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Stage 1 of The Great Malle Mountain Rally, from the start line in Austria and into Italy and the Dolomites for Sella and Rolle Pass, before heading West across the Tyrol.... 🏔🏍🏰📸 @shaneobenson @mallelondon @royalenfieldeurope @morganmotor @breitling_uk #TheGreatMalleMountainRally #1500Miles #Rally #Motorcycle #RallySquad #RealAdventure #MotorcycleAdventure #roadtrip #TheAlps #alps #travel #Alps #InappropriateMotorcycle #Custom #Classic #CafeRacer #MalleLondon #MotorcycleRally #PreparedToGetLost (at Dolomites Italy) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cib7mZLozvb/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
#thegreatmallemountainrally#1500miles#rally#motorcycle#rallysquad#realadventure#motorcycleadventure#roadtrip#thealps#alps#travel#inappropriatemotorcycle#custom#classic#caferacer#mallelondon#motorcyclerally#preparedtogetlost
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so I had a conversation with my mom. putting it under a Keep Reading because it touches on some subjects that might upset people
My mom called me crying yesterday saying that she had to leave a vacation with my nieces and their dad early because my eldest niece, Kaylynn, is turning into a carbon copy of her mother. Their mother who refuses to go to their track meets because she doesn't want to be bored. Who made my life a living hell growing up and told me to kill myself. Who none of us want anything to do with because of how much of a manipulative (but bad at it) rabid cunt she is. Who my parents completely disowned to the point where my mom gathered up every picture she had of her from baby onwards and burned them.
Apparently their mother has been telling Kaylynn that their grandma was a horrible mother and abused her and everything that's happened to her (Amanda) is her fault. It's bullshit. Amanda (their mom) takes absolutely no accountability for her own actions. It's all everyone else's fault, not hers.
My mom then asked me if she was a terrible mother and she told me to be honest. If you all know me, I have no problems with honesty if I believe the person needs to hear the truth. I won't lie to people, but as I've said many times before, I believe everyone should be honest, but there's a fine line between being an asshole and being honest and that is how you word things.
For example: If my room mate comes to me wearing a new dress or outfit and asks me how she looks, but it doesn't look good, I'm not going to tell her "You look like shit." I'm going to say "Not really your style, I'd go with something else." I still told her that I didn't think it looked good, but I wasn't an asshole about it.
Back to mom.
She asked me if she was a horrible mother and she told me to be honest. Now, in the past, whenever she asked me to be honest about something and then I was, I would get punished because I told her something she didn't actually want to hear. But I'm 1500miles away so fuck it.
I told her she wasn't terrible all the time. She had moments when she was a great mom, but there were a lot of moments when she wasn't. I told her that the reason why I hate asking for help, with anything, is because whenever I did I was yelled at, called stupid, and made to feel like an annoyance and a burden for asking.
Me: Hey, mom, what does this word mean?
Mom: OH MY GOD CATE JUST LOOK IT UP
She doesn't remember any of this.
I told her that she didn't want children. She wanted fully-formed mini-adults who she didn't have to raise and teach and guide because that was all done before, but she got children who she did have to put that effort into and it pissed her off.
My mom was physically abused when she was growing up, by her father and her step-father, beaten severely many times. She had to grow up and be an adult very quickly because that was expected of her as the eldest girl (my mom has 5 brothers and sisters, she's the oldest out of 3 girls, Wilhelm (Billy) is the oldest out of 3 boys). She wasn't allowed to be a child. So when she had children, she didn't know what to do so she fell back on how she was raised.
Now, before you reach for the pitchforks, my mom never laid a hand on us. That was my dads job But it's as if she thought that if she didn't hit us, she wasn't abusing us, but there are many different kinds of abuse. My mom was emotionally and mentally abusive. She was overbearing and overprotective. I didn't need anyone in my life, I just needed her. I didn't need friends, I just needed her. Then there were moments when I was honestly terrified of her. When she would scream at me over the little things until she was red in the face and I was crying, and then she would yell at me for "fake" crying.
