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avocado-writing · 5 months

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pairing: 14th doctor x reader & 10th doctor x reader

rating: E

notes: no gender or age given for reader, just that you last saw the doctor fifteen years ago. thank you to @mcganns for being my beta!!

This too shall pass.

It was a sentiment that you had to cling onto when he left, because fuck knows it was the most painful thing you’d ever felt. And you’d run away from actual explosions before. Big ones, in space! Supernovas which could eat entire planets while you hung onto the side of a little blue box.

And yet none of it even begins to compare to when he fucking left you.

He said it wouldn’t be forever. Well, he shouted it at you as you fell out of the TARDIS. There was a time explosion, and you got rocketed back to your little flat in the middle of Hackney, on Earth only a few days from when he’d picked you up — but in your reality months of adventure had passed.

You’d not really settled back in, certain that he was going to come and rescue you. But then days turned into weeks into months and you finally accepted that the Doctor had abandoned you.

So you went back to it all. Your mundane little existence before a mad, brilliant man had whisked you away. Your boss was a bit miffed that you’d gone AWOL but you were their best employee so they couldn’t afford to let you go, all you got was a slap on the wrist and a command not to let it happen again. The people you loved didn’t really seem to notice your absence that much, which stung; you couldn’t blame them though. You’d probably not miss you much either.

The Doctor. He made you feel special in a way nobody had before. Like you were the centre of a whole, giant, fantastic universe, and he adored you for it.

Still.

No point mulling that over again, is there?

Fifteen years. Things did get better. You moved on eventually. But you still find your thoughts drifting back to him every once in a while, and that fragment of time you spent totally utterly in love with each other. When you think about the way he kissed you, without realising it you end up touching your lips.

No. No. Stop.

The singing of the kettle snaps you back into reality, and you pour yourself a hot cuppa. Ah, tea. The antidote to everything. You go to turn the radio on for some company as you shift into your morning routine when you hear a knock at the door.

Probably the postie. He’s a bit early today, you think, but make no more of it as you undo the latch and open the door.

Your heart stops.

Because there he is, of course.

Older. Weathered. Not the young man you once knew but a grownup version of him, as exhausted by life as you are.

You drop your mug. Quick as a flash the Doctor grabs it out of midair. The tea sloshes onto the floor but at least nothing gets shattered.

He goes to look up at you, but his attention is drawn back to his hand.

“I bought you this mug years ago,” he says, utterly amazed.

You shut the door in his face.

Well, you try to, anyway. But he sticks a foot in between the door and the frame, with one of those stupid Converse he always wears.

“I know you’re angry, I know. But please let me come in.”

It’s such an absurd statement you find yourself laughing, a high and desperate noise.

“Absolutely not!” Actually, no. That’s not enough. “How dare you. Why are you even here?!”

“Because I wanted— I needed to see you.”

You still want to slam the door on him, but there’s a desperation to his voice that gives you pause. And when he looks at you with those sad, puppy-dog eyes? Those eyes as lined with age as you are?

Fuck. You’re so weak.

So that’s how you find the Doctor sitting at your kitchen table with a cup of tea in front of him. You lean against the counter, defences still up, eyeing him from over the top of your mug. He drums his fingers against the tablecloth.

“I like your house. Your calendar is nice, I enjoy the kitten motif.”

“Don’t,” you spit, slamming the mug down and sloshing tea onto the floor, “don’t you dare. You don’t get to waltz back here and start telling me ‘oh, I enjoy your furnishings, haven’t you made a nice little life for yourself since I abandoned you!’ I let you in to speak your piece, though god knows why. Say it and be done.”

The Doctor looks deflated. His shoulders sag, mouth falls. You take a moment to properly look at him. He seems… tired. Tired in a way you never knew him to be when you went on your adventures. Part of you wants to offer comfort, but the other part of you wants to withhold it maliciously. Anything to make him feel the way you felt.

“I looked for you,” is what he settles on, heavily. You didn’t expect that, and it knocks you.

“What?”

“I did. After the explosion, I tried searching all over the galaxy for you. I didn’t know where - when - you’d ended up. I scanned and scanned but something stopped you from appearing on the TARDIS’s sensors. I think… the amount of artron energy emitted during the blast somehow cloaked you.”

You say nothing, your silence an invitation for him to continue his explanation.

“It took years. Literal years, for me. Every spare moment I had, I dedicated to looking for you. Head buried in the circuitry of the TARDIS, trying to fix whatever was hiding you, gave myself a couple of nasty shocks too. And, when I finally tracked you down, I’d regenerated.”

You blink. Right. Yes. He’d explained that, but you’d never seen it with your own eyes. The same person, a different face.

