, Vincent. I'm pretty sure my stupid and lousy species, as you like to call us, is safe with you. Or at least I don't consider you so ingenuous to come to Italy, with a couple of totally useless weapons, and try to kill hundreds of vampires all alone, am I wrong?"

Peter denied with a nod of his head, he absolutely didn't want Aro to find out that he had thought of doing something like that. "Th... Then... Why..." he had not the strength to continue his question and sighed, looking away and turned his back to that vampire.

"Listen... I-I don't think... This... Would work..." the man turned again with an expression of despair and frustration, "Look at us! We... Oh man!," he used the plural now!, he was fucked, "You are a vampire and I--"

"I can understand the difference between us, my dear."

"Then you too think that this is a totally crazy idea!," Peter approached Aro, to let him know he was serious, for the first time, or second, he didn't remember well, what he was sure of was that a few times in his life he was serious, and this situation had to be inserted in those few memories; the proximity of the two bodies almost made the man go mad, his instinct told him to take advantage and kiss the vampire, his spirit of survival screamed him to run away because one single bad word and he could die, while his mind intimated him to remain calm and resolve the problem, but the illusionist couldn't, he couldn't, he just... Leaned his forehead on that bloodsuc--Aro's shoulder, and closed his eyes... Peter didn't mind the smell of blood or the feeling of resting upon something hard like a stone.

The vampire tried to not listen that heartbeat, or to not breathe, Peter's smell could lead him into a black tunnel where he couldn't control his insatiable thirst, and perhaps for the first time in his long life Aro would regretted to take away the life of a human being; young Vincent was right, they couldn't be happy together, both of them were so melodramatic, or so masochist, then a rude and a bit gentle touch took his hand, removed the glove that covered it and laced their fingers together, Aro smirked.

"Do we... Like hold hands now?," he asked with an amused and teasing note in his voice.

Peter didn't admit he was smiling too, "Maybe... Or maybe this is just a way to grab your hand, so it's impossible for you to move and I can take the chance to definitely stab you," he answered with a trembling voice, finished the sentence with a laugh and, after that, he bit his lip... How in the Bloody Hell was it possible for him to feel safe near a vicious vampire? This was unnatural, insane...

With so much caution, Aro raised slowly his other hand to touch Peter's back.

"You can use your fucking power on me," the vampire hunter whispered, making Aro really worried.

"I don't see the necessity to do something like this now."

"Just do it."

After some minutes, Peter felt again that sensation of invasion inside his mind, but he didn't care for once; he only hoped Aro was reliving the moments they had passed together, the way they fucked so hard against the wall after he bit Aro's thumb, the way he felt when they were kissing upon that hotel's bed, or the many times he masturbated thinking of that vampire (somehow, it could be quite romantic, not many people jerked off thinking about one single person, he would love it if someone did the same for him). Instead, Aro visited Peter's childhood, that little boy so brave, so happy, and a little afraid of things that usually were scary to children, but his parents gave him their hands to hold, to make him felt safe and loved; Aro saw the moment when his parents were killed, he could ear his Mamas and Papas said between sobs and tears while he tried to hold their hands, but they were cold and motionless; the vampire visited the many times in which he refused to hold hands, or when he mocked when he saw that gesture between two people, the envy and jealousy he used to attack them all...

"Are you finish? I don't want you see all my life, it isn't interesting for someone who lived for how long? Millennia?"

"Centuries, to be precise."

"Oh yeah, of course. So--" he turned his head to look at Aro's profile, "Did you see it?"

Peter never mentioned what he talked about and Aro never asked, so the vampire's answer was a simple "I did."

The two men stood there for a lot of time, when Peter got close to Aro's neck, he shifted the collar of his jacket and tried to bite it, surprising the vampire beside him, humans could be very astonishing in their total naivety.

"Shit! There's no fun doing it if it's like you're biting a disgusting piece of marble! Ugh! This is useless!"

"Do that again."

"What? Are you insane?!"

Aro stared with his hungry red eyes at Peter's browns, "Your urge to bite me is insane, I can barely feel your teeth. But it's so fascinating to see a butterfly acts like a spider."

Peter couldn't hide the blush on his cheeks, "Fuck you!," he cursed.

"I'd rather be me to penetrate you, young Vincent."

"Fuck me, for Hell's sake, fuck-me! You need to update your vocabulary if you want to keep up with the times, old bastard!"

"And you should learn some good manners by seeing the obscene ways you express yourself."

"Then, next time you will give me a copy of Galateo."

"No, it's too sophisticated for you, you need a simpler version to begin with."

"Are you saying that I'm stupid, thou withered white-livered codpiece?"

"Quite the contrary, I'm just stating that you're not ready for a book like Il Galateo, and insulting me as if you are Shakespeare doesn't make you high born, young Vincent."

They stared at each other, until their mouths met halfway, Aro slowly and Peter urgently. They were both fool: none of them wanted to point out that they had arranged to meet again, although they both agreed that they should stop seeing each other; instead, they preferred to kiss more and reach the bed as soon as possible, where they would give vent to the libido that consumed both of their bodies and souls. It could have been a dangerous encounter, they both knew it from the first time they touched each other, but they both loved the risk, they both love mystery, passion, and romance... And perhaps even a small piece of... Danger.

#Aro volturi #Peter vincent #Vincturi #vampire x vampire hunter au #Made by kira #michael sheen #David tennant #Twilight #fright night #fanfiction

45 notes · View notes

vaguely-concerned · 4 years

Text

Mass Effect Initiation thoughts

In short: this book is actually really good, N.K. Jemisin is, as we all know, an excellent writer! It’s the story of how Cora met Alec Ryder and joined the Initiative, and it has SO much good good SAM content and I am full of emotions.

- poor cora is so continually out of her depth, I want to give her a hug. the points made about her in the main game are true though -- she is not ready for leadership yet. (and that’s fine! she does much better with something or someone to belong to and that is so Valid. she’s an honorable Loyal Knight!!! one of the sexiest things to be, as we all know)

I think I’ll actually like her a lot more on this new playthrough now -- she must have been quite hard to write compellingly in the game because at the end of the day she’s really very straightforward and honest and loyal, it’s quite hard to uh ‘hide’ things in her character

- alec ryder deadass installed an unspeakably illegal (and did I mention experimental?) AI in cora’s head with no informed consent whatsoever. d A D

(when cora is like ‘are you actually going to another galaxy because they don’t have laws to stop you from committing fully to your craziness in public’ and alec is like *...maybe so meme* fadsfhkj he does literally say ‘this is why I’m going to another galaxy’ out loud at a later point of the book)

- this book is giving me the good good SAM content ;________; I love SAM so much, the scene where cora thinks she’s dying and SAM talks to her? when cora asks SAM if he’s okay being connected to her because if he’s sentient that matters to her (cora is a Good)? SAM explicitly having inherited alec ryder’s sense of humour and sarcasm and alec a) doesn’t know how it happened, b) distantly thinks he should probably track that process down and turn it off (and never does) and c) regrets all his life choices when his robot kid mercilessly snarks at him and questions his life choices? please bioware give me an me:a sequel with more of this stuff I’ll eat it up with a spoon

- body diverse asari! HUGE BUFF ASARI! Short stocky beautiful matriarch asari with one krogan and one turian trophy husband fast asleep in her bed in the background of a vidcall fkdjshfkjsdlhfkjsdah god I love mass effect with my entire heart

- OLD LADY INFORMATION BROKER VOLUS WORKING OUT OF ILLIUM!!!! this is not a drill what the fUCK this is the coolest shit

- fasdklhfsjkdalfhsdjk okay in Alec Ryder POV: “I don’t think [Cora] likes me very much.” Which probably meant she had good judgement. AFLSKJDHGJSDKF ALEC

he has a weird flip-flopping sense of self -- he is uncompromisingly (one might even say... astoundingly arrogantly) secure in his own intellectual superiority and that most other people are idiots not to be trusted and that he needs to do things himself because others would mess it up, and yet there’s this clear seam of self loathing around basically everything else about himself too. (You know who he reminds me of, in a more military and less visibly anxious way? Rodney McKay. Alec Ryder is like a slightly unfortunate outcome for a McShep lovechild. I think we just figured out why I have sort of a soft spot for him even though he’s a certifiable dick lol)

- this book really makes it hit home that cora grew up incredibly isolated and dirt poor. I’ve seen some people say her backstory is all sunshine and daisies compared to kaidan and especially jack’s, but honestly her background is complicated and fucked up enough that I’m just like ‘shit baby :(’ all the time

- well I have successfully solved the puzzle about whether alec ryder is an idealist or not; he absolutely is. a grouchy, bad-tempered one with no people skills, but an idealist nonetheless. alec ryder is in fact a storm of 150000 emotions in a trenchcoat, barely held in check by a thin fragile outer shell of iron lol, SAM was absolutely right to say that he was mostly governed by his feelings. (and I mean if anyone would know it’d be SAM I guess). I found some of it sort of sweet actually: he reflects in passing that one of the biggest reliefs of no longer being in the alliance is that he’ll never have to risk other people’s lives again. he fundamentally wants to build something good to help people live and be happy instead of destroying things. (he also is quite bad at predicting how other people could corrupt and use his innovations precisely to be destructive b/c he doesn’t think that’s the ~*logical*~ thing to do, so... y’know haha, maybe it’s good he went to another galaxy, the milky way could not contain his chaos)

also he thinks a lot about his wife, even though she’s been dead for years at this point. o u c h (she truly does seem to have been a tether for him in so many ways though -- like a tie to the real world/normalcy/possibly sanity, and that’s a bit how he still evokes her)

additionally: alec ryder did fistfight at the very least one dude in the line of bureaucratic duty, and perhaps more, enough for SAM to have a list of warning signs ready and at hand jdfsklfhasdjf. he did, very much, throw a dude through a table. (at least it’s implied said dude was an asshole) I LOVE that alec’s SAM is the snarkiest iteration we’ve seen and that he’s perfectly willing to call the old man out on his bullshit (alec stresses that SAM is supposed to do what he says at the end of the day, but his SAM is also less subservient and more willing to argue and discuss things than any other we get to see -- and this is of course the SAM Ryder inherits, but I don’t think SAM is as confident in being able to read the PC correctly until a bit further into the game and the twin is of course a different person who’ll respond to different things so he’s not quite as... blunt? I guess? in confronting them about things. (the whole concept is just! so! interesting!!) anyway I feel like all of this says something about alec’s parenting style, for better or for worse haha. he sort of tries to be authoritarian but his children (well canonically at least Sara, she references having yelled at him a lot over the years) aren’t afraid to fight back or scared of the consequences of disagreeing, so I get the distinct feeling his temper never flared violently like that with his family at all, I think he’s more prone to just pulling away in disapproval.)

- I enjoy how casually diverse this book is -- Jemisin has done such a good job making sure especially the human characters are from different backgrounds and places, as they would be lore-wise in the Mass Effect universe, though the games often skew unfortunately white. (andromeda much less so than the trilogy, though)

- my heart. is so so soft for the fact that a huge reason for cora to join the initiative is how much she bonds with SAM-E. and I am so sad for her because she just wants someone or something who’ll stay, something that won’t disappear on her without closure like her parents; she’s so insecure and scared under her competence (and WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T SHE BE holy shit her parents just. weren’t there one day after she left home so she wouldn’t accidentally crush their ship with her untrained biotics and kill them all). and she chooses alec and his dream. and then alec goes and FUCKING DIES at the first opportunity Y____________Y alternate universe alec please drink your victor sullivan juice and survive, all these dumb children need you

- I am so surprised about how much fond respect alec seems to have for cora and how quickly he developed it. I suppose he has a harder time with his own children because it’s closer to home? he is a complicated man lol, this last part of the book where he shows her the ark and everything is weirdly sweet. again I think he has the potential to be a good dad somewhere in there and that just makes it so much worse that he wasn’t. (also he staunchly considers himself still a married man. god help me)

they’ve both grown to honestly love their sams T________T fml. (well alec has sort of bound up all of himself, the things he loves and their future in SAM, so it’s a bit more complicated but my point still stands) alec advocating for a consensual synthesis is very heartfelt and convincing; you really want to believe him.

cora seen through someone else’s eyes is also SO AMAZING!!! after this whole book in her head and she feels so flailing and uncertain and adrift and other people naturally view her completely differently. I especially like alec picking up on her not talking a lot. (I think this is why she responds so well to SAM, who’ll be there always and can be in her head. I wish this part of cora was more evident in the game, the fact that she has this sibling-like connection to SAM seems very important. sequel where both SAM and Ryder grow closer to becoming her actual family? please? I keep begging for ME:A2 into an empty aching void haha)

- alec ‘I don’t have time to die’ ryder still talking about everyone else being idiots as he’s slowly catching fire while saving SAM fhdjfhsdlfhasdhlfsjd he is an asshole but it is hard not to stan

- nO SAM-E D:D:D: oh well at least he’s still alive within SAM, in a way?

- hey. hey you know what’s fun. alec tries to use his last words and last thoughts to ask cora to tell the kids about ellen being alive this time too. haha. ha. fuck

he consistently goes out thinking of his family despite all his bullshit and I’m not okay

- CORA IS A PERFECT BODYGUARD/SECOND IN COMMAND AND I’M EMOTIONAL

- alec is. surprisingly afraid to hurt people emotionally? he keeps putting off telling cora the bad news about SAM-E, to SAM’s stated disapproval lol (I must repeat again: I love SAM so so much). this supports my thesis that in his personal life he’s avoidant rather than confrontational/aggressive. (professionally... again, he did very much throw a man through a table)

- man I hope we some day get SAM being this comfortably close and sarcastic with Ryder too. thinking about SAM-E and the small differences between him and uh SAM ‘prime’ it really must have been a huge thing for him too to become someone else, especially after the last person died like that. and he kind of has no choice but to experience that loss and death intimately. (now that I think about it that’s. fucked up, man. he literally felt alec go like it happened to himself.)

