#12 hours ago he was waking us up and demanding we pet him
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#for those of you following along it has been about 8 hours since the boy passed#very peaceful and high as a kite#my sibling held him on their lap the whole time#it was heartbreaking and we will miss him forever#it hurts so much and after 8 hours its still like a gushing stab wound#plus the whole apartment is still full is cat stuff but we dont want to put it away too quickly because we dont want to forget#even though we KNOW we WONT forget anything#but we owe it to him to let the apartment still be His for a bit#all we're going to do is box up a little bit of it and put it in the closet until she gets her next cat#but its only been 8 hours and its hard to move on that quickly#12 hours ago he was waking us up and demanding we pet him#rest in peace brody you were an excellent cat and i loved you very much and i will keep loving you until the end of time#punny speaks#tw death mention
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Valentines Day
TW: Obsessive behaviour, mentioning of stealing and slight homophobia, proceed with caution!
"Taehyung sweetie, wake up.~"
I groan and turn in my sheets, slowly regaining consciousness. "I've prepared you breakfast. Get dressed and come downstairs." The clacking of my mother's heels echoed through the hall as she went away. Groggily I sit up and stretch. I push my bangs out of my eyes I stare towards the window to my left. The sun shines through the thin curtains casting an orange light on my bedroom wall. I yawn and stand up, pulling the curtains aside and flooding the room with light. I take a moment to look outside, admiring our beautiful garden before remembering what day it is. Today is Valentines day! My God/Goddess asked me to meet up with them. Oh, spending Valentines with my saviour is the best thing to have ever happened to me!
I rush to pick out a white dress shirt, a khaki sweater vest with a black pair of slacks. After also brushing through my hair to untangle any knots I opened my secret Y/n shrine. The picture of their smiling face makes my heart pound so fast. They are otherworldly, absolutely ethereal! I take out a shirt of theirs which I borrowed a while ago. If I close my eyes it still smells like them, it's addictive.
Just to make sure that no items were robbed from their place I go through all items once again. Five chewed on pencils, a small box of empty wrappers, my 20 most favourite photos of them, the candle they accidentally bit into because they thought it was edible, the borrowed shirt, a pair of their underwear, a bunch of pins and hair ties they touched, the bundle of 36 hair strands I managed to collect (I only collect the hairs that have fallen out, I would never dare to cut or rip out my God's/Goddess' hair) and my water bottle which they drank out of (I had to buy a new one to keep this in my shrine but it was so worth it). All my items were there.
Suddenly I hear clacking and a small thud. I turn around in confusion, what just happened? But then I hear Yeontan's bark from the other side of the door. He ran against the door again. I can't help but laugh as I go to open the door for him. He jumps up a bit so I kneel down to pet him. "I'm meeting up with Y/n today, isn't that exciting!" Yeontan immediately started yapping, he loved my God/Goddess almost as much as I do. It's really incredible what an effect Y/n has on everyone, they all seem to love them. Well, then again that is expected to be the case considering Y/n is such a godly being.
"Taehyung!" "I'm coming!" My mother called me again. "Come on, boy." I hurry downstairs with Yeontan following me. "Good morning, Ma. Good morning, Pa." My father nodded at me while my mother beckoned me to sit down and eat. While I finish my breakfast my mother was talking about a lot of stuff. "Have you heard, they're trying to make gay marriage legal here. That is complete nonsense! God created a man and a woman for a reason." I have no clue what my mother was raging about. I concluded that she's probably just misinformed, Y/n said that being part of the lgbtq community is completely natural and alright. I know they know better than anyone else. "What's so bad about it, Ma?" My mother looked at me with horror. "They can't help who they're attracted to. It's all natural, isn't it?" My mother shook her head. "No!" She exclaimed, "Being gay or trans or something is inherently selfish! Gays are selfish! Men and women were created by God to conceive a child and stop the human kind from getting extinct. Trans are selfish! God gave you a body and you chose to change it in it's entirety! Such behaviour is unacceptable." "But I thought God loves everyo-" "Where have you even gotten that idea? Maybe you should go back to homeschooling. Clearly these other kids are having a bad influence on you." I look over to my father who just continues reading the newspaper. I respect my mother but she clearly isn't ready yet for the wisdom Y/n has bestowed upon me. Not everyone is as lucky as I am. "Look at the time we'll have to go now." Right, it was Sunday which means we're going to church. I always like going there, the windows astound me everytime. And the pastor is always so welcoming and friendly. I vividly remember asking him about the lgbtq community after Y/n had told me about them. He said that God loves everyone regardless of their sexuality or gender identity. He truly is a wise man.
As soon as we returned my father got a call from a business partner. They said they'd have to go now and want me to take Yeontan with me to my meet up. While I was a bit saddened that I couldn't be alone with my God/Goddess I decided it wouldn't be a problem.
Yeontan excitedly trots besides me as I make my way to the place where my saviour and I would meet up. I debated getting them a bouquet of red roses for Valentines day, but figured that the 20 letters, 12 stuffed animals and 18 bouquets I gave them during the past week would be enough, for now. As I make my way there I couldn't conceal the excitement I felt. Getting the chance to spend time with my Master/Mistress was something I believed I'd only ever dream about. The euphoria I feel from the mere thought of getting to see them today is dizzying.
Suddenly Yeontan starts barking and storms off. He never leaves my side, that's why he's not kept on a leash. To see him run away from me like that was surprising at best. But then I notice the reason for his behaviour. The puppy ran towards Y/n who was waiting for me a few metres away. How could I have just ignored my saviour like that! What I did was unacceptable. I would punish myself, but it would likely ruin Y/n's day, I can't let that happen. So I run after Yeontan, towards my God/Goddess.
"Good morning, Y/n! I'm sorry about him." I look down at Yeontan who's still getting pet by Y/n. He better cherish that they're even looking at him. It's bad enough that he practically demanded pats from them. So disrespectful. "No worries. He's so adorable!" At least Y/n seemed to enjoy his behaviour. I doubt it would work if I behaved that way towards them, but that's for another day to find out. "I dearly hope you didn't have to wait too long." They smile up at me. Oh, their smile is to die for. So incredibly perfect! I feel my knees getting weak. "Don't worry about it. I just arrived too." Yeontan started barking again and was noe excitedly jumping around, making Y/n laugh. "Awe! Yeontan is so adorable. I didn't know you'd take him with you." "It was unexpected for me as well." They stand up and take my hand. My heart is beating so fast, I feel as if I'm about to explode. It's getting harder to breathe. "Let's go now!" We start walking along the path with Yeontan rushing after us.
We sat outside a small café and each ordered our desired dessert. "Have you ever been on a date?" That question caught me off guard. "Oh, no. I haven't." I believe that much was quite obvious, but perhaps I was mistaken. They look surprised, shocked almost. "Really? How come? Aren't you getting asked out left and right?" "I suppose I just never had interest in anyone. I barely know those who ask me out. They're all so shallow to confess without knowing anything about me." Just then the waiter returned with our desserts. We thank him before we start eating.
Both of us watch as Yeontan is running around and playing in the snow. I look over to see Y/n smile at him, leading me to also smile. I adore their smile. Everything about them is so perfect. I could stare at them for hours and never get bored. Each detail is something new, something beautiful to discover. Unable to take y eyes off them I-
"Excuse me." Who dares interrupt my special time with my God/Goddess?! Two girls stood next our table. One almost cowering behind the other and mumbling something along the lines of, "Oh my god, no. Jess, don't." But I really couldn't care less. "My friend thinks you're really cute and was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with her." So annoying. I eye them down and make one thing clear. "I'm not interested." The girl cowering behind the other looked disappointed, perhaps ashamed. Good. She should be. After they interrupted my date with the Y/n they can go burn for all I care. "Have a good day." After the girls back away with the other girl exclaiming, "What a jerk!" I turn my attention back to Y/n. "Uhm, wasn't that a bit harsh?" They looked unsure. "Was it? I thought it was reasonable. Better to tell the truth than lead them on, am I correct?" They took another bite of their dessert. "I guess you're right."
We had a grand time strolling through the park, even having a snowball fight. They won. Obviously I could not compete with my God/Goddess, no one could ever. Yeontan was also very entertained as he kept trying to catch the snowballs as they flew over his head. Soon the sun began setting. It was incredible how fast the time flew by. Both our clothes were slightly damp due to the snow. I didn't think much about it untill Y/n began shivering. No no no no! My saviour could get sick, or die! I couldn't let that happen. I take off my jacket and gently place it over their shoulders. "But, won't you be cold?" I give them a reassured smile. "Don't worry about me, my God/Goddess. If I may, I'd love to accompany on your way home." They let out a bashful chuckle, making me melt. I feel my entire body heating up from that gorgeous chuckle. Their power over me is simply astounding.
All the way home I keep my arm atound them in hopes of providing some form of warmth for them. I cannot bear knowing that they're freezing. Never would I be able to forgive myself if they'd catch a cold. Yeontan was also slowly getting tired, which was by bo means a surprise considering how he played and jumped around all day. "Thank you for bring me home, Taehyung." Hearing them say my name makes my entire body tingle and flutter. "You do not have to thank me, Y/n. It was an honour!" Whatever I expected, it was not feeling their lips against mine. My mind went blank and I could barely stand. I felt dizzy, yet so so good! They gave me my jacket back after the short peck and laughed. "Goodnight!" Then they went inside and closed the door. I stood there for a moment, shocked at what had happened yet freling absolute bliss. After a minute or so I manage to finally pull myself together. I put on my jacket, it smells like them! And then I picked Yeontan up and walked home.
Oh, this day was the best I've ever had!
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Caught In Between 12. The Necklace
Summary: Athena Dumont has finally found a place to call home after many years of foster homes and traveling. She had finally tamed her supernatural side and just wanted to live a normal teenage life. She quickly discovers that there is nothing normal about her hometown, Mystic Falls and gets sucked right back into the supernatural world.
Post Date: 07.14.20
Word count: 1.6k
Based off: 03x04 “Disturbing Behavior”
Masterlist
After Rebekah had seemingly looked everywhere for her necklace and for it to be found nowhere. We all head back to the condo that Klaus had rented out. The next morning I’m woken up by Klaus.
“Morning, love,” Klaus says sitting on my bed as I roll over groggily.
“What are you doing in my bed?!” I ask jumping up.
“Relax. Rebekah wants to go shopping for some era-appropriate clothing,” Klaus says still sitting on my bed.
“Is there ever any day where I don’t have to follow you around?” I ask sitting up.
“Are you still keeping that promise?” Klaus asks.
“Ugh,” I get up and start to rustle through my clothes in the dresser. “Ummm… could I have a bit of privacy?” I ask annoyed.
“I mean its nothing I haven’t seen already, love. But sure. We’re leaving in 10,” Klaus explains before heading out of my room.
After I finish getting ready we head out into the city. We spend the next few hours looking around some shops but clearly at nothing Rebekah liked. One of the last shops we visited was clearly out of my league considering they were serving champagne.
“There has to be more to this dress,” Rebekah says from the dressing room.
“There’s not,” Klaus responds.
“So women in the 21st-century dress like prostitutes, then. You know I got dirty looks for wearing trousers,” Rebakah states.
“You wore trousers so women toady could wear nothing,” Klaus says.
“Klaus. Rebekah, you look amazing,” I compliment her.
“And what is this music? It sounds like a cable car accident.” Rebekah disregards your compliment.
“It’s dance music,” Stefan explains.
“You would dance to this?” She asks Stefan.
“Are we done?” Klaus asks his sister clearly impatient.
“And why are you so grumpy?” Rebekah asks making her way over to him.
