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cuthian · 2 years

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A Song Only You Can Hear Chapter Twenty-One

Guys, this is it.

The final chapter. The whole series is done. This is madness, y'all. I've been working on this for two years.

I apologize for the delay: I wasn't in the mood for JatP for a while, and there was some minor drama with an emergency surgery and my leg that refused to work for a while, and I switched jobs in the middle of that, so.. life's been crazy for a bit.

Anyway, to everyone who has been here with me throughout the entire series, thank you so much. I love you all, and I don't think I would've been able to finish this without the unwavering support you all showed me! Thank you to everyone who's been listening to me bitch about this series and this work for months and years on end. You know who you are and I love you all, you're saints.

I'll not keep you longer.

Enjoy, darlings.

Love Annaelle

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TWENTY-ONE EPILOGUE

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

– Gandalf the Grey

23 JANUARY 2021 (7:35 a.m.)

REGGIE

Reggie blinked lazily as Dmitri spoke to the ghosts gathered in front of the stage in the Club, feeling utterly exhausted and nervous and jittery at the same time. After Caleb and the man with the mask had disappeared, the Club had ceased crumbling around them, and chaos had broken loose when the Club ghosts had realized that their ties to Caleb and the Club had been severed.

Several of them had immediately poofed away, and some others had burst into tears, completely overwhelmed by the sudden freedom that’d been returned to them.

Reggie, Luke and Alex had managed to grab Willie, in the confusion, and had been planning to poof them back to Julie’s for safety, to regroup, to make sure they were all still there and in one piece, but Dmitri had stopped them before they could, sending a pulse of electricity through their glowing cuffs to remind them that the accusations against had not yet been dropped, and that leaving now would probably not end well for them.

That was how Reggie had interpreted it anyway.

Instead, they’d retreated to a relatively private corner to check each other over, so they could all hug Willie tight and thank whatever deity was out there for letting them stop Caleb from destroying him.

Dmitri had found them there again hours later and had removed the cuffs, although he had insisted they listen to what the Spectral Police had to say before they left. That was how Reggie found himself standing in the midst of a group of Club ghosts—Willie’s friends, he was relatively sure—as Dmitri and a ghost with weird, scary eyes explained what would be happening now that Caleb’s dominion over Los Angeles had been broken.

Alex was holding his hand in one hand and Willie’s in his other, squeezing so tightly his fingers tingled just a little, though it was oddly comforting too.

Luke had his arms wrapped around Reggie’s shoulders, pressed up against his back and absolutely refusing to move, no matter how many disapproving looks the various Spectral Police agents gave him during the course of the long, long speech. There had been some explanation of their own story, and the decision to allow them to be free, as long as they agreed to be trained in their powers—Reggie wasn’t exactly looking forward to that, because his power made him feel a little gross, but they’d agreed to the demand nonetheless.

They’d also suffered through several of the ghosts at the Club’s somewhat long winded stories and finally got to listen to Willie’s story.

Willie’s story had nearly made him cry.

It had made Luke cry, but then everything made Luke cry, so Reggie felt marginally better about how well he’d been able to keep it together. Alex had only tugged Willie closer while he’d been talking, setting his hand on Willie’s and squeezing it tightly.

He couldn’t wait to get away from here, to get back to Julie’s and to hug her and his sister and baby Reggie, because for a good long while, he’d been so scared he was never going to get to again.

“You are all free to do with your afterlives as you please,” Dmitri concluded, drawing Reggie’s attention back towards him. “It is imperative that you keep to the Laws ratified in 1607 for the safety of all ghosts—the breaking of the code will lead to imprisonment or termination, depending on the gravity of your crimes. If you are unsure of these laws, an official from the Spectral Police will remain in Los Angeles until a new deputy has been appointed.”

He fell silent for a moment, apparently waiting for anyone to raise questions or protest before he nodded. “Very good. You are all free to go,” his eyes strayed to Reggie and the others and Reggie could’ve sworn he saw the corners of his mouth turn up just the tiniest bit, breaking that emotionless facade he’d held every other time Reggie had seen him. “All of you are free to go.”

Reggie let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was still holding, sagging back into Luke and squeezing Alex’s hand back just as tightly. “We can go home,” Reggie breathed, still not quite believing the words, even as he spoke them out loud.

Willie was nodding furiously and Luke was humming happily, like he couldn’t quite contain the music that always lived inside him anymore, and Alex was leaning his entire side against Reggie’s, resting their heads together too. “We get to go home,” Luke repeated, his chest vibrating against Reggie’s back. “We can go see Julie and Maggie and the others.”

“We should go,” he insisted, wiggling in Luke’s stubborn embrace, trying to turn to face him. “We should go right now, it’s morning, Julie’s probably not at school yet, we can see her before she goes!”

When Luke refused to budge, Reggie turned pleading eyes on an unsuspecting and clearly unprepared Willie, who floundered a little before turning to Alex. “That’s not fair, how—how am I supposed to say no to him when he looks like that?!” He gestured towards Reggie impatiently, as if to encompass Reggie’s everything, and Reggie narrowly managed to suppress the urge to grin.

He might be a bit ditzy, but he knew the look worked on Alex and Luke and he was pretty stoked to find out Willie wasn’t immune either.

Alex let out a long suffering sigh and gave Reggie a look that told him Alex knew exactly what he was doing and he was only getting away with it because he was cute. “You’re not,” he told Willie with an eye roll. “It’s impossible. We’ve been trying since we were kids.”

Reggie beamed and wiggled happily, leaning back into Luke, who was chuckling softly.

“So we can go see Julie?” He asked again, looking between Alex and Willie eagerly.

Willie blinked again, shooting another helpless glance towards Alex and Luke, who were both equally unhelpful, before he shook his head and sighed. “I guess we can, but let me go first? Let me tell her that you’re coming and you’re safe, so you don’t give her a heart attack by just poofing into the room.”

Reggie pouted, as if that hadn’t been his exact plan, and muttered, “I wouldn’t have scared her.”

“Sure baby,” Luke chuckled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Let’s go with Willie’s plan though. You know how loud she screams when we startle her.”

Reggie wrinkled his nose but conceded the point and resigned himself to standing in place for a while longer. Willie smiled fondly at him, and Reggie’s insides did something warm and squiggly, not unlike the acrobatics they pulled when Luke and Alex smiled at him, and he wondered how it’d take them to reach that point too. Willie, clearly, wasn’t there yet, and Reggie didn’t mind waiting until he was.

They had all the time in the world now, didn’t they?

Willie pecked Alex’s cheek and said, “I’ll come get you guys when I’ve talked to her, okay?” before he poofed out, leaving them by themselves. Reggie sighed, and then reached out a hand to Alex, who had let go of his hand a little earlier to use both of his own to hold Willie, and wiggled his fingers insistently. “‘lex, too far,” he complained, pouting right up until Alex gave in, sliding his fingers between Reggie’s and stepping right up to him, curling his other hand around Reggie’s neck to pull him in for a kiss.

Reggie hummed happily against Alex’s lips, feeling a little dizzy because he had Alex right in front of him, holding him, kissing him, and Luke pressed close against his back and it was everything he’d ever wanted and more and he wasn’t sure what to do with the bubbly, mildly overwhelming feeling of happiness that was boiling over in him.

Alex kissed him deeply and firmly and Reggie fell into it like he always did, because he liked it when Alex took charge a little, kissed him the way Alex wanted to kiss him, reaching up to clutch at Alex’s shirt, holding on for dear life. They kissed until Reggie was unreasonably breathless and Luke was making little protesting noises, evidently feeling left out.

“What,” Alex hissed when he pulled back, glaring a little at Luke.

Reggie didn’t have to be looking at Luke to know he was pouting when Luke said, “You’re leaving me out. Just wanted to remind you I’m here, that's all.”

Reggie huffed a laugh at the look Alex gave Luke, before Alex abruptly moved forward and pressed his lips to Luke’s over Reggie’s shoulder. Luke gave a surprised, muffled squeak and Reggie made a noise not unlike a mouse that’d been stepped on as he stared, trapped between them.

Dear God, how was he supposed to survive dating both of them?

They had absolutely no right to look this good together.

“I was gone for like five minutes,” Willie’s amused voice broke Reggie from his wide-eyed stare, and Luke and Alex broke apart too, though much slower and more reluctantly, all three of them turning to blink at Willie. The other ghost had both eyebrows raised at them, hands pushed into his pockets, although he was smiling too, clearly amused.

Reggie’s cheeks flushed and he wondered just how long Willie had been standing there, how long he’d been watching them, and he found, a little to his own surprise, that he wouldn’t have minded if Willie had been watching when Alex kissed him either. “We had a traumatic few days,” Luke piped up finally, loosening his grip on Reggie to grin at Willie. “Can’t blame us for taking a bit of comfort in each other.”

Alex snorted and rolled his eyes. “You mean whining until you got your way.”

Luke beamed. “It worked, didn’t it?”

“Okay,” Willie interrupted before Alex could say anything snarky in reply. “As amusing as this is, you guys have someone waiting to see you.”

Reggie perked up immediately, bouncing over to Willie. “She was still at home? Can we go see her?”

Luke and Alex seemed snapped from their mood too, both looking up eagerly at Willie, who was smiling fondly at them. “Yeah,” he nodded. “She’s waiting for you guys. And don’t be surprised if she’s somehow managed to amass everyone by the time we get back there.”

Alex wrinkled his nose. “It’s been like two minutes.”

Willie gave him a deadpan look. “Exactly.”

Reggie laughed and Luke snorted, shaking his head in amusement. “Alright,” Alex chuckled, stepping closer again. “Let’s go. I wanna see everyone too.”

Reggie bounced closer, nerves bubbling in his stomach as he curled his fingers around Alex’s, tugging Luke along with him. His boyfriend went along easily, plastering himself against Reggie’s back again even as Alex reached for Willie with his free hand. It wasn’t really necessary for them to hold hands while they poofed somewhere, but after everything, Reggie had a feeling he wasn’t the only one who needed the reassurance of physical contact.

And even if he was, he was lucky enough to have a set of—potential—boyfriends that loved him enough to go along with his need to be very clingy with all of them for a while.

“Let’s go home,” Luke whispered, and Willie smiled a soft, unfairly attractive smile at him and Reggie was so gone on all of these boys it wasn’t even funny anymore.

Being teleported with someone else guiding the journey was still a dizzying thing, and even when that someone was Willie, who loved them and who was careful with them, Reggie’s head was still spinning and he felt a little like he was gonna be sick—you know, if that had been a thing he could still do.

He barely had a chance to catch his breath though, because as soon as he caught a glimpse of Julie’s familiar, brightly decorated bedroom walls, there was a loud, ear piercing squeal and two forms slammed into them, sending the group of them tumbling to the ground in a messy pile.

“Ow,” Alex, who had ended up at the bottom of the pile, complained, but Reggie could tell he was smiling, even though his vision was currently obscured by a cloud of curly hair.

“I was so worried!” Julie sobbed, digging her fingers into Reggie’s arm, pressing harder into them. “It can’t be over just like that!” She pushed upwards a little, consequently shoving Flynn to the ground, and glared down at them. “Are you sure it’s over?”

“Caleb’s gone,” Luke said from somewhere within the pile, voice a little muffled. “He was the one that got us into trouble in the first place, and with Dmitri on our side, it’s easier to get them to listen to us.” He then yelped when Alex moved, clearly fed up with his friends using him as a body pillow, and shoved upwards, dislodging everyone and sending them all rolling onto the floor.

Reggie landed on his back, one leg stuck under Julie's bed at an awkward angle and his hand still trapped under Willie and stared up at the ceiling with a dopey grin as Luke and Alex began griping at each other and Julie began scolding them and demanding more details about everything that had happened at the club before they’d made it back.

It was messy and loud and chaotic and Reggie loved it.

They were home.

————

“Peace is a journey of a thousand miles and it must be taken one step at a time.” —Lyndon B. Johnson

23 JANUARY 2021 (12:37 p.m.)

JULIE

Julie’s hands were only shaking a little bit as she reached out for Luke’s, Emily’s bloodshot but keen eyes fixed on her every move. The moment had been long in the making, and she was sure that they were all feeling the tension of it—Reggie, Alex and Willie were waiting outside, because as much as they all wanted to be there for Luke, this was something between him and his parents.

And, by necessity, Julie.

She could tell the instant Luke became visible. Emily let out a fragile little sound, pressing her hands to her lips as she stared at her son with wide, tearful eyes. Behind her, Mitch was staring at Luke in utter disbelief, like, despite everything, he hadn’t quite believed until he’d seen Luke appear in front of him.

“Mom,” Luke breathed, lower lip trembling and his eyes already filled with tears, “Dad.”

“Oh, my boy,” Emily sobbed, getting to her feet unsteadily, ignoring her husband and son as they tried to steady her, and threw her arms around Luke.

Luke stood frozen for a split-second, as if he hadn’t quite expected this reaction, before he melted into his mom, bursting into tears along with her. Tears stung in Julie’s eyes too, and she watched as Luke’s father took a few unsteady steps forward until he was close enough to envelop his wife and son in his arms, until he was close enough to clutch them to him and until he could press his face into Luke’s hair, like he was breathing him in.

Julie tore her eyes away.

It wasn’t that she begrudged Luke this moment with his parents, with his mother. Far from it, even—Julie was relatively sure that she understood better than anyone how Luke had felt before he’d been able to have this moment with his mom. Better even than Maggie, who had spent most of her life wishing for a chance to find out what had happened to her brothers, who had spent most of her waking hours since the boys had been killed wishing for another chance, because it was different, wasn’t it?

Maggie had lost her brothers, but Luke and Julie had lost their mothers.

It was different.

So no… it wasn’t that she begrudged Luke the moment. It was just that she wished, more than anything else, that she would be granted a similar moment. Her greatest desire was still to turn back time, just far enough to find her mom and hug her and never let her go again.

She swallowed thickly and left Luke and his parents, giving them the privacy that matched the intimacy of the moment, tears burning in her eyes the entire time. As soon as she stepped out of the house and onto the porch, the other boys swarmed around her and she was drawn into a tight hug by Alex, who set his chin on the top of her head and whispered, “Thank you,” with such feeling it very nearly made Julie cry all on its own.

When Alex released her, Reggie and Maggie took his place almost immediately, but not quite fast enough that she didn’t catch a glimpse of Dmitri standing stone faced at the far end of the porch.

They hadn’t taken any chances this time.

Dmitri and a revolving door of other Spectral Police ghosts had visited the studio on a daily basis while she was at school, teaching the boys about the various laws that were implemented for ghosts after their passing and how to control their powers and appearances so they weren’t entirely dependant on Julie’s interference anymore.

They weren’t quite good at maintaining the appearance themselves yet, which was why they’d needed her here today, but she could tell it made all of them—especially Reggie and his especially destructive powers—feel better about learning to control this new aspect of their existence.

Dmitri had been the one that granted Luke special permission to see his mom.

He had insisted he be there too, because emotions could run high, and they’d all seen what big emotions were capable of doing to the boys’ powers. None of them wanted to take any sort of risks with Emily and Mitch or any of the other lifers, so Dmitri was here, pretending he didn’t feel anything at all, even though they were all at least a little misty-eyed.

She buried her face back against Alex’s chest and fisted her hands in the back of his hoodie, allowing herself a moment to breathe through the heartache witnessing Luke’s reunion with his parents had inadvertently caused her. Alex seemed to understand without her needing to say anything and just held her tighter, and when she finally did pull away, it was to find Maggie and T’Nia sitting on the front steps together and Reggie and Willie leaning against each other next to Dmitri, who seemed to be patiently answering questions about whatever had sparked Reggie’s curiosity this time.

“How long should we give them?” She asked Alex quietly, reluctant to break the quiet bubble they’d created.

He shrugged a little, eyes flitting between Reggie and Willie and the front door. “I’m sure he’ll come out when he’s ready. He’ll let us know when—”

His mouth snapped shut when the front door swung open and Luke tumbled outside, his hair a mess and his eyes rimmed with red. “She—” he choked, a smile on his face, “Reg, Alex, she wants to see you. And Willie too, obviously,” he he added, beckoning them inside, and Reggie and Alex nearly tripped all over themselves in their rush to join their best friend—boyfriend? Julie wasn’t sure anymore—while Willie chuckled, following at a more sedate pace.

Julie chuckled too, and it felt like something… something settled, in her heart, in her soul, so deeply that she didn’t quite have words for it, something she wouldn’t be able to name until she discussed it with Luke, probably, and turned it into music instead.

There was a gentle hand on her shoulder then, and she turned, finding Maggie standing behind her.

“You alright?” She asked softly. “That wasn’t—it can’t have been easy.”

Julie shook her head. “No. It wasn’t.” She glanced back towards the door and smiled, genuinely. “But it was right.”

————

“I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” –John Green

10 MARCH 2021

ALEX

The concert was over, and the music had been good, loud and strong and catchy enough that it managed to silence the anxious little voice that lived in the back of Alex’s head, and he and Luke danced and laughed and kissed, unseen among the thick throng of lifers on the dancefloor until Alex’s head spun, and he was tired and exhilarated in the best way.

Dates with Luke were always like this, energetic and exciting and exhausting, and always left Alex craving the steadiness of Willie’s arms and the sweetness of Reggie’s kisses after, no matter how much he enjoyed spending time with Luke like this again. They were better matched, now, than they had been at fifteen, both of them calmer and more settled and more knowledgeable about themselves. Reggie and Willie balanced them out, helped soothe Alex’s nerves when Luke got too overenthusiastic and loud, and helped settle Luke when Alex’s response wasn’t what he expected it to be, when he didn’t understand Alex’s anxiety.

Alex figured they should probably have realized they needed Reggie—and later on, Willie too—to balance them out a lot sooner. It might’ve saved them all a lot of heartache.

Luke had popped off to see if the band was planning on playing more songs, and Alex leaned back against the wall, letting his eyes travel across the faces in the crowd absently. He vaguely made note of a dark-haired woman—a ghost, he realized when she walked right through a couple that was passionately kissing in the middle of the dancefloor—who was bobbing up and down near the stage, her skin a deep, russet, reddish-brown, beautiful even under the dim lights of the club. His gaze drifted from her to the tall, portly man that was sweating into his hilariously out of place three-piece suit while he glared at the stage, cheeks flushed with heat and annoyance as he tried dodging the various clubgoers and groupies.