“I didn’t know if you’d want to see me if I didn’t look like me. But I had to try anyway, didn’t I? So I came here. To your house. I got myself all ready for it, knocked on your door… and found that you were married.”

Your fingers grip the counter.

“Oh.”

“He seemed nice. Loved you a lot, as you deserved. And I couldn’t tell you I was back, could I? I saw you pottering around in the kitchen, making the tea - you were always the best at making tea - and you were happy. How could I ask you to leave that all, uproot the life you’d made for yourself, just to jump back in the TARDIS with me? How could I be so cruel? I couldn’t, could I. So I left again. Tried to move on. Like you did.”

You’re crying now. You can feel hot tears slide down your face and soak into your jumper.

“Oh, Doctor,” you manage. You want to tell him so much. It feels like it might burst out of you. But instead you settle on:

“Why now?”

He smiles thinly.

“Because somehow I got this face back, and I wanted to see you. I wanted to be selfish for once.”

You find yourself at the table, on the wonky chair opposite him, sliding your hand over to cover his. It’s rough and warm. Just like you remember. He says your name with reverence, but like it pains him.

“I never stopped loving you. Ever. Through it all, every adventure, I knew it wasn’t complete because you weren’t there. It just wasn’t the same without wonderful, brilliant you,” he admits. He sounds defeated. It breaks your heart — or, actually, it might just put it back together again.

A beat passes. His confession lingers in the air, heavy, thick and choking like smoke from an untameable fire.

“His name was Simon. He was a baker. He was lovely, actually… and we got divorced two years ago.”

The Doctor’s brow furrows.

“You… what… why?”

“Because he knew there was someone else I never really let go of. Someone else who, despite everything, I still loved.”

He looks you in the eyes, and you see something glimmer there that you long since gave up on.

Hope.

And then, suddenly, you’re kissing.

It’s like nothing has changed. His lips are still rough and searching on yours, a hint of tongue giving away into more the deeper you entangle. He sits you up on the table and steps into the space left by your spread legs, and between each kiss he says your name. It’s full of adoration but lined with desperation, too.

Like the kisses he gave you the first night you laid together, on a bed in his spaceship floating across the galaxy. When he buried himself inside you and you felt his two hearts beat in rhythm with your own.

“Doctor…” you manage.

Fuck. You need him. You didn’t realise how badly you needed him. You didn’t realise a piece of your soul has been missing this whole time, fucking torn out of you and leaving a jagged hole in its wake. And him, back, telling you he loves you and always has? You’re patched together like kintsugi.

Your Doctor is the molten gold you need.

“Please. I need to…” he’s so desperate he can barely get the words out, but you nod; he’s undoing the belt buckle of your jeans and pulling them off like they’re silk. When his thin waist meets yours you cross your ankles behind him and lock him into place, and his hands - a little fumbling, a little nervous to be mapping out the plain of you again - begin to trace your chest. You lean into his touch to let him know yes. This is okay. I want this. Make me whole again.

His warm, rough palms slide under the hem of your shirt and lift it easily over your head, the only break in a while you take from your kiss. You let yourself grab his tie to bring him closer. He’s fully dressed still and you’re almost naked; you remember how he used to like that, enjoy feeling a bit more put together than you. Cheeky blighter. Still though, as his suit scratches your skin, you can’t say you don’t agree.

However. In this instance he has far too many clothes.

You tug at his jacket and he knows what you need, letting it fall to the floor with his tie and waistcoat following it. He ruts against you as he unbuttons his shirt a bit, not the whole way, but just enough for you to feel the warmth of his chest. He’s so skinny. You’ve always been a bit worried that, on one of your rougher days, you might snap him in half. You still are now, actually.

Cupping his face in your hands you let your thumbs caress his cheekbones. Your Doctor. Older but the same. Just like you.

You can feel him more than half-hard against your leg. No more time wasting. You need him. You need him, you need him, you need him.

It doesn’t take long to undo his fly and have him in your hand. You’ll always be glad he chose this human anatomy. Though you’d love him no matter how he looks, there’s something wonderful about his cock as it is here. He lets his head fall forward onto your shoulder with a moan if your name.

“Oh… you’re…”

“Mmm hmm,” you agree, a genuine smile passing your face for the first time in god knows how long. He’s just the right length and on the thick side, and you know what a delicious stretch he is when he pushes inside of you. You can’t wait to feel it again. A couple of pumps and he’s ready, dripping precome and a ruddy red. Another time you’d bend down and taste him, remind yourself what a Time Lord’s cock is like. But now today. Well, not now.

You lay back, readjusting yourself so he can push your underwear to the side and find your entrance. A couple of fingers - those long, delicate, clever and cunning fingers - press inside you and test you out. You’re ready for him. He makes a choked noise in the back of his throat as he realises and you laugh, properly, throwing your head back.

