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cuthian · 3 years

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A Song Only You Can Hear Chapter Three

Hi guys!

Next chapter, unbeta'd so far. Any mistakes are mine.

This is the last chapter I had a plan for, and since I still have one more exam, that unfortunately takes precedence before I can get back to planning and writing.

I'll try to get things out soon though!

Thanks for all the lovely feedback, please feed me more <3

Love Annaelle

PS Thanks to all my lovelies on the Discord server for helping me work through this chapter. You know who you are.

THREE

“I stood still, vision blurring, and in that moment, I heard my heart break. It was a small, clean sound, like the snapping of a flower's stem.”

—Diana Galbadon

18 DECEMBER 2020 (3:56 p.m.) LUKE

Luke had written his bandmates countless songs over the years.

He’d written Alex and Reggie cute little bobs when they’d been kids, with easy beats and clumsy lyrics, had written Alex several love songs while they’d dated and dozens of apologies after they’d broken up. He’d written Reggie ballads and love songs, had written him country songs because he knew that Reggie loved those, had written down everything he didn’t know how to say into Crooked Teeth and dozens of unnamed songs, hidden in the back of his songbook.

Listen closely to the songs I play because the lyrics speak the words I fail to say.

Luke couldn’t remember where he’d heard that line, but it described his own thoughts and process so well it stuck with him. It helped him deal with how he saw the world, helped him figure himself out when he got into arguments with his mom, when how he felt about Reggie threatened to entirely overwhelm him—

When the thoughts in his head were entirely too loud.

Since they’d died, since they’d met Julie, since Luke had told Reggie how he felt about him, he hadn’t been as overwhelmed by his own thoughts so much. He hadn’t felt anything akin to that overwhelming storm of emotions since their deaths, but Reggie’s words now fed into that maelstrom mercilessly and Luke felt like he was going to be sick.

Since the day Luke had found out that Reggie and Alex had had a semi-serious relationship when they’d been alive, he’d been a little afraid of what that meant for his own relationship with Reggie.

Not because he didn’t trust them—quite the contrary.

He’d readily believed his friends when they’d assured him that what they’d had was over, of course, and when Reggie had confessed that he was in love with Luke too, Luke had been so stupidly happy that he hadn’t given Reggie and Alex’s previous relationship a second thought.

For a while, it’d even stayed that way.

Alex and Reggie were more open about their past, joked and laughed about it, and while Luke was fine with it, the thought of his current boyfriend and his ex-boyfriend together flustered him more than he liked to admit to anyone—even himself.

It was just a lot.

He’d been very much into Alex, at one point, and while Luke currently had very little desire to find out of Alex still kissed the same way he did when they’d been fifteen, he wasn’t blind either. Alex was pretty damn hot, and Luke didn’t blame Reggie for having seen that at all. And Reggie… Luke was obviously in love with Reggie and very much into everything about the other boy, and Luke…

Luke was not jealous of Alex and Reggie’s past relationship.

…a little too into the aesthetic idea of the two of them together?

Probably.

But he wasn’t jealous.

After all, Luke had dated Alex too, at one point, and it would very hypocritical of him to make an issue out of it while still expecting Reggie to be okay with Luke’s own past relationship with Alex.

He’d not been suspicious about them, their relationship or their continued close friendship at all.

Maybe he should’ve been.

He sat down heavily on the beach, on the sand, leaning his elbows on his knees and digging his hands in his hair, blinking hard at the sand. “Reggie,” he said slowly, his voice hoarse and shaking lightly. “Would you please sit down and talk to me?” He looked up to his boyfriend, who was pacing restlessly in front of him, still pale and shaky and utterly apologetic, and immediately looked back down.

He couldn’t—he couldn’t quite bring himself to look at Reggie without wanting to scream and he had promised himself—and Alex, but he couldn’t quite manage thinking of his friend without wanting to scream either—a long time ago that he wouldn’t ever yell at Reggie if he could help it and he wasn’t going to start now.

However justified he might be.

Reggie let out a shuddering breath and paced one more round before he plopped down in the sand in front of Luke, the tips of his boots nudging lightly against the nose of Luke’s worn sneakers.

“Okay,” Luke exhaled. “Okay. What happened?”

He steeled himself before looking up at Reggie, who was looking at him with an expression that bordered between desperate and guilty. “I kissed Alex,” Reggie whispered, and the words hit Luke just as hard as they had the first time, knocking the breath from his lungs and squeezing tightly, painfully, around his heart, and more than upset to hear the words again, he was sad because his best friend and his boyfriend had kissed behind his back and he was angry because something was clearly happening between Reggie and Alex and he’d been left out again and he wanted to know why.

“I heard you the first time,” Luke hissed through gritted teeth. “Why would you—”

“I don’t know,” Reggie exclaimed, eyes wide and filled with tears, “I don’t know, Luke, but I swear—”

“Reginald,” Luke interrupted, his voice trembling with barely suppressed anger—because he was, he was angry that his boyfriend had seen fit to appear on their first date just to tell Luke he’d kissed their best friend, his ex-boyfriend. “Reggie. Baby. I’m trying very hard not to be mad at you and to let you explain, but you’re gonna have to do better than ‘I don’t fucking know’.”

Reggie looked taken aback by his harsh tone and Luke felt a little bad for raising his voice, but he deserved answers. Reggie looked like he was on the verge of bursting into tears but he looked determined too, like he was just as set on providing answers as Luke was to find them.

“I’m not trying to weasel out of anything,” Reggie said, his voice trembling ever so slightly. Luke watched as he pulled the sleeves of his flannel down over his hands, twisting the fabric tightly around his fingers. “I—when we—it’s just… back when we broke up, Alex never really told me why. All he ever said was that he didn’t think it was working anymore, and I—”

He broke off, sucked his lower lip between his teeth, biting down so harshly Luke could see little beads of blood well up—he hadn’t thought they could bleed anymore—and shook his head.

“Reg,” Luke breathed, reaching out before he could stop himself, tugging Reggie lip out from between his teeth gently. Reggie exhaled shakily, leaning into Luke’s touch just a little, eyes fluttering shut for a heartbeat before he leaned back and continued talking.

“I loved him,” he said frankly, honestly, “A lot. And I was so ready to tell all of you about us. But we’d promised, you know, when we first got together, that we’d just tell each other when it wasn’t working anymore, because we never wanted to risk our friendship, and he did, so I did my best to get over it, and I wrote… I wrote a lot of songs.”

“Reg—” Luke whispered quietly, reaching out for Reggie’s hand, because he was still upset but he couldn’t stand to not be touching Reggie anymore.

Reggie offered him a shaky, apologetic smile and twined their fingers together. “Today I was—I was going through my songbook, you know, and I did in Julie’s room, because I didn’t… I wanted to look by myself, and I found… I found a couple of the songs I wrote after… after we broke up.” He breathed in shakily and added, “I hadn’t really looked at them since I wrote them, but now… it didn’t seem so daunting anymore, so I played them.”

Luke exhaled, suddenly flush with understanding. “And Alex heard you.”

“Yeah,” Reggie whispered faintly, before he inhaled sharply and continued, “Alex—Alex walked in, and he heard the song and we… argued, I guess, and we—we talked, I talked and Al—Alex said—”

“Reg, baby,” the endearment fell from his lips before he could stop himself, “You’re rambling. You’re not—you’re not making sense.”

Reggie nodded sharply and closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths. “We argued. And talked,” he repeated. “And Alex told me he broke up with me because he figured out you were in love with me too.”

Luke… Luke didn’t know what to say to that.

He’d never, for a single moment, even considered that a possibility. “He did what?” He breathed, shocked.

“Yeah,” Reggie choked, shaking his head, and Luke could feel the way his fingers trembled between his own. “Yeah, he… he said that—that I would never have picked him if I knew you were an option, and I hate that he took that choice away from me, because I loved him.” He looked back up at Luke with teary eyes and admitted, “I love you, so much, Luke, but I think I loved him first, before I even knew I did. But then he broke up with me and I—I put it out of my mind.”

And for the first time since Reggie appeared in front of him tonight, Luke felt like he… he understood what had happened between his two best friends—between his boyfriend and his ex-boyfriend. “And Alex telling you everything brought all of that back,” he sighed. “Everything you felt back then.”

Reggie’s lower lip trembled as he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah. And I guess I—I kissed him because I wanted to know—I needed to know—”

“If you still love him,” Luke finished.

Reggie gave him a pained, guilty look. “Yes. And no. I—I’m always going to love Alex. He’s Alex. I don’t know how to not love him. But it’s… it’s different now. It’s not like that anymore, not… Not like you. You’re… you’re it, Luke. You’re the Jim to my Freddy. Luke to my Han. I fucking adore you. And I’m so, so sorry for doing this, for…” Reggie shook his head, blinking away tears. “… I’m sorry for hurting you. I never meant to.”

Luke swallowed thickly and looked away.

“I know,” he muttered. “I know, Reg. I just… I think that before you and I can talk about this any further, you and Alex need to. There’s… there’s clearly a lot of things unsaid between the two of you, and you need to talk about that. Seriously. Hash everything out.” He inhaled deeply and looked up, trying to ignore the way his own eyes burned too, and whispered, “I’m giving you a carte blanche for that. To do whatever you have to, just… figure yourselves out. And then I think all of us—you, me, Alex, Willie… we need to talk about it too.”

He squeezed his fingers around Reggie’s. “I think we’ve been putting this off way too long already.”

“Luke…”

Luke huffed a little in surprise when Reggie threw himself forward into Luke’s arms, ducking to bury his face against Luke’s neck, slipping his arms around his torso to hug him close. “I love you so, so much,” Reggie muttered. “And I’m sorry.”

Luke let himself have this, have this tight, warm hug, for a couple of seconds before he pushed Reggie back a little so he could look at him. “I love you too, Reg, you know that.” Reggie pouted at him, but he leaned into Luke’s touch when he tracked his fingers through Reggie’s hair nonetheless.

“I’m hurt,” Luke told him quietly, his eyes burning with tears. “But I love you. And I love Alex. I want you both to be okay.” He leaned in to lean his forehead against Reggie’s, brushing the tips of their noses together, breathing him in, feeling him while he could.

“Thank you,” Reggie breathed, eyes shut and fingers tight on Luke’s sides, and God help him, but Luke was pretty sure he’d let Reggie shatter his heart into a million little pieces as long as it made Reggie happy, as long as it made him smile.

He hugged his arms tighter around his boyfriend and tucked his face against Reggie’s shoulder.

They’d figure this out.

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18 DECEMBER 2020 (4:29 p.m.) JULIE

“Julie,” Flynn told her seriously, holding Julie’s face in her hands so she couldn’t look away, “sweetie. They’re never going to give us openly queer characters in major Hollywood productions. Third Wonder Woman movie or not, they’re just going to keep focusing on her romance with Steve.” She pouted severely, and Julie knew she was trying to convey just how much agony the thought caused her, but all the expression really did was make Julie want to kiss her ridiculous girlfriend.

“Flynn,” she chuckled, “I know they’ve been shitty about LGBT+ characters in the past, but it’s been getting better! There’s more and more openly queer characters in books and television shows every day, it’s only a matter of time before they’ll be on the big screen too.”

Flynn grumbled at her and dropped her hands, but she still smiled and kissed back when Julie leaned in to press their lips together. “You’re too hopeful for this world,” Flynn groused as she settled back against the large pillow she’d propped up against the armrest of the couch. “They’re going to make her straight, you’ll see. She had a relationship with a guy, they’re never coming back from that.”

“Excuse you,” Julie gaped, tossing a smaller pillow at Flynn in indignation. “Bisexuality is a thing!”

“I grew up with you,” Flynn snorted, throwing her pillow back. “I’m dating you. How I could forget?”

She stuck out her tongue and Julie really had no choice but to retaliate, because they may be dating and in love and Julie was very much invested in making sure Flynn remained attracted to her, but they’d also known each other since they were three.

They were allowed to weird and childish to each other. It was part of the fun.

Of course, it was just as much part of the fun when Flynn crawled across the length of the couch and wedged herself between the back of the couch and Julie, tangling their fingers together as she lay her head on Julie’s shoulder. “We should do this more often,” Flynn said quietly after a couple of seconds, sliding closer still, her knee knocking against Julie’s as she shifted.

“Do what more often?” Julie frowned, glancing from the television, playing a random Golden Girls episode, to her girlfriend.

“This,” Flynn repeated, gesturing lazily at their entwined limbs. “Cuddle, talk, have a date night with just the two of us. Without the guys. They’re always around,” she pouted, trailing her fingers up and down Julie’s arm, sending a pleasant shiver down the length of Julie’s spine. When she abruptly stopped, fingers hovering just over Julie’s elbow, it took Julie a second to stop herself from whining out loud, and an incredulous glance towards Flynn, who was squinting suspiciously at the rest of the room.

“They’re not here now, are they?” Flynn demanded.

Julie grinned and pushed one of Flynn’s braids behind her ear. “No,” she said. “I would’ve told you if they were. I think Reggie’s up in my room—he wanted some privacy to look through his songs before his date with Luke, and Alex had a date with Willie, I think.”

“What about Luke?” Flynn asked, settling back against Julie’s shoulder, turning her head so that her lips grazed against Julie’s throat.

“I don’t know,” Julie exhaled. “Probably visiting his parents or pacing the pier until it’s time for his date with Reggie. He was really nervous about it.” She chuckled at the memory of Luke poofing into her room, wide-eyed and panicked, demanding she tell him how to behave on a date with his best friend.

“Oh,” Flynn hummed, rolling her eyes a little as she resumed the soft, rhythmic strokes of her fingers on Julie’s arm. “Poor guy. Imagine not knowing how to talk to your best friend while you’re on a date.” She fell silent for a second and then asked, “I thought they’d been dating since we found Maggie? How have they managed to avoid going on a date for three months?”

Julie snorted a laugh. “Apparently they’ve been too busy doing other things to actually go on a date.”

Flynn wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “Boys.”

“You brought them up,” Julie laughed, giggling when Flynn grumped and then tugged her closer for a soft, lazy, chaste kiss—her dad and Carlos were in the other room, after all. Julie hummed contently into the kiss and draped her arms around Flynn, pressing more firmly into their embrace. “I did miss this,” she breathed against Flynn’s lips, barely allowing herself the luxury of pulling away to actually saythe words. “Let’s not go so long without spending time alone together again.”

Flynn giggled in response and tangled her fingers in Julie’s hair. “Agreed,” she replied breathily, before leaning back in and taking Julie’s lips in a breathtaking kiss again.

Julie sank into it, relishing in the fact she didn’t have to worry about her dad and little brother walking in and interrupting them. Her parents had always been very respectful of her relationship with Flynn, had always taken it seriously and had always afforded them a level of trust that most teenagers were not given so easily.

She grinned against Flynn’s lips, and when the kiss broke, she breathed in deeply, giggling when Flynn nudged their noses together playfully. “We should go out too,” Flynn said. “On an actual date. We haven’t done that in forever.”

Julie hummed. “True. We could go see a movie, get sushi, people watch for a while, rate their outfits.”

Flynn nodded and leaned in to peck her lips again, tightening her fingers in Julie’s hair a little as they kissed. “Sounds perfect,” Flynn whispered.

Julie was just leaning in to kiss Flynn again when she heard the soft, subtle poof of a ghost appearing in the room and looked up, ready to tell whichever of the boys interrupted them off, and then froze when she realized it was Willie. Willie never came into the house without Alex or Reggie or Luke, and he certainly never poofed in unannounced.

He looked… he looked a little spooked, honestly, eyes wide and confused and lips parted in what looked like shock, and a thrill of alarm ran down Julie’s spine immediately. “Willie?” she said, sitting up and pushing Flynn off softly. “Are you okay?”

Flynn made a concerned sound and Julie flashed her a quick, hopefully reassuring, smile before turning back to Willie, who had now turned his wide, surprised eyes on her. “Shoot, I’m sorry,” Willie blurted, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to poof in here, my aim—my aim must’ve been off. I was—I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Julie said soothingly, because Willie seemed extremely wired and it was very unlike him. “Were you looking for Alex?”

Willie blinked rapidly a couple of times and Julie noticed him shoot a nervous glance up to the ceiling. “Uh,” he said hoarsely, “Yeah. Yes, I—I think he and Reggie are busy talking though, and I—I didn’t want to interrupt, to bother them, so I… uh—I’ll just… I’ll come back later.”

“Alex is up there with Reggie?” Julie frowned, glancing towards the ceiling too. “I thought he was with you. Didn’t you guys have a date planned?”

Willie exhaled shakily. “Uh, yeah, I was late, I was late, I was at the Club and I heard—” he broke off, and his expression flitted through several emotions so fast that Julie couldn’t even make out half of them before he settled on worried. “Shit, I—I heard something, and I need to tell the guys, I can’t—shit, I can’t let this wait.”

“Uh,” Julie frowned. “Okay. How about I go up and get Reggie and Alex, and you poof down to the studio. Luke’s probably there, and I’ll come down with the other two, and you can tell us what you overheard, okay?”

Willie nodded shakily and smiled, “Okay. Thanks, Julie.” He poofed out before she could say anything else, and she turned to Flynn with a slight grimace.

Flynn smiled tightly. “Ghost emergency?”

“Yeah,” Julie sighed. “I’m sorry. Willie seemed really shook up, I don’t think it’s a good idea to ask him to postpone whatever this talk is.”

Flynn raised a hand and stroked her cheek gently, offering a kind smile. “It’s fine. Do what you have to.”

Julie exhaled in relief and leaned in to press a brief kiss to Flynn’s lips before getting to her feet and hurrying up to her bedroom to find two of her wayward ghosts. She wasn’t sure what was going on, why Willie was so shook up—whether it was Alex and Reggie’s conversation or whatever he’d overheard at the Ghost Club—but she was going to find out.

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18 DECEMBER 2020 (4:31 p.m.) ALEX

Alex sat frozen on the edge of Julie’s bed, staring at the far wall in a daze.

He could still feel the imprint of Reggie’s lips on his, could still taste that damn chapstick Reggie used to wear when they were alive because his lips were perpetually dry and split and the most prominent thought in his head was that Reggie still kissed the same way he had when they were alive and—and—

He just kissed his ex-boyfriend.

Or… got kissed by his ex-boyfriend. Who was also his best friend’s boyfriend.

Reggie had written him songs, had wanted to tell everyone about their relationship, had told Alex that he’d loved him and Alex—Alex would’ve kissed him if Reggie hadn’t moved first.

What the hell was he supposed to do with that?

Reggie—Reggie had a boyfriend, who was Alex’s best friend, for God’s sake. Reggie loved Luke and Alex knew that he did. Alex had a boyfriend—a boyfriend he loved, and Christ, how was he supposed to tell Willie about this? How the hell was he going to explain all of this? He’d promised Willie there wasn’t anything to worry about because he and Reggie had been broken up for months even before they’d died.

God, what if Willie hated him for this? For not recognizing that he’d broken up with Reggie for the wrong reasons, for not recognizing that he should’ve talked to Reggie about this ages ago, before Luke and Willie were also involved, before he broke Reggie’s heart all over again—

Crap, what the hell was he supposed to do now?

The thought of trying to talk to Willie or Reggie or Luke left him breathless in a way he hadn’t been since he’d died, since death had cured him of asthma or anxiety-induced panic attacks, and his head was spinning. His breath was wheezing in his lungs even as he tried to remember the counting system he’d used when this happened when he was alive, and his breathing was way too fast and he was getting lightheaded and he didn’t know if ghosts could faint but he had a vague idea he was about to find out.

“Alex?”

His head snapped up and suddenly Luke and Reggie were standing in front of him and that—that would just make things worse, wouldn’t it? He was almost afraid to look at Luke, to see the anger and hurt on his best friend’s face, hurt that Alex caused—

“Hey, hey, come on, man,” someone was kneeling in front of him, but his vision was a little blurry and he still wasn’t breathing quite right. “’Lex, listen to me,” and that was Reggie for sure, “I’m going to count, and you’re going to match your breath to it, okay? Just like we used to when this happened before.” He could feel Reggie’s hand on his chest and Luke leaning against his side, warm and solid and soothing in a way Alex didn’t deserve.

“One,” Reggie started, voice calm and soothing, “Two, three, four—”

Alex’s breath slowed more easily than it ever had when they were alive, and he didn’t know if it was because he was dead or because both Reggie and Luke were here and their presence was comforting even with how messy things were between the three of them.

Before long, the world stopped spinning around him and he felt a lot less like he was going to choke on thin air—if he even could anymore.

He wasn’t sure how long they sat like that, Reggie kneeling in front of him and counting quietly under his breath, hand pressed to Alex’s chest, and Luke sitting next to him, their shoulders pressed together and Luke’s fingers curled around his wrist, thumb rubbing soothingly over the inside of his wrist like he’d done hundreds of times when they’d been alive.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, words slipping from him before he could think about them. “Luke, I—”

Luke didn’t say anything for a moment, and Alex focused on Reggie, who looked like he’d been crying the entire time he’d been gone. Luke exhaled shakily, tightening his fingers around Alex’s wrist before he said, “I’m not… I’m not exactly happy with either of you right now, but… but I do understand that you need to figure this out.”

Before Alex could even begin to process what that meant, the door flung open and Julie spilled inside, looking a little frazzled. “Good,” she exclaimed, “You’re all here. Come on, we have to go to the studio.”

“Jules,” Luke said quietly, “We’re kind of in the middle of something.”

“It’ll have to wait,” Julie shrugged. “Willie’s waiting for us in the studio. Apparently he overheard something at the Ghost Club and came here to tell you right away.” She bit her lower lip and added, “He looked very frazzled, Alex. We should see what’s going on.”

Alex exchanged a glance with Luke and Reggie and then nodded.

This thing between them had waited a year—or twenty-six—already.

It would keep a few hours more.

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READ IT HERE:

Start from the beginning:

Unfinished Business:

(1) (2) (3)

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

A Song Only You Can Hear

(1) (2) (3)

Or read it HERE (BaMBaT), HERE (UB) OR HERE (ASoYCH) on AO3 :D

#A Song Only You Can Hear #ASOYCH #BamBat sequel #bambat #ruke #peterpatter #willex #Luke/reggie #Alex/reggie (past)#julie and the himbos #julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #Lisa writes #my writing

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toddcowardd · 7 years

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okay so here’s all my thoughts about the wgameplay videos !!!!

The Opening Mission:

It’s not a real Machinegames Wolfenstein game if Blazko isn’t jolted awake at the very beginning

gggggod this gameplay looks so good

and so hard

my weenie ass is gunna spend like five hours alone trying to complete this level

on easy

I love the traps Set made!!! its going to make it much more interesting to play

like this already looks SO MUCH better than the first level of TNO

BJ and Anya in invented love SO KNOW THIS!!!

i love them so much aaahhh

they’re reunion was so short :’(

Im so happy Bambate is back! I was worried they were just going to kill him off and just add in a new character

im still worried about this tbh but like worried it'll happen later in the game

also really happy to see Max is still alive too

AND GOSH I CANT WAIT TO KILL ENGEL

IF SHE LIVES TO SEE THE NEXT GAME IM SUING!!!!!!!

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Bad boy with a gun ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Have I ever mentioned that i love Fergus Reid???

He looks good this game too fuck

when he screams “Don’t you fucking touch her!” at the supersoldaten that is punching the power suit off Caroline is a direct call back to him screaming “Dont you fucking touch him!” at Deathshead when he was looking at Wyatt in TNO AND IM NOT OKAY!

FUCKING CAN’T WAIT TO KILL ENGEL

I kinda feel bad for Sigrun

i feel like were going to get a Sigrun redemption arch tbh

“Gross stuff in your diary” does that mean,..,. gay?

She tried to make Engel spare Caroline and Fergus :’)

Blazko just sounds so defeated when he’s talking to Set and Anya about going up

somebody help my dad :(

Caroline saying its all her fault has me sobbing :’(

I love Caroline sm !!! I’m not looking forward to seeing what Engel does to her!!!

The video cuts off right before that bad shit happens but i can only assume what happens next

Roswell:

GRACE

I LOVE HER ALREADY O M G

Blazko in the Power Armor, this does not bode well with me :’)

Caroline is probably dead and fuck im sad

holding out hope that Caroline is just out in their medbay sleeping :’)

WYATT

MY BEAUTIFUL BOY

MY SWEET HUSBAND

IDK WHAT HES DOING HERE BUT IT LOOKS IMPORTANT

THAT SWEATERS SINGLE HANDEDLY KILLED ME

Aw Max!!!!

he still has his toys very good!!

Wyatt is like a brother to him I die tbh

Wyatt using all this slang is so embarrassing yet so wonderful

Y E A H B A B Y

Hes the Acid Stepdad friend now

but why is he like this tho

i mean i know its bc hes the force of enthusiasm but like is he hiding something bad and playing it off like hes not??? is he trying to impress someone and seem cool or something???? w h y???

I’m already prepping for the secondhand embarrassment hes most likely gunna give me if he does this the whole game

i wanna know if hes gunna cuss tho

Sigrun is one their side!!!!

kinda with Grace tho, I don’t fully trust her yet

GOD THIS WORLD BUILDING

so much detailing!!!

Also, can I just say Roswell being a location makes me so happy!

bc its not just all Big™ Popular™ American™ Cities™ being shown and Roswell is super cool especially with the UFO shit

the npc dialogue!!

they really are going there!! pulling no punches!!!

I fucking hate Kommandant Milkshake

Speshie is already iconic

but he loses points from me bc he pronounces Nevada wrong

ANYWAYS I mean if we arent gunna have aliens, then an alien conspiracy theorist is the next best option

I love that Blazko doesn’t have the heart to tell him its not aliens but, really Da'at Yichud technology

I wish my dad and i would be secret alien conspiracy theorists together when i was a kid fuck

Again this gameplay looks steller !!

i love the double gun use

THOSE MOTORCYCLES ARE INSANE WTF

#tnc spoilers #IM READY FOR THIS GAME!!!!!

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atifparvaiz000 · 5 years

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Fake bank accounts case: accused to be produced before court today

ISLAMABAD: National Accountability Bureau (NAB) officials will present Shabir Bambat and Jabbar Memon before an accountability court of Judge Muhammad Bashir, in fake bank accounts case, ARY News reported on Tuesday.

Both were taken into custody by the anti-graft watchdog body from Karachi, on Sunday night.

The suspects are accused of causing eight billion loss to the national exchequer,…

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gomtiagencies · 6 years

Video

Sirbtullah Bambat, -जश्‍न-ए-ज़िन्दा दिलां,Jashn-E-Zinda Dilan Mushaira-Dubai

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bengtoswin · 7 years

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Gubbelunn är namnet på en gård här i närheten, men om jag säger att filmen “Under solen” till stora delar är inspelad där, liksom delar “100-åringen” och “Ack Värmland”, så tror jag nog de flesta vet.