There were actually quite a few couples just like him and Luke—albeit alive—dancing and laughing and entirely wrapped up in each other and both men or both women, without a care in the world. It was still a little mind boggling to Alex, and he knew things weren’t perfect, that people like them were still discriminated against continually, but…

He eyed a pair of girls—one of which sported pink hair so bright it lit up even in the dim lights in the club—that were dancing near the edge of the dancefloor, slow dancing with their arms wrapped around each other, comically out of step with the loud rock music that was playing through the speakers, and couldn’t help but smile.

He hadn’t done anything like that with Luke, who probably wouldn’t be able to hold a pace that slow for more than two minutes, but Reggie would probably love it.

Alex made a mental note to take Reggie dancing sometime soon.

His eyes traveled across a tall, dark haired man that was standing on the edge of the crowd, without really seeing him, briefly admiring the sharp line of his jaw and the bright blue of his eyes when the lights hit him just right, before he turned to look for Luke.

He’d taken one step towards the stage, where Luke was hovering over the guitarist’s shoulder, before his memory caught up with what he’d seen and he froze. For one, excruciatingly long, absolutely terrifying heartbeat, Caleb smirked back at him, eyebrows raised in the same mocking expression he’d worn just before Samuel had shown up—and then a flock of college girls passed between them, tittering and giggling as they moved from the dance floor to the bar.

By the time they were gone, so was Caleb. Not that he’d ever really been there to begin with.

Alex had had nightmares about Caleb ever since the man had disappeared—moved on, a little voice that sounded like Dmitri reminded him, he moved on—and it shook him to the core every time, because Alex hadn’t quite realized how much he’d been impacted by what Caleb had done to them until he began seeing him, until Caleb started very nearly haunting him.

Alex let a shuddering breath fall from his lips and ran his shaking hands through his hair, slipping around the corner to the bathrooms. His heart—deader than a damn doornail and yet still trying to kill him—felt like it was simultaneously trying to beat its way out of his chest and trying to lodge itself in his throat, obstructing his breath and making his head spin and his stomach churn. He knew he hadn't really seen Caleb, knew that if Caleb was somehow still around, Dmitri would’ve found him, would've known, but his skin itched with the urge to go back out there and check, to make sure that he’d been seeing things, that Caleb hadn’t cheated the system and returned to Earth just now, ready to tear apart the easy existence Alex was just beginning to settle into with the others.

His stomach turned sharply and he gagged, burying his face in his hands to wait out the wave of nausea. He couldn't really get sick anymore, of course, but his soul remembered the feeling, and it liked to throw the memory of nauseating anxiety attacks at him whenever things like this happened.

He didn’t startle when he heard someone stop right beside him though, and he didn’t pull away when he felt Luke’s fingers wrap around his wrists, offering him the grounding touch he needed to draw himself from his downward spiral. “Take a deep breath,” Luke instructed him calmly, waiting for him to comply before he moved one hand to rub his back gently.

Luke had gotten a lot better at helping Alex manage his anxiety since everything, had settled into knowing that sometimes, all Alex needed was to know he was there. It was comforting, to have his boyfriend sitting right beside him, their bodies pressed close together and reminding Alex what it felt like to breathe normally.

He exhaled in a rush, shaky and unsteady, and shook his head, trying to dispel the image of a smirking, dangerous, terrifying Caleb from his head.

Caleb was gone, he couldn’t come back, he couldn’t hurt them anymore—he couldn’t get his hands on Reggie and force him to use his powers, couldn’t make Luke use his influence, couldn’t bully Alex into causing mayhem with another earthquake—couldn’t tear Willie’s soul to pieces and force him to watch—

And the thing about it was…

Alex remembered dying. He remembered the pain, the nausea, the feeling like someone was forcing glass down his throat, but it’d been nothing compared to being forced to listen to Reggie being tortured, to watching Luke try desperately to get out of their cell and watching him break into a million little pieces when he couldn’t, nothing compared to how he’d felt when he’d thought he was watching Willie be destroyed.

“Alex, come on,” Luke reminded him softly, sliding his hand up from Alex’s back to tangle his fingers in his hair. Alex inhaled a little too sharply at the feeling, his brain abruptly making a U-turn and reminding him of the last time Luke had tangled his fingers in Alex’s hair—it’d been a decidedly more pleasurable occasion than an anxiety attack—and nearly choked on the breath before he managed to exhale with a cough.

“There you go,” Luke smiled, scratching at Alex’s scalp soothingly. “What happened? I was only gone for a minute.”

He looked worried and startled, now that Alex was looking closely, and God, Alex didn’t know what he would’ve done without him. Alex loved him and Luke was his best friend and his boyfriend and probably the love of his life—a title he did have to share with Willie and Reggie—and Alex didn’t ever want to lose him.

“I saw Caleb again,” he whispered plaintively. “I saw him standing right there, like he was just waiting for me to see him, and then—then he was just gone again, but I couldn’t—I can’t shake him.” Luke exhaled sharply and shook his head as he settled beside Alex, leveling him with a serious look while pressing as close as he could physically manage.

“Shit, Alex, that sucks. I’m sorry. I thought—I thought it was getting better?”

Alex shrugged. “I thought it was too. I hadn’t—I haven’t seen him in a while.”

Luke fell silent, tangling their fingers together on Alex’s lap, and pressed a kiss to Alex’s cloth-covered shoulder. “Anything you need right now? Something I can do to make it better?”

Alex shook his head and slumped a little, tucking himself closer to his boyfriend and exhaled. “No,” he whispered. “I’ll bring it up to Carla, but…” He nudged himself a little closer and added, “This is helping already.”

Carla—the ghost therapist that Dmitri had assigned to them when it’d become clear they’d all been extremely affected by their time in Spectral Police custody—would likely have a lot to say about their codependency again, but Alex couldn’t bring himself to care. He knew they were codependent—they had been for years, to the point where they’d even died on the same day.

He sincerely doubted anything was going to change now.

“I’m sorry you’re going through this,” Luke said softly. “I know it’s hard. I still have nightmares too, but… I know you and Reg… I know you were more shaken. And I hate that I can’t make it better. I love you. I don’t wanna lose you.”

Luke was, in a way, not entirely wrong.

Luke’s nightmares were less frequent and often less intense than Alex or Reggie’s, but Luke’s trauma showed itself in different ways. Alex noticed it in the way Luke clung to them, in the way his eyes would dart around to check every corner when they entered a new room, in the way he was just a little more careful about the way he spoke now, and Alex hated that Luke seemed to think his hurt was lesser somehow because he had fewer nightmares.

“You do make it better,” he told Luke firmly, turning towards him so he could look his boyfriend in the eye. “When I wake up, or when I turn around and you’re there, you and Reg and Willie, when you’re right there and I can—I can touch, I can feel—” he broke off and shrugged. “You help.”

Luke’s face did something that looked complicated, like too many emotions flitted through his mind at once before he settled on an expression that was so fond it made Alex’s heart ache a little.

Before he could say anything, Luke swooped forward and kissed him, pressing their lips together in a short, warm kiss that made Alex tingle from head to toe. “I fucking love you,” Luke blurted as soon as they parted, smiling brilliantly. “And I think we should go home, because you look like you need Reggie and Willie cuddles.”

Alex nodded jerkily. “Yes please,” he said eagerly, and Luke laughed again before he eased to his feet, reaching down his hand to pull Alex up as well.

Luke leaned up to his tiptoes once Alex was also standing again and pressed another kiss to his lips before telling him, sweetly, “Let’s go home.” Alex grinned and let the thought of Reggie and Willie, who’d been spending the afternoon together in the L.A. zoo, take over in his mind, thought of the couch and the many evenings they’d spent cuddled together on there since they’d returned to Julie’s, all of them together and separately.

When he blinked his eyes open again, they were standing in the studio, and Reggie and Willie were there too, and something eased inside of Alex’s chest when he caught sight of them, Willie sitting cross legged on his skateboard on the floor while Reggie was perched on the couch with his bass, Luke’s guitar lying on the pillows beside him, Reggie’s songbook propped open against it.

“—and it’s like I just can’t figure it out!” Reggie exclaimed, gesturing wildly, eyes trained on Willie. Willie was looking up at Reggie with veritable heart eyes, just like he had been more and more frequently in the past few weeks. They hadn’t kissed yet, hadn’t moved from extremely close and not entirely platonic friends to boyfriends yet, but Alex knew it was just a matter of time.

“I mean, the lyrics just aren’t making sense,” Reggie was saying, “and I can’t exactly ask Luke to help, he hates country music and Alex would just try to distract me so we can make out—”

Alex’s cheeks flushed—it wasn’t like Reggie was wrong, but Alex always tried to help, he just got distracted by Reggie very easily—and they hadn’t noticed him and Luke yet, and Alex found himself a little grateful for the respite because he didn’t even need to be looking at Luke to know he was smirking at Alex smugly, the bastard.

He opened his mouth to say something, to let them know they were there, but then Willie moved, hopping up onto the couch next to Reggie, grabbing the songbook as he moved. “Alright,” Willie said cheerfully, knocking his shoulder against Reggie’s. “Now bear in mind, the only thing I know about music is what you guys have shown me, but you could just switch this line with that one—” he pointed out something, and Reggie’s forehead crinkled into an adorable frown. “—and then this chord with this one, and you’ll have a whole new song!” Willie finished with a flourish, and Reggie blinked at him for a second before he burst into giggles.

“That’s—” he chuckled, “That’s really not how it works, Willie.”

Willie was laughing too, and Alex felt like he was frozen in place, watching as Willie grinned, bright and beautiful and happy, before he leaned in, catching Reggie’s face in his hands, and kissed him.

Alex’s jaw dropped.

“What?!” Luke demanded as soon as Reggie and Willie broke apart, both grinning casually at each other, like this was something they did every day. “Since when have you two been kissing?”

Reggie looked over, blinking a little in surprise before he broke into a grin and replied, happily, “Since just now, apparently.” He turned back to Willie. “I didn’t think you were there yet, you know, physically? I know it’s different for you. I was cool waiting for you to get there.”

Everyone turned to blink at Reggie.

“What?” Willie choked, and Alex echoed the sentiment, because… what?

Reggie looked between the three of them with a frown. “It takes Willie a while before he’s comfortable with physical stuff,” he said, like it was obvious, like it was something everyone just knew. “I knew he liked me too, but like…” he turned to Willie helplessly, “I asked Julie, and like, she told me all about asexuality and demisexuality and—and like, how some people need some time to get comfortable or to even feel that kind of thing even if they love someone, and I figured since you got there with Alex and Luke, it’d eventually happen for us too.”

Alex felt a little like he’d been smacked over the head with a baseball bat.

“You—” he choked, staring at Willie. “You’re asexual? But we—we’ve—Willie, we’ve had sex loads of times, why—why wouldn’t you have said something?”

“I—” Willie tried, looking wide-eyed between Alex and Reggie. “I don’t—I mean I—Alex, I’ve wanted everything we’ve ever done, okay? Don’t—don’t worry, I—I wanted to. I just—” he shrugged helplessly. “I wouldn’t care if we didn’t either. It’s not that I’m not—” He shook his head and choked, “I don’t know how to explain it, it’s why I never said anything before, I love everything we do, I just—” He looked back at Reggie, “How did you even know?”

Reggie shrugged. “It always takes you a while to warm up to physical stuff. Even hugs and stuff took you a long while, and I noticed you were into Luke long before you started kissing him. And I know you two haven’t slept together yet, so I—I just… figured it out.”

“God, I love you,” Willie blurted, and Reggie flushed a gorgeous, splotchy red, and Alex was still a little dumbfounded, was still trying to process all the new things he’d learned in the past ten minutes, not the least of which was that his boyfriend was asexual and hadn’t told him before they’d slept together, had just… gone along with it whenever Alex made a move.

Still, he managed a fond smile when Willie pressed another quick kiss to Reggie’s lips before bouncing to his feet and hugging Luke in greeting. Alex swallowed thickly and settled on the couch beside Reggie. Reggie grinned at him, still flushed but pleased too, and Alex was helpless in the face of that much cute, so he leaned in to kiss Reggie himself.

Reggie let out a happy giggle against his lips but kissed back, lifting his hand to thread his fingers through Alex’s hair, and Alex couldn’t help but melt into him, moaning very softly against Reggie’s lips. He could feel Reggie’s lips curve into a smile and he grinned too, so they weren’t even really kissing anymore, just laughing against each other’s lips and it was perfect.

They broke apart, still grinning, when Willie shoved at their shoulders playfully on his way back to his spot on the couch. “Sorry,” Reggie smiled, setting his bass down on the little coffee table before leaning back into the couch cushions, grinning like the cat that got the cream. His cheeks were still a little flushed and Alex couldn’t really take his eyes off him.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Willie chuckled. “I like sex with him fine, but next time he’s all grabby and horny, I’m pointing him your way. Your sex drive matches his way better than mine does.” Reggie squeaked and Luke snorted a laugh, and Alex’s cheeks burned.

When he chanced a glance up at Willie, his boyfriend was looking at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Alex’s cheeks flushed—it was a bit of a running gag, at this point, how distracted Alex got whenever Reggie blushed and kissed him, and he knew Willie found it equal parts adorable and amusing, and in hindsight, he should’ve figured out Willie didn’t really care about sex at all sooner.

Willie had never really pushed for his attention when it came to heated make outs or sex—once he’d come to terms with Alex’s feelings for Reggie and Luke, he had taken a step back in that regard and Alex wasn’t sure why he hadn’t noticed that before.

“So,” Luke said, throwing himself onto the couch between Alex and Reggie, throwing his arms around both of them—and God, he was ridiculous and Alex loved him and that probably said a lot about him too. “Are we all actually officially dating now?”

Alex looked up at Willie, whose ears were a little red, and then said, “Yeah. I guess we are.”

Willie smiled. “Good.”

————-

21 RISING ARTISTS TO WATCH IN 2021

These are the essential new and rising artists poised to make a major impact in 2021, including Arlo Parks, Teezo Touchdown, Blxst, Serena Isioma, Julie & The Phantoms, reggie, and more.

These 21 artists provided those moments for us during the worst year ever and are poised for breakthroughs in 2021. Whether it's a brand new artist just getting started or an act who leveled up and hit their stride, all 21 of these artists are worth keeping an eye on this year. It's time to look forward again, and these are some of the artists you have to be watching out for, in no particular order.

…

6. Julie & the Phantoms - this ‘phan-tastic’ memorial band combines early nineties nostalgia with a refreshing, modern twist and it’s got us on the edge of our seats!

Los Angeles-based band Julie & the Phantoms had a whirlwind of a year. Lead singer Julie Molina originally created the performance to re-audition for the music program at her Los Feliz high school and was met with incredible success. Each performance since her initial one, including a last-minute, jaw-dropping opening act for Panic! At the Disco at the legendary Orpheum, has been filmed and has gone viral, with each video hitting over one million views within a week of their initial posting.

At only seventeen years old, Julie, the high school student-turned-internationally famous singer, is coming into her own in a big way as she prepares for what many expect to be a break-out performance at Mothership, a feminist and queer festival in Los Angeles. While Molina is openly in a relationship with her girlfriend of two years, it was initially unclear if her other band members were also queer. When asked about her ‘phantoms’ - who have since been recognised to be three fourths of 1995 up-and-coming band Sunset Curve, who were tragically killed before their first performance at the Orpheum - Julie offers an emotional explanation.

“I grew up hearing stories about the boys, about—about the tragedy of them. My parents are close friends with the fourth member of their band, and my mother met the boys a few hours before—before. My parents bought the house they used to rehearse in, and when I found some of their old song books, it felt only natural to perform some, to honor them and their music. Playing Mothership felt right—Alex and Reggie had been dating for a long time before they died, and I hear from Trevor they were very close with Luke as well.”

Molina reconnected with Trevor Wilson, who was once the fourth member of Sunset Curve, and set about creating holograms that sounded and looked like his original three band members. “Once we were given permission to use their imagery and sound by all living family members, it was easy,” Wilson said when asked about the process. “I couldn’t do anything to honor my friends for a very, very long time, so when Julie came to me with the idea, I was more than happy to do whatever necessary to make it happen. I know they would’ve loved this—connecting with others through their music was their biggest dream, and I’m glad we can finally make it happen.”

Molina’s work is equally inspired by the original music, written by Luke Patterson, Reggie Peters and Alex Mercer, as it is by the work of modern artists—creating an amalgamation of emotionally raw lyricism and intensely moving instrumentals that cut straight through to listeners’ hearts. This was, as evidenced by some of the original texts shared by Molina on the band’s Instagram page, a specific talent of Luke Patterson’s, and one that Molina seems to share.

“I like to think we’d have been good friends,” Molina shared during an Instagram Live. “Everything I know about them is second-hand information, of course, but I can see we have very similar personalities. Music means everything to me, and it did to him—to them—as well. I hope sharing their music, their imagery, will show people the amazing talent these boys had. I wish they’d been remembered before, that who they were was remembered sooner, but I’m glad I get the chance to do this now. I hope that it lifts people up somehow, their—our—music.”

Check out Julie & The Phantoms at Mothership, where they’ll be playing the main stage at 2 pm on Saturday, or on their Youtube channel and Instagram.

—Eda Yu, “21 Artists to watch in 2021”, Complex, Pigeons & Planes, 2021, https://www.complex.com/pigeons-and-planes/2021/01/new-artists-to-watch-2021/

——————-

“The life of inner peace, being harmonious, and without stress is the easiest type of existence.” —Norman Vincent Peale

4 SEPTEMBER 2021

MAGGIE

“They look so real,” Alex’s mother breathed, her blue eyes wide and glassy with unshed tears as she watched the band perform. Julie was bouncing across the stage, belting out lyrics at the top of her lungs and Reggie and Luke were sharing microphones, playing at each other and at Alex, jumping and dancing across the length of the stage, switching off jumping up to play on Alex’s little platform and grinning at Julie as they shared a microphone. The crowd screamed and cheered, all of them wholly taken by the playful routine, and something deep inside Maggie’s chest that had been broken for as long as she could remember mended a little.