“Come on, Doctor. Show me that you’ve missed me.”

He used to never shut up. And now he’s stunned into a desperate silence, lining up with you and pushing in as he does his best to make you feel what he’s been feeling too.

A loneliness is fixed. He slides home inside you and your hips meet, the both of you letting out a long and ragged breath. You sit there for a moment, locked in the most intimate embrace, and just feel each other. You fist your hands in his shirt. He’s here. He’s real. You feel him trace his palm up your back as if you assure himself of the same thing.

Slowly he begins to move. It is a long and lovely drag, his cock hitting all the points you missed being touched, and when he feels you gasp he goes harder. The Doctor nuzzles into the skin of your neck, nestling to the warmth of you there, and you hear him repeat a mantra both of your name and “I love you”.

Over and over. As if the two phrases are inextricably linked.

You’re so full. You’re so light. Everything feels perfect in this moment. And when he reaches between your bodies to touch your sex, push you to the edge, you know you’ll climax for him embarrassingly fast.

When you come you see stars light up behind your eyes. The sky, the unfiltered and untamed sky takes you over. The Doctor says your name one final fine and releases inside you, his hips riding it out as if to savour every second in the sweet grip of you.

He can’t look at your face when he asks you. He says it from the safety of your shoulder where his face is buried, because if you say no you know his heart will shatter.

“Come with me, in the TARDIS again. I know I shouldn’t ask you to leave your home but… you complete me, you know. Always have.”

“Leave my home?! Doctor, don’t be daft. This is just a house in bloody Hackney. You’re my home.”

You pull back to meet his gaze. He’s tired, but bright. His eyes twinkle. And there’s the Doctor you know.

“And of course,” you continue. And, as the smile engulfs his face and he lights up, “it’s not like I’m doing anything else, am I?”

This time, when you go AWOL from your job, you never come back.

#The doctor x reader #Doctor who x reader #the doctor x you #david tennant x reader #10th doctor x reader #tenth doctor x reader #14th doctor x reader #fourteenth doctor x reader #my writing #full disclosure only seen the star beast so far lol

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thedreamwraptwriter · 2 years

Text

Snap

Tenth Doctor x Reader; Eleventh Doctor x Reader; 14th Doctor x Reader (David Tennant Version)

Prompt: inspired by the song Snap by Rosa Linn. The Reader deals with the aftermath of being the Doctor’s companion and unrequited love. Also, with the announcement of David Tennant’s return, I had to include his “14th” Doctor in this as well!

Word Count: 5490

Warnings: brief mention of depression (nothing in detail)

Note: [Y/N] = Your Name; [D/N] = Dog’s Name. I apologize in advance about the Dalek section as I am not overly familiar with their history and am basing them/their lore off of the couple of episodes I’ve watched.

It's 4 AM

I can't turn my head off

Wishin' these memories would fade

They never do

I rolled over in bed, restless, unable to sleep. Visions of space, a smiling man, and a blue police box swirled in my head. It felt like a dream, one that was just out of reach, and yet so raw and real at the same time. It had been six months to the day that the Doctor, a time travelling alien from Galifrey, had left. Six months since he decided I’d never see him again. Six months.

The darkness outside reminded me of my own smallness in the universe. As a human, I was one of the most delicate species across the cosmos – and yet the Doctor somehow made me feel bigger than life. When I was with him, I was whole. We’d traveled all over the universe – from dangerous planets to places more beautiful than I could describe. The Tardis became my home. The Doctor became my life.

Flashback

“[Y/N]! Come this way,” the Doctor’s chipper voice rose over the crowd of people around us. I looked up from the tapestry I was admiring and locked eyes with the Doctor. He sported his brown trench coat and modern looking suit, standing out like a sore thumb amongst the busy medieval market. I smiled and made my way to him. He took my hand, the warmth spreading from my fingers right to my heart.

“I’d like to show you something,” he said, gently leading me through the throng of shoppers.

“Is it a famous historical figure?” I asked, jokingly.

“We already met one of those today! I can’t go around having you meet every important figure and confusing the history books,” the Doctor chuckled, looking over at me.

“Honestly, at this point I think we’ve done enough time travel to confuse every history book in the world,” I responded, only half-kidding.

The Doctor shrugged, laughing. His eyes crinkled and I smiled up at him fondly. How I loved him.

“Anyway, [Y/N], I wanted to show you this,” the Doctor helped me climb up a small embankment and pulled me to his side. I was so close to him I could hear his twin hearts beating in tandem.

“Oh my – Doctor this is beautiful!”

Before me was a huge field of wildflowers, surrounding the giant castle overlooking the kingdom. Flowers long gone in my day stood bright and tall in the morning sun. Pink, yellow, and blue hues rippled across the fields as the breeze blew so slightly. The castle, a massive and elegant building, stood solemnly in the distance. It was like a fairytale.