If I were to summarize the differences between the SAMs we have seen, cora’s SAM-E seems younger, more exuberant, shyer and more -- what’s a non-shitty word for needy haha? it’s very firmly established that cora longs to feel needed, so this makes perfect sense. alec’s SAM is blunter, snarkier and more prone to questioning things, and hilariously is sort of alec’s emotional intelligence. (probably serves a similar role to what ellen used to, actually. ow) scott/sara’s SAM feels more worried/focused -- which also makes sense; he’s just experienced losing his person/pathfinder, in a real way he’s also recently orphaned and must be Extremely aware that he now has an enormous responsibility, not only what he was built for but for what remains of alec’s family. ...poor SAM

(come to think of it I guess one vibe I get from in-game SAM is a little bit of ’harried and anxious yet loving and responsible uncle’ hahaha)

- so at this point alec knew cora could never be pathfinder after him, and he never told her. *accumulation of asshole points continues, though I suspect this might have come from a place of not wanting to hurt her again (b/c he’s the only one who has a right to know these important things amirite)* but I’m also strangely touched that the reason he’s hesitant to involve his children in the whole thing isn’t that he doesn’t have faith in them, it’s that he doesn’t want to burden their lives with something so heavy, a burden he created. can you just imagine... if this man had managed to take the time to explain himself, his motivations and his feelings to his children just once. just one fUCKING time. am I laughing am I crying I honestly don’t know

- this book makes me ache all over for the potential of Andromeda. and I don’t think it’s too late to salvage it either. I know a sequel probably won’t happen, at least not any time soon, but... *sits by rainy window like a wife wistfully wondering if her husband will return from sea*

#mass effect #mass effect andromeda #meta #man I wish they could have gotten *this* cora across more in the game - it's recognizably the same person but she's shown better here #and also yes I am just a one person 'bring alec ryder back and give us some closure' cheerleading squad right now lol

13 notes · View notes

marquisoforder · 5 years

Text

Hey y’all so for my 400 follower celebration @theredscrolls asked for Banecourt angst and it took me forever to finish this but here’s some uncalled for angst to celebrate! A little heads up: Its set during City of Lost Souls and it’s about what led to the page that shall not be named.

“Love of my life, you have hurt me.

Broken my heart and now you leave me.

Love of my life, can’t you see?

Oh bring it back, bring it back,

Don’t take it away from me

Because you don’t know,

What it means to me.”

- Love of my life by Queen

Camille hadn’t changed at all.

Magnus knew it was physically impossible for a vampire to change with age but he had hoped that somehow time would have run its course and made Camille a little bit softer, a little less cynical or at least, a little less bitchy.

But even the unrelenting ravaging of time had not been able to chip away at any of those things about Camille and Magnus blamed himself for holding out hope even after everything she had done to him.

“Cozy little place you have here.” Camille was eyeing his apartment with the idle curiosity of a visitor at a museum who was only mildly interested in what was around them. She was seated on one of Magnus’s sofa with all the ease and grace of a highborn baroness and cut a striking figure in her little red dress, all lithe limbs and alabaster skin. He noticed her eyes stop at the coffee machine on the island a little longer and a knowing smile stretched across her otherwise cold features and somehow managed to make her look even colder.

“Yes small talk this, small talk that. Now can you please tell me why you are here so we can get this over with?”

He felt bone tired as he stood near the kitchen counter, his third coffee for the evening in his hand. He had spent consecutive nights this week trying to discover a way to find Jace and consecutive days trying to convince Alexander that he had fair reasons behind everything he did. There had been an invisible barrier building up between him and the shadowhunter for a while now and he was too afraid to consider what it might result in. All in all, Camille could not have come at a worse time.

“Why Magnus it almost sounds like you are not happy to see me.”

Camille’s eyes flashed mischievously and for a moment Magnus was reminded of an evening long ago in the Sanctuary of the London Institute where the vampire and the warlock have had their share of fun tormenting stuck up shadowhunters with idle flirting. But that warlock had been young and naïve and easily distracted by shiny packages. This one right here, right now, thought he knew better.

“Just get to it Camille.” He sighed, leaning back against the counter and absentmindedly swirling what little coffee was left in his mug.

“Very well then,” The vampire smiled with a demented sort of glee like that of a cat about o knock a glass off a table. “Your shadowhunter boy, the blue eyed one, I have an inkling that he wants to murder you.”

It caught him like a fucking blow to the chest.

But he was four hundred years old and knew better. Knew better than to trust Camille. Knew better than to show her vulnerability.

“Okay. Thank you for your concern,” He spared a bright smile that conveyed nothing. “If that’s all, the door’s that way.”

Camille stared at him blankly for a moment and shook her head. “I’m serious, Magnus.” She said, standing up and moving closer to him, the expression on her face alarmingly honest.

But Magnus was not going to be fooled. Not again.

“So am I.” He said, “I’m not going to trust someone who’s petty and jealous and wants to see my relationship ruined.”

Camille sighed and shrugged but did not move away from him; Instead she leaned back against the counter next to him with a look of mild annoyance etched onto her features.

“Fine! Call me anything you want, call me all the names in the world but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m telling the truth.”

“I’m not calling you names, I’m describing you.” Magnus offered with another amicable but bland smile. “You have no proof; it’s just the word of a woman who had lied to me before against the word of a man who had never once lied to me ever.”

“A man who has had trouble dealing with the fact that one day his hair will turn gray and his skin would wrinkle and he’d wither away but you’d remain as young as ever.”

She added nonchalantly, without even sparing him a glance. And Magnus felt his heart freeze for one long, unending second.

“Look, I agree, I’m jealous and petty but I have never wished you ill Magnus.” Her voice was softer this time; the usual edge of disdain having disappeared into thin air. “And see, I did have proof.”

Magnus remained silent, his eyes focused on the mug in his hand but not seeing it at all. It felt as if someone was twisting a knife into his lungs. It was the worst news and Camille being the one to bring it to him was just the Universe kicking him when he was already down.

“How do you know?”

“He came to me.” She didn’t sound like she was lying. “Your pretty blue eyed boy, he wanted me to tell him a way to steal your immortality, he couldn’t bear to see himself aging when you remained young forever.”

“But there is no such way.”

“I told him that much.” There’s a hint of sympathy in her voice and Magnus recoiled inwardly at being subjected to pity by Camille of all people. “He was desperate, honestly. Offered to make a deal with me for the secret.”

“And?”

Camille shrugged. “Well you know me, I’m not above the occasional lie. I offered to help him find a way if he took care of something for me.”

He’s almost too scared to ask, but he wants to know all the same. “What?”

“I wanted him to kill Raphael for me.” Her voice didn’t waver or tremble. “And he agreed.”

The knife in his lungs felt as if it had caught on fire. He desperately tried to spot the lie in her story, but every aspect of it seemed to be perfectly true. If this was indeed a lie, it was so finely crafted that even Magnus could not detect a hint of fraud in it. Alec might be a soft and sincere boyfriend, but before that he was a headstrong shadowhunter and a desperate human. There was no limit to the lengths he might go to get what he wanted. It was a combination deadlier than the Serpent and the Forbidden Fruit.

“I’m sorry.” She offered without much feeling but there’s that softness to her voice again. He had known that from ages long gone, when they were still lovers and they had lain on smooth satin, in dark chambers whispering to each other of things he can no longer care to remember. “I know how it feels to lose someone who means much.”

“Do you now?” He asked in a sudden moment of uncontrollable spite. She had come storming into his life again and ruined something perfect yet again. Some might call his anger and bitterness misplaced but Magnus had all the reasons in the world to say it.

“Yes.” She had the nerve to sound offended. “Yes I do, Magnus. You are not the only person who has loved and lost. Don’t look down on me from that pedestal you have put yourself on.”

“Oh if anyone in this room deserves a fucking pedestal it’s me alright.” He scoffed with a bitterness that seeped from his words like venom. “I have never broken a heart, I have never hurt anyone I have loved, even after everything you did, I’m still here listening to you. So don’t talk to me about looking down on you ‘cause I have every right to!”

“You are soft.” Camille sighs but there’s no insult in her tone. “Even after all these centuries your heart is still fresh and bloody and raw. I don’t think it will ever freeze over completely, maybe it should but I don’t think it ever will.” She turned to him, immersed in thought. “You are soft; Your Alexander is a shadowhunter. You and I both know they don’t know how to deal with fragility. They will ruin it even if they don’t mean to.”

Magnus swallowed against the uneasy knot forming in his throats and turned his eyes to the floor. She was right. He had seen this before countless times but he had hoped they could be different.

“You deserve better,” Camille smiled and stood on her tip toes to place a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Remember that, Magnus. Remember your immortality is a part of you as much as mine is a part of me.” He understood what she didn’t say and she knew that he did. But neither of them found the need to confirm anything out loud. The silence ruled between them for one eternal moment before Magnus nodded, his eyes glued to the stained glass window in front of him.

Camille left. The sun sank over the city line.

Is this Banecourt angst? Or is it Malec angst? Who knows?

(Also sorry it took approximately two millennia for me to get this done.)

#dany celebrates 400 #magnus bane #Camille Belcourt #BaneCourt #Alec Lightwood #Malec #tmi #cols #tsc #Dee's drabbles #queen #love of my life

40 notes · View notes

bytheangell · 5 years

Text

Gallery of Broken Hearts - Part 2

(Read on AO3) (Read Part 1 on Tumblr or AO3)

Maryse arrives at the Institute in record time for someone with no access to portals or a speed rune to activate. She meets little resistance at the entrance - Isabelle intercepts her almost immediately, silencing the Shadowhunter at the door with a single look before ushering her inside. Maryse shrugs off her jacket as they walk now that she’s out of the brisk October air - she never realized how stifling the Institute could be until she was free of it. “Isabelle, what’s going on?” It will help to get some idea of what she’s walking into here. Alec has never been an overly emotional person and the boy she spoke to on the phone sounded so lost, so broken, that he hardly sounded like Alec at all. In fact she’s positive she hasn’t seen him cry since he was probably five or six years old…. Possibly longer. That’s her fault - her failing in not allowing him to feel safe in coming to her when he was hurting. She’s glad that doesn’t hold true now, though she wishes the situation never arose for her to realize it.

“Alec broke up with Magnus,” Isabelle says. “He… by the Angel, Mom, I told him not to. I didn’t think he was going to do it so quickly, I thought I had time to talk to Magnus, to talk Alec out of it…” Isabelle is keeping pace with her mother’s long, determined strides.

“But why? He asked for the ring, he was going to propose , I just don’t understand what happened to change things so drastically, so fast.”

“Let him tell you. It’ll be better coming from him, I think. Just… he’s not doing well. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this upset. He’s trying to put on a brave face but he looks worse every time he disappears for a while then comes back out. I already tried the ‘you fucked up, now fix it’ approach but I think I only made things worse… so try to be supportive, alright?”

It’s an ominous warning, especially considering the frustration she felt after speaking with Magnus that morning. How can Isabelle expect her to be supportive of something that clearly hurts the both of them so much? If neither of them want this, then why is it even up for debate?

They reach his door and Maryse knocks. “Alec? Alec, it’s me.” She goes to turn the door handle and let herself in (he is expecting her, after all), but it doesn’t budge. He locked himself in. She waits for him to come and let her in instead.

“Come in.” He barely cracks the door open before moving away from it again, back into the room. “Close the door,” he adds, sounding wary.

She does as she’s told, immediately noting the curtains drawn closed and the dim lighting once the hallway light disappears behind her. Even so she can see he’s been crying - his eyes are red and swollen, the skin raw from wiping at it too frequently.

It breaks her heart, and she suddenly has no problem finding that sympathy Isabelle encouraged her to have, wrapping him in her arms and holding him tight against her; the moment she does he dissolves into sobs. This is the second time she’s been in this position today, and it hurts worse than the first even though this time she goes into the moment expecting it.

Not that a mother can ever be truly prepared to face the total heartbreak of one of her children, to see a level of pain in their eyes that she wouldn’t wish on her worst enemy.

Alec’s crying stops abruptly and he pulls away with a sniff. She watches his gaze grow confused, brow pinching together for a minute before frowning as his eyes fixate on the dark stains on her dress. She’s suddenly acutely aware of the lingering smell of Magnus’ cologne (or possibly shampoo?) on her from earlier.

“Mom… what were you doing when I called you?”

“I was in the shop,” she replies innocently enough, buying herself an extra moment or two to decide just how much of her morning she wants to share with him. How much would help and how much would hurt, at least until she has a better idea of what happened between him and Magnus the night before.

“He came back to talk to you?” Alec asks, confused, trying to piece together the scene in his head.

Maryse shakes her head and sighs. “He never left. I found him there when I went back to open.”

She waits, watching Alec’s face fall at whatever image of Magnus he pictured in his mind while knowing that whatever Alec’s imagining couldn’t possibly hold a candle to how fragile Magnus actually was, and still is.

“How is he?” Alec asks finally, voice quiet. “How is-- I know I’m supposed to make you feel better, but I’m going to to lie to you. He’s a mess. And so are you. So why don’t you tell me what happened?”

“It’s for the best, you have to believe me. He’ll be better soon. He’ll be fine.” Maryse wonders how many times he repeated those words to himself in the past 12 hours. How many more until he might start to believe them. “I made a deal… a deal with Asmodeus, to get Magnus’ magic back. His condition was that I leave his son, and that Magnus could never know about the deal.”

Maryse watches the way Alec’s expression shifts during the explanation. Some of the sadness fades and is replaced with resolve, with that fierce determination to set things right that she watched him don time and time again during trainings or missions… the face of a soldier hardened against the sting of loss.

She sees her son sacrificing himself once again for the good of someone he cares about, someone he feels responsible for. She watched him do it once before, nearly marrying a woman he didn’t care about - couldn’t care about - for the good of their family. And now, for the good of the man he wishes was his family, he’s calling off not just a marriage but an entire relationship with someone he loves.

Maryse Lightwood is tired of watching her son suffer for the sake of others. She knows it’s in large part because she raised him to shoulder those burdens whenever possible for his siblings and fellow Shadowhunters. These were the beliefs she instilled in him before she realized how wrong they could be to blindly follow… before she saw her son suffer through them time and time again.

“Oh, Alec,” she sighs, reaching for his hands.

“He begged me to stay with him and I walked away.” That resolve breaks again, fresh tears springing to his eyes. “I almost couldn’t do it, but I had to. He needs his magic back...”