She imagined Alex’s mother felt much the same.

This was the first time since Maggie, Julie and Trevor had sought her out to get permission to use Alex’s voice and image on a larger scale that the other woman had attended one of the concerts, and a part of Maggie was glad she’d waited for this one.

After Julie and the boys had performed at Mothership, they had blown up and were being flooded with set offers and concert venues vying for their attention. Julie’s school had been forced to implement stricter access restrictions to their premises to make sure fans wouldn’t try to get in to find Julie in the hallways, and Maggie had arranged for a private security firm to update all alarm systems to the Molina property. They were likely being overcautious, but Maggie had seen plenty of artists get harassed by their so-called biggest fans, and if she could keep that from happening to Julie, she was going to make damn sure she would.

That meant booking smaller venues during the school months, and meant staying in and around Los Angeles as much as possible. It was why they’d booked the Orpheum again, this time with Julie and the Phantoms as the main act. It was the showcase the boys had never been able to play when they were alive, and their setlist today consisted of a lot more Sunset Curve songs than they usually added in, and Maggie could see the boys glow.

This was the show they’d been waiting to play their entire existence.

It was probably the best they’d ever played.

“I wish,” Alex’s mom muttered, drawing Maggie’s attention back to her. “I wish I’d understood.” She turned to Maggie and there were tears rolling down her cheeks. “I wish I’d been less afraid of what people would think—” she broke off and looked back to the stage, to Alex, who was grinning wildly at his boyfriends as he played. “I wish I’d told him I loved him more often. Do you think—” She swallowed thickly. “Do you think he knew? Do you think he knew that we—that I loved him so, so much? He was—Lord, he was my baby. I never thought we’d have another after Hannah, but then he came along, our little miracle. I wish I’d understood how strong and talented he was when he was still here, when I could still tell him.”

Maggie swallowed thickly too.

Reggie had confided in her that the dismissiveness of his parents after he’d come out still tore at Alex, still hurt him every day, that being kicked out by Reggie’s dad still ate at him and she’d seen how he was a little wary of Ray, sometimes, like he was just waiting for the day Ray would snap at him for holding hands with Reggie or Luke or Willie, like he was waiting for Ray to spit at Julie that her relationship with Flynn was unnatural and disgusting, even though they all knew Ray would be the absolute last person to ever do something like that.

“I think,” she tried, “I think you can tell him. You can visit their grave, talk to him. I talk to Reggie like that all the time. It’s almost like they’re there, waiting for us to come find them again.”

They’d debated whether or not to let Alex’s parents in on the secret, had debated on the pros and cons and had endlessly wondered about what the right thing to do was, but it had been Alex, in the end, who’d decided that it was too big a risk. His parents were devout Christians, and he couldn’t see any way in which they’d take the news of him being here as a ghost well.

Maggie privately wasn’t so sure, but the decision was Alex’s, and he’d made up his mind.

That didn’t mean she couldn’t encourage him to hear his mother out, that he couldn’t make sure to be at their gravesite when his mother would be there. She wasn’t sure if his relationship with parents—nowhere near as poor as hers and Reggie’s had been with theirs, but certainly not very good either—was a part of his unfinished business, but it certainly couldn’t hurt to have the reassurance that his mother loved him.

Maggie was self-aware enough to realize that even she and Reggie would probably love to hear that their parents loved them, despite their less than stellar parenting. It’d mostly made her more determined to be the best possible parent to Regina and the best partner she could be to T’Nia, who was home with the baby tonight.

Trevor and Ray stood in the wings on the opposite side of the stage too, swaying along with the music and bumping into each other ever so often.

They weren’t dating, not yet, but…

Maggie eyed them for a moment and smiled. She didn’t think it was going to take them very long to get there anymore. Julie had even made peace with Carrie, knowing it was likely only a matter of time before their fathers acted on their mutual feelings.

Now that all secrets were out of the way and literally all of them had sought psychological help to deal with the changes to their lives and world views, they were all beginning to heal.

The boys were figuring out the changed dynamics of dating each other, were settling into a polyamorous relationship more smoothly than Maggie imagined most people would’ve. Still, it hadn’t been entirely sunshine and roses, and Maggie remembered the early weeks, in which they were all desperate to avoid stepping on each other’s toes, were all still scared and excited and exploring the new boundaries in their changed relationship.

It was a beautiful thing to witness though, the love they had for each other.

Maggie imagined that if she’d been single, she’d have been quite jealous. As it was, she was happy for her brothers and she and Reggie had gotten the opportunity to really bond, to talk and get to know each other all over again.

Luke had gotten the chance to spend time with his mom and his dad before she passed away in her sleep, only a few weeks after Julie had helped them reunite. They’d laid her to rest in the plot right next to the boys’ own grave—Mitch had revealed they’d purchased both plots when they’d buried Luke and the others, and had always planned to make sure they’d be as close together as possible. Reggie had confided that Luke had cried for hours after that revelation.

As far as they knew, Emily hadn’t returned as a ghost, but the new Lieutenant of Los Angeles had apparently promised the boys to keep an eye on it.

Maggie wasn’t sure how she felt about it.

She was well aware it’d been her idea to reunite Emily and Luke, that it’d been her hunch that Luke was Emily’s unfinished business, but still there had been a tiny part of her that had hoped. A tiny little portion of her heart that had been desperately hopeful that maybe her goodbye to Emily didn’t have to be a goodbye forever. A tiny portion that had hoped her goodbye to Emily would’ve been a see-you-soon instead.

Still, a larger part of her heart was just relieved that Emily was at peace, and that she wasn’t in pain anymore. It’d been torture, having to see her deteriorate so much so quickly.

Maggie was relatively sure they’d all been relieved it’d happened so quickly. She couldn’t imagine having to watch the woman who had been more of a mother to her than her own suffer through years of the kind of illness and pain Emily had endured in her last months.

She was drawn from her thoughts by Julie’s voice, soft and small when she wasn’t singing, addressing the crowd with a sad smile. “This last song,” she explained quietly, “was one Luke wrote for his mother after a big fight. He ran away after, and they only reconciled the night before he was killed.” Her voice trembled and Maggie’s own eyes filled with tears. Luke and Reggie were pressed close together and Maggie couldn’t quite see his face from this angle, but she could imagine the heartbroken expression on his face anyway.

“We weren’t going to play it,” Julie continued, “The song is so intensely personal, we never thought about sharing it with the public, but…” She swallowed thickly, and it took Maggie a second to realize Julie was crying too. “We lost Emily a few weeks ago, and right until the end, she was one of our biggest fans. So, today, we want to perform the song Luke Patterson wrote for his mother, and remember her with you guys. This is ‘Unsaid Emily.’”

Maggie had never heard the song in full before.

It was beautiful and painful and so, so full of emotion.

She could barely stand to listen, but she could see the lightening of the weight that had been on Luke’s shoulders with every note he sang, could feel the love he felt for his mother in every word, could hear how much it helped him to share this part of himself with everyone, and she was suddenly so unbelievably proud of him that it was overwhelming.

Emily was gone and her absence felt like a huge gaping hole that would never be filled again, but they all had each other.

They were going to be okay.

She watched Alex sneak a glance in his own mother’s direction, eyes shiny and wide, watched Julie glance up towards the sky, and watched Reggie glance towards her.

It hurt right now, but they’d make it through.

They always did.

————

“I don't really care if people forget me. My legacy wasn't about me. It was about everything I could do for another.”

― Shannon L. Alder

15 MAY 2022

LUKE

Luke settled back into the couch cushions, more relaxed and—dare he say—happy than he had been in a very, very long time. The loss of his mom had broken him in something in him that he didn’t think would ever be healed—it still still ached, still felt as though her absence had created a void in his very soul, leaving an open wound with throbbing edges that did not feel as though it would ever heal, but he’d since remembered that he could breathe.

Each breath taken without his mother burned in his lungs still, but his boys were there, Julie and Ray and Flynn were there and he wasn’t alone. It didn’t take away the pain, didn’t heal the wound, but… but at least he could breathe.

The Spectral Therapist lady Dmitri had arranged for them to see had done wonders for his state of mind too, and had, eventually, helped him learn to tolerate, if not appreciate, the second chance at life that he had been given, even if it could no longer include his mom.

He’d not been able to, for a while, after his mom had passed away, hadn’t been able to see past all the things he had lost. It hadn’t been until Julie had come in, noisy and excited and quite literally slapped him up the head that he’d remembered that he’d gained things too, in this time, in this new existence.

When he’d finished sobbing on Julie’s shoulder, she had lectured him very sternly—but still so compassionately—and Luke hadn’t had a choice but to listen to her. Julie had reminded him that his mom had wanted him to be happy for as long as he was still here, that he had three boyfriends who adored him so much it was a little gross to see and that their music was being heard.

Luke had spent his entire life—his entire existence—seeking a connection with other people through his music, and it was finally working. Their fanbase, loyal and established in Los Angeles, was growing larger every day, and more and more people were learning their names, within and outside of the States, and much as he’d always dreamed about it, Luke found he had a hard time comprehending the idea of worldwide fame.

So he’d done as Julie advised him and threw himself back into their music, opened up to Alex and Reggie and Willie, actually talked to the therapy ghost lady and let himself feel surprise and no small amount of shame when he realized just how devastated Alex and Reggie had been after Luke’s mom’s death too.

He let himself lean on them and on Ray and Julie and the others.

He learned to ask for help, because he couldn’t do it on his own, and he needed to admit that too.

And it did get better.

He started writing again, with Julie and with Reggie, filled several notebooks with lyrics and notes and little sketches, and made an effort to be a good boyfriend—he planned dates with each of his boys and made sure to plan dates that included all four of them as well, because they’d found out early on it was important to them all to keep the amount of time they spent together a little balanced.

That’d become glaringly obvious when Alex and Reggie had fallen back into old habits very easily early on, slipping back into their dynamic of best friends who were also dating so easily it was as if they’d never broken up in the first place, and it’d left both Luke and Willie feeling left behind, like they were constantly missing part of the conversation.

Of course, Alex and Reggie hadn’t even been aware that they’d been excluding the other two—they hadn’t even considered it until Willie had called them out on it.

Luke sighed.

It was a work in progress—none of them had been in a polyamorous relationship before, and they only had the internet and Julie as guidance—but they were happy.

Despite everything, Luke was happy.

The band was doing so well that Maggie was trying to arrange a national tour during the summer months—pending approval from Ray, who was enthusiastic but also very cautious—and they were talking about a multi-album deal.

Their raging success was also why they had all descended on the living room floor of the Molina house—Bobby’s place was bigger, sure, but the Molina house was home for most of them, and Bobby didn’t fight them on it most of the time. Luke still couldn’t get used to calling him Trevor, and Reggie and Alex seemed to struggle with it too.

Bobby—Trevor—didn’t seem to mind, even if they were the only ones to call him Bobby.

Even Ray called him Trevor.

Luke didn’t think they were dating—not yet, but they had been circling each other for a long time, and it was clear to everyone with eyes that their feelings for each other ran a lot deeper than friendship. Luke had wondered on more than one occasion if he had been like that with Reggie before they’d gotten together.

He was sure Ray and Bobby would be good for each other though, if they ever got over themselves and actually tried. Of course, when Luke had brought it up with Bobby, after everything, after yelling and shouting and hugging and crying on each other, he’d bashfully tried to deny being interested at all, which was a lot more telling than admitting it would have been.

Bobby had never once in his life avoided questions about those he found himself attracted to.

It hadn’t happened often before they’d died, but it had happened, and Luke wasn’t imagining the way Bobby would gravitate towards Ray when he entered a room, or the way Ray’s cheeks flushed when he caught Bobby looking at him, or even the—far from—subtle long hugs when one of them was leaving.

Luke was abruptly torn from his thoughts when Flynn booed loudly from her spot on the floor, where she was curled up with Julie, fingers linked together. Alex and Reggie were both flushed very red, and Luke smirked a little—most of them took a lot of pleasure in teasing Alex and Reggie about how absolutely gone on each other they were, how they couldn’t really keep their hands to themselves, because it was so adorable it was nearly funny, especially to Luke and Willie, who knew the other two boys well enough to know they felt just as strongly about each of them.

He could probably concentrate to listen and figure out what they were talking about even as they jostled each other playfully, but he was warm and comfortable and he kind of wanted to melt.

Willie cackled when Alex shoved at him, dodging their boyfriend with a smirk as Reggie squawked, dislodged by the struggle, rolling off the couch and onto Julie and Flynn’s lap. “You’re so mean to me,” Reggie complained playfully, using Julie’s shoulder to hoist himself upright before bouncing towards Luke’s couch. “I’m going to hang out with Luke, he’s my favorite.”

Luke chuckled when Reggie collapsed half on top of him, a mess of gangly limbs and messy hair, grinning brightly at Luke. “They’re dumb,” he told Luke seriously, patting his hand on Luke’s cheek before tangling his fingers in the soft hair on the back of Luke’s neck. “Why are we dating them?”

Luke snorted a laugh and patted Reggie’s head when he dropped onto Luke’s shoulder. “Because we love them,” he replied. “And we came back as ghosts together. I’m pretty sure that means we’re stuck with them for a good long while.” He tilted his head down to look at Reggie, who seemed entirely content to use him as his newest pillow. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to it or didn’t like it—they’d always been very tactile with each other, even before they’d begun dating, and they almost always inevitably ended up in a cuddle pile when they tried to watch movies on the couch.

“You really okay?” he asked softly, deliberately ignoring the loud and mildly incomprehensible argument going on beside him as Flynn tried, in vain, to show a supremely uninterested Alex—who was much more preoccupied with staring at Willie—some dance moves she’d seen on TikTok.

Reggie blinked blankly at him for a couple of seconds before he broke into a grin and nodded. “Yeah, I’m good, Luke. Just missed you.” He pouted. “You were all far away and in your head again.”

Luke winced a little, because he couldn’t exactly deny that.

“Sorry,” he apologized, leaning in to nudge his nose against Reggie’s. “Good thoughts, I promise.” Reggie smiled happily and closed the distance between them, slotting their lips together. No matter how many times Luke had kissed Reggie at this point, he never ceased to be amazed by how well they fit together, how much a part of him wished he could just drown in Reggie, how in love with him Luke still was, and how easy it was to fall a little bit more in love with him every day.

They were torn from their little bubble, exchanging soft, slow kisses, by a pillow thrown in their direction, followed by Flynn’s outcry of, “Pay attention, you lovebirds! Interesting things going on here!” Before either of them could say anything, Julie slapped Flynn’s knee and Willie and Alex booed at her in perfect unison, and Luke’s cheeks were so hot, he was pretty sure he was on fire.

Sure, Alex and Reggie were easiest to tease, but that didn’t mean Luke was immune.

“Right,” Reggie nodded seriously, raising an eyebrow at Flynn in challenge. “Were you done trying and failing to do that new dance thingy?” Luke burst into laughter at the indignant look on Flynn’s face, and the rest of the group followed swiftly, Julie gasping, “Come on, Flynn, it’s funny,” between hysteric peals of laughter.

“Oh, please,” Flynn exclaimed heatedly, waving her arms towards the group vaguely. “I’d like to see you knuckleheads try to do it!”

“I’ll take that bet!” Willie shouted immediately, springing up from the sofa probably a little too energetically, narrowly avoiding tripping over Julie as he leaped forward. Alex, who’d been leaning against their boyfriend, had tipped sideways when Willie jumped up, and was now glaring grumpily at him. Luke watched, amused, as Willie tumbled his way to the little space Flynn had cleared in front of the television. Alex facepalmed and Julie giggled, watching as Willie copied the moves Flynn had been trying to show them far more easily and smoothly than she had managed.

Alex, on the couch, was staring at Willie’s swaying hips with dark eyes, and Luke snorted a laugh.

“Like this, right?” Willie grinned smugly, raising both eyebrows at Flynn, who was very clearly trying not to pout at him for picking up on the move far more easily than she had.

“You’ve spent the past thirty years dancing at the Club,” she exclaimed heatedly. “This isn’t a fair competition.” She turned to Julie. “I can dance really well too, right babe?”

Julie nodded, lips obviously pressed together to avoid laughing. “Yes, of course.”

Flynn obviously noticed her barely repressed mirth too, because she spun around, facing Willie and demanded, “Show me again! How do you—”

Reggie huffed a laugh and sagged back against Luke a little, for all the world looking like he was close to falling asleep, but Luke knew he was really just settling into a prime position for people-watching. In this case, of course, that meant watching as their friends and significant others made idiots of themselves trying to master a couple of dance moves invented by twelve year-olds for social media.

Luke grinned along with Reggie when Willie recruited Alex—though Luke had to admit the latter looked more reluctant than excited to aid Willie and Flynn in their quest.

The others seemed to have lost interest in the dancers—Julie had returned to her conversation with her brother—and Ray and Bobby were quietly talking by the entrance to the kitchen, heads bent close together as they talked.

A warm, contented feeling settled in the center of Luke’s chest as he watched them—his friends, his family—spreading out and warming his entire being, radiating right down to the tips of his fingers, and he felt lighter than he could ever recall having felt before. It was a comforting but utterly peculiar feeling, like he was filled with helium, fit to float away if not held down by—by—

His gaze traveled to Julie of its own accord, lips parting in surprise.

He blinked, hard, and turned to Reggie, who was already looking at him with a soft, vulnerable expression. “Finally got there too, huh?” He said softly, carding his fingers through Luke’s hair again in a soothing gesture.

The tension that had knotted his shoulders loosened and Luke leaned back into Reggie’s touch just a little before he asked, “You too? Does—it’s just—”

Reggie nodded. “It’s just Julie now.”

Luke swallowed thickly. “I can feel it,” he whispered, curling a little closer to Reggie. “It’s just her—I feel… I feel light. Like I could just float away, but Julie’s still holding me here.”