“Isn’t it just lovely?” the Doctor said.

“It looks like a storybook come to life!” I exclaimed. Though I had seen many incredible sights with the Doctor – from other planets to history-changing events, little things like this always made me pause in awe and admiration. The Doctor figured this out and now, every place or time we stopped in, he made a point of pausing with me to admire these views with me.

“A storybook with a beautiful princess,” said the Doctor, giving my shoulder a small squeeze. I blushed, looking away and trying to calm the nerves in my chest. I had to remind myself that no, he was not a human man, but an alien who was extremely old – romance was forbidden. Even then, I couldn’t stop the thundering in my chest.

End Flashback

Turns out people lied

They said, "Just snap your fingers"

As if it was really that easy for me to get over you

I just need time

Click. Click. Click.

I sat, absentmindedly typing away on my laptop. It was quiet in my office today. Most people were working from home, which left me with plenty of in-office tea. Though I enjoyed working at home too, that sometimes seemed to make my mind wander far too much, so I volunteered to come in more often than my colleagues. The job itself was fairly easy – a simple data entry job that consisted of me filling out spreadsheets and attending a meeting here and there.

Mundane.

Boring.

Normal.

I stopped typing for a moment, staring off into the distance. It had been a year since I’d seen the Doctor. My wonderful, incredible Doctor. It’s funny – even though I knew it was a year for me, for the Doctor, he could jump into any part of my life and it would seem like just a second. Time was so confusing now. Was a year really so long?

I went back to typing, hardly noticing what I was doing. I had gotten this job a couple months ago after my parents begged me to try to do something with my life. After the Doctor had dropped me off, I spiraled into a depression. I felt nothing and everything at the same time. It was paralyzing. I wallowed for months, unsure of how to continue. I’d just been traveling through space and time, for goodness’ sake! However, as life began to move on without me, I realized that I couldn’t sit in my flat all day with nothing to show for it. My friends carefully pulled me back out into the wider world again, treating me gently and acting like I’d just experienced the worst break up of my life. In fact, they had met the Doctor a few times. To allay suspicion, he introduced himself as my boyfriend (though that made my heart race just thinking about it) and now that he was no longer coming around, they assumed (rightly so) that we’d broken up. Pretty accurate, I suppose.

“You’ll be able to get over this hump,” said one of my friends on a particularly difficult night for me. “Life is full of mysteries and heartbreak, but I know you - you’re strong. And you have us.”

I was forever grateful to my friends for sticking by my side. It must have been odd – the Doctor had dropped me off during a time that was just a couple of months after he’d shown up in my life, so my friends probably thought I had fallen in too deep with a guy I’d known for a short time, even though to me, I’d known him for years. I smiled wryly. What a mess this was.

“Hey [Y/N]! Did you want to join us after work today for dinner?” one of my coworkers called from across the office, pulling me out of my reverie. “Boss said she’d pay!”

I thought about it for a moment. It had been months since I’d gone out, much less socialized with a large group of people. I suppose I was feeling brave today. I smiled at him. “Sure, why not.”

Trying to re-learn how to live a ‘normal’ human life was hard, but I was trying. Though I missed the Doctor more than life, I knew that my time as his companion was over. One step at a time.

Snapping one, two

Where are you?

You're still in my heart

Flashback

“You look incredible, [Y/N]! I think you’ll definitely fit in,” the Doctor said, nodding in approval. I looked down at the huge, puffy dress, wondering if the Doctor needed his eyes checked. A large, powdered wig perched atop my head like some massive vulture. The Tardis hummed in approval, and I felt even more ridiculous. If the Tardis approved, then I knew I looked positively ludicrous.

“Doctor, I know that this period of time involved this type of – fashion, but you don’t need to lie to me,” I grumbled, trying to keep the wig from toppling to the ground. “You can just tell me I look like an overstuffed cupcake.”

The Doctor laughed. “You’re too much! I’m being serious – I think you look perfect.”

I rolled my eyes. “While I appreciate you, I also refuse to believe you.”

The Doctor chuckled and walked over to me, poking my nose and smiling. “You always look perfect, sweetheart.”

“Stop buttering me up and let’s get a move on,” I said, crossly.

“As you wish,” he said, bowing and holding out his hand as we started towards the Tardis’s exit.

I took his hand, trying to balance the wig and giant dress, while also attempting to be graceful. We managed to get outside – the Tardis had parked in an alleyway in 18th century Paris. I saw ladies in very similar attire as me walking about in the main road, their giant wigs seemingly glued to their heads. I envied how smoothly they walked across the cobblestone streets.

“See, [Y/N]? You look like a French elite,” said the Doctor. “Told you that you look perfect.”