“He needs you, too. I know what you told me about the dinner, but… This isn’t what he would’ve wanted, not for either of you.” She gives his hands another squeeze, trying desperately to think of a solution. Some loophole, some middle ground, to fix this before the damage is irreparable. “Last night, while he was helping me at the shop, he told me he wasn’t drinking anymore. That he was trying to get better at adjusting, because he didn’t know what he’d do without you.”

Alec winces, visibly flinching at her words. She doesn’t want to hurt him, that’s far from her intent, but he needs to know. He has to understand exactly what he’s doing before she stands back and watches him see this through.

“When I lost your father, and my runes, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you and Isabelle and Jace-”

“Stop, mom, please. That’s… that’s different. He’s immortal. At least, he will be again, soon enough. He’s been with thousands of people before me and he’ll be with thousands more after me. He’ll be fine.” She searches Alec’s face for any sign he buys into a single word he’s feeding to her, practiced excuses no doubt already given to his brother and sister before her.

“Do you really believe that? He sacrificed his magic for you, Alec. Do you really believe he thinks so little of you as to just, what?, shrug and move on, with or without his magic?” She can’t believe that. And neither can Alec whether he admits it or not. “What if getting his magic back isn’t enough?”

Alec freezes at the question, eyes wide as if he truly hadn’t considered the possibility that this deal might not solve all of Magnus’ problems. And then, very slowly, his voice hoarse and barely above a whisper, he says, “...it has to be.”

A heavy silence falls between them. Maryse came over here for answers but now that she has them it only leaves her at more of a loss than she was before. There’s no quick fix for this, no advice that feels even remotely helpful.

“What do you need from me? What can I do?” She asks instead.

“Is M…” Alec starts, then stops abruptly before speaking again. “Is he still at the shop?” Her heart aches at the way he stops to avoid saying Magnus’ name.

At least knowing that Alec still loves Magnus makes it less likely she’ll be deemed a traitor for taking him in this morning. “No. I sent him back to my place to clean up and get some sleep.”

Alec swallows hard and nods. “Good. Can you just… keep an eye on him? Until his magic comes back, if you can? Or at least make sure he goes to Catarina’s, or… I just don’t want him to be alone.”

“Of course,” she agrees. She meant every word she said to Magnus the night before about caring about him, about considering him family. And this… this complicates things. But she isn’t about to abandon him, either. “You could come with-”

“No!” Alec practically yells the word. “I can’t. I could barely walk away from him once, I couldn’t… I’m not strong enough to do it again.”

Maryse wants to push him to reconsider but the time doesn’t feel right. “...If you’re certain.”

“I am. It has to be this way.” Alec confirms, blinking his vision clear again. “Give me a minute, I can grab his things for you.” He walks over to the wall and turns on the light, making quick work of gathering everything that Magnus brought with him from the Loft into a large duffle bag before handing it over to her.

“I don’t have to go back right away. I could stay here with you for a little while.” Maryse says, already knowing it’s pointless but offering anyway. She receives the exact response she expects from her son, as touching as it is heartbreaking.

“No. I’d feel better knowing someone’s with him. And I need to clean up and get back to work anyway. The last thing I need right now are rumors… the truth will be bad enough once it gets out.” She opens her mouth to argue that perhaps that isn’t such a good idea so soon, but bites down gently on her lip instead. At least if he’s busying himself with work for the day he won’t be sitting here alone, either. She can come back and they can figure out the rest later.

“Okay. Call me if you need anything. Anything , alright?” Maryse sets the bag down to give Alec another hug, with two extra squeezes before she lets him go again.

“Alright,” he promises, but when he takes a step back he looks like he wants to say something more. “I just-- thanks. For everything.” She nods, forcing a small smile onto her face she prays to the Angel looks more reassuring and hopeful than she feels, before leaving.

She has a lot to think about on the walk back to her apartment, not the least of which is what she’s going to say to Magnus. He’s going to want answers, explanations she can’t give him. And as much as she thinks Alec isn’t doing the right thing by keeping this from Magnus, by making this decision without his knowledge, it isn’t her place to tell him.

She just hopes she can remind herself of that often enough because the temptation is already there to go behind her son’s back and fix things with Magnus, magic be damned.

“Magnus, I’m back!” She calls into the apartment, but doesn’t quite yell, not wanting to wake him if he did manage to fall asleep since he got here. It’s quiet as she sets the bag down on the table and makes her way to the bedroom to check on him -- but he isn’t there. The sheets aren’t even undone from how she left them that morning.

“Magnus?” She calls louder this time, checking the bathroom next before the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach gives way to a full spike of anxiety when he isn’t there, either. She passed by the living room earlier but glances through again just in case, this time noticing the pictures. Every picture she has with Alec in it is turned down. One is broken on the floor. The only room left is the kitchen---

The sight of the empty bottle of wine left out on the counter fills her with dread. There’s a note left under it: ‘ Sorry.’ and then underneath that, in the smaller script of an after-thought, ‘ I won’t be a burden on the Lightwood family any longer. Thank you for your hospitality.’

Oh, Magnus.

She never should’ve left him alone. She doesn’t want to worry Alec, not when he can’t go after Magnus himself… maybe this is for the best. Magnus leaving them behind, trying to move on, it’s what Alec wants for him if he sees this through. But that doesn’t mean she has to like it, or accept it.

She pulls up his number on her phone and is surprised when he answers. “Magnus?” “Please don’t call me again, Maryse. I know you mean well, but this is difficult enough as it is.” His words are slurred, and she hears the noise of cars around him.

“You promised me you’d be here when I got back. Where are you?” She says quickly, before he can hang up.

“I’m just going to see an old friend. He should be here any minute, and then everything will be better again.” There’s a strange calmness to his words that makes her uneasy instead of reassured.

“What does that mean-”

“Ah, there he is. Goodbye, Maryse. Take care.” Magnus ends the call and this time doesn’t answer when she tries to call him back.

Everything will be better again .

She can’t imagine how, but she hopes for his sake that he’s right.

#alec lightwood #maryse lightwood #magnus bane #malec #shadowhunters #shfanficnexus #3x18 #tw: alcohol #enough people requested this that I managed to sneak it in before tonight's ep #elle writes a few deadbeat lines

33 notes · View notes

edales-drabbles · 4 years

Text

Flamelust

Theme; fantasy,slavery, life debts and magic

Summary: Alec has been enslaved for most of his life to one Master or another. To save his life, he accepts a new master. What will be in the cards for him this time?

—————

This was how it was going to end for Alec. In flames and fire, betrayed by his master and ultimately alone. How this had so gone bad, he wasn’t sure. He had followed his orders, obeyed the rules and his teachers and yet… He was about to be consumed by the very element which had granted him safety.

Fire.

It burned through his veins. The pain sharp as his blood turned to lava, angry red lines pulsed along his arms and pounded his chest as the pressure grew. He was turning from human into something else. Something that wouldn’t be him anymore. A monster. He had been betrayed. He had trusted the wrong people. Or was it that there was no one to trust to begin with. They had been kinder. Maybe that should have been the sign that they couldn’t be trusted.

Dimly he was suddenly aware he was screaming. The sound almost alien as his mind seemed to retreat. Pain was everywhere, it was all he was aware of but something was cutting through hit. A voice was in his mind, one he knew vaguely but not fully. A voice which demanded his attention.

“Boy,” it breathed, rumbling slightly like it was echoing. “Open those pretty eyes of yours,” it ordered.

Maybe it was magic but Alec forced his eyes open. A harsh orange light surrounding him but a dark figure broke through it. A tall man wearing black armour in a distinct design, the design of the enemies of Alec’s betrayers, the Moltenstalker Dragon clan. His enemies still. Afterall, he was a flame user. It was what was killing him. And Dragons hated flame users, for good reason.

The man walked up close to him, looking far more noble than anything Alec had ever been. Fire reflecting off his armor and magic surrounding the both. The flames and burning dimmed and with it the pain did too. Not gone, not by a long shot but quiet now, letting Alec breath again. Tears ran down his face as the man knelt down beside him, cupping his face.

“You,” Alec whimpered, not sure what was happening here as the man studied his face intently. He had seen that look before and it never led to good things.

“I can save you, if you accept the cost,” the man murmured softly, a deep rumble still in his voice but it wasn’t aggressive by any means.

His eyes were full of pity and it made Alec’s stomach twist in disgust. How low did you have to fall before the people who hated your existence looked at you like that? Apparently low enough to have your flames turned against you. He didn’t want the dragon’s pity but then again, he didn’t want to die either.

“Cost?” Alec croaked, his voice dry, fear filling him at the idea. Cost. Something he was used to at least. Pity or not, the cost of something was always something he was unable to pay.

“You are aware of how thing go in the dragon courts? Archivist as you were,” The dragon rumbled, his thumb pulling Alec’s cheek.

The heat from the flames was not enough to stop the rock of ice forming in Alec’s stomach. “How did you know..” he whispered, shivering. Only his master had known about his past. Why did this dragon now?

“Your soul sign. You were never meant to learn the ways of the flame. But there is no shame in seeking more from your existence. Even given where it has lead you,” the man smiled sadly at him. Alec shivered again. The man in front of him could read soul signs? He was definitely able to save him then. It was just the cost of the thing. “Now focus on right now boy. Do you know the ways of my people when if comes to life debts such as this?”

Alec thought, the heat making it hard for him to focus even without the pain. It had been a long time since he had been trapped in the library but the knowledge came to him. Locked away in children stories and poems of long dead bards. “An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. Trade of something of equal value,” he murmured.

“Correct,” the man favoured him with a smirk, before his face turned serious. “I will save you life, but you in turn must become my steward.”

“You mean slave,” Alex said feeling tired. “A change in masters, again,”

“You will be fed, clothed and given a purpose. And I won’t try to turn you into a weapon. Given how your previous masters have treated you, I don’t think I will be a worse existence,” the Lord pointed out. He had to be lord with how he was talking about doing such a thing. Only nobles thought nothing about enslaving a person and justifying it by being fed and clothed. “Make your decision quickly, boy. Soon even the firelord himself won’t be able to save you from your flames.”

Fresh tears rolled down Alec’s cheeks. Death or slavery, this time to a dragon who lived in human form. “I never wanted this,” he whispered, the lord watching him with soft eyes. “I just wanted to see the world instead of reading about it. I just wanted to not have to hide from the librarians who wanted to hurt me. Why must I always have to pick between death and being a slave?” he demanded, his voice breaking as he yelled the angry words.

The hand on his cheek, wiped the fresh tears away and the hand moved to the back of his neck. The man gently pressed theirs heads together. “I’m sorry you have been treated so but that does not change the way things are. You will see the world, I promise it. Now, call me by my title and I will save you from your flames.”

Alec closed his eyes and sobbed softly. The choice was clear. He had taken it before, he would take it again. There was nothing else that he could do. Vision blurry with tears as he opened his eyes once more to look into the blood red eyes of the dragon, he let the words come to his lips.

“Please, Master. Save me,” he pleaded.

He was too much of a coward to die. He had been a slave in some form his entire life. He just would serve the dragon as he had served everyone else and hope that his words were true.

The face smiled. It was not a pretty smile, it was the look of a predator and Alex felt a pang of horror in his chest. Maybe he had made the wrong decision. Was the man about to taunt him. More tears ran down his face but the man only leaned closer. Lips touched his and the fire erupted around them for the briefest moments before everything turned to black.

When Alec came to life again, his body ached painfully. It almost seemed the thrum with pain but he was no longer burning. He was warm but not on fire. The dragon had kept his word it seemed and saved him from being burnt alive. Now it was time to pay the dues and accept his new life. Even if moving seemed like an possible thing to do at the moment.

Forcing his eyes open, he found himself in a dimmly lit room, on a bed which was far softer than any other he had slept on beofre. Silk beneath his fingertips, it made it hard for him to sit up with little purchase to it. His shoulders screamed at him fro the action, but he managed it, looking around the new place he found himself. It was far too fancy for the likes of him, meaning he was in his new master’s bed. A thought that made his heart beat fast. Just what kind of slave had he agreed to be before accepting?

Dimmly, he felt inside himself for his powers. They were muted, and very hard to find but it was there. Almost depleted, barely a spark left but it was there. He drew it close, cradling it for a moment. Foreign magic surrounded him, but didn’t stop him as he held his magic with no desire not to use it. It was far to fragile right now. It would recover, as long as it was still there.

“Lifh,” a voice murmured, his new master appearing in a doorway wearing a robe and little else. He looked tired and seemed almost amused at the sight of Alex sitting up. “You need to rest longer. You still have many weeks of recovering yet,” he scolded, walking over and gently making him lie down again. “You are hurting.”

“Master?” Alec croaked softly.

“Yes, Lifh?” the dragon said gently.

“Nothing, Master. Sorry for bothering,” Alec whispered, losing his nerve as the man combed his had hand through his hair. He had so many questions and was too afraid of the answers to ask them.

“We’ll talk in the morning,” the dragoon promised, a hand stroking through his hair. The bed dipped as the dragon got into bed with him. Alec tensed, his back complaining at the movement of muscles, but the man didn’t move close to him.

1 note · View note

gummi-stories · 5 years

Text

Fractured, Chapter One

When your loved one's life is on knife's edge, what would you do?

Alec is a paramedic called out to a serious car wreckage, the victims are not who he expected or wanted

Car accidents weren’t an uncommon occurrence in Alec’s job, being a paramedic he saw all types of accidents from burns to accidental amputations, this job wouldn’t be any different than the others.

“This accident is bad, apparently there have been two casualties on impact and four others severely injured” Alec’s work partner Underhill explained as they drew closer to the accident.

“Shit, how old?” Alec exclaimed with a grimace, death was part of the job and Alec knew that but it didn’t mean he had to like it.

“Apparently the deceased where an elderly couple, one of the injured is a man in this thirties and the other three haven’t been identified yet, they are still trapped in their car” Underhill relayed the information he had received before they set out to the scene.

Alec didn’t get to see the scene much as they had to back the ambulance up to the wreck so the doors were more accessible, but from the number of police cars, police tape, fire truck and other ambulances he could tell this was going to be a bad one.

“I’ll grab the gear and you go talk to Luke” Underhill instructed as he turned off the vehicle, Alec gave his partner a silent nod before getting out of the car. Luke was a friend of Alec’s and also a high ranking officer in the New York police force, there was no doubt that he would have been called to this scene, plus Alec could see his car. As Alec turned to walk over to Luke’s car, his eyes settled on the scene of the wreck, it was an utter mess.