Reggie nodded, trailing his fingers up and down Luke’s arm soothingly as he admitted, “I feel it too. I’ve felt it for a while. Alex too. Willie thinks the only reason he’s still here is us.” Luke swallowed thickly again and looked over to Alex and Willie, who had given up on the Tik Tok dance entirely and were just swaying together now, lips barely moving in a muted conversation.

“I’m not ready,” he admitted quietly, tears burning in his eyes.

Reggie pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’m not either. None of us are. We’ve got time—we’ve still got so much planned for the band. We have three more albums to go, and a national tour and then a world tour—we’re going to make sure Julie is set for life before it’s time for us to go.”

Luke nodded jerkily.

They had discussed this before—it wasn’t like they were unprepared. They’d learned a lot from the Spectral Police in terms of their afterlife, and had learned a great deal about finishing unfinished business. It wouldn’t catch them unawares entirely, but it would likely still be quite sudden, and once the process had begun, it was impossible to reverse its effects.

Luke leaned his forehead against Reggie’s temple. “I love you,” he whispered. “I don’t want to go without you when it’s time. Or Alex or Willie.”

Reggie pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You’re not going anywhere without us, Luke. We’re ride or die, remember? I followed you once, I’ll do it again. You’re never getting rid of us ever again.” Luke laughed a wet little laugh and hid his face against the crook of Reggie’s neck.

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” he breathed.

“No,” Reggie admitted. “No, it doesn’t.”

And the warm, comforting feeling filled Luke up again, warming him down to the tips of his toes. This time, he basked in it, enjoyed the certainty of his connection with Julie, knowing it was strong enough to keep him here for a while longer, to give him time to enjoy a life that had been stolen from him twenty-seven years ago.

It wasn’t what he’d wanted when he died, wasn’t the future he’d envisioned, but he had Alex and Reggie and Willie, and he had Julie and Ray and the band and it was enough.

He was content. He was happy.

It was enough.

———————

“Don’t adventures ever have an end? I suppose not.

Someone else always has to carry on the story.”

– Bilbo Baggins

FIN.

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End notes:

That's it. That's all she wrote.

Let me know what you thought!

Love Annaelle

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Unfinished Business:

(1) (2) (3)

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

A Song Only You Can Hear

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20)

Or read it HERE (BaMBaT), HERE (UB) OR HERE(ASoYCH) on AO3 :D

#asoych #a song only you can hear #jatp #Lisa writes #my writing #ot4 #jatp fanfic #reggiealexlukewillie #peterpatter #willex #willuke #williereggie #alexreggie

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cuthian · 2 years

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Chapters: 21/21 Fandom: Julie and The Phantoms (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Flynn/Julie Molina, Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex Mercer & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer/Reggie Peters (Past Relationship), Alex Mercer/Luke Patterson (Past Relationship), Maggie Peters (OFC)/T'Nia Danvers (OFC), Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters/Alex Mercer/Willie Characters: Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex Mercer (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina, Maggie Peters (OFC), Emily Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), T'Nia Danvers (OFC), Regina Danvers-Peters (OFC), Ray Molina, Carlos Molina Additional Tags: Sequel, Post-Canon, Reggie Has a Little Sister, Bobby is a shit, But He's a Human Shit, Perhaps There is Hope After All, Caleb's a dick, Alex and Reggie Figure Themselves out, Luke and Reggie Are Cuties In Love, Idiots in Love, Julie and the Himbos, Boys In Love, Pansexual Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Bisexual Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Gay Alex Mercer (Julie and The Phantoms), Lesbian Flynn (Julie and The Phantoms), Bisexual Julie Molina, Established Reggie/Luke, Established Willie/Alex, Established Julie/Flynn, Past Alex/Reggie, Canonical Character Death, Ghosts, Angst, idiots to lovers, Polyamory Negotiations, they're trying but they have one collective brain cell, Aged-Up Character(s) Series: Part 3 of An Anchor, A Port in a Storm Summary:

“You Don’t Love Someone For Their Looks, Or Their Clothes, Or For Their Fancy Car, But Because They Sing a Song Only You can Hear.” —Oscar Wilde

“I know,” Alex sighed, “that I said the pining was horrible, but this—" he gestured towards Reggie, on the couch, and Luke, who was still staring at them from the floor, making no attempt to put his shirt or pants back on, “—this is worse, guys.”

--The boys try to navigate the afterlife, interpersonal relationships and family and, while doing so, try to discover their unfinished business.

RUKE/WILLEX (at first)/JULYNN WILLIE/ALEX/LUKE/REGGIE

#asoych #julie and the phantoms #lisa writes #my writing #ot4 #alexlukereggiewillie #Lalex #ruke #ralex #willlex #willuke #williereggie

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cuthian · 3 years

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A Song Only You Can Hear

Sooooo, for those of your that are still around, I promise I am working on the next few chapters! 💩💩

It's been really hard, for some reason, and I couldn't quite get the words out correctly, but I'm about 3k words into chapter eighteen, and I hope to get it up soon!😁😁😁

Have a sneak peek, as a reward for waiting so patiently. 😇

Also a massive thank you to the JatP discord server, I love all of you awesome nerds 💕 And to @nuandia, who's been listening to far more of my rambling than anyone should ever have to. You're awesome, babe!

Alex huffed, but he still melted when Reggie leaned down to kiss him, still arched up into Reggie, managing to knock Reggie off-balance enough to get one hand free so he could fit it around the back of Reggie’s neck, making sure Reggie couldn’t pull away from the kiss—not, Luke suspected, that Reggie wanted to at all.

He shifted closer, getting one hand in Alex’s hair and another on Reggie’s waist, leaning up onto his knees so he could press a series of kisses up the side of Reggie’s neck and cheek. Reggie gasped and pulled back, staring wide-eyed at Luke as Alex turned to glare at him for interrupting the kiss.

Luke grinned. “What?” He chuckled, “I didn’t say you had to stop. In fact,” he leaned in close and smacked a hard kiss to Alex’s lips and Reggie’s in quick succession, “Please, don’t stop on my account.”

“Though I’m inclined to agree,” a voice rang out from behind them. “I’m afraid we just don’t have the time.”

#asoych #a song only you can hear #jatp #jatp fanfiction #reggielukealexwillie #ot4 #ruke #willex #Alexreggie #my writing #Lisa writes

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cuthian · 2 years

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Final word count for chapter twenty… get ready, babes, it’s off to the beta and then all yours!

Can’t believe I finished the final chapter and conclusion to this series 😅

#asoych #my writing #lisa writes #julie and the phantoms #writing #jatp #a song only you can hear #fanfic

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cuthian · 3 years

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Oh, @juuls you know me too well 😏 Angst ahead for those of you reading A Song Only You Can Hear ☺️

#sorry not really sorry #jatp fanfic #lisa writes #my writing #asoych #peterpatter #ruke #willex #ot4 #williealexlukereggie

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cuthian · 3 years

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Right. So I’m about 4.2k into chapter thirteen of A Song Only You Can Hear!

Not too long a wait, guys, I promise! Have a snippet in the meantime 😉😘

#my writing #lisa writes #julie and the phantoms #asoych #a song only you can hear #peterpatter #alexreggie #willex #Willuke #ot4

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cuthian · 3 years

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A Song Only You Can Hear Chapter Three

Hi guys!

Next chapter, unbeta'd so far. Any mistakes are mine.

This is the last chapter I had a plan for, and since I still have one more exam, that unfortunately takes precedence before I can get back to planning and writing.

I'll try to get things out soon though!

Thanks for all the lovely feedback, please feed me more <3

Love Annaelle

PS Thanks to all my lovelies on the Discord server for helping me work through this chapter. You know who you are.

THREE

“I stood still, vision blurring, and in that moment, I heard my heart break. It was a small, clean sound, like the snapping of a flower's stem.”

—Diana Galbadon

18 DECEMBER 2020 (3:56 p.m.) LUKE

Luke had written his bandmates countless songs over the years.

He’d written Alex and Reggie cute little bobs when they’d been kids, with easy beats and clumsy lyrics, had written Alex several love songs while they’d dated and dozens of apologies after they’d broken up. He’d written Reggie ballads and love songs, had written him country songs because he knew that Reggie loved those, had written down everything he didn’t know how to say into Crooked Teeth and dozens of unnamed songs, hidden in the back of his songbook.

Listen closely to the songs I play because the lyrics speak the words I fail to say.

Luke couldn’t remember where he’d heard that line, but it described his own thoughts and process so well it stuck with him. It helped him deal with how he saw the world, helped him figure himself out when he got into arguments with his mom, when how he felt about Reggie threatened to entirely overwhelm him—

When the thoughts in his head were entirely too loud.

Since they’d died, since they’d met Julie, since Luke had told Reggie how he felt about him, he hadn’t been as overwhelmed by his own thoughts so much. He hadn’t felt anything akin to that overwhelming storm of emotions since their deaths, but Reggie’s words now fed into that maelstrom mercilessly and Luke felt like he was going to be sick.

Since the day Luke had found out that Reggie and Alex had had a semi-serious relationship when they’d been alive, he’d been a little afraid of what that meant for his own relationship with Reggie.

Not because he didn’t trust them—quite the contrary.

He’d readily believed his friends when they’d assured him that what they’d had was over, of course, and when Reggie had confessed that he was in love with Luke too, Luke had been so stupidly happy that he hadn’t given Reggie and Alex’s previous relationship a second thought.

For a while, it’d even stayed that way.

Alex and Reggie were more open about their past, joked and laughed about it, and while Luke was fine with it, the thought of his current boyfriend and his ex-boyfriend together flustered him more than he liked to admit to anyone—even himself.

It was just a lot.

He’d been very much into Alex, at one point, and while Luke currently had very little desire to find out of Alex still kissed the same way he did when they’d been fifteen, he wasn’t blind either. Alex was pretty damn hot, and Luke didn’t blame Reggie for having seen that at all. And Reggie… Luke was obviously in love with Reggie and very much into everything about the other boy, and Luke…

Luke was not jealous of Alex and Reggie’s past relationship.

…a little too into the aesthetic idea of the two of them together?

Probably.

But he wasn’t jealous.

After all, Luke had dated Alex too, at one point, and it would very hypocritical of him to make an issue out of it while still expecting Reggie to be okay with Luke’s own past relationship with Alex.

He’d not been suspicious about them, their relationship or their continued close friendship at all.

Maybe he should’ve been.

He sat down heavily on the beach, on the sand, leaning his elbows on his knees and digging his hands in his hair, blinking hard at the sand. “Reggie,” he said slowly, his voice hoarse and shaking lightly. “Would you please sit down and talk to me?” He looked up to his boyfriend, who was pacing restlessly in front of him, still pale and shaky and utterly apologetic, and immediately looked back down.

He couldn’t—he couldn’t quite bring himself to look at Reggie without wanting to scream and he had promised himself—and Alex, but he couldn’t quite manage thinking of his friend without wanting to scream either—a long time ago that he wouldn’t ever yell at Reggie if he could help it and he wasn’t going to start now.

However justified he might be.

Reggie let out a shuddering breath and paced one more round before he plopped down in the sand in front of Luke, the tips of his boots nudging lightly against the nose of Luke’s worn sneakers.

“Okay,” Luke exhaled. “Okay. What happened?”

He steeled himself before looking up at Reggie, who was looking at him with an expression that bordered between desperate and guilty. “I kissed Alex,” Reggie whispered, and the words hit Luke just as hard as they had the first time, knocking the breath from his lungs and squeezing tightly, painfully, around his heart, and more than upset to hear the words again, he was sad because his best friend and his boyfriend had kissed behind his back and he was angry because something was clearly happening between Reggie and Alex and he’d been left out again and he wanted to know why.

“I heard you the first time,” Luke hissed through gritted teeth. “Why would you—”

“I don’t know,” Reggie exclaimed, eyes wide and filled with tears, “I don’t know, Luke, but I swear—”

“Reginald,” Luke interrupted, his voice trembling with barely suppressed anger—because he was, he was angry that his boyfriend had seen fit to appear on their first date just to tell Luke he’d kissed their best friend, his ex-boyfriend. “Reggie. Baby. I’m trying very hard not to be mad at you and to let you explain, but you’re gonna have to do better than ‘I don’t fucking know’.”

Reggie looked taken aback by his harsh tone and Luke felt a little bad for raising his voice, but he deserved answers. Reggie looked like he was on the verge of bursting into tears but he looked determined too, like he was just as set on providing answers as Luke was to find them.

“I’m not trying to weasel out of anything,” Reggie said, his voice trembling ever so slightly. Luke watched as he pulled the sleeves of his flannel down over his hands, twisting the fabric tightly around his fingers. “I—when we—it’s just… back when we broke up, Alex never really told me why. All he ever said was that he didn’t think it was working anymore, and I—”

He broke off, sucked his lower lip between his teeth, biting down so harshly Luke could see little beads of blood well up—he hadn’t thought they could bleed anymore—and shook his head.

“Reg,” Luke breathed, reaching out before he could stop himself, tugging Reggie lip out from between his teeth gently. Reggie exhaled shakily, leaning into Luke’s touch just a little, eyes fluttering shut for a heartbeat before he leaned back and continued talking.

“I loved him,” he said frankly, honestly, “A lot. And I was so ready to tell all of you about us. But we’d promised, you know, when we first got together, that we’d just tell each other when it wasn’t working anymore, because we never wanted to risk our friendship, and he did, so I did my best to get over it, and I wrote… I wrote a lot of songs.”

“Reg—” Luke whispered quietly, reaching out for Reggie’s hand, because he was still upset but he couldn’t stand to not be touching Reggie anymore.

Reggie offered him a shaky, apologetic smile and twined their fingers together. “Today I was—I was going through my songbook, you know, and I did in Julie’s room, because I didn’t… I wanted to look by myself, and I found… I found a couple of the songs I wrote after… after we broke up.” He breathed in shakily and added, “I hadn’t really looked at them since I wrote them, but now… it didn’t seem so daunting anymore, so I played them.”

Luke exhaled, suddenly flush with understanding. “And Alex heard you.”

“Yeah,” Reggie whispered faintly, before he inhaled sharply and continued, “Alex—Alex walked in, and he heard the song and we… argued, I guess, and we—we talked, I talked and Al—Alex said—”

“Reg, baby,” the endearment fell from his lips before he could stop himself, “You’re rambling. You’re not—you’re not making sense.”

Reggie nodded sharply and closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths. “We argued. And talked,” he repeated. “And Alex told me he broke up with me because he figured out you were in love with me too.”

Luke… Luke didn’t know what to say to that.

He’d never, for a single moment, even considered that a possibility. “He did what?” He breathed, shocked.

“Yeah,” Reggie choked, shaking his head, and Luke could feel the way his fingers trembled between his own. “Yeah, he… he said that—that I would never have picked him if I knew you were an option, and I hate that he took that choice away from me, because I loved him.” He looked back up at Luke with teary eyes and admitted, “I love you, so much, Luke, but I think I loved him first, before I even knew I did. But then he broke up with me and I—I put it out of my mind.”

And for the first time since Reggie appeared in front of him tonight, Luke felt like he… he understood what had happened between his two best friends—between his boyfriend and his ex-boyfriend. “And Alex telling you everything brought all of that back,” he sighed. “Everything you felt back then.”

Reggie’s lower lip trembled as he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah. And I guess I—I kissed him because I wanted to know—I needed to know—”

“If you still love him,” Luke finished.

Reggie gave him a pained, guilty look. “Yes. And no. I—I’m always going to love Alex. He’s Alex. I don’t know how to not love him. But it’s… it’s different now. It’s not like that anymore, not… Not like you. You’re… you’re it, Luke. You’re the Jim to my Freddy. Luke to my Han. I fucking adore you. And I’m so, so sorry for doing this, for…” Reggie shook his head, blinking away tears. “… I’m sorry for hurting you. I never meant to.”

Luke swallowed thickly and looked away.

“I know,” he muttered. “I know, Reg. I just… I think that before you and I can talk about this any further, you and Alex need to. There’s… there’s clearly a lot of things unsaid between the two of you, and you need to talk about that. Seriously. Hash everything out.” He inhaled deeply and looked up, trying to ignore the way his own eyes burned too, and whispered, “I’m giving you a carte blanche for that. To do whatever you have to, just… figure yourselves out. And then I think all of us—you, me, Alex, Willie… we need to talk about it too.”

He squeezed his fingers around Reggie’s. “I think we’ve been putting this off way too long already.”

“Luke…”

Luke huffed a little in surprise when Reggie threw himself forward into Luke’s arms, ducking to bury his face against Luke’s neck, slipping his arms around his torso to hug him close. “I love you so, so much,” Reggie muttered. “And I’m sorry.”

Luke let himself have this, have this tight, warm hug, for a couple of seconds before he pushed Reggie back a little so he could look at him. “I love you too, Reg, you know that.” Reggie pouted at him, but he leaned into Luke’s touch when he tracked his fingers through Reggie’s hair nonetheless.

“I’m hurt,” Luke told him quietly, his eyes burning with tears. “But I love you. And I love Alex. I want you both to be okay.” He leaned in to lean his forehead against Reggie’s, brushing the tips of their noses together, breathing him in, feeling him while he could.

“Thank you,” Reggie breathed, eyes shut and fingers tight on Luke’s sides, and God help him, but Luke was pretty sure he’d let Reggie shatter his heart into a million little pieces as long as it made Reggie happy, as long as it made him smile.

He hugged his arms tighter around his boyfriend and tucked his face against Reggie’s shoulder.

They’d figure this out.

--------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (4:29 p.m.) JULIE

“Julie,” Flynn told her seriously, holding Julie’s face in her hands so she couldn’t look away, “sweetie. They’re never going to give us openly queer characters in major Hollywood productions. Third Wonder Woman movie or not, they’re just going to keep focusing on her romance with Steve.” She pouted severely, and Julie knew she was trying to convey just how much agony the thought caused her, but all the expression really did was make Julie want to kiss her ridiculous girlfriend.

“Flynn,” she chuckled, “I know they’ve been shitty about LGBT+ characters in the past, but it’s been getting better! There’s more and more openly queer characters in books and television shows every day, it’s only a matter of time before they’ll be on the big screen too.”