“Well they look lovely, but I – whoa!”

The heel of my shoe caught on a loose area of the cobblestone alley and I went tumbling. The wig, dress, and the many layers of undergarments went flying. The Doctor, caught off guard, came tumbling down next to me. We both hit the ground with a resounding oof.

Panting, I laid there a moment. The wind had been knocked out of me.

“D-Doctor are you o-okay?” I gasped.

I heard some grumbling and movement next to me. “Don’t worry, I’m good, it’s all okay,” he grunted. “I think your dress broke most of my fall, in fact.”

“Oh so now I’m just a pillow for when you fall over?”

“A very nice pillow, yes.”

I laughed, though it came out more as a pained grunt. Pretty sure I landed on my tailbone – that would be sore for a couple days for sure.

“Can you help your pillow up, please? I think I’ll change – era accurate fashion be damned for this trip,” I mumbled.

The Doctor jumped lightly to his feet. Surprising considering how far he’d fallen just moments ago. He held his hand out to me.

“Come on there, let’s get you changed up and then we can explore,” he said cheerily. “And I promise to never make you wear anything quite so… cupcake-like again.” He winked and I groaned.

“You never cease to amaze me,” I said, grabbing his hand and getting on my feet. The wig lay forgotten on the cobblestone street. “It’s like you know exactly how to make me feel better and worse at the same time!”

He smiled, kissing my forehead. “It’s the power of the Doctor!”

I smiled back at him. “A special power indeed.”

End Flashback

Snapping three, four

Don't need you here anymore

Get out of my heart

'Cause I might snap

It was a cold winter day. I was wrapped up like a little present against the cold. My puffy jacket, hat, and scarf were working overtime. My dog, a little corgi, shuffled ahead of me. I held on to her leash, keeping my hands shoved deep in my pockets. My parents had gotten her for me about two years ago, right after my first-year anniversary at my job. I was so excited – she was just the spark of joy I needed.

“Come on, [D/N]! I know you love the snow, but it’s freezing out here,” I said as she stopped to sniff another light post. “Let’s get ourselves home and warm, shall we?”

[D/N] looked up at me and wagged her tail. Though it was cold outside, my heart warmed me fully just looking at her little face.

“Ok, fine, you can sniff a little longer,” I laughed, giving her a little more lead of the leash.

[D/N] started to dig intensely in the snow, her face almost completely covered. I shook my head in amusement. Dogs were so silly sometimes.

“Right, I’m sure there’s something really interesting in there, but I think you should probably stop digging on public land,” I said, giving her leash a little tug.

Suddenly, [D/N] popped out of the snow, a book in her mouth.

“What’s that you have there?” I said, kneeling down and carefully taking it from her. She wagged her tail and smiled at me, proud of her find.

I looked at the cover. The Angel’s Kiss was embossed on the front.

“Huh, The Angel’s Kiss, eh? Looks like one of those weird romance novels,” I joked to [D/N]. “I suppose we can put it on that bench over there. Hopefully someone can find it again.”

“Excuse me! Excuse me I think you might have my book…”

A cheerful voice suddenly rang out in the quiet winter air. I turned around to see a very tall man walking up the path. His hair was brushed over to one side of his face and his bowtie was slightly askew.

“Oh, this romance novel is yours?” I asked, holding it up and fully facing him.

I noticed him do a double take, his face clouding over for a second, before the serene smile returned. “Ha, it’s no romance novel, but yes, it is mine. Well, kind of, I suppose,” said the stranger, reaching out for the book hurriedly. “But I can take it off your hands now.”

I was startled by his sudden reach and the book fell back into the snow. “Oh, what’s the rush? Perhaps it is a spicy romance novel,” I said, half-joking. The man looked at me again for a long moment, before saying quietly, “No it isn’t,” as he leaned down and picked the book up from the snow.

“Thank you very much,” he said, and quickly turned away back up the path.

As I watched him walk away my brow furrowed. He seemed so familiar to me. Though I didn’t remember ever seeing him before, there was something about him… I couldn’t quite put a finger on it.

I looked down at [D/N]. She sat patiently, looking at me. “Well, I suppose my imagination can get out of hand sometimes, can’t it?” I said. “Come on, little one, let’s go.”

As I turned away, back towards my flat, I heard a woman’s voice cry out “Doctor! Where have you been?”

The Doctor? No, surely not here, not now…

I whirled around. The man I’d just been speaking to was standing with two others now, a little farther down the path. A woman with red hair and a brown-haired man. The woman was tugging at the book I’d just handed back to him. Perhaps I’d misheard, maybe it was a mistake…

“Doctor, what’s wrong? It looks like you’ve just seen a ghost,” said the woman.

