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enamation · 1 year

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if it’s okay can i request nightcord with a reader who’s peppy yet serious and caring and they want to join the group because they’re friends with kanade and what is their reactions?

Hello hallo hello !! Im literally gonna cry I had written this the second i saw the ask and right before i was going to post it i left the app since my parents had texted me and now its ALL GONE :(((, so this has been rewritten, i hope you enjoy !!

Type: Multiple Headcannons

Warnings: None

❥ NIGHTCORD at 25 + Reader: New Member?

headcannons start utc !!

KANADE YOISAKI

You had known Kanade for a while now, actually

You two had met at the music store, when Kanade was looking for a new CD to get inspiration from, she picked one that was made by your favorite group, and you started a conversation from there!!

You learned about what had been going on with her, and how she can get so immersed in music she forgets to take care of herself sometimes

This causes you to always text Kanade and remind her to do certain things for herself

Once you find out about 25-ji, it takes you a few days, but you decide to ask her if you could possibly join

She hesitates and stiffens up slightly once she reads the message

She compared the sekai, the vocaloids, and Mafuyu, to lively, sometimes serious, caring, well.. you

She first thought it might be a recipe for disaster, but she decides to ask the others first that very night before she makes her own decision

Lets find out how they react to you 🤔

❝ Ah- well, it might be a bit difficult, but I'll make sure to mention you to the others. ❞

MAFUYU ASAHINA

I mean, she didn't think that much of you, just kinda saw you as someone Kanade mentioned

When she first met you, she found you a bit annoying..

But as time went on, she suprisingly didnt mind your presence, you were just sort of something brighter than everyone else, and admired (she obviously doesnt know that) the way you can easily switch and become serious when needed

Mafuyu appreciates how you do your best to take care of Kanade and make sure she takes showers, eats, etc.

She doesnt trust you too much yet, so until Kanade decides to show you the Empty Sekai, you'll have to bear with her and her good girl persona

She doesnt mind you becoming a member at all.

❝ Welcome to 25-ji, Y/N. Its great to have you here. ❞

ENA SHINONOME

When Kanade tells the group about you, she doesnt see a reason for you being there

Whats your role 🤨❓ Kanade already is the songwriter, Mafuyu lyricist, She illustrator, Mizuki the video editor, so..... 🤔

As she hangs out with you more and understands your character, she finds comfort in you

Youre lively, youre serious, youre caring, and most importantly, you willingly act as her reference

Drawing around you calms her down alot more, and she loves talking with you even though sometimes you can get a little too happy for her liking

She would love for you to be in the group !!

❝ Thats amazing to hear !! Welcome to 25-ji Y/N !! Dont let Mafuyu scare you away, okay? ❞

You have no idea what she means by that.

MIZUKI AKIYAMA

Mizuki is the only one that thought it wouldn't hurt to have another member! That doesnt mean they don't need to meet you first, though.

Once you two finally met, they almost immediately took a liking to you!

You didnt eye them weird when they teased you, you two could goof off together, and you could take them and other things seriously immediately. Mizuki sees you as (from what they call) a 'focus point'

When they need a break from the group or the world in general, you're one of the first people they go to.

Similar to Ena, they also find comfort in you

Youre such a great person to be around, it was a yes from them before you even spoke.

❝ Yaha! I'm glad to hear you're one of us now! We're gonna have a good time together, Y/N. ❞

#♭:┆request !!#kanade yoisaki x reader #mafuyu asahina x reader #ena shinonome x reader #akiyama mizuki x reader #project sekai x reader #nightcord at 25:00 #25 ji nightcord de #25-ji

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merely-a-caricature · 9 months

Text

Kuyamu to Kaite Mirai: An Analysis

(Picture of the Project SEKAI ver.)

Before I jump into the analysis, I just though I’d preface with some basic info about the song! Kuyamu to Kaite Mirai is a song by Mafumafu (obviously) commissioned for 25-ji Nightchord de. for Project SEKAI COLORFUL STAGE! feat. Hatsune Miku. The song itself was written for 25-ji.’s Main Story. It is on the Kuyamu to Kaite Mirai/Keitai Renwa/Jackpot Sad Girl album. The song is also one of two commissioned songs of his (the other being Keita Renwa) to have a self-cover in place of a Virtual Singer version, but a Hatsune Miku version was uploaded to the game.

I’d also like to preface by saying I’m not a Proseka player, so yeah :P

Also, this is be a long post, so just beware! Analysis starts after the cut!

Now, time for the actual analysis! All the translations used here are from the Vocaloid Lyrics Wiki. Here is a link if wanna check out the lyrics and translation! I’ll also link it at the end along with links to the other pages I used info from!