My sister lied and said that I swore, she lied a lot to try to get me into trouble and it nearly always worked. My mom yelled at me to admit it, kept saying that I was lying when I said I didn't (because I didn't) and that would make her yell at me more for lying. It culminated in her pushing me to the ground. I told her she pushed me and she said "I didn't push you, you tripped." (gaslighting) My sister eventually fessed up that she only thought I swore and my mom dropped it. I never got an apology. I was 5.
Growing up, she would come into my room in the middle of the night to "check on me" but when she would step on something because my room was messy because I was a child, she would scream at me to wake up and make me clean my room. In the middle of night. Regardless if I had school the next day. This happened many times until she finally got sick of it and threw all my stuff away, ripping posters off the walls, throwing away books and stuffed animals. I tried to hide books in between my mattress and box spring so I would at least have something, my sister who was helping her found them, asked why I had books there and mom responded with "She's a slob, why wouldn't she have them there." She never stopped to think that maybe I was hiding them so they wouldn't get destroyed and why would I have to hide them to begin with.
When I was older and had a drivers license, she would ask me to go to the store, or do this or that, but it was okay if I told her no. If I did tell her no because I was tired from school or work, she would yell at me, calling me lazy and ungrateful, and then she would call my dad to tell him how lazy and ungrateful I was. I had the choice to say no, but god forbid I actually did, so I didn't really have a choice. I had the illusion of a choice.
When I told her that I was moving to Texas, she broke down into tears and begged me to stay because if I moved that far away, she wouldn't be able to visit me. I reminded her that when I was with my ex, living 15minutes away, she didn't visit me.
"But I could have!"
But you didn't.
"I'm not dying, mom, I'm just moving away."
"But it feels like you are!"
She tried to manipulate me into staying to spare her feelings, when being in that house with her was going to kill me. She wanted me to stay because she wanted someone to rely on her, when I haven't relied on her in years at that point. She tried to keep be close, but the more she tightened her grip, the more I pushed her away.
I left anyway because I needed to.
I told her all of this. Every last bit of it. Her response?
"I don't remember any of this."
"Well of course you don't, mom. For you it was Tuesday, for me it's a core memory."
"We were always such great friends when you were growing up."
"Yeah, when I wasn't terrified of you."
She had moments when she was honestly awesome, but then there were moments when she very much wasn't and I didn't think there was anything wrong with that because she wasn't horrible all the time, so that must be normal, right? Spoiler alert, no it isn't. It's not normal. You should never be terrified of your parents. You should never have to walk on eggshells around them for fear of them turning their anger on you. You shouldn't have to think about what you say to them and how you say it for every interaction because you know if you say it a certain way, you'll get screamed at.
Now before you say "Well maybe Amanda has a point." I want you to realize that I didn't turn out like she did. Nature vs Nurture. And also, Amanda was also incredibly abusive to me growing up and was one of my main tormentors (again, she told me to kill myself because no one would miss me anyway).
"Well, she was being bullied, so she bullied you. It's only natural."
Bullshit.
I was bullied. At home and at school and I never treated anyone how I was treated. I know what it's like so I make damn sure no one else feels that way because of me. I don't make other people suffer just because I suffered. I take accountability for my actions. If I fuck up, I own up to it and I make sure I don't do it again. With Amanda everything is everyone else's fault. She has never done anything wrong ever, never will, and if you say she has, it was someone else. No one else has ever experienced what she has in the history of the world and never will. She told our parents they didn't know what it was like to raise two girls and how difficult it was. I'm sorry, what? She said this to our parents who raised us (regardless of how) that they don't understand because they've never done it.
Amanda has some kind of psychopathy. She's malignantly narcissistic to the point where she hurts everyone around her to make everything all about her. She carefully crafts different personas depending on who she's talking to so she appears to be the best most wonderful person they've ever met in their entire life and when she's got their hooks in them and they're dependent on her, the real Amanda comes out.