Flynn grumbled at her and dropped her hands, but she still smiled and kissed back when Julie leaned in to press their lips together. “You’re too hopeful for this world,” Flynn groused as she settled back against the large pillow she’d propped up against the armrest of the couch. “They’re going to make her straight, you’ll see. She had a relationship with a guy, they’re never coming back from that.”

“Excuse you,” Julie gaped, tossing a smaller pillow at Flynn in indignation. “Bisexuality is a thing!”

“I grew up with you,” Flynn snorted, throwing her pillow back. “I’m dating you. How I could forget?”

She stuck out her tongue and Julie really had no choice but to retaliate, because they may be dating and in love and Julie was very much invested in making sure Flynn remained attracted to her, but they’d also known each other since they were three.

They were allowed to weird and childish to each other. It was part of the fun.

Of course, it was just as much part of the fun when Flynn crawled across the length of the couch and wedged herself between the back of the couch and Julie, tangling their fingers together as she lay her head on Julie’s shoulder. “We should do this more often,” Flynn said quietly after a couple of seconds, sliding closer still, her knee knocking against Julie’s as she shifted.

“Do what more often?” Julie frowned, glancing from the television, playing a random Golden Girls episode, to her girlfriend.

“This,” Flynn repeated, gesturing lazily at their entwined limbs. “Cuddle, talk, have a date night with just the two of us. Without the guys. They’re always around,” she pouted, trailing her fingers up and down Julie’s arm, sending a pleasant shiver down the length of Julie’s spine. When she abruptly stopped, fingers hovering just over Julie’s elbow, it took Julie a second to stop herself from whining out loud, and an incredulous glance towards Flynn, who was squinting suspiciously at the rest of the room.

“They’re not here now, are they?” Flynn demanded.

Julie grinned and pushed one of Flynn’s braids behind her ear. “No,” she said. “I would’ve told you if they were. I think Reggie’s up in my room—he wanted some privacy to look through his songs before his date with Luke, and Alex had a date with Willie, I think.”

“What about Luke?” Flynn asked, settling back against Julie’s shoulder, turning her head so that her lips grazed against Julie’s throat.

“I don’t know,” Julie exhaled. “Probably visiting his parents or pacing the pier until it’s time for his date with Reggie. He was really nervous about it.” She chuckled at the memory of Luke poofing into her room, wide-eyed and panicked, demanding she tell him how to behave on a date with his best friend.

“Oh,” Flynn hummed, rolling her eyes a little as she resumed the soft, rhythmic strokes of her fingers on Julie’s arm. “Poor guy. Imagine not knowing how to talk to your best friend while you’re on a date.” She fell silent for a second and then asked, “I thought they’d been dating since we found Maggie? How have they managed to avoid going on a date for three months?”

Julie snorted a laugh. “Apparently they’ve been too busy doing other things to actually go on a date.”

Flynn wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “Boys.”

“You brought them up,” Julie laughed, giggling when Flynn grumped and then tugged her closer for a soft, lazy, chaste kiss—her dad and Carlos were in the other room, after all. Julie hummed contently into the kiss and draped her arms around Flynn, pressing more firmly into their embrace. “I did miss this,” she breathed against Flynn’s lips, barely allowing herself the luxury of pulling away to actually saythe words. “Let’s not go so long without spending time alone together again.”

Flynn giggled in response and tangled her fingers in Julie’s hair. “Agreed,” she replied breathily, before leaning back in and taking Julie’s lips in a breathtaking kiss again.

Julie sank into it, relishing in the fact she didn’t have to worry about her dad and little brother walking in and interrupting them. Her parents had always been very respectful of her relationship with Flynn, had always taken it seriously and had always afforded them a level of trust that most teenagers were not given so easily.

She grinned against Flynn’s lips, and when the kiss broke, she breathed in deeply, giggling when Flynn nudged their noses together playfully. “We should go out too,” Flynn said. “On an actual date. We haven’t done that in forever.”

Julie hummed. “True. We could go see a movie, get sushi, people watch for a while, rate their outfits.”

Flynn nodded and leaned in to peck her lips again, tightening her fingers in Julie’s hair a little as they kissed. “Sounds perfect,” Flynn whispered.

Julie was just leaning in to kiss Flynn again when she heard the soft, subtle poof of a ghost appearing in the room and looked up, ready to tell whichever of the boys interrupted them off, and then froze when she realized it was Willie. Willie never came into the house without Alex or Reggie or Luke, and he certainly never poofed in unannounced.

He looked… he looked a little spooked, honestly, eyes wide and confused and lips parted in what looked like shock, and a thrill of alarm ran down Julie’s spine immediately. “Willie?” she said, sitting up and pushing Flynn off softly. “Are you okay?”

Flynn made a concerned sound and Julie flashed her a quick, hopefully reassuring, smile before turning back to Willie, who had now turned his wide, surprised eyes on her. “Shoot, I’m sorry,” Willie blurted, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to poof in here, my aim—my aim must’ve been off. I was—I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Julie said soothingly, because Willie seemed extremely wired and it was very unlike him. “Were you looking for Alex?”

Willie blinked rapidly a couple of times and Julie noticed him shoot a nervous glance up to the ceiling. “Uh,” he said hoarsely, “Yeah. Yes, I—I think he and Reggie are busy talking though, and I—I didn’t want to interrupt, to bother them, so I… uh—I’ll just… I’ll come back later.”

“Alex is up there with Reggie?” Julie frowned, glancing towards the ceiling too. “I thought he was with you. Didn’t you guys have a date planned?”

Willie exhaled shakily. “Uh, yeah, I was late, I was late, I was at the Club and I heard—” he broke off, and his expression flitted through several emotions so fast that Julie couldn’t even make out half of them before he settled on worried. “Shit, I—I heard something, and I need to tell the guys, I can’t—shit, I can’t let this wait.”

“Uh,” Julie frowned. “Okay. How about I go up and get Reggie and Alex, and you poof down to the studio. Luke’s probably there, and I’ll come down with the other two, and you can tell us what you overheard, okay?”

Willie nodded shakily and smiled, “Okay. Thanks, Julie.” He poofed out before she could say anything else, and she turned to Flynn with a slight grimace.

Flynn smiled tightly. “Ghost emergency?”

“Yeah,” Julie sighed. “I’m sorry. Willie seemed really shook up, I don’t think it’s a good idea to ask him to postpone whatever this talk is.”

Flynn raised a hand and stroked her cheek gently, offering a kind smile. “It’s fine. Do what you have to.”

Julie exhaled in relief and leaned in to press a brief kiss to Flynn’s lips before getting to her feet and hurrying up to her bedroom to find two of her wayward ghosts. She wasn’t sure what was going on, why Willie was so shook up—whether it was Alex and Reggie’s conversation or whatever he’d overheard at the Ghost Club—but she was going to find out.

----------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (4:31 p.m.) ALEX

Alex sat frozen on the edge of Julie’s bed, staring at the far wall in a daze.

He could still feel the imprint of Reggie’s lips on his, could still taste that damn chapstick Reggie used to wear when they were alive because his lips were perpetually dry and split and the most prominent thought in his head was that Reggie still kissed the same way he had when they were alive and—and—

He just kissed his ex-boyfriend.

Or… got kissed by his ex-boyfriend. Who was also his best friend’s boyfriend.

Reggie had written him songs, had wanted to tell everyone about their relationship, had told Alex that he’d loved him and Alex—Alex would’ve kissed him if Reggie hadn’t moved first.

What the hell was he supposed to do with that?

Reggie—Reggie had a boyfriend, who was Alex’s best friend, for God’s sake. Reggie loved Luke and Alex knew that he did. Alex had a boyfriend—a boyfriend he loved, and Christ, how was he supposed to tell Willie about this? How the hell was he going to explain all of this? He’d promised Willie there wasn’t anything to worry about because he and Reggie had been broken up for months even before they’d died.

God, what if Willie hated him for this? For not recognizing that he’d broken up with Reggie for the wrong reasons, for not recognizing that he should’ve talked to Reggie about this ages ago, before Luke and Willie were also involved, before he broke Reggie’s heart all over again—

Crap, what the hell was he supposed to do now?

The thought of trying to talk to Willie or Reggie or Luke left him breathless in a way he hadn’t been since he’d died, since death had cured him of asthma or anxiety-induced panic attacks, and his head was spinning. His breath was wheezing in his lungs even as he tried to remember the counting system he’d used when this happened when he was alive, and his breathing was way too fast and he was getting lightheaded and he didn’t know if ghosts could faint but he had a vague idea he was about to find out.

“Alex?”

His head snapped up and suddenly Luke and Reggie were standing in front of him and that—that would just make things worse, wouldn’t it? He was almost afraid to look at Luke, to see the anger and hurt on his best friend’s face, hurt that Alex caused—

“Hey, hey, come on, man,” someone was kneeling in front of him, but his vision was a little blurry and he still wasn’t breathing quite right. “’Lex, listen to me,” and that was Reggie for sure, “I’m going to count, and you’re going to match your breath to it, okay? Just like we used to when this happened before.” He could feel Reggie’s hand on his chest and Luke leaning against his side, warm and solid and soothing in a way Alex didn’t deserve.

“One,” Reggie started, voice calm and soothing, “Two, three, four—”

Alex’s breath slowed more easily than it ever had when they were alive, and he didn’t know if it was because he was dead or because both Reggie and Luke were here and their presence was comforting even with how messy things were between the three of them.

Before long, the world stopped spinning around him and he felt a lot less like he was going to choke on thin air—if he even could anymore.

He wasn’t sure how long they sat like that, Reggie kneeling in front of him and counting quietly under his breath, hand pressed to Alex’s chest, and Luke sitting next to him, their shoulders pressed together and Luke’s fingers curled around his wrist, thumb rubbing soothingly over the inside of his wrist like he’d done hundreds of times when they’d been alive.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, words slipping from him before he could think about them. “Luke, I—”

Luke didn’t say anything for a moment, and Alex focused on Reggie, who looked like he’d been crying the entire time he’d been gone. Luke exhaled shakily, tightening his fingers around Alex’s wrist before he said, “I’m not… I’m not exactly happy with either of you right now, but… but I do understand that you need to figure this out.”

Before Alex could even begin to process what that meant, the door flung open and Julie spilled inside, looking a little frazzled. “Good,” she exclaimed, “You’re all here. Come on, we have to go to the studio.”

“Jules,” Luke said quietly, “We’re kind of in the middle of something.”

“It’ll have to wait,” Julie shrugged. “Willie’s waiting for us in the studio. Apparently he overheard something at the Ghost Club and came here to tell you right away.” She bit her lower lip and added, “He looked very frazzled, Alex. We should see what’s going on.”

Alex exchanged a glance with Luke and Reggie and then nodded.

This thing between them had waited a year—or twenty-six—already.

It would keep a few hours more.

-----------------

READ IT HERE:

Start from the beginning:

Unfinished Business:

(1) (2) (3)

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

A Song Only You Can Hear

(1) (2) (3)

Or read it HERE (BaMBaT), HERE (UB) OR HERE (ASoYCH) on AO3 :D

#A Song Only You Can Hear #ASOYCH #BamBat sequel #bambat #ruke #peterpatter #willex #Luke/reggie #Alex/reggie (past)#julie and the himbos #julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #Lisa writes #my writing

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cuthian · 3 years

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So I know it's been a while, but for those of you that are reading A Song Only You Can Hear, chapter fifteen is finished and in beta'ing, so will be updated soon!

In the meantime, have a sneak peek at literally the angstiest chapter of the entire series:

Reggie vaguely remembered finding himself back in the dark, shadowy room with the unforgiving wooden chair with the short, scary man looming over him, glaring down at him with dark eyes, remembered the man’s lips moving and his voice being louder than thunder and softer than the softest whisper at the same time, hitting Reggie with the weight of a sledgehammer to the chest and— —and he still couldn’t breathe.

READ THE FULL STORY HERE:

Start from the beginning:

Unfinished Business:

(1) (2) (3)

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

A Song Only You Can Hear

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14)

Or read it HERE (BaMBaT), HERE (UB) OR HERE (ASoYCH) on AO3 :D

#asoych #Lisa writes #my writing #a song only you can hear #ruke #willex #alexreggie #willuke #williereggie #lalex #jatp #ot4 #Julie and the phantims #sneak peek

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cuthian · 3 years

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A Song Only You Can Hear Chapter Four

Hey everyone!

Sorry for the wait. I had exams and then I had to figure out my plot line. Please check the updated tags; and feel free to blame PJO_Connoisseur for all of it ;)

A nice long chapter with A LOT of angst. Please prepare.

Some of you will need tissues.

Thanks for reading!

Love Annaelle

P.S. I was too impatient to wait for this to be beta'd completely, so thanks to Juulna for checking grammar and such, and a future thank you to PJO_Connoisseur for when they check it for whether or not everyone is in character.

FOUR

“Maybe a good relationship is just [several] idiots who don’t know a damn thing except the fact that they’re willing to figure it out together.” — Unknown author

18 DECEMBER 2020 (4:36 p.m.) WILLIE

Willie trailed shaking fingers across the cymbals on Alex’s drums and swallowed thickly. He’d been somewhat relieved to find that Luke wasn’t in the studio when he got here, because it gave him the precious few minutes he needed to collect himself, to get his thoughts in order before he’d have to see Alex again.

He didn’t know what he’d poofed in on earlier, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know either.

He knew that Alex and Reggie had dated, but he’d thought it long over. The way Alex had talked about it made it sound like it hadn’t been that serious to begin with, but whatever had happened up in the house today, it’d looked far from casual before Willie had poofed out.

He didn’t think Alex and Reggie had even noticed him.

Willie dropped his hand to his side and sighed. He didn’t want to be suspicious about this, didn’t want to be the kind of boyfriend that got weird around his boyfriend’s ex just because they were still close, because he knew how much Reggie meant to Alex, knew how much Luke meant to Alex and if he was going to feel weird about Reggie, he’d probably start feeling weird about Luke too, and Willie wasn’t that guy.

He really wasn’t.

He trusted Alex and he liked Reggie and Luke both, and he’d never even considered being worried about it before—he’d even joked about it with Reggie before.

And yet… he couldn’t get the image of his boyfriend sitting pressed close to Reggie, one of Reggie’s hands between both of his and their heads bent close together, out of his mind. It’d looked intimate as hell, and even if he hadn’t quite been able to make out their words, he’d still been very reluctant to stick around—hadn’t really wanted to see the way Alex would react when he saw him.

He didn’t want to see the guilty look Alex would undoubtedly have shot his way because it would mean that Willie was right and there wassomething Alex should feel guilty for.

Right now, all he’d seen was his boyfriend having a rather intimate discussion with his best friend.

Right now, that’s all it was.

God. Willie hoped that was all it was.

They had bigger things to worry about. If what he’d overheard at the Ghost Club was even remotely true, Caleb had been after the boys for far longer than any of them had known.

He wasn’t sure what that meant, wasn’t sure why, but he knew it couldn’t wait.

When the door opened and Julie filed in, followed closely by all three of the boys—and he wasn’t sure what to make of that, what to think of Luke having been in the house too, potentially with Alex and Reggie—Willie exhaled in a rush, running trembling hands through his hair before trying to smile at Alex, who was looking at him wide-eyed.

“Hey hot dog,” he tried, but his smile must’ve looked pained because Alex’s expression changed from confused to worried in a heartbeat and before Willie could stop him he was rushing forward, hands soft and gentle when he pressed them to Willie’s cheeks, like nothing was different, like Willie hadn’t seen him with Reggie earlier, like… like everything was the same it’d been yesterday.

“I’m fine,” he told Alex, leaning back enough so that Alex’s hands slipped from his cheeks. “I overheard something at the Club, I—I need you guys to sit down, okay?”

Alex blinked at him with wide, blue eyes, but he backed up obediently, settling on the couch beside Luke, who was pressed close to Reggie, holding Reggie’s hand in a white-knuckled grip and… shit, Willie really didn’t know what was going on anymore.

“So?” Luke said, looking up at Willie defiantly. “What was so urgent?”

Willie blinked a little, taken aback by the harsh tone, but nodded anyway. “I overheard Caleb talking to someone—I don’t know who, I didn’t recognize their voice, but…” he swallowed thickly and wrung his hands together. “They were talking about killing someone. Killing them and making sure they came back as a ghost with… with powers.”

When he looked up, Reggie looked perturbed and confused, Luke’s expression very similar, while Alex looked a little green around the gills. Julie, on the other hand, was frowning impressively at him and demanded, “Did they mention a name? Any way we can find them and maybe warn them?”

“No,” Willie shook his head. “No, not really. Only that it was a man, and that—that ghosts were flocking towards him. Like… like he was a beacon, or something. Not enough to find him. But that’s not—”

“Willie,” Alex said shakily, but Willie shook his head and waved his hand dismissively.

“That’s not it,” he continued. “That’s not the thing I have to tell you guys. It’s—” He hesitated. “They mentioned making sure they didn’t have a repeat from last time… making sure he didn’t disappear for twenty-five years.” He trailed off there, leaving the implication of his words hanging in the air between them and watched as it hit all three of the boys differently.

Luke’s expression went from confused to baffled to furious understanding, and it took Reggie a few seconds of complete confusion before he, too, looked like he understood what Willie was trying to say.

Alex, on the other hand, looked completely unsurprised, as though he’d expected Willie to say something like this, like Caleb arranging their murder was expected rather than baffling, and though he looked nauseous and on the verge of an anxiety attack, he didn’t look as surprised as his two bandmates.

Julie, too, looked far less surprised than Willie would’ve expected.

“That makes sense,” Julie muttered. “That’s why he was so desperately trying to get you guys to join his club,” she told the boys, glancing towards them, “He lost you three once already, arranged for your murder, he couldn’t risk losing you again.”

“He said—” Alex said hoarsely, leaning forward with his elbows planted firmly on his knees, head in his hands, “The guy who killed us—Maggie said he always insisted ghosts made him do it.”