Starting off with the first lyrics,

“If you pierced right through me with a knife

That would be nice, that would be nice.”

These lyrics seem pretty self-explanatory. The words seem to express a desire for pain/wanting others to inflict pain upon them for some reason. But it almost strikes me in a sort-of sarcastic manner(?) you could say?

“If you stabbed me with your absurd, pretentious speech,

That would be nice, that would be nice.”

Again, similar sentiments to the first lines. I think there is a bit of sarcasm/cynicism to these words, though. Like, the feeling of people will brushing away your problems, ignoring them, and-or minimizing them almost. That sort of feeling. Or the annoyance you feel at people that shriud themselves in a cloak of righteousness and the greasy aura they ooze. Expressing disdain for that kind of nature might also be the feeling that is trying to be communicated

“Even though I've thrown it in the trash already,

I've been hiding my entire life in the cuffs of my sleeves.”

This has some stuff to unpack. Firstly, the subject talks about throwing their life away, demonstrating a lack of value in themselves and in their life. Secondly, they talk about hiding their life in the cuffs of their sleeve. I believe it refers to putting up a facade, to faking and pretending to be okay even if you’re depressed, struggling, suicidal, etc. The way in which this is described by hiding it in the cuffs of their sleeves seems to be a possibly reference to self-harm. Concealing a part of their life literally (self-harm), but also in a more metaphorical sense hiding their life (their despair, pain, anguish)

“And there it's remained, unable to be burned, not turning into ash.”

“It” is their life, and they’re saying it has remained hidden. Their pain and suffering remained concealed from everyone else. They’ve continued to hide it. The subject seems to possibly be a bit suicidal, since the lyrics possibly to refer to ending their life, talking about how they’ve been unable to burn it and turn it to ash. They’ve been unable to dispose of this life. Or it could be in a more passive-suicidal manner like “I wish I’d just die in my sleep,” or, “Ah, I wonder what would happen if a car hit me,”. Something like that

“I want to die, I want to disappear, there's nothing left for me here,

There's no more hope in a life like this”

It is now being demonstrated much more clearly that the lyrical subject is suicidal. However, first they say they want to die then they say they want to disappear. Oftentimes, people are suicidal, but it’s not death they truly seek. There is a difference between wanting to die and not wanting to exist/live. A lot of times when when someone says they want to die, the underlying sentiment is, “I hate my current circumstances, I don’t want to live like this,” and other similar things not expressing a true desire for death (Not to say some people don’t feel truly want to die, just that in the “stages of suicide” they’re are a LOT of stages before one reaches a true desire for death,). It’s more “I want the pain to stop, I want peace, etc. than, “I don’t want to live”. So the lyrical subject is suicidal, but I don’t think they truly want to die. They’re also, obviously, very depressed as being suicidal and feeling overwhelming hopeless is indicative of depression.

They’re also very clearly depressed, stating that there is no hope in “this” kind of life. I believe this further supports my former statement, as it doesn’t seem they’re truly seeking death but an escape from the current life they’re living which seems to be influenced by their past. They want to die not because they want to death but they seeks an escape from this perceived hopeless life.

“So I'm just standing here in this nightmare,

In a world that bloomed from my choked past.”

They’ve been suffering and hiding their their feelings, and they’ve been unable to discard their life, so now they are stuck here, living life, trapped in a nightmare. The subject wants to die, wants to disappear because they are living in such a nightmarish life, living in such a horrible painful world, and this world is the result of their past. The world they’re living that is the source of this suffering, pain, and hopeless in life seems to be caused by their past. They’ve clearly experienced a traumatic and horrible past for those experience to result in such pain and despair within themselves today

“I'm broken, I'm covered in invisible wounds,”

They feel broken, utterly beaten down by life and the things they’ve experienced in past and their trauma. They’re covered in wounds that no one can see, most likely meaning emotional and mental scars, the suffering and pain they’ve silenced carried around with them. Wounds that others can’t see are often the most painful, and they’re the hardest to get taken care of

“And I know that

They won't be able to scab over.”

This seems to indicates a sort of realization from the subject. They’ve seem to have given up on their being any chance that they can heal, that their emotional and mental state can be repaired, stating that they know, for sure, that this is the case. Having hit rock bottom, lost in the depths of darkness, they truly believe there is no hope for them

“So I write the future with this lament.”

Because of the actions and words from others, because of their pain, because of the life and world they’re living in, because of how seemingly hopeless it all is, because of their helpless, because they want to die, they want to disappear, and so, they write their future with this lament

“Pretending to be alive while marching toward death,

That's life, isn't. That’s life.”