Men innan gården blev en plats i filmer, så bodde där en man vid namn Gottfrid. Enl många var Gottfrid en “surmulen” man men något jag aldrig märke av. Han var bror till min bambatant, men det viktigaste, han var en fantastisk träsnidare.

Bygdegårdsföreningen här samlade in många av hans arbeten för att förevisa för oss både närboende och långväga gäster.

Tyvärr hann han aldrig slutföra spinnrocken som vi beställde, så vi har inga egna saker från honom, men, man kan alltid beundra det han skapade.

Gubbelunn (Gubbelunden) Gubbelunn är namnet på en gård här i närheten, men om jag säger att filmen "Under solen" till stora delar är inspelad där, liksom delar "100-åringen" och "Ack Värmland", så tror jag nog de flesta vet.

#blogg100 #Gottfrid #Gubbelunden #träsniderier

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cuthian · 3 years

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Alex and Reggie share a kiss in chapter one of Unfinished Business.

READ IT HERE:

Start from the beginning:

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

Unfinished Business:

(1) (2)

Or read it HERE (BaMBaT) or HERE (UB) on AO3 :D

#Lisa draws #AlexReggie #ReggieAlex #jatp #julie and the phantoms #Unfinished Business #BaMBaT #Lisa writes

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cuthian · 3 years

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Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure Chapter One

Hi everyone

New to the fandom, so please, be kind :D

I aged up everyone by two years for plot related purposes. I wanted the boys just a little older, so they were nineteen when they died, Julie is now seventeen.

I have no idea when I'll have more chapters for you, but I'll try to get it out as soon as I can! :D

Lots of Love, Annaelle

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure

“When Someone You Love Becomes a Memory, the Memory Becomes a Treasure.” —unknown author

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ONE

“Blessed Are Those Who Mourn, For They Will Be Comforted.”

—Matthew 5:4

JULIE

“You sure you want me to do this?”

Julie glanced at Reggie, who was bouncing up and down on his toes beside her, looking at the apartment door in front of them with a mix of breathless excitement and trepidation.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Yeah, I wanna see her, I wanna know.”

Julie smiled lightly and barely resisted the urge to pat him on the arm. The last thing they needed was Reggie becoming temporarily corporeal when she was about to knock on his little sister’s door. “Okay,” she nodded, turning back towards the door. “Okay.”

She’s rehearsed what to say a million times since they’d found out Reggie’s little sister still lived in L.A. from Luke’s mom, since Reggie had begged her to give her the same kind of closure she’d helped Luke and his parents find.

She’d always been a little weak for Luke’s puppy eyes, but she hadn’t been prepared for Reggie’s.

Especially when the other boys had backed him up—they’d all known and babysat Reggie’s little sister. They all wanted to know what she was like as an adult; she’d been only nine when the boys had died.

Reggie had no idea what’d happened to their parents, no idea how they’d have reacted to their estranged kid dying at seventeen, no idea if they’d transferred their aggression from him to Maggie, and he needed to know. He needed to know she was okay.

He’d insisted on coming alone with Julie—hadn’t even let Luke come along.

Julie was pretty sure Luke had been as surprised as she was, but neither of them had fought him on it. Probably because Alex had sworn he’d sit on Luke to keep him where he was.

“I’m gonna knock,” Reggie said breathlessly, holding his hand up to the door, freezing less than an inch before his knuckles made contact with the wood. “I am.”

“Go on,” Julie told him kindly. “You can do it.”

“Right,” Reggie breathed. “Right.”

The sound of his knuckles rapping on the wooden door echoed through the hallway, and she could hear footsteps on the other side of the door, and Julie felt almost as nervous as Reggie undoubtedly did.

She could hear Reggie suck in a breath he didn’t need and hold it when the door swung open.

The woman on the other side of the door didn’t look anything like Reggie, and it kind of threw her. “Uh,” she said, blinking at the tall, dark-skinned woman in surprise. “Hi. My name’s Julie; I’m looking for Maggie? Peters?”

“Oh, sure,” the woman said, stepping to the side and holding the door open. “Come on in, I’ll get her.” She walked inside without waiting for an answer and Julie and Reggie exchanged a wary look before following her inside. “You one of her new artists?” The woman called out over her shoulder as she walked further into the apartment.

“Uh, no, I—” Julie began, but before she could continue, a second woman walked into the room and Reggie gasped sharply beside her.

And this… this had to be Maggie.

She and Reggie didn’t look a lot alike, but there were definitely similarities. They had the same kind of glossy dark hair—although hers was much longer than Reggie’s—with light, green eyes, and when Maggie smiled at the other woman, Julie recognized the tilt of her lips, because she’d seen it on Reggie’s so many times before.

“I didn’t know we had company,” Maggie told the other woman, slipping her arm around her waist and leaning in to peck her cheek. Reggie gasped again, but Julie couldn’t risk looking at him now.

“This is Julie,” the other woman said. “She said she’s here to see you.”

Maggie turned to her, smiling the smile that made her look so much like Reggie it almost hurt, and said, “Well, what can I do for you, Julie?”

“Uh,” Julie said again. “I, uh… Did you used to have a brother named Reggie?”

That, evidently, took Maggie by surprise. “Yeah,” she nodded eventually. “I do—I did. How did you—”

“I live in the house where he and the band used to practice,” Julie said, repeating the same half-truth she had told Luke’s parents. “Some of their things were still there, so… I went through it, and I found…” she pulled the little bracelet with cheap plastic beads and several instrument charms from her pocket. “I found Luke’s parents pretty easily, and they told me about other family members, and I thought you might like to have it back.”

Maggie’s eyes were wide and filled with tears as she stared at the tiny bracelet—Reggie had told her he’d made it for Maggie’s ninth birthday, that they’d all made it, because she loved listening to them play, loved telling people that her big brother was in a band, and that Maggie had given it to him for their big performance at the Orpheum, as a good luck charm.

He’d forgotten it in the garage when they’d left for the Orpheum.

Reggie, now standing a few steps closer to his sister, was watching her eagerly, almost hungrily, his eyes red with unshed tears even as she stepped towards Julie, hand outstretched for the bracelet.

“I’d forgotten,” she whispered. “I forgot he had this.”

The bracelet looked tiny in her hand, clearly meant to fit a child’s wrist.

“Tell her I love her,” Reggie rasped, and when he turned to look at Julie, she saw that tears were running down his cheeks. “I don’t care how, just make it up, just please. Tell her I love her.”

Julie nodded jerkily, hoping the other two women in the room hadn’t noticed, and said quietly, “He must’ve loved you a lot. I mean,” she hesitated when Maggie looked up with eyes as teary as her brother’s, “I found a couple of songs too, and I could tell they were written for a kid, so I assumed…”

Before Maggie could respond, a high-pitched cry rang out from one of the rooms in the back of the apartment and both women turned to look at the door in sync.

“Babe,” Maggie said in a shaking voice. “Please go check on Reg, I need—”

“Yeah,” the other woman said immediately, running her hand down Maggie’s side in a tender, comforting gesture. “Yeah, of course.” She glanced towards Julie with an unreadable look before turning and disappearing through one of the doors at the other end of the room. The cries—a baby’s cries, Julie realized belatedly—ceased a moment later, and she could vaguely hear humming.

“You named your baby Reggie?” she blurted without thinking, without really stopping to think that this was a woman she didn’t know at all.

She ignored Reggie’s stunned, “I’m an uncle?” and focused on Maggie, who still wasn’t looking at her.

“Regina,” Maggie replied without really taking her eyes off the bracelet in her hand. “Although we end up calling her Reggie more often than not, so I guess, yeah.” She snorted a rather wet laugh and added, “I don’t think he’d ever have forgiven me if I named my kid Reginald. He would have hated it.”

“I would’ve,” Reggie said wetly, wiping his hand across his face. “I really would’ve.”

“I think it’s beautiful,” Julie whispered. “That you’re remembering him like this.”

Maggie looked up at her again, a little oddly, and now that Reggie was standing right next to her, Julie was struck for the first time just how much they did actually look alike. “I’m sorry,” Julie said, “I know that was—out of line, I just…” she shrugged. “I’ve spent so much time in that garage, in the same room that they did, sorting through their things… I feel like I know them.”

It wasn’t a lie, per se.

She did feel like she knew the boys—although the fact that she could talk to their ghosts did help.

Maggie’s expression softened a little. “I get that. Is there—is there a lot? I mean, is there more?”

“Uh,” Julie stuttered, “I mean, yeah. It’s mostly junk though. A bunch of clothes that I was gonna give to Goodwill, notebooks with songs… I gave those to Luke’s parents. Not much else.”

Maggie nodded shakily. “Okay. Well, if you… if you find anything else, can you—”

“Of course,” Julie nodded, pulling out her phone. “Do you want me to add your contact info?”

Maggie nodded and took Julie’s phone, tapping in her contact info while Reggie looked at her with wide eyes. “I don’t wanna go yet,” he pleaded, looking up at Julie desperately. “Keep talking to her. Please.”

Julie took her phone back from Maggie, desperately searching for something to say when her eye fell on a picture hanging in the middle of the wall. It was very clearly the boys, but they were younger than she knew them—younger than they’d been when they died.

It was just the three of them, with a little girl—who Julie assumed was a young Maggie—sitting in the middle, holding a guitar that was very nearly bigger than her. The three boys were clearly all helping her hold it up, and all four of them were grinning at the camera with wide, happy grins. She’d never seen them smile quite like that.

“Is that them?” She asked, gesturing towards the picture.

Maggie looked over her shoulder at the picture before she turned back to smile at Julie. “Yeah. Yeah, when they were... Fifteen, I think. I was five, so yeah. Fifteen.”

Four years before they’d died.

No wonder they looked so young.

They’d barely been more than kids themselves.

“Can you—would it—would it be okay if you told me a little more about them?” She asked quietly, still staring at the photo of her bandmates when they’d been younger.

She was, actually, so busy staring at the picture that she didn’t notice the puzzled look Maggie shot her before she stepped up beside her to look at the picture. Reggie was too busy glancing at every other picture in the room, trying to catch a glimpse of what his little sister’s life had become, to notice the look too. “What do you want to know?” Maggie finally asked.

“Just…” Julie hesitated. “Anything. What were they like?”

Maggie smiled wistfully. “They were thick as thieves. I can’t remember a time that Luke and Alex weren’t there, so… I know they’d been friends since kindergarten. Well, Luke and Reggie at least. I think they met Alex later on, but that was before I was born.”

“We met Alex in third grade,” Reggie piped in. “He beat up a bully for me.”

Julie smiled despite herself.

“They were always singing and making music,” Maggie continued. “Ever since I could remember. And when they formed the band, and Reggie had to babysit me, I’d usually just get to sit and watch them. I never minded.” When Julie looked at her, she saw that tears were running down Maggie’s cheeks again, but she was still smiling a small wistful smile. “I loved watching them practice.”

She suddenly laughed and said, “I had a crush on Alex when I was little. I even asked him to marry me when we were both grown-ups.”

“Awe,” Julie chuckled. “Did he say yes?”

“No,” Maggie smiled, shaking her head lightly. “No, he was really sweet about it though. Told me that he didn’t like girls all that much, but that if he was ever going to like one, it would definitely have been me.” She laughed wetly again and added, offhand, “I caught him and Reggie kissing a little after that, and then my father—” she cut off and shook her head with a sad smile before she whispered, “I definitely had to believe him after all that.”

“What?” Julie blurted, glancing towards Reggie, who looked both flushed and horrified.

“You saw that?” He squeaked, even though he knew his sister couldn’t hear him.

Maggie chuckled. “Yeah, I… it was surprising to me too. I always thought Reggie was a little sweet on Luke, the way they were together, but then…” she shrugged helplessly. “I guess Alex and Reggie spent so much time together that the idea of them makes sense too. It’s one of the things I guess I’ll never really know. I also distinctly remember being devastated to find out that not only did Alex not like girls, he liked my brother instead though.”

“It’s a cute story,” Julie choked, trying her hardest not to turn to Reggie and shout, because how did she not know about this yet?!

“I guess, yeah,” Maggie nodded. “He wrote country songs for me. Luke hated them, but he’d play the ones Reggie wrote for me anyway.”

“He didn’t hate them,” Reggie pouted.

They fell silent, staring at the photo for a minute before the other woman—Maggie’s wife, she assumed—walked into the room, cradling a swaddled baby in her arms. “She won’t settle,” she said, walking up to Maggie with an apologetic smile. “I’m thinking she wants her momma.”

“I’ll leave you to it,” Julie said immediately, although Reggie pouted. “Thank you, for… answering my questions. I know you didn’t have to do that.”

“Thank you,” Maggie said. “For bringing me—just thank you.” She reached out to shake Julie’s hand, pausing in the middle of the handshake with a puzzled expression. “I’m sorry, what did you say your name was again?”

“Julie,” Julie replied. “Julie Molina.”

“Julie,” Maggie repeated. “Thank you, Julie.”

Julie nodded jerkily and smiled before turning and walking out the front door. Reggie followed her, although he could probably have stayed a little longer if he wanted to.

She waited until they were outside before she grabbed Reggie’s jacket and dragged him off into an alley. “What the hell, Reggie? You and Alex? What about Willie? What about Luke?”

Reggie gave her a wide eyed look and sputtered, “Wha—there’s nothing—what about Luke?”

Julie raised an eyebrow at him. “Reggie. You are about as subtle as a brick. I know you’re in love with him.”

“Wha—no–I’m not—” Reggie spluttered, before he heaved a sigh. “Does Luke know?”

“No,” Julie scoffed. “Only ‘cause he’s the only person who’s actually more oblivious than you are.” Reggie blinked at her and she heaved a sigh, letting him go and taking a step back.

“So you and Alex?” She prompted.

Reggie sighed. “It wasn’t… okay, so we didn’t start out as a real serious thing, you know? It was right after Luke and Alex broke up and we kind of just fooled around when we felt like it.” He wrapped his arms around himself and admitted, “We tried dating a few years after we first started fooling around but it didn’t—it didn’t work out.”

He shrugged a little helplessly. “It wasn’t a big deal. I was really happy for him when he met Willie.”

“Wait,” Julie shook her head, “Luke and Alex dated?”

“Oh,” Reggie frowned. “Yeah, for like a year when we were sixteen. It’s how his parents found out he was gay. Or,” he amended, “it’s why he decided to tell them in any case. They decided they were better off friends, but it still took Alex a while to get over it.”

Julie nodded slowly. “There’s so much I don’t know about you guys yet,” she finally said in a small voice.

Reggie presser forward and slung an arm around het shoulders. “That’s ‘cause we’ve known each other for fifteen years, Jules. It’s like we don’t know everything about you and Flynn and Carlos yet.”

He shook her playfully. “Give it some time.”

Julie laughed. “I guess.” They started walking again and she looked up at him, feeling a little apprehensive. “You happy we went to see her?”

“Yeah,” Reggie said slowly. “Definitely. Thanks, Molina.”

Julie grinned and pressed into his side. “No problem.”

This… this she was the least she could do.

-------

Or read it HERE on AO3 :D Find the next chapter HERE on Tumblr :)

#jatp #julie and the himbos #jatp ruke #Luke patterson #julie molina #luke/reggie #BaMBaT #reggie #Alex #Julie and the phantoms

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cuthian · 3 years

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A Song Only You Can Hear Chapter Four

Hey everyone!

Sorry for the wait. I had exams and then I had to figure out my plot line. Please check the updated tags; and feel free to blame PJO_Connoisseur for all of it ;)

A nice long chapter with A LOT of angst. Please prepare.

Some of you will need tissues.

Thanks for reading!

Love Annaelle

P.S. I was too impatient to wait for this to be beta'd completely, so thanks to Juulna for checking grammar and such, and a future thank you to PJO_Connoisseur for when they check it for whether or not everyone is in character.

FOUR

“Maybe a good relationship is just [several] idiots who don’t know a damn thing except the fact that they’re willing to figure it out together.” — Unknown author

18 DECEMBER 2020 (4:36 p.m.) WILLIE

Willie trailed shaking fingers across the cymbals on Alex’s drums and swallowed thickly. He’d been somewhat relieved to find that Luke wasn’t in the studio when he got here, because it gave him the precious few minutes he needed to collect himself, to get his thoughts in order before he’d have to see Alex again.

He didn’t know what he’d poofed in on earlier, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know either.

He knew that Alex and Reggie had dated, but he’d thought it long over. The way Alex had talked about it made it sound like it hadn’t been that serious to begin with, but whatever had happened up in the house today, it’d looked far from casual before Willie had poofed out.

He didn’t think Alex and Reggie had even noticed him.

Willie dropped his hand to his side and sighed. He didn’t want to be suspicious about this, didn’t want to be the kind of boyfriend that got weird around his boyfriend’s ex just because they were still close, because he knew how much Reggie meant to Alex, knew how much Luke meant to Alex and if he was going to feel weird about Reggie, he’d probably start feeling weird about Luke too, and Willie wasn’t that guy.

He really wasn’t.

He trusted Alex and he liked Reggie and Luke both, and he’d never even considered being worried about it before—he’d even joked about it with Reggie before.

And yet… he couldn’t get the image of his boyfriend sitting pressed close to Reggie, one of Reggie’s hands between both of his and their heads bent close together, out of his mind. It’d looked intimate as hell, and even if he hadn’t quite been able to make out their words, he’d still been very reluctant to stick around—hadn’t really wanted to see the way Alex would react when he saw him.

He didn’t want to see the guilty look Alex would undoubtedly have shot his way because it would mean that Willie was right and there wassomething Alex should feel guilty for.

Right now, all he’d seen was his boyfriend having a rather intimate discussion with his best friend.

Right now, that’s all it was.

God. Willie hoped that was all it was.

They had bigger things to worry about. If what he’d overheard at the Ghost Club was even remotely true, Caleb had been after the boys for far longer than any of them had known.

He wasn’t sure what that meant, wasn’t sure why, but he knew it couldn’t wait.

When the door opened and Julie filed in, followed closely by all three of the boys—and he wasn’t sure what to make of that, what to think of Luke having been in the house too, potentially with Alex and Reggie—Willie exhaled in a rush, running trembling hands through his hair before trying to smile at Alex, who was looking at him wide-eyed.

“Hey hot dog,” he tried, but his smile must’ve looked pained because Alex’s expression changed from confused to worried in a heartbeat and before Willie could stop him he was rushing forward, hands soft and gentle when he pressed them to Willie’s cheeks, like nothing was different, like Willie hadn’t seen him with Reggie earlier, like… like everything was the same it’d been yesterday.

“I’m fine,” he told Alex, leaning back enough so that Alex’s hands slipped from his cheeks. “I overheard something at the Club, I—I need you guys to sit down, okay?”

Alex blinked at him with wide, blue eyes, but he backed up obediently, settling on the couch beside Luke, who was pressed close to Reggie, holding Reggie’s hand in a white-knuckled grip and… shit, Willie really didn’t know what was going on anymore.

“So?” Luke said, looking up at Willie defiantly. “What was so urgent?”

Willie blinked a little, taken aback by the harsh tone, but nodded anyway. “I overheard Caleb talking to someone—I don’t know who, I didn’t recognize their voice, but…” he swallowed thickly and wrung his hands together. “They were talking about killing someone. Killing them and making sure they came back as a ghost with… with powers.”

When he looked up, Reggie looked perturbed and confused, Luke’s expression very similar, while Alex looked a little green around the gills. Julie, on the other hand, was frowning impressively at him and demanded, “Did they mention a name? Any way we can find them and maybe warn them?”

“No,” Willie shook his head. “No, not really. Only that it was a man, and that—that ghosts were flocking towards him. Like… like he was a beacon, or something. Not enough to find him. But that’s not—”

“Willie,” Alex said shakily, but Willie shook his head and waved his hand dismissively.

“That’s not it,” he continued. “That’s not the thing I have to tell you guys. It’s—” He hesitated. “They mentioned making sure they didn’t have a repeat from last time… making sure he didn’t disappear for twenty-five years.” He trailed off there, leaving the implication of his words hanging in the air between them and watched as it hit all three of the boys differently.

Luke’s expression went from confused to baffled to furious understanding, and it took Reggie a few seconds of complete confusion before he, too, looked like he understood what Willie was trying to say.

Alex, on the other hand, looked completely unsurprised, as though he’d expected Willie to say something like this, like Caleb arranging their murder was expected rather than baffling, and though he looked nauseous and on the verge of an anxiety attack, he didn’t look as surprised as his two bandmates.

Julie, too, looked far less surprised than Willie would’ve expected.

“That makes sense,” Julie muttered. “That’s why he was so desperately trying to get you guys to join his club,” she told the boys, glancing towards them, “He lost you three once already, arranged for your murder, he couldn’t risk losing you again.”

“He said—” Alex said hoarsely, leaning forward with his elbows planted firmly on his knees, head in his hands, “The guy who killed us—Maggie said he always insisted ghosts made him do it.”

“Oh my God, that’s right,” Reggie breathed, his eyes wide.

“We have to find him,” Julie said reasonably, and Willie looked at her expectantly. “We have to find him and figure out what he knows—see if Caleb or whoever was working for him let anything slip or said anything that might point to why he wanted you guys dead.”

“Maggie knows,” Reggie whispered. “Maggie went to see him once, when she was still trying to figure out what happened to us. She knows where he’s locked up, she knows his name—”

“I’ll call her then,” Julie nodded determinedly. “I’ll call her and explain what we know, explain that we need to find him, so that we can figure out what we’re up against.” When all four boys blinked at her, she heaved a sigh and added, “We need to know why he’s so dead set on having you guys join his stupid little club. If we know why, we can start to figure out how to get him to back off.”

“I don’t know,” Willie said slowly. “Guys, he’s dangerous. He nearly killed you last time. Again.”

“He doesn’t know we’re onto him,” Julie pointed out. “It’s worth a shot.”

Luke nodded slowly. “Okay,” he said, glancing towards both Alex and Reggie before he nodded. “Okay, give Maggie a call; see what she knows about this guy, where we can find him, how we can talk to him.” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and sighed, “Maybe she’d be willing to go with us to see him, since, you know…”

“We’re dead and he killed us,” Alex finished dryly.

Reggie looked like he was going to throw up and Willie could relate.

Now that that immediate crisis was out of the way, all he could focus on was the way Reggie kept darting looks at Alex and Luke, gnawing nervously on his lower lip, the way Alex was fidgeting restlessly and had been the entire time he’d been down here, even before Willie had told him what he’d overheard, the way Luke had planted himself between his own boyfriend and Willie’s and—

And he was probably reading too much into it, seeing things that weren’t really there, because he needed to trust his boyfriend rather than jump to conclusions based on a three-second glimpse of a conversation between two best friends.

“Okay,” he said shakily, “I guess I—I guess that’s all I came here for. I’ll—I’ll go back before I’m missed, or before Caleb realizes I heard something, I don’t want—”

“Do you have to go already?” Alex interrupted, standing up from the couch with a hopeful smile and damn if Willie wasn’t so fucking weak and gay for his handsome drummer boy looking at him like that. He could feel himself give in, could feel himself lean into Alex’s touch when the other ghost rested a hand on Willie’s elbow, letting the drummer steer him away from the rest of the group.

He focused his attention on Alex, who trailed his fingers down Willie’s arm to interlace their fingers.

“So, what’s up, buttercup?” Willie drawled as Alex pulled him towards the little flower nook, settling on the piano bench and smiling up at his boyfriend, because… because he wanted to trust Alex. He hadn’t done anything wrong, as far as Willie knew, and Willie certainly didn’t have any reason to be snippy towards him—being stressed about Caleb’s plotting and the future of the Ghost Club ghosts was no excuse to be an asshole.

“Uh,” Alex said, settling down beside him, fidgeting with Willie’s fingers. “I, uh—I was talking to Reggie earlier—”

“I know,” Willie interrupted quietly, and when Alex looked up, wide-eyed, he added, “I poofed into the house first, heard you talking, but—” He swallowed thickly and looked away, a little afraid to see the look on Alex’s face. “It looked hella intimate, so I poofed right back out, I—I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Oh,” Alex breathed. “You saw us?” And when Willie dared look up, Alex’s expression was one of complete and utter panic, and Willie’s heart sank.

“There was something to see?” he asked faux-casually, even though he felt like he was going to hurl.

“Uh,” Alex stammered, cheeks flushing red as he averted his gaze. “Sort of?” he squeaked, looking up at Willie with an utterly apologetic expression. “It’s—we—I—uh. I kissed Reggie. A little.”

Willie exhaled and squeezed his eyes shut.

Just like he’d thought, then.

“What. The. Hell, Alex?” he demanded, pushing up off the bench to pace in front of it. “I mean, I—what exactly do you expect me to say to that?”

Alex looked up at him with big, shiny blue eyes, and God, Willie hated that he loved him so much, that he loved Alex enough to want to stick around to listen to an explanation even after knowing Alex kissed his ex-boyfriend and that Willie had been a hair away from catching them.

“It was my fault,” Reggie said, and Willie spun on his heel to find the other ghost standing on the other side of the piano, fidgeting with the sleeves of his flannel. “I kissed him. I’m so sorry, I didn’t—”

“No,” Alex interrupted, standing from the bench too, giving Willie a pleading look, “No, it—it’s my fault, honestly. Really, Reg, if you hadn’t, I—”

“Are you seriously arguing about this right in front of me?” Willie demanded in disbelief, looking between his boyfriend and Reggie incredulously. Reggie flinched and Alex looked suitably chastened, and Willie felt like everything was falling apart all around him and he had no idea how to stop it.

Luke came up behind Reggie, hands pushed deep into the pockets of his vest, and said, “Just tell him what you told me, guys. He deserves an explanation as much as I did.” He glanced at Willie and added, “It’s not a justification, but… it’ll make some sense, at least.”

Willie stared, “You okay with this?”

“Oh, no,” Luke laughed, high and bitter and insincere. “No, I am not okay with this, but at least now I know why it happened.”

“What does that even—” Willie began, but Alex cut in before he could even finish his sentence.

“I lied to Reggie,” he exclaimed, and when they all turned to stare at him, he continued, cheeks flushed, “When we broke up. I lied to him about why I wanted to stop what we were, and—”

“When we were talking about it,” Reggie interjected, “it was like everything came back. Everything I felt back then, everything I haven’t really thought about since we broke and I—I wanted—I needed—I needed to know if I still—if—”

“If you’re still in love with my boyfriend,” Willie concluded, crossing his arms over his chest.

He was well aware he was being rude, but he didn’t feel exactly charitable either. Towards either of them—Reggie might’ve kissed Willie’s boyfriend, but Alex didn’t seem exactly sorry about it either, and Willie didn’t know what to do with that. After Alex had told him about his previous relationship with Reggie, he’d sworn to Willie that he didn’t need to worry about it, that they were great friends still and that any and all romantic feelings were behind them and Willie had believed him.

“So when you told me this,” Willie waved his hand between Reggie and Alex vaguely, “was all over, were you lying? Telling me what I wanted to hear?”