“Because you’re taking up all of his precious time,” I state.
“I needed one thing from you for my witch to find out why my hybrids are dying, one thing. You’re necklace and you lost it.” Klaus explains.
“I didn’t lose it. It’s just been missing for 90 years. So what do you think?” She asks making a small twirl.
“I like it,” Stefan responds and only gets an annoyed look from Rebekah. “What? I said I like it.” Stefan restates.
“I can always tell when you’re lying, Stefan,” Rebekah states walking back into the dressing room. Stefan looks at Klaus and I confused.
“Nice one, good work,” Klaus says clearly annoyed that this trip is gonna take longer.
“You’re the one that pulled the dagger out of her,” Stefan states as Rebekah states that she heard him.
“Well, I for one. Am grateful another woman will be here. I’m sick of all the testosterone,” I point out my opinion.
“All right. I’m going to get some fresh air,” Stefan says standing up.
You and Klaus sit in silence for a while until Rebekah comes out in another dress, “Ok, that one is cute,” I tell her.
“I am kind of feeling this one,” She responds. We wait a bit longer as Rebekah continues to try dresses on. She clearly didn’t find anything she liked so we made our way to another store, where she found some clothes she’d wear. We all, except Stefan, who seemingly disappeared, made our way back to Gloria’s bar.
Klaus has Gloria try to do a tacking spell on Rebekah’s necklace. It takes a few minutes, Klaus continues to drink waiting for it to come up. Stefan finally makes his way back to the bar.
“You left us,” Rebekah states sitting atop the bar.
“Yeah sorry. Retail therapy was making my head explode,” Stefan responds.
“Tell me about it,” Klaus responds annoyed.
“What’s she doing?” Stefan asks looking at Gloria.
“She’s failing,” Klaus states as I shoot a look over to Klaus.
“It’s hard to find something when you don’t have anything to go on,” Gloria states.
“So use me. I only wore it for a thousand years,” Rebekah offers getting off the counter.
“See now this one offers a solution. Alright, give me your hand sweetheart.” Gloria says as Rebekah makes her way over.
“She’s, uh, she’s looking for the necklace, huh?” Stefan asks as I notice the slight shift in his voice a bit.
After a few moments of Gloria holding Rebekah’s hand, she reveals that she feels something. She starts to chant as we wait for more information. “I found it,” She reveals.
“So where is it?” Rebekah asks.
“It doesn’t work like that, doll. I get images. There’s a girl with her friends,” Gloria starts to explain.
“Yes, a dead girl with dead friends, If I don’t get my necklace back,” Rebekah says getting restless.
“Well, I’ll have to dive back in to get the details,” Gloria explains.
“So dive,” Klaus demands.
“I need more time,” Gloria states. “And space. You’re harshing my ju-ju” She says as Klaus makes his way to her.
“We can wait,”
“I’m sure you can. But that’s not what I asked.” Gloria states.
“Hey. Hey, you know, why don’t we come back later. I’m hungry anyway. I’ll let you pick who we eat.” Stefan suggests, trying to break the tension. With no audible words, we all head out of the bar.
We head back to the warehouse, “Stay here, love. We’ll be right back,” Klaus says.
“It’s not like I can go anywhere,” I say sitting down on a table. I spend the few hours they were gone looking around at what else there was stored. I tried to get to the coffins, maybe wake Elijah up but unfortunately, Klaus was smart enough to leave some of his minions.
The three vampires make their way back with three girls in tow. I find a spot in the warehouse away from them, not really wanting to be around them. But Klaus seemingly didn’t want me out of his sight, so he kept me in sight.
“My girl’s dead. I’m bored.” Rebekah states sitting atop a box.
“You weren’t kidding about being hungry,” Klaus states pulling away from his girl.
“Yeah. It’s been a long day,” Stefan responds.
“Try being related to her,” Klaus says back.
“You’re being mean. And why are you being mean? You used to love me.” Rebekah asks.
“It’s been 90 years, Rebekah. Give him a minute,” Klaus defends.
“Why are you taking his side?” Rebekah asks clearly getting upset.
“Because, dear sister, I feel pity for any man who doesn’t give you what you want.” Klaus states.
“Will you stop making me out to be a brat? I am not a brat!” Rebekah says upset.
“A thousand years of life says otherwise,” Klaus says dismissively.
“Well, I for one take pity on you for having to deal with him,” I say making my way over and gesturing to Klaus.
“Thank you!” Rebekah says laughing.
“I need to go,” Stefan says tossing the body to the side and getting up.
“Where’s he going?” Rebekah asks.
“To write a name on a wall. It’s a long story,” Klaus replies.
“Anyways, if you’re still hungry. You can feed on me,” I offer my wrist to Rebekah.
“No, absolutely not,” Klaus states.
“Just don’t kill me,” I tell her dismissing Klaus as she sinks her fangs into me. She feeds for a few minutes before lifting her mouth from my wrist and wiping her mouth.
“So, I’m curious where did Nik pick you up from? And an odd question but, why are you still alive?” Rebekah asks me.
“Athena--” Klaus starts.
“Ah,” I stop him. “I like to classify myself as his little pet.” I flash my amber eyes at her as she looks at me a little shocked. “But. I’m also keeping a promise to your other brother, Elijah,” I state as she looks at me a bit confused.
“Athena is a Dumont wolf, one of the last as far as I know. Unless you’re holding something back.” Klaus says looking over to me.
“Which makes me his little pet. And how would I know if there were any of my family left after being fostered?” I ask upset, but Klaus just shrugs at me.
“Ok. If I’m not mistaken. There’s something you guys aren’t telling me,” Rebekah states clearly picking up on the tension.
“There’s noth--” I start.
“Athena and I may have been involved with each other a few years ago,” Klaus states making almost googly eyes at me.
“I’m keeping a promise to Elijah. I’m keeping a promise to Elijah.” I whisper under my breath as I get up to find somewhere else to be. After a few hours, Klaus goes to check on Gloria. I spend time just playing games on my phone.
Klaus finally walks back into the warehouse, “Gloria’s gone. She’s cleared out. We need to find a new witch immediately. What’s going on?” Klaus announces making his way into the warehouse. I make my way over to the group not wanting to be left out of the details.
“Something’s wrong. He was asking about Michael. He’s not with us Nik. I can see it. Which makes me question you, Athena.” Rebekah explains.
“There’s no reason to doubt Athena’s loyalty. I know it. But you, Stefan. On the other hand,” Klaus says.
“She’s wrong,” Stefan defends himself. “Klaus…” Stefan asks before Klaus rushes him snapping his neck.
“Klaus,” I say but he just shoots me a look.
“We’re leaving,” Klaus says picking up Stefan’s limp body.
“Where are we going?” I ask as we make our way to the moving truck parked outside.
“Home,” He responds, referring to Mystic Falls, setting Stefan’s body down and telling his minions to move the coffins.
A/N: So clearly I was able to finish this part haha. But honestly, this was just a filler and boring tbh. I’m sorry if this part is bad, i really didn’t know what I was doing with it. I also had nooooo clue what to title this. Anyways. Thanks for reading!
Taglist: @tristanacarry | @commentaryfanfic | @april-14-blog | @simonsbluee
#the vampire diaries#the vampire diaries imagine#the vampire diaries rewrite#the vampire diaries series#the vampire diaries x reader#the originals#the originals imagine#the originals rewrite#the originals series#niklaus mikaelson#niklaus mikaelson x reader#Stefan Salvatore#rebekah mikaelson#klaus mikaelson x reader#TVDCIB
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Family
The night was angry, rain punished the earth, and lightning cracked the sky again and again. Trigon was gone. The king of demons was trapped in his own little corner of reality. Still that didn’t stop him from making an occasional appearance in his daughter’s dreams. It was 4:00 am when Raven had jumped out of her skin. A summer storm shook the windows and rattled on the roof above. Raven looked down her body to see a pair of sleepy annoyed green eyes.
She jerked her leg in waking up. Sweet Potato yawned then went back to using Raven's left ankle as a pillow. The small orange cat was asleep in moments. It was about 6 years ago when the cat adopted them.
~
"Rae!" Beast Boy shouted, "The landlord didn’t mention this!"
Raven came out to the balcony of their new apartment. To find her fiancé sitting on the cement floor an orange kitten in his lap. He looked up at her. "Free cat!" he said with a smile almost too big for his face.
"Garfield, where did that come from?" She asked as she started messaging one of her temples.
"Well Rae, when a Mama cat and a Daddy cat love each other ver-"
"You know what I mean!" Raven snapped. It had been a long day already. The furniture they had ordered hadn’t shown up. Their living room was just a mountain of boxes. She was hungry, tired, sweaty, and just knew the boxes with her clean clothes were probably buried under all their other belongings.
Beast Boy got up cradling the cat in his arms. The animal barely reacted like all of this happened every day. Before she knew it, he had closed the distance between them, and she was holding a purring orange ball of fluff. The cat started rubbing his head against her chin, his motor running on overdrive.
"Gar," Her hands of their own volition started petting the cat. "We really can’t have a pet right now. WE! don't even have a place to sleep tonight." The cat was doing its best to charm her "Besides I already have you. "
"Ha. Ha." He said as his hands joined hers in the cat’s fur. "Well don’t think of him as a pet, he can be our training kid!" That remark was enough to bring Raven to her senses and she pushed the cat back into Beast Boy's arms.
"OH No!" she said sternly "He can stay tonight but is going to a shelter in the morning! We don't need a training kid, we are renting an apartment together, we are engaged, do not get ahead of yourself!" Raven stormed back inside to rip apart boxes.
That was six years ago, and the cat later named Sweet Potato for his color had decided to become Raven's near constant companion. Whatever room Raven went in, a small orange puffball followed. The cat didn’t demand attention often, he was content to take up watch from the bookshelves as Raven meditated, or to supervise her from the top of the fridge when she made her tea. Despite being able to sleep just about anywhere most nights he preferred the small valley between Raven's feet.
Despite the cat's comfort, Raven started to get up to check on the baby. She stopped when she realized that the little one was closer than she thought. Four-month-old Luke was asleep on her husband's chest. The little boy was quite content with Garfield's hand on his back holding him protectively. Luke was facing her, his face scrunched up in sleep. He was wearing that blue onesie that said, “I am a baby not an Engineer” That his father put him in at almost every chance he got.
~
"Raven he is beautiful" That’s the first words he heard as the medication started to wear off. Garfield was sitting in a chair next to her hospital bed. He held a blanketed bundle to his chest.
It was over a full month before Raven was due. The last thing she was expecting was her little boy to show up that night. Beast Boy knew it would be months before they could have some time to themselves, so he surprised her with a night on the town.
It was a pleasant evening in early November. The air was just starting to chill giving her husband another reason to hold her close as they walked down the street. They had gotten a table at a nice café in town and just when the soup arrived Raven's contractions started. The next thing they knew plates were flying with black energy and she was loaded into an ambulance.
"Are you alright?" Raven asked from her hospital bed.
"I am not the one that had the emergency C-Section, how are you?" Beast Boy took Raven's hand.
“I am wonderful, but that might just be the painkillers." She craned her neck to look at the small face hidden between blankets and her husband's chest. “Luke Logan" she said.
"He looks just like you Rae."
Raven didn’t see it. Luke had his father’s green skin and pointed ears; his head had whips of fine hair that looked almost black. Just like their daughter Luke had gotten his fathers more prominent features.
“He must take after you though, showing up 5 weeks early.”
"He is amazing Rae. I can't believe that we get to keep him." Beast Boy stood up bringing the baby closer to Raven. "I can't stop looking at him."