From what he could see, it looks like one car had skidded into another causing it to flip which pushed another car into the railings, from Alec’s guess that was the car the elderly couple was in. Just as he was about to continue walking onwards, dread overcame his whole body when he examined the upside-down car that had its roof caved in, it was awfully familiar and a colour he was used to seeing in the driveway… that was Magnus’ car.

Alec stumbled as all the breath left his lungs and the world began spinning, this couldn’t be happening, this wasn’t ever supposed to happen. Black began to slightly creep up in the corner of his eyes as he struggled to breathe, clutching his chest in distraught. It sounded like someone was calling his name but everything sounded as if it was underwater, muffled and murmured as it fell on his deaf ears.

“Ale… are you…” A familiar voice said as he felt two hands rest on his shoulders, looking up from the ground Alec could make out the blurry figure of Luke, the officer slowly guided him to sit down with his back against the ambulance.

“Alec you need to breathe for me, come on buddy I’m not going to let you pass out on me” Luke exclaimed grabbing Alec’s hands so he had something to ground himself to. Alec nodded before taking in the deepest breath he could, holding it shakily before breathing out. It took a couple of breaths until Alec was finally able to stop shaking and the tightness in his chest to fade.

“You with me?” Luke questioned the paramedic

“L-Luke… that’s, that’s Ma-”

“I know, we’re doing all we can to get them out” Luke replied which only filled Alec with more sinking fear

“Them?” Alec’s tone almost begged Luke not to tell him what he didn’t want to hear, Luke sighed before patting the younger’s arm.

“Magnus isn’t alone, the boys are in the car” Alec felt like screaming the moment those words left Luke’s mouth.

“Why… why did this have to happen to them?” Alec asked weakly

“I don’t know kid, but now you need to be strong and do your job for the sake of your husband and your boys, alright?” Luke said firmly, Alec nodded before sucking in a breath, allowing Luke to haul him up onto his feet.

“I got the equipment, now we just have to wait for the firefighters to get those people out,” Underhill said as he walked over with the medical bag over his shoulder, he instantly noticed how pale his partner looked as Luke stood next to him with a steadying hand on his shoulder.

“Is everything alright Alec?” Underhill asked with a frown, it seemed as if Alec went to respond but nothing came out of his mouth.

“His husband and children are in the upturned car” Luke explained for Alec which caused Underhill to stiffen.

“Holy shit… Alec, I’m so sorry” He said quickly, not knowing how else to comfort his colleague

“Everything is going to be fine” Alec snapped, not noticing how annoyed his voice sounded before he turned and began to walk over to where he was needed, waiting for the firefighters to finish lifting the car. Underhill looked to Luke sadly and the cop returned the sad look knowing how Alec got when he was upset.

Alec was off to the side with his bag draped over his shoulder, arms folded across his chest as he tapped his foot in impatience, the firemen were taking way too long to get his family out of the car. Every second that passed felt like a thousand years to the paramedic, he knew the firemen had to be careful with moving the car and extracting his family as one wrong move and his husband or children could go from injured to dead.

“We got one!” Alec’s heart stuttered and broke at the same time as he saw one of the firemen pull Max out of the wreckage. His seven-year-old son was covered in scrapes, blood, bruises and his right arm didn’t look good. Without even hesitating, Alec rushed over to his boy’s side and began to examine him.

“Right arm looks broken, breathing sounds okay but unconscious” Underhill listed off as he looked over the child, Alec delicately lifted Max’s head and strapped a neck brace on him, since he most likely would have been hanging upside down Alec didn’t know if his spine was okay, it was a precaution they had to take.

“We can get him hooked up to oxygen and get that ambulance to take him to the hospital,” Alec said as he also placed an oxygen mask over Max’s mouth and nose. Underhill nodded in agreement as the two slowly got Max onto the spinal board before placing him on the stretcher, two other paramedics came over and took the stretcher from Alec and Underhill, taking it towards the other ambulance.

All of Alec’s fatherly instincts were screaming at him to follow the stretcher into the back of the ambulance, to make sure his son was going to be okay on his way to the hospital, but he knew that he needed to stay here and do his job, Magnus and Rafael where still in the car.

“Second kid coming out now” Alec’s attention was turned back to the car as the firemen pulled Rafael out, his ten-year-old was in a similar state to his brother and was also unconscious, but instead of having a crooked arm Rafael had a crooked leg and a large gash on his forehead.

“This is going to need stitches,” Alec said as he repeated the same process on Rafael that he had done on Max. Seeing his child like this felt like someone had torn Alec’s heart out, stepped on it and shred it to pieces. Guilt was laying heavy on him as he helped Underhill place Rafael on the spinal board, he had promised Rafe that he would protect him from anything and everything that tried to hurt him, but now he was on his way to the hospital with his life balancing on knife’s edge.

“Shit… is this one alive?” Alec’s blood ran cold as he heard those words, quickly turning on his heel Alec saw Magnus being pulled out of the wreckage and he couldn’t help it when his knees went weak and sunk down to the ground.

“Easy Alec, it’s alright” Underhill was quickly by his side, placing a comforting hand on Alec’s back as his partner watched his husband with wide mortified eyes. If Alec thought the boys were bad, Magnus was on a whole nother level, there wasn't a single part of Magnus that didn't look injured, his legs were both clearly broken and his nose and mouth were covered in blood most likely from hitting the window.

Alec got up on shaky legs and made his way over to where the firemen had laid Magnus on the ground, Underhill followed silently.

“H-He needs emergency surgery, I doubt all his injuries are external” Alec said weakly as he gently began placing a neck brace on his husband. He was so scared that if he messed up he would break his husband who was in the most fragile state Alec had ever seen.

“We'll take him in our one, help me lift him” Underhill instructed, Alec silently helped his partner lift Magnus onto a spinal board before wheeling him into the ambulance.

“You stay in the back with him, I’ll drive” Underhill patted Alec’s shoulder with a sympathetic smile. Alec nodded slightly and climbed into the back of the ambulance, shutting the door behind him and sitting down next to the stretcher Magnus was laid on.

“Magnus… please just… hold on for me, please” Alec whimpered not daring to touch his husband, this was going to be a long and unsteady ride for the whole family

Oh hey, I haven't posted Malec in 70000 years, I hope you enjoy more angst If you like this please follow my Tumblr!

#malec #fanfiction #shadowhunters #whump #malec fanfiction #gummistorieswriting

44 notes · View notes

malecsecretsanta · 5 years

Text

Merry Christmas, @sandalwoodmalecs!

For sandalwoodmalecs: I hope you enjoy this piece: there's a lot of tropes in here which I hope you will like - there's enemies to lovers, though it's one-sided and quite silly, Magnus taking care of Madzie, lots of Queen, and it is set in the summer of 1982.

Read on AO3

*****

whatever this world can give to me

The sky billowed with clouds. Rain fell, heavy and fast, and Magnus cursed, pulling his briefcase closer to his body. He couldn’t stop a groan from slipping through his mouth as the bus sped past him, water drenching his bag despite his previous efforts. It was waterproof - allegedly. Hopefully, it stood the test, or there would be some very angry students when Magnus turned up with their essays - already belated - destroyed, their marks illegible. With that scintillating thought in mind, Magnus chased after the bus. The signpost of the bus stop faced him, almost mockingly. Next to the signpost, underneath the shelter, stood a man, a leather wallet already in his hand. The bus stopped, and Magnus cursed under his breath again.

The man, his suit perfectly dry, entered the bus. The money clinked, the ticket was exchanged, and the door hadn’t closed yet.

But as his eyes met the man’s - they were stunning, molten gold wrapped in jagged emeralds - he shook his head. The door closed, and the bus rattled off. Slightly out of breath, Magnus grabbed the signpost to steady himself, swearing vehemently under his breath. That asshole. He wouldn’t be able to make it to tea with Catarina now.

...

Thankfully, due to his early departure, he wasn’t late for work. Which was just as well. It hadn't been easy to secure this job. Yet, when he turned up to his first lecture, coffee in hand and briefcase slung over his shoulder, there were already students waiting outside the lecture hall. “Right,” Magnus said, opening the door, “come on in.” Chaos swarmed over the room as he stepped inside, the chatter continuing to flourish as the loud snap of desks opening filled the hall. Magnus sighed, throwing his belongings down on the table beside him. 8 am really was too early for a lecture. “Welcome. I have your essays.” The chatter started to crackle, to bubble, on the verge of setting fire to the room. He unclipped the brass clasp of his briefcase, pulling out the slightly damp essays. Magnus smiled, feeling only a tad evil. “Please collect them after the lecture.” A collective grumble spread across the room, but Magnus knew from unfortunate experience that handing them out now would lead to distracted and disinterested students. Well, only slightly more so than usual. Perhaps Magnus wasn't being fair to his students. They were generally a good lot, turning in most of their assessments on time and treating Magnus with respect. Magnus started to walk around, surveying the room, and everyone fell into a silent hush. “After exploring the rise of communism through the allegoristic story of Animal Farm, we will be exploring the fragility of the American Dream in early 20th century Midwestern America through Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. Of course, if you pay any attention at all to the course you are studying, you would already know this.” Magnus turned around, scrawling Of Mice and Men onto the blackboard. He turned back around, his burgundy coat sweeping out. “Get out your books. There’s no rest for the wicked,” he said, winking. “Let's thoroughly dissect and explore the tragedy of George and Lennie.” The lecture passed in a swirl of content pouring out of his mouth, his own battered copy of Of Mice and Men lying on the table. It might not have been the easiest job, teaching adolescents the wonder of literature in the midst of this crazy decade. Life would never be easy. But at least, as a reputable professor, it was easier.

...

When Magnus finally found the time to swing around to Catarina’s place, it was Saturday afternoon, the vicious rain replaced by soft rays of sunlight. As always, Catarina opened the door with the bolt still in place. “Who is it?” The question hung in the air, soaked with the uncertainty and fear born out of societal prejudice.

“Magnus, dear,” he replied.

Catarina unlocked the door, leaning against it with a sigh. “Thank goodness you’re here.” Magnus frowned, walking inside. “Are you alright?” Catarina bit her lip, gesturing towards the phone lying limply on the table. “There’s been an influx of AIDs patients at the hospital, and, well…” "It's not your fault," Magnus cut in, trying to stop Catarina's spiral of self-deprecation before it took over. "What do you need? “Can you look after Madzie?” Catarina asked. It hurt Magnus to hear how hesitant Catarina was. They had been best friends for years. There was no reason to be hesitant in asking for a perfectly reasonable favour. “I know it’s short notice, but -” “Of course I will,” Magnus said, wanting to go up to Ronald Reagan himself to punch him in the face for contributing to all of this distress. “You know I love my sweetpea.” “She’s got a doctor’s appointment at five,” Catarina said, “it’s her yearly check-up, and she really can’t afford to miss it.” “Where is it?” Magnus asked, pushing down his anger at the world and its rigid, unjust ways, as Catarina needed cooperation, not venting, right now. “At the Lightwoods’ clinic down the road.” Catarina tilted her head to the side. “Madzie, you can come out now.” A door down the corridor creaked, opening to reveal Madzie. She dashed out from behind it, running up to hug Magnus. Madzie looked up at him with stars shining in her eyes. "Uncle Magnus! It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, sweetpea,” Magnus replied, dropping down to Madzie’s height, “how’s school?” Her smile widened. “Great! Some kids are mean, but Zoe sticks with me.” Magnus nodded, grateful for the small mercies of life. “And we’re getting to write, now, on these tiny blackboards,” Madzie continued, enthusiasm sparkling within her eyes, “nowhere near as big as yours, Uncle Magnus. Do you know why they make chalk so crumbly?” Magnus laughed, shaking his head. “No, I don’t, sweetpea.” “Anyway,” Catarina interrupted, “Madzie, darling, Uncle Magnus needs to take you to your appointment shortly.” Madzie nodded, entwining her hands with Magnus' jacket as if afraid that he would go away, now that she had stopped talking to him. “May I go to the park after?” “Of course, dear,” Catarina said, slinging her bag over her shoulder, dropping down onto her knees to press a soft kiss to Madzie’s forehead. “Be safe.” “I’ll try,” Madzie promised, “Uncle Magnus knows how to keep me safe.” “He sure does. I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” Catarina said, unlatching the door, the bolt banging against the wood. “Do what Uncle Magnus tells you to do, okay?” “I will,” Madzie repeated, fiddling with Magnus’ jacket. The door closed with a click. Madzie fell into Magnus, forcing him to sit down so that she could crawl into his lap, though he didn’t mind. Magnus opened his arms, making it easier for Madzie to hug him. “We need to go to the doctors shortly, then supper and then the park. Sound good?” Madzie nodded against his neck. “Yep. Can you please read to me?” It broke Magnus’ heart that, even after all these months, Madzie was still so hesitant to ask for what she wanted. “Of course, dear,” he replied, pulling Matilda out of his pocket, “just relax.”

...

The clinic wasn’t difficult to find, with a neat Drs Lightwood scrawled on a sign in front of the place. When Magnus opened the door, he was met with a clean interior. And a friendly receptionist. “Welcome,” she greeted, putting down her pen, “I’m Ms Fray.” “Nice to meet you," Magnus said, "I'm Mr Bane, here for Madzie Loss' 4 o'clock appointment with Dr Lightwood." Ms Fray nodded, checking her notebook with practised ease. “Ah, yes. Please wait in the waiting room and you will be called shortly." “Thank you,” Magnus said, as Madzie grabbed his hand, tugging him towards the waiting area. “They’ve got a nice piano,” Madzie whispered into his ear. “Can you play it please?” Magnus smiled, sitting down at the piano. “Of course, sweetpea.” And as he slipped dramatically into a soft rendition of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony, he started to relax. It was nice to only have to worry about one thing at the time, if only temporarily.

...

Dr Lightwood, unfortunately, broke Magnus’ reverie. He turned out to be that asshole from the bus stop. “Ah, Dr Lightwood," Magnus said, his smile now tight, "nice to meet you. I'm Magnus Bane, Madzie's uncle." Dr Lightwood leant forward, offering his hand, and in the name of politeness and in not scarring Madzie, Magnus shook it. "Please,” Dr Lightwood said with a dismissive wave of his hand, “call me Alec.”

