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calumsargwife · 6 months

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'i told them about you.'

calum hood x fem!reader

summary: for the first time in a while, Calum tells his friends about you

warnings: bad language maybe, mentions of drinking or smoking. (English is not my first language so there may be some grammatical errors, sorry!)

word count: 1.9k

note: hey! i know this took a while but here it is! i hope you guys like it. question: do you think i should also write for other people? maybe characters from movies or smth. tell me your thoughts!

"So, how's this new girl going?" Luke asked with his second drink of the night in hand.

As they normally do, the boys had gotten together today to hang out, to see each other in another context other than work (as if they didn't see each other every day already).

They had dinner and were now having some drinks prepared by Ashton, who had 'accidentally' made the drinks a little stronger than normal.

"Yeah, you haven't told us anything about her." Michael added as he sat in one of the single chairs.

Calum sighed as he took a drag on his cigarette and sat down in the large armchair in the living room, trying to hold back a smile as he exhaled the smoke from his mouth.

"What's that smile for, uh?" Ashton teased and pinched Calum's arm, also with one drink on the other hand.

"Don't know..." Calum modestly answered.

"Aw, c'mon. Just tell us something!" Michael insisted.

"How long have you been dating already?" Luke questioned as he smiled mischievously at the other two boys.

Ok, the truth is, you two weren't dating, you were still just getting to know each other and the boys knew it, they just liked watching Calum get all red.

"Two months." Calum answered shortly as he diverted his gaze towards the large window, which gave the view of of the tall illuminated buildings; the suppressed smile on his lips made his cheeks hurt. He remembered that surely you would love to have one of these windows, you liked to have a great view of the entire city.

"And...?" Ashton pressed.

Calum took another drag of his cigarette, exhaled the smoke and sighed to give the long-awaited response to his friends. "Wrote a song about her."

There was a moment of silence as everyone processed what was said until Ashton spoke again. "There's no fucking way." He spoke in disbelief while he leaned his back on the chair in surprise.

"A song?" Michael asked you. "About this girl?" The boy turned his head to look at his friends with wide eyes. "You've never done anything like this so quickly."

They weren't wrong. Calum was normally one to have casual relationships, he said he was in a moment in which he couldn't focus on a completely exclusive relationship with so much commitment. I mean, he and the guys were at the peak of their career now, they were recording an album, doing a lot of interviews, maybe they were going on tour and... well, he just didn't have the time.

So it's obvious that his friends are confused. Calum was quite strict about the rule of not dating for a long time.

"What changed?" Luke asked, who was now analyzing his friend a little more.

"Her." Calum responded immediately without taking his eyes off the window. "She changed everything." He said now taking his eyes off the window and looking directly at the group. "She broke every rule that I could have ever set for myself."

Calum finished his cigarette and placed it in the ashtray on the living room table. "So, I wrote her a song."

"Damn."

"I know." Calum sentenced with a smile while he rubbed his hands and played with one of his rings, the one you gave him for his recent birthday. A birthday that the boys assumed had ended early because of you. "I just really like her, you know?" Calum raised his head to look at his friends. "I know it sounds crazy but..." he tried to explain himself.

"No, it's alright... I get it, really." Luke interrupted him. Calum quickly turned his eyes to him.

"Really?"

"Yeah, man." Luke answered with a smile and looked at his friend tenderly. "Maybe you're falling in love, who knows." He teased.

The boys laughed at the joke. Calum laughed lightly and looked out the window again, instantly thinking of you. Luke's joke resonated in his head, maybe it wasn't that crazy.

That night While Calum was telling the boys about you, that same night, they spent the night over together at Michael's and Calum was the first to wake up and leave. He didn't say anything but he was walking frantically around the house while he picked up his things and had breakfast with his friends, who were very relaxed sitting in their chairs while looking at Calum with an amused expression.

Once in his car, Calum began to reflect. He had to pick you up at your house in exactly twenty minutes to go have lunch together at his house.

He knew he had changed, he knew he was different and that things were different with you. And he didn't see it as a bad thing, really. Because for the first time, he was taking his time to do things the right way. He wanted to know you well before making things official, he wanted to know you deeply.

Calum was enjoying this little secret situation of getting to know each other. He liked that no one knows what's happening and that it is something that only he can witness. He was fascinated by the feeling of privacy and that no one could steal those moments, they were his and his alone. So, telling his friends about you was a big step for him.

Calum liked you a lot, so he couldn't contain his smile as he turned the corner of your house while simultaneously trying to remember that spice you like so much in salads, he wanted to have it mentally written down.

His smile widened when he saw you standing waiting at the door of your house. He got out of the car and came out to greet you with open arms.

"Hello there, beautiful." He greeted as he eagerly brought his lips to yours without waiting for any response from you.

You giggled before connecting your lips to Calum's. "Hey..." You received another kiss from him on your cheek. "I missed you."

"Me too." Calum had recently started to admit that he missed you when you weren't together. You couldn't deny that you liked the feeling of him missing you. It warms your heart a little every time he says it.

Calum at first was... complicated, to say the least. You really had a lot of patience and trust in the process because this guy wasn't easy. He was very closed to the idea of being in a relationship again or even trying to be in one. It took a while for him to really open up fully, you knew who he was before you started dating and Calum was careful about it. He thought that at first he couldn't trust you, but oh how wrong he was.

You were the most fantastic person Calum had met in recent years: completely honest and spontaneous, you were really patient with him, you never rushed him or pressured him into anything.

Maybe it sounds like you chased him around but the reality is that it was Calum who asked you out (as contradictory as it may sound) after having seen you several times in the same places as him, he developed a crush on you the moment he saw you.

So being here now, opening his car door for you to go to his house, makes it seem like everything was really worth it.

"Have you made any progress on that song you told me about?" You asked after the trip started, your hands intertwined, you felt Calum's finger lightly caress your hand. You definitely didn't know that Calum had written you a song.

Calum smiled to himself as you remembered what he told you, something he was excited about. "A little bit yes, we've been with the boys defining the chords a little so then moving on to polishing the lyrics a little more."

"Sounds fun." You answered him while with a sweet smile observing the panorama through the window.

Calum looked at your profile for a bit and sighed discreetly.

"And how are you doing with your thesis?" He asked you now. "Have you been able to find out anything else or...?"

You laughed a little before answering. "It's not a thesis, it's a research." You gave him a tender caress on the cheek when you saw that he didn't remember the difference. Calum did know the difference, he just likes to play dumb with you so he can see you explaining the same thing to him for the fifth time. "But it's going well, we changed the methodology so it's giving us better results."

The small, casual conversation continued throughout the remainder of the trip. Once they arrived, you didn't wait for Calum to open the door for you before rushing to his house, eager to see his little dog, Duke.

"Why do you seem more excited to see my dog than me?" He asked with an amused smile as he reached your side at the door.

"Because I am." You answered without looking him.

"Rude." Calum answered as he pretended to be offended.

You giggled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Once the door opened, Duke instantly jumped onto your lap. While you were busy greeting the dog, Calum went to the kitchen to start preparing lunch.

Minutes later you joined him and you began cooking a simple but delicious lunch: a classic pasta. Calum was fascinated, he'd never tell you but deep inside he was completely giggling and kicking his feet. Everything came so naturally to the two of you, nothing was forced and you functioned as if you had known each other your whole life.

After a while, the two were eating in Calum's dining room. You made casual small talk, mostly in silence as you enjoyed the food. Calum savored this moment and tried to imprint moments of this tranquility into his brain.

"You know..." He began as he took a sip of his drink. "The guys..."

"Your bandmates?" You finished his sentence.

He nodded. "I told them about you."

Now you were in shock.

He told his best friends?

He told them about you?

You did know that they knew Calum was seeing someone. But that he told them specifically about you.

Wow.

Now that was a big step. Especially for Calum. You knew how much his bandmates meant to him, how much he trusted them. You also knew how Calum hadn't been in anything serious with anyone for quite some time, so it was probably a surprise to them as well.

You swallowed nervously. "Oh really?"

"Yeah, and they were happy for me." He answered you with a sweet smile as he blushed a little and looked down at his plate.

"Well, I'm happy for you too." You told him with your most honest smile as you took his hand across the table and gave it a light caress.

"They want to meet you..." Calum told you, a little nervous that you would say no. "And I want you to meet them too, honestly."

"Seriously?" You tried to contain your surprise. It wasn't a secret that you were also a fan of the guys's music, so you felt the pressure.

Calum nodded with a smile and looked into your eyes again. You saw hope in them, he didn't want you to say no. "Then I would love to, it would be an honor, really."

Calum smiled happily and pulled your hand to pull you over to where he was sitting at the table. He smiled and sat you on his lap. "Thank you, it means the world to me." He told you with a genuine smile while with one hand he caressed your waist and his other hand cupped your face and brought you close for a sweet kiss.

As you shared that kiss, Calum couldn't help but feel a great emotion inside of him, for the first time in a long time, he had a good feeling about this.

#5sos blurb #5sos fic #5sos x reader #calum 5 seconds of summer #calum blurb #calum hood #calum hood fluff #calum hood x reader #calum hood x y/n #calum imagine

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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AITA for being upset at how my former friends treated me?

tw: suicide and animal death

So for some context this was a very close knit friendgroup, for several years, of about 10 people, including me and my then partner. Also, everyone here is an adult.

Basically, one day I was in a really really bad place mentally. A beloved family pet was going to be put down soon, this dog had been a part of my life for almost half my life, and I was inconsolable and struggling to cope with this. During a discussion about some random interest I got too mean/harsh about it and it turned into an argument.

I know this was not justified and my grief wasn't an excuse, and I knew it then too and apologized to the people involved, and was met with overwhelming support, I was told "it's ok, we understand you're going through a rough thing right now, we're here to support you and you'll always have a place in this group"

Then my partner messaged me. They had not been part of the discussion at all, but they told me they felt hurt and wanted us to take a break. However, I misinterpreted that as a break up (combination of language barrier and me already being in shambles. This miscommunication is not something my ex can be blamed for)

This was an extremely serious relationship, we had been together for 2 years at that point and had a lot of future plans and such, so that on top of already grieving made me have a mental breakdown.

So, I vented on my personal tumblr. My vents did not mention/vague/allude to the situation at all, they amounted to "I feel terrible I can't do this anymore" and could very well have been only about my dog, or just about my depression in general. I also should point out that my ex doesn't use tumblr at all, so I didn't think he'd ever see those vents, and I certainly didn't want him to. And I also would not have reacted like that if I had known it was a temporary break. I know I still shouldn't have vented on a public blog, and it was hurtful no matter what. I wasn't thinking clearly at the time.

The next day, after our dog was put down, I sought support from my friends, but was suddenly met with "we're not impressed with how you've acted, get therapy, bye" and was kicked from the group. Several of them blocked me everywhere instantly.

Unbeknownst to me, someone had sent my vents to my ex and they had shown them to the others, and they'd drawn the conclusion that I was upset about a temporary break and was venting to try to guilt my ex into getting back with me. And not a single one of them brought this up to me. Again, we'd all been friends for several years at that point and this was literally the day after telling me I'd always be a part of the group and they were here for me. I couldn't even defend myself because no one would tell me anything, I asked many times but was told "you know what you did" even though I clearly didn't. I thought they'd all changed their minds about the previous day out of nowhere, or that this was because of (what I thought was) the breakup. I only learned what they actually thought much later. Oh, and my ex told me I needed therapy and he never wanted anything to do with me again (which is when I learned I'd been wrong about the breakup).