"You were the same way with Leia, Gar have you slept?" She asked gingerly sitting up. The sun was a shade of orange coming through the windows. It had to be just past dawn. Raven really didn’t have to ask. Her husband's eyes were red and had some bags under them. The button-down shirt he was wearing for their date was an untucked wrinkled mess, and his hair was all over the place.
"I couldn’t, I mean every noise he made I kept checking on him. " The baby started to fuss a bit. "Here is Mama." Beast Boy laid their son into his mother's arms. "You going to be good for visitors? Robin said he can't really hold back both Star and Leia for much longer. "
Thunder clashed and the little girl stirred. Leia had climbed into their bed again. She lay on her side between her mother and father holding onto Raven's leg like a teddy bear. She was in her white feety pajamas with the green monkeys on them. Raven ran her fingers through her daughter’s dark hair. Just her brother Leia's skin was green like her father’s, but her hair was like her mothers. Raven knew that her daughter was a bit jealous of her baby brother.
~
"Rae are you alright?" Beast Boy pounded on the bathroom door. His wife had been there for nearly half an hour. Sweet Potato was attempting access by sticking his paw under the crack of the door.
"Raven I am coming in!" He quickly looked down at the cat. “Cover me” he said before shifting into a banana snake and slipping easily under the door. As soon as he was in, he shifted back to his normal form. sink, toilet, bathtub, no Raven? He was ready to bolt out thinking that he had been pounding on the wrong door the last 20 minutes till his nose told him different. Raven’s scent was still strong here, it was tainted with stress.
Beast Boy pulled back the shower curtain and found his wife laying in the empty bathtub. She was clutching something to her chest with both her hands. He wasn't sure but she looked paler than usual and her eyes were puffy and a bit red. He sat on the edge of the tub not sure what to make of this. "Rae you’re scaring the cat." He said quietly Raven was silent.
"Okay…Now you're scaring your husband" He reached out to her hands and Raven recoiled turning herself into the wall of the tub. Beast Boy was not going to let her hide from him. So, he climbed into the tub with her. It was a tight fit his chest to her back. "Rae I am not leaving.” He gently rubbed up and down her arm. “Talk to me whatever this is, we are in this together"
Beast Boy's mind ran the gamut, Trigon was returning, She saw the end of the word, green tea was declared a controlled substance, she was dying, Starfire was dying, He was dying, he jumped from one worst case scenario to the next. Then with shaking fingers she passed a white plastic object over her shoulder to her husband.
He took the white plastic stick with the small window that has a dark blue + sign in it. Beast Boy had never seen one before but knew exactly what it was.
"Raven…this is amazing! I didn't think we could…I mean oh god! I hope she is just like you!" He said burying his face into her shoulder giggling like an idiot.
"Don't you get it I ruined our lives!" she said into the porcelain. "We can't do this we can't be parents and Titans and..,and" That’s when the tears came.
Beast Boy pulled her tight to him. "So, we stop being Titans, or I stop and stay with the kid or I get a job or open an ice cream shop whatever it takes, whatever you and the baby need."
"You’re really happy about this." shock was coming though the sobs.
"Happy, scared, excited, petrified it's like that rush when the roller coaster goes over the first hill times like a billion."
They held each other in that empty bathtub for nearly an hour. It was the start of what Beast Boy's called a 9-month roller coaster. Anyone that says you can be ready to be a parent they are lying. But he was there for every diaper, sleepless night and doctors appointment. He cried more then baby Leia did when she got vaccinated.
The windows flashed with lighting and the boom was so loud, the strike had to be right outside. Raven's hand found her husbands, brushing the bracelet around his wrist before giving his fingers a gentle squeeze.
"Rae?"
Raven looked up into her husband’s barely opened eyes. "You ok?" He asked.
Raven just nodded slightly. Beast Boy pulled his wife's hand to his lips and pressed a kiss into her palm. Then settled back into his pillow, his hand rubbing Luke’s back before coming to a rest.
~
Beast Boy didn't know what to think. Things were going so well or he thought. He had been dating Raven for nearly a year and somehow, he didn’t screw it up. Oh, he had made mistakes, still upset her from time to time but things were good. At least he thought they were good till this week.
He woke up one day and it was like the last 12 months never happened. Raven would barely talk to him. She would leave the room whenever he walked in. Raven even cut her hair short again, she had been growing it out and it was just past her shoulders. But now it was as short as the day they met. The last three nights he had got to her room knowing she was behind the door trying to apologize. Beast Boy had no idea what he did wrong. But he would cop to global warming, the Lex Luthor presidency, and Hawaiian Pizza if his girlfriend would just talk to him. But the door would not open. Leaving Beast Boy to shift into a terrier to sleep at her door.
On the 4th day, his phone chimed. Raven had sent a text. “Please come to my room tonight, at 8:43pm sharp.”
That was it. A simple grammatically correct text message to let him know that they were done. He knew it was coming. After all she was amazing, he was a freak. She was lovely, he was a green gremlin. He should have known that Raven would want better, she deserved better. All that was left to do was show up at the time Raven requested, take it like a man, then go back to his room bawl like a baby in private.
For the first time in days Raven's door opened for him when he knocked. Raven stood in the doorway wearing a white flowing robe that went all the way to the ground. A small smile on her face. She put out her hand "Come with me please." Beast Boy dumbfounded took her hand and let her lead him into the darkened room.
In the center of the room in front of the bed was a low small table. On the table was a black cast iron bowl full of green flame. It was the only light in the room, the fire gave no scent or smoke. Raven led him over to the table, holding his hand the whole time. They knelled across the table from each other. That’s when Beast Boy noticed a purple braid next to the iron bowl. He recognized it right away as Raven's hair, the length she had cut and now interweaved. This was getting stranger by the second.
"Raven what is going on?" He asked finally remembering how to talk.
"Garfield do you love me?" She asked, looking into his eyes.
Beast Boy could feel his heart in his throat "Yes"
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes" he said, and he meant it. Despite the last few days he would still walk through hell for her if she asked.
Raven with her free hand took the braid of hair. "To you, I offer myself, my love, my wish to walk the path with you." She wrapped the bracelet around his wrist. "Will you accept me?"
Beast boy's eyes were as wide as saucers. He had no idea what was going on, just a tingle down his back. His mouth had gone dry and if you asked, if he would be able to remember his name, it would be Bob. But on instinct alone he breathed out "Yes, please." As if he was just offered a cold drink which he could have used at the time.
Then in one motion Raven passed their hands over the bowl of fire. The bracelet caught the flame and was instantly engulfed. Beast Boy jerked his hand back in panic, but Raven held fast. The flame had no heat and only lasted a moment. When he looked at his wrist the braid of hair was gone. What remained was a bracelet, a braided chain made of a silver colored metal with a slight purple tint.
It took Beast Boy a few moments to process this. "Rae, what did we just do here, did we just get married?" He said wide eyed "Because it feels like we just got married."
"This is an Azarathan betrothal ceremony"
“So were engaged?"
"Yes, is that not acceptable?" she said quietly.
"Yes! I mean No! I mean I always thought I would ask you, and this last week I thought that you didn’t want to be with me anymore.” The words came out in a rush. Beast boy went from feeling like the weight world was across his shoulders to being in free fall.
"I am sorry Gar" She offered and took both his hands. She stood and pulled him to his feet. "It was all part of the tradition." A moment later the room was lit by dozens of candles that were scattered about. "On Azerath the woman chooses a suitor. When she does, she lets her hair grow out. If the relationship does not work, she cuts her hair short until she meets someone else.” Raven fingered the bracelet on Beast Boy’s wrist. “However, if the relationship does work when the hair is long enough the woman will cut her hair and fashion this bracelet. During which she cuts herself off from her suitor to see how he reacts. Trust me this was just as hard on me as it was on you. "
"Would it still be okay if I still got you a ring?" he said timidly.
"Of course,"
Beast boy kept looking at the chain that now wrapped his wrist. "Um Rae, there is no clasp on this."
"Of course there isn't, you are mine now." She kissed him deeply, removing whatever sense he had left.
"We’re getting married." He stated. He needed to say it, he needed to hear it, to make sure that this was real.
"Yes, but that comes later” She said walking over to the bed. She turned to face him, “there is one final part of the ritual." with one motion she undid a clasp at her throat and the white robe fell from her shoulders and pooled at her feet. All that she was wearing at that point was the flickering candle light.
Raven let her head ease back onto the pillow she closed her eyes and tried to focus on the sound of the rain. Trying to let the rhythm soothe her. For years she thought that she would be alone. Who would accept a demon? Who could love a monster? She truly expected to fall asleep alone with her nightmares for the rest of her life. But thanks to a scrawny, green, pointed eared, boy that couldn’t resist a pun. She was not alone. No matter what her father conjured in her dreams she would wake up next to the man she loved and the family they built.
Still in the morning, Raven was going to talk to her husband about getting a bigger bed.
This was a work created for another project that do to unforeseen circumstances did not happen. You will also find it on A03. https://archiveofourown.org/works/23019136 It was a shame cause I got to work with some really creative people.
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Whumptober 2020 Masterlist
Day 1: Waking Up Restrained | Shackled | Hanging
Hanging on by a Thread
Obi-Wan didn’t know how long he’d been hanging there, only that it had been long enough for him to lose all feeling in his arms. Blood dripped down from his wrists, the weight of his own body held just above the ground causing the shackles to cut into his skin. It was starting to get harder to breathe with his arms above his head, but stretching his toes down to rest on the ground hurt too much to try and do anymore.
The sound of Obi-Wan’s breath in his cell was his only companion for a long time. He could feel himself drifting off, exhaustion overpowering the pain keeping him awake, when his cell door slammed open.
Day 2: "Pick Who Dies" | Collars | Kidnapped
A Rock and a Hard Place
“And now the great Jedi General Anakin Skywalker is presented with a choice,” the queen grinned. Her words were barely loud enough for him to hear even though she was only a few feet away from him. There was a slight echo as her words were projected to the rest of the audience. “There are two in the arena now. Which will you choose to survive? Your master, or the slave? Who do the Jedi value more, an innocent life or one of their own?”
Day 3: Manhandled | Forced to their Knees | Held at Gunpoint
Falling to Pieces
“-Jedi Knight!” The queen, Miraj Scintel, was the one speaking. Her gold jewlery glimered in the sun as she continued to talk with Anakin and Ahsoka by her side. Obi-Wan continued to be paraded into the arena, pushed around if he wasn’t moving quite fast enough for the guards’ liking. “My friends, my good friends, do not fear the Jedi! They are no different from others we have forced into submission. For they have forsaken their ideals to serve a corrupt Senate! Every Jedi has become a slave to the Republic. The Jedi Order is weak and we will help break it.”
Day 4: Caged | Buried Alive | Collapsed Building
Bird Born For Joy
Ahsoka remembered being forced into a cage on the Kadavo mission. She remembered dangling over a high drop, with large animals shaking the cage trying to get to her. Her cage was secure- and when did it become her cage instead of the cage?- but that didn’t stop her heart from pounding at every movement.
She’d tried to stay calm and meditate, remembering the lessons she’d been taught as an initiate and later as a padawan by Master Kenobi. Cross-legged in an easy and comfortable position, hands resting lightly on her knees, focusing on breathing. Letting everything go to listen to the Force and feel it flow around, in, and through everything.
But eventually her thoughts drifted to that which she had been avoiding. The auction.
Day 5: On the Run | Failed Escape | Rescue
Windows to the Soul
You’re celebrating when it happens. Another battle, won with fewer casualties than is unfortunately regular. You look around to your men and you think- we might win this. One day this war will be over, and you can rest.