If his eyes hadn’t been so familiar, Magnus might have believed that he was mistaken, that this charming doctor wasn’t the same person who had made him miss his bus.

Magnus tried and failed to add some semblance of warmth to his tone before he spoke next. “Alright.”

“Well," Alec said, flipping through a thin file, "as I told Catarina before on the phone, the health insurance has come through." "Right," Magnus replied, having to make a conscious effort to keep the bitterness out of his voice, "let's commence, then."

If it had been a regular day, and Magnus had missed his normal bus, he would have had some serious explaining to do to his boss.

So he wasn’t exactly brimming with positivity about this Dr Lightwood. Yet as the consultation went on, Alec continued to dote on Madzie with soft words and even softer smiles, leading Magnus to think that, despite his selfish tendencies, perhaps Alec wasn’t the devil incarnate. Still, for the peace of his own mind if nothing else, Magnus wanted to ask Alec why he hadn’t simply asked the bus driver to wait. So at the end of the consultation, he spoke up. "Madzie, if you could please wait outside, I would like to have a private word with Dr Lightwood." Madzie nodded, slipping outside without a fuss. Alec sighed, shuffling the paperwork. “Catarina has already paid for everything this year and completed all of the necessary paperwork - you know that, right?” “Yeah,” Magnus dismissed with a wave of his hand, “I do. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about. Is there a reason why you didn't wait for me to get on the bus?" Alec blinked. “I wasn’t trying to be rude.” “You clearly saw me,” Magnus couldn’t help but argue, “what, did you think I was running for the trees?” Alec shook his head, a small laugh escaping his lips. “Magnus. That wasn’t the public bus.” Magnus frowned, feeling his irritation slipping away. “But it looked exactly like one.” “A disguise,” Alec said, shrugging. “It was for a… training day, for a special selection of doctors.” “Oh.” Thank goodness Madzie was outside. She didn't need to see this. “Well - what happened to my actual bus?” “It turned the corner as you entered the street,” Alec said, his eyes crinkling with laughter. “Look, as an apology for creating you all this stress, however inadvertently, why don’t we meet up for coffee some time? My treat.” “Sure.”

There wasn’t any real reason to turn down an offer of free food and genuine companionship.

So Magnus took it.

...

There was a certain comfort to his loft, the long, draining week of exams finally behind him, a place where he could simply relax. As Magnus loosened his tie, excitement pierced his weary soul: tonight, he wouldn’t simply be eating takeout alone, but going out with Alec to a local diner. It had been so long since he had gone out with anyone new. His bell rang, and Magnus sighed, tightening his tie back up: despite the tie, his outfit wasn’t awfully fancy, just nice pants with a grey dress shirt. After slipping his wallet and keys into his back pocket, Magnus somehow found the strength within himself to walk to the door. It swung open outwards with ease - thankfully, Alec had taken the precaution of standing away from the door. But his smile still lit up the hallway, despite how relatively casual he was dressed compared to his stiff suit from the other day at the clinic: loose-fitting jeans, a simple t-shirt and scuffed sneakers. “Hey,” Alec said, stepping forward, “you look nice.” Magnus couldn’t stop the warmth in his chest from spreading, despite the danger. “Why thank you,” he replied, a smile slipping onto his face, “so do you, Dr Lightwood.” A slither of disapproval fell into Alec’s gaze. “No titles here, Dr Bane. Simply good food.” “Right then, Alec,” Magnus said, pulling the door closed behind him, “let’s head to the famous diner, then.”

...

The diner was lovely, tucked away from the general hustle and bustle of New York. “How’d you find this place?” Magnus asked as they walked inside. “It’s gorgeous.” Alec shrugged. “Come here all the time with my partner. It’s near the clinic and it serves good food.” As Alec spoke, a waitress approached them, her blonde hair tucked up into a bun. “Take your seats wherever you please,” she said, “and I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your order.” “Thanks, Lydia,” Alec said, before leading Magnus to a corner booth, near the jukebox that was belting out Don’t Stop Believin’.

Alec picked up the pitcher of water when he sat down, gesturing for Magnus to do the same. Magnus slipped onto the seat opposite Alec. “Who’s your partner?” he asked, opening the menu, “your wife?” It wasn’t something that Magnus necessarily wanted to be true, but something that was likely to be. Alec spluttered, putting down the pitcher of water. “Oh God no. It’s my sister.” “How’s working with your sister?” Magnus asked, scanning the menu absentmindedly, in an effort to shield his relief from the world. Alec shrugged, pouring water into his glass. “Good. She’s an amazing doctor. Could do without the teasing, though.” “Ah, but that’s the sisterly love right there,” Magnus said, his tone warm. Alec snorted. “Sure. Sisterly love. Want some?” he asked, gesturing with the pitcher. Magnus shook his head. “Nah, I’m good. Thinking of getting a chocolate milkshake.” Alec nodded, humming. “Izzy told me that they’re good. What else?” “A scone.” Magnus couldn’t help but think of how ashamed Ragnor would be of Magnus for daring to order and consume a disgusting, American scone. “Sounds good,” Alec said, sipping his water. He tilted his head towards the jukebox, which had now slipped into Under Pressure. “Do you like Queen?” A smile broke through, a topic of ease sliding onto his tongue. “Yeah,” Magnus replied, “they’re great.” Alec put down his glass of water, his gaze content. “Brilliant. My sister doesn’t. Nice to meet a fellow fan,” he said, holding his hand out in a mock handshake. “Why ever not?” Magnus asked as he shook Alec’s hand, pushing down the laughter bubbling within himself, feeling more comfortable by the second. Alec shrugged. “Bad taste, I say.” Magnus laughed, closing the menu. “Fair call.” And as the night fell away, into laughter and delicious food, Magnus couldn’t help but reflect on how screwed he was. Alec was such a beautiful man, both inside and out. Magnus really should learn to stop wanting what he could never have.

...

It wasn’t difficult to track down the clinic’s number, but it was with unsteady fingers that Magnus dialled it. Not knowing how something would be received tended to instil fear into a person. There was a click, a whirl, and the line crackled. “Dr Lightwood speaking.” It wasn’t Alec speaking - Magnus could tell that much. “Um, hi. This is Magnus Bane -” “I see,” they replied, smugness crawling into their voice. “I’ll get my brother in a minute, he’s on a break.” So Magnus waited, fanning himself to try and cool himself in the stifling summer heat. “Hello,” Alec said, “Magnus, thanks for calling.” It wasn’t what he had expected. “Oh - that’s quite okay. I was just wondering...” the line crackled with static, “if we could meet up again?” “Definitely. It’s game night with my sister tomorrow night if you’d like to come?” “That sounds lovely,” Magnus said, mopping the sweat from his forehead. “We even have an air conditioner,” Alec added, amusement slipping into his voice. “Izzy insisted that she would not live with me if I stunk up the place every summer. So, I let her invest.” “How chivalrous of you,” Magnus commented, the information making the deal sweeter if time spent with such an intriguing man needed to be improved upon. Alec chuckled. “Indeed. You can meet us at the clinic at 6 o’clock tomorrow night. Trust me, it’s easier that way.” “Well.” Magnus paused, taking a sip of his lukewarm water. “If you insist. See you then, Alec.” “See you. Stay safe.”

...

The clouds swirled above Magnus as he entered the clinic, the reception area empty but for the chatter of Alec and his sister drifting through from another room. “Stop overreacting,” someone chided, “everything is going to be fine.” Magnus couldn’t help the curiosity from spiking beneath his skin, as he strode forward and knocked on the door behind the reception desk. “Hello,” he said to an eyeful of plaster. The door opened, and with it, a young woman, her dark hair twisted into an intricate bun. “Magnus!” she said, beaming. She started to unbutton her lab coat, shedding the world of work from her shoulders. “I’m Izzy, Alec’s sister.” “Lovely to meet you,” Magnus replied, reaching out to shake her hand.

Izzy shook his hand. “You’ve found a chivalrous one, brother,” she teased. “I guess so,” Alec said as he stepped into the room, his hair ruffled. "Let's go.”

Only joy came from following Alec to his home, to another phenomenal night.

...

The game of the night turned out to be Payday; a game that Magnus cherished, if not for the game itself but of the countless times he had played it with Madzie. But never before had it been such a competitive exercise. “Honestly,” Alec muttered, reluctantly forking out some of his fake cash, “I didn’t even go to any High School Dances. Why do I have to pay for it?” “Stop complaining,” Izzy interrupted, her own wad of cash thick from a particularly profitable deal involving water pipes, “it’s a game, and anyway, you can survive buying your sister a few dresses.” Magnus laughed, lightness brewing within him, and it had nothing to do with the champagne. “Darling, I had to pitch in the same amount to make you a mayor. It’s a chance game.” “Well,” Alec said, handing the dice to Magnus, his palm warm, “my luck is a sham.” Izzy snorted, putting down her wine. “No, it’s not. You’re going to Queen next week.” “Yeah, because it’s my birthday gift from you, who I’m going with,” Alec replied, his gaze deadpan. Izzy shrugged. “Excuses, excuses.” She paused, swishing her wine around, turning to face Magnus, her eyes sparkling with the same fire that had made this game so intense. “You should go.” Magnus shook his head. “No, dear. You bought the tickets. You should go.” Izzy shrugged again. “Yeah, because I wanted my brother to have the option to go with someone, and I was there if he didn’t find anyone else he wanted to go with.” A logical response. Those always were more difficult to refute. “Really, Izzy, there’s no need -” Magnus said, repeating himself. As much as he would love to go to Queen, see Freddie Mercury’s face sparkle under the gleam of fluorescent lights as he belted his heart out, he didn’t want to be an intruder. Didn’t want Alec to resent him for stealing his sister’s rightful place. “Izzy’s right,” Alec interrupted, “she could care less about Queen, but you clearly love them.” Magnus blinked. “Are you sure?” “Yeah,” Alec said, putting down his own glass, “they’re my tickets and I’d love to go with you - if you can make it. It’s 8 pm next Tuesday.” Magnus finished work at 5. “Yeah,” he said, defeated, “I can.” “Right,” Izzy said, crossing her arms, “that’s settled, then.” Magnus smiled, his chest tight. “I guess it is, then.” “I’m looking forward to getting to spend more time with you,” Alec replied, picking up his glass. Lies fell, sugar sweet, from Alec’s lips, again and again. Yet perhaps Alec did genuinely enjoy Magnus’ company. Magnus lifted his glass in mock salute. “So am I.”

...

It took an hour on the dusty, crowded trains of New York to reach Madison Square Garden - but with Alec, it hadn’t mattered the surroundings, but who he was with.

The chatter swelled as they were caught up in the crowd moving towards Madison Square Garden. The sun still flared across the city as they shuffled through Tower B, yet there was also a cool breeze swirling throughout the crowd of people. They walked in the sticky heat to their seats along row 14, near the corner, but with a clear view of the stage. “You have a very nice sister,” Magnus muttered as they sat down. Alec shrugged. “Izzy’s amazing. But you should see what I got for her birthday.” “What?” Magnus asked as people continued to file in. “Her new home,” Alec said as if it was the most mundane gift in the world. “She had recently qualified as a doctor, much to our parents’ detriment, and I offered her a place where she wasn’t constantly asked when she was going to marry.” Alec fell quiet. “I don’t think either of us is going to please our parents in that particular area of life.” “Well.” Magnus cracked open his water, expensive as it was, and took a sip. “Marriage isn’t everything.” Alec laughed dryly. “Tell that to my parents. You’d be out of the door before you had even entered.” “Let’s not talk about those of the past,” Magnus said, squashing down the glee that arose from Alec’s untraditional views shining through, “let’s talk about the present, and the miracles we’re about to witness.” Alec nodded, and as he did, the whole entire stadium fell into a hush.

But then the whole crowd cheered and they joined into the roar, Freddie Mercury himself strolling onto the stage. “Hello New York!” Freddie said, his voice rolling across the stadium in a booming echo. “Welcome to Madison Square Garden!” The music thrummed with energy; but the display itself enthralled Magnus, with the dancing of the lights, in shades of green and red and blue, smoke curling off the stage. But perhaps the most enchanting part of the performance was Freddie himself, as he sung, walking across the stage like it was his home. He clapped, along with Alec, as the crowd joined in for a fast-paced rendition of We Will Rock You. The songs took him away, to an easier time, to a lighter time, to a world full of possibility. The crowd buzzed with enthusiasm, and it was contagious. For Magnus sung, he clapped, he laughed. A brilliant night, made sweeter by the man by his side. As it drew to an end, the chorus of We Are The Champions swelling into place with the banging of drums, fire licked against his skin due to the sheer intensity of the atmosphere. This was a concert of flame, of passion, of joy. But Magnus didn’t think that he needed to come here to find that part of himself - if he was allowed, he could find it in the man sitting right next to him.

...

They stumbled onto the night train with others from the concert, chatting idly with laughter stirring their weary bones. “Aren’t you glad that we forced you to go?” Alec teased, his eyes twinkling. Magnus shrugged. “Yeah,” he whispered, his voice slightly raspy from all of the singing, “I am. Thank you, again.” “I don’t think you quite understand,” Alec said, as the carriage shook and rattled, “it was my pleasure.”

...

There was a notable silence to Alec’s apartment after the buzz of the concert, covering Magnus like a blanket. Magnus flopped onto the couch, closing his eyes. The click of the door closing, the thud of Alec’s boots; all these little things reminding Magnus that he needed to get himself under control. “Magnus?” Alec called out, uncertainty wavering in his voice. “Are you alright?” Magnus lifted his head to smile, but it was strained and his eyes felt as dull as tarnished silver. “I’m fine.” Alec bit his lip. “Of course. It’s getting late.” There it was - the dreaded finality to Alec’s words. Alec had indulged Magnus for long enough. He was under no obligation to stick around. Even as a friend, even if - even if Magnus wanted more than that. But the world still shouted, still degraded and scorned and defiled men like him - yet Alec wasn’t like that. He wouldn’t yell at Magnus, but his rejection would be soft, and - Magnus could lose him. Magnus didn’t think he could bear that. Magnus nodded, fixating his gaze on the portrait of a beautiful woman in front of him. He’d never seen her before. “It is.” “Magnus,” Alec reprimanded softly, dropping down onto the couch beside him. “I think it best if - if you stay the night, if you don’t mind. The city isn’t safe at night when you’re alone - and -” Alec seemed worried, in a way Magnus really hadn’t seen him fret before. “Calm down,” Magnus interrupted, “I’ll stay, if that makes you feel better.”