“No,” Alex said pleadingly, reaching out towards Willie. “No, Willie, I promise I wasn’t lying—I didn’t think—we didn’t think—” Willie stayed where he was, let Alex take his hands in his, let his boyfriend draw him closer because he wanted to believe Alex, he did—

“So what now?” he asked. “Am I just supposed to forget this happened?”

“No,” Alex shook his head, clutching at Willie’s hand so tightly it almost hurt. “No, I’d never ask you to—Willie, I’m so sorry.” Willie didn’t resist when Alex pressed his fingers to his jaw, guiding his chin up so Willie had to look him in the eye. “I’m sorry,” Alex repeated. “I never, ever want to hurt you, and I know that I am now, and I’m so sorry.” Alex’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears and the thing was that Willie believed him, but he didn’t know how to just get past this either.

“Do you love him?”

Willie’s voice was barely more than a whisper, and he hated that Reggie and Luke were here to witness this, but… well, it was what it was.

Alex heaved a sigh and shrugged miserably. “I don’t know—I mean…” He glanced towards Reggie and gave a sad little smile, “I don’t remember how to not love him. But I—I love you. And I—I don’t know if I still have romantic feelings for Reggie, and I—”

“I don’t know either,” Reggie admitted quietly. “I think we need to—to—"

Luke grimaced and Willie glanced between them with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. “So,” he uttered slowly, “what, you’re asking permission to figure out whether you’re still in love with each other?” He looked at Alex in disbelief. “You want me to sit by and watch while you and your only serious ex-boyfriend figure things out?”

Alex stared at him with a pained expression but didn’t say anything.

Willie scoffed, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his hair. “You know,” he sighed. “I know I told you I’d do anything for you, hot dog, but…” He exhaled shakily. “I don’t—I don’t know if I can do this.” He looked up at his boyfriend—his wonderful, beautiful, cheatingdrummer boy—and asked, “What if I say no? What are you going to do if I say I’m not okay with this?”

Alex blinked, opened his mouth to say something and when no words came out, closed it again.

It was enough of a confirmation.

Willie tried to ignore the sharp, shooting pain in his chest and shot a sad smile towards Alex. “Do whatever you want, Alex. You’re going to anyway.”

Before Alex could say anything else, he poofed out.

--------------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (4:57 p.m.) LUKE

Luke let a soft groan fall from his lips when Willie poofed out and Alex kind of crumpled down onto the piano bench, shoulders hunched and arms wrapped around himself.

“That could’ve gone better,” he muttered, rubbing a hand through his hair as Reggie fidgeted nervously beside him. Luke didn’t have to look at him to know his boyfriend’s eyes would be fixed on Alex—if today hadn’t happened, Reggie would probably already be by Alex’s side, clumsily trying to comfort him, and that meant the only reason he wasn’t was because he was holding back for Luke’s sake. Of course, if today hadn’t happened, Alex wouldn’t be upset in the first place.

Luke sighed again and nudged his shoulder against his boyfriend’s.

“Go hug him,” he said. “I’ll find Willie. Talk to him.”

Reggie looked back at him with wide, watery green eyes and whispered, “Luke.” Luke smiled shakily and fit his hand around the back of Reggie’s neck, pulling him in so their foreheads rested together.

“I love you,” Luke whispered, tightening his fingers on Reggie’s neck. “And I hate this, but I get it. Talk. You’ve got some time. Julie’s calling Maggie, and I’ll go find Willie. Talk, figure out what you both need to to figure everything out, and we can talk.”

“I love you,” Reggie whispered in response and Luke smiled like it didn’t physically hurt to hear Reggie say the words when he still might end up choosing Alex over Luke in the end.

He let Reggie go and watched, stomach twisting uncomfortably, as Reggie fit himself onto the bench beside Alex, looking away when Alex collapsed into Reggie’s arms. He wasn’t sure where to look for Willie, but the skatepark where Alex had introduced him to them seemed like the best place to start, so with one more glance to his best friend and boyfriend, he poofed out of the studio.

He didn’t find Willie at the skatepark, or the museum, or the strip or anywhere else—until he poofed up to the Hollywood sign, because he was pretty sure Alex had mentioned a date there once, and found Willie sitting on top of the ‘H’, slumped against the side, arms wrapped around himself.

Luke took a deep breath and tried to make sure he was calm, collected, before he poofed himself up onto the sign next to Willie. “Hey man,” he said casually, trying not to wince when Willie looked at him with glassy eyes, rimmed with red.

“Hi,” Willie croaked, before slumping back to rest his head against the cool metal. “Alex send you?”

“No,” Luke shook his head, shifting so he could sit with his legs curled up underneath him. “No, I just… If anyone knows how you’re feeling right now, it’s me, and… I mean, I definitely want someone to talk to, so I figured you might too.”

Willie huffed out a breath, shaking his head, and looked back at Luke. “How are you this calm? Your boyfriend cheated on you. With my boyfriend. After they both promised us there wasn’t anything to worry about, that their relationship was definitely over and done with.” His voice was shaky, just like it’d been on the night he’d confessed what Caleb had done to them, and Luke wished they were actually close enough for him to just wrap himself around the other ghost in a tight hug that Willie so very clearly needed—not to mention how much Luke himself wished someone would hug him.

“I’m…” Luke heaved a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair before he turned sideways to face Willie. “I’m not calm, or okay, or anything you seem to think I am. I think… I think that what Alex and Reggie did today is the most reckless, selfish wildly out of character thing either of them has ever done in their entire lives.”

Luke swallowed thickly and fiddled with one of his rings. “And… I guess I… I get it. And that’s both better and worse, because I don’t like it, I’m not happy about it, but after I let Reggie explain, I did get it. I get why it happened and why they can’t just pretend that it didn’t.”

Willie blinked at him, lips parted, and Luke sighed again. “Okay, look, they didn’t really do a great job of explaining, earlier—”

“No shit,” Willie huffed, and Luke smiled a little despite himself.

“How much did Alex tell you about their relationship?” he asked cautiously.

Willie shrugged, but pulled himself up, turning so he was sitting cross-legged too, facing Luke. “He told me they hooked up a couple of times after you and he broke up, and that they tried dating seriously too, but that it didn’t work out, that their dynamic didn’t work so he broke it off a couple of months before you guys died.”

Luke shook his head. “So basically nothing,” he muttered. “Okay. There was a lot more to it than that. Reggie’s told me… well, not everything, I don’t think, but a lot more than that.”

Willie swallowed thickly. “Okay,” he whispered. “Tell me then. Why should I understand?”

Luke wrapped his arms around himself and leaned his head back against the side of the ‘H’. “They’d been… messing around regularly—and exclusively, despite what Alex seems to think—since ’92. Reggie had a girlfriend for a couple of months in ’93, but that didn’t really work out, and after that…” Luke sighed and shrugged. “After that he was only ever with Alex. Reg says they didn’t really call it dating or anything like that until ’94, but in hindsight it felt like it anyway.”

Willie looked away, and Luke kindly pretended he didn’t see Willie wipe at his eyes.

“So they were serious,” Willie said quietly.

Luke shrugged helplessly. “I think so. More serious than they knew too.”

Willie sighed, but it sounded more confused and frustrated than angry this time, and when he looked back at Luke, his eyes were clear and dry. “So why’d they break up? If everything was so good, if they’d been together that long, if they were in love? Why would Alex lieand say it wasn’t serious?”

Luke shrugged. “I don’t know, man. He can be a dumbass sometimes, and…” He shook his head and looked down, tangling his fingers in his necklace. “He didn’t actually say why he broke up with Reggie in there, did he?”

Willie shook his head mutely.

Luke sighed. “He figured out I was in love with Reggie too.” He rolled his eyes and admitted, “To be fair, it probably wasn’t very hard, I don’t think I was subtle about it at all, but… yeah, I think.” He fidgeted with his necklace nervously. “I think he freaked out a little when he realized how I felt. He’s always been… After he came out, his parents… they were never really cool again, and he hung onto us for support a lot.” Luke smiled sadly and said, “Not that we minded, obviously, but we became his entire family really fast and the idea of losing us terrified him.”

He sighed. “I don’t know, of course, I haven’t asked him, but… I’ve seen him react in more illogical ways when he’s scared we’re going to decide we don’t want him around anymore.”

Luke bit down on his lip as he remembered Alex coming out to them, tears in his eyes, knuckles white with the grip he’d had on his fanny pack when they’d been thirteen, and the time Reggie had gotten into a fight with someone at school who’d insulted Alex and had his nose broken and Alex had somehow managed to blame himself—remembered those fraught first few days after their breakup, where Alex had walked on eggshells around him, terrified that Luke was going to kick him out of the band for not getting over his feelings fast enough.

“Reggie’s like that too,” he said quietly. “Abandonment issues. They’ve done weirder stuff than this.”

“So,” Willie said slowly, frowning hard. “So he broke up with Reggie because he was afraid you’d kick him out of the band if he didn’t?”

Luke shrugged. “I don’t know for sure obviously, and I doubt he did it with that consciously in mind, but… I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out he let his anxiety brain convince him that there was no way I’d let him stay around if we were both in love with Reggie, if he was dating Reggie and I wasn’t, and broke up with him to save us all the trouble.”

Willie groaned and dug his hands into his hair. “…and that’s what he lied to Reggie about.”

“I think so,” Luke nodded. “He told Reggie it wasn’t working. That he didn’t feel the same way, so Reg kind of pushed away everything romantic he felt for Alex, refused to think about it.” He chewed down on his lower lip and said, “He wrote it all down, wrote dozens of songs, and never played them, until…”

“Until now,” Willie finished, looking up at Luke with reddened eyes.

“Yeah,” Luke whispered. “Until now.”

Willie heaved a very heavy sigh and thumped his head back against the wall behind him, staring up at the sky. “I get it,” he said, voice thick and choked. “You were right. It’s both better and worse to understand them.”

Luke nodded quietly.

They sat together in silence, and Luke wondered how Alex and Reggie’s conversation fared—and then promptly realized he wasn’t sure he wanted to know at all. He understood, and he sympathized because he loved Reggie and he could see how much this was hurting him too, could see how torn up Alex was over the entire thing and… and they were his best friends.

In the end all he wanted was for both of them to be happy.

That didn’t mean he was looking forward to having his own heart broken though.

“What the hell are we gonna do?” Willie piped up after a while. Luke looked back at the other ghost contemplatively and then shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I told Reggie to find out what they need to figure this—to figure themselves—out, to talk to Alex, but I don’t—I don’t know what is going to happen now.” Willie huffed a breath and jumped to his feet, pacing the little platform anxiously in a stunning approximation of Alex’s expert model strut, tugging his fingers through his hair.

“I don’t know what to do with this,” Willie exclaimed. “I want to understand, and I do, okay, but—but I don’t want to have to sit by and watch him fall in love with someone else.”

“Me either,” admitted Luke. “But what choice do we have? Demand that they don’t resolve their thing and have all of our relationships suffer for it?” Willie groaned and threw his hands up in exasperation before he plopped down beside Luke, leaning their shoulders together casually.

“At least we’ll have each other, right?” he joked, and he felt Willie huff a reluctant laugh before the other ghost tipped his head back against the wall, smiling weakly.

“Promise you’ll run away with me if this doesn’t end well?” Willie quipped, looking at Luke with an expression that was equal parts hopeful and heartbroken, and Luke found, a little unexpectedly, that he was willing to do a lot to erase the heartbreak from Willie’s eyes.

He nodded, offering him the most sincere smile that he could muster. “Sure. I’ll teach you how to play the guitar and you’ll teach me how to skate and we’ll make everyone jealous with how rad we are.”

Willie snorted a laugh, and Luke smiled too.

“We should go back eventually,” Willie said after they’d both fallen silent for a few moments. He sounded devastated at the mere prospect, and Luke was still a little taken aback by the strong urge he felt to shield his newest friend from heartache.

“We don’t have to yet,” he said quietly. “We can just… sit here, for a while.”

Willie chuckled weakly and rolled his head to the side again, eyeing Luke carefully. “How’re you doing with all of this? You’ve said you’re not okay, but—”

Luke shrugged. “I mean… this sucks. This whole thing…” His voice broke, and he shuddered before he whispered, “I love him. I just… In the end, I just want him to be happy, even if that’s not with me.”

He smiled sadly. “I’m sure I’ll get over it if I need to.”

Willie gaped at him, and Luke stared back for a second before Willie huffed and yanked him in for a hug. Luke’s arms came up to grip at Willie’s shoulders automatically, and he blinked owlishly for a few seconds before he sank into the embrace. He felt Willie shudder in his arms and choked, “Bet you didn’t realize you needed a hug too, did you?”

Willie snorted a laugh right in his ear and Luke smiled.

“We’re going to work this out somehow, bro,” he whispered. “One way or another.”

------------------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (4:43 p.m.) T’NIA

She had just put Regina down for a nap and was headed back down the stairs to join her sister and her family for hot chocolates after their walk when she heard Maggie’s voice drift from the spare bedroom. She hesitated for a moment just outside the door, unsure if she should interrupt, before shaking her head at her own hesitation. She and Maggie had no secrets anymore, and as unbelievable as half of their life was these days, at least she knew Maggie wasn’t hiding things from her.

She knocked lightly on the door, waiting for Maggie’s assenting grumble before she let herself in.

Maggie sat cross-legged up against the headboard, wearing a much-too-large white linen shirt, her hair tumbling loose around her shoulders, a blanket tucked in tight around her waist and legs. It was, perhaps, the most undone and casual she had ever seen Maggie look in days, and it made her insides feel warm and her legs wobbly.

The only thing that ruined the intimacy of the moment was Maggie’s unsettled expression as she stared down at her phone.

“Hi,” T’Nia said quietly.

Maggie didn’t look up, but the line of her shoulders stiffened just so, and T’Nia barely resisted the urge to run to her wife to offer comfort. It was an old urge, one she’d not experienced in quite some time, and one she wasn’t exactly pleased to feel again. Maggie hadn’t had a lot of bad days in the past three years, hadn’t needed to go to therapy more than once a month in even longer than that, but the risk of the depression hitting her hard was always there.

“Hi,” Maggie finally said, glancing up from her phone for a second before directing her eyes back down.

“You doing okay, sweetheart?” T’Nia asked as she moved into the room, the door shutting with a soft click behind her. Even though she and Maggie didn’t actually spend much time in San Diego and even less time staying with Ende, the room was still cozy and warm and was quite similar to their own bedroom back in L.A.

“Julie called,” Maggie said, still not looking at her, “They need my help locating—” She bit her lip and sniffed, “Jacob Tafani.” T’Nia stood rooted to the spot, warring with her instinctual response to rage that Julie had exposed Maggie to a trigger like that so blatantly and her urge to run and comfort Maggie.

“Why—are you—” she stuttered ineloquently, but Maggie mercifully shook her head before T’Nia managed to stutter her way through the question.

“They think they’ve found the ghost who ordered them killed,” she explained. “And I’m not… I want to help them. They deserve to know what happened.” She looked up at T’Nia with shiny, wet eyes and whispered, “I… I’m just scared of what it’ll…” She shook her head again and choked, “I don’t want to go back there, T’Nia. I can’t go back there.”

She exhaled shakily. “Does it make me terrible to not want to? He’s my brother, I—”

T’Nia still felt shaken, unsteady and unsure of how to respond to her wife, but she moved towards her anyway. “Reggie loves you,” she said in a soft voice. “If you tell him this is… this is too much, he’ll understand. He’d never ask you to do this if you said it was too difficult.”

Maggie looked down and away, and T’Nia knew she was repressing her instinct to wave away T’Nia’s concern, her reassurance that Reggie wouldn’t want her to do anything she didn’t want to.

She was drawn from her thoughts when Maggie touched her hand to T’Nia’s lightly. “I know he wouldn’t ask me to,” she said quietly, seriously. “But... I want to help them too. Julie can’t get into the prison, I’m the only one who’s been there before. We know he’ll talk to me. It’s just not… not great.”

“No,” T’Nia agreed. “No, it isn’t.”

She looked down to their hands and swallowed thickly. “You know that I just want what’s best for you,” she then said in a rush of words. “Don’t you? And your brother adores you. No one is going to be angry with you for making this choice for yourself. No one will be offended if you can’t do this.”

Maggie smiled tremulously. “I hope so.”

---------------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (5:17 p.m.) REGGIE

There were shiny tear tracks on Alex’s cheeks and the whites of his eyes were more red than white, and Reggie had never seen him look this miserable—not when Luke had broken up with him, not when Alex had explained, tears in his eyes, that his parents weren’t okay with him being gay, not when he’d broken up with Reggie, sad and apologetic—and he hated it.

He didn’t want Alex to be miserable.

“Willie’s gonna understand,” he urged, pushing himself off from the arm of the couch, arms still clasped tight against his body, and taking a tentative step forward towards Alex, who looked at him, eyes wide and unsure and filled with pain, but didn’t move back. “You and I both know he’s—he’s the coolest guy ever. He’s angry and he should be, you know, I did kiss his boyfriend, but—”

He breathed in shakily, hands trembling when he unwound his arms from around his own torso to reach for Alex before thinking better of it and pulling his hand back again.

“Alex,” he whispered, keeping their eyes locked as he took a tentative step closer. “I’m sorry,” he repeated the apology he’d been repeating for hours. “I’m sorry that I kissed you and screwed everything up for you and Willie. I’m sorry, Alex. I just got so confused when you—with—with everything.”

A tiny, involuntary sound fell from Alex’s lips and Reggie wished he was brave enough to reach out to comfort him again, to show him that Reggie could deal with whatever leftover feelings he still had—he’d been able to do it thus far, and he could do it again. “We don’t have to do this,” he continued, ignoring the wobble in his voice as he pressed on, desperate to make Alex smile again. “We’re not—you broke up with me for a reason, and I should—I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have pushed.”

He swallowed thickly and looked down at his hands. “Doesn’t matter why, right? We broke up. We moved on.” His voice broke and his breath caught for a long, distended moment—he felt dizzy and afraid but also strong because he should have said these things hours ago, before he kissed him—before Alex lifted his free hand and lightly brushed his fingers across Reggie’s cheek, and Reggie’s breath left his lungs in a rush.

“Maybe,” Alex whispered. “But I still did it for the wrong reasons. And I lied to both of us. I thought,” Alex hesitated, “I thought you were okay with us breaking up. You’ve joked about it, you’re—you’re with Luke, you’re in love with Luke.”

“Because I thought we broke up because you weren’t in love with me,” Reggie replied unsteadily. “I thought you didn’t feel the same way I felt—I’m not a masochist, Alex, I don’t actually enjoy unrequited love. You told me it was over and I tried to move on.”

“Did you?” Alex implored, his eyes wide and so scared and confused that it made Reggie’s heart clench.

“Yeah, I mean, I—I thought you didn’t love me, that you knew how I felt about you and… and didn’t want that,” he began, though he was hesitant, because he wasn’t sure about any of this, wasn’t sure how to describe his feelings for Alex anymore.

“I didn’t think you wanted to schlep me off on Luke the second you figured out how he felt about me.” The words were deliberately blunt and Reggie hated the way Alex flinched away, but he followed, staying close, not quite touching but close enough to feel the muted warmth from Alex’s skin radiating onto his own.

He’d promised Luke they’d start figuring this out and Reggie wanted to.

“That’s not—Reg, of course I loved you. I loved you so much—” Alex tried, but Reggie was on a roll, was getting out all the things he wished he’d said back then, and he couldn’t stop.

“But not enough to fight for me,” Reggie interrupted. “Not enough to want to fight to keep me. I was yours, Alex. You wouldn’t have had to fight at all; you should’ve just talked to me.”

“Reg...”

“Why wasn’t I—why weren’t we worth fighting for, ‘lex?” His voice shook as he spoke and maybe he’d have been embarrassed if it’d been anyone but Alex hearing him like this, but it was Alex. Alex had held him when he cried hundreds of times, had seen Reggie make a fool of himself a thousand times over, had seen him at his most vulnerable after his dad kicked him out and took care of him—there wasn’t much Reggie was ashamed to show in front of Alex.

Alex gave him the kind of heartsick expression he’d given Reggie the night he broke up with him, and this time he didn’t hesitate when he stepped closer, pressing both hands to Reggie’s cheeks. “Alex,” Reggie whispered, feeling off-balance and a little shaken and just a little afraid, because they’d screwed up once already today, and he wanted—

He wanted everyone to be okay, he wanted to stop hurting Luke and Willie and Alex and himself and he wanted to be sure.

“We were,” Alex said softly, intensely. “We were—you were. And I wanted to, but…” He shook his head and admitted, “I was scared. I knew how you felt about Luke because you’d always been honest about it, and when I found out how he felt, I—”

“You ran,” Reggie whispered. “Like you always do.”

Alex looked taken aback. “Reg, I don’t—”

“Yeah, you do,” Reggie nodded, and he swallowed thickly, looking away. “You always had one foot out the door. You spent our entire relationship running away from me, from us, Alex. Every time things were hard, or complicated, you’d run. The only thing different about the breakup was that I stopped chasing you.”

“That’s what you thought?” Alex choked, looking aghast as he stared at Reggie. “That I—that you were the one chasing me the entire time we were together?”

“Wasn’t I?” Reggie demanded, pushing away from Alex to settle back down on the couch. “Like when I told you how I felt about Luke, you stopped talking to me outside of band practice for two weeks, and when my dad kicked us out, you got so up in your own head you convinced yourself I’d break up with you so you tried to leave me first and I… I tried to keep you every time. By the time we broke up, I figured… I figured maybe I’d been trying to fight off the inevitable anyway.”

He drew his lower lip between his teeth and wrapped his arms around himself, blinking hard against the burn of tears in his eyes.

“Reggie,” Alex whispered, sounding devastated, and Reggie had barely had the chance to look up at him before Alex was suddenly on his knees in front of him, his hands large and warm on Reggie’s thighs. “I’m sorry,” Alex continued, his blue eyes wide and sincere, “I’m sorry I made you feel like I wasn’t all-in. I was—I really, really was. I wanted—I wanted us to be real, but—”

“We were real,” Reggie interrupted hoarsely. “It was real to me, Alex.”

Alex’s eyes were glassy with tears as he whispered, “It was to me too, Reg. I think… I think I got scared of how real it was.” He looked down and reached out to take Reggie’s hand, tangling their fingers together. “Maybe… I got so freaked out when I realized how Luke felt because… because it’d change everything. If he told you and you picked him, I—” He broke off and looked away, and Reggie’s heart ached, but Alex just exhaled a shuddering breath before continuing, “But if you didn’t—if you’d have picked me, us…”

“No denying how serious that would’ve been, right?” Reggie whispered.

Alex shot him a watery smile. “I told you,” he whispered. “You scare me, sometimes.”

Reggie exhaled a sob and nodded before slipping off the couch and throwing his arms around Alex, burying his face in Alex’s shoulder. They hadn’t hugged like this, just the two of them, since the last time Reggie had spent the night with Alex, a week after they’d broken up, and Reggie had almost managed to forget how much he loved Alex’s hugs.

Alex took a second to catch up, to process what was happening before he wrapped his arms around Reggie’s waist, clutching at Reggie just as tightly as Reggie clutched at him.

“I’m sorry,” Reggie whispered against Alex’s shoulder, digging his fingers into the soft fabric of Alex’s hoodie.

Alex huffed a breath and whispered, “Me too, Reg.”

Reggie had no idea how long they stayed like that, kneeling on the floor in front of the couch, wrapped in a tight hug before the door creaked open and Willie and Luke stepped in. Reggie pulled away from Alex slowly, something that felt a lot like guilt twisting his stomach at the expression on Luke’s face, even though they hadn’t been doing anything but hugging.

He pulled himself back up the couch and looked up at his boyfriend, who shot him a small, uncertain smile. “Hi,” he squeaked.

Luke shared a look with Willie before he crossed his arms over his chest. “Willie and I have some… concerns.” Willie nodded tersely without taking his eyes off of Alex, who stood beside the couch, fiddling with his rings nervously. “And ground rules,” Luke added. “We’re—you guys have to figure out how you feel about each other, and about us, and we get that. But there have to be ground rules.”

“Anything,” Alex blurted, and Reggie nodded urgently.

“Nothing happens behind our backs,” Willie said, voice steady but clearly wrought with emotion. “I—we get that this is hard to figure out and that emotions can run high, but—”

“We’ll tell you everything,” Reggie promised immediately. “Everything.”

“And try to avoid kissing people that aren’t your boyfriend,” Luke piped in, chewing on his lower lip, and when Reggie looked up at him, Luke was looking back at him desperately, fingers twitching against his biceps.

“And be honest,” Willie whispered. “Whatever it is, please keep talking to us.”

Alex nodded wordlessly and that seemed to be all that Willie needed to throw himself into Alex’s arms. Alex let out a soft, hurt sound and caught him, wrapping his arms tightly around Willie and Reggie couldn’t help but smile because he could see the softened line of Alex’s shoulders, the tension that had drained from him the second Willie touched him.

Reggie still wasn’t sure what he felt for Alex anymore, but… he really did just want to see him happy.

He tore his gaze from Willie and Alex when Luke sat next to him, hands shaking and lower lip pushed out just a little into a tiny pout. “Hi,” Reggie said again, quietly, tentatively reaching out for Luke’s hand.

“Hey baby,” Luke whispered, tangling their fingers together.

“I’m—" Reggie began, but Luke shook his head, leaning forward to rest their foreheads together.

“I know,” Luke said, squeezing Reggie’s fingers. “I know, baby. I forgive you. We can—we’re going to figure this out. All of us.” He sounded so sure, so convinced, like he’d bend the rules of the universe itself to make things right, and Reggie believed him.

“I love you,” Reggie breathed hopelessly, because he did.

Luke huffed a laugh. “I know,” he said. “I know. I love you too, baby.”

----------

READ IT HERE:

Start from the beginning:

Unfinished Business:

(1) (2) (3)

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

A Song Only You Can Hear

(1) (2) (3) (4)

Or read it HERE (BaMBaT), HERE (UB) OR HERE (ASoYCH) on AO3 :D

#A Song Only You Can Hear #ASOYCH #julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #reggie/luke #Alex/willie #willex #ruke #reggie/Luke/Alex/Willie #ot4 #BamBat #BamBat sequel #peterpatter #Lisa writes #my writing

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cuthian · 3 years

Text

Unfinished Business Chapter Three

PART THREE -- LUKE (DECEMBER 1994 - JULY 1995)

EARLY DECEMBER 1994

“As long as you live under our roof, you’ll obey our rules, Luke!”

Luke shivered.

His mother’s voice still echoed in his mind even hours later. Hours after he had run out of the house with not much more than his guitar and the clothes on his back, hours after he had come to the studio and found it empty and cold—Reggie had probably opted to spend the night in Alex’s cozy, warm guest bedroom instead—hours since he had curled up under the blankets Reggie had piled onto the little bed up on the loft and cried himself hoarse.