Again, I know me venting was harmful no matter what, so in that regard I am the asshole, but I still feel like there's a difference between what I did and deliberate manipulation, and surely people I'd been friends with for years could have spoken to me before assuming things?

So at that point I'd lost a beloved pet, my partner, and most of my close friends, within a day. So at that point I tried but failed to commit suicide, and was hospitalized.

While in the hospital, I didn't get a single word from any of my friends, except for one person. Supposedly, everyone had been "worried out of their minds" when they saw my suicide note. But not worried enough for a single word.

Even the one person who talked to me got extremely defensive and angry if I so much as implied I felt hurt by the group's actions. They even tried to hold it over my head how "despite everything you did X and Y were super worried about you" as if being worried about someone comitting suicide is some kind of heroic saint.

I asked to be allowed to talk things out with them, but was told "the others aren't comfortable associating with you", so I had to write a fucking google doc letter. I explained the situation from my perspective, apologized for my actions etc, but also made it clear that I felt hurt and didn't think their reaction was justified and that they should have at least talked to me first, and that I was very open to talking things out in person if any of them wanted to get back to me.

None of them did. Apparently they were writing a formal collective response letter to me. At which point I had enough of the silent treatment and said that if any of them had anything to say to me they could do so in person. Which made the group extremely angry because I was "silencing" them.

About three people got back to me, and all of their responses amounted to "we don't owe you an apology, our actions were justified because we thought you'd done something bad and we were just trying to protect [my ex] and the fact that you're upset about it proves you are bad" one of them compared me to their abuser.

They also said they'd been "having issues with my behavior for a long time now", I wish I could elaborate here in case it'd impact judgement, but I can't because none of them specified, and NOTHING of the sort had been brought up to me previously.

So. Again, I know I am the asshole to some extent, because regardless of my mindset me venting on my tumblr was still harmful, but I also feel like I was treated unfairly and cruelly by my former friends. AITA here?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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demiboydemon · 4 months

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Weird Animal Crossing Headcanons!

Tom Nook used to be married to Redd, now is dating KK Slider. He used to just have a crush on him, but after KK came to the island they got drunk on vacation juice and hooked up in the closed Able Sisters’ changing room, and other places after Sable caught them and kicked them out. The next morning, they talked about it and decided to take things slow. After meeting up every Saturday for a few months, they put labels on things. Timmy and Tommy who were so glad to see their Dad/Uncle happy, even though Tom Nook had to make up a sfw story about how they got together.

Redd is single, but still likes Tom Nook. He’s scornful and jealous that Tom has moved on. He always hopes that he will see him in his boat and want him back. It hasn’t worked yet, but he’s hoping if he keeps selling fake art, Tom will get mad enough to talk to him. Recently he came to tell Redd that he was welcome to sell his art on the regular part of the island as long as he didn’t claim the forgeries were real, but Redd told him to go fuck himself.

Blathers is married to Brewster. It was hard being long distance so Brewster decided to move to the island, too. Sometimes Blathers is self-conscious about how much he talks, but Brewster finds it adorable. Sometimes a family is a bird who talks too much and a bird who doesn’t talk enough.

Harvey, Harriet, Leif, and Pascal are in a polyamorous relationship with each other. Harvey and Harriet got together first, then they met Pascal and Leif. Harriet isn’t dating Pascal, but they are good friends. They’re currently a closed polycule.

Flick and CJ are dating. They were childhood best friends, then got together as teens. Now they live together in a 2 bedroom apartment. One of the bedrooms belongs to the bugs and fish. Flick doesn’t talk to his dad much, and people assume it’s because he’s homophobic. Really it’s because Nat loves eating bugs. Another example of politics destroying families 😔

Pelly moved on from Pete after she caught him pirating content from Phyllis’s Onlyfans. She’s now with a pelican named Pierre, who is a Boondoxian. Pierre is scared of Phyllis, as everyone should be.

Gracie is friends with benefits with Pavé and Resetti. She’s a dom and they’re into that.

Dr Shrunk’s wife wanted to open up their marriage and he agreed, but now regrets it. He talked to Dr Shrunk (his wife) about his regrets and she told him she wanted a divorce. He is having a midlife crisis, and now the only reactions he can teach are ‘heartbreak,’ ‘hefty child support,’ and ‘look at my exotic tattoo.’ This is why he is absent in New Horizons, as Nintendo didn’t think these reactions would be profitable. (Geez, show the man some compassion.)

Ankha is taking a break from dating after someone leaked her nudes. She went on a coffee date with Wisp once, but he was too much of a scaredy-cat for her.

Don Resetti has a crush on Beppe at OK Motors. They don’t see each other much, but every time they do is magical. A scrapped part of New Horizons was the player setting them up on a date in exchange for bells, but Nintendo decided against it.

Reese and Cyrus are happy as ever, and are that couple you mute on social media because they make you feel bad about your own love life.

Franklin used to have a Tinder, but deleted it after he only got messages from vore roleplayers. Speed dating hasn’t worked out well for him, either.

Gillivarr has an unrequited crush on Celeste. Celeste is the unrequited crush of many, many people.

Wardell and Niko are in a committed relationship after working together for years. Digby and Lottie had to make amendments to the HHA rule book because they were sick of the PDA.

Lloid is well-endowed, but he still has a difficult time with dating because it’s made of clay, and no size in the world can make up for that.

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fireemblems24 · 11 months

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Scarlet Blaze Ch 9

Going to admit up front that I'm incredibly unmotivated to play this, but here we go.

STORY

Ok, so calling it now. Edelgard realizes she's a dumbass for thinking her single-supply line 10/10 army strategies couldn't smash all of Fodlan under her fist at the same time. So she's going back to look at options.

Given what the story's said so far, write it down - Edelgard will call a temp truce with Claude to focus on the Kingdom. Then she'll later plan on fighting the Alliance or doing exactly what she accuses Rhea of doing and ruling the Alliance with her soft-power.

Lysithea showing up? Does she if you don't recruit her? She doesn't really add anything to the scene.

Hubert thinks TWSITD wants to recruit Shez. He's getting interrogated by his own allies. Yikes. Deserved. That's what you get for fighting for the Imperialist land-hungry country.

Oh, no side-battles this time, like in GW in ch 8. Good. Means it'll go fast.

MAP/SIDE BATTLES

I keep remembering that Ingrid's dead in this storyline. If Sylvain or Felix are recruitable after this, that's straight-up character assassination.

Monica adds nothing of value. Her personality is literally just "Edelgard."

"Whatever part of me that was a knight is dead." - Ashe 😭 It's like CF!Felix all over again. He's just miserable. At least someone here gives a fuck about Ingrid.

Lysithea not trusting the Empire saga continues.

Least self-aware Imperial soldier "Why, what would happen if instead the Empire itself were suddenly invaded?"

Glad to see Mercedes expressing regrets.

Ok. Who wrote this? "I believe the Church of Serios ought to be protecting the people of Adrestia even now." 🤣

SHEZ & MONICA B SUPPORT

I'm sure this will be a deep, nuanced conversation. 👌

Monica is jealous of Shez because Edelgard is impressed with him. And is in denial.

She claims her relationship with Edelgard is deeper and Shez is just her servant.

Monica literally counts how many times Edelgard says people's names.

Much deep. Such character.

EDELGARD & BALTHUS B SUPPORT

Their final support.

Hubert told Edelgard Balthus was a womanizer. Hubert is really over the top in this game, lamo.

Edelgard isn't Balthus' type. Taste.

"I'm not compassionate - merely hopelessly committed to my ideals." - Some self-awareness this time. Nice.

"I've set out to unite all of Fodlan. I've started a war over it." - Edelgard.

I've seen people say the fandom say we shouldn't assume Hubert's thoughts are Edelgard, fair. But, like, it's right there. Out of her own mouth. Again.

She promises to protect anyone who serves her and her ideals. Tell that to Houses!Bernedetta or Houses!Monica.

In the end she invites him to a war council.

MANUELA & JERITZA B SUPPORT

Their final support.

Manuela notices that Jeritza is getting along better with the soldiers. He compliments her for being perceptive.

Manuela tells him that all he's missing is a smile. Not going to lie, I thought she was going to say "wife" instead.

She's really pulling a "you should smile." She and Claude need to get put in a corner for that. Albeit, Manuela is acting as his teacher, Claude's just being a sexist ass.

Jertiza smiles and seems to like Manuela, but not the way she wants.

HUBERT, PETRA, & JERITZA PARALOGUE

I see Lorenz is in two paralogues available here, so I guess characters sometimes are in more than one?

Anyways, plan is to use Hubert and/or Petra while Jeritza gets carried around.

I think I pissed Hubert off and made Jeritza happy.

They debate how tough the group is. Game is being somewhat self-aware by having people be like "move on already."

Soooo . . . this paralogue is about stopping the Church of Serios from assassinating Count Varley. Fuck that.

So in this paralogue we're rescuing an abusive father who's using faith as propaganda from the people trying to get rid of corrupt leaders in the location of the home we chased them out of on threat of murder if they return. Great.

Man, we had to fight Shamir and Catherine duo :(

Catherine asked if we were really willing to die for Varley. You know it's bad when Catherine is the smartest one in the room.

SHEZ & JERITZA B SUPPORT

Jeritza is looking for someone. He saw them and he ran away.

Shez described Jeritza as having a "murdery aura," accurate.

He says he'll never "capture her." Man, Shez, not sure it's a good idea to help him here.

He denies getting help.

LORENZ, FERDINAND, & CONSTANCE PARALOGUE

They're all having tea together and discussing it and trying to "out noble" each other and kissing each other's ass.

Constance feels inferior to their nobility. It's her sun thing, right?

Constance asks them which one is the most noble. Ferdinand says it's not noble to rank things like that. Constance calls them cowards essentially.

Now they're having a competition and asks Shez to judge. Shez suggests a training battle.

I hope Ferdinand gets a second paralogue that's most interesting than this. The dialogue wasn't even that funny outside the the first part.

It was an extremely mid plot, but fun to play with the time limit on killing all the generals.

If Ferdinand was MVP, does that mean he won?

Shez won. Is that automatic then? I jumped back and forth between Shez and Ferdinand the whole time.

Now they're going to have a tea party.

MAIN BATTLE/STORY

Monica is soooo boring.

People are trying to assassinate Edelgard. Hubert suspects Shez.

Shez, Monica, and Hubert rescue Edelgard from Shamir in a cut scene. Hubert also blasted at Shamir and Monica was in the way of his magic. Monica gets mad. No one told her what happened in Houses lamo.

Edelgard just stands there the whole time during the cut scene lol.

Oh, Edelgard's a green unit this time. Weird. Like it made sense for Dimitri but the moment we busted him out, he was playable. Edelgard isn't under threat of Cornelia or anything. Oh well, she's not one of my best units.

Oh, fuck, I can't use Hubert either. That actually does sting.

It's ok. I still have Ferdinand and Shez, Manuela is good too.

Persuade Shamir is an option. Makes sense I guess.

I have to protect Edelgard from getting routed. But what if I just . . . don't? Kinda weird how she's just . . . standing there. Like there's no in-game reason for why she's not fighting and just sitting around letting everyone else save her.

Edelgard left the throne room for like a minute and needed to get warp rescued back lamo.

OMG, Shamir only defects to save Catherine's life. 😭😭😭😭😭 Girlfriends.

I feel so much like the villain right now. After that stuff with Catherine and Shamir.

Ferdinand's father escaped. Hubert's taking it out on Ferdinand.

I think Hubert will use this escape as an excuse to kill Aegir.