She tries to manipulate people in her life, but again, she's bad at it, so it's pretty fucking easy to see through it if you know her. It's why we want nothing to do with her. It's why my parents disowned her. She fucks up and she tries to twist it around so it's actually someone else's fault and we should all hate them. They're the horrible person, not her, never her. She's perfect in every way, and if you try to say anything against her, you're evil and everyone should hate you too and she will try to get everyone to hate you.
But I digress
I told mom all of this (before the Amanda bit) and she thanked me for being honest with her. For not sugarcoating it. For straight up telling her "Yeah, you did your best, but your best was shit and it hurt us."
She asked me to forgive her, that she hoped that one day I would be able to forgive her for what she's done.
I'm not Amanda. I got down off that cross years ago, used the wood to build a bridge, and got over it.
I forgave her a long time ago and I told her that. She thanked me again, we talked for a few more minutes on some other things, and that was that.
If you made it this far, have a cookie.
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not sure if this would work but could a potential outlet be a ficlet where dnp are doing Exactly what you wish you could in that moment
These are rather kind especially as that complain-y posts was just exactly the kind of thing I’m supposed to be freezing aksnfk but it was non-specific enough that I let it slip through as like me ~expressing myself~
So that middle anon (if you’re different anons) has a good example of impulse buying which is not quite what my issues are but is usually one of my coping mechanisms, I’ll go to the dollar store for craft supplies or to joanns for yarn or to goodwill for vhs— it’s impulse spending on a budget 👍 another one is changing my hair, usually with an anxiety-fueled 3am kitchen scissor snip but last time it was breaking out the blue box dye 😬 but like ,, that’s my gay right ain’t it?!
Those aren’t really the kind of impulses my therapist is concerned about. Those are actions. She is much more worried about my impulsive reactions. I’m an overcorrector, childhood trauma blah blah blah— if I fear I have upset someone (whether the upsetting is real or imagined) I jump in to try to correct it and in fact make things uhh much much worse. In an attempt to explain myself clearly, I talk in circles. In an attempt to show sincerity, I make too big of promises. (I recently had my aunt talk me in to flying 1500miles to dogsit while she goes to the Bahamas for a wedding and had to call her back and tell her no actually, that’s crazy, there’s an ongoing pandemic and I haven’t been well enough to get out of my house more than two days a week in months🙃 that did. Not end well.) In an attempt to make up for external stressors that I worry are effecting people around me— traffic, long waits at the doctor office, bad weather— I convince myself it’s my fault the person is having to deal with these and internalize that impossible stress/guilt.
Basically ,, the 24hr hold is that I have to give myself time to sit with those reactions. I can’t let them be my immediate reaction, that’s an old coping mechanism that doesn’t serve me anymore and has damaged some of my most important relationships. I need to sit with my reaction and know that when I do give it, it’s not me overcorrecting or trying to clean up a mess. It’s just me genuinely reacting
As with most thing ,, it takes practice. I’m not yet great at it
First anon has a good idea, I couldn’t fic exactly what my impulse itches are but writing at all would probably help a bit with the like processing and distracting, and hell just the enjoyment of doing something I love lol
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THE DISTANCE HAS BEEN CLOSED!!!
THE LDR IS OVER!!!
After nearly 8 years of friendship and 4 years of dating, I (Bram), have moved from WA to AZ.
1500 miles is now 0 miles.
To all of you in an ldr: we love you! You can do this! Work hard to love hard. This blog isn't going anywhere, so you're always welcome to ask us for any advice you might need!
#ldr#long distance relationship#words#love#long distance love#long distance blog#ldr blog#motivation#photography#long distant relationship#cute#long distance#1500miles#our photos#text post#inspiration#close the distance#closing the distance
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10/07/2018 7.97 miles*/12.83 kilometers
Sunday was not my day
YTD: 967.70 miles
17 days in a row
532.30 miles left
87 days left
6.12 miles per day
Did some shopping with my family on Saturday; my son is trying to impersonate the mannequin while my daughter is just ... sitting on it?