“Oh my God, that’s right,” Reggie breathed, his eyes wide.

“We have to find him,” Julie said reasonably, and Willie looked at her expectantly. “We have to find him and figure out what he knows—see if Caleb or whoever was working for him let anything slip or said anything that might point to why he wanted you guys dead.”

“Maggie knows,” Reggie whispered. “Maggie went to see him once, when she was still trying to figure out what happened to us. She knows where he’s locked up, she knows his name—”

“I’ll call her then,” Julie nodded determinedly. “I’ll call her and explain what we know, explain that we need to find him, so that we can figure out what we’re up against.” When all four boys blinked at her, she heaved a sigh and added, “We need to know why he’s so dead set on having you guys join his stupid little club. If we know why, we can start to figure out how to get him to back off.”

“I don’t know,” Willie said slowly. “Guys, he’s dangerous. He nearly killed you last time. Again.”

“He doesn’t know we’re onto him,” Julie pointed out. “It’s worth a shot.”

Luke nodded slowly. “Okay,” he said, glancing towards both Alex and Reggie before he nodded. “Okay, give Maggie a call; see what she knows about this guy, where we can find him, how we can talk to him.” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and sighed, “Maybe she’d be willing to go with us to see him, since, you know…”

“We’re dead and he killed us,” Alex finished dryly.

Reggie looked like he was going to throw up and Willie could relate.

Now that that immediate crisis was out of the way, all he could focus on was the way Reggie kept darting looks at Alex and Luke, gnawing nervously on his lower lip, the way Alex was fidgeting restlessly and had been the entire time he’d been down here, even before Willie had told him what he’d overheard, the way Luke had planted himself between his own boyfriend and Willie’s and—

And he was probably reading too much into it, seeing things that weren’t really there, because he needed to trust his boyfriend rather than jump to conclusions based on a three-second glimpse of a conversation between two best friends.

“Okay,” he said shakily, “I guess I—I guess that’s all I came here for. I’ll—I’ll go back before I’m missed, or before Caleb realizes I heard something, I don’t want—”

“Do you have to go already?” Alex interrupted, standing up from the couch with a hopeful smile and damn if Willie wasn’t so fucking weak and gay for his handsome drummer boy looking at him like that. He could feel himself give in, could feel himself lean into Alex’s touch when the other ghost rested a hand on Willie’s elbow, letting the drummer steer him away from the rest of the group.

He focused his attention on Alex, who trailed his fingers down Willie’s arm to interlace their fingers.

“So, what’s up, buttercup?” Willie drawled as Alex pulled him towards the little flower nook, settling on the piano bench and smiling up at his boyfriend, because… because he wanted to trust Alex. He hadn’t done anything wrong, as far as Willie knew, and Willie certainly didn’t have any reason to be snippy towards him—being stressed about Caleb’s plotting and the future of the Ghost Club ghosts was no excuse to be an asshole.

“Uh,” Alex said, settling down beside him, fidgeting with Willie’s fingers. “I, uh—I was talking to Reggie earlier—”

“I know,” Willie interrupted quietly, and when Alex looked up, wide-eyed, he added, “I poofed into the house first, heard you talking, but—” He swallowed thickly and looked away, a little afraid to see the look on Alex’s face. “It looked hella intimate, so I poofed right back out, I—I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Oh,” Alex breathed. “You saw us?” And when Willie dared look up, Alex’s expression was one of complete and utter panic, and Willie’s heart sank.

“There was something to see?” he asked faux-casually, even though he felt like he was going to hurl.

“Uh,” Alex stammered, cheeks flushing red as he averted his gaze. “Sort of?” he squeaked, looking up at Willie with an utterly apologetic expression. “It’s—we—I—uh. I kissed Reggie. A little.”

Willie exhaled and squeezed his eyes shut.

Just like he’d thought, then.

“What. The. Hell, Alex?” he demanded, pushing up off the bench to pace in front of it. “I mean, I—what exactly do you expect me to say to that?”

Alex looked up at him with big, shiny blue eyes, and God, Willie hated that he loved him so much, that he loved Alex enough to want to stick around to listen to an explanation even after knowing Alex kissed his ex-boyfriend and that Willie had been a hair away from catching them.

“It was my fault,” Reggie said, and Willie spun on his heel to find the other ghost standing on the other side of the piano, fidgeting with the sleeves of his flannel. “I kissed him. I’m so sorry, I didn’t—”

“No,” Alex interrupted, standing from the bench too, giving Willie a pleading look, “No, it—it’s my fault, honestly. Really, Reg, if you hadn’t, I—”

“Are you seriously arguing about this right in front of me?” Willie demanded in disbelief, looking between his boyfriend and Reggie incredulously. Reggie flinched and Alex looked suitably chastened, and Willie felt like everything was falling apart all around him and he had no idea how to stop it.

Luke came up behind Reggie, hands pushed deep into the pockets of his vest, and said, “Just tell him what you told me, guys. He deserves an explanation as much as I did.” He glanced at Willie and added, “It’s not a justification, but… it’ll make some sense, at least.”

Willie stared, “You okay with this?”

“Oh, no,” Luke laughed, high and bitter and insincere. “No, I am not okay with this, but at least now I know why it happened.”

“What does that even—” Willie began, but Alex cut in before he could even finish his sentence.

“I lied to Reggie,” he exclaimed, and when they all turned to stare at him, he continued, cheeks flushed, “When we broke up. I lied to him about why I wanted to stop what we were, and—”

“When we were talking about it,” Reggie interjected, “it was like everything came back. Everything I felt back then, everything I haven’t really thought about since we broke and I—I wanted—I needed—I needed to know if I still—if—”

“If you’re still in love with my boyfriend,” Willie concluded, crossing his arms over his chest.

He was well aware he was being rude, but he didn’t feel exactly charitable either. Towards either of them—Reggie might’ve kissed Willie’s boyfriend, but Alex didn’t seem exactly sorry about it either, and Willie didn’t know what to do with that. After Alex had told him about his previous relationship with Reggie, he’d sworn to Willie that he didn’t need to worry about it, that they were great friends still and that any and all romantic feelings were behind them and Willie had believed him.

“So when you told me this,” Willie waved his hand between Reggie and Alex vaguely, “was all over, were you lying? Telling me what I wanted to hear?”

“No,” Alex said pleadingly, reaching out towards Willie. “No, Willie, I promise I wasn’t lying—I didn’t think—we didn’t think—” Willie stayed where he was, let Alex take his hands in his, let his boyfriend draw him closer because he wanted to believe Alex, he did—

“So what now?” he asked. “Am I just supposed to forget this happened?”

“No,” Alex shook his head, clutching at Willie’s hand so tightly it almost hurt. “No, I’d never ask you to—Willie, I’m so sorry.” Willie didn’t resist when Alex pressed his fingers to his jaw, guiding his chin up so Willie had to look him in the eye. “I’m sorry,” Alex repeated. “I never, ever want to hurt you, and I know that I am now, and I’m so sorry.” Alex’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears and the thing was that Willie believed him, but he didn’t know how to just get past this either.

“Do you love him?”

Willie’s voice was barely more than a whisper, and he hated that Reggie and Luke were here to witness this, but… well, it was what it was.

Alex heaved a sigh and shrugged miserably. “I don’t know—I mean…” He glanced towards Reggie and gave a sad little smile, “I don’t remember how to not love him. But I—I love you. And I—I don’t know if I still have romantic feelings for Reggie, and I—”

“I don’t know either,” Reggie admitted quietly. “I think we need to—to—"

Luke grimaced and Willie glanced between them with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. “So,” he uttered slowly, “what, you’re asking permission to figure out whether you’re still in love with each other?” He looked at Alex in disbelief. “You want me to sit by and watch while you and your only serious ex-boyfriend figure things out?”

Alex stared at him with a pained expression but didn’t say anything.

Willie scoffed, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his hair. “You know,” he sighed. “I know I told you I’d do anything for you, hot dog, but…” He exhaled shakily. “I don’t—I don’t know if I can do this.” He looked up at his boyfriend—his wonderful, beautiful, cheatingdrummer boy—and asked, “What if I say no? What are you going to do if I say I’m not okay with this?”

Alex blinked, opened his mouth to say something and when no words came out, closed it again.

It was enough of a confirmation.

Willie tried to ignore the sharp, shooting pain in his chest and shot a sad smile towards Alex. “Do whatever you want, Alex. You’re going to anyway.”

Before Alex could say anything else, he poofed out.

--------------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (4:57 p.m.) LUKE

Luke let a soft groan fall from his lips when Willie poofed out and Alex kind of crumpled down onto the piano bench, shoulders hunched and arms wrapped around himself.

“That could’ve gone better,” he muttered, rubbing a hand through his hair as Reggie fidgeted nervously beside him. Luke didn’t have to look at him to know his boyfriend’s eyes would be fixed on Alex—if today hadn’t happened, Reggie would probably already be by Alex’s side, clumsily trying to comfort him, and that meant the only reason he wasn’t was because he was holding back for Luke’s sake. Of course, if today hadn’t happened, Alex wouldn’t be upset in the first place.

Luke sighed again and nudged his shoulder against his boyfriend’s.

“Go hug him,” he said. “I’ll find Willie. Talk to him.”

Reggie looked back at him with wide, watery green eyes and whispered, “Luke.” Luke smiled shakily and fit his hand around the back of Reggie’s neck, pulling him in so their foreheads rested together.

“I love you,” Luke whispered, tightening his fingers on Reggie’s neck. “And I hate this, but I get it. Talk. You’ve got some time. Julie’s calling Maggie, and I’ll go find Willie. Talk, figure out what you both need to to figure everything out, and we can talk.”

“I love you,” Reggie whispered in response and Luke smiled like it didn’t physically hurt to hear Reggie say the words when he still might end up choosing Alex over Luke in the end.

He let Reggie go and watched, stomach twisting uncomfortably, as Reggie fit himself onto the bench beside Alex, looking away when Alex collapsed into Reggie’s arms. He wasn’t sure where to look for Willie, but the skatepark where Alex had introduced him to them seemed like the best place to start, so with one more glance to his best friend and boyfriend, he poofed out of the studio.

He didn’t find Willie at the skatepark, or the museum, or the strip or anywhere else—until he poofed up to the Hollywood sign, because he was pretty sure Alex had mentioned a date there once, and found Willie sitting on top of the ‘H’, slumped against the side, arms wrapped around himself.

Luke took a deep breath and tried to make sure he was calm, collected, before he poofed himself up onto the sign next to Willie. “Hey man,” he said casually, trying not to wince when Willie looked at him with glassy eyes, rimmed with red.

“Hi,” Willie croaked, before slumping back to rest his head against the cool metal. “Alex send you?”

“No,” Luke shook his head, shifting so he could sit with his legs curled up underneath him. “No, I just… If anyone knows how you’re feeling right now, it’s me, and… I mean, I definitely want someone to talk to, so I figured you might too.”

Willie huffed out a breath, shaking his head, and looked back at Luke. “How are you this calm? Your boyfriend cheated on you. With my boyfriend. After they both promised us there wasn’t anything to worry about, that their relationship was definitely over and done with.” His voice was shaky, just like it’d been on the night he’d confessed what Caleb had done to them, and Luke wished they were actually close enough for him to just wrap himself around the other ghost in a tight hug that Willie so very clearly needed—not to mention how much Luke himself wished someone would hug him.

“I’m…” Luke heaved a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair before he turned sideways to face Willie. “I’m not calm, or okay, or anything you seem to think I am. I think… I think that what Alex and Reggie did today is the most reckless, selfish wildly out of character thing either of them has ever done in their entire lives.”

Luke swallowed thickly and fiddled with one of his rings. “And… I guess I… I get it. And that’s both better and worse, because I don’t like it, I’m not happy about it, but after I let Reggie explain, I did get it. I get why it happened and why they can’t just pretend that it didn’t.”

Willie blinked at him, lips parted, and Luke sighed again. “Okay, look, they didn’t really do a great job of explaining, earlier—”

“No shit,” Willie huffed, and Luke smiled a little despite himself.

“How much did Alex tell you about their relationship?” he asked cautiously.

Willie shrugged, but pulled himself up, turning so he was sitting cross-legged too, facing Luke. “He told me they hooked up a couple of times after you and he broke up, and that they tried dating seriously too, but that it didn’t work out, that their dynamic didn’t work so he broke it off a couple of months before you guys died.”

Luke shook his head. “So basically nothing,” he muttered. “Okay. There was a lot more to it than that. Reggie’s told me… well, not everything, I don’t think, but a lot more than that.”

Willie swallowed thickly. “Okay,” he whispered. “Tell me then. Why should I understand?”

Luke wrapped his arms around himself and leaned his head back against the side of the ‘H’. “They’d been… messing around regularly—and exclusively, despite what Alex seems to think—since ’92. Reggie had a girlfriend for a couple of months in ’93, but that didn’t really work out, and after that…” Luke sighed and shrugged. “After that he was only ever with Alex. Reg says they didn’t really call it dating or anything like that until ’94, but in hindsight it felt like it anyway.”

Willie looked away, and Luke kindly pretended he didn’t see Willie wipe at his eyes.

“So they were serious,” Willie said quietly.

Luke shrugged helplessly. “I think so. More serious than they knew too.”

Willie sighed, but it sounded more confused and frustrated than angry this time, and when he looked back at Luke, his eyes were clear and dry. “So why’d they break up? If everything was so good, if they’d been together that long, if they were in love? Why would Alex lieand say it wasn’t serious?”

Luke shrugged. “I don’t know, man. He can be a dumbass sometimes, and…” He shook his head and looked down, tangling his fingers in his necklace. “He didn’t actually say why he broke up with Reggie in there, did he?”

Willie shook his head mutely.

Luke sighed. “He figured out I was in love with Reggie too.” He rolled his eyes and admitted, “To be fair, it probably wasn’t very hard, I don’t think I was subtle about it at all, but… yeah, I think.” He fidgeted with his necklace nervously. “I think he freaked out a little when he realized how I felt. He’s always been… After he came out, his parents… they were never really cool again, and he hung onto us for support a lot.” Luke smiled sadly and said, “Not that we minded, obviously, but we became his entire family really fast and the idea of losing us terrified him.”

He sighed. “I don’t know, of course, I haven’t asked him, but… I’ve seen him react in more illogical ways when he’s scared we’re going to decide we don’t want him around anymore.”

Luke bit down on his lip as he remembered Alex coming out to them, tears in his eyes, knuckles white with the grip he’d had on his fanny pack when they’d been thirteen, and the time Reggie had gotten into a fight with someone at school who’d insulted Alex and had his nose broken and Alex had somehow managed to blame himself—remembered those fraught first few days after their breakup, where Alex had walked on eggshells around him, terrified that Luke was going to kick him out of the band for not getting over his feelings fast enough.

“Reggie’s like that too,” he said quietly. “Abandonment issues. They’ve done weirder stuff than this.”

“So,” Willie said slowly, frowning hard. “So he broke up with Reggie because he was afraid you’d kick him out of the band if he didn’t?”

Luke shrugged. “I don’t know for sure obviously, and I doubt he did it with that consciously in mind, but… I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out he let his anxiety brain convince him that there was no way I’d let him stay around if we were both in love with Reggie, if he was dating Reggie and I wasn’t, and broke up with him to save us all the trouble.”

Willie groaned and dug his hands into his hair. “…and that’s what he lied to Reggie about.”

“I think so,” Luke nodded. “He told Reggie it wasn’t working. That he didn’t feel the same way, so Reg kind of pushed away everything romantic he felt for Alex, refused to think about it.” He chewed down on his lower lip and said, “He wrote it all down, wrote dozens of songs, and never played them, until…”

“Until now,” Willie finished, looking up at Luke with reddened eyes.

“Yeah,” Luke whispered. “Until now.”

Willie heaved a very heavy sigh and thumped his head back against the wall behind him, staring up at the sky. “I get it,” he said, voice thick and choked. “You were right. It’s both better and worse to understand them.”

Luke nodded quietly.

They sat together in silence, and Luke wondered how Alex and Reggie’s conversation fared—and then promptly realized he wasn’t sure he wanted to know at all. He understood, and he sympathized because he loved Reggie and he could see how much this was hurting him too, could see how torn up Alex was over the entire thing and… and they were his best friends.

In the end all he wanted was for both of them to be happy.

That didn’t mean he was looking forward to having his own heart broken though.

“What the hell are we gonna do?” Willie piped up after a while. Luke looked back at the other ghost contemplatively and then shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I told Reggie to find out what they need to figure this—to figure themselves—out, to talk to Alex, but I don’t—I don’t know what is going to happen now.” Willie huffed a breath and jumped to his feet, pacing the little platform anxiously in a stunning approximation of Alex’s expert model strut, tugging his fingers through his hair.

“I don’t know what to do with this,” Willie exclaimed. “I want to understand, and I do, okay, but—but I don’t want to have to sit by and watch him fall in love with someone else.”

“Me either,” admitted Luke. “But what choice do we have? Demand that they don’t resolve their thing and have all of our relationships suffer for it?” Willie groaned and threw his hands up in exasperation before he plopped down beside Luke, leaning their shoulders together casually.

“At least we’ll have each other, right?” he joked, and he felt Willie huff a reluctant laugh before the other ghost tipped his head back against the wall, smiling weakly.

“Promise you’ll run away with me if this doesn’t end well?” Willie quipped, looking at Luke with an expression that was equal parts hopeful and heartbroken, and Luke found, a little unexpectedly, that he was willing to do a lot to erase the heartbreak from Willie’s eyes.

He nodded, offering him the most sincere smile that he could muster. “Sure. I’ll teach you how to play the guitar and you’ll teach me how to skate and we’ll make everyone jealous with how rad we are.”

Willie snorted a laugh, and Luke smiled too.

“We should go back eventually,” Willie said after they’d both fallen silent for a few moments. He sounded devastated at the mere prospect, and Luke was still a little taken aback by the strong urge he felt to shield his newest friend from heartache.

“We don’t have to yet,” he said quietly. “We can just… sit here, for a while.”