They used a secret passage. Rhea probably helped build it lol.

Hubert is apologizing for suspecting Shez.

Wow, Shez only got promoted so Hubert could investigate him. So Edelgard only promoted a commoner because she suspected him of being a spy.

Yikes, poor Shez. Claude leaves him with no work (and not much pay) for years and Edelgard suspect Shez is with the enemy nearly the entire game.

I get to make Shez pissed off though. He's actually calling them out for being two-faced too.

"The great war Edelgard instigated" - narration. Claude, Dimitri - neither of you started this.

Part 1 Fin. Like with GW. I suspect AG will get that after Ch 9 too and GW is just one chapter ahead time-wise than the others right now.

xxxx

#fire emblem #fire emblem three hopes #scarlet blaze #three hopes #scarlet blaze spoilers

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randomingoftherandomness · 7 months

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my opinion on Shangguang Qian is similar to yours, i really like her and the less she's entangled in love affairs the more i liked her. she and Shangjue shine independently, but trying to put them together as "pair" takes away their coolness from both. Shangjue never trusted her, and as was revealed in later part of the show, was actively working in several plots to expose her. he never lets his guard down around her. honestly, even the spy thing aside, her instant love bombing is sleazy and makes her seem even more sus. i don't ship main couple but objectively their relationship progresses naturally and believably thus highlighting the unnatural relationship between Shangjue and SGQ. their intimate scene came out of nowhere and was strange - he doesn't even let her hold his hand, then suddenly changes his mind and invites her to bath, then insults her afterwards. "what else do you have?" she already gave him her body, she has nothing to bargain with anymore. it looked like another test or try to push her to her limit. she didn't break under pressure tho. in following scenes where she's throwing herself at him in a hug, he hesitates for a long time to even put a hand on her shoulder. they don't look like lovebirds who share a bed every night. shangjue might have had moments when he doubted his own judgement what if she's genuine, but most of the time he knows he was right about her from the start. and in the end they did stay true to themselves and went their separate ways as they should. whatever sentimentality Shangjue had for her, he choose his priorities - Yuanzhi, the clan, etc. he's master of his own desires, not their slave. and sentimentality will be forgotten soon. as for her pregnancy i don't believe it for a second. she never showed signs of it. she made it up on the spot in a last attempt to save herself, she gambled her life on it and won. even if she really was pregnant idk who might father be - she also flirted with hanyu, and was meeting that buzzcut teacher/ex-lover. pregnancy doesn't benefit SGQ in any way, so even if it's true, once she got out she would abort it. she would continue working in Wufeng, maybe even get promoted. she's talented self-made woman

she and Shangjue shine independently, but trying to put them together as "pair" takes away their coolness from both.

and that's the biggest dilemma about the two of them, isn't it? the show writers assumed that cool + cool = cool, but that math didn't math and if anything, when it comes to the two of them, cool + cool = ok. It wasn't bad, but it sure as hell wasn't good.

Shangjue never trusted her, and as was revealed in later part of the show, was actively working in several plots to expose her. he never lets his guard down around her.

Ding, ding, ding!

Their relationship was probably the biggest black hole about this show. If that last shangjue scene was seen out of context, I would maaaybe buy into the whole sell of them being 'in love', but because i know all the flesh and bones of how we got to that point, I was like,

YMMV about this. But i'm firmly on the team of 'not sold about these two' (even if I do on some level find them very hot together. aesthetically. i have two eyes ok?)

honestly, even the spy thing aside, her instant love bombing is sleazy and makes her seem even more sus.

OH DO NOT GET ME STARTED ABOUT THE LOVE BOMBING

ok, super side note, irl I consider Love Bombing as a huge red flag in a person and so every single time she was all saccharine and committing to the lovestruck bit, I was like. Er. Gege, blink twice if you need help.

Sleazy is one word for it.

i don't ship main couple but objectively their relationship progresses naturally and believably thus highlighting the unnatural relationship between Shangjue and SGQ.

They're both foils to each other and I totally agree, but for added comparison's sake, you should also throw in Zishang x Jin Fan -- legit the couple with one who was doing love bombing and the other one who is duty bound not to have "feelings".

This comparison could be a whole post of its own, but if YWS x GZY is the comparison point for how love can actually make you want to be better, do better, live better, then GZS x JF is the point for how you can't "force" love, you can only foster what is already there.

If this makes any sense lol.

they don't look like lovebirds who share a bed every night.

You said it. Not me :>

as for her pregnancy i don't believe it for a second. she never showed signs of it.

You and me, fam. You and me.

even if she really was pregnant idk who might father be - she also flirted with hanyu, and was meeting that buzzcut teacher/ex-lover. pregnancy doesn't benefit SGQ in any way, so even if it's true, once she got out she would abort it. she would continue working in Wufeng, maybe even get promoted. she's talented self-made woman

Okay, so. My response to this bit is how CL and LYX both said that yes, she is preggers and she is banking on GSJ going on a search expedition to find her. For me, I take it as a Word of God kinda thing. Even if my entire thought process is more like this

#gab rambles #my journey to you #i just got back to my hotel after a long day so apologies if the response is a little lackluster

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spacegoathours · 1 year

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gonna ramble about calnr below the cut

bc I’m BORED and this is MY blog I do what I WANT

TW for self-harm, I think. I am not nice to my girl

edit: i sat on this for days and it’s long and stupid but i’m sick of seeing it in my drafts. every day i strive to be worse than the last ✌🏼✨

since I am the worst at writing, and really not creative overall, I struggle with stepping outside of the few things I’ve drawn which range from generic cutesy things to angsty AF

at some point I’m gonna have to suck it up and make sense of their relationship, why it’s even necessary for both of them, and what the endgame is. is this just for funsies and doesn’t matter? yes. is my brain not going to leave me alone until I make sense of everything? also yes.

like. ok. we can assume that Lard Nar has dealt with a lot of loss. he lost his home first and foremost, but it can also be assumed that he’s lost a lot of loved ones, family and friends and so on, either by imprisonment or death by Irken hand. this makes him not only opposed to commitment for fear of losing someone but especially opposed to commitment to an Irken.

at the same time we like to think that Lard Nar sees past how Irkens tend to be on the surface and understands that they’re just victims of Irken society, this awful propaganda that turns what could be free-thinking individuals into single-minded drones privy to violence and hatred of other alien races.

he knows deep down that Callie is good because she saved him during the Vort disaster. that’s highly unusual Irken behavior and the act sticks with him years down the line, even after watching as his planet got conquered and his family imprisoned. so the two views go back and forth in his mind, i guess.

obviously trusting Callie in the end is what happens since they do, eventually, have some sort of complicated relationship. once he opens up to her, that fear of losing her just like he lost everyone else becomes super exasperated, now that he’s let Callie be someone important to him.

this really sucks for him because Callie is fiercely independent and leaves the Resisty ship often. each time is either quietly leaving without anyone knowing or getting very angry and leaving, never with the intent to come back. she just wants to be left alone at first.

(tw implied self-harm below)

Callie gets into a lot of trouble while away from the Resisty. the story I keep trying to tell with her is dark; she hates herself, a lot, has no sense of self-preservation and comes back fucked up every time. most of the time she’s found by the Resisty and they have to bring her back to health again.

her background of like… forced to train hard as hell to become a top elite next to miyuki and never wanting that future, having to escape her home planet because she would have been killed otherwise, actually being killed painfully after finally finding what felt like home, waking up in a body that isn’t hers and another Irken’s mind battling with her own, and by this point assuming that the Resisty just wants to use her because she could potentially be a huge threat to the Empire…

this girl’s mental state is bad by the end of it all.

and actually, most of the Resisty hates her at first, which doesn’t help. they just got done trusting an Irken who betrayed them and nearly got them all killed (Nyx). but their captain feels that he owes Callie, she saved his life after all so many years ago, so he saves hers in the only opportunity that arises to make it possible. so the rest kinda have to deal.

after some time goes by, Lard Nar realizes that he’s gone from “ok I have returned the favor my work here is done” to “fuck I really care about you please stop hurting yourself like this”. and he does see Callie as a potential asset to their cause at first, but doesn’t press the subject. after he realizes oh fuck I have feelings for this Irken he drops the idea from his mind entirely; he just wants her to be okay. Callie, seeing no future for herself, has no interest in joining the Resisty or being in any sort of relationship.

Eventually she comes around after slowly realizing that the Resisty has 1.) learned to trust her after Nyx’s personality is fully gone and they spend more time getting to know her true self and her history and 2.) saved her time and time again without expecting anything in return, proving that they actually do care. her mental state starts to improve slowly but surely.

Callie officially joins the Resisty and goes on missions with them. somewhere in this part of the story is where she realizes how much she cares about Lard Nar in return. but emotions are very confusing for Irkens, especially those surrounding romantic feelings, so Callie doesn’t know what to do half the time. she’ll go to Laksa like “hey Nar brought me flowers from a nearby planet and asked if I needed anything while I’m stuck in the med bay and it made me feel weird what does this mean” and Laksa will be like ROLLS EYES.

this girl stubborn AF and when she understands what she’s feeling for Lard Nar is love, she’s in denial about it. her??? with a Vortian???? that’s wrong!!! it’s not, but the things you’re taught on Irk take some time to unlearn. anything between them is kept in private and even though she thinks she has their relationship under wraps, the rest of the Resisty is like “oh wow sweet gossip” and they are very aware lol.

there is a mission at some point where some Irken enforcers capture Lard Nar and keep him imprisoned for a while, and Callie rips through the prison’s guards like they are nothing to save him, and at this point she doesn’t care what people think anymore. when she saved him and some other scientists the first time on Vort she didn’t think much of it, it was just the right thing to do and she took hold of the opportunity. this time she’d stop at nothing to make sure he’s safe, even if that means murdering a ton of Irken guards, going very much against her own ideals.

the two become highly protective of each other and intermittently co-dependent because of their different traumas surrounding loss. I don’t think this makes for the healthiest relationship - sometimes one or the other will realize they’re being clingy and pull back for fear of getting hurt. it probably takes them a very long time to get to a point where the fear of losing the other becomes less important than the desire to be together.

also like…this takes a while. you can’t erase the past, and the reality is that Irkens and Vortians have a very strained relationship with each other. Lard Nar occasionally gets a sinking feeling in his gut when he’s around Callie, remembering the history surrounding the broken alliance. This is an Irken who can choose to betray his trust at any moment, and it’s not like it hasn’t happened to him personally. Callie, being on the “winning” side between the two, feels overwhelming guilt and often feels like she doesn’t deserve to be with Lard Nar because of what the Irkens - her people - have done to him.