You can go back to your Temple with your family, mourn those you’ve lost, and celebrate the brothers joining. You can lay down your lightsabers, let them rest- for they are tired too, the kyber just as worn as the Jedi they have bonded with- and you can go back to your art. To studying history and literature, helping those who need it rather than senators who demand your attention and reduce your faith in the Force to mere parlor tricks. You can raise your younglings in a time of peace instead of sending padawans to war and you can sit and just breathe. You never missed the quiet before.
Day 6: "Get it Out" | No More | "Stop, Please"
Please...
“Stop, please,” Obi-Wan said quietly. Anakin had endured everything they'd thrown at him for so long- the cuts, whips, bruises, stabs, but Obi-Wan wasn’t sure how much longer he could last. His limbs were shaking and his eyes had gone hazy and unfocused. Anakin hadn’t been able to look Obi-Wan in the eye for hours, but recently he hadn’t even been staring at his general vicinity, just into the middle distance. It was most likely a combination of the head injuries and blood loss and the Seperatists still would not let up.
Obi-Wan didn’t know if their torturer hadn’t heard or was making Obi-Wan beg for the privilege to turn over classified information. The man twirled a knife between his fingers and lightly traced the skin of Anakin’s arm with it. Anakin didn’t let out a sound as the tip slowly parted his flesh and bright red drops of blood spilled out to cover dried old trails. He was far too used to this type of pain now.
“Please! No more,” he begged without shame. Obi-Wan would say anything, so anything to stop the man before him from hurting Anakin more. “I’ll do it.”
Day 7: Support | Carrying | Enemy to Caretaker
I’ve Got You
Obi-Wan remembers the battle. He remembers the sight of blaster bolts flying across the field. Clones screaming in fear and agony all around him. He remembers desperately blocking the shots and killing droids as they overwhelm him and his men. He remembers thinking that there’s nothing he can do to protect his padawan behind him.
It's a surprise to open his eyes again.
Day 8: Day 8: "Don't Say Goodbye" | Abandoned | Isolation
Stages of Surviving
Pain. Death. Despair. Insanity. Darkness. Revenge.
It swirled around him like an angry snowstorm
All of them, the other would feel like he himself had.
Day 9: "Take Me Instead" | "Run!" | Ritual Sacrifice
sharpen your knife
Anakin didn't know where he was, who had him, or what had happened.
All he knew was pain.
The pain in his head, pounding in time with his heart.
He couldn't even scream as he was strapped down against the stone altar and blades pierced his arms.
Day 10: Blood Loss | Internal Bleeding | Trail of Blood
don't leave me
Bright red drops stood out starkly against pure white snow. Everywhere Anakin looked the planet was stained with the blood of his men, those dead and those still dying.
“Obi-Wan!” He yelled into the after-battle haze. Clones barely looked up from where they laid, far too used to their commander’s screaming. Normally he might stay and help comfort a few, but Anakin could barely think past his panic and the fading bond in his head. “Master!”
Anakin tugged on their bond and limped off in the direction it led as fast as he could. Everything he passed was a blur, clones blending into the background as he focused on finding exactly where Obi-Wan had ended up after being separated from Anakin. Not even a few moments later Anakin hurried his pace, the sight of smears of dark red spurring him on.
Day 11: Defiance | Struggling | Crying
break me down/build me up (to what you want me to be)
Figures walk behind the bars of Anakin’s cell, his cage. That’s what it is- a space designed to keep him in and show him off, break him until he’s little more than a feral pet in captivity. They want his mind torn in half and his body in pain, willing to do whatever they want in order to have a few more seconds of peace.
It’s too bad that they won’t get what they want.
Day 12: Broken Down | Broken Bones | Broken Trust
Even Stars Burn Out
“No no no- Anakin!” He fell to his knees next to the body of his former padawan. Up close Anakin looked even worse, golden skin pale and breath shallow. “Oh, Anakin,” he whispered as he saw the damage to his chest. Whatever had hit him had been large and heavy, enough to break nearly every rib and cave in his chest.
“Shh, no, dear one, I’ve got you,” Obi-Wan whispered as he brushed blood off of Anakin’s lips.
“Obi- I don’t-” Anakin coughed again and more drops appeared. They stained his skin even after Obi-Wan desperately brushed them away with shaking hands. This couldn’t- no- Obi-Wan choked back a sob as Anakin choked back blood.
Day 13: Delayed Drowning | Chemical Pneumonia | Oxygen Mask
Breathe In, Breathe Out
Obi-Wan started to panic as Anakin couldn’t stop coughing. It seemed to be getting worse as Anakin’s entire body started to shake with the force of his it.
“Anakin- Anakin what’s wrong-”
Anakin coughed again in response. He looked up at Obi-Wan with watering eyes as he forced out a quiet “Master- it hurts-” before doubling over.
Day 14: Branding | Heat Exhaustion | Fire
Burn
Anakin had been born in the desert. He was used to the heat of two suns beating down upon his back at all hours of the day.
OR
Anakin and fire, through his life.
Day 15: Possession | Magical Healing | Science Gone Wrong
symphony of stardust
Anakin was still just barely stable when they arrived on Coruscant.
Healers swarmed them the second they touched down, voices overlapping with each other as they did their best to help Anakin while rushing him along to the Halls of Healing.
Obi-Wan wasn’t sure what caused it to finally happen. After hours of staying as still as the grave Anakin finally moved, his back arching off the bed as he screamed and the lights flickered.
Day 16: Day 16: Forced to Beg | Hallucinations | Shoot the Hostage
Hold On
“Beg me,” Maul sneered, “To spare your padawan’s life.”
Obi-Wan panted from where he was standing. He couldn’t focus on the monster threatening his former padawan, he was too focused on Anakin. On the cuts and bruises on his face, the tears in his clothing, the concussed look in his eyes. Maul’s hand threaded through Anakin’s hair was probably the only thing holding him up at the moment.
“Or should I run him through like I did your master? Let you watch the life bleed out of his eyes? Should I cut him and half and see if he can survive like I did all those years?”
Day 17: Blackmail | Dirty Secret | Wrongfully Accused
what do we have at the end of the day? / each other, and hope
"Do you understand, Vader?" Palpatine- no, Sidious- hissed. This wasn’t the grandfatherly facade Sidious had donned to fool the Jedi, the Senate, and the public- this was who he really was, the Sith behind the mask.
Anakin shook from where he was kneeling. His Master hadn’t been pleased with him ever since he’d let Kenobi escape nearly a year ago- he’d been in the med bay for weeks after that incident, recovering from what his master had done to him. He could barely walk when Sidious had sent him on another mission. Since then Anakin’s punishments for failure had been harsher and become more frequent as more and more Jedi ‘escaped’ his grasp. Anakin knew this was his last chance- leading the clones to the Jedi Temple and killing their young and their old. Or Sidious would kill him and his mother.
Day 18: Panic Attacks | Phobias | Paranoia
should have been me
Obi-Wan stumbled back to his room when everything was over. He’d been exhausted for days after Naboo but he hadn’t been allowed to break down by himself. There were too many things to do- stay and help the Noobians then head back to Coruscant with Anakin in tow, explain everything to the Council and fight for the right to teach the boy Qui-Gon had found, then put together a schedule on how to teach a boy who hadn’t been raised in the Temple and who had never been taught their customs…
Obi-Wan kept busy enough to ignore the growing panic in his chest. He ignored the looks of pity the other Jedi gave him as he showed Anakin around the Temple. Obi-Wan had enough to do, he didn’t have time for a breakdown, and Anakin’s joy kept away the cold well enough for now.
Day 19: Grief | Mourning A Loved One | Survivor's Guilt
sandstorm
There was nothing left, Obi-Wan finally realized weeks later. He’d known the fact earlier, of course. He knew everything he had lost with a pain deep enough to settle into his bones and keep him warm through the desert nights. Obi-Wan remembered that one night, his siblings in the order, his brother-son who he’d raised, the Republic he’d served his entire life.
He knew that he’d lost it all, and yet it still didn’t fully hit him until he was laying in his cot, alone in his hut, staring at the ceiling and wishing he was back on Coruscant. Obi-Wan knew with a sinking in his heart that manifested through the tears in his eyes that he could never go back to the home he once knew.
Day 20: Lost | Field Medicine | Medieval
stitches
Kix was a trained Medic. It was his job, what he had literally been born to do, and he was good at it.
So why did it feel that more of his patients died in his arms than survived?
Day 21: Chronic Pain | Hypothermia | Infection
every day (rinse and repeat)
Anakin woke up in the morning and immediately took two pills. They were small, white, round things, and though he knew it would take a little while for them to kick in and actually do their job, he could swear that he felt better immediately.
He hissed as he stepped out of bed and the light from his open window hit his face. It was more jarring than it usually was and Anakin felt a spike of pain shoot through his skull. A hand reached up to rub at his forehead and Anakin groaned as he realized how dry his mouth was and how sore his throat felt.
Fierfek.
If he was already feeling this bad it would be a Force-blessed miracle if it got any better.
Day 22: Poisoned | Drugged | Withdrawal
sap
Anakin reached out to Obi-Wan, both in the Force and with his flesh hand, but his limbs were moving like molasses. Now that he was paying more attention to it, it felt like his head had been drenched in something heavy, a weight that was dragging his eyes down and telling him to fall asleep, to drift off and to dream. Panic rose in his chest and stayed there as he wasn’t even able to push it down his training bond with his master.
“Obi-Wan?” Anakin heard his own voice speak from far away. It felt like he was underwater and not, everything muffled and yet sharpened around him. It was confusing to wrap his head around, the sensation of polar opposites occurring at the same time in his own mind.
Day 23: Exhaustion | Narcolepsy | Sleep Deprivation
no rest for the wicked
Obi-Wan swayed on his feet even as he tried his hardest to keep steady. It was more difficult with every passing moment. The need to collapse grew stronger, as did the pounding in his head and the need to yawn. He was only hearing every third sentence spoken around him and at this rate he’d be lucky if he remembered anything in a few minutes.
Day 24: Forced Mutism | Blindfolded | Sensory Deprivation
the cold/the warmth, the void/the light
Voices, muffled behind the metal of his prison. Words he couldn’t make out and wasn’t sure he wanted to. The last time he’d heard voiced it hadn’t been pleasant- he’d been locked here, after all. He tried to move, either closer to or further from the voices, he wasn’t sure- but he couldn’t twitch a muscle. Instead he resigned himself to whatever his fate might be.
Day 25: Disorientation | Blurred Vision | Ringing Ears
smoke
Smile couldn’t exactly recall when he’d been hit. He remembered dropping onto the field behind General Skywalker and the others. He remembered firing his blaster at the droids, and avoiding the bolts fired back. He remembered the grunts of his brothers around him and the screams as they were hit, and most of all, he remembered the silence when they couldn’t speak anymore.
Day 26: Migraine | Concussion | Blindness
blink
It was dark when Anakin entered the hall. Pitch-black except for the blue of his saber, held up in front of him. The kyber inside hummed, anticipating a fight, and Anakin tensed at every sound. Water dripping in the corners of the halls he walked, rodents scuttling in the background. Anything could be indicative of an incoming attack, and Anakin would not be deterred from rescuing his master.
Day 27: Earthquake | Extreme Weather | Power Outage
snowfall
He took everything in and tried to memorize every detail. Anakin’s lips, normally full and soft, were chapped and bleeding. His closed eyes covered their deep blue coloring. His skin, pale when it was once golden. Snow coated it all, even for the short time they’d been lying down.
Once, Obi-Wan might have brushed the flakes off but now he barely had the strength to keep his eyes open and breathe at the same time. Still he endured to watch over Anakin. He would not close his eyes until he physically couldn’t any longer.