He knew that he could very easily have gone to Alex’s house too, and that his friends would be there and that they’d comfort him, but… but Luke didn’t really want to talk about his mom right now.

He didn’t really want to talk at all.

Because… Well… See, the thing was that Luke loved his parents to death.

They were good, kind people and he knew that they had his best interests at heart, really. The only problem was that their idea of his best interests and his own were wildly different.

The things Luke wanted out of life and the things his parents wanted for him were so different that Luke didn’t know how they’d ever be able to find a middle ground. He hadn’t thought they would be able to find a middle ground—the arguments had only gotten more frequent and decidedly worse since he’d graduated high school, since he had made it abundantly clear he was not going to college any time soon—and he certainly didn’t think they could at all anymore.

In the past three weeks, he’d already spent more nights at the studio or with Alex than at home, and it was another thing for his mother to be pissed off about, but he wouldn’t give it up for the world.

Spending time with Reggie and Alex—and Bobby, when he was around outside of band practice—was Luke’s favorite thing to do. He was privately a little relieved that they still had Alex’s house to retreat to as well, because while he knew his mom was fine with Alex and Reggie coming over—especially Reggie—it was always just a little tense.

Alex’s parents had been spending a lot of time being away from their home and their son, after having decided, in an unexpectedly merciful mood, to let said son continue living in their house despite his so-called less desirable proclivities. Luke hated how their absence and utter lack of acceptance was hurting Alex, but he had to admit he did like knowing he—and Reggie—had somewhere to go that wasn’t their studio.

The studio, while adequate enough for Reggie—and, on occasion, Alex or Luke—definitely wouldn’t provide comfortable living for all three of them.

Bobby, on occasion, had said that it was cool if they stayed over at his place too, but considering Bobby’s parents were barely cool with Bobby deciding to take a year off before he applied to college, and every single one of them knew that they kind of blamed the other boys for convincing Bobby to join the band, none of them had really taken him up on it.

He did join them for movie nights at Alex’s though, so Luke figured he probably didn’t feel too left out, at least.

Luke vaguely wondered if Bobby was at Alex’s too, if they were all there, if they missed him, if they were wondering why they hadn’t heard from him at all since their gig two days ago. He buried his nose in the pillow and inhaled shakily, squeezing his eyes shut.

The pillows and blankets smelled a little like Reggie, actually, an intrinsic blend of vanilla and leather and something spicy that Luke couldn’t name, and it was oddly soothing. He wished, suddenly, abruptly, that his friend was here too, that Reggie would hold him again like he had every other time Luke had spent the night with him in the studio.

He wished that he could press into Reggie’s arms and breathe him in; that he could clutch at his best friend until he felt better about—about everything, because nothing did that like Reggie’s dumb jokes and tight hugs, and—

Oh.

Well.

Luke was, historically, not great at recognizing his own emotions.

He hadn’t realized what the warm, tingly feeling in the pit of his stomach when he looked at Alex had meant until, after their very first performance, Alex had taken his hand, dragged him off the stage and kissed him right on the lips.

He hadn’t realized that what he felt for Alex wasn’t actually romantic love until nearly a year later, when he’d looked at Alex and realized that, if he didn’t account for the kissing and the making out, what he felt for Alex was exactly the same as what he felt for Reggie Bobby, and he… well, he knew that that didn’t make sense, because you were supposed to feel more for a boyfriend.

He didn’t realize that the uncomfortable way his stomach tightened when people dismissed Reggie as the dumb one, the way his eyes burned and the way he wanted to scream at whoever did it, meant that he was sad and angry all at once. He didn’t recognize the absolute rage that bubbled up in him, that made him curl his fists and feel the urge to smash something, whenever someone called Alex names.

He could therefore be excused, he thought a little wildly, for not realizing sooner what the fond, warm, mildly tingly feeling he felt whenever he was with Reggie meant. He rolled onto his back, staring up at the wooden ceiling blankly as he tried, desperately, to pinpoint when his feelings for his best friend had gone from best friend to… to… well, to whatever they were now.

He and Reggie had always been really close, and he’d always been one of Luke’s favorite people in the whole world, so it was hard to figure out when that had become… more.

The only frame of reference Luke had for any of this was what he’d had with Alex, because while he certainly had dated around, he’d never really been in love with any of them, and this felt so different than what he had felt for Alex that he didn’t know what to call his feelings for Reggie now.

Was this… was this what being in love with someone felt like?

He thought about Reggie and his silly, playful grin and the way his eyes twinkled when he nailed a riff on his bass on the first try, the way he hugged Luke back twice as tight whenever Luke needed him to and his stomach abruptly tightened and his palms felt clammy and he could feel his heart beating high in his throat and he’d never really understood the phrase ‘butterflies in his stomach’ before, but holy hell, he did now.

“Shit,” he whispered, still staring up at the ceiling. “Shit.”

He needed to… he needed to figure out what to do with this. What if he just...what if he just had a crush, something temporary that he’d get over easily enough? It wasn’t worth risking their friendship or the band for if he’d get over it in a few weeks’ time.

He needed… he needed more information.

He’d… he’d talk to Alex.

Alex always knew what to do.

Luke exhaled shakily and shut his eyes. He would find Alex tomorrow and ask him about… about what it felt like to be in love with someone, about how he’d been sure, about… about how he could be sure it wouldn’t ruin their friendship.

He’d ask Alex for advice, and Alex would know what to do.

--------------

DECEMBER 1994 (CHRISTMAS EVE)

Okay, so Luke maybe hadn’t talked to Alex about his feelings yet, but that was only because things had been incredibly hectic for the past few weeks. He’d been woken up the morning after he ran away from home by his friends, who had piled rowdily into their studio, armed with donuts and coffee and all the comforting words and warm hugs Luke could ask for, and things had been fine, for a couple of days, before Alex had come into the studio, pale and wide-eyed and had shown them a poster that read “Missing Person: Luke Patterson”.

Luke had wanted to burst into indignant rage at the thought, because he was legally an adult, what the hell were his parents thinking, but Alex had talked him down.

He’d reluctantly consented to let Alex—and later, when Alex returned, unsuccessful, Reggie—talk to his parents, to tell them he was safe and healthy, but that he was not coming back and that he wasn’t willing to talk to them just yet.

Luke wasn’t sure why his parents hadn’t taken Alex’s word for it—generally, Alex did better with adults than Reggie, who was fantastic at blurting out random things and stuffing his own foot in his mouth—but Reggie had, after a very long afternoon, returned to the studio and announced that Luke’s parents weren’t happy, but had at least consented to take down the posters, as long as Reggie or Alex checked in with them regularly to let them know Luke was doing okay.

Luke had taken it as a win.

Right after that, they’d gotten a series of gigs at various nightclubs and bars in addition to their regular gig at Teaszer’s, and they were finally beginning to build a loyal fanbase. It was exhilarating to be on stage and to hear the crowd sing back their songs, to hear them shouting their names, their band’s name, to realize that people knew who they were.

They were going places, and it’d been exciting enough to drive his feelings for Reggie to the back of his mind for a while, where he could comfortably ignore them as they went about their business.

Ignoring it, though, he mused idly, didn’t seem to be on the agenda for much longer.

Today had been Alex’s idea.

Bobby was spending Christmas Eve with his parents, because he was part of a well-adjusted, normal family, which left Alex, Reggie and Luke to their own devices. Reggie had been mopy for days before Alex had figured out that he probably just missed Maggie—they’d always been close and this was the first time Reggie wouldn’t be around for Christmas.

Alex’s solution had been simple: Reggie’s parents were out all the time, even on holidays, and it shouldn’t be very hard to sneak into the house so Reggie could spend some time with Maggie.

In reality, it left Luke and Alex standing at the end of the driveway while Reggie was inside, hands pushed deep into their pockets as they kept an eye out for either of Reggie’s parents coming home. They’d both hugged Maggie briefly when they snuck in, ruffling her hair and promising to see her again soon before they’d given Reggie some privacy to sit and talk with his little sister.

They talked quietly about the band for a while, a few new songs Luke had written and wanted to add to their regular setlist at Teaszer’s, before they fell into a comfortable silence.

Luke chewed on his lower lip nervously as he glanced back at the house a couple of times, trying to figure out how to bring up his feelings to Alex without actually having to reveal who they were about. Alex was stupidly observant though, and Luke was a little afraid that he’d see right through him.

“What’s bothering you?” Alex said then, snapping Luke abruptly from his thoughts.

“Wha—nothing,” he squeaked. “Nothing at all.”

Alex gave him a flat, unimpressed look, and Luke sighed, hanging his head. “Fine,” he groaned. “Fine. I just…” He drew his lip between his teeth and eyed Alex contemplatively from beneath his eyelashes. “How did you know you were in love with me?”

Alex blinked, obviously taken aback by the question, and Luke almost felt bad for asking, but… well, he really was desperate for an answer.

“Uh,” Alex said slowly. “I… I don’t know.” He shrugged helplessly, and Luke chewed on his lower lip nervously. “I guess I just wanted to spend time with you all the time. And,” he shook his head, “I had butterflies in my stomach when I looked at you, and when we kissed I—” He broke off and looked away.

“Sorry,” Luke said quietly. “I didn’t mean to—”

“No, it’s—it’s fine,” Alex cut him off, waving a hand dismissively. “I just haven’t really thought about all of this since we broke up, so…”

Luke scuffed his toe against the pavement awkwardly. “Yeah,” he nodded. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

Alex just looked at him for a minute, brow furrowed, before he asked, “Why ask me about any of that now, Luke?” When Luke dared look up at him, Alex had wandered a little closer, hands pushed deep into his pockets, eyes wide and sincere, and Luke felt himself cave before he’d even opened his mouth.

“I guess I was just…” Luke shrugged. “I realized I haven’t been in love before, and I—I don’t know how I’d even know if I was.” He didn’t really realize what he’d said until Alex’s expression contorted into something resembling hurt before he managed to hide it, and Luke felt terrible immediately. “Alex,” he said urgently, grabbing for his best friend’s arm. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean I didn’t—”

“Relax,” Alex said tightly, offering Luke a semi-sincere smile. “Between you breaking up with me right before I actually vocally said I love you and you sticking your tongue down someone else’s throat three days later, I kind of noticed you didn’t feel the same way I did, Luke.”

Luke kind of felt like he’d been slapped in the face, and he must’ve looked like it too, because Alex heaved another sigh and added, “It’s fine, Luke. It’s been a long time. I’m over it.”

Luke bit his lip. “Still, I’m—I’m sorry. I don’t know if I ever said that, actually. I should’ve. I did love you.” he stepped closer and curled his fingers around Alex’s wrist. “I do love you, but I couldn’t—I couldn’t be who and what you wanted me to be, and I… I didn’t want to lose you, so I—”

Alex cut him off with a hand over his mouth, rolling his eyes a little at Luke. “Look, much as this isn’t the place to have this conversation,” they both glanced down the driveway, towards the house, before Alex continued, “I know you’re sorry. I knew you were sorry three years ago, when you actually dumped me. But I loved you, and I knew you didn’t love me the same way, and I wanted you in my life, so I adjusted. I’m over you, Luke. I really am.”

He dropped his hand and Luke swallowed thickly. “I shouldn’t have asked you though,” he admitted. “I didn’t—I wasn’t thinking, really.” He looked pleadingly at Alex and whispered, “Please don’t be mad at me.”

Alex rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway, and Luke felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “I’m not mad,” he shook his head. “Maybe three years ago, but not now. Not anymore.”

Luke exhaled in relief and looped an arm around Alex’s shoulder, tugging him in for a hug.

Alex hugged him back begrudgingly. “Now,” he said when Luke released him, “Who is this person that has you all tied up in knots? Do I know them?”

“Uh,” Luke choked. “No. No, absolutely not. I’m not in love with anyone, it’s just—I didn’t—”

“Uh-huh,” Alex said sceptically. “Okay. Sure.”

Luke opened his mouth to say something—anything—to make Alex stop looking at him like that, but then Reggie came bounding out the front door, his eyes a little reddened and his cheeks slightly shiny with drying tear tracks, but a massive grin on his lips. “Thank you guys so much,” he exclaimed, reeling them in for a messy group hug as soon as they were within reach. “You’re the best.”

Luke’s cheeks heated at the contact almost instantly, and he barely managed to school his expression into something resembling a normal smile before Reggie leaned back.

“No problem, Reg,” Alex said, smiling down at Reggie fondly, and Luke took their moment of distraction to compose himself a little, because holy hell was he a mess. He hadn’t actually expected his conversation with Alex to go in the direction that it did, and it’d rattled him more than he thought it would, and then Reggie had been right there up in his face, his body pressed tight against Luke’s and—

And it wasn’t like they hadn’t hugged at all since Luke had realized how he felt, but it was the first time that Reggie had hugged him while Luke was actively thinking about how he felt.

He needed a second, okay?

“Yeah,” he said just a tad too loudly, patting his hand on Reggie’s shoulder. “We’re happy to do this any time. You deserve to see Maggie as often as you’d like.” Reggie’s smile could’ve lit up the entire neighborhood and it momentarily took Luke’s breath away and shit, he was so far gone for Reggie that it wasn’t even funny anymore.

“Thank you,” Reggie exclaimed again, bouncing back over to Luke to sling his arms around him, hugging him close, and the blush that Luke had just about willed away rushed back in full force. He hugged back automatically, but his eyes flashed towards Alex, panicked.

Alex was staring at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted and—shit.

Now Alex knew how Luke felt too.

Maybe he really was obvious about it.

He needed to get a handle on himself.

He could.

He was going to.

--------------

FEBRUARY 1995

“So,” Alex said after Bobby dragged Reggie off to get pizza for all of them, leaving Luke in a distressingly empty garage with the one person he was trying to avoid.

Luke set down his guitar, deliberately avoiding looking at Alex, because he knew his own strengths and weaknesses and he knew that he’d probably cave as soon as he met Alex’s eye, and he didn’t think he was ready for everything that would mean.

“So,” Luke said too, because… well, staying quiet would’ve been more awkward.

Alex heaved a sigh, and Luke winced a little. It really was a bit of a miracle that he’d managed to avoid talking to Alex about this for as long as he had, but for a while, Alex had avoided him too, and then Alex had seemingly gotten in an argument with Reggie, and it’d been pretty easy to avoid him then too.

Luke had been terrified for a while that Alex had given him away, that he’d told Reggie about his suspicions, but Reggie hadn’t given any indication of being angry or weirded out with Luke at all. All he’d done was look at Alex with an unbearably sad expression a couple of times and spend more nights in the garage than in Alex’s guest room.

When Luke had asked, Reggie had just said they’d fallen out over something stupid and they’d fix it soon enough, and Luke had to admit that he’d been right. It’d only taken a few days of Reggie looking distinctly like a kicked puppy before Alex caved and Reggie spent the night there—presumably so they could talk privately, which Luke hated because they were his best friends and he hated being excluded, but understood too, because there were some things he’d only ever talked about with Alex, and some he’d only ever talked about with Reggie.

It stood to reason that was true for them too.

“Are you ready to talk to me?” Alex said, and Luke didn’t even need to turn around to know his arms would be crossed over his chest and he’d be frowning at him.

Luke sighed.

“Yeah,” he finally said, taking a second to steel himself before he turned to Alex—his best friend—his first and only boyfriend—his ex-boyfriend. “Yeah, I guess.”

Alex offered him a small, tentative smile and Luke smiled back instinctively. “You don’t have to,” Alex offered, and Luke was so tempted to take the out, but… but this had been eating away at him since he’d realized and he did want to talk to someone—to Alex.

“No, I do,” Luke nodded, wringing his hands together. “I do, I want to.” He looked up at Alex’s concerned, bright blue eyes and repeated, “I want to talk to you.”

Alex moved forward and Luke let him guide them both back until the back of his knees hit the couch and he sank down into the seat. Alex sank down next to him and Luke leaned into him automatically. It was comforting to have Alex right there next to him, to have his familiar warmth and weight pressed against Luke’s side.

“I think I’m in love with Reggie,” he admitted quietly.

Alex exhaled a long, slow breath. “Yeah,” he said hoarsely. “Yeah, that’s what I figured.”

Luke chanced a look at Alex and bit his lip anxiously at the sight of his friend’s unreadable expression. “Is—I know that it’s—I mean, would it—would it be too weird if I—?”

Alex shook his head jerkily, and Luke didn’t know what to make of his expression, didn’t know why Alex was so shocked by Luke’s actual admission. “Nah. Nah, it’s fine. I just want you to be happy, you know? If that’s Reggie, then I’d say go for it.” Alex choked, and Luke wanted to believe him, but—but he’d known Alex long enough to know there was something he wasn’t saying.

“I don’t believe you,” Luke whispered, and Alex looked at him with wide, startled eyes. “You’re not telling me something,” he added, eyeing his friend closely.

Alex looked back at him with big, blue eyes filled with confusion and just the tiniest hint of apprehension, and Luke said, slowly, “Alex, if it’s too weird, if… if you’re not—I’ll get over it.” He meant it too—he had hurt Alex enough when he’d insisted they break up, insisted they were better off as friends, that it wasn’t worth risking the band for…

He didn’t want to do it again.

Luke could get over Reggie—probably. Maybe.

For Alex’s sake though, he would try his hardest to get over it, if he needed to.

“No,” Alex shook his head. “No, it’s—I…” He heaved a sigh and ran his hands through his hair. “Look, it took Reggie ages to recover from what happened with Ella, and I… I had to be there every step of the way, and I—I know you were too, but—I guess I just—”

“You’re worried I’m gonna break his heart too,” Luke finished for him.

“No,” Alex denied immediately, and Luke shot him a look. Alex groaned and amended, “Yes. I don’t know. I just worry about him, you know?”

Luke nodded.

That, he understood all too well.

Reggie had, out of all of them, always been the most fragile, emotionally. Luke and Alex had had an unspoken agreement since the day they’d met to protect Reggie as much as they were able—including from themselves, and after the way Luke had handled his breakup with Alex, he couldn’t really blame Alex for being wary either.

“He’s my best friend too, you know,” he pointed out gently. “And—the last thing I ever want to do is hurt him.” Luke groaned and fell back against the couch pillows. “Plus it’s not like I even know if he feels the same way about me. This could be an entirely pointless discussion.”

Alex snorted a laugh. “Fair enough. But. I do think you should talk to him.”

Luke pouted. “What if he breaks my heart?” He wasn’t serious—not really, because he knew that even if Reggie didn’t feel the same way he did, he’d be so incredibly sweet and kind about it that Luke would probably still feel loved—but the thought of Reggie not liking him was still distressing.

“You’ll be fine,” Alex grinned. “Your ego is big enough to survive the blow.”

Luke gasped in mock-offense, and Alex laughed, nudging his shoulder against Luke’s. “Don’t sweat it, man. I’m sure you’re gonna be fine. You know Reggie—he wouldn’t lord it over you or be weird about it.”

“I know,” Luke sighed. “I know. I just—”

“Yeah,” Alex agreed. “I get it. Shit’s scary, even when you rationally know everything will be fine.”

“I can’t believe I haven’t ever really dated someone since you,” Luke said, the realization having come to him in the middle of their conversation. “I don't even know how to be in love with someone.” He rolled his head to the side and glared at Alex. “Do you think Reggie knows how to be in love with someone? Will he mind that I don’t, if he likes me too?”

“Luke, oh my God,” Alex groaned. “Reggie is literally one of the chillest guys in the world. Nothing bothers him. Even losing his virginity wasn’t that big of a deal to him—you’ll be fine.”

Luke blinked. “He told you about losing his virginity?”

Alex heaved yet another sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. “In excruciating detail. And I’m sure he’d have told you if you’d have been around when it happened.”

Luke winced, and Alex shook his head, squeezing Luke’s knee. “It wasn’t a criticism, Luke.”

“Yeah, but—”

“No,” Alex interrupted, pressing both hands to Luke’s face and squishing his cheeks just a little. “Reg has spent a lot of nights at my house in the past few years, okay? His parents were shitty, and you had a lot going on with yours. Of course I know a bunch of things that might not have come up yet between you and him, but—” he shook his head. “You know Reg loves you. You’re his best friend just as much as I am.” He made a funny face, and Luke laughed despite himself.

Alex grinned brightly, looking very pleased with himself, and said, “Come on. Tell me you understand. And that you’ll talk to him.”

Luke glowered at him, but he smiled too.

“I understand,” he parrotted dutifully. “And I’ll talk to him.”

--------------

APRIL 1995

The energy in the room after their gig was electric, and Luke was thriving on it.

He’d bounced from person to person enthusiastically as soon as he’d gotten off the stage, chatting animatedly with everyone who stopped him, engaging with their fans—they had fans!—and spinning people around on the dancefloor. Alex and Reggie and Bobby were there too, and Luke occasionally bumped into them, found Bobby flirting hard with a girl with copper hair and a grin so sharp Luke instinctively flinched away from it, found Alex and Reggie nursing sodas at the bar before he managed to drag them both onto the dancefloor with him.

He lost them almost as soon as they actually got onto the dancefloor.

Alex was swept away by a handsome young guy Luke vaguely remembered seeing at a few of their other gigs—that he had seen Alex make out with before, pressed up against the wall with his hands shoved into the guy’s back pockets, after their last gig—and Reggie dove headfirst into a throng of enthusiastic girls, spinning them around and laughing ecstatically.

Luke watched, a bit of a knot in his stomach, as one of the girls threw her arms around Reggie’s neck and danced pressed up close against him. Reggie laughed again, bright and happy and so goddamn beautiful and Luke loved him, so much that he was breathless with it, that he was sure that Reggie had to know, because there was no way Luke was being subtle about it.

Reggie didn’t know though, because Luke hadn’t said anything, because Luke was scared shitless.

Luke hadn’t paid much attention to who Reggie did or didn’t date in the past, mostly because he’d been very preoccupied trying to find something that felt even remotely like those first few months with Alex, but now that he was, he couldn’t help but notice that Reggie was as much of a flirt as he himself was—if not more of one.

In the two months since Luke had actively started paying attention to it, he’d seen Reggie flirt with literally everyone he talked to, ranging from Alex and Bobby and Luke himself to girls and boys at their gigs to even his guitar once, and make out with a grand total of eleven different people—not that Luke was keeping track or anything.

He jolted forward when Bobby bumped into him, slinging an arm around him and grinning. Luke could smell beer on his breath and winced a little—none of them ever really drank, except Bobby, who was a year older and considered it his right as a prospective rockstar to drink whenever he wanted to.

“You’re staring,” Bobby shouted in his ear, still barely audible above the steady thump of the bass.

“No, I’m not,” Luke denied automatically, but his eyes drifted back towards Reggie before he’d even finished speaking, and he didn’t need to hear Bobby to know he was scoffing at him.

“You really are,” Bobby snorted, tossing an arm around Luke’s shoulder and steering him away from where Reggie was dancing. Luke let himself be led reluctantly, managing a smile when Alex caught his eye, and turned his attention to Bobby.

“When did you figure it out?” he asked as soon as they’d reached the bar and Bobby managed to procure more beer—Luke took his without comment, figuring that it wouldn’t hurt to have one once.

Bobby shook his head and took a long gulp from his beer before he admitted, “You’re not exactly subtle about it, man. All you do during rehearsal is stare at him. And then sharing your mic…” He broke off and shook his head again. “I’m not an idiot, I can add up two and two.”

Luke sighed. “Do you think Reggie knows?”

Bobby snorted a laugh and shook his head. “Nah. Alex does, though.”

“Yeah,” Luke shrugged, “I mean I told him, of course Alex knows.” Luke really couldn’t keep anything from Alex—had never been able to—so it really shouldn’t be such a surprise that Alex knew about this too. Exes or not, he and Alex were best friends and they were close—Bobby knew that.

That was why Luke reeled back in surprise when Bobby sneered, “Oh, of course.”

“Dude,” he frowned, “What the hell?”

Bobby rolled his eyes dismissively, shaking his head. “What? You can’t be surprised that I’m a little pissed I’m the last one to know something again.”

Luke gaped at his friend, unsure about where the hell that came from, when Reggie popped up beside them, leaning heavily against Luke’s back, snatching his beer from his hand without even looking at it and taking a long, deep drink.

“Oh, yuck,” he wrinkled his nose and frowned at Luke, shoving the bottle back in his hand. “Why are you drinking beer? It’s so gross.”

Luke wrinkled his nose right back, momentarily distracted from Bobby’s shitty mood, and pointed out, “No one said you had to try drinking it.” Reggie pouted and slung his arms around Luke’s neck, pressing up fully against his back, and Luke did his best not to choke on his own tongue.

“I’m thirsty,” Reggie whined. “I’ve been dancing for ages and it’s so hot, and I tried to find Alex because I know he always has water, but I can’t find him, and then I found you!”

He sounded so damn delighted about it, and Luke’s treacherous heart did a tiny flip in his chest, and he couldn’t quite stop himself from leaning back into Reggie. Bobby rolled his eyes at him, but stayed quiet, and Luke was grateful that whatever had caused Bobby’s shitty mood, it wasn’t so shitty he’d out Luke’s feelings to Reggie.

“Have either of you seen Alex?” Reggie asked, his breath warm and moist against Luke’s cheek.

“Last I saw he was dancing,” Luke shrugged, and Bobby turned to survey the dance floor. Luke ordered a soda for Reggie, who cheered quietly when the bartender pressed the bottle into his hand and smacked a wet, impulsive kiss to Luke’s cheek before he pulled away to drink.

Luke tried very hard to remember how to breathe.

“Oh,” Bobby exclaimed, pointing towards the other end of the club, “there he is!” He turned back to Luke and Reggie and waggled his eyebrows. “Looks like someone’s getting lucky tonight.”

Luke raised an eyebrow and turned to look at where Bobby was pointing, Reggie moving with him.

Alex was leaning against the wall next to the stage, the guy Luke had seen him dancing with earlier—and making out with a week or so ago—standing pressed up against him, one hand tangled in Alex’s hair while they kissed, the other clutching at the back of his shirt so tightly it looked like it was the only thing holding him upright.

It’d been a while, but Luke had kissed Alex before.

He remembered feeling a little like his legs were going to give out from under him too.

“Good for him,” Luke chuckled, turning back to the bar to retrieve his drink. He didn’t think Alex had dated anyone, really, since they’d broken up—Luke couldn’t recall ever seeing him with anyone at parties either—and now Luke had seen him with this guy twice already?

He was happy to see Alex letting himself be happy.

“Yeah,” Reggie squeaked, spinning around on his heel, to face Luke again, eyes wide and a little frantic. “So good for him. Totally.” He eyed Luke with an expression that bordered on desperate and said, “I guess we’re both crashing at the studio tonight.”

Luke frowned a little, because he could tell Reggie was rattled, and he wasn’t sure why Alex making out with someone would inspire that reaction in his other friend. “Hey man, you okay?” he asked Reggie as quietly as he could while still making himself heard over the thump of the music, catching one of Reggie’s flailing hands in his.