I think I want them to have a happy ending where they can overcome their pasts, but ugh. I sure do view the IZ universe and timeline as very dark and awful and sure do love putting characters thru the horrors.

like I said before I’m bad at writing and there are a lot of elements here I want to include, which is why this ended up so lengthy, but some probably contradict others!! it’s just a string of thoughts though, so take it all with a grain of salt I guess. eventually I’ll simplify things which would make it easier to come up with ideas for writing/drawing. or just do whatever. whenever. this is literally just textbook “I want to shove my OC into every aspect of canon because I need to live” fuck it we ball

umm anyway how’d this get so fucking long. if you made it this far why did you do that. goodnight

#mina talks #a lot #fair warningggg

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year

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deh in the broader Genre of like telling the tale of a (probably teen) child & a difficult/strained relationship with their parent/s where the conclusion to the overarching thread there is tied to the feelings of the parent/s, with the child's sense of emotional resolution hinging on some newfound understanding/recognition/appreciation of those Feelings Of The Parent/s, namely that they Do genuinely love the kid / Care, Regardless of the otherwise "seeming" insufficiency of the provided emotional support of the child, oft justified in full as well by broad things like [doing their best] and [could've been worse / at least not as bad as i had it]. wherein the conflict is resolved probably not totally unilaterally, but mostly by the child realizing their feelings were wrong and/or at least setting them aside by virtue of recognizing how the parent/s felt all along.

like ofc larry in particular, who does Feel Sad that his son died, and other people getting to realize this helps effectively temporarily resolve the murphy family dynamic problems over intermission, and then we come back and larry tells evan he still feels justified in everything he was doing re connor, who died, and evan says that connor (reminder: who died) was really lucky to have a dad who Cares So Much About taking care of Stuff. larry also singing about how Everyone Else thinks & does things wrong for not aligning/agreeing with him on Stuff. and also of course, that doing the right thing is Hard for him. and in the end, words fail, larry hasn't actually changed re: for example never listening to his wife, whose feelings are Not inherently justified like his and who is i guess just not committing to The Hard & Right Thing for not feeling like she has the answers / knows what to buckle down on and never let up about no matter what anyone else thinks, including like, the people directly affected by what you're doing. throw in all the other classic moments like insisting connor simply dropped the ball himself, Somebody Had To Be The Bad Guy, that his daughter be shopping for also not wanting to be monologued at about larry's baseball lore in a garage. ok

but things are fine in the end through the implication that the murphys are staying as married as ever? like, no lmao. we've never seen a single instance of larry showing basic respect for his wife as a peer (tempering addendum: i'm sure this is a slight exaggeration & larry is at least being neutral enough at various times lol. but like at the least disagreement b/w them, she's dealing w/a brick wall). and was zoe being unsarcastic by positing the brady bunch as some hypothetical family dynamic ideal? she's had a hard year but she's fine and mostly what we know about her life is that fact of her parents being undivorced, like, is it assumed that We'd assume she's more bummed out if she was Dealing with that too, rather than relieved/happier. in every case of divorce were the children apparently completely insulated from their parents' dynamic & its effect on their behavior. in the case of every marriage held on to for dear life no matter what For The Children / b/c for w/e other reasons divorce is off the table, are the kids just clapping & cheering regardless of everything else like huzzah to have both my mother & father living together, legally wed. tbt like third or fourth grade & for seom reason, maybe book related, a teacher asking the class who had divorced parents, and saying it was good there was only one person who had to Go Through That. seems inappropriate lol and also inaccurate, having to note that down at the time as an informed adult / child of divorced parents opinion, while actually having a [tragically "divorce is off the table / marriage for the children" situation] unfolding & having to understand things entirely through the lens of how in fact, parents know best / are trustworthy b/c they care, kids just don't get it and are only mad about being grounded and stuff, and mistreatment is an outlier noticeable to all and characterized by nonstop cartoonish contempt blatantly expressed, physical violence/neglect, the classics. but if a parent does something like disallow boundaries / privacy, well someone Had to, and it ranges somewhere from "well that's just appropriate disciplinary measures [cite the usual "it could've been worse" and/or "well sorree that parents aren't always perfect" and/or just general sentiments abt if you don't do xyz kids will never learn that they have to abide by your authority at any time regardless of what's going on for them as their own person]" to, well, also what i just put in brackets like "sometimes you make lil mistakes but did your best, sorry i wasn't perfect, the kid i was raising & mistreating was less perfect though sooo."

heidi is naturally more actually sympathetic but she's also on basically a [her own feelings] journey by and large, even while again it's not totally unilateral? like, there's the misalignments in between, but she and evan were always the one conversation away from their resolution (of not wanting to mutually disown each other). she realizes evan was unhappy at the start, then gets upset about his apparent increasing distance, then realizes he was more unhappy than she realized....? like, okay i guess. (""shoutout"" to cynthia noting that larry dismissed connor being suicidal as essentially Not Actually That. like evidently heidi is clearing that bar, but just throwing another tomato at whatever all larry's up to.) and in good for you, it's like. yes heidi is blindsided by things and none of this is to say that real parents, or parents as characters, should have Irrelevant feelings, or not make mistakes b/c of them, but it's sure A Time wherein she expresses Some Things like, all presumably motivated by her feeling that evan is effectively rejecting/disowning/leaving her, that he shouldn't get help from other people, and even if they're not strangers, they can't be Real Family? and like, certainly evan is just experiencing a bit of [it's free real estate] standing in for A Son here rather than this being some [found family trope] moment with a more genuine foundation, on top of the whole false pretenses thing, but heidi doesn't know any of this and is falling back on like, it's inherently unacceptable b/c they're not Real family, she is [his Real] mother, an emphatic argument Checkmate surely. and here & along the way she's cited the "i'm trying (my best)" / Sorry I'm Not Perfect matters, while being able to criticize evan about ways he's failed to do [xyz] regardless of whether he was trying (his best), generally regarding the anxiety matters like, he Needs to be able to order a pizza, and make friends, and do the therapy exercises that aren't helping, etc. unsurprising evan feels like she thinks he needs to be fixed, he's also Not Wrong that it's not his fault if he's getting support from outside The Family, i.e. his mom and being in their house. interesting that heidi presumed evan was always staying over at the kleinmans' more and was at least more okay with that, with a difference of course being that she knows them already / is(?) friends with jared's mom.

naturally a sidenote right there in the fact that jared doesn't want to / in effect can't tell his parents anything that's true. while on the one hand he doesn't seem too concerned about never breaking rules in any situation, there's also no sense he's like got this whole secret life going on / anything to Particularly hide from his parents, and having no friends doesn't help re: just his getting up to much in general. that we get no resolution for him, and the resolution for evan and zoe apparently involving the former having reconciled w/his mom and the latter just doing okay for the fact her parents are further from divorce, like, are we going to presume as we're often meant to, re: this Overall Genre, that well jared's parents probably care / are trying their best / are there & married, so ultimately He's Fine for that fact alone, aren't we all? seems a significant assumption in this story's conclusion. never heard about alana's parents at all, but i guess if jared was reeeeallyyy unhappy at home or alana was an orphan also, we'd've heard about it. in this story of everyone being completely forthcoming with each other the whole way through

anyways then heidi shifts into "oh nvm" reconciliation mode after gfy via facebook letter posts and having realized evan was That sad at the start of things? like, again that it's not completely unilateral, as is more usual, and she Is affected by understanding more about how He feels, but also like, we know she knows he had a bad year and is currently still generally unhappy / lonely, and herself knows she can't be there for him all the time / as often as she feels she'd like, but like, she had to know he was even sadder / more struggling than that? and that their strained / unideal relationship was just....more so as well? doesn't super feel like a more fundamental revelation about what's Really going on, versus just like "oh you've been Really [those things i was already aware of]" like, the change just being in the Degree of these situations/factors. i suppose a more inherent shift could be that she was thinking of it all in terms of evan's judgment of her and this conversation is showing her he was worried about her judgment of him? just this one conversation away from resolution the whole time....as well as anything being framed as like, a Two Way Street as the best answer to things rather than actually anything being shifted towards the child, like, unconditional support towards them, supposing there's some mutual grievances & hurt feelings, it's Not just [well i'm sympathetic Enough] for a parent to go "my support's a bit conditional tho" rather than in fact having to set their feelings aside more than their child might. shoutout again to larry at breakfast like "of course i openly don't give a shit b/c i'm assessing that connor doesn't either and that's some real fair's fair stuff"

anyways like, ofc already heidi was Never going to disown & leave evan, who ofc doesn't want to disown & leave her either (& even more Of Course doesn't have that option w/the murphys at that point anyways). and like, yeah surely important that they both know that but like, nothing else particularly changes? or is somehow guaranteed to change for their now having this newly informed mutual understanding on how each other has Felt all along. like, guess evan won't be so distant now that he knows his mom doesn't hate him, that's a difference yeah, but again he also Couldn't be b/c [my bad re: the murphys] [fell out w/his one friend and i guess is even More like "well, can't talk to him ever again / that's that" b/c not like we hear in the finale about having had, or planning to have, a chat w/him too]. sure It Matters that evan know his mom wouldn't hate him for xyz, or that heidi knows evan doesn't already hate her or something, and resolving this surely makes a difference, and it's not like this mutual Emotional Component is irrelevant. but it's oft handled as All that's relevant, and definitively tilted in favor of the parent's(s') feelings justifying / negating the child's(ren's) feelings as an impact of their treatment by the parent/s. is heidi going to have a different approach than going "ugh cmon evan" when he's not doing what he "has" to in whatever various situations, besides perhaps reminding him she won't Hate & Leave him if he can't, just still be disappointed & critical & hoping for him to become Can do it....we've all been there re: "i love you / will support* (*how?) you No Matter What.....But....." unless you haven't been there, at least in terms of this only being meaningful to the person saying it & is merely a Hypothetical intro that automatically justifies whatever Actual treatment is about to unfold, in which case hell yeah

the other key thing that happens here i suppose being heidi using her parental experiences to let evan know it feels overwhelming now, but later, it won't. fun re: her character, simultaneously like, well it's true and useful that how you feel on any given day / in any given moment is never permanent, helpful perhaps re weathering negative ones / appreciating positive ones, on the other hand the sentiment can also be applied dismissively like "well you'll get over it" especially re: children / teens, like "oh prom or being bullied or whatever else won't matter to you in ten years so whatever" (also that Feelings Changing Always obviously doesn't mean people are like, psychically made anew in every moment, and unaffected by things that happened prior, even during childhood / adolescence, like oh cringe weirdos still affected by how their parent/s treated them or how they were treated by their peers or how their affected by these kinds of things Now) or that pretty much anything they feel is immature & thus effectively incorrect and irrelevant, b/c the only Real Feelings in this life are [i have to pay a bill :(] or [i have to parent a child :( / :) (?)] like. any sentiment / idea can be cited in any situation, citing it for the purposes of "so it doesn't really matter how i treat you / how i Don't bother to do fuckall for you" as it may to dismiss [my child's upset rn] or something, is not helpful. but for our purposes heidi doesn't seem to be being dismissive, And ofc due to the specific situation there's not really anything she or evan can do to otherwise improve it rn (i mean, he could potentially also talk to jared again or consider it at least, but.) but the conclusion being that Your Parent Doesn't Hate You & Won't Leave / Will Always Be Here For You, Which Means: Step one: Being Here always; Step Two: [???] is certainly thusly unspecific, not exactly revelatory, and like....Thee Whole Time heidi was not hating evan & was planning on being there always, but that alone didn't mean there weren't these major failures to communicate / understand him / conflicts. well and good to i guess keep sitting on the couch like "remember: i don't hate you & won't disown you & leave" but that's like, certainly a premise of the relationship rather than [a particular way that fact manifests in her supporting / interacting successfully with him]. like her saying she Has, Does, And Will fuck up ten zillion ways (real lyric. jk) is like, again, Yes, parents are people which mean having feelings and making mistakes, and it's presumably important to her re: Not feeling so overwhelmed by parenthood that she recognizes this, but it's also like....yeah but then what, what happens when you make the mistakes re: Being A Parent. she wasn't ever going to leave or hate evan, that's irrelevant. again: how will their avg dynamic such as we've seen it, resulting in [failed connection] across the scenes, change re: the day to day for evan now knowing heidi's not planning to ditch him.