Later on I met up with @coffeeandmuscles, @runsforredvelvet, @excelwithpassion, @breatherunlive, @lindsaydoeslife, and @z-is-existing for some passable mexican food and good times (and drinks) at Alarmist Brewing. I kept to the cider since beer tends to have gluten, but once I saw these Haunted Ghost Pepper chips I had to buy a bag. At first they weren’t too hot, but after eating several the heat really built up.
Then comes Sunday morning. I woke up nearly on time, took care of the necessaries, and got a text from Carlo that they were running early (Greg offered to give me a ride to the marathon along with Carlo). Oops!
Perhaps I wasn’t thinking particularly clearly, but I decided to skip bringing house keys.
Narrator: This turned out to be a mistake.
We parked Greg’s car and walked to Carlo’s office and took care of some last minute preparations. Walked over to the start and waited. And waited.
Finally the race starts, and I stayed with Carlo and Greg for what my watch reported as about 2-3 miles, but I told them I’d have to slow down. Which I had been planning to do anyhow - so no big thing.
I kept on until around mile 4-5 I saw spotted @sequoiaman1968 on the side of the course so I had to stop and introduce myself since I hadn’t yet met him.
I was feeling gradually worse (I had a pretty taxing taekwondo class on Saturday, and I didn’t go into my Saturday evening festivities thinking I had to do anything particularly special the next day) so I took some more walk breaks, and finally decided to pull myself off the course once I got to Belmont.
I had told my wife there was now zero chance of me making my way back south and that I’d likely just hop an Uber home - I knew this was a possibility so I made sure I didn’t need to use gear drop. What I didn’t expect was that I’d peter out so far in advance of my kids - it turns out I got home before they did, and I didn’t have my keys.
My neighbor has a spare set of keys, and she normally has a hiding spot for a key to her house, so I planned on finding her key, going into her house and finding the key to my house, and then going inside to strip off my wet clothes and warm up. Well, I couldn’t find her spare key, so I just opened up my garage (via keypad) and huddled in there until my wife got home.
I was pretty miserable. Bone deep cold, sore legs from taekwondo and some portion of the marathon course, wet, shivering, gatorade not sitting well in my stomach ... I pretty much crashed out on the couch the rest of the day.
* Garmin giveth, and Garmin taketh away. The actual mileage was closer to 7 by the point where I pulled myself off the course, but thanks to the poor GPS tracking through the city it counted extra mileage.
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800miles SOBO brings my total mileage to 1500! Oregon is commonly called the "Green tunnel" on the PCT, but there really hasn't been a shortage of views. Even though lava rocks are cool to look at, I would very much turn down any offers to walk over them for 6.5 miles again. A well placed cabin was a great place to wait out a rainstorm for a few hours. I learned that a competitive game of Uno is the fastest way to turn complete strangers into best friends/mortal enemies. #justsaynotolavarocks #adventuring #pct2019 #obsidianfalls #1500miles #pct https://www.instagram.com/p/B1obIC4Hhb5/?igshid=1t6z47fbzn6c6
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In 39 days Divine Truth will be residents of WI again. #thebigmove #1500miles #divinetruth #divinepartners #spiritleads #journeyoftheheart #familyinservice #westicktogether #togetherwewin https://www.instagram.com/p/BwXVqERH1Gz/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=195whre8iybk3
#thebigmove#1500miles#divinetruth#divinepartners#spiritleads#journeyoftheheart#familyinservice#westicktogether#togetherwewin
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I chodź ode mnie daleko jesteś ja to wiem będziemy razem znów.
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Steak, As In Beefsteak Tomato, Is The "Chillest" Cat Even Throughout A 1,500-Mile Highway Journey
How do you retain a beefsteak tomato recent for a 1500-mile-long haul?
When the tomato in query is a 16-lbs ginger cat, be certain he has a litter field, a seat on the picnic basket, and a few wonderful street journey views!
However why would an enormous ginger cat have to journey from California to Texas?
As a result of his without end dwelling was ready on the finish of the journey.