No, I hadn’t misheard. The familiarity, the odd comfort – it was the Doctor. Indeed, it wasn’t my Doctor, at least not as knew him, but it was still the Doctor. A rush of emotions hit me. I felt anger, sadness, pain, and hope all at the same time. Had he forgotten me? He didn’t seem to recognize me at all. And he had two new companions? When he’d left me, he swore he’d never take another person with him again – what was this hypocrisy? Was I not good enough?

I felt my legs begin to move without me. I wanted to sprint to him, to demand answers, to figure out what was going on. Why did he look so different? Why did he act like he didn’t know me – was this another one of his kind? No, he said there were no Time Lords left. My brain was spinning. Four years. Four years. And he chose to show up now. Right as I was starting to feel whole again.

“Doc –“ I began, but then, as though on cue, a massive gust of wind suddenly stirred up, causing the snow to dance into the sky and obscure my vision. I covered my eyes and quickly grabbed onto [D/N] to ensure she didn’t get lost in the gust.

The snow settled and there was no sign of the three figures. Still holding [D/N], I ran over to where they had been, hoping against hope I’d see one of them or the Tardis hidden amongst the bushes. Nothing. I blinked back tears, feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness and heaviness descend on my chest. I’d always wanted to see the Doctor again, but this felt wrong. He had new companions. He didn’t acknowledge me. He even looked completely different. The bubbling of emotions in my chest suddenly ripped through and I wailed in anguish. This feeling felt as fresh as the day he left me.

I'm writing a song

Said, "This is the last one"

How many last songs are left?

I'm losing count

Flashback

I was shaking with fear. The Doctor stood in front of me, his arms spread to protect me. I could see his body quivering just a bit, but his voice held steady as he tried to reason with the Daleks in front of us.

“You don’t want to do this,” he said. “She is innocent – “

“Exterminate.” Said the robotic voices, ignoring him.

“D-Doctor please, you need to g-go and save the others,” I whispered. “I can’t move and there are others who need you right now – please.”

“Don’t speak, [Y/N],” he commanded. I could hear the fire in his voice. “I will protect you.”

The Daleks had their blasters pointed at us, slowly closing in. I felt sick. This was all my fault. I had accompanied the Doctor on this mission to rescue some space travelers who had been captured by the Daleks. The Doctor tried to make me stay in the Tardis, but I insisted. Instead, all I’d done was gotten hurt and now the Doctor couldn’t continue with the rescue mission. I tried to stand but hissed in pain. A large gash on my leg prevented me from being able to move comfortably.

“Don’t move, [Y/N], I don’t need you to be more hurt than you already are,” said the Doctor, his voice stern. Almost angry, I thought.

I looked around wildly, wondering if somehow, I could help distract these beasts. We were pressed up against a wall, cornered. I felt the wall behind me. It was smooth metal. Hardly anything – wait! My hand hit a large bolt. It felt loose. I carefully began to untwist it, hoping to not draw attention to myself as the Doctor continued to speak to the Daleks.

Buy me a few more seconds, Doctor, I thought.

Bingo! The bolt came off in my hand. Summoning all my courage and strength, I chucked it hard at the Dalek closest to me. It hit the dome of the robotic and it short-circuited. The other Daleks were momentarily distracted, so I grabbed the Doctor’s hand and pushed myself to move as quickly as I could despite the searing pain in my leg.

“[Y/N]!” the Doctor yelped, surprised. “You’re brilliant.”

“I try to be,” I panted, concentrating on not falling as we made our escape. The Doctor grabbed me by the waist and half-dragged, half-carried me through the Dalek ship.

“Listen to me, [Y/N], I am going to get you back to the Tardis. Do you understand?” he said as we made our way back to the Time Lord’s ship. I nodded, weakly. On a normal day I’d protest, but with my leg and the mess I’d already caused, I accepted his judgement quickly.

We made it back to the Tardis in one piece. The Doctor quickly got me inside and sat me down against a wall. He then typed something into the ship’s main interface.

“Protective force field,” he said, without looking up.

After he was done, he quickly came over to me. He gently grabbed my chin, raising my eyes to meet his. “Listen to me, [Y/N],” he began, his voice the most serious I’d ever heard. “You need to stay here, you need to stay safe, and you will not leave the Tardis. Do you understand me?” I nodded; eyes wide. The Doctor was rarely this serious.

“Good.”

And with that, he left me there. The Tardis hummed nervously, and I did my best to patch my leg up as best I could. I hated sitting around while he was in danger, but I knew in this case I’d be nothing more than in the way.

It felt like ages, sitting in an empty Tardis, anxiously hoping the Doctor was going to come back to me in one piece. My mind started to race. What if the Doctor came back injured? I’d never treated him for any wounds before – would I know how to? What if…he didn’t come back? I’d only operated the Tardis a handful of times and wasn’t sure if I’d be able to escape. I pushed that dark thought out of my mind. He was the Doctor! Of course, he’d come back.