referring back to this as a general genre, it's this sort of point in an exploration of a parent/child relationship being A Limit as well, like, welp, where can you even take things beyond "aw hey. remember that your parent really cares & is trying" lol like. and there's the fact that this point as [the resolution] will probably make the child simply Less "Difficult" / "Wayward" in their teen behavior as well. like yes heidi's sympathetic, her feelings are relevant as a character and a parent to another character, yes also to a degree evan Is being somewhat "difficult" and distant and lashing out / verbally critical at times, but ofc Also a) not for no reason, and b) those reasons being His feelings about things / being Imperfect with it, but that herein more sympathy lies with the parent for those same facts / the resolution must be that the parent was already ultimately Enough re: their support, regardless of acknowledged imperfection. larrycore, except he also won't acknowledge imperfection lol.

and then, naturally, cynthia's the entire other parent character, but she just has like, less going on? she's mostly interacting with [the concept of connor] and evan doesn't like get a glove scene with her or anything and i guess her satisfaction with life manifests in how Normal her family dinners are, cough (made it all this way w/o yet citing Normalcy lol (i think). but it is intrinsically relevant throughout) and she's happy with larry so long as he's been outwardly sad about connor. and that according to zoe she was Too Lenient (convenient as well re: us getting to imagine for ourselves what the supposed perfect middle ground would be) which like, seems particularly relevant To zoe if she was apparently nonzero times tormented by connor's goings on with no recourse. but the overall situation staying very Vague, though with enough impression that cynthia a) is sad that connor died and b) doesn't blame him about it / wasn't dismissive of everything and c) her approach involved pursuing anything fundamentally supportive rather than, say, deciding someone can't have basic privacy and you just keep at that until they're a flexible piece of athletic equipment, so she wins out over larry for sure, don't really have to just throw up our hands like well i guess they're both wrong and the answer is generally somewhere between their general approaches. and other than that it's like, what, she wouldn't be having continual identity crises if her family was more brady bunchesque? there's zoe's vague suggestion that being stuck in the house (b/c if she doesn't Have to work, how could she leave) is also a factor in her identity crisis moments that are manifesting in ruining the Family Dinner experience and evan is lucky to mistakenly think he has problems not having much money. but then she's also just like, fine enough by act two, and again in the finale wherein i guess she's still fine enough for the fact of still being married. noted that cynthia is also the most forthcoming / straightforwardly emotionally expressive character here (ft. larry telling her to calm down jeez cynthia our cringe son only died or whatever or we're now being cyberharassed while everyone hates us for that, chill, so hysterical. women be shopping)

oh wait cynthia and evan do have that bit of a one on one prior to ywbf. definitely something, even if ofc cynthia doesn't get a whole song in that scene, and she and evan have less of a direct exchange in it. and naturally she gets the first song but it's like, where's, idk, heidi and cynthia having a later parallel payoff interaction Parent To Parent about not knowing how the hell to do this. didn't Have to be setup thusly but eh, society if. god knows cynthia talking to larry is a dead end, and talking to evan is limited, him not being a parent also. it's kind of like you can get support / understanding / validation from peers / Outside of [your lifelong nuclear family setting up romantic partnership], but this romantic partnership is the only Peers relationship of evan's that he Needs resolution on. though tbf the Real mystifying aspect of this in the finale is why zoe wanted to / why what she was apparently getting from their relationship all along was such that she now feels like he's this theoretical romantic ideal, rather than it being possible that she needn't regret the relationship for what she could've been getting out of it at the time but also doesn't need to now wish she could do it all over again, without the premises that led to them even dating in the first place. dunno why in either love song led by either of them, evan can't cite a Reason he likes zoe, while zoe textually declines to cite a reason she likes him. if you're Not relating to "if he was a boy & she was a girl & they not only don't hate each other but could share the same house with awkward tense amicability / lack of absolutely blowing up at each other all the time....why Shouldn't you assume you might be in love and start dating your way towards ideal eternal soulmateship" then it's like, kinda at a loss out here. ofc evan can be relieved she doesn't hate him forever and zoe can feel she doesn't hate him forever and have the generosity to pat him on the back abt stuff and the orchard, but their already baffling relationship is only way more so when for some reason zoe has to definitively tell evan he's still this theoretical romantic ideal like....we can still interpret it as, idk, zoe having low standards / limited experience at this juncture tbh lol but even so, regardless of this, there's the fact that this Romance being established as centrally crucial in the very beginning and end (and ofc in between) is The Story / Work Overall considering it centrally crucial and it's like ummm. holding this and looking at it like okay..........what is this

one explanation being "well we don't need an explanation. soulmate romance Is supposed to fix and/or justify your whole life and the more isolating it is the more its proven how much Love their is / how that's all you need" and ofc high schoolers would want that asap so long as the other party seems nice enough. whoops compare and contrast with how when we check in with evan in the finale he's also Been doing okay enough and the sole relationship we even know of is that with his mom, and hey, if that's all he has then that just shows that that love of a parent is enough / all one needs. which is the limit here, and the limit of The Genre, like, hmm, families aren't ever perfect and can have these major issues and failures huh: the critical examination/exploration of this then not getting more specific than "but in the end that's who's always there for you, which is heartwarming in and of itself rather than its own problem b/c when people Don't get actual support there for any reason/s, there's nothing else for them, except perhaps support via marriage / romance" where the problems also can be considered utterly unavoidable in a [throw up your hands, can't even begin to speculate on alternatives w/any meaningful specificity] way, and justified as like, kids who just need to be more appreciative / understanding of their parents, and parents who should be appreciated / understood as simply human, which means they're not perfect and they have feelings, but Everyone is simply human with emotions and mistakes, but then the fact in & of itself of Some people's imperfection & emotions gets to invalidate Other people's imperfections (see: however the Former People reacts to the Latter People's mistakes is fine) and their emotions (see: however the Latter People react to how they're affected by anything the Former People do is not fine, so long as the former people feel that their own feelings were sympathetic and/or that they merely made a mistake / can't be expected to be perfect, ugh well sorrreeee) which happens in the direction of Who Already Has The Power / Authority: that being The Parents, vs. children having zero leverage or other options than the immediate family & "ideally" (suburban single family home) isolated, or at least bounded off, living situation they just so happened to be born with. and parents, themselves isolated like "if you don't love your spouse enough that you aren't perfectly happy from just living w/them forever and you'd throw everyone else in your life into a volcano for them & still be perfectly happy, that's just your failure to find a soulmate ig b/c otherwise At Least being able to go 'yeah it's not perfect but it's good enough. & what else is there. also i can't afford to live without splitting 8 jobs w/a partner' is within your grasp" and isolated as parents like, you know what they say, it takes a two parent household to raise a child, if you're obviously overwhelmed like e.g. dealing with a newborn, haha well it's the damnedest thing but that's just how it is and anyone struggling w/parenting alone or even as only two people is experiencing that [just how it is]ness, nothing else to be done, unless legal custody is revoked to punish the parents. if the children are punished then that's just family business, they're the ones who also have no choice in entering a family via entering existence, belong to their parents, oft aren't considered to need / deserve basic elements of personhood, cue connor losing his Basic Privacy b/c someone Had to and whatever.

anyways, Thee Genre where "welp, this is just how it is" can only be preserved like this, like, well, guess this Has to resolve where of course a child is stuck w/their parent no matter what, right, so in turn the child must just ultimately feel okay with whatever's up with their parent/s as Fine Enough, while parents care enough to not want to renounce their claim of this being their child, but really nothing Must be conceded by the parent in terms of behavior, the Family Unit ultimately cannot be denied in any way such that the child really ever has any recourse but to try to accept the parent/s Being Only Human as justification for it all, and more, and/or the potential sort of theoretical threat of ideas like "be glad you had Anyone in the first place / don't have Worse parent/s / aren't Disowned, b/c think of how much worse you'd have it on your own," which yknow spoilers, threats aren't really support, nor are the effects of any failures in support / outright mistreatment Justified by the inner world of the party responsible for it being declared / judged as Good Enough, or certainly as good as you deserve.

anyways obviously it's not a nightmare in deh (at least for evan, lbr. larry....) and in the story it Is posited as enough b/c it's a fictional construction that can say whatever, and or let plenty be unspoken, like skirting around why exactly zoe's supposed to be regarding evan in any which way that she does at any point after iicth, tbh. but this is really a subset of "deh arguably has this premise that The Pursuit Of Normalcy is correct re: amending the kinds of problems evan has here; normalcy is the nuclear family as an ideal, whether Your Parents (as close to two married suburbanite ones as you can get) or You As A Parent (same as prior parenthetical)" wherein that subset genre is another one that must ultimately accept Normalcy as well, where parents have this irrevocable authority in their children's lives, and an exploration of a strained / messy family dynamic at any age can only resolve with "well in the end, parents aren't perfect but they try & care, and their kids have to accept this as ultimate justification for any & all of their experiences they have grievance with. fill in any blanks with [throw up your hands / whaddaya gonna do / c'est la damnedest things]" like. again that jared is only worse off for [the plot] and we have no update on him and we know he has no friends now (evan too, presumably) and only his parents he doesn't talk to. and we can presume this is good enough only by a) dismissing whatever feelings he has to make him not want to share anything w/said parents as Surely frivolous/unfounded and/or b) operating on that premise that, well, he has parents, and they're only human, so that is automatically All You Need To Know (with a little bonus of (c) that any Real Abuse must be so extraordinary that it's this rare outlier and what are the odds? rather than a common experience that's this guaranteed option when parents own a kid and the kid has no choice but to accept this situation / no other support. And, as with all "unusual" Abnormal things, all normal people would be able to diagnose someone with Abused or Disabled or Trans, Closeted Or Otherwise based on fleeting interactions and Not on someone declaring their own understanding of their experiences, which is actually probably wrong / an exaggeration/lie....But also if anyone experienced something abnormal like that, they'd know right off and be talking about it all the time to get help resolving their situation; if people have the idea it's a secret, that people don't just Believe Them, and/or that people Can't just help them up and resolve their situation wholly and safely and soon enough, that proves it's not real or at least not That big a deal, who cares if you have some gender thoughts or ""mild" autism" or kinda shitty parents, if it's relatable just deal with it, if it's not, you're just being weird and try being more normal, which is also supposedly just dealing with it, but all the more dismissively / emphatically) like iunno jared would Have to tell us more explicitly that his parents are terrible, and then we could just disbelieve him, or figure he deserves it, or that he's just mad about being grounded once or whatever. there's two of them, probably married, and they have feelings and are imperfect, so he's fine.