The moment came much sooner than he would have preferred, but Obi-Wan was expecting it at the same time. With Anakin’s face clear in his mind, Obi-Wan drifted off into the cold.
Day 28: Accidents | Hunting Season | Mugged
Accidents Happen
It was an accident.
It was an accident.
It was an accident, Padmé repeated to herself as she covered her mouth in horror. It wasn’t her fault at all, it was just an accident- Somehow she couldn’t convince herself of that fact.
Day 29: Intubation | Emergency Room | Reluctant Bedrest
stay safe
Ahsoka sighed as she squirmed in the bed she’d been forced into. It wasn’t comfortable no matter how she turned, and Ahsoka huffed as she collapsed back onto it. She couldn’t believe Anakin had sent her to the medbay, instead of letting her tag along on their mission. Ahsoka wanted to be with her men, fighting, instead of being trapped here in the medbay. She needed to protect them. Far too many of their men had died in this war already, and Ahsoka didn’t know how she could take the constant losses if this war lasted years, or even decades. No matter how safe Anakin promised that they would be, Ahsoka needed to be with them and not in the medbay.
Day 30: Injury Reveal | Hiding an Injury | Internal Organ Injury
innocence died screaming
Shmi shoved down all of the hurt and anger rising in her chest again, and smiled.
-
Obi-Wan ignored the aching in his chest as he forced himself to calm slightly and smile, though no one could see it.
-
Anakin knew this was nothing that he couldn’t deal with on his own, and so, he smiled.
-
"I'm fine."
Day 31: Experiment | Whipped | Left for Dead
spill my blood on this sand
Anakin knew how he looked in the center of the small square. It wasn’t anything unusual to see a slave tied up at the whipping post, to hear the crack of the whip, the cries of the slave, and the laughing of the masters. You never heard the slaves speak in the square. They prayed for the life of one of their own, averted and closed their eyes from the sight of their sibling tied to the post. Many of them knew what it was like to be tied there for punishment or for entertainment, and many knew that they might be next.
Anakin looked up to the sky, wishing that Leia the Great Dragon or one of the other goddesses might come and save him now. He prayed just like every other slave before him had, with all their hope and fear, until it shattered on the ground below him. Then he looked to the stained sand, and with his despair, he asked the gods to grant him the will to survive one more day.
#I finally got around to making this lmao#my writing#rynae writes#whumptober 2020#whumptober 2020 masterlist#star wars#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#ahsoka tano
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One Full Moon - Day 12
No-Set-Prompt-List-tober, October 12: Werewolves & Vampires
Robinpile (specifically JayDick, JayTim, DamiTim), werewolves Jason and Tim, vampires Dick and Damian, aged up, knotting, anal sex, fingering, dirty talk, biting & mating marks, bottom Dick & Tim, top Jason & Damian, enemies to lovers, blood, mentions of mpreg, pining, major angst (and slightly sad but hopeful ending), possessiveness & jealousy, plot with porn, 6,820 words
/╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\
“Grayson,” Damian said, whirling into the room by slamming it open.
Dick gave Damian an annoyed look. “Was the door slamming really necessary?” he asked.
“Of course. It’s urgent.”
Dick sighed. “What is it, Little D?”
Damian’s lip curled in distaste at the nickname. “Our hunting grounds have been tainted.”
Dick sat up immediately. “The Willow Falls area?” he asked sharply.
Damian’s nod was curt and cold.
“Shit!” Dick said angrily. “By who? Because I swear to fucking Heaven and Hell that I was-”
“Todd’s pack.”
Dick froze, his eyes widening. “Jason’s pack?” he whispered, a brief flicker of hurt running across his face. Then, he pressed his lips together tightly and shook his head. “What did they do?” he asked emotionlessly.
“Slaughtered all the prey within a five-mile radius from the falls,” Damian said. “Anything larger than a rabbit. Are we going to get revenge on them?”
Dick slumped back into his chair. “No,” he said softly. “There’s a full moon coming soon.”
Damian’s eyebrows furrowed. “So? Our power increases on the full moon as well! If we feed before we go, we can take them!”
Dick shook his head. “The full moon is on the 31st, Damian. Of October.”
Damian’s confusion only grew. “Okay? So?”
Dick sighed and leaned back in his chair. “When was the last time there was a full moon on Halloween, Dami?”
“Eighteen years ago, Grayson. Get to your point.”
Dick smiled softly. “You were a baby vamp then, weren’t you? Seventeen years old?”
Damian rolled his eyes. “Yes, I was,” he said through gritted teeth. “Your point.”
“I don’t know if you remember that night-”
“I have impeccable memory; of course I remember!”
“-but I was out all night, and when I came back, I slept for a full twenty-four hours,” Dick said calmly.
“I recall that,” Damian said. “Father told me not to wake you for dinner even though you looked unwell.”
Dick nodded. He then rolled up the sleeve of his shirt, showing Damian his inner bicep. “You’ve seen this scar, right?”
Damian’s glare deepened because he had no idea where Dick was going with it. “Yes. You got it from fighting Todd’s pack. You told me.”
“Well,” Dick said. “I kind of lied.” He turned his arm to show Damian more. “You see, wolves have 42 teeth. Twenty on top, twenty-two on the bottom. But my scar only shows 40 indentations.”
“So the incompetent wolf didn’t bite you all the way, no surprise,” Damian said with a roll of his eyes.
“Dami,” Dick said gently. “It’s a mating bite. 42 to kill, 40 to mate for life. That’s the wolves’ way.”
Damian stared at him for a very long time. “What,” he said in a deathly quiet voice. “You’re telling me... you’re mated to a fucking werewolf?! From Todd’s pack?!”
Dick swallowed and nodded slowly.
“Who the fuck is that bastard?!” Damian raged. “I’ll kill him myself-”
“It’s Jason.”
Damian went silent again, but his eyes were alight with fury. “Todd.”
Dick nodded.
“That is Jason-fucking-Todd’s mating bite on your arm?!”
Dick nodded again, slower.
Damian took a sharp breath and exhaled equally sharply. “Then who’s the bimbo wolf that follows after Todd like a lost puppy? His sister?”
“That’s Tim,” Dick said. “He’s, um, he’s also Jason’s mate. His actual mate.”
“What the hell does that mean, actual mate? I didn’t know wolves could take two different mates! I thought they mated for life!”
“They do,” Dick said, starting to roll his sleeve back down. “Or until the death of one. But that rule only applies to wolves. And I’m obviously not a wolf.”
“Obviously,” Damian said through gritted teeth. “I don’t- I don’t understand. How did you even get that bite in the first place?”
“Jason and I were... involved,” Dick said simply. “It was a long, long, long time ago though.”
“How long?” Damian demanded.
“Almost two centuries.”
“Fucking hell, Grayson. You’ve been mated for almost two hundred years, and no one knew about this?!” Damian yelled, throwing his hands up.
“Bruce knew,” Dick said. “He was the one to found out a way around the whole mating thing. Wolves must have physical contact with their mates on a regular basis. But since I’m not a wolf, yet the mating bite still took, it was not necessary for it to happen often. In fact, he can go up to twenty years without having that physical contact with me.”
“So that’s what you do every Halloween with a full moon,” Damian concluded. “You go get physical with Todd.”
“That’s one way to put it,” Dick said with a small wince.
Damian sighed heavily. He shook his head. “Grayson,” he said in a quieter voice. “What did happen between you and Todd? You seem to hate each other now.”
“Oh, I don’t hate him,” Dick said. “I don’t like him very much, sure, but I could never hate him. He would have to have done something terrible for me to hate him. I loved him once, ages ago.”
“So what happened?”
“The split between vampires and werewolves grew. The schism between his pack and our clan widened. We saw less of each other, and we argued more than we smiled at each other, defending our respective sides. He said that Bruce was feeding me lies, and I said that Slade was a manipulative scumbag. It just didn’t work out.”
“And now you’re both leaders of your respective sides, forever doomed to be at each other’s throats until you die,” Damian said bitterly.
Dick laughed. “Yeah, I guess. It’s really not so bad though. When we do... do things, he’s actually quite gentle.”
“I don’t trust him,” Damian spat, and that conversation ended there.
~~~
“I’m leaving now, Little D!” Dick called, pulling his fur coat over his shoulders. “Make sure Mira gets a bath before I get back?”
Damian appeared from around the corner, carrying the little vampire pup in his arms. The menace growled at Dick, who tried to pet her head. Damian snapped his fingers and a second later, one of their servants came over, taking Mira from Damian’s arms.
“You shouldn’t go,” Damian said, crossing his arms.
Dick smiled, fastening his cloak. “I don’t have a choice, Dami.”
“Just let Todd die,” Damian mumbled. “Would make it easier for us.”
Dick sighed. “No killing, remember? Enemies or not. And besides, if he died, his mate would suffer greatly as well. Depending on how deeply connected they are, he could die too.”
Damian scoffed. “Like that’s such a tragedy.”
Dick laughed. “You’re such a protective little brat,” he said. “Seriously, I’ll be fine, Damian.”
Damian did not say anything, frowning deeply instead. Dick opened and door and started to go.
“He bit you last time,” Damian called out.
Dick froze and glanced back at him. “What?”
“I remember. When you came home eighteen years ago. You had bruises everywhere, and there was dried blood. I remember smelling it. When you woke up again, you had been bandaged it up, so I had no idea what your injuries were. But he bit you, didn’t he?”
Dick tried smiling again. “No, Damian-”
“Stop defending him, Dick! He made you sick! Why are you still going to him?!”
Dick’s smile slowly started disappearing, his eyes revealing his nervousness. “I was fine,” he argued weakly. “I just needed rest.”
“You were fine last time. You might be fine this time, but what if one day he goes to far?” Damian demanded. “What if you die?”
“Damian-”
“Don’t go, Dick,” Damian said one last time. “Don’t go to him.”
Dick stared at Damian for a long time. Then, he shook his head. “Sorry,” he said quietly. “I can’t do that.” Then, with a whirl of his cloak, Dick turned and fled into the night.
~~~
Dick stepped into the clearing, dead leaves and sticks crackling under his feet. He pulled the cloak tighter around him and sighed.
Jason was late, though Dick really expected nothing less. The wolf liked having control, so he liked making Dick wait.
But speak of the devil, Dick heard movement in the darkness around him. He turned quickly, eyes darting to follow the noise, but it was too quick for him to pinpoint, all characteristics of a wolf.
“Just come out already,” Dick said. “I’m not in a mood to play mind games with you tonight.”
Jason leaped out at him, nearly knocking Dick to the ground had he not stepped out of the way. Jason did catch Dick’s cloak however, snapping the button around Dick’s neck.
Dick gasped in offense. “That was my favorite cloak!” he yelled at the large wolf who snarled at him. Dick angrily hit the wolf on the snout, but it had little effect, other than making the wolf angry and snap at him.
A second later, the wolf morphed and a man sat in its place, still on top of Dick’s luscious cloak. The man was mostly naked, save for a pair of shorts.
Jason grinned at Dick sharply, his canines flashing in the moonlight. “Hello, there, Dickie. Long time no see.”
Dick sighed. “Please get off my cloak.”
Jason stood and stepped off of Dick’s cloak, mock bowing as Dick picked it up and dusted it off. Only the button had been damaged, but that was an easy fix.
He draped it over his arm and continued to stare at Jason.
“Yeah,” he finally said. “Long time no see, Jason. I hear things have been going well for you?”
Jason licked his lips and laughed. “My life has been wonderful, thank you for asking.”
Dick nodded, saying nothing more.