But his words were simply another form of pretence: he wanted to stay for his own sake, simple as that. Alec sunk further into the couch. “Thank you. You can sleep in Izzy’s room, she’s with a friend tonight.” Alec sighed, curling up in on himself. “She can take care of herself.” Magnus doesn’t know who Alec was trying to convince - himself or Magnus. “Of course she can,” Magnus reassured, pushing away the hurt that arose from Alec choosing to not face him, despite the awkward position that ensued. “That’s her friend, Maia,” Alec said, pointing at the picture, “fierce and stubborn. Perfect for Izzy.” Magnus could feel himself relax, albeit slightly. Not a girlfriend, then. Alec shifted on the couch, restlessness interwoven into his bones. “There’s something I need to tell you.” Alec wasn’t looking at Magnus. “Go ahead,” Magnus said, “we’ve got all night.” “The thing is.” Alec sighed again, shaking his head. “Do you want some tea?” Magnus didn't particularly want tea, but - but it would mean that he got to chatter with Alec a bit longer. “If you don’t mind,” Magnus replied, “that would be lovely.” It seemed that all of the energy from the concert had been sucked out by the oppressive heat that still swirled around the city, even as the sun bid New York good night. Alec got up, quickly, as if thankful for the distance it put between him and Magnus. “How’s work?” It felt like Alec was trying to stagnate the conversation with mundane topics. “Exam season is coming up, so busy.” There was the whistle, the click of the kettle and the rattle of tea leaves before Alec spoke next. “I don’t miss it.” Magnus buttoned and unbuttoned his right cuff a few times. “Neither do I, rather, it’s much more pleasant being on this side of exams. Look - Alec - are you alright?” No matter how unfulfilled, how lost Magnus felt - how he felt didn’t matter. But, now, if Magnus was making Alec feel uncomfortable - that mattered. “Um.” Alec blinked, almost dropping the mug he was holding. “I need to tell you something.” The fear from before came roaring up into his heart, winding around it in an act of strangulation. “Okay,” Magnus said, swallowing down his own fear, “I trust you.” Alec smiled. Something fragile, small, but oh so beautiful. “So do I.” The kettle started to bubble, to boil, but Alec wasn’t paying any attention to it - instead, his eyes were fixated on Magnus. “I’m gay.” The words were quick, muttered under his breath like Alec was ashamed. “Hey,” Magnus said softly, “that’s okay. Thank you for telling me.” Such an immense show of trust; but even if Alec could be attracted to him, it didn’t mean he was. “And.” He paused. “Only Izzy knows, but I thought it would be important to tell you because -” Alec trailed off, turning off the whistling kettle. “Alec,” Magnus said, pushing aside his own mess of emotions in an effort to untangle Alec's, “you don’t have to tell me anything else that makes you uncomfortable.” Alec shook his head, putting the mug down, pouring tea into it. “No. I need to. And - if you never want to see me again after this, I completely understand.” Magnus couldn’t fathom anything that would turn him against Alec. Well, perhaps murder. But even then, it would depend on the circumstances. Alec exhaled, walking over with Magnus’ cup of tea, his eyes flickering down to the rug as he sat down on the armchair across from Magnus. “I like you.” Alec seemed frozen, rubbing his hands together. “Romantically - and - I just thought you should know, before it got more serious, before.” He swallowed again. “Before it would have been more painful for me to let go of you.” It broke Magnus’ heart, the way that Alec cut his own emotions away as if they were worthless. They were definitely not worthless. “Look,” Magnus began, walking over to Alec, putting his hand on Alec’s shoulder. “I’m bisexual, so I get how brave you are.” Alec stared at him, the sheer vulnerability and accompanying fear in his gaze throwing another dagger at Magnus’ heart. “Oh,” he whispered, “that’s good, but -” “I have feelings for you, too,” Magnus interrupted before Alec could enter another spiral of self-deprecation. “How could I not? You’re the most magnificent man I’ve ever met.” “I.” Alec blinked, his eyes wet. “I just. Really?” “Really,” Magnus said, rubbing circles into Alec’s shoulders, a smile slipping through. Alec leaned forward, tentatively, to cup Magnus’ face as if he was the most precious object in the world. “Can I.” He hesitated. “Can I kiss you?” “Of course,” Magnus replied, unable to stop himself from leaning into Alec’s touch. It was like being enveloped in pure, gentle warmth. With that, Alec leaned forward. The kiss felt like coming home, like kicking off your shoes after a long day at work. Alec pulled at Magnus’ jacket, and Magnus melted further into the kiss, winding his arms around Alec’s neck. He’d never felt so safe. The kiss ended, and Magnus laughed in disbelief. “I’m glad you took this risk. That was.” He searched for an adequate word, but couldn’t find anything adequate for the exhilaration spreading throughout his body and mind. “Wonderful. Exquisite.” “It was,” Alec said, joy shining in his eyes, “It’s getting late, though. Do you want to go to sleep?” Magnus nodded, stifling a yawn against his elbow. “Yeah. Is it okay if I go into your room? Just to sleep.” In the wake of their confessions, Magnus simply wanted to be close to Alec, to soak up his warmth, for as long as he could. “Yeah,” Alec breathed, “yeah, that sounds nice.” It took a few minutes, a few moments sinking into the wonderland spinning itself into existence before Magnus’ eyes, before Alec got up, Magnus following behind him. Once there, they sank into the bed, exhausted. But not too exhausted for Magnus to slip a hand around Alec’s waist, pulling him close, burrowing instinctively into his warmth. “I’m not going anywhere,” Alec mumbled, entwining his hand with Magnus’. The world outside might not be the most accepting; but here, in the arms of the man he was already halfway to falling in love with, Magnus had never felt freer.

#sandalwoodmalecs #malecsanta18 #*fics18 #*gifts18

11 notes · View notes

magnusurbane · 6 years

Text

Painful Memories

Hey guys! This is my very first one shot. Since I’m so new at this please feel free to send me constructive criticism.

Summery: Magnus wakes up from a particularity horrifying dream of his first love. He worries that Alec will be mad at him for dreaming of a past lover. Warnings: Vague description of violence towards lgbt+ characters, nightmares, minor character death (not described graphically, but mentioned).

***

“Gus! Gus!” Magnus screamed. He watched helplessly as the love of his life is dragged out of his reach

“Magnus!” Gus said through tears. He reached for Magnus’s hand as he tried to free himself from the grip of faceless men that were pulling him away. “It’s going to be alright mon cher. I promise as long as you’re okay, I will be okay. Je t'aime.” The world started to shift around Magnus as Gus whispered his last confession, and suddenly he was standing in the back of a cheering crowd. He couldn’t see what was happening because his face was buried in his hands, but he could still hear Gus’s heart wrenching screams as they tortured him. It went on for hour until finally the screams abruptly stopped and Magnus, knowing what must have happened, fell to his knees.

“Gus!” He screamed over and over again as the tears fell from his eyes. He screamed until his voice was hoarse, and than, when he saw them drag a body down the street, he screamed more.

***

Alec woke up to the sounds of screams. He scrambled to sit up and grab his seraph blade that was on the nightstand. He stopped when he realized the screams were coming from the sleeping man next to him. “Gus! Gus!” Magnus’s screamed. Gus? ‘Who is Gus and why is Magnus screaming his name in his sleep’ Alec thought. Magnus’s screams where so full of anguish and pain that Alec couldn’t bare listening to them. He started to shake Magnus, but Magnus wouldn’t wake up.

“Magnus! Please wake up love. Please” Alec begged. Suddenly Magnus’s eyes shot open and looked around the room frantically. Alec noticed that they weren’t glamoured but were unfocused and glassy with tears. He locked eyes with Alec and then collapsed into Alec’s embrace. Alec wasn’t sure what was happening, but he knew Magnus needed to be held so he pulled him closer.

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes when Alec realized that his shirt was starting to feel a little damp. “Hey babe, it’s okay it was just a dream. Please look at me” slowly Magnus lifted his head.

“But it isn’t just a dream, it wasn’t. I couldn’t save him Alexander. I-I tired but I couldn’t and he died and it’s my fault. I killed him Alexander.” Magnus said through sobs. He sounded so broken, Alec had no idea what to do.

“Shhhh it’s alright. Your okay. I’ve got you.” Alec said as he pulled Magnus back into a hug. Magnus’s sobs got louder as he weeped into Alec’s shoulder. Alec held him helplessly rocking slowly back and forth, hoping it would bring some comfort to his wrecked boyfriend. Alec knew better than to ask who Gus was while Magnus was still so fragile, but he was curious nonetheless. Was he a friend? A lover? What had happened to him and why couldn’t Magnus save him? After a while Magnus’s cries subsided. “Hey Magnus do you want to talk about it? I don’t want to push but I also can’t stand know that something is eating you up so much you’re having nightmares” Magnus never did well with bottling his feelings up, Alec knew that it would only lead to further hurt if he didn’t talk about it.

“I’m sorry” Magnus whispered

“What?! What do you have to be sorry for babe? You had a nightmare that’s not your fault” Alec said

“I’m sorry for waking you up so late and for nothing more than a stupid dream” Magnus said with an empty laugh.

“You know I don’t mind being woken up Magnus. I want to help you, to be there for you. And it is clearly not stupid if it made you this upset. What did you dream about?” Magnus’s took a deep breathe,

“Gus” Magnus whimpered.

“Who is that, love?” Alec asked quietly, as if he was afraid to break the silence.

“He was my first love” Magnus looked up at Alec and searched his eyes for something: pity, rejection, jealousy. Anything that showed that Alec did not want to hear about his past lover. Why would he? Magnus is with Alec now. Why should his past matter? Why did he have a dream about his old boyfriend when Alec is sleeping right next to him? What is wrong with him? But instead when he looked into Alec’s eyes all he saw was sadness.

“Oh Mags” Alec said. “What happened in you dream. Please tell me”

“No it’s nothing. You don’t want to hear about that, about who I used to be, who I used to love. It doesn’t matter now because I’m in love with you and he doesn’t-“

“Please” Alec interrupted. Magnus sighed.

“His name was Augustus, Gus for short, he was the first person I ever loved.” Magnus paused to breathe “and he was murdered.”

“Magnus-“

“I tried to save him, but those where different times Alexander. We were so young and people killed people like us. We had to hide everything about our relationship so we would be safe, but someone found out. I don’t know how but they did and Gus was arrested one night. They never tried to take me, I don’t know why, but I watched them drag him into the town square and torture him. I can still hear his screams, but I couldn’t save him without using magic in front of everyone. I watched them kill him Alexander and I did nothing.”

“Oh Magnus I’m so sorry. None of that is your fault. You couldn’t reveal yourself as a warlock. They would have killed you.”

“But why didn’t they take me! They just killed him and let me go free!”

“I don’t know Magnus, but I am happy you are here now, otherwise I wouldn’t have met you. And without you, my life was miserable. You might not have been able to save Gus, but you saved me and never forget that Magnus Bane.” Magnus gave Alec a sad smile and wiped his tears away.

“I’m sorry Alexander. I swear I haven’t thought of Gus for years. He’s been dead for centuries, but I guess a man never forgets his first love. Regardless I shouldn’t have been dreaming about him while you were sleeping right next to me. Please forgive me darling”

“There nothing to forgive baby. I know you have been through hell and back countless times in your life. You can’t help that you dreamt of him and I’m not mad. I can tell that you loved him dearly and I know you love me. I can’t help who you loved in the past, but I am so sorry you had to go through so much and watch horrible things happen to the man you loved. I understand that nightmare can still plague you after something like that.”

“I love you so much Alexander. No one has ever loved me or accepted me as fully and as freely as you do. I have never told anyone outside of Caterina and Ragnor about Gus. I’m sorry that I kept it from you, but it’s not exactly a memory I think about or bring up often” Magnus confessed.

“I know Magnus. You have a lot of history. It will take me awhile to know all of it, but I want to. I want you to be comfortable telling me everything, because I love you so much and I never want you to suppress or hide who you are from me.” Alec said

“I love you too Alexander.” Magnus said. He paused, thinking for a moment and then said, “you remind me of him. He was compassionate and selfless like you. He was an archer too. That’s why I noticed you at first. Because your archery reminded me of him”

“Well, who would win in a contest?” Alec asked trying to lighten the mood. Magnus chuckled and softly kissed Alec.

“With you Alexander? No one could ever compare.”

50 notes · View notes

eversall · 7 years

Note

prompt: jimon + sleeping together and then agreeing to pretend it never happened, but obviously that doesn't work *flails*

hi!! thank you for the prompt i wrote this while i was writing my essay and it was the best kind of distraction

Jace remembers exactly how it happened, because he’s not the kind ofdrunk to forget things, and he wasn’t even that drunk anyway; he remembersexactly how they’d moved, Simon’s eyes fullof promise as they’d kissed, slow and languid and unhurried in a dark corner ofMagnus’ party, and then they’d stumbled into one of the bedrooms; he remembersexactly how his heart had broken, clinging desperately to this one chance to beselfish and have what he wanted, and maybe that’s the saddest thing of all.

The memory is burned across the forefront of his mind, of Simon leaningin and whispering, low, his body swaying slightly to the music why are you here, Jace, I’m not even yourtype, man. And it was meant to be a joke, the kind they’re allowed to teaseeach other with now that they’re friends, or something like friends-adjacent,but Jace had been stupid-confident with the low, exhilarating buzz of alcoholand he’d leaned in closer, too close, and whispered back but you are and Simon had made a low, thrilled noise; he’d pressedinto Jace until there was no space left between them and sealed their mouthstogether.

Jace can vividly recall the way Simon had felt, tongue lazily strokingthe roof of Jace’s mouth, fingertips creeping up over Jace’s back and draggingdown slowly, his hips undulating to the beat of the music against Jace’s. Jacehad been powerless in the face of everything he’d wanted, and he’d pushed backto give as good as he’d got, hoisting Simon up by his thighs as they’d kissed andstumbling backwards until they’d found a door and pushed through it, Jacecarelessly turning the lock with his hand as he’d slammed Simon up against the wall.