also the fact that any relationship with peers, besides looking for your romantic soulmate asap, is frivolous and optional. coincidentally (is it??? jk. it's not) it's a form of support outside the nuclear family you were born into / establishing your own nuclear family. friendships are about the chats you can squeeze in with coworkers you happen to tolerably get along with, or prior, same but with other students, and if they're not Perfectly Working Out At The Start And Forever (see, in fact: evan's illustration of the perfect friendship in For Forever, wherein he needn't even explain like, how they became friends, or how it was so different from any other dynamics. or explain to us the audience how he and jared threw together this material that emulates it via this roleplaying sesh, but that doesn't warrant eventual resolution) then a friendship does not deserve either "well they're only human, so i guess i have to accept Whatever" like re: parents, nor "i Need to put effort and intent into an active pursuit/continual maintenance of this relationship" of the [it validates your life so you need it, as well as it being the only appropriate/expected support in a legal adult's life, move out with your spouse already] Romance. that alana, though her motivation and sort of silver lining reward in the end (re: the orchard) isn't all about evan, also gets no resolution and was sure not evan's parent nor love interest, so Well Whaddaya Expect....again, if she was a tragic orphan, she'd've announced as much, and if she has parents, they're human and she's Fine Enough

anyways you can perhaps critically explore/examine these experiences beyond these not explicitly, directly expressed premises that in the end the parental feelings override the the child's and justify the reality that the child has no recourse anyways when their nuclear family is all they have and the familial Belonging can be [the children are parental property], wouldn't it be great if that was always okay enough anyways, b/c that's all we can get, and considering otherwise is weird and probably an unrelatable outlier anyways. so The Conclusion to stories abt parent/child relationship problems can't/don't upend the premise that a child can be stuck with their parent/s as people who forever unconditionally retain some ability to actively impact that child in whatever ways, and even if this is questioned, it has to be resolved with the child accepting this Reality w/whatever justifications that supposedly validate the parent enough / even just being like well it's better than the alternative of Not having your "support," surely, b/c that was even unhappier. the child can feel badly about whatever treatment, even treatment they don't think had any ill intent, but the parental authority is A Fact and ya just gotta make peace with it, whether the parent only personally justifies it with "b/c i'm the parent" or "i mean well enough / sorry i'm not perfect"

this versus material where the parent actually does have to change their behavior regardless of their feelings, in recognition of An Actual Relationship rather than eternal justification of the parent = superior / authority figure. or where, as is true re: any actual relationship, a child does get to withdraw from said relationship (as is true even if the child is still in the parent's life / the parent thinks there's A Relationship b/c of the child still being in their life and their feeling they totally have adequate authority here) and like, frankly points to how that often seems to work best when the viewer isn't privy to seeing said child's experiences / interactions w/the parent/s directly. Just Like Real Life, a) can't really convey the reality of such a dynamic via "wow look how Obviously bad it is" snippets, even such [obviously bad] moments can be Dismissed as snippets like well but on Average it's not That Bad(tm), and this leads into b) the premise when we Don't get to be shown the interactions directly being: what we Do get shown being the child's perspective / feelings and That actually getting to be what matters and can in turn justify their being supported regardless of if the parent tries / cares at all / means well / makes mistakes etc etc, and any illustrations from the parent's end of things being secondary really, while things lean such that the child's feelings have more weight and what is Justified by said feelings isn't [anything they do to anyone ever] but actually having other avenues of support than w/e parents they happened to have. and whether things were Really That Bad don't have to be judged by other people who can't have the full picture or direct experience or be Better at understanding the situation for having had more "normal" experiences, and who aren't them and why should someone be judged thusly like "oh sorry it's Not That Bad" and then, again, have no recourse like, can't go anywhere else, and if you can, there's zero guaranteed support Unless it's via whatever particular personal relationships you happen to have, which is why it's great that isolation isn't basically a guaranteed feature of abuse, and that [social support can only come from Personal Relationships] doesn't foster isolation / insecurity / vulnerability overall. this was politics all along, what isn't?

anyways, these like "hmm....social phenomena...." approaches that are limited by unquestioned concepts of Normalcy that the audience must understand similarly too; including this genre here of the Inevitable Reconciliation b/w parent and child justified by the parent having feelings, and the child's feelings being dismissable. kinda the case in deh that said feelings just needed to be aired so as to be understood, and then things are fine enough indefinitely now. arguably Having A Talk is a change in behavior/the dynamic, but also it comes about via a wild specific convoluted series of events and still only manifests last minute b/c heidi saw a facebook post and evan's at the end of his rope here lol. and he has no friends and the nebulous potential of [i'm still theoretical soulmate material for another the perfect girl. someday] and a customer service job??????? godspeed. and the idea of other people and we're out babeyyyy

#now I'm out....of this post b/c. it's quarter to two a.m. smh....i haven't even made my nocturnal potato soup yet #long post xoxo #deh #dunno if that's what's making Tag Comments not come to mind here or if i actually just put it all in the post extensively enough. or both #A Classic Contribution from yours truly. i'm....7? yrs no contact w/parents ama #hell yes when ppl's parents Are genuinely supportive and respectful of their kids being actual other people #mayhaps this roll of the dice whether one's parents are shouldn't damn you to eternal torment b/c everything is such as to provide anyone #with as little recourse as possible as it is in any other situations where People Just Haaave To Put Up With This Though. thinking; monocle

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tlbodine · 2 years

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Horror Directors: M. Night Shyamalan

Oh, M. Night.

Few modern directors are as infamous as our dear Mr. Shyamalan. What a trajectory his career has had! From nobody to overnight sensation with The Sixth Sense in 1999, to foreshadowing the superhero wave in 2000 with Unbreakable, to the divisive Signs in 2002 and the much-joked-about The Village in 2004. By 2008's The Happening he was already kind of a punchline, and then The Last Airbender and After Earth by rights should have destroyed his career with how fucking terrible they were.

But somehow he survived! And had a return-to-form with The Visit in 2015, followed by the genuinely well-done (if sometimes contentious) Split and Glass that form a trilogy with Unbreakable. He's kept busy with a lot of intriguing streaming-platform TV projects.

And then, well. Then there was Old.

Look. Here's the thing.

I actually have a tremendous soft spot for M. Night's movies. I think part of that is that he was making original horror films in the early 2000s, a time when not a whole lot of people were doing that (in an age of torture porn and reboots, his movies were a breath of fresh air, even when they sucked)...and, I mean. I was a teenager. There's some nostalgia there.

So I have seen nearly all of Shyamalan's films, most of them more than once, and I have a lot of respect for the dude's work ethic and commitment to keep doing the thing even though...well. Even though sometimes these movies suck.

youtube

The Happening (2008) is a movie that is actually significantly worse than I remember. I watched it in theaters when it came out and remembered it being kind of a mess but with some interesting ideas. Having recently re-watched it, I can confirm that it's an enormous mess with some mostly nonsensical ideas.

OK. So the story is centered on Mark Wahlberg, a high school science teacher, who's having some ultimately pointless marital conflict with his wife (inexplicably, distractingly played by Zooey Deschanel), in the midst of a disaster that everyone assumes is a bioterrorist attack but is in fact plants evolving to defend themselves against humanity by *checks notes* using pollen to make people commit suicide.

Believe it or not, suicide-pollen is not the bad part of this movie.

That's the thing everybody makes fun of, and it is pretty clumsy and weird, but it's kind of a neat idea? With a different treatment, it could be pretty good. (Arguably, Bird Box is a very similar story). No, what makes The Happening suck is that it's just poorly made.

The script is unbearably on-the-nose, with characters just standing there explaining the plot to each other with no apparent characterization, subtlety, or motive. People make bizarre decisions to push the plot along. The cinematography makes some questionable choices, the music is...uh...aggressively sentimental

Shyamalan himself has said he intended the film to be a B movie, and I just...don't buy it. It's not fun enough or campy enough to be an enjoyable B movie, even when a guy is calmly feeding himself to lions and getting his arms ripped off like a Monty Python sketch.

youtube

Old (2021) is about a family who go to a fancy resort and receive an exclusive invite to a private beach, only to discover that time is broken there. Alongside several other families, they endure rapid aging, with children growing years within hours. They also can't seem to get off the beach, no matter what they try.

This is...a bonkers movie. And I wanted so badly to enjoy it. Parts of it did really work for me. But this film has a terminal case of Cinema Sins disease -- every single potential plot hole is lampshaded and self-justified in ways that just cause more skepticism.

In some ways this movie is telling a really interesting, genuinely heartfelt story about the human condition and life and aging and the value of relationships. In some ways it's a cautionary tale (?) about the pharmaceutical industry (???)

Interestingly, this one is actually not an original work. It's adapted or at least based upon a French-language Swiss graphic novel called Sandcastle by Pierre Oscar Levy and Frederik Peeters. I haven't seen the source material, but I strongly suspect that it's more fairytale-like and less, um. Whatever this is.

Bless your mess, Shyamalan. I'm going to keep watching these movies even though I know at least half of them will be terrible.

#horror movies #horror directors #m night shyamalan #old #the happening #Youtube

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golbrocklovely · 2 years

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Im not gonna deny Colby has issues but i dont want anyone to assume that simply because he hasnt been in a relationship since 2016ish that that constitutes as a red flag. You dont HAVE TO be in a relationship just because everyone else is. Hell im 28 and i will gladly say i have never had a boyfriend by choice, ive dated and had situation-ships but i am very content with my freedom, being alone not lonely, not having to worry about someone elses feelings when it comes to flirting or hooking up with guys, not having to inform anyone of what i do, working and worrying only about myself…Hes 25 and people have been forcing him to get a gf since before he was 20. Hes being smart, imagine if he had a gf right now and she was settled in Los Angeles, is he supposed to give up the opportunities to travel, party, move to vegas because of that? No he’d have to give up some in order for it to work unless she was willing to drop it all like Kats doing and then there would be some resentment . He has time and even if he didnt choose to settle til hes 35 or later because hes focusing on himself, thats ok.

He recognized he has issues and I personally feel he should work on that before committing to another person and worrying about their feelings, wants, and needs too. Dating or fooling around is different. We dont want him to loose himself like he said he did with his ex.

oh i agree. clearly colby himself hasn't wanted an actual relationship since he broke up with his ex back in 2016. every "relationship" he's had has just been hookups or flings, but nothing fully committed or serious. he literally has admitted over the years to never wanting a gf or not looking so i don't think there is anything wrong with him not wanting one or not having one all this time.

and you bring up a good point that bc he's not in la right now full time, he's not gonna be able to really keep one if he had one previously. not to mention, but snc are making money moves right now. they are doing the absolute most they can with their career, which is great, and that's why i kinda think colby isn't gonna get a gf anytime soon. i honestly think if sam didn't already have kat, he would be single too.

wow, i weirdly can't imagine both of them single at the same time lol

i don't think the previous anon was trying to make it seem like colby is lesser than for not having a gf all this time, however. i think they were just saying it.

#ask #personal #cb ll

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lilchicknugg · 11 months

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to commemorate me being on tumblr heres a questionnaire i filled out a few months ago!

Rules: Complete the form by answering each section truthfully. Once you’ve finished, tag other users to complete the task. Begin by sourcing the person who tagged you.

Have you ever…

Been cheated on: never gave anyone the chance to

Kissed someone and regretted it: i haven’t had my first kiss yet but i’d probably only kiss someone i was already comfortable around

Drank hard liquor: once

Been drunk and thrown up: i’ve never gotten drunk but after drinking tequila for the first time i threw up later in the night (i’m allergic to alcohol)

Met someone who changed you: probably my two friends who i met in the 6th grade who taught me to break rules for the first time. i was always scared to disobey authority figures (parents and teachers) in my life but after meeting them i was able to find who i really was and grow into myself. they also taught me that its LOTS of fun breaking the rules.

Fallen out of love: i have never fallen in love (in another reality, i would love to tho)

Found out who your true friends are: yes—my sisters are my closest friends

Lost glasses: nope, i take very good care of my things

Sex on the first date: no. i would only have sex the night i get married.

Been arrested: i’m not cool enough for that

Turned someone down: kind of? he asked if he could get to know me better and the idea alone made me want to cry forever so i stood up for myself for once and told him i didn’t have time for that. it wasn’t technically a lie since i was extremely stressed about college applications and all he wanted to do was talk about college plans.

Fallen for a friend: i don’t really have guy friends

What was your…

Last drink: lipton iced tea

Last text message: “x men first class guys”. i texted it to a group chat with my sisters and cousin since we were trying to find a movie for movie tonight. P.S. i love x-men!! first class might be my favorite but i haven’t finished the entire saga yet since i’m trying to go through it slowly. the last x-men movie i saw was x-men apocalypse which a pretty good movie too!