Jason continued however. “As you probably heard, I’ve got a mate now. A proper one.”
“Mhm,” Dick said quietly, revealing nothing on his face. “Timothy, I heard his name was?”
Jason nodded. “Sweetest little thing,” he said.
Dick did not respond to him.
“I love him, you know,” Jason said.
Dick gave Jason a smile, one that had no tightness in it, and one that certainly did not reflect the aching in Dick’s heart. “That’s good for you, Jason. Really. Now if you don’t mind, can we get on with this?” he asked. “I’m sure you’d like to get back to your mate as soon as possible.”
“Actually,” Jason said. “He’s here right now. He wanted to meet you.”
Dick turned around in time to see another wolf step out of the shadows. He had seen the wolf before and easily recognized its pale fur, one that stood out among his pack.
The wolf morphed, and a second later, another man stood in front of Dick. Dick had never seen Tim’s human form before, so he was surprised to see a small, slim man standing there. Dick’s eyes were immediately drawn to the mark on Tim’s collarbone, a bite of 40 teeth.
“Hi,” Dick said. “You’re Timothy, I assume. Pleasure to meet you.” He held out his hand.
Tim stared at Dick’s hand for a moment before he smiled softly and took his hand. “And I you, Dick Grayson. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Ah? I would say I wish it were all good things, but knowing Jason, it would be a miracle,” Dick said.
“Actually,” Tim said, his smile growing. “It’s all been good things! He speaks rather fondly of you.”
Dick’s eyes flickered to Jason, who was glaring daggers at them. “Really?” he asked. “Well, I’m flattered.”
“Yeah, well, don’t let it get to your head,” Jason grunted. “They were mostly about your ass. But Tim’s is just as good.”
Tim laughed. “He’s lying,” he said. “I don’t have much of an ass. Certainly not like the famous Grayson ass.”
Dick smiled. Then, he asked the question that had been bothering him since Tim stepped out into the clearing. “You... you know about all this?”
Tim nodded. “The mating thing? Yes, I know.”
“And you’re... okay with it,” Dick said with a silent wince. “I mean, no offense, but from what I’ve learned, wolves are rather possessive of what’s theirs, their mates especially.”
Tim patted Dick’s arm. “Trust me,” he said. “I’m possessive. But I’m also logical. I know Jason’s not doing it because he loves you.” He looked past Dick and shared at smile with Jason. “He’s doing it because he loves me.”
Hearing it from someone else, that someone being Jason’s mate, it hurt more than Dick expected. Still, he had perfected a poker face, so he revealed nothing. “Good,” he said. “As long as we’re clear.”
Suddenly, he felt Jason’s arms wrap around him from behind, fingers already unbuttoning his shirt. Dick bit his lip and took a deep breath. Get it over with, and he will not have to worry about it for another eighteen years.
Suddenly, a blur of something pounced from the darkness, tackling Tim to the ground. Jason was off of Dick in a second, growling, his teeth growing and his claws out.
“Damian!” Dick shouted when he finally saw who it was holding a knife to Tim’s throat. “What the hell are you doing here?!”
“Keep your filthy hands off of him, you mutt,” Damian snarled. “Or I’ll kill this one!”
“You little-” Jason leaped at Damian, ready to claw the younger vampire’s face off.
“Stop!” Dick screamed, pushing himself between them. Pain bloomed in his left cheek, and Dick cried out.
The smell of iron filled the clearing as Dick cupped his cheek, his hand soaked with blood. Jason’s eyes were wide, staring at the blood on his own hand.
“Dick, I didn’t mean to-”
“You.”
Damian’s eyes were murderous. His knife was pressed so tightly against Tim’s throat that Dick could see the thinnest line of blood along the wolf’s pale flesh.
“Damian,” Dick said, tasting his own blood in his mouth. “Stop, please. Drop the knife.”
“Grayson, he-”
“Drop the knife,” Dick repeated.
Damian glared at him, then at Jason, then back at him. He let the knife go. It fell to the forest floor, but he still held Tim tightly.
“Go home,” Dick said softly. “Please just go home, Dami.”
“He hurt you!” Damian shouted, gesticulating at Jason and letting go of Tim. Damian’s accusing finger waved in the direction of Jason, who still had a horrified expression on his face. “Why do you come back to him when you know all he does is hurt you?!”
Dick, all too practiced in pushing down unwanted emotions, made his face a blank slate. “You don’t understand what going on, Damian,” he said. “There’s much more than a few injuries. Go. Home.”
“I’m not going home,” Damian whispered defiantly. “You can’t make me. Until you come with me, I’m not going. I’m not going to let that despicable wolf hurt you any more.”
Dick sighed heavily, looking down at the dead leaves under his feet. Then, his turned his gaze up to the full moon. Finally, he looked back at Damian. “Fine,” he said. “Be stubborn. But don’t hold me responsible for what you see,” Dick warned.
He grabbed his cloak and dabbed at the blood on his face, wiping it away. The cuts on his face were already healing, slowly but they would probably be gone by tomorrow morning.
“Well?” he asked Jason. “Are we doing this or not?”
Jason glanced at him. Then at Damian, then at Tim.
“Timmy,” he said softly. “Maybe you should go too.”
Tim shook his head rapidly. “No!” he said in a voice that surprised both Dick and Jason.
“No?” Jason repeated.
“No,” Tim said more firmly. He glanced at Dick, then Damian. “I’m staying too.” Tim looked shyly at Dick. “If... that’s okay?”
Dick had no hard feelings for Tim. “Yeah,” he said. “That’s fine.”
Jason threw his hands up. “What even the fuck?”
“Just get on with it, Todd,” Damian snarled. “The sooner you finish, the sooner you can get your filthy paws off of my brother.”
Jason gave Damian a venomous look. Then, he stepped up behind Dick and started unbuttoning his shirt again. Damian’s jaw clenched watching him. Jason ignored him and got Dick’s shirt off, then his pants. His fingers danced along Dick’s waist and around the band of Dick’s briefs.
“You sure you wanna do this?” Jason whispered in Dick’s ear. “With them watching us?”
Dick swallowed. He closed his eyes and let Jason’s breath and words wash over him. He could feel himself getting hard in his briefs, under the intense gazes of Jason’s mate and his adoptive little brother.
“I’m sure,” Dick murmured back.
Jason’s hand trailed down until it cupped Dick’s growing arousal, gently rubbing it to get it harder. Dick bit down on his lip to swallow his moan. Jason’s hands slipped under Dick’s briefs and started pushing them down. As he went, Jason’s lips and teeth scraped over and kissed Dick’s neck, back, and all the way down to his ass.
Then, Dick was standing stark naked in front of their spectators. Jason’s hands were on his ass cheeks, kneading them and rubbing them together.
Suddenly, Jason stood and grabbed Dick’s discarded cloak. He threw it out like a rug on the forest floor. “Hands and knees,” he said firmly.
Dick fell into position like it was second nature, his face burning red when he realized he had done it without a second’s thought.
Jason was pleased about that. “Glad you remember,” he purred. He pushed Dick’s legs apart and pressed a finger to Dick’s hole, chuckling when his finger came back wet. “You’re still able to slick up, hm?”
Jason looked up to see Damian’s shocked expression. “Oh, you didn’t know?” he asked. “When your brother took my mark, he also changed a little bit to fit me. For example, this.” At that word, Jason plunged two fingers deep inside of Dick’s tight, slick hole, grinning when Dick gasped at the feeling.
Jason started pumping his fingers in and out of Dick, rubbing against the vampire’s prostate, making the man whimper and gasp at the feeling. Dick tried to hold back his moans, but it was still pretty audible despite his efforts.
“Fuck,” Dick groaned. He wiggled his ass back against Jason’s thrusts a little bit, trying to get more inside of him.
“Such a greedy little slut, aren’t you, Dickie?” Jason whispered. “My greedy little slut, aren’t you?”
Dick gave him a soft groan of agreement, his face burning with humiliation, knowing that Damian and Tim are watching him like this. The all-powerful head of the Wayne clan of vampires, on his knees for his enemy, whimpering and silently begging like he was in heat.
“So fucking good for me,” Jason whispered. “I’m going to fucking fill you up, Dickie,” Jason growled, starting to forget that they had an audience. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? You want me to fill you up and knot you and get you all nice and round with my pups, wouldn’t you?”
Dick moaned loudly at those words. He wanted it. He really did.
“Tell me, Dickie,” Jason cooed. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want- I want you to fuck me, Jason,” Dick panted out. “Fuck me, knot me, fill me!”
“Fuck,” Jason growled. He took his fingers out of Dick’s hole. He practically ripped off his shorts, his cock already completely hard. He positioned himself at Dick’s slick entrance and started pushing in.
Damian looked away in disgust, not able to watch. His gaze landed on Tim, who stood nearby, watching with unabashed interest. His disgust grew when he noticed the bulge in Tim’s shorts.
“You’re turned on by this?” he hissed.
Tim looked at him, eyes wide like he could not believe Damian was addressing him. His eyes flickered nervously back to Dick and Jason who were becoming more and more consumed in each other with Jason now draped over Dick’s back an whispering dirty things in his ear.
“Um...”
Damian scoffed. “You claim to be possessive of Todd, and yet you don’t seem angry about this at all.”
“It’s not like they can do anything else about it,” Tim said quietly. “It wouldn’t make a difference whether or not I’m upset about it.”
Damian’s eyes narrowed sharply, and Tim took half a step back. Damian took a step forward, and Tim stepped back again.
“Do I... scare you?” Damian asked, his green eyes flashing sharply. He gave a small smirk, one of his fangs sticking out.
“You did threaten to kill me,” Tim muttered under his breath.
“But it turns you on.”
Tim’s eyes widened even more. “No, I-”
“Don’t deny it, Drake. I can see the proof in front of me. Quite clearly, in fact.” Damian nodded down at Tim’s growing problem. Finally, Tim’s back hit a tree, and Damian cornered him against it.
The vampire was a bit taller than the werewolf, so Tim had to look up to meet Damian’s eyes. Damian’s hips pressed against Tim’s, just barely. Still, that one touch made Tim grow all the harder. He gave a soft whimper.
“You want me,” Damian realized, grinning even wider. “Well, well, what a development.”
“No, I- I don’t,” Tim said helplessly. “It was because I was watching Jason, and I-”
“You can’t even properly deny it,” Damian laughed darkly. “You can’t say it without looking away. You’re ashamed for wanting me, especially with your mate right there, aren’t you, Timothy?”
Tim shivered, whimpering quietly. “No...”
“So if I kissed you right now, you’d push me away?”
Tim fidgeted, not looking at Damian at all. Damian grabbed Tim’s chin, forcing the wolf man to look at him. Green eyes met blue, and Tim twitched in his pants, something Damian definitely felt.
“Are you going to tell me, or will I need to conduct a test to find out?” Damian asked.
“We- I can’t,” Tim said in a hushed voice. “Jason’s right there, and-”
“Blame it on me,” Damian murmured, leaning down. “If he says anything, say I came onto you. I don’t care what he thinks about me anyway.”
Then, he pressed his lips to Tim’s, and almost instantly, Tim came alive under his touch, moaning into the kiss and pressing against Damian. His lips parted almost immediately, letting Damian take control of their kiss. Damian put his hands on Tim’s bare waist, trailing lower and lower as their kiss grew hotter. Finally, they slipped into Tim’s shorts, and Damian squeezed Tim’s ass.
His eyes widened slightly, and he pulled back. “You produce slick too?” he asked. “Do all wolves?”
Tim blushed and shook his head. “Just whoever... y’know, takes it.”