“Of course I am,” Reggie squawked, turning his wide green eyes on Luke. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

He glanced over his shoulder again and then abruptly said, “I’m gonna—I wanna go home, so I’ll just go pack up my stuff and start walking, yeah? I mean, Bobby’s obviously not ready to go—” he gestured wildly at their other best friend, who had turned to talk to an attractive girl sitting on his other side, and then to Alex, “and who knows when Alex is gonna be ready, so I’ll just put my stuff in his car and then walk back to the studio, it’s not that far, I don’t mind.”

“I’ll go with you,” Luke blurted before he could think about it, before he could bring up any of the hundred arguments for them to stay here. “I’ll walk back with you. I’m more than ready to go too.”

Reggie blinked.

“I’m serious,” he said before Reggie could protest, because going back to the empty studio with Reggie did somehow sound better than staying here. He tapped Bobby on the shoulder and told him they were leaving, ignoring the significant look the other boy gave him before he turned back to Reggie. “Come on,” he said, “Let’s go.”

Reggie was still looking at him, wide-eyed and bemused, but let Luke guide him back to the stage to collect their guitars and amps, making two trips to bring everything out to Alex’s car—Luke had the spare key, so they thankfully didn’t need to interrupt Alex. Reggie looked back at Luke when they’d locked the car doors again and said, smiling a wobbly smile, “Last chance to go back to dancing with those girls.”

Luke snorted, slinging an arm around Reggie’s shoulder and tugging him close. “You were the one dancing with a dozen girls at once, pal.”

Reggie’s cheeks flushed and he ducked his head, but Luke could tell he was smiling.

And maybe… maybe he wasn’t ready for this to change just yet.

The intensity of what he felt for Reggie still caught him off guard sometimes, and he wasn’t always sure what to do with it. He didn’t know if he could deal if Reggie didn’t feel the same way, or even if he did—whatever the outcome of Luke telling Reggie how he felt, their friendship and relationship was going to change, and…

And he didn’t think he was ready for that.

He glanced towards Reggie, who was still blushing and smiling bashfully, and smiled too.

He wasn’t ready yet.

But he would be.

Soon.

--------------

11 JULY 1995

Luke settled back into the comfortable couch cushions, feeling more relaxed than he had in a while.

He still hadn’t spoken directly to his parents, hadn’t been able to set aside his pride, and he hadn’t told Reggie how he felt about him yet, but things were going great for the band and all of them personally—Luke’s own less than stellar love life notwithstanding—and that was enough, for now.

Bobby had been talking about moving out of his parents’ house, about finding an apartment nearby, and since he’d been saving up as much money as he could for literally the entire time Luke had known him, he didn’t doubt that the other boy could and would probably do it soon. Bobby’s parents had never been shitty or unsupportive towards him, but Luke knew that Bobby’s dad was losing patience with his adult son living in his house for free while trying to make it as a rockstar.

Still, Bobby managed to secure a job in a local coffee shop, working early morning and a couple of afternoon shifts so his schedule wouldn’t clash with their rehearsals, and Luke was glad to see Bobby excited about something other than girls and music.

The idea of a place of their own—that wasn’t a garage that had been converted into a music studio—was catching though, and Reggie had floated the idea of maybe saving up a little and then getting a place with the three of them. Luke certainly wasn’t opposed to living with Reggie and Alex—he lived with them now too, for all intents and purposes, in closer quarters than an apartment would put them—but he did wonder how they’d manage it.

It wasn’t like any of them were entirely broke—not even Luke, who didn’t actually have a job.

To be fair, his parents were probably funneling some money his way too, because his card hadn’t been declined yet, not even the time that Reggie had tripped over loose wires during rehearsal and had fallen right into Alex, sending them both crashing into the drumset, putting someone’s knee straight through one of the skins. The cost to replace it had been staggeringly high and Luke had covered it because he was the only one who’d had enough money.

Their gigs were bringing in some money too, and Reggie had managed to collect a relatively steady income by teaching a gaggle of excitable kids even more chaotic than he was to play guitar and piano, and Alex still had access to his allowance and was slowly moving it into his own savings account—one that his parents didn’t have access to—but apartments were expensive and even with the rent split three ways…

Luke didn’t know how they’d manage until they managed to get a massive gig.

They were trying.

People knew who they were, they had actual fans and Luke had dropped off more than two dozen demos at various record labels, talent scouts and agents’ offices, and they were getting somewhere.

That blossoming success was what brought them all here to begin with. Bobby had demanded they all meet him at the studio a few hours ago, and while they’d all shown up—which was maybe not that impressive, considering two of them lived there—Bobby was still nowhere to be found.

Reggie was sprawled on his back on the couch, his head resting on Alex’s lap while he talked animatedly about spending the day with Maggie, waving his hands excitedly—narrowly avoiding smacking Alex in the face several times—while their best friend looked down at him with a fond, mildly exasperated expression. Alex had made a face when Reggie had gracelessly sprawled across the couch and his lap, but Luke had caught the indulgent grin the blond had shot their friend too.

Reggie had been a little more clingy in the past few weeks, and when Luke had commented on it, Bobby had sighed and said softly, kindly, “He’s had Alex—and you, but especially Alex—all to himself for years, and now Alex is seeing this new guy, and we all know Reggie’s got abandonment issues, man. He’s probably just worried about losing you both when you fall in love with someone else.”

Of course, then he’d ruined the moment by elbowing Luke in the side and smirking, “Not that that’s going to happen anytime soon, is it?”

His words had made a lot of sense though, and so Luke had tried to make sure that Reggie knew that whatever happened, they’d always be there—he thought Alex must’ve picked up on Reggie’s anxiety too, because he let Reggie drape himself all over him before and after rehearsals and stayed with him and Luke at the studio more nights than he usually did.

“And then she told me to tell you that she’s gonna come over after dance class because she still has so much to teach you because it’s been so long,” Reggie’s voice broke Luke from his thoughts, and he looked up to find Alex grinning down at Reggie.

“It has been a while,” he agreed. “She’ll probably have to teach me everything all over again.”

“Ah well,” Reggie shrugged, reaching up to pat Alex’s cheek. “At least you’re pretty.”

Luke snorted a laugh and Alex lobbed the nearest object—a pillow from the couch—in Luke’s direction before poking Reggie in the side in retaliation. Luke caught the pillow just as Reggie squeaked and rolled off the couch to escape Alex’s poking fingers, grinning unrepentantly at his friend, and tucked it between his back and the back of his chair.

Reggie pouted at Luke from where he now lay, sprawled on the floor. “See how mean he is to me?”

Alex rolled his eyes and Luke laughed as Reggie heaved himself back up the couch, eyeing Alex suspiciously before he tipped sideways again, swinging his legs up over Alex’s lap this time. “Maggie gave me her bracelet too,” Reggie told them, holding up his arm so they could both see the string of brightly colored beads and charms that they’d made for Maggie on her last birthday wrapped around his wrist.

Reggie grinned and said, “She said it’d bring us luck. I figured we could use all the luck we could get.”

“Yeah,” Alex agreed, patting Reggie’s ankle. “Hey, speaking of which, do either of you know why Bobby had me call in my favor with Micheal Levin?”

Luke sat up abruptly. “You called in your favor with Levin?” he demanded, staring at Alex. “He had me call Dave Harris for him.”

Reggie frowned and looked between him and Alex in confusion before admitting, “He had me make three more copies of the demo and order a bunch more t-shirts.” He glanced between Luke and Alex and asked, “What the hell is he up to?”

“I guess we’ll hear soon enough,” Alex said, ever the peacemaker.

Luke huffed in annoyance, but conceded the point and leaned back as Alex and Reggie fell silent too.

Luke stared up at the ceiling quietly and mused on whether it was time to order pizza yet. It had to be nearly six, and he was hungry, and waiting for Bobby to show up and explain himself was slowly driving him insane.

He was supposed to be here two hours ago.

“We’re doing the right thing,” he asked quietly, giving voice to the fear that had been plaguing him ever since he had run out of his parents’ house. “Right? We’re going to make it.”

“Of course we are,” Reggie told him, equally quietly, rolling his head to the side to smile softly when Luke turned his head to look back at him. “We’re gonna be so good, and everyone will see that we were always right, that we were always gonna be great.”

“I’ve never wanted anything else this much in my life,” Luke admitted. “What if we don’t—”

“We will.” Alex was quiet for a beat. “And if not, we’ll figure something out.”

The garage door swung open, shattering the quiet, intimate moment, and Bobby came running in, skidding to a halt right in front of the couch, panting slightly. “Guys,” he wheezed, waving a crumpled paper he had clutched in his fist. “Guys—it worked. We did it—we’re in.”

Luke sat up slowly, staring at Bobby in confusion.

“Bobby,” Reggie said slowly as he sat up too. “What are you—”

“The Orpheum,” Bobby huffed, waving the papers again. “Guys. I got us a showcase at The Orpheum. We’re playing the motherfucking Orpheum!”

------

22 JULY 1995

Well.

Dying really fucking sucked.

The End.

Continued In ‘Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure’.

READ IT HERE:

Start from the beginning:

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

Unfinished Business:

(1) (2) (3)

Or read it HERE (BaMBaT) or HERE (UB) on AO3 :D

#Julie and the phantoms #Julie and the himbos #Alex/reggie #Luke/reggie #Luke patterson #reggie peters #Alex mercer #bambat #ub #unfinished business #Jatp fanfic #Lisa writes #my writing

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cuthian · 3 years

Text

Unfinished Business

Hi everyone!

Welcome to this little prequel to Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure.

In this, we'll see how Alex and Reggie ended up messing around for so long, why they kept messing around and how they dealt with the changes in their lives as they happened.

Thanks to everyone on the JatP discord server for being my soundboard when I needed one ;)

I have NO clue how long it'll take me to write the second part of this, and I sincerely apologise if it takes me a few weeks - it very well might, since Uni is kicking my butt.

Love Annaelle

Unfinished Business

“You and I will Always Be Unfinished Business.”

— unknown author

PART ONE

DECEMBER 1991

ALEX

See, Alex… Alex was fine with the breakup.

He was. It’d been his idea too—he and Luke were much better off as friends, as bandmates, than they were as boyfriends—but… well, Alex had been in love with Luke, brief as it might’ve been, and he found it harder than he had thought he would to see Luke flirting with someone else.

“Hey,” Reggie said, popping up beside him with two bottles of soda in his hand, watching Alex twirl his sticks restlessly between his fingers. “You okay?”

He handed one of the bottles he was holding to Alex and it wasn’t until Alex had taken a few sips that he realized Reggie had somehow conned him out of his drumsticks, which had now taken up residence in Reggie’s back pocket. “I’m fine,” he said belatedly, but even he could tell that it was unconvincing at best, and Reggie frowned at him.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” Reggie told him, eyes wide and his expression sincere. “Can’t be easy, what with Luke…” he glanced over his shoulder to their best friend, who seemed to be doing his best to get intimately acquainted with the girl’s tonsils.

“Just,” Reggie sighed. “If you need something, I’m here, okay?” He looked to the side, where Bobby was trying—and failing—to impress the bartender, probably to score a beer of some kind. “Bobby too.”

“Yeah,” Alex sighed, sagging back against the stage. “Just… I don’t want this to affect us. The band. I agreed with the breakup, I still agree with it, I just…” he shrugged helplessly and Reggie nudged their shoulders together lightly, and brief as the contact was, it did make him feel better.

“People say it takes a while to get over your first girlfriend,” Reggie said sympathetically. “I’m sure that’s true for boyfriends too. But I’m sure there’ll be others.” He grinned bright and happy and Alex was kind of helpless to smile back. “You’re awesome, bro. Everyone else’s gonna see that too.”

Alex’s cheeks flushed, but he smiled too.

“Thanks, Reg.” He leaned sideways a little to press their shoulders together. “You’re a good friend.”

“Always the tone of surprise,” Reggie chuckled, but he smiled too.

---------------

MARCH 1992

Alex sat cross-legged on Reggie’s bed, flipping through one of his comic books as Reggie tried to convince his six-year-old sister to get dressed for her ballet class.

“Mags,” Reggie pleaded, “Come on, you love dancing.”

“I don’t wanna go,” Maggie whined, flopping onto the floor dramatically, kicking her legs out so Reggie couldn’t drag her leotard up her legs anyway, and Alex couldn’t help but smile at the scene.

They’d come over to Reggie’s house to do homework, because ever since he’d come out to his parents, they’d been weird about him having friends over, and as soon as they’d walked in the door, Reggie’s mom—her pupils dilated so much that it couldn’t be healthy—had shoved Maggie at them, telling Reggie to keep her occupied until she was picked up for ballet class.

Alex didn’t mind.

He loved hanging out with Reggie’s baby sister—they all did, even Bobby, though he sometimes grumped about it—and even their homework deadline didn’t really bother him enough to be resentful about it. Reggie, however, seemed a lot more put out by it than he usually was and that, combined with his squirrely, snappish behavior the rest of the week made Alex sure that there was something bothering his friend, and he planned on finding out what it was.

Originally, Luke was supposed to be here too, because no one was as good at wheedling stuff out of Reggie as Luke was, but his parents had grounded him after staying out past his curfew with his newest girlfriend—Alex vaguely wondered how long this one would stick around.

“Okay,” he sighed when Maggie full-on wailed as Reggie wrestled her into her leotards. “Okay, let’s try this a different way.”

He got up from the bed and kneeled on the floor in front of Maggie. “Hey kid,” he said, shooting a wink at Reggie, “Why don’t you wanna go to ballet?” He pouted and said, “If you don’t go, who’s gonna teach me all the dances?”

Maggie stopped kicking her legs and looked at Alex with wide, teary green eyes that were just like Reggie’s. “You’re gonna dance too?”

“Well,” Alex said conspiratorially, leaning towards her a little, pretending to keep Reggie out, even though he knew Reggie could still hear them perfectly well, “I would love to learn how to dance, but I’m not allowed to go to the classes anymore, ‘cause I’m too big.”

Maggie gasped theatrically, and Alex made sure to keep his expression solemn as he nodded. “So,” he said. “If you can go to the class and then teach me all the moves, I’ll be able to dance with you.”

Maggie nodded at him with wide eyes. “Okay, Alex!”

She then turned to her brother again and said, “Reggie, you have to do my hair!”

Reggie exhaled shakily but smiled at her anyway. “Yeah, okay, Mags. Go get your brush.”

Maggie ran from the room, chattering at a loud volume about all the things she was going to teach Alex as soon as she came home from class. Alex leaned back on his heels and looked at Reggie, who was still staring out into the hallway. “Are you okay?” Alex asked quietly, resting his hand on Reggie’s shoulder.

Reggie looked back at him, eyes wide, and Alex could see him considering to lie.

“You can tell me anything,” he said immediately. “Now, or later, or in three weeks or a year. Anything.”

Alarmingly, Reggie’s eyes became glassy with unshed tears for a second before he blinked hard and swallowed. “Yeah, okay.” He turned away from Alex, and all Alex wanted to do was hug his friend to make whatever was bothering him go away. “Can we talk about it later?” he then asked hoarsely, still not quite looking at Alex. “When Maggie’s—”

“Yeah, of course,” Alex nodded, just as Maggie skidded back into the room clutching her sparkly blue hairbrush and glittery butterfly scrunchies.

They spent the next half hour trying to get Maggie’s hair into a knot-free, neat bun that had an appropriate number of butterflies—apparently, the correct number of butterflies was all of them—before the doorbell rang and Maggie ran downstairs with her bag slung around her shoulder, screaming goodbye at them and reminding Alex she would be teaching him the moves she learned today before the door slammed shut behind her.

Four minutes later, Reggie’s mom shouted, “I’m going out. There’s money on the counter for pizza. Make sure to give your sister some,” and the door slammed shut again.

Alex looked at Reggie in concern, because as soon as the door slammed shut, he seemed to shrink in on himself, and Jesus—Alex really wanted to know what was going on. “Reg,” he tried, but Reggie just shook his head and got to his feet, starting to get his school books from his backpack without looking at Alex, and he was worried now.

“Reggie,” he sighed, getting to his feet slowly. Reggie stayed at his desk, but he’d stopped moving, and when Alex brushed his hand against his arm, he exhaled in a shuddering gasp.

“What if I like boys too?” Reggie suddenly blurted, turning to look at Alex with wide, terrified eyes. “I’m not gay—I’m not, because I love girls, but I—” he looked around a little wildly and shrugged helplessly, “There’s—I—sometimes I look at Lu—at guys and I wonder what it’d be like to—”

Alex stared at Reggie, mouth hanging open just a little, because he wasn’t—he wasn’t sure what to say.

“I don’t know if I want to kiss another guy,” Reggie said desperately, “But then sometimes it’s all I can think about, but then I still can’t stop staring at the cheerleaders, or I still get blown away when Claire Johnson wears those really short shorts, you know, so it’s not—I don’t think I’m gay.” He looked up at Alex with a pleading expression and said, “How did you know?”

Alex heaved a sigh, running his hand through his hair as he sat down on Reggie’s bed heavily. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I guess… the same way you knew that you liked girls.”

“But I don’t know that anymore,” Reggie cried, throwing up his hands before he collapsed on the bed beside Alex. “How do you even know you wanna kiss a guy?”

Alex couldn’t quite take his eyes off of him, couldn’t focus really, and—

And later, Alex wouldn’t be able to justify, even to himself, what made him say it, but the words that came out of his mouth were, “I don’t know. Just kiss me, see how that feels.”

Reggie’s eyes snapped open and his jaw dropped, and Alex’s cheeks abruptly flushed.

“I mean, you don’t—” he stuttered.

“No, okay,” Reggie blurted, sitting up so abruptly he nearly smashed his face into Alex’s. They stared at each other, and Alex suddenly felt like the biggest asshole ever, because was this—was he taking advantage of Reggie? Alex had never really questioned his sexuality because he’d always kind of known that he liked boys a lot more than he liked girls.

He’d thought that maybe there was something wrong with him for a little while, but he’d never doubted.

“Reg,” he whispered, “You don’t have to—”

“I want to,” Reggie cut him off, leaning in so close Alex could feel the heat radiating from the other boy’s skin, his eyes fastened on Alex’s lips.

“Okay,” Alex breathed, and Reggie’s slim, strong fingers curled in the fabric of Alex’s shirt, drawing him closer so they shared a single breath before Reggie’s lips brushed across his.

Alex held his breath for a long, drawn-out moment before he remembered that he should probably kiss Reggie back, that that was actually what Reggie had asked for. It was… it was a really simple, almost sweet kiss—their lips pressed together chastely and Reggie's lips were really soft and tasted like the apple he’d eaten earlier, and Alex kind of wanted to press harder, hold him tighter, but he didn’t dare to because he didn’t know what Reggie needed or even wanted—or even if that were something Alex himself wanted.

They kissed chastely for an indeterminable time, before Reggie leant back, smiling lightly.

“So,” Alex choked, cheeks burning with heat when Reggie chuckled. “Boys too?”

Reggie nodded and smiled a bright smile. “Definitely boys too.”

--------------

MAY 1992

Alex had grown used to, over the years, leaving his bedroom window open just a crack so either or both of his best friends could crawl in after intense fights with their parents. There was a conveniently placed tree just outside his window that both Luke and Reggie had utilized several times to climb up into Alex’s room when they just needed to get away for a little while.

He’d woken up to find one or both of them in his room—even in his bed—dozens of times over the years and he was so used to it that he barely even stirred anymore when he heard someone crawl into the window, tiptoe into the room and drop a backpack.

There was a sudden thump and a muffled curse, and Alex, his eyes still mostly shut, raised his head from his pillow just enough to slur, “Mrgi?”

“Yeah,” Reggie whispered back, “Go back to sleep, it’s just me.”

“Mmkay,” Alex hummed and let Reggie shove him over a little so he could fit into the bed with him, settling against his best friend more comfortably.

He fell asleep again immediately.

When he woke up the next morning, Reggie was still there and they were lying very nearly nose to nose, sharing Alex’s single pillow—and with how often his friends crashed with him, he really should get another pillow. Because they were lying so close together, it took Alex a minute to notice the discoloration around Reggie’s eye and the faint trace of blood in one of his nostrils.

“Reggie,” he whispered, devastated to see him hurt like this again, reaching out to touch the bruised skin lightly, but Reggie caught his hand before he could make contact.

“It was my fault,” Reggie choked. “I got in their way. I should’ve stayed out of it.”

Alex dropped his hand, resting it on Reggie’s bicep instead, rubbing his thumb across the soft skin there. “It’s never your fault, Reg,” he said sternly. “It’s on them, not on you.”

Reggie looked away. “Maybe.”

Alex’s heart twisted painfully and he hated seeing his friend like this. He’d always hated seeing Reggie—sweet, cheerful, bubbly Reggie, who somehow always managed to make Alex and the others’ bad days better just by being there—so put down by the shitty stuff that his parents did.

He hated it more when Reggie showed up with bruises.

It happened rarely—very rarely—but it had happened before.

“You deserve so much better,” Alex told Reggie quietly. “I’m gonna keep telling you that until you believe me. And Luke and Bobby too.”

Reggie looked back at him and smiled weakly, and it felt like the most natural thing he’d ever done to bridge that tiny gap between them and press his lips to Reggie’s. He felt, rather than heard, Reggie’s surprised little inhale before the other boy relaxed and kissed back, shuffling just that little bit closer and resting his hand on Alex’s cheek.

“Okay?” Alex whispered when they broke apart to breathe.

Reggie looked at him, green eyes wide and surprised, and then smiled, slowly. “Yeah. Okay.” He was quiet for a second and then said, “I mean, it was way better last time, without the morning breath—” and then laughed hysterically as Alex hit him in the face with the pillow.

--------------

MAY to NOVEMBER 1992

See, the thing… the thing was that it kind of kept happening.

They didn’t talk about it much – if at all – but Alex still kept finding himself secreted away in a corner, kissing the living daylights out of Reggie, or dancing up against the other boy after one of their gigs, or holding hands as they walked home or spooning when Reggie inevitably ran to his house during his parents’ intense arguments.

And the thing was… the thing was that it was nothing like what he’d had with Luke.

With Luke, he’d had butterflies in his stomach every time he looked at him, his insides turning into warm mush when they kissed and his cheeks heating in a blush whenever Luke held his hand and aimed that thousand-megawatt-smile at him.

He’d been proper in love with Luke.

Whatever it was that he and Reggie were doing, it didn’t feel like that.

It wasn’t any less meaningful because of that though.

Alex loved Reggie, as much as he’d ever loved Luke, but he was not in love with him – Reggie was his best friend and one of the most important people in his life, and no matter how much they fooled around, he didn’t think that could ever change.

--------------

JANUARY 1993

“I’m not in love with you,” Reggie told him dryly one afternoon when Luke was out on a date and Bobby went to work a shift at a nearby coffee bar, and he and Alex were alone in the studio. Alex, who had actually been enjoying just hanging out with his best friend without having much to do, looked up at Reggie, who’d been messing with his guitar, with a frown.

“I—” he blinked. “I know? I’m not in love with you either.”

Reggie’s expression cleared, and he grinned widely. “Oh, good. That would’ve been weird.”

Alex snorted a laugh. “Really? We’ve been messing around for months, but me being in love with you would’ve been the weird part?”

Reggie wrinkled his nose and shrugged dramatically. “Well, I mean, it took you and Luke forever to act normal around each other again after you dated and I don’t want that to happen to us, you know.” He plucked at the strings of his bass restlessly, pouting just a tiny bit.

Alex smiled tightly and looked down.

He couldn’t deny he had worried about that too the first time Reggie had kissed him, or the first time he’d kissed Reggie, or the time after that, when it’d become clear that this was something they did now.

“I guess,” Alex sighed, “we’ll just have to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

Reggie nodded vigorously and then carefully settled down his guitar before he moved over to Alex and straddled him. Alex, who hadn’t quite been expecting this, stared at him, his hands settling on Reggie’s waist automatically. “I,” Reggie said with a smug grin, “am gonna kiss you again.”

“Uh,” Alex tried, but before he could say anything, Reggie did exactly that. Alex gasped, because he really hadn’texpected this, but he didn’t resist as Reggie kissed him hungrily, deeply, their lips sliding together wetly before Alex remembered he could be an active participant and took control of the kiss, licking his way into Reggie’s mouth and—oh.

Sometimes he forgot why he and Reggie kept messing around.

Sometimes he forgot that they were great at this.

His hands and arms moved of their own accord, an arm slipping around Reggie’s waist, the other boy’s fingers tangling in his hair to keep him in place.

Kissing Reggie always kind of felt like an electric shock, like trying to contain a livewire, Alex’s skin burning and tingling where Reggie touched him, and a burning throb ignited somewhere deep in his stomach. He kissed Reggie back fiercely, sloppily even, but with everything he had, and anchored his fingers in his best friend’s belt loops as he held on for dear life.

Reggie groaned quietly against his lips, a deep, wanton sound that made something deep inside Alex’s stomach clench. It felt like a slow fire burning its way through his veins; as though Reggie had lit a fire somewhere deep inside of him that no one but him would be able to quench or satisfy.

And right then, Alex didn’t care anymore that Luke or Bobby could walk in on them, that they’d have to explain something they couldn’t even really explain to themselves—

But then Reggie moved again, tilting his head a little, and his tongue slid against Alex’s again—and it was too much, Alex couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think—he jerked his head back, gasping for breath as Reggie stared at him, his lips wet and a little swollen. “I don’t—” Alex choked, “I mean—I couldn’t breathe—”

“Oh,” Reggie said, and then, “Should we stop?”

Alex panted heavily, fingers clenching in Reggie’s shirt. “No,” he heard himself say. “No, I don’t want to stop.” Reggie grinned, delighted, and leaned in to kiss him again—a short, hard kiss—before he pulled back again and said, “Take off your shirt and lie down. I wanna try something.”

Alex flushed crimson. “Reg,” he choked, but Reggie shook his head and got to his feet.

“Nuh-uh,” he smirked. “Don’t protest. If I do this right, you’re gonna love it.”

Alex went to protest again, unsure of what Reggie had in mind, unsure if they should be doing this in the studio at all, but then Reggie kissed him again, and shit—

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to take a few risks every now and then.

When the kiss broke, Alex inhaled sharply and let Reggie divest him of his shirt and push him down onto his back, Reggie’s hands skimming down his chest, fingers slipping teasingly underneath the waistband of his pants. “See,” Reggie muttered, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw, then his neck, and then his chest, “Luke talks a lot when he’s drunk. About girls, about kissing, about sex—”

Alex groaned when Reggie scraped his teeth on the sensitive skin just above his belly button.

“—and sometimes,” Reggie chuckled, “he talks about you. And now… Now I kind of wanna know—” he edged Alex’s underwear down just a little, “—if it really is that much fun.” He glanced up at Alex from beneath his eyelashes and Christ, he was gonna kill him—

And then Reggie ducked down and took Alex in his mouth and Alex’s brain kind of fizzed out for a while.