“Run!”

I jumped as the Tardis doors swung open and the Doctor plus four spacemen came tumbling inside. The Doctor was furiously scrambling to the controls, shouting commands, and telling everyone to hold on. The chaos outside the Tardis swiftly disappeared as the ship started to whirl and we were off.

The breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding was let out. The four spacemen huddled together, looking forlorn. I remembered the Doctor saying there had been eight.

“[Y/N], are you ok?” the Doctor was by my side, arm wrapped around my shoulders. “I’m so sorry you got hurt like this and I had to leave you. So sorry.”

He looked at my leg, which was still seeping blood from under the bandage I hastily wrapped around it. I smiled wryly at him. “Just a scratch.”

He shook his head and did not smile. I saw him gently touch my leg, though at this point the adrenaline that had been coursing through my veins was beginning to wane. The Tardis was getting darker and I felt my head start to fall to the side,

“[Y/N]? Hey! Stay awake, [Y/N]! Stay with me. Please, stay with me!”

I could hear the Doctor’s panicked voice but could not muster the strength to open my eyes again. I fell into a cloud of darkness, the world fading away.

***

I woke with a start. Disoriented, I looked around the room I was in, vision blurry. My mouth felt so dry, and my head was pounding.

“[Y/N]? [Y/N]! You’re awake, good god, you’re awake,” the Doctor’s voice burst through the haziness and once again he was by my side. “Sit up slowly now, you’ve been asleep for a while.”

“Sleep? What?” I mumbled, still trying to get my bearings. “Where am I? What’s going on?”

“We’re in the Tardis,” he said. “Your body has been recovering from that wound on your leg.”

I blinked a couple of times to get the Doctor into focus. His eyes were lined with worry and his hair was more tousled than usual. He looked haggard.

“You look terrible,” I murmured. The Doctor shook his head, giving me a weak smile as he handed me a glass of water.

“Happy to see you too,” he said quietly.

As I drank the water, the Doctor studied me intensely. His gaze burned my skin and I shifted uncomfortably under this scrutiny.

“Doctor?” I began with uncertainty. “What’s wrong?”

The Doctor looked away, running a hand through his hair. He seemed to be steeling his nerves. Was he going to berate me for how I caused a massive problem on the Dalek ship?

Suddenly he snapped his head back to me and smiled widely. “Nothing, nothing at all, [Y/N]. Just glad you’re feeling better. Your leg wound should be all healed up after I cleaned and treated it. Since we’re parked near your flat, I figured you could get some rest in your own room once you finish your water.”

Confused, I stared at him. Just moments ago he was incredibly somber and now he was acting as though nothing was wrong. I continued to sip my water, brow furrowed as I studied the Doctor. There was something up with him, but I decided not to press it for now.

About a half hour later, the Doctor asked me if I could stand. I did so, carefully, noticing that my leg didn’t pain me any longer, but I still favored it. I was definitely sore.

“So, how does the leg feel?” asked the Doctor. “Up to take a little walk?”

I groaned as I stretched. “Fine, a little walk. After I get some things from my flat I want you to take me to the nicest alien spa there is in the universe.”

The Doctor made a noncommittal noise and simply turned his back to me. “Come on, [Y/N], let’s go.”

He guided me out of the Tardis. We walked a short way to the entrance of my flat. The Doctor got us in using his sonic screwdriver as I’d left my keys in the kitchen. As we entered the flat, I could tell there was some energy in the air that I could not quite put my finger on. There was something the Doctor wasn’t telling me.

“Doctor,” I said, suddenly turning around and staring at him straight in the eye. “What are we doing? What’s going on?”

The Doctor avoided my gaze. “Can we please sit down in the living room to talk, [Y/N]?”

I frowned but obliged. As we sat down together, his hand resting gently on my knee, the Doctor looked me straight in the eyes and said, “[Y/N] you need to stay here now. This last trip I almost lost you, and I can’t lose another person.”

The words seemed to echo in the empty flat, bouncing off the walls and assaulting my ears.

“Sorry, did you say stay here? As in, you’ll leave and not come back for me?” I asked, trying to understand what he was telling me.

The Doctor looked down. I felt his hand squeeze my knee slightly.

“Yes. I promised myself that if one of my companions ever got hurt, or was close to getting terribly injured, I would never, ever, lead them to danger again,” he said. “And you, [Y/N], are the most important person in my life. Seeing you almost – seeing you pass out in my eyes I just – “

The Doctor’s voice hitched. Instinctively, you reached out to comfort him, but he stopped your hand, gently lowering it back down away from him. “I refuse to be the reason you get hurt. I do not deserve to have a companion. You will be my last, [Y/N]. I hope you know how special you are to me”

“N-no, don’t say this. You haven’t even asked me if this is what I want,” I choked out, tears welling in my eyes. “When we first met you said that we’d go everywhere together. You can’t just throw me away like trash.”