Damian smiled wickedly. “All the better for me then,” he growled before sealing their lips together again. He easily picked Tim up, pushing the smaller man’s legs around his waist so he could finger Tim’s ass better. He started with one finger, just a tentative test.
He was pleased to find that Tim was all the more responsive to him. Their kisses became hungrier, and Tim’s legs pressed their crotches together tighter.
Meanwhile, Jason was thrusting deep into Dick, not ten feet away from Tim and Damian. However, they were both lost within each other that their surroundings disappeared.
“I’m going to fuck my pups into you,” Jason growled into Dick’s ear, biting the man’s earlobe, sucking on it and nibbling it gently. “You’re going to take my seed, and you’re going to get pregnant for me, Dickie,” he said with a harsh thrust of his hips.
“Yes!” Dick breathed. “Mmhm, Jason, I- I want your pups,” he whimpered, pressing back into every thrust, accepting it wholly into his greedy hole. “I want everyone to- to know I’m yours!”
“Yes, you fucking are!” Jason growled, lowering his head and clamping his teeth around Dick’s neck, his canines digging into Dick’s skin. His knot was slowly starting to inflate, catching on Dick’s rim with each thrust.
They both knew that it was not long before Jason’s knot would lock inside of Dick. Dick squeezed down on Jason’s knot, wanting it to catch against him and lock Jason to him for the next half an hour.
Just as Jason’s knot finally grew big enough so that it caught against Dick’s rim, Jason bit down, his canines sinking into Dick’s neck.
Dick cried out at the sudden pain and the fullness of Jason’s cock inside of him. Jason did not let go of his neck, and Dick could feel him bleeding around Jason’s teeth, and as Dick’s body tried healing himself with Jason still there, he felt a tingling that was strangely pleasurable. Then, with the added force of Jason cumming deep inside of him, Dick came loudly, spurting his own climax onto his cloak beneath him.
His arms strained to keep them both up with the force of his orgasm, and he heard Jason groan into his neck as Dick’s rim tightened rhythmically around him, milking his cock of his cum.
For the first five minutes, Jason did not let go of Dick’s neck, and Dick could feel his blood dripping down his neck and running down his arms. Still, he said nothing and let Jason stay there.
When Jason finally did let go, Dick winced at the gush of blood that followed.
“Fuck, Dickie,” Jason said filthily in Dick’s ear. “If you were a wolf, you’d be so knocked up with my pups right now.”
“Jay...” Dick panted wetly. His throat felt tight, and he swallowed to keep himself from saying that he wished that were true.
Suddenly, Jason jerked up, pulling at Dick’s rim and making Dick collapsed forward onto his elbows.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing with my mate?!” Jason yelled.
Dick glanced up tiredly, his eyes widening when he saw what had transpired while he and Jason were lost in their own world.
Damian had Tim pinned against the tree, his arms above his head, grabbing onto a tree branch, his legs wrapped around Damian’s waist.
And Damian’s lips were marking up Tim’s neck with hickies and his hands were down the front of Tim’s shorts. He gave Jason a wicked grin, his fangs flashing in the moonlight, teasingly trailing over Tim’s delicate skin.
Jason angrily pulled again, making Dick wince in pain. Jason growled when he realized that he was still knotted for Dick for at least another twenty minutes.
When Tim’s legs went to go unwrap from around Damian’s waist, Damian made a noise and kept Tim’s legs around him.
“You’re not going anywhere yet,” Damian told Tim.
“Stop touching him!” Jason roared, his eyes ablaze with fury.
Damian did not heed him at all. Instead, he somehow got the knife back in his hands, and he trailed it along the seam of Tim’s shorts, cutting it open. He ripped it away and tossed it into the dark forest.
Then, he reached around Tim and plunged two fingers into him roughly. Tim gasped out, clenching around Damian’s fingers.
“Oooh, he feels really nice inside, Todd,” Damian taunted. “Absolutely soaked.” He took his fingers out to show Jason the slick dripping from his digits.
Jason snarled at him, sounding more wolf than human. It was a warning growl, but Damian knew that Jason could not do anything about it at that moment.
Damian slipped his fingers back into Tim, adding another one. He looked back at Tim, meeting the wolf’s eyes. “I’m so tempted to fuck you right in front of him,” he said seriously.
Tim whimpered and panted a bit harder, and Damian knew all to well that it meant Tim would let him. Tim then opened his mouth, about to say something but he was unsure of himself.
“But I won’t,” Damian continued, pushing his fingers deeper into Tim, driving it into Tim’s prostate. “But you’re going to wish I did,” Damian whispered, licking a long line up Tim’s neck. “You’re going to miss this feeling once you’re back with Todd, and he treats you like you’re breakable again.”
He started speeding up his fingers until it was practically a blur going in and out of Tim, the slick slurping sounds more than audible in the quiet forest. Tim moaned, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head back. His hands were clenched white on the tree branch.
“You’re hurting him!” Jason yelled. His voice did not reach Damian’s ears, but it certainly reached Dick’s. Dick winced again. He sounded too loud, and it was making Dick’s head hurt a bit. He just lowered his head into his hands, massaging it gently.
“See?” Damian whispered into Tim’s ear, quiet enough so Jason could not hear him. “He thinks you can’t take a rough fucking. Has he even knotted you yet? I bet he thinks you can’t take it. I’m surprised he even found it in himself to mark you! But I know what you need, Timothy.” Damian could feel Tim clenching tightly around his fingers, signalling his approaching orgasm. Damian licked his lips wetly. He squeezed Tim’s waist, hard enough to leave bruises, knowing that the small wolf would love that. “You will miss me when this is all over,” he hissed.
Tim came. His legs crushed Damian against him, and his hands strangled the tree branch in half. Luckily, Damian caught him, holding him tightly against his body while Tim rode out his orgasm.
“I fucking swear, as soon as I’m free, I’m going to rip your throat out, you dirty undead leech!” Jason threatened.
Damian rolled his eyes at Jason, still holding Tim against him as he came down from is orgasm, boneless in Damian’s arms. “You couldn’t do anything to me if you tried,” Damian snarled. “Besides, don’t you dare threaten me when I’m holding your mate in my arms.”
Jason sneered. “Have you forgotten your brother is at my mercy too?”
Suddenly, Damian’s expression became ice cold when he finally noticed Dick with the drying blood up and down his arm.
“You would hurt Grayson... to hurt me?” Damian asked. “Is that why you bit him?” he asked. “Is that why he can’t even hold himself up anymore?!”
Jason’s anger faltered for a second. He spared Dick half a glance. Dick’s head was still in his hands, but he had not collapsed yet, so Jason assumed he was fine.
“I could say the same for Tim!” Jason shot back.
Damian was done with his petty arguing. He set Tim down, leaning the man against the tree. He was about to turn around to yell at Jason again when he realized that Tim was shivering. So after a second’s consideration, Damian took off his shirt and handed it to Tim. Tim stared up at him in wonder, nothing but surprise in his eyes.
“Thank you,” he mouthed, holding the rumpled shirt to his chest.
Damian just grunted in response. Then he turned around again. “I did not hurt your mate,” Damian said, stalking forward, his finger pointed at Jason. “You can look him over later. Not a single time did I break his skin. Can you really say you gave my brother the same treatment?”
Jason gritted his teeth. “That’s different,” he said. “I didn’t fuck Dick by choice-”
Damian slapped him, hard. “So that gives you a right to hurt him?” he asked in a murderous voice. “Just because he’s not yours, it means that you can treat him like he’s not a person?”
“Dami...” Dick said faintly, forcing himself to lift his head up, even though it pained him. “Stop fighting. Please. I’m... I’m okay.”
Damian shook his head in disgust. “You’re covered in your own blood, Grayson.”
Jason broke out of his shock from when Damian slapped him. Anger burst through him again, and this time, without thinking, he pulled himself out of Dick, not even noticing when Dick groaned in pain at the sudden loss. Jason stood up, claws extended, ready to take out Damian’s face.
“You’re out of line, Wayne,” Jason growled. “You dare accuse me of anything when you’ve touched my mate, and you dared to hit me? I’ve obviously been way too nice.”
Damian stood up taller. “Do what you will,” he said. “Hurting Grayson is unforgivable.”
Dick’s world started getting fuzzy. “Guys,” he said tiredly. “Please...”
“Putting your filthy hands on my mate is unforgivable too!” Jason yelled.
"You can get your revenge after I rip you limb from limb, Todd!”
“Ohhh, no,” Jason sneered. “You’re first, you little home-wrecker! You fucked my mate!”
“And you fucked my brother!”
Dick felt so tired. His eyesight could not make out clear shapes anymore, and he was pretty sure his world was spinning. He started lying down. “Dami... Jay... stop fighting,” he murmured, closing his eyes. “Too... loud.”
Suddenly, their arguing stopped.
“Grayson? Grayson!”
Damian shook Dick’s slumped form, panicking when he got no reaction. “Shit, he’s cold,” Damian hissed.
“He’s just sleeping,” he scoffed.
Damian bared his teeth at Jason. “No, he’s cold.”
Jason frowned a little harder. He knelt down and put his hand on Dick’s forehead. Dick’s skin was not just the usual cool. He was freezing cold. Dead man cold.
“What’s wrong with him?” Jason asked slowly. His eyes looked at Damian. “What’s wrong with him?!” he asked again, shouting it this time.
“I don’t know!” Damian screamed back at him. “You did this to him! I swear if you fucking kill my brother...” Damian was too angry to come up with anything. He turned back to Dick. “Grayson, I need you to open your eyes. Stay with me, Grayson!”
“I did this?” Jason whispered numbly. “But I didn’t...”
“He came back like this the last time he visited you,” Damian hissed. “He was unusually sick for a whole day before he started recovering. I knew it would get worse this time around.”
“He’s not going to die, is he?” Jason asked, his voice vulnerable. “Damian, you can’t let him die.”
Damian was taken aback by the tremor in Jason’s voice. “I won’t,” he said. He started thinking. “We need to keep his temperature up.”
Immediately, Jason grabbed the cloak, covered in dirt, leaves, cum, and blood, and draped it over Dick’s shoulders. “What else?” he demanded.
“Blood,” Damian said. “He needs blood. If you can go catch a- a rabbit or any small animal, really. Just be fast. He lost a lot of blood.”
“At this time of year?” Jason asked. “You’ll never find anything.” Suddenly, he froze. “Would my blood work?” Jason whispered, his eyes wide.
Damian immediately glared at him. “I’m not tainting Grayson by allowing him to ingest your blood!”
“If he’s really dying, Damian, I don’t think he’ll care,” Jason growled viciously. “Will my blood work or not?”
Damian pressed his lips together tightly. “Yes,” he finally said. “Probably, yeah.”
“Open his mouth,” Jason said. He held out his wrist, and Damian pried Dick’s mouth open, his fangs already extended. Jason shifted himself so that he sat behind Dick, the unconscious vampire resting against his chest. “Don’t die on me, Dickie,” Jason whispered into Dick’s ear. Then, he pierced his wrist with Dick’s fangs.
Immediately, his blood started gushing out, but it was dripping out instead, none of it going into Dick’s mouth.
“Deeper, idiot,” Damian snarled, shoving Dick’s head down so that his inch-long fangs sank all the way into Jason’s wrists.
Finally, Jason’s wrist stopped dripping, and ten worrying seconds later, Jason felt a gently sucking response that gradually became stronger.
“Dickie?” he whispered. “Hey, hey, c’mon, baby. Come back to me,” he murmured. “That’s it, baby. I’ve got you.”
Dick’s eyes snapped open with a gasp, dislodging his teeth from Jason’s wrist.