To me, this line seems to bring into question the true nature of living. Simply breathing and eating isn’t living. Living is more than a biological state of being. People often distinguish between “survival” and “living”, the former simply being alive, your heart beating and your lungs breathing while the latter emphasizes actually being present mentally, enjoying life and valuing it. So, pretending to be alive questions whether or not you’re truly experiencing life or simply going through the motions until the moment of your death. Whether or not you’re truly making a meaningful journey or simply marching towards the end point of death. Perhaps this is all there is to life, they think

“So then why were we born into this world,

In such immature, imperfect bodies

Each one with a heart still beating?”

The question behind why we even exist (which eventually brings up the question of if there even is a reason) is a very weighty inquiry to say the least. If life is merely marching on until we meet the finale, death, then what is the point in living anyways? Why were we born into bodies that are even able to function in the first place?Although these bodies are amazing and function well, they are broken and will eventually fail, but why is that? Why are we born into such a world of suffering, into bodies that will crumble, why are we born if we’re simply to die? That kind of despair, those kinds of thoughts that torment someone, the kind of future it paints is very grim, and the affect it has on someone’s mental state and worldview is massive, driving people to do all sorts of things

“That's right, I tried to get a flower to bloom

By watering it with this crumpled watering can

But there wasn't even a single seed scattered in the dirt.”

The lyrical subject tried to achieve something, tried to do something, but the seeds for such results weren’t even planted. All their efforts were in vain because there was no hope anything would happen in the first place. If the watering can is that person’s efforts, then the fact that it is crumpled may indicates they feel their attempts are somehow broken or subpar. Perhaps implying that even if there were seeds, this effort and persistence is inherently broken and would fail to bring fruit. Again, a very hopeless attitude

“That's why I slipped away, abandoned it,

The love that's like a plague on this world,”

Because your efforts are in vain, if living is just an act we’re all obligated to perform because we’re just programmed with an “I don’t want to die” instinct, they left it behind. The love described here is probably not real love but merely artificial feelings, a fake kind of care and affection, and this plagues society, and the lyrical subject wants no part in it

“And the depths of a superficial friend's affection are

Thinner than a fingernail.”

This just hammers in the disingenuousness of the friend’s love, or perhaps the kind of “love” offered by people on a societal level. This type of synthetic love that has permeated society isn’t worth picking up, so you leave it behind

“I don't know anything, I don't want to know anything.”

Ignorance is bliss after all. Feeling as though you know nothing is horrible, but maybe you feel fine this way since it would be more painful to know stuff anyways. Being dumb isn’t great, but wisdom brings it’s own curse, so maybe it’s just better to stay dumb and happy. If it’s better not to know anything, then why would you want to know anything? There’s no reason to. This sort of painfully apathetic attitude takes over the subjects mind

“I know that

There's no deeper meaning behind these words anyway,”

This lyrics puzzles me a bit. I sort of think of it in this way: When you’re in an unhealthy state of mind, you’re depressed, those types of darks thoughts will enter your head without you even realizing. Maybe you don’t even truly mean the things you say, but it’s just become instinct and habit to say them anyways. If that’s the case, then my words aren’t really worth that much if they’re just phrases I offer up on instinct. Although the fact it is habitual is indicative of something deeper going on. This song is in a first-person POV, but our narrator is clearly not doing well, so they can’t be entirely trusted to be reliable. They say their words have no greater meaning, but this is coming from someone who doesn’t value their life and is clearly depressed, so you’d likely want to take such words with a grain of salt. But then does that mean when they vent their worries and they get philosophical we should take that with a grain of salt? No, definitely not. You have to be careful when listening to these sort of self-deprecating comments

“So I write that future with this lament.”

Having established this uncertainty of the meaning of purpose of life and the reason for suffering and death, having realized a seemingly futile effort, because the love of this world is so superficial, so empty and lacking, because of the things stated before, the lyrical subject composes a future filled with lament, and they despair.

“I only have enough wax on this candle to last me one way,

And I'm desperately trying to keep it aflame.

In the dimly lit inch I can see ahead,

Who do those tracks belong to, who's the one who's fallen into a hole?”

This set of lyrics is longer, but it will make more sense with all of them together.

Firstly, I believe the candle is motivation for living or simply just your life. If it was the case, then it would sort of make sense that you only have enough “wax” for a one-way trip, since you don’t really need a reason for living when you’re dead (and your life ends when you die, obviously). That might also explains why you would desperately try to keep it aflame. Of course we want to cling to a reason, a motivation for living and wanting to live, and we definitely want to live, right? Life is valuable, but simply knowing life is valuable isn’t enough for keep moving forward. That will to live is enough to at least give you some insight into the future, to she’s some light on the path in front of you, hence the “dimly lit inch”.