“You’re – oh – fuck – how far do you want to - ?” Simonhad asked, and Jace had hummed, pleased, as he’d nosed along the delicate lineof Simon’s jaw, setting his teeth in the fragile skin of Simon’s neck andbiting lightly.

“Everything.” Jace had answered carelessly, the words flying out of hismouth with an alarming sincerity, but with arousal running hot through hisveins, he couldn’t have cared less; he’d let Simon’s legs down and thenimmediately dropped to his knees, eyes fixed hungrily on Simon’s belt buckle ashe’d fumbled through getting his pants down and over his knees and then beforeSimon could push his boxers down he’d leaned forward, mouthing at Simon’s cockthrough the thin cotton, body thrumming with a sudden urgency to devour the other man.

“Fuck, you’re amazing, Jace.” Simon had breathed out, his handsgoing to anchor themselves in Jace’s hair, and Jace had closed his eyes andsavored it, the frisson of pleasure creeping up his spine at the way Simon saidhis name, and he’d worked that night to tear his name out of Simon’s mouth inevery way possible. Simon, shuddering Jaceand pulling him up to taste himself in Jace’s mouth; Simon, whispering Jace with a kind of awe on his face thathad hurt to look at as he’d pushedthree fingers into Jace and Jace had moaned, loud and needy, the sound echoingthrough the room; Simon, crying Jaceas he’d come undone over Jace, pushing in and in and in until they were wrappedtogether, moving with a frenzied urgency together, eyes locked onto each otheras Jace memorized every line of Simon’s face like this, gorgeous and wild.

And now, as he wakes up with Simon’s head pillowed on his chest, he remembers everything, and it suddenly hurts so much he can barely breathe,and he slips out of bed as quietly as he can, leaving it behind.

He can’t leave it behind. He and Simon are out of sync, today, lookingat each other and then looking away, and Jace can’t stop flushing with anabsurd undercurrent of lust every time he moves and his legs ache, remindinghim of last night, or when he pushes his fingers against the hickey Simon lefton his hipbone, hidden by his shirt.

It’s making him feel heartbroken,because Simon was a little drunk andit probably meant nowhere near as much to him as it does to Jace, because Jaceis all in and Simon – Simon’s only been broken up with Clary for two weeks,now, and Jace is the rebound, he knowsit. It hurts, and his body is still pulsing with the feeling of Simon, memoriesfresh from last night, and it’s confusing, and he snaps at Simon more thanonce, and Simon snaps back, and they’re both too awkward and stilted around eachother.

“How much did you have to drink last night?” Izzy asks him, bewildered,as he misses his landing and missteps when he jumps down from the roof,stumbling. He grunts, and shrugs; Alec cuts him a look, and Jace is pretty surehe’s figured out what happened from the parabatai bond.

“Enough to see you slip out with Clary and remember it.” Jace responds instead, smirking, and Izzy laughs andthey forget about it; but Simon stares at him like he’s a puzzle that can’t be figuredout and Clary raises an eyebrow.

Later, Simon pulls him aside, his grip firm and unavoidable, and Jacestares at him, waiting for him to speak, and desperately thinking say you’re in love with me too. Say theimpossible, Simon, say it.

“Look,” Simon says, his eyes darting around furtively, “it doesn’t haveto mean anything. We can pretend it never happened. Just stop ignoring me likeI’m gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe, Jesus.” He says, and Jace laughs alittle because he can’t help it, his heart aches and Simon’s still the mostbeautiful and ridiculous person he’s ever seen.

He rubs the back of his neck, looks at Simon carefully.

“Sure.” He says, and Simon’s eyes lighten considerably, and Jacepretends it doesn’t kill him a little on the inside. “Sure.”

He really – tries. To pretend like it didn’t happen. But how can he forgetthe feeling of Simon’s arms pinning him in place, his eyes hungry as he pressedkisses down Jace’s chest, their legs tangled together like it’s the easiestthing in the world? How can he pretend Simon didn’t give him somethingimmeasurably precious?

“You’ve gotta talk to him.” Alec tells him, and Jace snorts.

“Talking, yeah, how’d that work out for you?” He asks, handing Alec hisbow and arrow as they suit up for patrol. Alec grimaces.

“Point.” He concedes. “But here’s a novelidea – maybe you could, oh, I don’t know, learn from my mistakes?”

“See, that implies I make mistakes too, and as we all know, that’s nottrue.” Jace says, smirking, and Alec cuffs him over the head for that as Jacetries to dodge, laughing.

“Right,” Simon says, appearing next to them with Clary and Izzy in tow,“because putting salt in your coffee this morning was what you intended to do.”

“It’s how the French take their coffee.” Jace responds loftily. “Youwouldn’t understand.” Simon laughs, shoves Jace gently, and Izzy starts sayingsomething about coffee beans, and Jace doesn’t listen for a moment, just looksat Simon, and after a beat Simon looks at him, his eyes warm. They hold on toeach other like that for a second too long, and Jace feels his heart stutter inhis chest.

Simon is everywhere. Jace iswalking through Central Park, trying to get some time alone, when he sees Simonsitting on a bench and contemplating a melting ice-cream cone like it’s holdingthe secrets of the universe.

“Give that to me.” Jace says, snatching the ice cream from his hands,and Simon startles, his arm flailing and hitting the bench railing. It dentsslightly and Jace raises an eyebrow, incredulous, as he licks the melting dropsoff the cone. “You can’t eat this, what’s wrong with you?”

“Where did you come from, man?” Simon asks instead, gaping. His eyesflicker to where Jace is swirling his tongue over the cone, and Jace flushesbecause he vividly remembers using the same motion in a much more intimate place. “I don’t know, I justreally missed ice cream.”

“So you sat here like a lunatic, just waiting for it to melt all overyour fingers?” Jace asks, sliding on the bench next to him. He slides in tooclose accidentally, and their thighs are pressing together, and Simon looks athim for a moment too long.

“Yeah.” Simon says, and then he’s reaching across the space betweenthem, his thumb brushing softly against Jace’s lower lip. Jace can’t breathe, and he holds himself as stillas possible, the air growing thick between them with tension as Simon bringshis thumb away, a drop of strawberry ice cream on it.

“You had a bit of – “ Simon says hoarsely, and they both look at histhumb, and Simon slowly brings it up to his mouth and sucks the drop off, hischeeks hollowing out around the finger and his eyes trained intently on Jace’s.It’s obscene and beautiful in a wild, reckless way.

Jace’s caged heart pounds wildly in his chest and he drops the icecream cone.

“Jace.” Simon says helplessly, and Jace shakes his head as he stands.It’s not fair. They’re pretending itdidn’t happen.

It’s another party, only a week after the first one, and Jace is stonecold sober, his mood sour as he takes in the bright lights in Magnus’ darkenedloft, the bass thrumming through the floor. He’s in the corner, leaning againstthe wall, and he thinks bitterly that it never ends, his cycle of falling lovewith all the wrong people.

Simon appears like Jace’s thoughts have summoned him, and his blue button-uphas the top few buttons popped; Jace has the absurd urge to tell him to coverup.

“You’re not drinking?” Simon asks, and Jace looks at him.

“No.” He says, because how can it be a good idea? How can he stand hereand pretend that he doesn’tdesperately want to drown in Simon again?

“Why?” Simon persists, stepping closer to be heard, and Jace wants toback away further but he’s already trapped.

“Why do you think?” Jace mutter bitterly, and it’s too much too soon,playing all his cards at once, his heart on his sleeve, and Simon reels backlike he’s been slapped.

“Sorry that sleeping with me was sucha nightmare.” He says coldly, and it feels like being doused in frigidwater, to see the way Simon’s eyes glitter, and Jace’s fury rises out of him,sudden and overwhelming.

“You don’t get to say anything,”Jace snaps, “you’re the one who wanted to pretend nothing happened.”

“Nothing – “ Simon growlswordlessly and shoves at Jace. “You ranout on me!”

“I’m not going to be yourrebound, I am not your second choice,Simon.” Jace says, and his voice is wrecked and anguished and he feels like he’ssuffocating. He needs to get out of here. He pushes away from the wall, barelylooking at Simon as he shoves his way through the crowd and tries to get to thedoor, tries to get out, but there’s ahand on his wrist and he’s suddenly being spun around and pushed down acorridor.

It’s Simon, his eyes blazing as Jace stumbles backwards, right into an openroom, and it’s a painful echo of the last time they were here, with Jace laidout bare in front of Simon, every wall he’d ever put up crumbling in the wakeof Simon’s force.

“I’d been in love with you for months,”Simon says, his voice hard and angry, “and Clary and I broke up because tryingto forget about our feelings for other people wasn’t working out. Youdon’t get to decide what I feel.”

“What do you feel.” Jace repeats dumbly, because he doesn’t know whatto say, doesn’t know how to accept this when he’s been torturing himself withit for what feels like the longest time. Simon knows how take him apart and puthim back together and it hurts; hewants to feel something more, he wants to be the reason Simon smiles.

“You’re who I want.” Simon says, and his voice is low, his handsshaking as they come up to grip Jace’s arms. “That night, I – it meantsomething to me. It meant everything.”

“Me too.” Jace half-whispers, and they’re looking at each other forhalf a second, moonlight filtering over Simon’s cheeks, the noise of the partymuted behind them, and suddenly they’re both moving forward, throwingthemselves at each other. They kiss, fiercely, like it’s the last chance they’llget to, Simon immediately shoving his tongue down Jace’s throat and Jace slamminghim against the closest wall. Simon’s nails rake down Jace’s back, and he feelsthe tell-tale bloom of pain, coupled with the sharp spike of pleasure at Simon markinghim, Simon wanting him.

“I love you,” Jace manages to get out between kisses, cradling Simon’sface between his palms as he tugs at Simon’s bottom lip with his teeth, “and it’skilling me, it’s – I don’t know what to do.”

“I know.” Simon says, and it’s mournful, but his eyes are clear when helooks back at Jace. “I trust you.”

I don’t trust myself Jacewants to say, but it gets lost as Simon palms him roughly through his jeans andkisses him again, softer this time, sweeter. It’s gentle, and it breaks Jace’sheart. A clean cut, something that feels like a new beginning rather than anending.

Okay, Jace thinks, and hekisses back. Somewhere in his chest, something delicately hopeful starts tobloom.

#jimon #jace wayland #simon lewis #shadowhunters #i write sometimes #finals just quadruples my productivity in writing

156 notes · View notes

singingwordwright · 7 years

Link

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Shadowhunters (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Characters: Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood Additional Tags: 2x15 speculation, 2x15 promo stills, False Memories, or are they?, I really have no idea how to tag this, Cheating, Maybe, sometimes people make bad choices, see notes Summary:

Magnus isn't sleeping well. Haunted by his experiences with the agony rune, he has to question which of his memories is real, and which of them aren't.

MAY CONTAIN SEMI-SPOILERS FOR 2x15 - BEWARE

Notes: This fic is something of an intellectual exercise. There's a lot of speculation about the 2x15 production stills, particularly the fact that Magnus and Alec are more or less wearing the same clothing they were when Alec went to Magnus's loft in 1x12. When coupled with production team tweets about a possible flashback to Season 1, people are hypothesizing that there was more to that scene than we saw.

We don't know, and we won't know until July 10. And I honestly don't think anything I describe in this fic would actually happen, but I just had to try to make the theories make sense in my head, and this is what I came up with.

Depending on your definition of the term, this fic contains scenes of infidelity. Read at your own risk.

It’s not yet sunrise when Alec awakens tangled the crimson satin bedding. The sheets beside him are cold; he’s been alone in bed for a while.

He finds Magnus exactly where he knows he will, sipping tea out on the balcony in the pre-dawn light. Alec shuffles his feet as he approaches to avoid startling him. Magnus turns his head slightly to look over his shoulder, the side of his mouth lifting in a half-hearted greeting.

“Couldn’t sleep again?” Alec murmurs, dropping a kiss on the side of Magnus’s neck as he wraps his arms around him from behind, then rests his chin on Magnus’s shoulder.

Magnus’s shrug jostles him. “I’m getting used to it. I should be already, really. It’s not like I haven’t seen dawn from the wrong side many, many times. Usually those occasions involve very complicated jobs for clients or raucous parties, however. Insomnia isn’t usually my thing.”

Alec draws a slow breath. “Look, I know you haven’t wanted to talk about it, and I don’t want to push. But maybe if you were to get some it out there and stop stewing…” Magnus shakes his head quickly, but for the first time Alec doesn’t stop. “Whatever it is, Magnus, you can tell me. I swear. Whatever memories that agony rune brought to the surface, they’re not going to drive me away.”

Magnus pulls away from Alec’s loose hug and sets his teacup on the balcony railing, clasping his hands on the edge of the stonework. “I know that Alexander. And if it were just memories of the distant past, it’d be one thing.”

“What else is it?” Alec steps forward to stand beside him, shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip, looking over the river at the city.

Magnus glances sideways at him. “Do you have any idea what an agony rune does?”

“Only what it says in the Grey Book. I’m guessing the experience is something else entirely. But it’s supposed to amplify the memories of the most traumatic things that have ever happened to you, or the things which haunt you the worst.” With centuries of life behind him, Magnus must have plenty of memories for the rune to pull from. “Loss, guilt, fear. It makes it so real it’s like living it all over again.”

“All that and more.” Magnus laughs bitterly. “I don’t know if what I experienced was part of the normal agony rune package, or if my experience was somehow affected also by the fact that I was a warlock’s soul trapped inside a Shadowhunter body, but there was something else. There were plenty of terrible memories based upon awful experiences, yes, but it also...created memories where none existed before. Of things I fear, things that hurt me, many of which never actually happened.”

“Like what?” Alec turns to face him fully. Magnus’s eyes are distant and a little glassy. His knuckles are white where he grasps the railing.

“I couldn’t begin to list them all.” Alec suspects Magnus is trying for a blithe tone, but he falls far short. “Not surprisingly, you feature heavily in a few of them. Losing you, specifically.” There’s something very fragile about Magnus as he speaks those words. Like the slightest jostle will shatter him. “Your death, of course. Sudden and violent, fighting demons tomorrow or the next day, or fighting Valentine, or even decades from now, after a lifetime together. But those aren’t the worst ones. The worst ones are the ones where you just...walk out on me.”