--------------

MARCH 1993

Playing a book club had been Luke’s idea.

It had not been his best, but it certainly wasn’t his worst idea either. The group of fifteen women and a few men, all their parents’ age, had been enthusiastic about the songs to the point that all four of them had wondered what kind of book club they’d wandered into, and they seemed pretty set on feeding them so much food they could roll out of the door.

Alex had been herded over to one of the armchairs once they’d finished their set, a plate filled with snacks pressed into his hands and Luke sitting on the armrest beside him, both of them staring, bemused, at Reggie.

Reggie, who had walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water and walked back out with a girl their own age, flirting like his life depended on it—that in itself wasn’t so very unusual, but the thing was… the thing was that it was working. The girl, a pretty blonde with a bright grin and a Queen t-shirt, was hanging off his every word, and Alex was…

Alex was baffled.

She kept laughing at whatever Reggie said to her, putting her hand on his arm and flipping her hair over her shoulder and—and—

Reggie was not that funny.

He was an idiot and an amazing friend and a great songwriter—even if all he wrote were country songs—and a pretty damn good kisser, but—

But he was hardly ever funny on purpose.

“You’re seeing this, right?” Luke asked, sounding as baffled as Alex felt. “I’m not dreaming?”

Alex raised an eyebrow at his best friend and ex-boyfriend and snorted, “You dream about Reggie trying to pick up girls?”

Luke snorted a laugh and slapped at his shoulder before stuffing another cupcake in his mouth and leaning back to watch Reggie’s attempt at picking up a girl. Alex was… Alex was pretty sure he was supposed to feel jealous or annoyed or hurt or something—things one usually felt when watching the person they were intimately involved with flirt with someone else—but all he could think about was that he hoped it worked out for Reggie.

He looked for a few more minutes before he let Luke drag him into a conversation about their setlist and a song they’d been working on together. Luke was trying to convince Alex to take lead vocals on at least one verse, but Alex wasn’t thatconfident about his voice—not compared to Luke’s anyway.

Still, he let Luke chatter at him about it—maybe it would be cool to do lead vocals.

Reggie looked breathless and giddy by the time he collapsed on the other armrest of Alex’s chair, cheeks flushed and his hair messy. Alex and Luke turned to him as one, and Alex didn’t need to look over his shoulder to know that Luke would be smirking at Reggie with the exact same expression that Alex wore too. “You having fun?” Luke drawled, one hand on Alex’s shoulder as he leaned towards Reggie.

Reggie grinned and shrugged. “Hey, I can’t help being this irresistible.”

Alex snorted in disbelief, and Reggie’s mouth dropped open in exaggerated indignation. Before any of them could say anything though, Bobby appeared from wherever he’d been hiding, coming up behind Reggie and slinging an arm around his shoulder—Reggie nearly toppled over into Alex’s lap—crowing, “Holy shit, man. How’d you manage to land the hottest girl here?”

Reggie blushed and looked down, bashful all of a sudden, but when he looked up, he met Alex’s eye right on to offer him a small, apologetic smile, and…

And that was that.

Alex found he didn’t mind.

Much.

--------------

LATE AUGUST 1993

“I had sex with someone at Bible Camp,” Alex blurted without thinking, cutting across Luke’s story abruptly. They were in the studio, laying back on the shitty little bed they’d put together in the loft, in case Luke or Reggie or even Alex wanted to spend the night there, and Luke had been trying to tell him what he’d missed in the three weeks he’d been at camp, but Alex had been holding this in for what felt like weeks—though it had only been four days—and he needed to say it.

Luke looked at him with a stricken, astonished expression, and Alex swallowed thickly.

“I slept with someone at Bible Camp,” he repeated, slower and calmer, although his voice wavered just a little and tears burned in his eyes. He looked up at the ceiling, resolute in his decision not to look at Luke, because he wasn’t sure if he could keep talking if he’d look at him. “We’d been flirting since the first day, and I liked him, and he was such a good kisser and—”

The words felt like they were being torn from his lips rather than a voluntary admission, and he curled in on himself automatically, pressing his hand against his breastbone hard, wishing the physical discomfort of the gesture would be enough to make him forget.

It was naturally, not, as he had known it wouldn’t be.

“My parents signed me up for ‘specialized’ group activities this summer,” he continued resentfully. “Which was really just a very fancy way of saying they signed me up for conversion therapy, and—and he… I just—” Alex exhaled shakily and pressed his knuckles against his eyes until he saw little bursts of light erupting behind his closed eyelids.

His head felt heavy and his mind was tired and worn and he just wanted to sleep, but also he needed to get this off his chest and—

Suddenly Luke was kneeling upright beside him, one of his hands on Alex’s shoulder and the other on his thigh. “Start from the beginning,” Luke ordered him gently.

So Alex did.

“I guess I wanted to get back at them,” he admitted. “And I liked him and he liked me. So we just… I just…” he thumped his head back against the mattress. “I don’t even know why I’m upset—it was… it was fine, we had fun, and then we home and—”

“Alex,” Luke whispered, before dragging his fingers through Alex’s hair soothingly.

Alex let out a shaky breath at the touch, rolling his head just a little to the left so his temple rested against Luke’s knee. They’d been so very careful around each other for years, since their break up, and Alex hadn’t realized how much he missed the affectionate touches.Physical touch had always been a sure-fire way to ground and steady him when he felt untethered and unstable and he’d just… he’d just missed the casual affection from Luke.

He squeezed his fingers when Luke slipped his between his own and rested their hands against his chest. He stared ahead blankly as he tried to form some semblance of coherent thought. He felt lighter, oddly, after getting it off his chest, but the knot in the pit of his stomach had not lessened at all, sitting uncomfortably, making his gut churn uneasily.

“I don’t know why I’m upset,” he repeated quietly, shamefully, because he’d… he’d wanted everything that they’d done and he’d enjoyed it too, but…

But…

Luke tugged on his hair softly and smiled before replying, “You’re allowed to be upset when your first time doesn’t go the way you always thought it would.”

Alex looked up at Luke and swallowed thickly. “I guess,” he whispered, “I guess I still thought… after everything, I still thought it’d be you. And then it wasn’t.” Luke let out a small, hurt sound, and Alex shook his head immediately. “No, don’t, I—I’m not pining over you, I’m not in love with you… anymore. I guess I just… never adjusted that expectation.”

It was true—he’d realised he was over Luke quite a while ago. It’d taken him a while to get used to that revelation too, and even longer to decide whether he hated being over Luke more than he had hated having a broken heart.

“I’m sorry,” Luke said, even though there wasn’t anything he should be sorry for.

“Don’t be,” Alex told him seriously. “I got over you a long time ago. Maybe I should’ve waited for someone else, you know? Or maybe it’s just my brain trying to overcomplicate matters because I didn’t stop to think once while we—”

Luke smirked, and Alex felt his cheeks flush crimson. “I’m gonna stop talking now,” he groaned as Luke laughed, reaching out to slap at Luke’s knee reproachfully, but all Luke did was chuckle and flop down beside—and half on top of—him again.

They sat in silence for a while longer, piled together in one big tangle of limbs, passing a bottle of soda back and forth as they stared at the ceiling, Luke humming under his breath quietly.

Alex was just about nodding off, head lolling onto Luke’s shoulder, when the door suddenly slammed open, and they both jumped, limbs flailing as they nearly tumbled off of the loft. “What the hell, bro?” Luke bellowed as he untangled himself from Alex, glaring at the figure that had appeared in the door and was now looking up at them with wide eyes and parted lips and—

Oh. Reggie.

Reggie looked terrible.

His hair was soaked with—with—

Alex couldn’t tell what it was, but it looked far from pleasant, and his eyes were rimmed with red and he was far paler than healthy.

“Reg?”

Luke was already scurrying down the ladder, and Alex followed immediately. Reggie had been doing pretty good, these past few months, ever since he’d met Ella—the girl he’d met at the book club gig—and started dating her. Even his parents’ constant fighting hadn’t seemed to bother him as much.

“Hey, Reggie,” Alex said, as soon as they reached Reggie, who was still standing in the doorway, almost like he hadn’t really registered they were talking to him. “what happened?”

Reggie’s eyes flitted from him to Luke and back again, and he was wearing an unreadable expression that was wholly unlike him, and Alex had no idea what to make of it. “I—,” Reggie finally said, voice even and void of emotions, “I told Ella that I—that I like boys too. She broke up with me.”

There was a short, painfully awkward silence, in which Luke looked stunned and Alex tried to think of something to say before Luke cleared his throat loudly and said, “Well, that’s her loss, bro.”

Reggie looked up at him with teary eyes. “She threw her milkshake at me. And she said—she said that I couldn’t like both, so that I—obviously I was gay and I shouldn’t have led her on.” He looked on the verge of tears as he said, “I didn’t mean to—I didn’t think I was, I swear.”

And Alex hadn’t had any particular feeling towards Ella before, but he hated her now, and he could tell Luke felt the same.

“Shit, Reg,” Alex said. “You know you didn’t. It doesn’t work like that.”

“Yeah, bro,” Luke piped in, reaching out to grab Reggie’s shoulder to shake him gently. “I like both too, remember?” He shot Reggie one of those warm, gorgeous smiles that Alex had once fallen in love with, that still made him feel better when they were directed at him—and that surely had the same effect on Reggie, who was smiling weakly now.

“She still broke up with me,” he murmured dejectedly.

Alex didn’t have the heart to say anything sarcastic this time and just slung an arm around Reggie, hauling him in for a tight hug, because he could tell that what Reggie needed was someone to show him he was still wanted. “She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on,” he whispered as Reggie’s arms slowly came up to hug him back, and Luke pressed close on Reggie’s other side.

“We love you, Reg,” Luke said firmly.

He propped his chin up on Reggie’s shoulder and shot Alex a small smile that Alex returned wryly.

They’d be okay.

--------------

OCTOBER 1993 (WEDNESDAY)

“I don’t think he’s doing okay,” Alex told Luke in an undertone, glancing over at Reggie, who was talking to their English teacher with an apologetic grimace—he’d forgotten his essay at home in his rush to get to school in time. In fact, he’d only been on time at all this week because Alex had managed to get a secondhand car a few weeks ago and had been picking him up every morning.

“Yeah,” Luke sighed, glancing over at their friend too. “Yeah, I don’t think he is either.”

Since his breakup with Ella a month and a half ago, Reggie had been more subdued in everything they did—he’d stopped slipping his country songs into Luke’s notebook, he hadn’t brought Maggie over to their rehearsals in nearly three weeks and he hadn’t climbed into Luke or Alex’s window in over a month. He looked constantly exhausted and Alex was sure that if he, Luke and Bobby hadn’t taken to buying double lunches and prodding Reggie into having their leftovers, he wouldn’t have eaten anything at school either.

Bobby, who’d been listening quietly, added, “Not much we can do though, is there?”

“I might be able to,” Alex said slowly, turning to look at his other two friends slowly. “My parents are going to the Hamptons for a week starting Friday. Since I’m no longer welcome,” he spat the word resentfully, still pissed at his parents and extended family for being such bigoted assholes, “I’ll have the house to myself. Maybe we can all hole up there for a few days. Get Reggie out of his parents’ house for a while. He can even bring Maggie, we’ve got the spare room.”

“That’s a great idea,” Luke crowed happily, grabbing at his shoulder and shaking him. “It can be like a band retreat!”

Bobby sighed, and Alex wanted to frown at him even before the other boy said, “I don’t wanna spoil things, guys, but there’s no way my parents are gonna be cool with me spending an entire school week with my bandmates. Plus I got three shifts this week, and Luke… I thought you were trying to patch things up with your parents. How’re they gonna take you running off for a whole week?”

Luke sighed heavily and Alex frowned.

“Well, what if you guys come over starting Friday night?” Alex suggested, because he still wanted to get Reggie away from his parents—away from the constant fighting. “We can just do the weekend.”

“That works,” Bobby shrugged.

Luke was biting his lower lip and frowning, but he nodded eventually. “Yeah, I can probably swing that.” He glanced over at Reggie and offered, “Do you want me to convince him?”

Alex shook his head. “Nah, we’ve got social studies together later. I’ll talk to him then.”

Luke nodded and reluctantly retreated to his seat when the teacher finally managed to shake Reggie, who drooped back to his seat with hunched shoulders, and Christ, Alex just wanted to hug him.

He turned his attention to their teacher though, resolving to corner Reggie and talk to him later.

--------------

OCTOBER 1993 (FRIDAY)

In the end, Reggie had barely required any convincing at all.

That in itself told Alex that the fighting at Reggie’s parents’ place had to be extremely bad. When he asked about Maggie, Reggie revealed that Maggie had been spending the night with different friends each time because Reggie had called up their parents to tell them their mother was sick and they didn’t want to risk Maggie catching it.

Alex hated that Reggie needed to take on that kind of responsibility but found it admirable too.

Eventually, Alex bade his parents goodbye on Friday evening, ignoring just how coolly they treated them, and waited for Reggie and the others to show up. While they wouldn’t be staying the whole weekend—or the rest of the week—like Reggie, Luke and Bobby had both admitted they could use some quality band time that wasn’t spent rehearsing, and had convinced their parents to let them spend Friday and Saturday together.

Reggie showed up exactly twenty-three minutes after Alex’s parents left, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder and the bags under his eyes darker and more pronounced than they’d been the previous day, but grinning so brightly that Alex couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“Hey,” he said, stepping back to let Reggie in.

“Hi,” Reggie said, still smiling brightly, waiting until Alex had shut the front door before he walked right up to Alex, dropping his bag unceremonious to the floor and curling his hand around the back of Alex’s neck. Alex barely had a chance to blink before Reggie leaned up onto his toes just a little and kissed him soundly on the lips.

They hadn’t done this in months, not since before Reggie and Ella had started dating, but it was still so very easy to kiss Reggie back and sink into it. He curled his fingers in Reggie’s hair and let Reggie tug him closer by his belt loops until they were pressed together entirely.

Slowly, somewhat reluctantly, he leaned back, although Reggie kept his fingers hooked in his belt loops so Alex couldn’t retreat very far. Reggie looked up at him, green eyes wide, and swallowed thickly. “Okay?” he whispered softly, hopefully.

Alex looked at him intently, tried to think rationally about this, because while they’d done this before dozens of times, Reggie clearly wasn’t doing okay, and Alex didn’t want Reggie to end up doing anything he’d regret later on.

There was, however, no regret anywhere in Reggie’s expression and… and they were eighteen years old, Reggie was his own person, and Alex trusted him.

He trusted him to set his boundaries.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, leaning their foreheads together. “Okay.”

--------

OCTOBER 1993 (SUNDAY)

It’d been nearly three a.m. by the time Luke and Bobby had gone home the previous night and almost four a.m. by the time he and Reggie had stopped talking—and kissing, there had been kissing too—long enough to go to bed themselves.

Unfortunately, Alex’s brain was programmed so that he woke up around eight a.m. at the latest, no matter how late it’d been when he went to sleep, and so here he was.

He guzzled down his coffee, leaning heavily on the counter as he tried to boot up his brain enough to decide what to have for breakfast. It was way more difficult than it reasonably should be.

“You look like you’re thinking way too hard for this time of morning.”

Alex looked up from his cup to find Reggie leaning against the low wall separating the kitchen from the living room in his pajamas, his hair spiked up in gravity defying angles, but the bags under his eyes less pronounced than they’d been on Friday already.

“I was trying to figure out breakfast,” Alex croaked, straightening up a little more.

Reggie yawned and padded into the kitchen, settling on one of the high chairs at the island, blinking lazily. “Are there cornflakes?” He asked.

Alex yawned too. “Probably,” he shrugged, turning to open one of the cupboards, staring into it for a beat too long before he located the box of Coco Puffs. When he turned back, triumphant, the box in his hand, Reggie’s expression had gone from sleepy and barely focused to contemplative and serious, and Alex was so unused to seeing such seriousness on Reggie that he immediately went on alert, nearly dropping the box.

“Reg? You okay?”

Reggie nodded slowly, leaning his chin on his hand as he stared at Alex. “I wanna have sex with you,” he said casually, and Alex did drop the box of cereal then.

“Shit,” Alex breathed, looking down at the mess on the floor before looking back up at Reggie with wide eyes, cheeks burning with what he was sure was a very dark blush, desperately trying to decide which minor disaster to deal with first. The Coco Puffs crunched slightly under his heel when he moved though, and he heaved a sigh before turning to retrieve the dustpan from the cupboard under the sink.

By the time he’d turned back, Reggie had picked up the box of Coco Puffs and was trying—and failing—to contain the spread of Coco Puffs throughout the kitchen.

“You know you can say ‘no’, right?” Reggie said timidly when Alex started sweeping up the spilled cornflakes, looking shyly up at Alex through his eyelashes. “I won’t be mad or anything, I know it’s—” he fell silent and the knot in Alex’s stomach eased off a little.

“Reg,” he sighed, setting down the dustpan and reaching out to rest his hand on Reggie’s arm. “I just—I was surprised. And… you’ve always said you only wanted to sleep with someone when they meant something to you. I don’t want you to do anything you regret.” He swallowed thickly and looked away. “Take it from someone who should’ve waited a little longer.”

He didn’t quite dare to look back up at his best friend, instead busying himself with collecting the final stray Coco Puffs and dropping them onto the dustpan.

“Alex,” Reggie whispered, nudging his fingers against Alex’s jaw until he had to look up. Reggie’s expression was devastatingly earnest and somewhat baffled. “Alex, you’re one of the most important people in my life,” Reggie said seriously. “You’re my best friend. I trust you. You’re never not going to mean something to me. How could I ever regret that?”

And Alex… Alex couldn’t say no to that—but he couldn’t just say yes either.

He got to his feet and emptied the dustpan in the trash before he turned back to Reggie. “It’s not,” he started slowly, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the kitchen island, facing Reggie, “that I don’t want to. But… Reg, I want you to be sure.”

Reggie bit down on his lip and purposefully walked up to Alex, taking his face in his hands and pressing their lips together firmly. Alex melted a little, because Reggie was good at this and he could feel Reggie smile against his lips as he wrapped his arms around Alex’s neck. “Just turn off your brain for once,” Reggie told him in a low voice as soon as he’d leaned back, eyes dark and heavy lidded. “If I don’t want to, I’ll tell you.”

“Yeah,” Alex breathed. “Yeah, okay.”

Reggie grinned and then kissed him again, rougher and more passionate and Alex sank into it, because this was… God, being with Reggie was so easy. The next time Reggie pulled away, they were both breathing hard, and Reggie’s fingers were clenched in his hair and Alex was grasping at the back of Reggie’s shirt. “Yeah?” Reggie asked again.

“Yeah,” Alex breathed, a smile spreading across his face. “Yeah.”

And Reggie laughed, relieved and happy, before he leaned in and kissed him again.

--------------

“Is it go—”

Alex groaned loudly and dropped his head forward to rest against Reggie’s shoulder.

“Reg,” he sighed, “I swear to God, if your next words were going to be ‘is it gonna fit’, I will stop and I will kick you.”

Reggie cackled, a high-pitched sound that abruptly turned into a moan when Alex scraped his teeth over his collarbone in retaliation.

-------------

After, when they were breathless and sweaty, both of them on their backs in Alex’s bed, one of Reggie’s legs slung across Alex’s, the sheets tangled around their feet and their clothes scattered randomly on the floor between the kitchen and Alex’s bedroom, Reggie turned his head towards Alex with a smug, satisfied grin and said, “I told you that this was a great idea.”

Alex chuckled breathlessly and threw a hand up over his head, shaking his head in exasperation.

He was vaguely surprised, actually, that the sense of dread that he’d felt when he’d slept with Mike at Bible Camp wasn’t making an appearance now, but then… it made sense too. It was like Reggie had said earlier—they were such important people in each other’s lives, there was no way Alex would look back on this and regret sharing it with Reggie.

“Yeah,” he finally admitted. “You have your moments.”

-------------

FEBRUARY 1994

Luke sat on the couch, playing a lighthearted, easy tune on his guitar as Alex let Maggie guide him around by the hand. She’d been showing him the steps to all the dances she’d learned in her dance classes enthusiastically, as she had been doing for years—it’d become a tradition, by now, for Reggie to pick up Maggie on Wednesday after dance classes and bring her over to the studio, where Alex would entertain her by letting her teach him the ballet moves she was taught.

Luke and Reggie usually ended up playing songs for them, and Bobby would either sulk about band time being spent with Reggie’s little sister or join them and make up songs for Maggie.

Today, Bobby had to work until five though, and Reggie was napping up on the loft, because when he’d turned up with Maggie he’d looked so tired Alex and Luke were both worried he was gonna fall asleep where he stood. They’d ganged up on him and bullied him into taking a nap, and had resolved to keep Maggie occupied for as long as Reggie needed to catch up on some sleep.

He hadn’t been spending nights with Luke or Alex as often anymore, had cited the need to be home to take care of Maggie as the reason why, but Alex suspected that something else was going on too.

He’d tried to ask Reggie about it when they were alone too, however rare those moments were, but Reggie had become increasingly good at diverting Alex’s attention—and Alex wanted to believe that Reggie would come to him or Luke or even Bobby if something was really wrong.

“Alex,” Maggie tugged on his shirt and frowned at him reproachfully. “You’re not paying attention.”

“Yeah, Alex,” Luke chuckled from his spot on the couch. “Pay attention.”

Alex flipped him off before turning back to Maggie, who was pouting at him. “I’m sorry, Mags,” he said sincerely. “What was the next move?”

“A pirouette,” Maggie insisted, pushing at his hip. “You’ve already done that one.”

“Of course I have,” Alex grinned, straightening up and spinning in a circle. “Like that, Lady Margaret?” He asked teasingly, winking at her as Luke laughed.

Maggie wrinkled her nose. “My name’s Maggie, Alex. And you were doing it wrong,” she said bossily, shoving at him lightly. Alex grinned, but let Maggie move him around as she liked, twirling and turning at her command as Luke laughed and tugged on his guitar strings to produce one of the many songs he and Reggie had written for Maggie over the years.

When Maggie had tired herself out, she flopped dramatically on the couch beside Luke and demanded he show her how to play the guitar. She’d already had drumming lessons with Alex last week—while she was definitely enthusiastic, all they’d really accomplished was teaching her how to be very loud—and she seemed determined to learn every instrument the boys knew.

Luke only grinned before moving the guitar over onto Maggie’s lap and carefully positioning her hands on the chords as he explained how to pluck the strings and how to move her fingers.

Alex couldn’t help but smile at the sight—they did look adorable, Luke with a wide grin and Maggie with a tiny furrow in her brow as she looked down at her hands—before he checked his watch. He glanced up to the loft, where he assumed Reggie was still passed out cold, and then back down at his watch.

He didn’t think Reggie’s parents would even notice if either of their kids didn’t show up, but he didn’t want Reggie to get in trouble for keeping Maggie out too late either.

When he looked up again, Luke caught his eye and Alex could tell the same thought had occurred to Luke. He helped Maggie settle comfortably on the couch with the guitar before he got up and approached Alex. “Do we wake him up?” he said in a low voice, glancing up at the loft.

Alex heaved a sigh. “I really don’t want to.” He glanced towards Maggie, who was still happily plucking on the guitar strings, before returning his gaze to Luke. “You’ve noticed, right? He’s been off, lately. I thought it was getting better, but—”

“Yeah,” Luke sighed. “Yeah, I noticed.” He crossed his arms over his chest and chewed on his lower lip. “He won’t talk to me either, it’s driving me nuts.” He glanced back up at the loft, then at Maggie and then finally back at Alex. “I can walk Maggie home. Can you stay here with him? My mom’s been on my case about school and staying out, I can’t—”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded. “Yeah, no worries, I’ll stick around.”

Luke smiled tightly and clasped his shoulder before he turned back to Maggie and hustled her into packing up her things into the sparkling purple and blue backpack they’d all gotten her for her last birthday. When Luke had wrangled her into putting her shoes and coat back on, she ran over to Alex and threw her arms around his torso.

“Bye Alex,” she squeaked, and Alex couldn’t help but grin.

God, he loves this kid.

“Bye Mags,” he grinned, running a hand through her hair soothingly. “See you next week, ‘kay?”

“Yes,” Maggie said cheerfully. “I’ll have new steps to teach you.” She squeezed her arms around him one more time before she let go and turned to Luke, grabbing the guitarist’s hand. Luke grinned at her before he looked back at Alex, raising his eyebrows in silent question.

You got this?

Alex nodded lightly. He knew Luke didn’t know just how close he and Reggie were, he knew that they probably should’ve told him about whatever the hell it was that they were doing a long time ago, but… but it’d been going on for so long that it felt weirder to bring it up now than to not say anything.

Luke exhaled and then smiled. “Okay,” he said. “okay, let’s go, squirt.”

Alex grinned at him and Maggie as they walked out, closing the door behind them. He waited for their voices to fade away before he sighed, kicked off his shoes and climbed up to the loft.

Reggie was sprawled out on his stomach in the middle of the bed they’d built themselves with a multitude of pillows and blankets and a shitty little mattress, face buried in his pillow and the blankets wrapped around his legs. He was snoring lightly, and Alex couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his best friend sleeping soundly for the first time in God knew how long.

He climbed into the bed too, laying back against one of the pillows next to Reggie and closed his eyes.

Reggie wasn’t the only one dealing with a… tense situation at home. Alex knew his parents were waiting for an opportunity to kick him out, waiting for a reason they could do so without embarrassing themselves in front of their church friends, because God forbid it became common knowledge that they had a gay son.

He expected he had a few more months at most—they’d likely expect him out as soon as he had his high school diploma in hand.

He didn’t really mind.

He was tired of pretending to be someone he wasn’t.

It took him a few moments to realize that Reggie had stopped snoring and another second to notice that the other boy was stirring beside him. “Hey,” he said quietly when Reggie’s eyes—barely visible behind his messy hair—blinked open slowly.

“Hi,” Reggie breathed. “Where’s Maggie?”

“Luke walked her home,” Alex explained, rolling onto his side so he was facing Reggie. “We didn’t wanna wake you up. You looked like you needed the rest.”

Reggie blinked again and then whispered, “Thanks.”

They lay in silence for a little longer before Reggie huffed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. The conflicted, confused expression had returned as soon as he woke up properly, and Alex hated seeing the expression on Reggie’s face.

“Reg,” he sighed. “What’s going on? Are your parents—”

“No,” Reggie shook his head. “No, not… not more than usual.”

Alex frowned and reached out to rest his hand on Reggie’s arm gently. “Then what is it? We can all tell something’s bothering you, Reggie. We wanna help.”

Reggie snorted a derisive laugh, a sound entirely unlike him, and shook off Alex’s hand. “Not with this you don’t. You especially, Alex, trust me.” Alex blinked at him in shock for a second before he sat up, eyeing Reggie contemplatively.

“Reg, come on,” he cajoled. “You know there isn’t anything you can do that’d push me away.”

