Techno’s Can’t/Shouldn’t List (Part 2)

Wrestling Steve is strictly prohibited. (Luckily he recognizes smaller = no full strength.)

Still not fire proof (Good thing Nikki’s good at first aid.)

Firewood must be cut to smaller logs. (Please Techno you’re gonna pull something)

So I was doing some studies tonight and had a thought - so in my AccidentalHuman AU the reason Techno looks like an elven prince when his regular form is a big pig is because he’s young.

Piglins- I headcanon as having longer lifespans (they grow fast as children and then taper off as adults) and as the Blood God’s Champion even more so. He’s kind of in his gangly phase - where he’s just long and hasn’t filled out yet. Even as a piglin hybrid he’s considered young- a young adult but still kind of baby faced yanno?

Which brings me to this: If Techno was turned human when he was older he’d look more rugged. More filled out and less baby faced (unless he shaved XD)

I mean this man is a farmer right?

Dream could definitely take him. Not. Not in a fight.

About the Accidental Human AU!! I love it! But, consider: now that Techno is a Human Twink(TM) he can go unnoticed into the town to spy, right? It's an amazing opportunity, no he isn't crazy, it's an amazing idea

See the thing is - it would work. Only because Techno seems to live on LoonyToon logic.

“Look at this guy, got himself a wanted poster - couldn’t be me”

Dream and Phil are audibly facepalming in the background.

What abt human techno going into the nether just as normal, without any golden armor, and then getting hunted out by piglins? As a piglin, other piglins wouldn't care about him, but now they do :3

You’re right - usually he doesn’t have to worry as much going into the Nether. He kind of forgot that was a privilege he had as a giant Piglin hybrid. Well let’s just say the locals are… a little bigger than Techno remembers.

(Since Techno’s a hybrid both regular Piglins and Brutes are a bit bigger than him - but never like this)

I’m so in for AccidentalHumanAU

Techno taking (as much) advantage as a human:

Dream:

He can’t help it! Techno’s looking at him with his face!!! His very handsome face!!

I feel like Human!Techno would try different style choices with this opportunity.

It's just a funny thought to think of Technoblade wearing really high heels or thighs lmaoo

Oh- Or even a dress! Maybe one that Niki gifted him lol

Oh yeah there’s definitely a fashion show XD

He also tried on Dream’s look

I might add more later - I’m having fun drawing clothes XD

not to get all soft here but c!dream peering at accidentally human c!techno and then carefully tracing his fingers over techno's face as if he's trying to learn his features, trying to commit them to memory because it's not the techno he's used to but it's still his techno. - loyal simplepotatofarmer

Hi Loyal @simplepotatofarmer! Welcome~ welcome~ I'm always down for soft.

After all the shenanigans and things settle into the new “normal” Dream gets a moment to really look at Techno, he’s hurt himself again and Dream’s patching him up and then Techno gives him this look.

And certain expressions don’t translate well on nonhuman features - is the lie Dream’s been telling himself… but Techno’s giving him the same look as always, and well…

“Oh.”

Surprised how nobody asked that before but in your Au, Uh Niki is human right ?, does she ever give Techno some kind of lessons or advice when trying to get him used to his human form ?

Oh yeah she's the person Techno goes to the most outside Phil and Dream.

Both Dream and Phil are more big picture guys - so they tend to forget some of the finer details of being human. That’s where Niki comes in - she’s been making sure that Techno is keeping himself healthy while all of this is going on. (‘Specially with food - Piglins can eat things that are normally toxic to humans)

She’s also been the first aid person because we all know Dream’s the “chug a potion and go” kind of guy.

Aside from the physical stuff, she’s also been the person Techno confides in when it’s something he can’t really share with Dream or Phil. (Phil because he’s a huge gossip and will be waggling his eyebrows at Techno, and Dream because he’s… part of the problem XD)

With this drawing - just imagine Techno’s “Ah hahaha ha - ahem” from his lore stream with DreamXD

Dream can carry human Techno now probably

Runs and jumps at him and Dream catches him

Techno did try that at one point - one thing that didn’t change was that he’s still taller than Dream and uh… well—

Things Techno Currently (Can’t/Shouldn't) Do:

Carrying more than one dog is not advisable. (Techno used to be able to carry two at a time, one under each arm.)

Meals can not be more than two plates (Techno used to polish off 6 after sparring)

No fire. (Piglins are semi fire-resistant, not fireproof though.)

I’ll be adding more as ideas come in - feel free to suggest things too. I’m having a lot of fun with this AU.

Big pig Techno suddenly turning into smol anime twink Techno and not being able to do things for a bit because his body is different and weird and weaker and human Dream being there to help and protect him

I actually have an AU kind of like that - Techno gets transformed into a person and Dream is not ready for it. In the mean time while Phil, Nikki, and Ranboo search for a cure, Dream has the fun job of keeping Techno alive cuz he doesn’t understand he’s a lot squishier now.

Techno’s having way too much fun with the whole situation XD

In your AU, is there a slim chance that Techno felt annoyed that he's become less bigger in his human form ? Or maybe Dream had experience disappointment cuz Techno no longer... Y'know, Fluffy ? 🤣

I think with Techno's nature he's pretty go with the flow. It is annoying that his usual routine has been disrupted, and him being unable to bear hug his friends as usual has him feeling a little down, but over all I don't think he finds it too bad. Everyone's easier to grab and hug and he doesn't have to worry as much about hurting them by grabbing too hard. He does feel bad though that everyone's working hard to fix something he doesn't feel is a huge problem. (He'd like to turn back eventually - but this is a fun experience so far.)

For Dream though it's a little different. He feels bad that Techno's become human without his consent (and it’s his fault) and he thinks Techno's covering up how upset he is by the whole situation with humor. So he tries to make up for it by taking care of Techno. (He also does kind of miss how fluffy Techno was.) It takes a while before the two are on the same page 😅

Human!Techno being upset that he sort of lost all his clothes

Only slightly XD he’s made clothes for Dream before (so the man wouldn’t freeze in the Arctic) and has mended Phil’s and his own on many occasions so it wasn’t too hard to make a new wardrobe. It was a bit of an adjustment though ^^

cdream is having more gay panics by seeing human!techno (he already had them before)

He’s very conflicted - on one hand Techno’s hot either way, on the other Dream feels horrible because he’s kind of responsible for Techno turning human and he thinks it’s a bad thing. The guilt kind of eats at him for a while.

In this AU it’s a mutual liking (problem is neither’s said anything), Techno’s just taking advantage of the fact he’s closer to Dream’s height to just stare into his (pretty) eyes and lean all over him because he doesn’t have to worry about being too heavy.

All of this is done with things like “Ooops drank too much must lean on someone to not fall over~” etc.

Dream’s… trying his best not to combust.

So

Who does it belong to?

Am I gonna make you simp for the old man?

…

Yeah I think I’m gonna