Willie chuckled weakly and rolled his head to the side again, eyeing Luke carefully. “How’re you doing with all of this? You’ve said you’re not okay, but—”

Luke shrugged. “I mean… this sucks. This whole thing…” His voice broke, and he shuddered before he whispered, “I love him. I just… In the end, I just want him to be happy, even if that’s not with me.”

He smiled sadly. “I’m sure I’ll get over it if I need to.”

Willie gaped at him, and Luke stared back for a second before Willie huffed and yanked him in for a hug. Luke’s arms came up to grip at Willie’s shoulders automatically, and he blinked owlishly for a few seconds before he sank into the embrace. He felt Willie shudder in his arms and choked, “Bet you didn’t realize you needed a hug too, did you?”

Willie snorted a laugh right in his ear and Luke smiled.

“We’re going to work this out somehow, bro,” he whispered. “One way or another.”

------------------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (4:43 p.m.) T’NIA

She had just put Regina down for a nap and was headed back down the stairs to join her sister and her family for hot chocolates after their walk when she heard Maggie’s voice drift from the spare bedroom. She hesitated for a moment just outside the door, unsure if she should interrupt, before shaking her head at her own hesitation. She and Maggie had no secrets anymore, and as unbelievable as half of their life was these days, at least she knew Maggie wasn’t hiding things from her.

She knocked lightly on the door, waiting for Maggie’s assenting grumble before she let herself in.

Maggie sat cross-legged up against the headboard, wearing a much-too-large white linen shirt, her hair tumbling loose around her shoulders, a blanket tucked in tight around her waist and legs. It was, perhaps, the most undone and casual she had ever seen Maggie look in days, and it made her insides feel warm and her legs wobbly.

The only thing that ruined the intimacy of the moment was Maggie’s unsettled expression as she stared down at her phone.

“Hi,” T’Nia said quietly.

Maggie didn’t look up, but the line of her shoulders stiffened just so, and T’Nia barely resisted the urge to run to her wife to offer comfort. It was an old urge, one she’d not experienced in quite some time, and one she wasn’t exactly pleased to feel again. Maggie hadn’t had a lot of bad days in the past three years, hadn’t needed to go to therapy more than once a month in even longer than that, but the risk of the depression hitting her hard was always there.

“Hi,” Maggie finally said, glancing up from her phone for a second before directing her eyes back down.

“You doing okay, sweetheart?” T’Nia asked as she moved into the room, the door shutting with a soft click behind her. Even though she and Maggie didn’t actually spend much time in San Diego and even less time staying with Ende, the room was still cozy and warm and was quite similar to their own bedroom back in L.A.

“Julie called,” Maggie said, still not looking at her, “They need my help locating—” She bit her lip and sniffed, “Jacob Tafani.” T’Nia stood rooted to the spot, warring with her instinctual response to rage that Julie had exposed Maggie to a trigger like that so blatantly and her urge to run and comfort Maggie.

“Why—are you—” she stuttered ineloquently, but Maggie mercifully shook her head before T’Nia managed to stutter her way through the question.

“They think they’ve found the ghost who ordered them killed,” she explained. “And I’m not… I want to help them. They deserve to know what happened.” She looked up at T’Nia with shiny, wet eyes and whispered, “I… I’m just scared of what it’ll…” She shook her head again and choked, “I don’t want to go back there, T’Nia. I can’t go back there.”

She exhaled shakily. “Does it make me terrible to not want to? He’s my brother, I—”

T’Nia still felt shaken, unsteady and unsure of how to respond to her wife, but she moved towards her anyway. “Reggie loves you,” she said in a soft voice. “If you tell him this is… this is too much, he’ll understand. He’d never ask you to do this if you said it was too difficult.”

Maggie looked down and away, and T’Nia knew she was repressing her instinct to wave away T’Nia’s concern, her reassurance that Reggie wouldn’t want her to do anything she didn’t want to.

She was drawn from her thoughts when Maggie touched her hand to T’Nia’s lightly. “I know he wouldn’t ask me to,” she said quietly, seriously. “But... I want to help them too. Julie can’t get into the prison, I’m the only one who’s been there before. We know he’ll talk to me. It’s just not… not great.”

“No,” T’Nia agreed. “No, it isn’t.”

She looked down to their hands and swallowed thickly. “You know that I just want what’s best for you,” she then said in a rush of words. “Don’t you? And your brother adores you. No one is going to be angry with you for making this choice for yourself. No one will be offended if you can’t do this.”

Maggie smiled tremulously. “I hope so.”

---------------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (5:17 p.m.) REGGIE

There were shiny tear tracks on Alex’s cheeks and the whites of his eyes were more red than white, and Reggie had never seen him look this miserable—not when Luke had broken up with him, not when Alex had explained, tears in his eyes, that his parents weren’t okay with him being gay, not when he’d broken up with Reggie, sad and apologetic—and he hated it.

He didn’t want Alex to be miserable.

“Willie’s gonna understand,” he urged, pushing himself off from the arm of the couch, arms still clasped tight against his body, and taking a tentative step forward towards Alex, who looked at him, eyes wide and unsure and filled with pain, but didn’t move back. “You and I both know he’s—he’s the coolest guy ever. He’s angry and he should be, you know, I did kiss his boyfriend, but—”

He breathed in shakily, hands trembling when he unwound his arms from around his own torso to reach for Alex before thinking better of it and pulling his hand back again.

“Alex,” he whispered, keeping their eyes locked as he took a tentative step closer. “I’m sorry,” he repeated the apology he’d been repeating for hours. “I’m sorry that I kissed you and screwed everything up for you and Willie. I’m sorry, Alex. I just got so confused when you—with—with everything.”

A tiny, involuntary sound fell from Alex’s lips and Reggie wished he was brave enough to reach out to comfort him again, to show him that Reggie could deal with whatever leftover feelings he still had—he’d been able to do it thus far, and he could do it again. “We don’t have to do this,” he continued, ignoring the wobble in his voice as he pressed on, desperate to make Alex smile again. “We’re not—you broke up with me for a reason, and I should—I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have pushed.”

He swallowed thickly and looked down at his hands. “Doesn’t matter why, right? We broke up. We moved on.” His voice broke and his breath caught for a long, distended moment—he felt dizzy and afraid but also strong because he should have said these things hours ago, before he kissed him—before Alex lifted his free hand and lightly brushed his fingers across Reggie’s cheek, and Reggie’s breath left his lungs in a rush.

“Maybe,” Alex whispered. “But I still did it for the wrong reasons. And I lied to both of us. I thought,” Alex hesitated, “I thought you were okay with us breaking up. You’ve joked about it, you’re—you’re with Luke, you’re in love with Luke.”

“Because I thought we broke up because you weren’t in love with me,” Reggie replied unsteadily. “I thought you didn’t feel the same way I felt—I’m not a masochist, Alex, I don’t actually enjoy unrequited love. You told me it was over and I tried to move on.”

“Did you?” Alex implored, his eyes wide and so scared and confused that it made Reggie’s heart clench.

“Yeah, I mean, I—I thought you didn’t love me, that you knew how I felt about you and… and didn’t want that,” he began, though he was hesitant, because he wasn’t sure about any of this, wasn’t sure how to describe his feelings for Alex anymore.

“I didn’t think you wanted to schlep me off on Luke the second you figured out how he felt about me.” The words were deliberately blunt and Reggie hated the way Alex flinched away, but he followed, staying close, not quite touching but close enough to feel the muted warmth from Alex’s skin radiating onto his own.

He’d promised Luke they’d start figuring this out and Reggie wanted to.

“That’s not—Reg, of course I loved you. I loved you so much—” Alex tried, but Reggie was on a roll, was getting out all the things he wished he’d said back then, and he couldn’t stop.

“But not enough to fight for me,” Reggie interrupted. “Not enough to want to fight to keep me. I was yours, Alex. You wouldn’t have had to fight at all; you should’ve just talked to me.”

“Reg...”

“Why wasn’t I—why weren’t we worth fighting for, ‘lex?” His voice shook as he spoke and maybe he’d have been embarrassed if it’d been anyone but Alex hearing him like this, but it was Alex. Alex had held him when he cried hundreds of times, had seen Reggie make a fool of himself a thousand times over, had seen him at his most vulnerable after his dad kicked him out and took care of him—there wasn’t much Reggie was ashamed to show in front of Alex.

Alex gave him the kind of heartsick expression he’d given Reggie the night he broke up with him, and this time he didn’t hesitate when he stepped closer, pressing both hands to Reggie’s cheeks. “Alex,” Reggie whispered, feeling off-balance and a little shaken and just a little afraid, because they’d screwed up once already today, and he wanted—

He wanted everyone to be okay, he wanted to stop hurting Luke and Willie and Alex and himself and he wanted to be sure.

“We were,” Alex said softly, intensely. “We were—you were. And I wanted to, but…” He shook his head and admitted, “I was scared. I knew how you felt about Luke because you’d always been honest about it, and when I found out how he felt, I—”

“You ran,” Reggie whispered. “Like you always do.”

Alex looked taken aback. “Reg, I don’t—”

“Yeah, you do,” Reggie nodded, and he swallowed thickly, looking away. “You always had one foot out the door. You spent our entire relationship running away from me, from us, Alex. Every time things were hard, or complicated, you’d run. The only thing different about the breakup was that I stopped chasing you.”

“That’s what you thought?” Alex choked, looking aghast as he stared at Reggie. “That I—that you were the one chasing me the entire time we were together?”

“Wasn’t I?” Reggie demanded, pushing away from Alex to settle back down on the couch. “Like when I told you how I felt about Luke, you stopped talking to me outside of band practice for two weeks, and when my dad kicked us out, you got so up in your own head you convinced yourself I’d break up with you so you tried to leave me first and I… I tried to keep you every time. By the time we broke up, I figured… I figured maybe I’d been trying to fight off the inevitable anyway.”

He drew his lower lip between his teeth and wrapped his arms around himself, blinking hard against the burn of tears in his eyes.

“Reggie,” Alex whispered, sounding devastated, and Reggie had barely had the chance to look up at him before Alex was suddenly on his knees in front of him, his hands large and warm on Reggie’s thighs. “I’m sorry,” Alex continued, his blue eyes wide and sincere, “I’m sorry I made you feel like I wasn’t all-in. I was—I really, really was. I wanted—I wanted us to be real, but—”

“We were real,” Reggie interrupted hoarsely. “It was real to me, Alex.”

Alex’s eyes were glassy with tears as he whispered, “It was to me too, Reg. I think… I think I got scared of how real it was.” He looked down and reached out to take Reggie’s hand, tangling their fingers together. “Maybe… I got so freaked out when I realized how Luke felt because… because it’d change everything. If he told you and you picked him, I—” He broke off and looked away, and Reggie’s heart ached, but Alex just exhaled a shuddering breath before continuing, “But if you didn’t—if you’d have picked me, us…”

“No denying how serious that would’ve been, right?” Reggie whispered.

Alex shot him a watery smile. “I told you,” he whispered. “You scare me, sometimes.”

Reggie exhaled a sob and nodded before slipping off the couch and throwing his arms around Alex, burying his face in Alex’s shoulder. They hadn’t hugged like this, just the two of them, since the last time Reggie had spent the night with Alex, a week after they’d broken up, and Reggie had almost managed to forget how much he loved Alex’s hugs.

Alex took a second to catch up, to process what was happening before he wrapped his arms around Reggie’s waist, clutching at Reggie just as tightly as Reggie clutched at him.

“I’m sorry,” Reggie whispered against Alex’s shoulder, digging his fingers into the soft fabric of Alex’s hoodie.

Alex huffed a breath and whispered, “Me too, Reg.”

Reggie had no idea how long they stayed like that, kneeling on the floor in front of the couch, wrapped in a tight hug before the door creaked open and Willie and Luke stepped in. Reggie pulled away from Alex slowly, something that felt a lot like guilt twisting his stomach at the expression on Luke’s face, even though they hadn’t been doing anything but hugging.

He pulled himself back up the couch and looked up at his boyfriend, who shot him a small, uncertain smile. “Hi,” he squeaked.

Luke shared a look with Willie before he crossed his arms over his chest. “Willie and I have some… concerns.” Willie nodded tersely without taking his eyes off of Alex, who stood beside the couch, fiddling with his rings nervously. “And ground rules,” Luke added. “We’re—you guys have to figure out how you feel about each other, and about us, and we get that. But there have to be ground rules.”

“Anything,” Alex blurted, and Reggie nodded urgently.

“Nothing happens behind our backs,” Willie said, voice steady but clearly wrought with emotion. “I—we get that this is hard to figure out and that emotions can run high, but—”

“We’ll tell you everything,” Reggie promised immediately. “Everything.”

“And try to avoid kissing people that aren’t your boyfriend,” Luke piped in, chewing on his lower lip, and when Reggie looked up at him, Luke was looking back at him desperately, fingers twitching against his biceps.

“And be honest,” Willie whispered. “Whatever it is, please keep talking to us.”

Alex nodded wordlessly and that seemed to be all that Willie needed to throw himself into Alex’s arms. Alex let out a soft, hurt sound and caught him, wrapping his arms tightly around Willie and Reggie couldn’t help but smile because he could see the softened line of Alex’s shoulders, the tension that had drained from him the second Willie touched him.

Reggie still wasn’t sure what he felt for Alex anymore, but… he really did just want to see him happy.

He tore his gaze from Willie and Alex when Luke sat next to him, hands shaking and lower lip pushed out just a little into a tiny pout. “Hi,” Reggie said again, quietly, tentatively reaching out for Luke’s hand.

“Hey baby,” Luke whispered, tangling their fingers together.

“I’m—" Reggie began, but Luke shook his head, leaning forward to rest their foreheads together.

“I know,” Luke said, squeezing Reggie’s fingers. “I know, baby. I forgive you. We can—we’re going to figure this out. All of us.” He sounded so sure, so convinced, like he’d bend the rules of the universe itself to make things right, and Reggie believed him.

“I love you,” Reggie breathed hopelessly, because he did.

Luke huffed a laugh. “I know,” he said. “I know. I love you too, baby.”

----------

READ IT HERE:

Start from the beginning:

Unfinished Business:

(1) (2) (3)

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

A Song Only You Can Hear

(1) (2) (3) (4)

Or read it HERE (BaMBaT), HERE (UB) OR HERE (ASoYCH) on AO3 :D

#A Song Only You Can Hear #ASOYCH #julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #reggie/luke #Alex/willie #willex #ruke #reggie/Luke/Alex/Willie #ot4 #BamBat #BamBat sequel #peterpatter #Lisa writes #my writing

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cuthian · 3 years

Note

WIP game: memories! (not me trying to find out if something similar is going to happen to Luke in the next chapter asdfhj)

Oooh, very sneaky, I see you 😉 I don't actually have the word "memory" in chapter sixteen of A Song Only You Can Hear (to be fair, it's not done yet, so it might be in there later on).

I do have 'remember' in an unpublished Venji (Love Victor) fic I'm working on though, so here's that line!

“Don’t worry,” Benji said slowly, sincerely. “I remember my first date with a guy—you’re doing much better than I did.”

#ask game #my writing #a song only you can hear #asoych #jatp #love victor #venji

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cuthian · 3 years

Text

A Song Only You Can Hear Chapter Two

Hi guys!

Second chapter ☺️ Also... I'm sorry? *hides*

Love Annaelle

PS Unbeta'd, so any and all mistakes are mine.

TWO

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” – Harriet Tubman

16 DECEMBER 2020 MAGGIE

“You know, someone told me once that a watched phone never rings, sugar plum.”

Maggie looked up from where she’d been engaged in a fierce staring contest with her infuriatingly silent phone, finding Ende, T’Nia’s sister leaning against the kitchen island. She hadn’t even heard her come into the kitchen. Maggie hung her head a little before she smiled up at Ende ruefully.

They’d been friends since college—had bonded over being L.A. girls in New York—and while Ende hadn’t been a massive fan of her best friend and her sister falling head over heels in love with each other at first, she’d come around quickly. Maggie was still relieved that she had, because the last thing she’d wanted was to lose her best friend over a girl.

“You’ve been a little preoccupied,” Ende observed, crossing her arms over her chest. “T’Nia mentioned you took on a new band recently, but I thought everything was going pretty well on that front?”

Maggie sighed and nodded, taking her eyes off her phone to look at Ende.

“It is,” she nodded. “They’re just…” she shook her head and heaved another sigh. Much as she wanted to tell Ende everything, she knew her friend wouldn’t believe her, and… and who would, honestly? She was still relatively sure T’Nia had only believed her because she knew Maggie well enough to know she’d never lie about something like this, and because she’d been able to prove what she was saying.

“They remind me of my brother,” she finally said, settling on something as close to the truth as she could manage. “Him and the other boys. They’re just… they’re so young, but they’re so passionate and so incredibly fucking talented, it’s…” she exhaled and shook her head. “It’s a little insane. And I guess I just… worry. They’re kids, you know?”

She leaned forward to rest her elbows on the kitchen island and shot a smile towards Ende. “I guess I’m a little prone to taking my work home with me.”

Ende nodded slowly, uncrossing her arms from her chest as she leaned on the counter too.

“After everything you went through with your family and your brother, I can see why that’d be hard to let go,” she conceded. “Just… promise me you won’t obsess, okay?”

“No,” Maggie denied immediately, maybe a little too readily. Ende raised an eyebrow at her and Maggie winced, hanging her head again before she admitted, “I’m trying not to let myself slip into that mindset again. And T’Nia knows, she… she helps. And I have Regina to focus on too.”

Ende hummed sympathetically and then pulled out one of the barstools to sit at the island across from Maggie. “When I met you,” she began slowly, “you were in a tailspin, Mags. Figuring out what happened to your brother and his friends was driving you crazy, was ruining your life one day at a time and you were letting it.”

Maggie looked down and swallowed thickly.

There was no use denying it.

She’d been desperate to know why her brother had been taken from her, why someone had looked at him and Luke and Alex and decided to kill them, and when there weren’t answers forthcoming, she’d… she’d lost it, a little.