The Doctor shook his head vehemently. “You are a treasure, [Y/N]. A treasure worth protecting. A treasure worth keeping far away to protect.”

“Doctor no, I’m not delicate, I can help you – “

The Doctor stood up suddenly. He didn’t look at me in the eyes as he said, “Goodbye, [Y/N]. Please stay safe. And don’t wait for me.”

I grabbed for his hand, but he brushed it aside as he marched out toward the door of my flat.

“Stop! Doctor! DOCTOR!” I shouted, going after him. He paused for a moment in the entrance of my flat, and I hoped against hope he would stop. He turned to face me, a pained expression on his face. His mouth formed the words:

“I love you.”

And he was gone.

Since June twenty-second

My heart's been on fire

I've been spending my nights in the rain-

Tryna put it out

“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday, dear [Y/N], happy birthday to you!”

I smiled, surrounded by my friends and family as they sang to me. My birthday hat sat askew atop my head and a modest cake sat in front of me, the birthday candles glowing.

“Go on, blow them out and make a wish,” said my mum.

I thought for a moment, then blew out the candles. Ten years older. How time flies.

“Well are you going to tell us what you wished for?” one of my friends asked, grinning.

Chuckling, I said what I repeated every year, “But then it wouldn’t be a real wish, would it?” My wish was silly – childish even, but I wished to see the Doctor one more time every year. At this point, it was a tradition I had to keep. The only soul who knew was [D/N] because she never judged.

My friends and family shared the evening together, laughing, joking, and enjoying each other’s company. I endured the usual teasing of ‘when are you going to get a man? You can’t just work forever!’ and my mum and dad joking (with a hint of truth) about how [D/N] would be their only grand-pup. I was used to it by now and it didn’t bother me anymore. Yes, I threw myself into my career. It paid off as I was doing quite well for myself. Unfortunately, my job didn’t really give me a lot of time for dates, but I did try. It just seemed I was very unlucky in the dating scene. Nothing ever worked out. They all simply didn’t fill a void that seemed to constantly be in my heart.

“You know, [Y/N], I have a new coworker who is super cute. I bet you guys would get along,” said one of my friends, whipping out her phone and showing me a picture. “Look he’s just your type!”

I laughed. “Oh come on, you know I don’t have time right now! Besides, [D/N] and I are doing just fine, the two of us. She’s my best partner!”

As the party started to wind down and people began to leave, I gave let everyone give one last pat to [D/N] on their way out. Her little tail still wagged furiously, though not as energetically when she was a pup. The grey around her muzzle was beginning to show more prominently, and I made sure to give her extra attention on days like today.

“Hey girl, don’t think I forgot about your birthday treat,” I said once we were alone. I went the pantry and pulled out a little cake-shaped dog treat. [D/N] snagged it happily and curled up in dog bed, happy to gnaw on the treat.

I smiled.

“I’ll be right back,” I said to her. “Enjoy!”

After tossing a few more things in my trash can, I tied up the full trash bag and I headed out of my flat. It was quiet outside. Peaceful. The summer bugs sang an evening song as I walked towards the trash receptacles in back of the complex. Street lamps illuminated my path. A man passed by me, his face obscured by the darkness.

“Good evening,” said the man.

“Evening,” I said back, without much thought.

“Headed anywhere special?” he asked.

Annoyed, I responded, “Yes, the trash. Isn’t that obvious from the trash bag in my hand?”

The man laughed. “You never change, [Y/N].”

“Sorry, do I know y –”

My breath caught in my throat and the trash bag dropped from my hands. The man stood under a street light, revealing his face to me.

“Doctor!” I exclaimed. I wanted to run to him, but I felt cemented to the spot. I was shocked. It was my Doctor, not the version I’d seen so many years ago. He looked almost identical to what I remembered, except that he was sporting a different color suit and looked a touch older.

“I – you, what are you doing here?” I fumbled over my words, not knowing what to say or how to feel.

“I need you, [Y/N]. One last adventure for us to share,” he said. “I’ll understand if you say ‘no’, of course, but I –”

I didn’t let the Doctor finish. I sprinted to him and wrapped my arms tightly around him. His familiar scent and warm embrace filling the empty space in my heart.

I heard him laugh, the wonderful sound giving me life. “I’ll take this as a yes.”

The familiar sound of the Tardis filled my ears and the Doctor, my Doctor, pulled me to his side once again.

“Allons-y!”

So I'm snapping one, two

Where are you?

You're still in my heart