Continuing with this theme, the lyrics describe the lyrical subject finds someone who’s fallen into a hole. I would presume this is because their “candle” has burnt out. They could no longer see ahead, they were left in the darkness and fell into a pit. Their will to live (or just simply their life) burnt out, and now they find themselves at rock-bottom, or worse, they have ended it all (or just died from causes that weren’t self-inflicted(). The tracks could perhaps refer to how they’re signs that someone is depressed, a change in their attitude and behavior and general demeanor. If taken to mean they’ve killed themselves, then those tracks could represent the warning signs (most suicides are premeditated). Or going with the candle just simply being an allegory for life, it could mean their were warning signs of the imminent death

“That's life for you, the life that we have.”

The kind of life we’re gifted is beautiful and amazing. Life truly is a gift and a miracle. However, we’re also gifted a life that is incredibly difficult and challenging. We’re given a life where we have to fight to stay alive and keep the desire to live aflame.

“Was the very act of being born

A mistake?”

Given everything that has already been established by the lyrical subject in this song, the question of whether or not being born is a mistake is a natural one to reach. Additionally, this sounds very much like something that would be said by someone who is depressed and/or suicidal. A lack of self-worth and being unable to see the value in life or one’s life would lead to questions of whether or not their existence is truly meaningful or purposeful. With the kind of attitude and outlook on the world the lyrical subject has established (shallow love, a painful, cursed existence, hopelessness, despair, etc.) the idea possibility if one’s birth being a mistake can’t help but come to mind. And the implications that come if one’s birth truly was a mistake cannot be understated

“I want to die, I want to disappear, there's nothing left for me here,”

Again, this hopelessness and anguish is present in the lyrical subject’s thinking.

“There's no more hope in a life like this.”

This lack of hope in life and the future is indicative of a depressed state of mind and/or the possibility of suicidal feelings

“So I'm just standing here in this nightmare,

In a world that bloomed from my choked past.”

Once more, the things that happens in their past, the pain and anguish they were inflicts still haunts them to this day causing their world to be like a nightmare. They feel helpless to do anything so they just simply stand there and experience it without any possibility of changing things for the better.

“I'm broken, I'm covered in invisible wounds,

And I know that

They won't be able to scab over.”

The emotional and mental scars from their past are evident. They don’t express hope of ever healing. It just seems so hopeless

“So I write the future with this lament.”

Because of this utter hopelessness and helplessness, they write write the future with lament

“I'll write the future with this lament.”

This is the way they see the future. There’s nothing good waiting for them, and this life is just going to end with death, so they continue to lament.

“I want to disappear, I want to disappear

How many times have I said that to myself by now?”

When someone is depressed, when someone is suicidal, one of the symptoms is being preoccupied with death and constantly thinking of death. Before you know it, you’re mind is constantly fixated on death, your death, others’ deaths. You just can’t help but think and wonder about it. It’s almost frightening how easy it is to fantasize or contemplate dying or simply disappearing from this world. But, as I stated before, not wanting to exist, wanting to disappear, is not synonymous with wanting to die. Even so, it can seem almost surreal to realize how far you’ve fallen and how dark your thoughts have become. That is the sentiment expressed with these words.

“Please, give me regrets, so that I can no longer dream.”

Quite frankly, I’m not quite sure what this is supposed to mean. Maybe they don’t want to dream because dreaming and failing would be to painful. Or maybe holding onto dresms in such a hopeless and terrible world with only a dark future isn’t worth it. They don’t want to desire anymore because it ain’t worth prolonging this life of suffering and walking towards an endlessly dark future. They’ve lost any hope, they’ve just complete given up. They lament the future and it’s led them to give up on dreaming or desiring. That is the culmination of everything before.

Resources:

Lyrics and song info

Kuyamu to Kaite Mirai Translation on the Vocaloid Lyrics Wiki

Kuyamu to Kaite Mirai on Vocaloid Wiki

Kuyamu to Kaite Mirai on the Project SEKAI Wiki

Other

What is depression?

DSM-5 criteria for depression

Are suicidal acts spontaneous or premeditated?; the nature of suicidal acts

Passive suicidal ideation; what’s the difference between active and passive?

“It’s not That I Don’t Want to Die | It’s That I Don’t Want to Exist”

#mafumafu #utaite #25 ji nightcord de #song analysis #just a huge mafu fan!#not a proseka player #vocaloid #kinda i guess #tw depression #tw sucidal ideation #tw su1cide #project sekai #proseka #25-ji #project sekai colorful stage

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