More questions…

Do you have any pets: nope but i hope to someday own a fish, bunny and or german shepherd. my sisters have had lots of pets though. they had a bunny, guinea pig, pug and beagle. the bunny and guinea pig have long passed away but the pug and beagle are still alive and are currently residing in our farm. it’s a real farm btw not the kind of the farm that parents tell their kids they put their pets in whey they die.

What did you do for your last birthday party: i went to a cafe with my two friends for breakfast then my family and i went to a restaurant for dinner. the best part was when my sister and i both made our own birthday cakes and blew out candles before midnight!

Name something you cannot wait for: the graham effect by elle kennedy! there aren’t many details yet but im assuming its a book about the children of hannah wells and garrett graham from the deal which is one of my all time favorite books.

What irritates you: when people touch my things/ move it from its rightful spot

Nickname(s): meg (i severely dislike it and told everyone not to call me that but no one listened)

Relationship status: single! since birth!

Favorite TV show: vampire diaries, smallville, gossip girl and rick and morty

High School: oro christian grace school

College: ateneo de manila university (truthfully, i hope to transfer school soon)

Hair Color + Length: dyed brown hair! around mid-boob length

Height: 5’2” (im ok with it)

Your crush: ryke meadows

Tattoos: none. i don’t know if i want one though, i change my mind too much to commit to something permanent on my body

Right or left-handed: right

Any surgeries: never

Any piercings: one piercing on each ear. i have gold diamond earrings i’ve been wearing since the 7th grade but i really wish they were silver

Favorite sport: none but hopefully i get into ballet soon

First vacation: hong kong? i don’t remember what we did but i know we used to go there a lot when my sisters and i were younger. though if i were to guess, we probably went to disneyland and stayed in marco polo hotel.

What do you like…

Hugs or kisses: hugs i think

Shorter or taller: taller for sure. ideally someone around 5’10”.

Older or younger: older but not too much older i guess. maybe 5 years older would be the cut off.

July 2, 2023 (Sunday) 4:04 AM

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xulachics-theblackgirltake · 1 year

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500 Kenadi C

What is there to say about a lawyer dating a bus driver? My general answer to this question is that there is nothing wrong with a woman being a breadwinner in the relationship; however, I would not want to be in that position. There are a lot of things that come with being the financially dominant one in a relationship. To me, it is equivalent to being the only friend in college with a car, all responsibility falls on you. With the car situation, you can easily refuse services to a friend, but being the breadwinner wife, you are your family or spouse's source of income. I think of scenarios like, if I were to lose my job, could he jump in position and financially take care of the both of us or would I have to fend for myself because he can only take care of himself.

As stated before, I think it is ok for a lawyer to date a bus driver because we have to look beyond societal norms and societal stereotypes or assumptions about certain professions. In the black community, if a woman were to be a bus driver and her husband the lawyer, that would be deemed normal. If roles were switched, it would be assumed that “that man is taking all of her money”. We have to accept and understand that accommodating eachother’s lifestyles, commitments, and responsibilities are a few factors that lead to a healthy and stable relationship.

On the other hand, why is it just assumed that the bus driver is not the breadwinner. There is a boy on campus that has a true passion for driving buses. His family is helping him with his bus career while he is also earning his degree. In his future, he will be a bus driver with a degree so at any time he can match his wife financially or maybe even go beyond her finances.

It was brought up in class that what would they even talk about as a couple and they are on two different levels in a work setting. I do not think that matters whatsoever. As long as the two feel as if they match each others goals, endgame plan, and ultimate desires then everything will work for them as a couple.

While I am preaching, I still would not want to be the significant other with higher income. Personally, I would feel like I am dominated on so many more levels than just finances. In every aspect of a relationship, I feel like I should be taken care of, but again these are personal expectations. There are women who want to completely be in control in some or in all aspects. As a college student who is taking care of myself, I would not get into a relationship where I still would be taking care of myself and that goes for when I graduate college as well. Otherwise, I could have stayed single. I think it is vital to learn independence, but when I am with a man its either all or nun.

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schizosupport · 1 year

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Hi, I saw some other annons ask about dating and you had some wonderful advice so my question revolves around a long time friend.

So my best friends brother, who I've gotten closer with too now, has had a crush on me literally since we were like 10. (we're 23-24 now) He's really sweet and I'd be open to a strictly romantic relationship. I identify as asexual and panromantic. He's a cis het man soo I'm not sure how he'd feel about a just romantic relationship.

I'm not sure how to bring this up to him, I feel like if I bring up the possibility of a relationship then if it's ends up we don't have the same needs / wants and I turn him down, that it would hurt him, or he'd feel led on and he's a really good friend and I don't want to lose him.

I'm also trying to be more self aware too. He's told me about his crush on me and has been open to me and I've always expressed I haven't felt the same. But also, I do like him a lot as a person, especially as we've grown up together and he's always been by my side, (even through my psychosis episodes) but on the other hand, I've been single a long, long time and I'm trying to figure out, do I really like him romantically or am I jumping at the chance for someone to fulfill something for me romantically. I am almost constantly feeling touch starved, I hate this feeling and I don't want to get into a relationship for just that reason.

Hi there!! Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, I do have some thoughts on the matter, though ultimately this is something you will have to judge for yourself (as you very well know). Still, I might have some kind of insight, so here goes nothing!

Ok so obviously there's a lot of stuff here - I guess there's the question of whether you are actually into this guy romantically or if you are just romantically lonely and touch starved. Another question is whether he would be accepting of you being asexual and (I assume based on the way you phrased it) you not wanting a sexual aspect to your relationship.

I mean, as for whether you actually want to be in a relationship with him and/or whether you are romantically into him.. this is a tough one honestly. I relate a lot to the term "quoiromantic" and I often wonder if I'm aromantic, polyamorous or both :P So what I mean to say is that I relate to not really knowing the nature of your feelings, but still considering and perhaps desiring a romantic relationship.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all. Feelings are nebulous and crushed are fickle things. The desire to be in a committed relationship with someone is above that (to me). It sounds like you guys already have a pretty committed friendship.

So the curious question here is - what more is it that you desire? What more might he desire?

You mention feeling touch starved, so I'm thinking you might have a desire to add physical closeness to the existing relationship. Beyond that you use the phrase "someone to fulfill something for me romantically". I wonder what those things might be? A couple things people may or may not desire, to inspire you: Physical closeness? Kissing? Dates and romantic gestures? Emotional intimacy? A shared future? Mutual emotional commitment? Monogamy?

I think it's important to consider what you are desiring out of a relationship beyond the label, especially in situations where some things are off the table for you, so that you can explain to yourself (and potentially to him) what you actually desire/offer in a relationship. That way you can each go into a potential relationship with 'open eyes'.

I can't deny that in a sexually and romantically closed relationship between two people where one partner desires sex in their life while the other doesn't, this can be a cause of frustration or even conflict. But people compromise about all kinds of things, and it's the job of each individual to be an an adult and make decisions openly. Sometimes someone agrees to try it out, and may eventually find that they can't make it work. It sucks, but it happens. But it doesn't have to end in tears.

I know a number of couples where one partner would technically want to have sex with the other, but doesn't because it's not mutually desired, and these people are still having happy, fulfilled relationships with each other.

There are plenty of people, asexual or not, for whom sex isn't that important an aspect of a relationship. But there are also people for whom sex is an important aspect of the emotional connection.

The only way to know which type this guy is would be to ask and to have an open discussion about it.

I'm guessing from context that he doesn't know that you're asexual, or at least if he does, he doesn't necessarily know that you don't desire sexual activities at all.

Since it sounds like the two of you are close, you might want to just go ahead and come out to him as ace/discuss this aspect of your life with him? It might provide some information about his feelings based on his reaction, and this way, if he still seems interested afterwards, you can refer back to this conversation, and he would already know, so you wouldn't feel as if you are "leading him on" if things start to turn romantic.

Asking someone out doesn't have to be like writing a contract.. but i genuinely think that clearing up with yourself what you desire and where your boundaries are, is a good first step.

I feel like there's so much more to say honestly, but I could text all night, so I'll end it here ...

But you're welcome to ask follow up questions ^^

Night night!

#sex mention cw

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betwixtstarfall · 2 years

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Copy pasting my youtube comment on Bayonetta 3′s ending cause I feel strongly about it

Spoilers, ye be warned as all hell

Spoilers here man, I warned you.

I finished this the day it came out in the US since I got it in Japan, so I have had THOUGHTS. TBH, I'd take just about everything with this ending--even the Luka Bayo hookup, cripes--if they just clarified what happened with Singularity dispersing, and if that restored the worlds. That single change can open the doors to SO many things. 1. Were Luka and Bayo's uncharacteristic closeness there a result of their many selves collapsed in on each other? Cause at least one verse out there is a Bayonetta and Luka who had a kid together. That and Bayonetta's extreme vulnerability in that moment could have accounted for that moment. It wouldn't take too much work to retcon/reclarify their affirmations to each other and the kiss as mutual comfort and support in the face of the end rather than a full on commitment to a relationship so many fans are weirded out about. 2. Manhattan is clearly restored, even things destroyed in the end are back as if they never broke (see: the statue of liberty with the oxidization green color only time could have created, making a point of showing the unbroken cruise ship from the start). Enzo talking on the phone to someone he calls 'baby' could be seen as a dirty rat moment of him getting a gf so soon after his family died, but he's been characterized as nothing but a devoted family man from the start, even with his various flaws. This insinuates that everything destroyed or vanished in the Singularity incident was restored--including, potentially, people. This gives us the tools to assume Jeanne is ok. So what is she up to? We need to see before we can call this game 'over.' 3. Rodin makes a mention to Viola that its him who 'has to hear it from her Pops if she skips school.' Rodin, as the only guy among them who can visit Hell, all but confirms that Luka at least is unharmed and in a place to be checking in on Viola's progress. What's the situation in Hell where Luka's safe to do that? 4. The Old Book of Stories you can get after the end of the game, and the simple game with Cereza and plush Cheshire. What is that doing in the game? Jeanne is featured at the end, calling out for Cereza. Is she looking for her? It's a pretty world, but there are demonic plants and she's jumped by monsters at the end before the cliffhanger. Is this possibly post-game Bayonetta's 'hell' where she is vulnerable and underpowered, with Luka as the Cheshire doll? Will this lead to her gaining more footing, more power, and more of herself? 5. And while point 4 was just speculation, it WOULD be fitting to say that Bayonetta's soul would be one of the most hotly prized items in Hell for how utterly powerful Bayonetta is. Could that be something Bayonetta can utilize to her advantage down there? Can enough demons trying to wreck each other to get the right to eat her work to keep her safe from fulfilling her contract? Will Madama Butterfly reveal why her allegiance to Bayonetta has been so unnaturally strong? And, since her contracts are fulfilled and the infernal power is technically no longer hers to command, could she start defeating demons to earn their servitude, and potentially even set sights on becoming the Queen of Hell? That's FAR more fitting a goal for her than just rolling up in a ball and dying. 6. As for Bayo 1 and 2 being there, sure it could be just badly explained fan service--but what if it could be more? What if Singularity accounted for space, but not time? The Eyes of the World have featured before, and its possible he thought that so long as the present was accounted for, the past was irrelevant. But what if it's Past Bayonettas from the main universe that saved Bayo in the end? Could that be explored to further work around any harm Singularity caused? In other words, addressing the rules of the Singularity's defeat could open up a lot of ways to give more satisfying resolutions, or even more satisfying cliffhangers. This is all not even mentioning exploring what the heck was up with Luka's sudden Thing, using Viola as an audience surrogate to slowly learn more about Witch abilities from the ground up, possibly reincorporating Loki into the cast when he's grown old enough. There's so much that can be done here! But Platinum has to work on a DLC or update, FAST, to mitigate the sheer disappointment people are going to feel at this ending, or the good will to receive all this potential might already be completely lost. Platinum, you got a grace period of a matter of days--think fast!