Reggie shook his head again. “You say that now.”

“And I mean it,” Alex insisted. “Reggie—”

“I’m in love with Luke.”

Reggie sat up abruptly, looking wild and upset as he said it, and something in Alex’s chest twisted painfully. He wasn’t sure if it was because Reggie just confessed to being in love with the only person Alex had ever been in love with or because he’d been hoping, somewhere deep down, that Reggie would’ve said “I’m in love with you,” instead.

He wasn’t even sure if that’s what he wanted.

But.

It would’ve been easier, wouldn’t it, if they’d just be in love with each other?

Why couldn’t things just be easy, for once?

When he looked back at Reggie, the other boy was staring at him with wide, watery green eyes, and it didn’t matter how Alex felt about this. “Reg,” he sighed. “I’m not gonna hate you for falling in love with Luke.” He managed a smile and admitted, “Out of everyone, I absolutely understand how easy it is to fall in love with that dumbass.”

Reggie exhaled shakily, relieved, and then threw himself in Alex’s arms.

Alex folded his arms around him and held on tight—he wasn’t sure what to say to make Reggie feel better about this, because while he had experience in getting over Luke, he wasn’t sure if that’s what Reggie wanted at all, or if he’d try to talk to Luke about it.

Either way, Alex was going to make sure he was there for Reggie.

Whatever he needed.

--------------

I also sketched Alex and Reggie kissing (the first time after Reggie and Ella break up). Check it out here.

--------------

READ IT HERE:

Start from the beginning:

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

Unfinished Business:

(1) (2)

Or read it HERE (BaMBaT) or HERE (UB) on AO3 :D

#Unfinished Business #Bambat #AlexReggie #Ruke #julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #Lisa writes #jatp

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cuthian · 3 years

Text

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure Chapter Two

So, uh...

That took much less long than I expected it to. Still don't know where this is going exactly, but these characters are SO fun to write!

Thanks for all the love, everyone!

Love Annaelle

PS Thanks to my darling beta @juuls, who has not watched the show and has no clue what's going on but still reads over samples for me :p I'd be helpless without you, darling.

TWO

“Life is like a Beautiful Melody, Only the Lyrics Are Messed Up.”

—Hans Christian Andersen

REGGIE

Seeing Maggie again had… it’d soothed the sharp edges of something broken deep inside Reggie’s chest. Something that had been hurting so badly for so long he didn’t even realize it hurt until it stopped. She was an adult, and she was married—to a woman! How would his father have taken both of his kids turning out to be gay?—and had a baby that she’d named after him, and it didn’t look like their parents had been as shitty to her as they had been to him.

He walked home with Julie, keeping his arm slung around her shoulders because they could do that now, even if none of them knew why, mostly keeping their conversation light and easy.

He’d have to warn Alex, when they got back to the studio, that Julie knew that they’d fooled around and dated, and that the chances that Luke was going to find out were suddenly much higher.

It wasn’t that they’d intentionally kept it a secret… at first, anyway.

At first, it’d been awkward, because Luke and Alex hadn’t been broken up that long, and though it had been amicable, it felt a little like they were crossing a line that couldn’t be uncrossed ever again. Reggie hadn’t actually meant for anything to happen between him and Alex; he’d sought out his friend to ask how he’d known he liked boys, how he’d felt when Luke kissed him, if he’d ever looked at girls the same way he looked at boys, because Reggie did.

Reggie loved girls.

But… but… Reggie was also 99.9% sure he’d been in love with Luke Patterson since the day they’d met.

By the time Reggie had figured that out though, Luke had already dated Alex, broken up with Alex, and started dating a girl named Tawnie or Tiffany or something. So he’d turned to Alex instead.

Alex, who had smiled at him when Reggie said he didn’t know if he’d want to kiss a guy the way he’d kissed girls, shrugged and said, “So kiss me, see how that feels.”

Reggie had never really been able to resist a dare, so he had.

It’d kind of spiraled from there, and they’d just… kind of kept doing it.

They’d never quite gotten around to telling Luke or Bobby about it because neither of them thought it was a big deal. They fooled around when they felt like it, but they weren’t in love—they were best friends, and Reggie loved the hell out of Alex and he knew Alex felt the same, but they weren’t…

It wasn’t romantic love.

It’d taken Reggie some time to admit that though, even to himself. Alex had figured it out first—Alex always did know these things before Reggie did.

“So,” Julie said as they turned the corner to walk into her street. “Are you gonna talk to Luke?”

“About Maggie?” Reggie deflected deliberately. “Obviously. He and Alex might wanna pop in at some point too.”

Julie drew him to a stop and gave him a look.

Reggie heaved a sigh and hung his head.

“There’s really nothing to talk about,” he shrugged. “I mean, I think I… I think I’m cool with Luke not being into me like that, you know?”

Julie slapped him up the head.

“Ow,” he whined. “What was that for?”

“Oh, dio mio,” Julie groaned, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. “I give up.” She stalked forward, leaving Reggie standing dumbfounded on the sidewalk for a second before he chased after her.

Luke and Alex were throwing a basketball between them restlessly on the driveway, clearly waiting for Julie and Reggie to show up. “There you are,” Luke exclaimed as soon as they came into view, rushing forward to grab at Reggie’s shoulders. “How’d it go? What does she look like? Did she buy Julie’s story? Are you okay?”

Reggie stumbled back a little, taken aback by the onslaught of questions, but Alex popped up behind him and steadied him with a hand pressed to his back.

“Ugh,” Julie snorted. “You guys are hopeless.”

She left them standing on the driveway, walking into the house after rolling her eyes at them. Reggie was pretty sure she was just going inside to text Flynn so they could gossip about them.

“It was fine,” he told Luke and Alex. “She’s—she’s great. I mean, she, uh…” His eyes watered and he swallowed thickly. “She named her kid after me.”

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he said it, and Alex made a soft noise before he folded his arms around Reggie and held him in a tight hug. “Oh, Reg,” he said quietly, leaning his forehead against Reggie’s temple, and Reggie sagged against him gratefully. Seeing his sister had taken more out of him than he had thought it had, and now that Alex was holding him and Luke was coming to terms with someone crying in front of him, it hit him hard.

Alex’s hugs really were the best.

Luke, it seemed, had finally processed and accepted that Reggie was crying and tumbled headfirst into panic, rushing closer too, pressing his palms to Reggie’s cheeks, rubbing at his tears with his thumbs. “Of course she did,” Luke said softly. “You were the best big brother. She adored you.”

Reggie sobbed dryly, pitching forward to tuck his face in the crook of Luke’s neck, wrapping his arms around his best friend. Alex moved with him, staying pressed close so that Reggie was effectively cradled between them, letting him sob out the tension, the grief, the nerves—

Letting him work through everything meeting his sister again had brought up.

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, how long Alex and Luke held him and let him cry, but he knew that his eyes felt dry and scratchy by the time he looked up, and Luke’s eyes were distinctly red too, and he could hear Alex sniffing a little too.

“I’m okay,” he whispered. “Thanks, guys.”

“Duh,” Alex said affectionately, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of Reggie’s lips without thinking about it, just like he had a hundred times before when Reggie had been upset, before freezing abruptly when he realized this was the first time he’d done that in front of Luke.

Reggie froze too, swallowing thickly before he dared to look up at Luke, who was looking between them with a bewildered—and slightly hurt—expression.

“Uh,” Reggie said eloquently.

“I—uh,” Alex stuttered, cheeks flaming, pulling his hands away from Reggie and holding them up defensively. “I’m sorry?”

“What is going on?” Luke said harshly, eyes flicking from Reggie to Alex and back.

Reggie opened his mouth to say something, but when no words came out, he shut it again. “Luke,” Alex started, but Luke shook his head and stepped back, looking at them with an expression that made Reggie’s insides clench painfully.

He ran a hand through his messy hair and shook his head. “Fine,” he spat angrily. “Fine.”

Before Reggie or Alex could say anything, he disappeared with a soft plop.

“Shit,” Reggie cursed, running his hands through his hair. “Shit. Of all the ways he could’ve found out.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex said anxiously. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He wrung his hands together nervously, chewing on his lower lip.

“No, it’s—” Reggie sighed. “Julie found out today too. I was gonna talk to you about telling him, but…”

“Yeah,” Alex sighed. “Yeah, we probably should’ve handled that better.”

Reggie bit his lower lip before he told Alex, “I’ll go find him. Talk to him.” He rubbed his hands over his upper arms and smiled weakly at the other boy. “He’s probably mostly pissed that we didn’t tell him anything. And as much as you suck at change, Luke is just as bad.”

“Yeah,” Alex chuckled weakly. “Yeah, he is.”

Reggie could see Alex hesitate, could see him thinking something through before he stepped forward and very deliberately took Reggie’s face in his hands before pressing the softest, most chaste kiss they had ever shared—the first kiss since Alex had told him they needed to stop their romantic relationship—to his lips.

It tasted remarkably like goodbye.

“I’ll go find Willie,” Alex said quietly when he leaned back. “Tell him too. He should know before Luke runs into him and tells him something that isn’t—”

“Yeah,” Reggie nodded. “Okay. Good luck.”

“You too,” Alex told him, smiling genuinely before he stepped back and disappeared with a plop.

“Right,” Reggie said. He thought about where Luke would go, about where he’d try to hide from him and Alex, before sighing. There really was only one spot Luke would go to.

“Here goes nothing,” he told himself, and popped away.

------------

MAGGIE

Maggie walked into the office with a bit of a spring in her step, the bracelet that her brother had once made her now sized to fit her wrist and sitting just below her watch. “Hey Maggie,” Andi said as soon as Maggie had walked into her own office, leaning against the door casually. “Long time no see.”

Maggie snorted a laugh as she sat down at her desk and pulled her laptop out of her purse. “Well I did have a baby, Andi. It’s called maternity leave.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Andi rolled her eyes and walked in, settling in the chair across the desk. “Rub it in. You do not get to look like that,” she gestured towards Maggie vaguely, “twelve weeks after given birth to a literal human being. You’re giving us all a bad name.”

Maggie laughed and rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Any interesting artists pop up while I was gone?”

“Eh,” Andi shrugged. “Trevor Wilson’s kid isn’t bad, but she’s not good enough to stand out, I don’t think. There was one band with a lot of potential, but I haven’t been able to get in touch with them just yet.” She shrugged. “I tried to pitch the lead singer after a show, but an angry parent interrupted.”

“Oof,” Maggie winced.

Angry parents were the worst thing about trying to recruit successful young artists.

“What’s the band?” She asked, typing in her password and opening her search engine immediately. “Want me to do some digging?”

“Sure,” Andi said casually. “It’s Julie and the Fat Ones. Phantoms? I can’t recall.” She got to her feet elegantly and said, “If you can find and book ‘em, they’re all yours.” She walked out of the office, turning at the door to smile genuinely and say, “Welcome back.”

Maggie grinned. “Thanks, Andi.”

She turned back to her laptop and typed in Julie and the— Before she’d even completed the second word, suggestions and results were springing up, including a few videos. She looked through the options for a moment before deciding on the video with the most views—an absurd and impressive number, considering it had only been up for a week—titled ‘Great’.

She clicked the link, and the video played.

-------

Start from the beginning:

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1)

Or read it HERE on AO3 :D Find the next chapter HERE on Tumblr :)

#jatp #julie and the himbos #jatp ruke #ruke #Luke patterson #Julie molina #alex #reggie #luke/reggie #BaMBaT

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cuthian · 3 years

Text

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure Chapter Five

Thanks for the love, guys!

Here's the next chapter. I have no idea when more is going to be up. I'll try to be fast though!

Love

Annaelle

PS Love to the peeps on the JatP Discord server for telling me let Luke use pet names on Reggie ;) You know who you are.

FIVE

“Wherever a Beautiful Soul Has Been There Is a Trail of Beautiful Memories…”

—Ronald Raegan

ALEX

He followed Willie to the museum again, hands pushed deep into his pockets.

“You know,” he said as Willie walked straight through the closed doors and into the empty museum. “I’m really starting to think you have a thing for breaking rules, Willie.”

Willie grinned at him over his shoulder, bright and handsome and shit Alex was so gay.

“You,” Willie said teasingly, turning to poke Alex in the chest, “love it.” And Alex… Yeah, Alex couldn’t really deny that. His crush had been obvious from day one, and the only thing that had made him feel better about it was that he’d been pretty sure it was reciprocated.

Then, of course, there had been the whole mess with Caleb, and much as he wished he’d just grabbed Willie and kissed him then and there, he hadn’t and now here they were—

Still very much interested in one another, but still not quite together.

It was kind of embarrassing at this point. Even Luke and Reggie had gotten their heads out of their asses and told each other they were in love with each other.

Alex really should be able to tell Willie the same—especially considering they had all but done so already. There really wasn’t another way to interpret the long, intense gazes and the hugging and the ‘I’d do anything for you’ or the ‘I’d have followed you anyway’.

“Maybe a little,” he told Willie with a grin, and the other ghost laughed delightedly, hitting him on the shoulder lightly before jumping on his skateboard and rushing off into his usual parkour of the museum while Alex went to find the bench they always ended up on so he could watch. Willie looked free as he skated, wild and untamed and delighted, laughing as he went and watching him made Alex’s chest clench—in the best way.

“You’re looking wired again,” Willie told him when he’d jumped the bench and came to a stop in front of Alex, tossing his helmet and grinning at him.

Alex sighed. “Yeah. Yeah. It’s—remember Reggie’s sister?” When Willie nodded, Alex explained everything that had happened on Saturday, and the fallout—Reggie barely making it back to the studio before he broke down in tears and spent the entire night crying in his and Luke’s arms, Julie’s anxiety about their future only adding to his own, Luke being so focused on trying to make Reggie smile that he complete forgot about everything else…

“Shit man,” Willie shook his head. “That sucks.”

“Yeah,” Alex chuckled wryly. “Yeah, it does.”

“Come on,” Willie said suddenly, getting to his feet and holding his hand out to Alex. “I think you need to yell again, and no better place,” he swept his arms wide in a dramatic gesture that made Alex smile despite himself, “than an empty museum.”

“Willie,” Alex sighed, but he let himself be tugged to his feet anyway.

“Come on, hot dog,” Willie coaxed, grinning widely at him. “You remember how this goes.”

Before Alex could say anything, Willie threw himself into a loud, piercing yell, just like he had the first time they’d done this, and Alex couldn’t help but smile at this beautiful weirdo before he yelled too. The first scream that he forced from his lungs was short and explosive, and Willie grinned encouragingly at him, grabbing fistfuls of Alex’s sweater before he screamed again, louder and longer and Alex couldn’t help but join, screaming his frustration about being unable to help Reggie, about the uncertainty they lived with now that Caleb had reluctantly agreed to a temporary truce and now that Maggie knew about them but hadn’t contacted them at all, about how he wished he was brave enough to just kiss Willie already—

He fell silent with a gasp, panting, and Willie smirked at him, fists still clenched in Alex’s sweater, and suddenly Alex was so tired of overthinking. He nearly lunged forward and curled his fingers around the back of Willie’s neck, tangling them in the other boy’s long hair, smashing their lips together in a messy, breathless kiss.

It lasted less than five seconds, and really, Alex barely had the chance to relish in the feel of Willie’s soft lips on his before the latter pulled away, his eyes wide and startled—and damn it.

“I thought,” Alex stammered, cheeks burning with an embarrassed blush, “I thought you wanted—”

“Yeah,” Willie nodded shakily. “Yeah, no, I do.” He swallowed thickly, and his eyes fell to Alex’s lips before he said, “Kiss me again, hot dog.” He smirked and added, “Promise I’ll kiss back this time.”

Alex grinned, feeling delighted and lightheaded and exited, and did as Willie asked.

--------------

LUKE

Luke sat sideways on the couch in the studio, back pressed to the armrest, Reggie curled up against him, pressed into his arms, his nose tucked against Luke’s neck, breathing soft and quiet. It’d been the first time in three days that Luke had been able to get him to sit still long enough to fall asleep, and he wasn’t going to wake him up now.

They didn’t need sleep anymore, not really, but they weren’t invulnerable to exhaustion.

Once Alex had returned to them after he’d talked to Maggie, after he’d relayed everything that had been said, Reggie had broken down into anxious, angry, frustrated, sad tears and had spent most of the night crying in Luke and Alex’s arms.

He’d spent the next two days in a morose, melancholy mood, bundled into the corner of the couch in the studio, barely responding to anyone, even to Luke, and he’d started pacing yesterday.

It’d taken Luke hours to convince Reggie to stop rambling, to stop blaming himself for everything, to let Luke take care of him for a little bit, and even longer to coax him back to the couch. Julie and Alex and even Flynn had flitted in and out of the studio, but for the most part, they’d left him and Reggie alone. Luke was pretty grateful for it—he didn’t think Reggie could stand being around anyone else right now, except maybe Alex.

He stroked his fingers through Reggie’s messy hair, relaxing back into the pillows a little.

The consequence of Reggie having been awake for this long was that Luke had been too, and he was feeling the strain of being up and aware that long too.

He rested his head back against the pillow and stared up at the ceiling, with its weird, floating chairs. He understood all too well why Reggie had taken Maggie walking out on them so hard—it’d been… it’d been hard enough acknowledging that they were dead to themselves. None of them had really allowed themselves to think about what being dead actually meant to the people they’d loved.

Luke had tried, with his parents, had opened himself up to that grief because he couldn’t not—

But the other boys… Reggie and his father had parted on terrible terms, and in the last six months before they’d died, Luke and Reggie had both spent every night either in the studio or with Alex. Luke had known, back then, that not being there to protect Maggie from their parents’ temper had broken Reggie’s heart, and seeing her now must’ve brought all those feelings back to the surface.

It worried him more than he could say, and he knew Alex felt that way too.

Luke knew that Julie was worried too, of course, but more in the sense that she didn’t want Maggie to ruin any career she might be able to build in the future before it’d even begun. Alex had promised them all that Maggie had mostly seemed to believe him by the time they’d finished speaking, and that she hadn’t even seemed so very angry anymore, but asking someone to believe that the ghost of their brother that had died twenty-five years previously was suddenly back was a big ask.

Luke hated how it was affecting Reggie.

When they’d been alive and Reggie had sunk into moods like these, Luke and Alex had been able to coax him out of them with their music, with laughter and jokes and group hugs that lasted far too long to be casual—which made sense now, knowing that they’d all, at some point, been involved with each other—but nothing had seemed to help this time until Luke had bodily dragged him over to the couch.

He rolled his head to the side when he heard a gentle plop and found Alex standing in the middle of the studio sporting the stupidest grin he’d ever seen on the other boy. “Well, don’t you look happy,” he said teasingly but quietly, continuing to run his fingers through Reggie’s hair soothingly.

Alex rolled his eyes before settling on the chair beside the couch. “I had a good time with Willie,” he admitted, blushing just a little. “He says hi, by the way.”

Luke grinned, waggling his eyebrows at Alex. “Sure he did. Elaborately? With ton—”

“Okay,” Alex cut him off, waving his hand impatiently, but he was still blushing and Luke had known him long enough to know he hadn’t been that far off the mark. “How’s he doing?” Alex asked then, nodding towards Reggie.

“He’s sleeping,” Luke sighed, looking down at the boy that was, by now, snoring quietly against his chest. “Which is better than the relentless pacing.”

“True,” Alex nodded, as if he wasn’t an eternal pacer himself, slumping down in his chair a little. “Has Julie heard anything from Maggie yet?”

Luke shook his head. “Not that she’s told me.”

Alex heaved a sigh and slumped further, putting his feet up on the table and flashing his drumsticks into his hand to have something to fiddle with. “He’s not gonna be able to stay away much longer,” he said quietly, glancing towards Reggie, who was drooling on Luke’s shirt.

“Yeah,” Luke agreed quietly, dragging his fingers through Reggie’s hair again. “I know. I’m hoping we’ll hear something before then though. We don’t want a repeat of what happened with Ray.”

Alex winced, and yeah… that had been a bit of a mess.

The day after Julie had freed them of Caleb’s stamp, Reggie had popped into the house for his usual routine of chattering at Ray while the man made breakfast. Except, this time, when Reggie had appeared in the kitchen, Ray had dropped the bowl with pancake batter to the floor and stared straight at Reggie, looking quite like… well, like he’d seen a ghost.

It’d been how they figured out other people could see them after Julie had hugged them.

They also learned, over the course of a very long morning, where Julie called in sick to school and they spent hours explaining everything that’d happened to Ray, that it was temporary. That they needed to touch Julie again—another hug or something as fleeting as bumping shoulders—and they’d become corporeal and visible again.

Before Alex could say anything, the door to the studio pushed open and Julie came in, chewing on her lower lip nervously. “Oh, good,” she said, sounding relieved. “You’re all here.” She glanced towards Reggie, who still hadn’t moved, and said, “Shit. Okay. Luke,” she looked up at Luke and said, “You need to wake him up.”

“Jules, he was so tired,” Luke sighed. “If it’s not necessary—”

“It is,” Julie insisted, and then the door behind her opened further and Maggie walked in, holding hands with a tall, dark skinned woman, a baby strapped to Maggie’s chest. Luke’s mouth fell open, and when he glanced towards Alex, he saw the drummer was similarly stumped.

“Right,” Luke breathed. “Okay.”

“Are they in here?” Maggie asked, and her voice trembled just a little.

“Yeah,” Julie nodded. “Yes, sorry, they’re just.. Reggie’s asleep, they’re waking him up.”

Luke glanced up towards Maggie, towards her little family and smiled, a little bittersweet, before bending forward and running his fingers through Reggie’s hair a little more insistently. “Reg,” he said softly, shaking the other boy gently. “Wake up, baby.”

Reggie groaned wordlessly and pressed back into Luke’s touch, stretching lazily.

Luke smiled despite himself, pressing a kiss to the top of Reggie’s head. “You gotta wake up, baby.”

----------------

REGGIE

Reggie blinked the sleep out of his eyes, rubbing his cheek against Luke’s chest for a second longer before what Luke had said registered and he froze. “Did… did you call me baby?”

Luke smiled at him, that slow, sweet, intense smile that made several of Reggie’s potentially vital internal organs go all warm and mushy, and rubbed his thumb over Reggie’s cheek. “Yeah, baby,” he said, his voice low and warm and unbearably fond, the same way he sounded when he told Reggie he loved him.

Reggie’s cheeks burned and his heart felt like it was bursting—could he still die from that? Really, the only thing Caleb should’ve done to kill him was make Luke call him ‘baby’—and he needed a second to process, okay? He ducked back down and hid his burning face in the crook of Luke’s neck, exhaling shakily as he tried to deal with the onslaught of feelings.

This whole week had been a very heavy week, emotionally, and Reggie really wasn’t good at this.

Luke just huffed in amusement, curling his fingers around the back of Reggie’s neck and pressing a kiss to the side of his head.

Reggie relaxed a little, at that.

“You can’t do that in front of the others,” he muttered against Luke’s neck.

“Uh,” Luke replied hesitantly, and Reggie looked up.

Luke was biting his lip and blushing and Reggie’s stomach sank even before he noticed Alex sitting right next to them and Julie standing by the door and—

His train of thought halted abruptly.

“Maggie,” he choked, rolling right off the couch in his haste to get to his feet. Luke and Alex both started towards him, but Reggie bounced back to his feet and rushed towards Julie. “Can she see me yet? Have you touched us—is that? Did she see—”

“Oh no,” Julie chuckled, “Only Alex and I saw that.”

Reggie felt his cheeks burning, but Julie took pity on him. “It’s okay,” she grinned. “I was like that too, the first time Flynn called me ‘baby’. It’s fine.”

“Someone called Reggie ‘baby’?” Maggie piped in, eyes wide. “Is it Alex or Luke? Tell me it’s Luke.”

Alex frowned. “Should I be insulted?”

Julie rolled her eyes and turned to Maggie. “I’m gonna make them visible—it can be a little… disorienting, to just see them appear…”

“Just do it,” Maggie said, although Reggie noted that she held the baby a little closer and squeezed her wife’s hand, and he was… relieved to find he wasn’t the only one that was nervous about the conversation and the meeting and just the whole situation.

Reggie exhaled shakily when Luke and Alex joined him in front of Julie, both of them pressing close, Luke’s hand slipping into his and Alex’s hand lightly resting in the middle of his back. They held out their free hands to Julie, who smiled encouragingly and folded both her hands around theirs.

Maggie’s wife—and they really should ask her name, because it was quite bothersome to call her Maggie’s wife the entire time—gasped, and Maggie’s eyes widened, and Reggie knew they were visible.

“Oh my God,” the other woman breathed. “This is real.”

Maggie turned to her with an incredulous expression. “You said you believed me.”

“Well, yes,” her wife said. “But believing is still quite a bit different than actually seeing.” She waved her hand at the three boys vaguely. “This is…”

“A little crazy?” Alex offered wryly.

The other woman just blinked, and Reggie turned his attention back to Maggie. “Hi,” he said shakily, clutching at Luke’s hand. “I’m sorry for last time, I didn’t mean to scare you, I just wanted to explain—I didn’t think—”

“It’s okay,” Maggie said immediately, cutting him off. “I—I get it.” She rubbed her hand over her baby’s back gently—the baby she’d named after him—and took a deep breath. “I… Uh… I have questions. And I—” her lower lip trembled, and the only reason Reggie wasn’t already over there, hugging her, was because Luke was still holding his hand. “—I wanted to talk to you. There’s so many things I don’t remember, that I wish—”

“Yes,” Reggie nodded immediately. “Anything you wanna know.” He frowned and reconsidered. “I mean, as long as I know,” he smiled, “But if I don’t know, Luke or Alex probably do, I mean, they’ve been here all along too, so really—”

“Reg,” Luke cut him off, tugging at his hand quietly, “She gets it.”

Reggie glanced at Maggie, who was smiling faintly and looking between the three of them. “Right,” he said faintly. “Sorry.”

“Maybe we should sit down,” Julie suggested quietly, gesturing towards the couch and its mess of pillows. “I can get those of us who’re alive something to drink too.”

“Rude,” Reggie pouted, but he let Luke and Alex drag him towards the chair and watched as Alex dragged over the massive bean bag they’d relocated from Julie’s room to the studio a week ago. Maggie and her wife—he really needed to ask her name—gingerly took a seat on the couch, Alex plopped down in his chair again and Luke dragged Reggie down onto the bean bag with him.

Reggie couldn’t help but relax a bit with Luke’s arms casually slung around him. He leaned back against Luke just a little and eyed his sister nervously. “So who starts?” He asked.

Everyone chuckled a little at that, although Reggie found it a perfectly valid question.

“I guess,” Maggie said slowly, “I guess I can start. Uh,” she tugged on her wife’s hand lightly and continued, “this is T’Nia, my wife. We’ve been married for six years—”

“Seven,” T’Nia cut in. “Seven in three weeks.”