“Walk out?” Surprise makes Alec’s voice a little sharper than he intends. “It’ll never happen.”

Magnus’s Adam’s apple bobs sharply as he swallows. “You don’t get it. It did.”

“I won’t ask again.”

Magnus knows the little disappearing trick is a petty touch, giving him the opportunity to get the last word in, and sparing him the ordeal of hearing another rejection. But he’s entitled to a little pettiness after the way Alec just accused him of playing games when he’s laid it all on the line for Alec in a way that he hasn’t done for another person in decades, and thought he’d never do for a Shadowhunter.

He rifles through a few papers lying on the desk where he meets with clients and waits for the sound of the door closing behind Alec. But instead, he hears footfalls. Just a few. Slow, meandering, like they have no idea where to go.

He calls out. “Magnus please. Please.” His voice doesn’t quite crack, but there’s a ragged edge of emotion there that suggests cracking isn’t outside the realm of possibility. Like his footsteps, Alec sounds lost, and it tugs at something inside Magnus.

Sympathy is something he can’t afford right now, but it’s there, and it has been since Alec admitted that he didn’t know if he was in love with Lydia. This poor, beautiful boy doesn’t even know what love is, and that’s an absolute tragedy, that’s what it is. Because for all his contentious dealings with the Clave, Magnus has known too many Shadowhunters to be under the impression that the passions of the Nephilim burn gently. No, once set ablaze, those passions are an inferno, one that can immolate and purify, and maybe even destroy.

But Alec will never know that, never know what it is to be consumed by that fire. Not on the path that he’s determined to walk. Magnus can’t afford to be moved by that fact, and yet he is. He wants to help Alec, even wants to help Lydia, but there’s nothing…

Except there is.

No. No, that’s just...no. Absolutely not.

That’s a low Magnus to which has never brought himself to knowingly stoop. And if Alec were to go along with it, he wouldn’t be the sort of man for whom Magnus should be feeling this level of turmoil anyway.

No.

“I don’t know what to do. I’m going to ruin everything and I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t know what’s right anymore.” Alec calls out from the other room, his voice getting quieter with each sentence, trailing away. “Just...help me, Magnus. Please. Tell me what to do.

His feet are in motion, pulled by that plaintive murmur, carrying him back to the living room even before Magnus really even decides to go. He stops in the doorway, his heart breaking a little to see Alec slumped dejectedly against one of the red brick pillars. His head is bowed, his eyes closed, and he just looks broken.

Magnus places one foot steadily, deliberately before the other as he crosses the room, taking his time with those slow strides. He needs the time, needs to sit with this decision in his mind for a moment. He’s crossing a line he’s always sworn he would never cross. It’s wrong, it’s a mistake, it will end badly, and he knows that.

He takes that moment of strolling toward Alec to wrap his head around it, to accept it and all its inevitable fallout. When this is all over, he won’t be able to indulge in self-serving denials. He’s fully aware of what he’s doing.

He’s going to do it anyway.

Alec’s head snaps up when Magnus’s toes enter his line of sight. The expression on his face as as lost and shattered as his tone of voice was, and again that pulls at something inside Magnus, dragging him into Alec’s orbit against all better judgment.

“Kiss me,” Magnus says, making his voice firmer than his resolve.

It takes Alec a moment to comply, and Magnus is glad for that. Glad to see Alec go through the same process of knowing it’s wrong and making the choice to walk unflinching into that wrongness.

And then Alec swallows. Licks his lips. Slides one hand gently along Magnus’s jaw and lays his mouth on Magnus’s.

The first tentative brush of Alec’s lips across his jolts him like an electric shock. Magnus’s lungs empty of breath on a startled gasp, which Alec swallows as his lips part and he closes in the kill.

And Magnus learns that for all his centuries, he knows nothing.

It’s not just a kiss, it’s a maelstrom, and it rips apart everything Magnus ever even imagined he knew and flings it all into the wild winds. Alec falls back against the brick pillar, letting it support them both. His hands are on the nape of Magnus’s neck and the small of his back, dragging him closer. His tongue sweeps across Magnus’s lips and then plunges inside, and Magnus’s heart thuds against his ribcage like an enraged stallion kicking his stall.

What hubris made him think he could teach this torn Nephilim boy what passion means?

By the time they wrench themselves apart, they’re both hard and shaking with need. Magnus’s hands have found their way under the hem of Alec’s shirt, fingers spanning the corded muscles and warm skin of Alec’s back.

And Alec...Alec looks just devastated.

His cheeks are flushed, his lips swollen, and his eyes...his eyes are almost feral, filled with confusion and fear and need.

“I didn’t know,” he rasps desperately. “I never—never knew.”

Neither did I, Magnus wants to say, but the words that fall from his lips are far different.

“Give me one night. Just one.” Magnus bows his head and takes another moment to accept that he will never be able to reconcile this decision with what he knows to be right. It is wrong, but nothing feels as wrong as letting Alec leave without at least trying to see where this might lead them. “If you can still walk away in the morning, I won’t try to stop you.”

Alec’s eyes close. His brow furrows for a moment. Then he meets Magnus’s gaze and takes his hand with all the willful trepidation of Eve reaching for the apple.

They stumble to the bedroom amid frenzied kisses and hands grasping for whatever purchase they can find. Alec sweeps the satin of Magnus’s robe off his shoulder and his open mouth lays a trail of heated kisses along the skin he’s bared. When Magnus had chosen to appear in dishabille for this meeting, his intent had been merely to tantalize. He hadn’t planned quite so literal a seduction, but he’s not backing away now. He tongues the rune on Alec’s neck and reaches low, dragging a groan from Alec’s throat as he tugs him into full contact.

Alec is trembling. The way he keeps moving back and forth between desperate determination and astonished wonder tells Magnus everything he needs to know about Alec’s level of experience. Perhaps that should have some relevance, but it just doesn’t right now. Scruples have ceased to be a thing that matters.

Alec’s shaking hands pull the belt on Magnus’s robe free and slip inside. His hot breath gusts against Magnus’s ear. “I just...Just once, Magnus, I need to…”

Magnus cuts him off with another kiss, hard and demanding. He doesn’t want to hear it, that confirmation of what he already knows.

He’s being used. Alec doesn’t mean to do it, but that’s what this is. One moment in a lifetime of self-denial. One taste of what he can never let himself have. In the morning, all the reasons Alec is selling any hope of joy in his short, mortal life to the Clave will still be there, and he’ll carry through with his wedding.

Magnus buys time with that fierce kiss to reconcile himself to these facts. He shoves Alec’s jacket to the floor, drags Alec’s shirt over his head, and pulls him by the hand onto the bed.

Alec doesn’t try to make excuses or justify what he’s done, or what he will do. If nothing else, Magnus has to admire him for that. After the third round (or is it fourth? A couple of them really just melded together) he falls asleep, but Magnus doesn’t dare close his eyes. If he does, he knows Alec will be gone when he opens them again.

Instead, he leaves the bed, his heart heavy and his body humming with the memory of pleasure. He pulls on his discarded robe and and greets the dawn with a cup of tea, grasping for all the calm he can muster to power through these final moments and somehow convince Alec he’s okay with it all.

“Tell me honestly,” he asks when he hears Alec’s shuffling footsteps behind him. “What is it you’re afraid of? What’s the worst possible outcome if you don’t go through with this wedding?”

“Whatever will happen if Izzy and Max don’t have the Lightwood name and connections to protect them,” he says with no hesitation. “That trial—well, you saw. You saw how the Clave treats someone in disgrace. How they scapegoat someone. When Clary brought the Cup back, I thought maybe—maybe that would be enough, that we found the Mortal Cup and brought it back to the Clave. I thought maybe I could talk to Lydia and she’d understand. I-I-I think she really would.”

“But?”

“But now it turns out not only have we been helping Valentine’s daughter, we’ve been harboring his son for years.” He huffs humorlessly. “My parents got off lightly for what they did when they were in the Circle, because of our name. Hodge didn’t have that, and look where he is. I can’t let that happen to my little brother and sister.”

“Alexander, do you really believe Isabelle would want you to sacrifice your own happiness to protect her?” Magnus finally turns to face him. Alec is adorably tousled and there’s a glow to him that wasn’t there before last night. He looks like a man who has received divine revelation. Magnus shakes his head and sighs. “You have to know she didn’t ask me to be her advocate because she thought I had any hope of swaying the Inquisitor. Me? Persuade Imogen Herondale? That was never going to happen.”

Alec’s confused frown would be precious, if Magnus’s heart weren’t breaking for the dilemma Alec finds himself in. Magnus takes pity on him and lays it out plainly. “She asked me to represent her in the hope that seeing me again might convince you to call off your engagement. She blew her last shot at avoiding being deruned to try to help you find some happiness after she was gone.”

Alec closes his eyes. “Even if that’s true, it was before we knew about Jace. Now that we do—”

“Even the Branwell name might not be enough to spare you the fallout from that one,” Magnus says. Alec winces and nods. “But let’s be honest, Alec. Max is too young to suffer any consequences for your family’s actions, and Isabelle would rather deal with whatever happens on her own terms. You have two possible futures laid before you. One is miserable but at least it’s familiar: duty and obligation, self-sacrifice and denial. The other is something you can’t even conceive the shape of. It’s completely unknown, and that’s what really scares you, isn’t it? You don’t know who you are if you’re not denying yourself in the name of family.”

The look Alec gives him should by all rights be bleak, but instead it’s tender. He doesn’t smile, but his hands fall on Magnus’s waist and he pulls him close. Alec’s lips brush his, and then he lingers there with Magnus, resting forehead to forehead, breathing the same air.

“I swear, Magnus, if I thought I’d be the only one who had to pay the price, I’d find out. For you, I’d take that chance.”

“Well, that’s...lovely to hear.” Magnus is pleased his voice doesn’t sound as fragile as his composure feels. He smiles and steps back, patting Alec’s chest. “You may wish to tidy up. Before you return to...the Institute.”

He can’t say her name. He likes her, but he’s done her a great wrong and he hates her a little right now anyway. It’s an enmity he has no business feeling. She’s the only innocent one in this mess now.

He spends the moments Alec is washing putting himself together. He belts his robe, fingers his hair into shape, and refreshes his now-tepid tea.

“I should...I should get going,” Alec mutters when he reappears, sidling toward the door. He’s used a healing rune to get rid of the lovebites that had speckled his throat.

Magnus smiles blandly and nods. “Of course. Good luck, Alexander.”

When Alec turns away, Magnus murmurs an incantation under his breath and plucks the memory of the last twelve hours from Alec’s mind, molding its replacement into a boring evening of last-minute wedding plans, a demon hunt that kept him out until almost daybreak, and a strained but benign call upon Magnus to consult on Jocelyn Fairchild’s condition.

If he’s honest with himself, Magnus isn’t sure if it’s petty revenge or kindness driving him. Maybe both. Maybe he wants to take that one memory Alec was so desperate to make, leaving Alec with even less than Alec is leaving him with.

But it’s also true that that memory will haunt Alec. It’ll strangle him with guilt and with a yearning for something he knows he can never have again. It’ll drive him to despair, or to acts he’ll loathe himself for.

Alec’s chances of finding at least some contentment are far better without it.

Alec turns abruptly, glancing around the room in confusion. “Did you say something?”

“I said good luck finding the warlock who bespelled Jocelyn,” Magnus answers calmly. He even manages a smile. “Please, don’t hesitate to have the Institute call me if they wish to confer further on the matter. I’ll even offer a discounted rate.”

Alec frowns, but eventually nods. Magnus turns away, unable to watch him leave.

The sound of the door closing a moment later is like a gavel falling.

“You don’t get it. It did.”

Alec tries to make sense of that statement and can’t. “I don’t understand. Do you mean in the detention cell?”

Magnus’s fists clench. This isn’t the cold, vacant distress Alec has seen him in so often since his ordeal in Valentine’s body. There’s something frantic to this.

“It’s not like remembering a nightmare, Alexander, not even a particularly vivid one. The memories that rune made are real, every bit as real as if I had actually lived through the experience. So I can’t always tell which memories are true anymore.” He sighs raggedly. “Some of them I can. Obviously, you’re still here, so I know the ones where I saw you die are false. But others...I just can’t be sure.”

“I can.” Alec gently grips Magnus’s shoulders and turns him until they’re face to face. “I’d remember walking out on you.”

Magnus hesitates at that. “Not...if I took the memory from you.”

Alec freezes. “You wouldn’t do that to me,” he says, trying for certainty and falling far short.

Magnus scoffs. “Wouldn’t I? If it seemed like an act of mercy at the time? If I thought I was setting you free?”

Alec swallows thickly. He can’t imagine the circumstances under which Magnus would ever do such a thing—which is really sort of a problem, isn’t it? What if he can’t imagine those circumstances because he can’t remember them?

He hates himself for doubting. Shakes his head and resolutely pushes the thought away.

“No. No, we’re not doing this. We’re not going to play ‘what it’ games and second guess whether we can trust each other and ourselves. Not now,” Alec says adamantly. The thought that Magnus would betray him like that gnaws inside him, and he squashes it ruthlessly. Even if it really did happen, he repaid that betrayal with interest down there in that cell when he ignored Magnus’s desperate pleas for help and trussed him up to be murdered.

No more of this.

“Whatever happened—if it happened, or if it’s a false memory created by that rune—whatever choice we made, they don’t matter now. I chose you, Magnus. I tried to walk out, once, but in the end I still turned away from that altar and everything it meant, and I chose you. That’s all there is to it. I’m not going anywhere and that’s what’s important. Anything else, we can deal with. Okay?”

Magnus closes his eyes but eventually he nods. When Alec tries to draw him in, he willingly steps into Alec’s arms and accepts his gentle kiss.

“Will you tell me about it? Whatever it is you don’t know really happened?” Alec asks softly, because he can’t help himself. He needs to know now.

Magnus swallows. “I will...but not today, please. Today I think I’d rather just enjoy the sunrise, and knowing that you’ll still be here when it’s over.”

Alec smiles and tightens his arms. “I can live with that.”

BUY ME A CUP OF COFFEE!!

#sh fanfic #malec #s2ep15 #sh speculation #my fics #s2b

37 notes · View notes