(OH and to clarify on Luka--I think it was more or less explained that it's not that Luka has always just been a werewolf or smth, the only thing that's ''always' been true is that his own voice (the voice of the Dark Adam) called out into the universe for other hims to 'seek the truth' and therefor he felt like a sham for claiming that his search for the truth was motivated by himself or by seeking justice against Bayo when really it was more a lifelong compulsion. Not even in universe did that reasoning impress anyone. But also, he's only a werewolf right now because in some verse or another, he had that power. And as his selves fold in on each other as Singularity keeps destroying other worlds, he gets saddled with more powers he doesn't actually know how to manage. So it's a side effect of the world's destructions, not a latent power or condition to the Luka we know per say.

Course, does the idea that Luka is the destined Proto-Adam to Bayo's Proto-Eve seem contrived and stupid as hell? Oh absolutely. But if the scifi angle can keep it in its pants and say that's just the naming system and doesn't really elude to their relation to one another just their roles, I can let it go. 'Destined by fate to belong to someone by nature of their being' doesn't seem either of their styles, nor fit the main theme of deciding their own truth. Also what does a proto-Adam even...do? Wrong answers only thx )

#bayonetta3spoilers #bayo3spoilers #spoilers

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sagegr33n · 3 years

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ᴵ ᵒⁿˡʸ ᶜᵃˡˡ ʸᵒᵘ ʷʰᵉⁿ ᶦᵗˢ ʰᵃˡᶠ ᵖᵃˢᵗ ᶠᶦᵛᵉ, ᵗʰᵉ ᵒⁿˡʸ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᴵ'ᵈ ᵉᵛᵉʳ ᶜᵃˡˡ ʸᵒᵘ ᵐᶦⁿᵉ

Pairing- Fwb! Bakugou x Black! Fem! Reader.

Summary- As long as you've known Katsuki Bakugou , He's never been the type for commitment. you were ok with that at first - but after a while his fuck and dip lifestyle started to leave you feeling used and drained .You were thinking today you'd finally have the strength to break things off with him , but as usual Bakugou seems to have different plans.

Content warning- semi-established relationship, manipulation/blackmail/dubcon ,Possessive Bakugou,Black reader, Body descriptions, fem anatomy, fem reader, dumbification, Porn with plot, degradation, Bakugo's pretty mean, civilian au/no quirk 18+ MdnI

You knew he wouldn't be there when you turned over.

Katsuki's presence was something that couldn't be ignored, and right now your room couldn't feel more bare.

You knew he wouldn't be there when you turned over, the same way you knew he had left as soon as you fell asleep. Long gone and on his way to stick his dick into anyone who'd let him .

You knew all of this, yet that didn't stop the sharp pang of reality from shooting across your chest and settling stubbornly in your heart when you flipped over to find a very, empty bed.

The reality is you don't mean shit to Katsuki bakugo.

But even as you're left with only his traces on your body in the forms of hickies and deep bruises, you cant bring yourself to actually hate him. He told you what this was from the start.

"Nothing serious, none of that relationship shit."

Sleazball, Slut, Passed around ? sure- but you cant call Katsuki Bakugou a lair.

No, if anything he was brutally honest.

You recall the time he smoked you out, and in your fuzzy lightheaded state you had made the mistake of asking him what you were to him.

"Good pussy" He had answered shortly , spending no time thinking about it before taking another drag of his swisher.

In all honesty you have no right to be upset. You know this.

Not once in you're relationship has Bakugou ever given you a single shred of hope of starting something serious.

He never stayed after he came.

Never asked if you needed aftercare.

Never even bothered to help with cleaning up after.

This- assuming that by some magical stroke of fate he would fall in love with you-was purely your fault, and today you were going to fix it.

Katsuki would show up at your door step at a approximately 5 :30 . That being the only constant in your relationship.

He'd show up at five thirty, and expect you to drop everything to attend to his needs. It didn't matter what you'd been doing or how tired you were. When Katsuki rang, you answered. But this time -This time you wouldn't.

You'd open the door- of course- but that was as far as things would go.

you wouldn't step to the side and allow him to slip into your apartment and you wouldn't allow him to talk you out of your panties. You would tell him you had no interest in being his plaything anymore and he would leave.

You could feel the weight beginning to lift off of your shoulders.

After today Bakugou Katsuki would no longer be your problem. It wasn't like you're relationship was progressing, and you were getting old to have fucking friends with benefits. You've come to the point in your life where you were strictly looking for serious things, and all of this was for the better.at least that's what you try to tell yourself.

By the time five o'clock rolls around, every bit of uncertainty has already evaporated from your body and when Katsuki's awaited doorbell ring echo's throughout your apartment you're not nearly as nervous and you thought you would be.

You crack the door open only slightly , just enough so that he can see your face an hear you clearly when you say

"Ive been thinking and we should stop seeing each other , don't come here again Katsuki."

You're proud of how steady your voice is.

You're starting to shut the door before a Jordan four clad foot jams into the doorway.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" The bass in his gravely voice seems to drain out all the self confidence you were so sure you had a minute ago.

"I think -we should-stop seeing each other." You repeat, cringing mentally at how faint you sounded.

Katsuki's carmine eyes seemed to study you for a second, head cocked to the side before he throws it back , a boisterous laugh erupting from him.

" What the fuck are you going on about shitty woman? He snorts "You sound like you're breaking up with me or some shit."

"Could you- could you move your foot?" You try again.

Your words don't seem to register to Katsuki as he simply pushes past you into your apartment, sending panic shooting though you. "The fuck are you doing? "I just -

"I heard you, I was just thinking you must've lost a few braincells from air loss when you were gagging on my dick last night. He sighs slipping off one of his shoes. "Or maybe those fucking braids are too tight."

His words sting- they always sting-but you dont back down. "Katsuki if you dont get out of my house I'm going to call the police."

He seems to become even more humored at this, a small smile forming on his lips.

" I'm tired of you coming over here whenever you feel like it and using me however you like. I'm grown as hell Katsuki, what the fuck do I look like having friends with benefits at this big age? Clearly whatever the fuck this is isn't progressing any further and its not like you cant go find some other bitch to get off on, Now get the hell out my house! you spit, words filled with venom.

"You done now?" Katsuki sighs uninterestedly. Your face heats up at how unbothered he is with your feelings.

"Because if you're little performance is over, we can try being transparent with each other. "

"What the hell are you-Get the fuck out Bakugou, right now!" You shout.

"I'll leave sure, but what would I do with all these pretty pictures you sent me?" The blonde asks more to himself than you.

Your heart drops to your feet as he continues "It'd be a shame if my finger slipped or some shit and my entire group chat , or maybe even your job got those ."

"y' think shitty hair will like your tits as much as I do?"

A lump forms in your throat as you recall the many lewd photos Katsuki had of you on his phone, you hadn't put it past him too refuse to delete them- but you never thought he'd be scummy enough to use them as some kind of fucked up blackmail.

"Y-you wouldn't " You whimper, tears starting to well up in your eyes.

The blonde's smile widens" That's right, I wouldn't, if you were to start acting like you have fucking sense and not like some brain dead idiot." Your breath hitches at that.

"You can start with losing all those fucking clothes." He smiles "Maybe I'll fuck you over the kitchen counter, never tried that before.. Katsuki trails off, pulling his shirt from over his head and your arms feel like lead as you do the same. you fiddled with your jeans hopping that by some stroke of luck He'd come to his damn senses.

"The fuck are you standing like that for?" Your dumbass forgot how to unbutton your pants or some shit?" The blonde growls .

"Gotta do every fucking thing around here!" He snaps stomping over to you, roughly grabbing the hem of your pants.

By the time he finally works your pants down past your ankles you know he has no intention of stopping.

"Y're already fuckin wet" He sneers , the dark spot seeping through underwear incredibly obvious. " Made such a big fuckin show of how fucking sick of me you are, but this cute brown cunt seems to know who she belongs too."

His voice sends ripples through your pussy and you knew he wasn't lying. No matter how much you tried to pretend you were done Bakugou Katsuki , your body was always there to bring you back down to reality.

"Cute little bitches like you have no business thinking, the blonde mumbles, two thick fingers prodding at your entrance. "The only fucking thing you need to be thinking about is taking my cock, you leave all the important decisions to me alright?"

He pushes both fingers in with no warning and you tense, whimpering at the sudden intrusion. "S' fucking sloppy for me, its like this shit is all your good for" Katsuki chuckled. "But lets be fucking honest, it is all your good for, or else I wouldn't be here, but you knew that already." Katsuki groans , fingers plunging deeper inside of you as he bends you over your kitchen island.

He slides his fingers out of you swiftly, pressing his print against your thigh , rutting harshly. You curse the way your hips grind back, as if the action was muscle memory.

"See this fucking body knows what it wants, why dont you tell me too?"

You want nothing more than to punch the smug look he no doubt has on his face off of him. Scream, shout, curse his name. But you won't. He knows it, you know it.

"M'not gonna fucking put it in until you fucking beg."

Maybe if you had refused, pushed him off of you-something -anything, the outcome would have been different. But as usual , the relationship existed on Katsuki' terms. It always had, and it always would. He knows it, you know it.

When Katsuki Rang you answered. And today would be no different.

"P-please, Suki'-wan-want it inside , please." You whimper, the shame you felt for complying long gone.

"Cant-fuck-Cant fucking hear you."

" Need it-Need it suki' please"

That seems to please him since you feel the thick mushroom head of his cock poke into your entrance, sending ripples through your body.

"Already clamping down on me-fuck " The blonde groans resting his head in the crook of your neck, the sound of his hips slamming against your ass echoing throughout your apartment.

The night becomes a blur. Orgasm after orgasm wrecking through your body. Katsuki seems to make it a point to take you on every surface he could find, doggystyle on the couch, reverse cowgirl on the kitchen table. Laying you down on the abdomen and yanking your legs onto his shoulders. Thrust deeper, hands holding on tighter.

Somehow the two of you make it to the bedroom and the way Katsuki is plowing you into the mattress made you felt like you were melting. Any shame you might have felt was completely gone, you felt so fucking full, so good.

Until you felt nothing at all.

----

When you wake up, you knew he wouldn't be there.

You know this and still the pang of hurt shoots through you when you turn around to an empty bed. You weren't strong enough to get rid of him. You'd never be strong enough to get rid of him.

A small part of you had always known this. Known you were bull shitting yourself when you said you were done with Katsuki Bakugou. Bull shitting yourself by thinking you had any say anyways.

Bull shitting yourself into thinking one of these days you'd turn around and he'd still be there.

---

Toxic Bakugou tbh! 🧘🏾‍♀️

repost and notes are always appreciated ofc.

You might be interested in my masterlist

#my hero academia #mha x female reader #my hero x reader #mha smut #bakugou x reader #black!reader #black reader #x black reader #bakugou x black reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou smut #black reader smut #mhaxblackreader #my hero smut #bakugou katsuki smut #mdni #thinkingaboutoboro

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