“Right,” Maggie grinned, her cheeks a little flushed. “Seven.” She then turned her attention to the baby and said, “This is Regina. Reggie.” She looked up with a tremulous smile, and with a start, Reggie realized he was about to burst into tears again.

“You named her after me,” he said hoarsely.

Alex glanced over at him with his eyebrows raised. “You already knew that.”

Reggie pouted and glared at him. “I can get emotional over it more than once, Alexander.”

Alex wrinkled his nose in disgust and Luke snorted with laughter. When Reggie dared look at his sister again, it was to find her grinning broadly, although her eyes were suspiciously shiny. “I can’t believe you guys are exactly as I remember you.”

“Well, it hasn’t—” Alex started, “It hasn’t exactly been twenty-five years for us.”

“We didn’t… appear,” Luke explained when Maggie looked puzzled, “until Julie played our demo. That was a few weeks ago. We thought it’d been a few hours, not years.”

Maggie blinked and sat back heavily. “That’s insane.”

“Yeah,” Reggie nodded. “It was.”

Baby Reggie began to fuss right then, drawing everyone’s attention, and T’Nia rested a hand on Maggie’s. “Do you want me to take her?”

“No,” Maggie blurted. “That’s my emotional support baby.”

Julie snorted an abrupt laugh, but Reggie was just really confused, and a quick look at Luke and Alex told him that he wasn’t, thankfully, the only one who didn’t get the joke.

T’Nia mostly looked unimpressed. “I’m not sure how I feel about you referring to our daughter as an emotional support tool,” she said dryly, but Maggie just smirked and rocked the baby calmly, and before long, baby Reggie was dozing again.

“I’ve a question,” Luke piped up, and Reggie craned his neck to look at his boyfriend quizzically.

Maggie raised her eyebrows, and Luke continued, “You said… at the restaurant… You said you knew. About Bobby. About what he did. Why didn’t you—”

And Reggie heard what Luke was really asking.

Why hadn’t she stopped him from stealing their songs, why hadn’t she told anyone, why—

Why had he gotten away with it?

Maggie sighed. “Luke, I was thirteen. It was his word against mine—and I didn’t have proof. He waited long enough to make sure people didn’t really… remember. And then he only used songs you hadn’t recorded or played in public. I didn’t have your notebooks—I didn’t have anything. I tried, I tried telling Luke’s parents, but they couldn’t prove anything either. I was the only one other than him who knew most of the songs and I only knew them because I spent so much time listening to you guys rehearse.”

Reggie swallowed thickly as Maggie looked down. “I tried,” she said quietly.

“Thank you,” Alex said, and blinked hard because he’d spent all week crying, he was done, he didn’t want to start all over again. “For trying.”

“Yeah,” Luke rasped, and Reggie nodded jerkily, trying not to burst into tears, because that had been the worst thing about learning that Bobby had stolen their songs—no one had remembered them enough to know that they were theirs.

Knowing that Maggie, at least, had remembered them, had known—

It helped.

He sniffed a little and turned, hiding his face in Luke’s shoulder as he tried to get it together. Luke dug his fingers back into his hair and Reggie exhaled shakily before he went boneless against him. “Thanks,” he whispered against Luke’s skin, pressing a small kiss to the hinge of his jaw before he sat up again. Luke smiled fondly at him and rubbed his thumb over Reggie’s hot cheek and Reggie just kind of wanted to melt.

“So it was Luke,” Maggie said gleefully, and Reggie jumped—he’d kind of forgotten everyone else was still there too. When he looked back at his sister, she looked like all of her Christmases had come early.

“You are weirdly invested in this,” Julie remarked, and Reggie pointed to her as he nodded.

Maggie rolled her eyes. “Look, I’ve been wondering what the deal was since I walked in on Alex and Reggie—” Luke made a slightly punched-out noise, and Reggie patted his leg comfortingly, and Maggie continued, “I’ve literally been waiting for twenty-five years to know, okay? I need to know.”

Reggie blinked at her.

She grinned back. “Come on, Reg. Dish. You’re with Luke, right?”

“I—yeah,” Reggie said slowly, cheeks flushing when Luke leaned in behind him to press a kiss to the nape of his neck. “I mean, not until after we came back though.”

“Wait, so you and Alex really were—” Maggie leaned forward eagerly, and Reggie wrinkled his nose and shook his head.

“No. Nope, I’m not talking about this with you,” he squinted at her. “Unless you want me to start asking questions about your sex life?” Maggie blanched so hard Reggie and Luke both burst into laughter and Julie giggled while T’Nia patted her wife’s arm comfortingly.

“Fine, change of subject,” Maggie conceded.

“Tell me about our parents,” Reggie said before anyone else could say anything. “I wanna know what happened after we—after—”

“After we died of extreme food poisoning,” Luke cut in, hooking his chin over Reggie’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his middle. Reggie winced a little, but leaned back into Luke’s embrace anyway, stretching his leg out a little so he could hook his ankle around Alex’s.

The blond startled at the touch, but shot him a grateful little smile anyway, and Reggie’s chest went all warm and tight and he wished, for a second, that they were alone so they could try that awesome group hug thing again. They hadn’t done that in far too long.

“You didn’t die of food poisoning,” Maggie cut in, sounding a little surprised, and Reggie’s head snapped back towards her so fast he felt his neck crack a little.

“What?”

“You didn’t—” Maggie shook head, looking between them with an expression that hovered between baffled and confused. “You didn’t die of food poisoning. You—” she blinked. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?” Reggie frowned.

“Oh, shit,” Maggie exhaled.

--------------

For those of you that wanted to see these adorable himbos cuddling.

--------------

Start from the beginning:

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4)

Or read it HERE on AO3 :D Find the next chapter HERE on Tumblr :)

#jatp #jatp ruke #ruke #luke/reggie #julie and the himbos #Julie and the phantoms #Luke patterson #julie molina #alex #reggie #BaMBaT

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cuthian · 3 years

Note

unfinished business is def a fav :)

That's so great to hear, it's one of my own faves too 😘

#unfinished business #jatp fanfic #julie and the phantoms #alexreggie #bambat

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cuthian · 3 years

Text

A Song Only You Can Hear Chapter Two

Hi guys!

Second chapter ☺️ Also... I'm sorry? *hides*

Love Annaelle

PS Unbeta'd, so any and all mistakes are mine.

TWO

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” – Harriet Tubman

16 DECEMBER 2020 MAGGIE

“You know, someone told me once that a watched phone never rings, sugar plum.”

Maggie looked up from where she’d been engaged in a fierce staring contest with her infuriatingly silent phone, finding Ende, T’Nia’s sister leaning against the kitchen island. She hadn’t even heard her come into the kitchen. Maggie hung her head a little before she smiled up at Ende ruefully.

They’d been friends since college—had bonded over being L.A. girls in New York—and while Ende hadn’t been a massive fan of her best friend and her sister falling head over heels in love with each other at first, she’d come around quickly. Maggie was still relieved that she had, because the last thing she’d wanted was to lose her best friend over a girl.

“You’ve been a little preoccupied,” Ende observed, crossing her arms over her chest. “T’Nia mentioned you took on a new band recently, but I thought everything was going pretty well on that front?”

Maggie sighed and nodded, taking her eyes off her phone to look at Ende.

“It is,” she nodded. “They’re just…” she shook her head and heaved another sigh. Much as she wanted to tell Ende everything, she knew her friend wouldn’t believe her, and… and who would, honestly? She was still relatively sure T’Nia had only believed her because she knew Maggie well enough to know she’d never lie about something like this, and because she’d been able to prove what she was saying.

“They remind me of my brother,” she finally said, settling on something as close to the truth as she could manage. “Him and the other boys. They’re just… they’re so young, but they’re so passionate and so incredibly fucking talented, it’s…” she exhaled and shook her head. “It’s a little insane. And I guess I just… worry. They’re kids, you know?”

She leaned forward to rest her elbows on the kitchen island and shot a smile towards Ende. “I guess I’m a little prone to taking my work home with me.”

Ende nodded slowly, uncrossing her arms from her chest as she leaned on the counter too.

“After everything you went through with your family and your brother, I can see why that’d be hard to let go,” she conceded. “Just… promise me you won’t obsess, okay?”

“No,” Maggie denied immediately, maybe a little too readily. Ende raised an eyebrow at her and Maggie winced, hanging her head again before she admitted, “I’m trying not to let myself slip into that mindset again. And T’Nia knows, she… she helps. And I have Regina to focus on too.”

Ende hummed sympathetically and then pulled out one of the barstools to sit at the island across from Maggie. “When I met you,” she began slowly, “you were in a tailspin, Mags. Figuring out what happened to your brother and his friends was driving you crazy, was ruining your life one day at a time and you were letting it.”

Maggie looked down and swallowed thickly.

There was no use denying it.

She’d been desperate to know why her brother had been taken from her, why someone had looked at him and Luke and Alex and decided to kill them, and when there weren’t answers forthcoming, she’d… she’d lost it, a little.

Ende, and later T’Nia, had dragged her out of that deep, dark hole kicking and screaming and had helped her see that her brother had loved her and would never have wanted her to live the way she was living back then. They’d convinced her to go to therapy, to go back to school and to stop running away from everything that music meant to her—

They’d saved her life.

“I’m not going to let it get that far again,” Maggie said firmly. “It’s different.”

Ende looked down and sighed. “And I believe you when you say that, I really do. But as much as you’re worrying about those kids, I worry about you.”

Maggie was struck silent by the intensity of Ende’s gaze when her friend looked up again.

“I love you, Mags,” Ende continued. “You’re my sister and my best friend and I want you to be okay.” She fell silent for a moment and then added, thoughtfully, “And also I think T’Nia would cry for weeks if you lost your mind again and no one wants to see that.”

Maggie snorted a laugh and shook her head, and Ende dissolved into giggles.

“What’re you two giggling about?” T’Nia chuckled from the doorway, and Maggie jumped a little, because her situational awareness seemed to have stayed behind in L.A.

Jesus.

“Nothing important,” she said lightly, although she had to admit T’Nia could probably see right through her anyway. She kept her eye on her wife as she moved into the kitchen, eyebrow raised at her and Ende.

“Fine,” T’Nia chuckled, leaning in to press a quick kiss to Maggie’s cheek before she turned to open the fridge. “Keep your secrets then. I’ll be out in the living room, feeding our daughter.”

“We were just talking about this new band she’s signing,” Ende said calmly, rolling her eyes a little.

“Oh, Julie and the Phantoms?” T’Nia asked, pausing on her way back to the living room, resting her hand on the small of Maggie’s back. “They’re very good. Nice kids too.”

“I told her,” Maggie said slowly, “that they remind me of Reggie and the boys.”

“Ah,” T’Nia nodded, and God, Maggie was so glad she’d married a smart woman. “There’s similarities, definitely, even appearance-wise. They’re very talented too. Julie actually found us; her parents own the house Reggie’s band used to rehearse at. Some of their things were still there, and she came to return them to Maggie. It was very kind of her.”

Maggie swallowed. “It was,” she agreed, before holding out her wrist, “She found my bracelet.”

Ende bent forward and cooed at the cheap, brightly colored plastic beads, and T’Nia shot a smile towards Maggie, pecking her on the cheek before she left the kitchen again.

She’d need to talk to the boys and Julie when they returned to L.A., she thought idly. They needed to be prepared in case Alex’s parents or Luke’s parents recognized them if they were on stage. They shouldn’t—couldn’t—take the risk of being caught unawares again, like Julie had been when Maggie recognized Reggie in their Youtube video.

They needed to be prepared.

Luke’s parents were older, and Maggie knew they tended to avoid music because it broke their hearts still, knew that Luke’s room was exactly how he had left it, but she knew that if they ever caught a glimpse of Julie and her little ghost band, they’d recognize their son as easily and as quickly as she had recognized Reggie.

She hadn’t heard from Alex’s parents in years, but she imagined his mother, at least, would know her son if she saw him. Bobby, too, remained an unknown factor, and if Maggie had any idea how to get in touch with him without arousing his suspicions, she would.

The last time she’d spoken to him was when she’d been twenty-one and had tracked him down after a concert, threatening to sue him now that she was an adult, begging him to tell her why, how—how he could’ve betrayed Reggie and Luke and Alex the way he had, how could stand himself—

He’d let her yell and then had security escort her out.

She didn’t know how he’d respond to seeing the boys again—and of every family member out there, Bobby was the most likely to find out about the boys. His daughter, apparently, was in the same school as Julie, in the same class.

It was only a matter of time before Bobby found out and Maggie wanted to be ready when he did.

Bobby had taken enough from the boys already.

She wasn’t going to let him take another thing.

-------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (2:17 p.m.) WILLIE

The Hollywood Ghost Club had been a remarkably pleasant place to live in recent months, more so than it had been in years, and Willie didn’t trust it one bit. Caleb hadn’t always struck him as a power-hungry tyrant, and Willie was actually pretty sure he hadn’t been one, initially.

Willie hadn’t been dead for nearly as long as Caleb had been, of course, and he didn’t know the specifics of how Caleb had died or how he’d ended up running the Ghost Club, but he knew the man that had taken in a terrified, nineteen-year-old ghost and showed him there was more to the afterlife than pain and fear.

He knew the man that had, in the early years of Willie’s own afterlife, sought to protect the deceased community of Los Angeles and had used his stamp only to control ghosts that had long since lost their humanity, that posed a threat to lifers and ghosts alike.

He knew the man that had tried so hard, in the beginning, to help Willie figure out his unfinished business, and that had comforted him when Willie came to terms with his unfinished business remaining undiscovered. Willie wasn’t sure when that had changed, when Caleb had started using his power and influence to gain more power, to gain more influence, when he had gone from caring and empathetic to manipulative.

He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t noticed before the other ghost had tried to force Alex and his friends into joining the Club, before Caleb had actively threatened him and the boy Willie really, really cared about, but now that he had, he couldn’t stop himself from noticing everything about Caleb. In the wake of the boys breaking free of the stamp—and Willie wasn’t ever going to forget the all-encompassing relief he’d felt when Alex had poofed into the skatepark after the show—Caleb had thrown an unholy tantrum that had wrecked the entire Club and had sent all of the ghosts cowering in their personal chambers.

The next day, he’d acted like nothing was wrong, and he’d made Willie promise to tell the boys that Caleb wanted to call a truce. That, as long as they left Caleb alone, he would leave them alone and, as an added benefit, he even allowed Willie to spend as much time with Alex as he wanted.

Willie was a little suspicious of it, but it did mean he got to spend time with his drummer boy, so… maybe he didn’t look into as hard as he could’ve.

In hindsight, that was probably a mistake.

He hid just out of sight, listening to Caleb talk to someone Willie couldn’t quite make out from this distance, his stomach turning at the casual tone of the conversation when the subject was so abhorrent that he could barely stomach it at all.

“And you’re sure they’ve got the potential we’ve been seeking?” Caleb demanded.

“Absolutely,” a female voice Willie didn’t recognize replied. It was a high, shrill voice, with a thick accent Willie couldn’t place, and he frowned, trying to figure out why Caleb would be meeting with a stranger to talk… whatever they were talking about.

“We don’t want a repeat of the last time,” Caleb replied smoothly, but Willie could hear the threatening undertone in his voice and shivered a little.

“How was I supposed to know they’d disappear for twenty-five years?” The woman exclaimed. “They were popular, people were supposed to talk about them constantly. Their ties to the world should’ve been far stronger than it turned out, you know that as well as I do.”

Caleb harrumphed, but didn’t offer a rebuttal.

“This man radiates power,” the woman continued. “It’s almost odd. He’s like a beacon. I saw many other ghosts being drawn towards him too. He’s alive, and very much so, but he has such delicious potential it’s impossible to ignore. If we want him, we can’t wait to act, Caleb.”

Caleb hummed thoughtfully. “I’m sure you have thoughts towards ensuring he has unfinished business and will return to Earth?”

Their voices faded and Willie leaned back against the wall, feeling nauseated. They were… they were talking about killing someone, about taking their life to make them a ghost so Caleb could use him and his powers—whatever they may be, whatever they meant with potential—and…

And… and the things they’d mentioned. ‘We don’t want a repeat of last time.’

‘…disappear for twenty-five years…’

Oh God, he had to tell Alex.

He had to find Alex right now and tell him what he’d overheard.

---------------

18 DECEMBER 2020 (2:23 p.m.) ALEX

Alex never meant to spy on any of his bandmates, Reggie least of all.

In his own defense, Reggie rarely played music outside of the studio—mostly because all of the instruments were in there—and when there was music playing in the main house, it was usually Julie playing something with Carlos or Flynn, and now that everyone knew about the boys’ existence, Julie had told them they were welcome in the entire house any time.

Ray, too, had extended the same invitation and had even designated the guest bedroom for them.

Why Luke and Reggie never thought of using that bed and room—with a door that actually locked—when they tried to take their relationship further was beyond him.

So when Alex returned from his daily walk around the neighborhoods they used to live in, to see the things that’d changed, and had heard music drifting from Julie’s room, he hadn’t thought twice about poofing up there to see how she was doing and what song she was playing.

He hadn’t expected to find Reggie, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of Julie’s bed with Luke’s acoustic guitar in his lap, songbook open on the floor in front of him.

He was singing.

Alex… Alex couldn’t remember the last time he had Reggie sing something more than a single line or a short verse by himself. His eye strayed back towards the songbook and he found, similarly, that he couldn’t remember the last time Reggie had let him see the pages of the songbook.

Of course, Reggie always shared his country songs, let him and Luke make fun of them good-naturedly.

Alex had known, though, that Reggie wrote actual, serious songs too, that the songbook was filled with songs about his parents and Alex himself, and Luke and Bobby and everything Reggie had ever had to deal with in his entire life.

Reggie had always been a lot less… open about those songs.

Maybe, Alex mused as he listened to Reggie sing, with good reason. Emotion oozed from every word he sang, and Alex could honestly say he’d never heard Reggie sound like this.

Like… like his every emotion was laid bare for everyone to see and hear.

“…tired of all the will they, won’t they romance,” Reggie sang softly, quietly, voice thick with emotion, like he was on the verge of tears, “When you hold my hand, is it just by chance?”

There was a melancholy to the words… an unbearable sadness that Alex could barely stomach from anyone, but even less so from Reggie. He loved Reggie, in a different way than he had almost a year—or twenty-six—ago, when they’d still been together, when he’d still been hopeful that their connection was strong enough to last.

Before he’d realized Luke was in love with Reggie too and he didn’t stand a chance.

“Maybe this love is mad,” Reggie continued, still oblivious to Alex’s presence. “You’re filling every thought I have.”

Those words hit Alex harder, knocking the breath from his lungs. Reggie hadn’t ever been in love with anyone but Luke, not even Alex, and while he’d known that, it was still confronting to hear. He hadn’t known, even back then, that Reggie was suffering this much from his—then—unrequited crush on Luke and he hated that he hadn’t seen it.

They’d spent years together, spent months actually dating, actually giving their feelings for one another a real chance, and Alex had missed this.

How had he missed this?

“You’ll never know what you mean to me, ‘cause I won’t say,” Reggie very nearly whispered, “and you won’t ask me.”

And… and Alex should say something, should do something to let Reggie know he was there.

This was so incredibly private, and Reggie hadn’t chosen to share this with Alex, hadn’t consented to this—this was Reggie’s soul, his heart, laid bare in a way he’d never allowed Alex to see before, not even when they had been at their most intimate.

Before he could say anything, do anything, though, Reggie continued singing.

“Yeah, will we, or won't we?” Reggie’s voice was so soft, it was nearly inaudible now, and he really was very nearly crying. Alex itched to hold him, to hug him until Reggie would smile again, but he was frozen where he stood. “He said, "I don't love you, I'm sorry. I just didn’t want to be lonely”.”

Reggie’s voice broke on the last word, and Alex acted on instinct, dropping to his knees beside Reggie. “Reg,” he choked, reaching out for his best friend, who jumped at the sound of his voice, dropping the guitar with a clang, kicking the songbook halfway across the room in surprise.

“Alex,” Reggie exclaimed, eyes wide with shock and a tinge of apprehension. “What the hell! How—how long—when—when did you come in?”

“A minute or so ago,” Alex admitted, ducking his head down and rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. “I think I just caught that last verse.” He swallowed thickly, uncomfortably and said, “It was beautiful, Reg.” He then forced a smile and added, “Besides, don’t worry. I knew you were probably writing Luke soppy love songs back when we were dating.”

Reggie blinked at him. “You—I didn’t—I didn’t write that for Luke, Alex.”

Alex… felt instantly wrongfooted.

Reggie hadn’t… he hadn’t been in love with anyone but Luke. He’d dated Ella for a couple of months and while he’d been pretty upset when they’d broken up, Reggie had later told Alex it’d been more about being afraid no one would like him than being sad about losing her.

So… so if it wasn’t Ella, and it wasn’t Luke, then… then…

He pretended his voice wasn’t shaking as he asked, “Who else would you have been writing sad, soppy love songs for, Reggie?”

Reggie gaped at him. “Alex. Alex, you—tell me you’re kidding.”

“Reg,” Alex whispered, reaching out towards his friend, but Reggie shook his head, backing away and getting to his feet. Alex inhaled sharply and got to his feet again too. “Reg, please, I—”

“You! Alex, I wrote the song for you,” Reggie interrupted in a rush of words, cheeks flushed and his eyes downcast. “Back when we were… when we were together. I was gonna play it for you on your birthday, but then you… you said it wasn’t working, and we broke up, and I never showed you.”

“Oh,” Alex choked, stumbling back a step.

He hadn’t… he hadn’t really expected that, even though he probably should have.

It didn’t make sense though, because he’d been so sure that Reggie’s feelings for him weren’t like that, that Reggie loved Luke the entire time he’d been with Alex that—that he couldn’t—he couldn’t process this, couldn’t make it fit with what he’d known to be true since the day he said yes to dating a boy who was already in love with someone else.

“I—Reg—I didn’t—why didn’t—” Alex stuttered, trying hard to make the words come out right, but his lips and tongue and mouth were working against him, and he couldn’t—

“Because!” Reggie exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “Because you asked me to let it go. Because you told me that you were done, that it wasn’t working anymore. I know where I’m not wanted, ‘lex—I wasn’t going to push for something you didn’t want.”

Alex felt like Reggie had punched him in the solar plexus, knocking the air from his lungs. “Reg,” he breathed, shaken. “Reg, that wasn’t—you were—of course, I wanted you.” He stepped forward and caught Reggie by the shoulders, keeping one hand on Reggie’s shoulder and the other on his cheek. “Reg, it was never about whether I wanted you.”

Reggie looked at him with confused, wide green eyes, lips parted a little, raising his own hands to curl around Alex’s wrists and Alex realized, suddenly, abruptly, that he hadn’t been this physically close to Reggie since… since the last night they’d spent together after they’d broken up.

“What does that mean?” Reggie demanded quietly, insistently.

Alex exhaled shakily and dropped his hands from Reggie’s cheek and shoulder, turning to sit on the edge of Julie’s bed. Reggie stayed on his feet for a moment longer, staring at Alex with an indecipherable expression before he sat down next to Alex. “Reg, I wanted you so much,” Alex admitted, reaching out to take one of Reggie’s hands between both of his. He’d never really put this into words before, hadn’t ever even considered putting it into words and telling Reggie, but… But Reggie did deserve to know why Alex had chosen to break up with him.

“But—” he tried, “but… you were still in love with Luke, even after… after we’d been really together for almost a year, and then I figured out Luke was in love with you too, and—God, Reg, I never wanted to be in the way of that.”

“Luke didn’t tell you how he felt about me until after we broke up,” Reggie interjected quietly, and when Alex managed to look up at him, Reggie mostly looked confused. “He told me.”

Alex nodded shakily. “I know. I knew, though,” he whispered. “I saw the way he looked at you, the way he couldn’t keep his eyes off you, the way he’d look away when he thought you would see, the way he’d blush when you hugged him.” He sighed, swallowing thickly, and looked down at their hands. “And I saw the way you looked back—even if you didn’t mean to.”

He looked up at Reggie again, at green, watery and wide with surprise. “You never looked at me the way you looked at him and I wanted that. I wanted someone who’d look at me the way you looked at him. I wanted someone who’d pick me, and Reg—”

“Who said I wouldn’t have picked you?” Reggie interrupted quietly, shakily, and when Alex looked up at him, Reggie was looking at him like… like…

“Reg,” he said desperately. “Come on. Don’t be… don’t be cruel, okay, I can handle—”

“I was in love with you,” Reggie blurted, a blush high on his cheeks, the corners of his mouth turned down just a little and a frown on his forehead. “I’m not gonna say that I wasn’t still in love with Luke too, but Alex, I—I loved you. And I thought—I thought that you just didn’t feel that way, so I got over it because you ended it, and now… now you’re telling me that you broke up with me because youdecided I wouldn’t have picked you if I knew Luke was an option?”

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18 DECEMBER 2020 (3:46 p.m.) LUKE

Luke poofed onto the pier a little before he and Reggie had arranged to meet, rubbing his hands over his thighs nervously. He and Reggie had agreed they could use some time away from the others, time spent with just the two of them—and since they’d never gone on dates while they were alive…

Reggie had suggested the beach and the pier because they’d walked it hundreds of times before and there were always people around, so they’d be able to hold hands and talk and watch other street artists play music and pretend they were a normal couple going on their first actual date.

Luke was looking forward to it, but he had to admit he was a little nervous too, which was…

Ridiculous.

“It’s just Reggie,” he told himself sternly. He’d known Reggie since they were kids, had hung out with him by themselves on countless occasions, had been dating him for months at this point and had been in love with him for ages.

It shouldn’t be this daunting.

Before he could work himself into a tiff, Reggie poofed onto the pier just a few paces from him and Luke’s corny little heart did a little flip in his chest at the sight of him.

“Hey,” he exclaimed happily, bounding towards Reggie and slinging his arms around him as soon as he was within reach. “It looks like there’s a good crowd, and I saw a couple of artists already, so—” He cut himself off when Reggie turned to look at him, green eyes bloodshot and filled with tears, cheeks pale and his lower lip red and swollen, like he’d been chewing on it all day.

“Reg,” Luke breathed, shocked, raising a hand to touch his boyfriend’s cheek lightly. “What’s going on, baby, you look—”

Reggie blinked, like he hadn’t really registered Luke was even there before he’d said something.

Then, “I… I kissed Alex.”

------

(Please blame my roommate for the cliffhanger, she said it's where I should end when I let her read it)

------

READ IT HERE:

Start from the beginning:

Unfinished Business:

(1) (2) (3)

Becoming a Memory, Becoming a Treasure:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

A Song Only You Can Hear

(1) (2) (3)

Or read it HERE (BaMBaT), HERE (UB) OR HERE (ASoYCH) on AO3 :D

#A Song Only You Can Hear #ASOYCH #Bambat #BamBat sequel #ruke #peterpatter #willex #Luke/reggie #Alex/Willie #Alex/reggie (past)#julie and the himbos #julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #my writing #Lisa writes

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