Ende, and later T’Nia, had dragged her out of that deep, dark hole kicking and screaming and had helped her see that her brother had loved her and would never have wanted her to live the way she was living back then. They’d convinced her to go to therapy, to go back to school and to stop running away from everything that music meant to her—

They’d saved her life.

“I’m not going to let it get that far again,” Maggie said firmly. “It’s different.”

Ende looked down and sighed. “And I believe you when you say that, I really do. But as much as you’re worrying about those kids, I worry about you.”

Maggie was struck silent by the intensity of Ende’s gaze when her friend looked up again.

“I love you, Mags,” Ende continued. “You’re my sister and my best friend and I want you to be okay.” She fell silent for a moment and then added, thoughtfully, “And also I think T’Nia would cry for weeks if you lost your mind again and no one wants to see that.”

Maggie snorted a laugh and shook her head, and Ende dissolved into giggles.

“What’re you two giggling about?” T’Nia chuckled from the doorway, and Maggie jumped a little, because her situational awareness seemed to have stayed behind in L.A.

Jesus.

“Nothing important,” she said lightly, although she had to admit T’Nia could probably see right through her anyway. She kept her eye on her wife as she moved into the kitchen, eyebrow raised at her and Ende.

“Fine,” T’Nia chuckled, leaning in to press a quick kiss to Maggie’s cheek before she turned to open the fridge. “Keep your secrets then. I’ll be out in the living room, feeding our daughter.”

“We were just talking about this new band she’s signing,” Ende said calmly, rolling her eyes a little.

“Oh, Julie and the Phantoms?” T’Nia asked, pausing on her way back to the living room, resting her hand on the small of Maggie’s back. “They’re very good. Nice kids too.”

“I told her,” Maggie said slowly, “that they remind me of Reggie and the boys.”

“Ah,” T’Nia nodded, and God, Maggie was so glad she’d married a smart woman. “There’s similarities, definitely, even appearance-wise. They’re very talented too. Julie actually found us; her parents own the house Reggie’s band used to rehearse at. Some of their things were still there, and she came to return them to Maggie. It was very kind of her.”

Maggie swallowed. “It was,” she agreed, before holding out her wrist, “She found my bracelet.”

Ende bent forward and cooed at the cheap, brightly colored plastic beads, and T’Nia shot a smile towards Maggie, pecking her on the cheek before she left the kitchen again.

She’d need to talk to the boys and Julie when they returned to L.A., she thought idly. They needed to be prepared in case Alex’s parents or Luke’s parents recognized them if they were on stage. They shouldn’t—couldn’t—take the risk of being caught unawares again, like Julie had been when Maggie recognized Reggie in their Youtube video.

They needed to be prepared.

Luke’s parents were older, and Maggie knew they tended to avoid music because it broke their hearts still, knew that Luke’s room was exactly how he had left it, but she knew that if they ever caught a glimpse of Julie and her little ghost band, they’d recognize their son as easily and as quickly as she had recognized Reggie.

She hadn’t heard from Alex’s parents in years, but she imagined his mother, at least, would know her son if she saw him. Bobby, too, remained an unknown factor, and if Maggie had any idea how to get in touch with him without arousing his suspicions, she would.

The last time she’d spoken to him was when she’d been twenty-one and had tracked him down after a concert, threatening to sue him now that she was an adult, begging him to tell her why, how—how he could’ve betrayed Reggie and Luke and Alex the way he had, how could stand himself—

He’d let her yell and then had security escort her out.

She didn’t know how he’d respond to seeing the boys again—and of every family member out there, Bobby was the most likely to find out about the boys. His daughter, apparently, was in the same school as Julie, in the same class.

It was only a matter of time before Bobby found out and Maggie wanted to be ready when he did.

Bobby had taken enough from the boys already.

She wasn’t going to let him take another thing.

-------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (2:17 p.m.) WILLIE

The Hollywood Ghost Club had been a remarkably pleasant place to live in recent months, more so than it had been in years, and Willie didn’t trust it one bit. Caleb hadn’t always struck him as a power-hungry tyrant, and Willie was actually pretty sure he hadn’t been one, initially.

Willie hadn’t been dead for nearly as long as Caleb had been, of course, and he didn’t know the specifics of how Caleb had died or how he’d ended up running the Ghost Club, but he knew the man that had taken in a terrified, nineteen-year-old ghost and showed him there was more to the afterlife than pain and fear.

He knew the man that had, in the early years of Willie’s own afterlife, sought to protect the deceased community of Los Angeles and had used his stamp only to control ghosts that had long since lost their humanity, that posed a threat to lifers and ghosts alike.

He knew the man that had tried so hard, in the beginning, to help Willie figure out his unfinished business, and that had comforted him when Willie came to terms with his unfinished business remaining undiscovered. Willie wasn’t sure when that had changed, when Caleb had started using his power and influence to gain more power, to gain more influence, when he had gone from caring and empathetic to manipulative.

He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t noticed before the other ghost had tried to force Alex and his friends into joining the Club, before Caleb had actively threatened him and the boy Willie really, really cared about, but now that he had, he couldn’t stop himself from noticing everything about Caleb. In the wake of the boys breaking free of the stamp—and Willie wasn’t ever going to forget the all-encompassing relief he’d felt when Alex had poofed into the skatepark after the show—Caleb had thrown an unholy tantrum that had wrecked the entire Club and had sent all of the ghosts cowering in their personal chambers.

The next day, he’d acted like nothing was wrong, and he’d made Willie promise to tell the boys that Caleb wanted to call a truce. That, as long as they left Caleb alone, he would leave them alone and, as an added benefit, he even allowed Willie to spend as much time with Alex as he wanted.

Willie was a little suspicious of it, but it did mean he got to spend time with his drummer boy, so… maybe he didn’t look into as hard as he could’ve.

In hindsight, that was probably a mistake.

He hid just out of sight, listening to Caleb talk to someone Willie couldn’t quite make out from this distance, his stomach turning at the casual tone of the conversation when the subject was so abhorrent that he could barely stomach it at all.

“And you’re sure they’ve got the potential we’ve been seeking?” Caleb demanded.

“Absolutely,” a female voice Willie didn’t recognize replied. It was a high, shrill voice, with a thick accent Willie couldn’t place, and he frowned, trying to figure out why Caleb would be meeting with a stranger to talk… whatever they were talking about.

“We don’t want a repeat of the last time,” Caleb replied smoothly, but Willie could hear the threatening undertone in his voice and shivered a little.

“How was I supposed to know they’d disappear for twenty-five years?” The woman exclaimed. “They were popular, people were supposed to talk about them constantly. Their ties to the world should’ve been far stronger than it turned out, you know that as well as I do.”

Caleb harrumphed, but didn’t offer a rebuttal.

“This man radiates power,” the woman continued. “It’s almost odd. He’s like a beacon. I saw many other ghosts being drawn towards him too. He’s alive, and very much so, but he has such delicious potential it’s impossible to ignore. If we want him, we can’t wait to act, Caleb.”

Caleb hummed thoughtfully. “I’m sure you have thoughts towards ensuring he has unfinished business and will return to Earth?”

Their voices faded and Willie leaned back against the wall, feeling nauseated. They were… they were talking about killing someone, about taking their life to make them a ghost so Caleb could use him and his powers—whatever they may be, whatever they meant with potential—and…

And… and the things they’d mentioned. ‘We don’t want a repeat of last time.’

‘…disappear for twenty-five years…’

Oh God, he had to tell Alex.

He had to find Alex right now and tell him what he’d overheard.

---------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (2:23 p.m.) ALEX

Alex never meant to spy on any of his bandmates, Reggie least of all.

In his own defense, Reggie rarely played music outside of the studio—mostly because all of the instruments were in there—and when there was music playing in the main house, it was usually Julie playing something with Carlos or Flynn, and now that everyone knew about the boys’ existence, Julie had told them they were welcome in the entire house any time.

Ray, too, had extended the same invitation and had even designated the guest bedroom for them.

Why Luke and Reggie never thought of using that bed and room—with a door that actually locked—when they tried to take their relationship further was beyond him.

So when Alex returned from his daily walk around the neighborhoods they used to live in, to see the things that’d changed, and had heard music drifting from Julie’s room, he hadn’t thought twice about poofing up there to see how she was doing and what song she was playing.

He hadn’t expected to find Reggie, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of Julie’s bed with Luke’s acoustic guitar in his lap, songbook open on the floor in front of him.

He was singing.

Alex… Alex couldn’t remember the last time he had Reggie sing something more than a single line or a short verse by himself. His eye strayed back towards the songbook and he found, similarly, that he couldn’t remember the last time Reggie had let him see the pages of the songbook.

Of course, Reggie always shared his country songs, let him and Luke make fun of them good-naturedly.

Alex had known, though, that Reggie wrote actual, serious songs too, that the songbook was filled with songs about his parents and Alex himself, and Luke and Bobby and everything Reggie had ever had to deal with in his entire life.

Reggie had always been a lot less… open about those songs.

Maybe, Alex mused as he listened to Reggie sing, with good reason. Emotion oozed from every word he sang, and Alex could honestly say he’d never heard Reggie sound like this.

Like… like his every emotion was laid bare for everyone to see and hear.

“…tired of all the will they, won’t they romance,” Reggie sang softly, quietly, voice thick with emotion, like he was on the verge of tears, “When you hold my hand, is it just by chance?”

There was a melancholy to the words… an unbearable sadness that Alex could barely stomach from anyone, but even less so from Reggie. He loved Reggie, in a different way than he had almost a year—or twenty-six—ago, when they’d still been together, when he’d still been hopeful that their connection was strong enough to last.

Before he’d realized Luke was in love with Reggie too and he didn’t stand a chance.

“Maybe this love is mad,” Reggie continued, still oblivious to Alex’s presence. “You’re filling every thought I have.”

Those words hit Alex harder, knocking the breath from his lungs. Reggie hadn’t ever been in love with anyone but Luke, not even Alex, and while he’d known that, it was still confronting to hear. He hadn’t known, even back then, that Reggie was suffering this much from his—then—unrequited crush on Luke and he hated that he hadn’t seen it.

They’d spent years together, spent months actually dating, actually giving their feelings for one another a real chance, and Alex had missed this.

How had he missed this?

“You’ll never know what you mean to me, ‘cause I won’t say,” Reggie very nearly whispered, “and you won’t ask me.”

And… and Alex should say something, should do something to let Reggie know he was there.

This was so incredibly private, and Reggie hadn’t chosen to share this with Alex, hadn’t consented to this—this was Reggie’s soul, his heart, laid bare in a way he’d never allowed Alex to see before, not even when they had been at their most intimate.

Before he could say anything, do anything, though, Reggie continued singing.

“Yeah, will we, or won't we?” Reggie’s voice was so soft, it was nearly inaudible now, and he really was very nearly crying. Alex itched to hold him, to hug him until Reggie would smile again, but he was frozen where he stood. “He said, "I don't love you, I'm sorry. I just didn’t want to be lonely”.”

Reggie’s voice broke on the last word, and Alex acted on instinct, dropping to his knees beside Reggie. “Reg,” he choked, reaching out for his best friend, who jumped at the sound of his voice, dropping the guitar with a clang, kicking the songbook halfway across the room in surprise.

“Alex,” Reggie exclaimed, eyes wide with shock and a tinge of apprehension. “What the hell! How—how long—when—when did you come in?”

“A minute or so ago,” Alex admitted, ducking his head down and rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. “I think I just caught that last verse.” He swallowed thickly, uncomfortably and said, “It was beautiful, Reg.” He then forced a smile and added, “Besides, don’t worry. I knew you were probably writing Luke soppy love songs back when we were dating.”

Reggie blinked at him. “You—I didn’t—I didn’t write that for Luke, Alex.”

Alex… felt instantly wrongfooted.

Reggie hadn’t… he hadn’t been in love with anyone but Luke. He’d dated Ella for a couple of months and while he’d been pretty upset when they’d broken up, Reggie had later told Alex it’d been more about being afraid no one would like him than being sad about losing her.

So… so if it wasn’t Ella, and it wasn’t Luke, then… then…

He pretended his voice wasn’t shaking as he asked, “Who else would you have been writing sad, soppy love songs for, Reggie?”

Reggie gaped at him. “Alex. Alex, you—tell me you’re kidding.”

“Reg,” Alex whispered, reaching out towards his friend, but Reggie shook his head, backing away and getting to his feet. Alex inhaled sharply and got to his feet again too. “Reg, please, I—”

“You! Alex, I wrote the song for you,” Reggie interrupted in a rush of words, cheeks flushed and his eyes downcast. “Back when we were… when we were together. I was gonna play it for you on your birthday, but then you… you said it wasn’t working, and we broke up, and I never showed you.”

“Oh,” Alex choked, stumbling back a step.

He hadn’t… he hadn’t really expected that, even though he probably should have.

It didn’t make sense though, because he’d been so sure that Reggie’s feelings for him weren’t like that, that Reggie loved Luke the entire time he’d been with Alex that—that he couldn’t—he couldn’t process this, couldn’t make it fit with what he’d known to be true since the day he said yes to dating a boy who was already in love with someone else.

“I—Reg—I didn’t—why didn’t—” Alex stuttered, trying hard to make the words come out right, but his lips and tongue and mouth were working against him, and he couldn’t—

“Because!” Reggie exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “Because you asked me to let it go. Because you told me that you were done, that it wasn’t working anymore. I know where I’m not wanted, ‘lex—I wasn’t going to push for something you didn’t want.”

Alex felt like Reggie had punched him in the solar plexus, knocking the air from his lungs. “Reg,” he breathed, shaken. “Reg, that wasn’t—you were—of course, I wanted you.” He stepped forward and caught Reggie by the shoulders, keeping one hand on Reggie’s shoulder and the other on his cheek. “Reg, it was never about whether I wanted you.”

Reggie looked at him with confused, wide green eyes, lips parted a little, raising his own hands to curl around Alex’s wrists and Alex realized, suddenly, abruptly, that he hadn’t been this physically close to Reggie since… since the last night they’d spent together after they’d broken up.

“What does that mean?” Reggie demanded quietly, insistently.

Alex exhaled shakily and dropped his hands from Reggie’s cheek and shoulder, turning to sit on the edge of Julie’s bed. Reggie stayed on his feet for a moment longer, staring at Alex with an indecipherable expression before he sat down next to Alex. “Reg, I wanted you so much,” Alex admitted, reaching out to take one of Reggie’s hands between both of his. He’d never really put this into words before, hadn’t ever even considered putting it into words and telling Reggie, but… But Reggie did deserve to know why Alex had chosen to break up with him.

“But—” he tried, “but… you were still in love with Luke, even after… after we’d been really together for almost a year, and then I figured out Luke was in love with you too, and—God, Reg, I never wanted to be in the way of that.”

“Luke didn’t tell you how he felt about me until after we broke up,” Reggie interjected quietly, and when Alex managed to look up at him, Reggie mostly looked confused. “He told me.”

Alex nodded shakily. “I know. I knew, though,” he whispered. “I saw the way he looked at you, the way he couldn’t keep his eyes off you, the way he’d look away when he thought you would see, the way he’d blush when you hugged him.” He sighed, swallowing thickly, and looked down at their hands. “And I saw the way you looked back—even if you didn’t mean to.”

He looked up at Reggie again, at green, watery and wide with surprise. “You never looked at me the way you looked at him and I wanted that. I wanted someone who’d look at me the way you looked at him. I wanted someone who’d pick me, and Reg—”

“Who said I wouldn’t have picked you?” Reggie interrupted quietly, shakily, and when Alex looked up at him, Reggie was looking at him like… like…

“Reg,” he said desperately. “Come on. Don’t be… don’t be cruel, okay, I can handle—”

“I was in love with you,” Reggie blurted, a blush high on his cheeks, the corners of his mouth turned down just a little and a frown on his forehead. “I’m not gonna say that I wasn’t still in love with Luke too, but Alex, I—I loved you. And I thought—I thought that you just didn’t feel that way, so I got over it because you ended it, and now… now you’re telling me that you broke up with me because youdecided I wouldn’t have picked you if I knew Luke was an option?”

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18 DECEMBER 2020 (3:46 p.m.) LUKE

Luke poofed onto the pier a little before he and Reggie had arranged to meet, rubbing his hands over his thighs nervously. He and Reggie had agreed they could use some time away from the others, time spent with just the two of them—and since they’d never gone on dates while they were alive…

Reggie had suggested the beach and the pier because they’d walked it hundreds of times before and there were always people around, so they’d be able to hold hands and talk and watch other street artists play music and pretend they were a normal couple going on their first actual date.

Luke was looking forward to it, but he had to admit he was a little nervous too, which was…

Ridiculous.

“It’s just Reggie,” he told himself sternly. He’d known Reggie since they were kids, had hung out with him by themselves on countless occasions, had been dating him for months at this point and had been in love with him for ages.

It shouldn’t be this daunting.

Before he could work himself into a tiff, Reggie poofed onto the pier just a few paces from him and Luke’s corny little heart did a little flip in his chest at the sight of him.

“Hey,” he exclaimed happily, bounding towards Reggie and slinging his arms around him as soon as he was within reach. “It looks like there’s a good crowd, and I saw a couple of artists already, so—” He cut himself off when Reggie turned to look at him, green eyes bloodshot and filled with tears, cheeks pale and his lower lip red and swollen, like he’d been chewing on it all day.

“Reg,” Luke breathed, shocked, raising a hand to touch his boyfriend’s cheek lightly. “What’s going on, baby, you look—”

Reggie blinked, like he hadn’t really registered Luke was even there before he’d said something.

Then, “I… I kissed Alex.”

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(Please blame my roommate for the cliffhanger, she said it's where I should end when I let her read it)

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READ IT HERE:

Start from the beginning:

Unfinished Business:

(1) (2) (3)

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

A Song Only You Can Hear

(1) (2) (3)

Or read it HERE (BaMBaT), HERE (UB) OR HERE (ASoYCH) on AO3 :D

#A Song Only You Can Hear #ASOYCH #Bambat #BamBat sequel #ruke #peterpatter #willex #Luke/reggie #Alex/Willie #Alex/reggie (past)#julie and the himbos #julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #my writing #Lisa writes

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