Diane Barber/Facebook
Steak the Cat, the “Chillest” Tomato Round
Steak is an enormous ginger boy. He’s so purple and spherical, he reminds one a beefsteak tomato! Therefore, the unforgettable identify Steak. And whereas he could seem like a tricky tom, he’s actually only a huge snugglepuss who likes to purr. The truth is, Greatest Associates Los Angeles told potential adopters, “What do you get once you combine a tank with a teddy bear? You get a cuddly hunk of a cat named Steak!”
Diane Barber/Facebook
However to be such a very good kitty, he’s had some dangerous luck.
Steak shared, “My story begins in California. The Metropolis of Angels really, and that’s precisely what I discovered after I was picked up as a stray by the LA Department of Animal Services.”
Although he had a painful case of scabies, Steak was nonetheless the gentlest of cats, and “he greeted each stranger as in the event that they had been simply mates he was ready to fulfill,” according to Greatest Associates.
Read the full article
#1500Mile#Beefsteak#Blog#Cat#Catparenting#Chillest#Dog#dogParenting#Help#helpingtips#k9#Pet#Pets#Petshelpblog#Road#Steak#Tomato#Trip
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Everytime i turn on notifs for you im like “damn this girl really be rebloging everything at 1500miles an hour speedlight ultra fast”
im sorryfyfhfhd i told yall im offline for like 16 hours straight then suddenly i rb 150 posts in a row
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Run to the hills...and then ride up into the mountains! Rally Stage 4 enters France for the first time. @tomkahler 🏁🏔📸🏍🇫🇷 #TheGreatMalleMountainRally #1500Miles #Rally #Motorcycle #RallySquad #RealAdventure #MotorcycleAdventure #roadtrip #TheAlps #alps #travel #Alps #InappropriateMotorcycle #Custom #Classic #CafeRacer #MalleLondon #MotorcycleRally #PreparedToGetLost (at Samoens Sixt Fer À Cheval) https://www.instagram.com/p/CikU-OZoMqz/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
#thegreatmallemountainrally#1500miles#rally#motorcycle#rallysquad#realadventure#motorcycleadventure#roadtrip#thealps#alps#travel#inappropriatemotorcycle#custom#classic#caferacer#mallelondon#motorcyclerally#preparedtogetlost
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how do you get a girl that looks like she is ready for a photoshoot when wearing what is basically pajamas (simple cotton T/shorts)? and after you get her, how are you not down on one knee? last thing, all the people who were like "omg, cant believe megan missed her own tournament but is going to Sue's." you cant leave that girl alone? You get a girl that looks like that, you follow her to the end of the world. Imagine seeing your girl look like that but ON A SCREEN. 1500miles away from you
pinoe has been injured for so long that she wouldn't risk her knee on that type of tournament when the olympics is like probably her last major tournament and also who in their right mind would not want to hang out with sue bird all the time especially if you get to kiss her whenever
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I just felt like sharing with you guys, cause if you don't follow my LDR blog @1500miles you don't know that I closed the distance with my boyfriend! We live together now!! Our 4 year anniversary is in December and a proposal from my bf is gonna be happening at any surprise moment and I'm so happy ;o;
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Life update!
Our last visit together happened at the end of March. Bram came down to Arizona for a week. This was his last time "visiting" me! Because next time he's here, he's here to stay!
Bram is nearing the end of his very last quarter of college; he's graduating mid-June! I'll be flying out to Washington to see him for his graduation.
Then, after a summer of working, planning, and packing, Bram will FINALLY be moving to Arizona. We plan to close the distance in September!
-Aurora
#ldr#long distance relationship#love#long distance love#long distance blog#ldr blog#long distance#1500miles#our photos#couple#ldr couple#ldr love
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10/08/2018 2.82 miles/4.54 kilometers
Another Monday without tunes :(
YTD: 970.52 miles
18 days in a row
529.48 miles left
84 days left
6.30 miles per day
Man these numbers are depressing.
I just didn’t have the motivation in me to do any more today.
Sigh.
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Pong Na Palian ป๋อง ณ ปะเหลียน ร้องเพลงแม่ ในเทปที่ระลึก งานพระราชทานเพล...
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