“Fuck!” Jason cursed as pain shot through him from the quick release. His eyes watched in wonder as Dick’s vampire saliva had closed up his skin almost immediately. “Hey, you okay?”
Dick’s eyes blinked at him blearily. “Jay...?”
“Yeah,” Jason said, giving a relieved sigh. “Yeah, it’s me.”
“Hmm,” Dick said, rubbing his eyes. “I feel so tired,” he said. He licked his lips. “Mm, that tasted good, what did you give me?”
“Blood,” Jason said, starting to smile from relief. “Mine,” he clarified before Dick could ask.
“I... bit you?” he asked. “Oh, shit, I bit you? I am so sorry, Jason, I didn’t mean to, and I-” Dick rambled in a panic, starting to scramble away from Jason. “I swear I did not do it intentionally at all-”
“I know you didn’t,” Jason said in confusion. “I made you do it. You- You passed out and Damian said it would wake you back up.”
“Dami...an told you...?” Dick whispered helplessly. His eyes drifted up to where Damian was kneeling a few feet away, shirtless, arms crossed, and looking rather displeased. “Dami...”
“He saved your life, Grayson,” Damian said dryly. “And he very well should have. He’s the one who fucked you up in the first place.”
“N-No,” Dick stammered. “But I can’t, I-”
“Even if you survived this time,” Damian said, cutting him off. “You would have died next time. You know that, Dick.”
“What is he talking about, Dick?” Jason asked.
“Damian, stop,” Dick whispered. “Stop it.”
Damian glared at Dick. “He deserves to know.”
“No, Damian, please, don’t!” Dick pleaded. “He doesn’t need to know!”
“Know what, Dick?” Jason asked, his voice raising. “What aren’t you telling me?”
Damian had a silent stare off with Dick, challenging him to tell Jason himself. Dick pressed his lips together, refusing.
“When he took your mark, he never marked you back,” Damian finally ground out, watching Dick’s face crumple in despair. “You got your satisfaction from marking your mate, but Grayson’s body believed that his mate rejected him, so every interaction with you just made him sicker. You would’ve eventually killed him,” he spat out.
Jason turned to Dick. “Is that true?” he asked. Dick did not answer him, just curling in on himself. Jason crawled forward, grabbing Dick’s hand. “Dick! Is that true? Did you lie to me when you said vampires don’t have mates?!”
“I was protecting you!” Dick finally yelled, tears flowing from his eyes. “We weren’t going to last. I knew that. You knew that.”
“But you let me mark you despite that,” Jason said in a hollow voice. “You said you wanted me to mark you even though you could not mark me back. Why?”
“Because- Because I still wanted an excuse to see you!” Dick finally admitted. “I knew we couldn’t be together, but I still wanted you, Jay! I knew you’d get over me soon enough and move on, and I... I couldn’t take that, but I also couldn’t chain you to me.”
“And these past two centuries of meeting up every twenty years wasn’t chaining me to you?” Jason asked angrily. “I couldn’t have a proper relationship where I give myself completely to someone because I knew I had marked someone else!”
“I know,” Dick said tearfully. His eyes glanced at Tim, silently apologizing as well. “That’s why I didn’t mark you back. If I did, you’d be stuck with me forever.”
“How is this not forever, Dick?”
Dick did not answer, so Damian answered for him. “Because he knew he would’ve died in a couple of centuries without his mark on you. And then you would be free of him.”
“You’re such a selfish fucking bastard,” Jason said in disgusted awe.
“I know,” Dick whispered, curling in on himself even more. They all fell into silence for a while, taking in the information they had just heard. “Can I... Can I see?”
Wordlessly, Jason handed his wrist over. Dick pressed his thumb over the two faint fang marks on Jason’s wrist. Then, he turned Jason’s hand over. He let out a soft sigh.
“You’re safe,” he said. “I didn’t bite you all the way.”
“So you didn’t mark me.”
Dick gave him a small smile. “Nope.”
Jason hit him on the back of the head. “Why the fuck are you smiling then? That means you’re still going to die, doesn’t it?”
“It wouldn’t really be dying, technically,” Dick said. “I’m already dead, so I mean-”
“Stop joking, Dick!” Jason shouted.
Dick shut up. Jason sighed.
Jason reached up and gently moved a bit of Dick’s hair to the side. “Why are you doing this, Dickie?” he asked softly. “I was an asshole to you. Why’d you want to stay?”
“Because I loved you? And I still love you?” Dick responded helplessly. “That alone was good enough for me.”
“You would’ve given your life for- for a few more centuries with me?” Jason asked.
“Yes,” Dick said with a small voice. “Yes, I would.”
“You’re so fucking stupid, Dick,” Jason said harshly. He took a deep breath, looking over at Tim for a split second before turning back to Dick. “I... I love you too, Dickie. Please stop being an idiot and mark me.”
Dick jerked up to look at Jason almost comically. “What?” he asked. “Did you just say that you-”
“Yes, Dickie,” Jason said insistently, shoving his arm towards Dick like Dick would die in the next five minutes if he did not mark Jason right then and there. “I still love you, and I don’t want you to die on me. So please, will you just-”
“But- But what about...?” Dick looked over at Tim, who stood at the edge of the clearing, his arms wrapped around himself. He had heard every word of course. When Dick met his gaze, Tim pulled Damian’s shirt closer around him, and he quickly looked away from Dick to hide the pain in his eyes. “Jason... I can’t,” Dick whispered.
“What do you mean you can’t?” Jason hissed.
“He’s your mate,” Dick said gently. “And... he’s already marked you.” Dick’s fingers traced over the mark on Jason’s shoulder. “If I take you, what will become of Tim, Jason?”
Jason’s bottom lip trembled once. Then, his face fell, and he hung his head. “You’re right,” he whispered. “I can’t do that to Tim. But I can’t let you die either, Dickie.”
Dick smiled softly. “Hey, I’m not going to die yet,” he said, almost laughing to lighten the mood. “I’ve still got what, eighteen, maybe nineteen years if I’m lucky? That’s a lot of time!”
“Don’t say that,” Jason growled. “That’s not a lot of time. For us, it’s gone in a blink!”
Dick laughed softly. He shifted forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Jason’s cheek, his lips hovering there for a second longer before pulling back. His eyes were suspiciously bright again. He stood up. “I’ll see you in eighteen years,” he said, collecting his cloak and draping it around his shoulders, pulling it tightly around his naked body. “Take care of Timmy, okay?”
“Wha-?”
Dick started striding away before Jason could get a word in. Damian gave Jason one last disappointed look, shook his head, and silently followed Dick.
At the edge of the clearing, Dick paused. Without turning around, he gave Jason one last piece of advice.
“And Jason? Don’t blink.”
/╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\
This took me forever to write, and it reminded me why I don’t like writing 2+ people sex scenes. There are just way too many people to keep track of.
Also, damn, that was an angst train I didn’t mean to jump on! But at the same time, shit, I might just continue this one someday because this has got some real potential, probably on AO3, so keep an eye out for that if you’re interested! I’ll link it here when I’m finished.
Hope you guys like it anyway!
PART 2 IS NOW FINISHED!!
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Your Cowboy
Alex’s laugh caught in his throat. It should be funny, it really should.
And yet.
Michael turned to him, cocky smirk firmly in place as he canted his head at just the right angle to catch the fading sun.
“Well fuck me sideways Cowboy.” Alex’s voice was barely more than a breath but the wide grin spreading across Michael’s face told him he’d been loud enough.
“That can be arranged.”
Alex groaned. “No, that wasn’t a request. I’m too sore.”
Michael smirked and swaggered over to him, the damn hat looking criminally good on him. “I told you the hat looked good,” he reminded Alex.
Alex bit his lip to hold back his retort. It was true, when Michael had first told him weeks ago that he’d bought a cowboy hat, Alex had laughed at him. Michael’s only defense was that it looked damn good on him and Alex would love it when he saw it.
He wasn’t wrong.
Michael bent over Alex, his hands braced on the arms of Alex’s chair. “You like it, admit it.”
Alex shook his head. “I admit nothing.”
Michael grinned and stood up, adjusting the hat to somehow look even better. Alex barely held back a moan. He reached for Michael only for him to dance out of reach. “Nuh uh,” he protested. “Admit it.”
Alex thought about denying it but really, who was he trying to kid? “Come over here, Cowboy,” he demanded.
Michael eyed him but slowly meandered over. “You calling me Cowboy because I look good in a cowboy hat?” He questioned teasingly.
Alex rolled his eyes. “No. It’s because you look damn good in a cowboy hat. Now get over here.”
Michael grinned and stepped into Alex’s grasp. “Whatever you say, darlin’.” Alex ignored the pet name for now and hooked a hand inside that obnoxious belt buckle and reeled him in all the way. He tilted his head to the side to avoid the hat and pulled Michael in for a kiss.
---
Alex didn’t bother reading the Caller ID when he answered the phone. “Who the fuck do you think you are calling at this hour?”
There was a low chuckle on the other end. “Well good morning to you too, darlin’.”
Alex relaxed back into his bed, the tension seeping out of him at the sound of Michael’s voice. And it was all Michael’s voice, the damn pet name had nothing to do with it. He swears. “Hey Cowboy. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
They texted, sure, but in the four years since Alex joined the Air Force, he wasn’t sure they’d actually spoken on the phone more than twice. “Just returning your call. Calls, I should say.”
Alex’s eyes cracked open. “What calls?”
There was that chuckle again. “The fourteen phone calls I got last night? I particularly enjoyed the messages, if I do say so myself. I didn’t know you could make Cowboy sound that dirty, I’m impressed really.” Michael paused. “You getting a lot of practice with that?”
Alex was more focused on the revelation that he’d drunk dialed Michael fourteen times last night than he was on the jealousy in his voice. So he didn’t even think when he replied, “You know you’re the only Cowboy in my life, Guerin.”
“Oh yeah?” Michael sounded pleased.
“Yeah,” Alex replied almost absently as he shifted around. “Fourteen times, really?”
Michael hummed. “The last couple were mostly incoherent, though.” He paused. “Fun night?”
Alex groaned. “Williams’ 21st birthday.”
Michael whistled lowly. Alex hummed in agreement. “You working?”
“Hell no,” Alex denied. “Got today and tomorrow off after covering for some guys last week.”
“Lucky you.”
Alex made some noncommittal noise before falling quiet. Neither said a word for a long while, enjoying the quiet sounds of listening to each other’s breathing.
There was a loud banging on his door shortly before it swung open. Patrick leaned heavily on the doorframe. “I fucking hate you Manes.”
Alex raised an eyebrow.
“I have to go to the base,” Patrick ground out, his eyes barely open.
Alex smirked. “Have fun with that.”
“With what?” Michael asked through the phone.
“Not you,” Alex assured him before turning back to Patrick who now had a smirk of his own.
“Is that Michael?” He asked.
Alex nodded slowly and Patrick crossed the room to flop down next to him on the bed. Without asking, he ripped the phone from Alex’s hand and pressed it to his own ear.
“Tell me he actually left those messages,” he asked.
Alex didn’t hear Michael’s response but Patrick’s cackling started to worry him.
“Oh man,” Patrick sighed. “That was great.”
And ok, that was enough. Alex tore the phone from Patrick’s hand and shoved at him with his other until Patrick rolled off the bed.
“What exactly did I say in those messages?” He asked Michael.
Michael laughed. “I’ll save them and let you listen next time you’re here,” he promised.
“In the meantime, I’m gonna have to put up with everyone who heard me leave them.”
“There was nothing bad, I promise,” Michael assured him. “But you did get a little sappy as the night went on. And horny.”
Alex closed his eyes. “Fuck.”
“Don’t worry about it too much, darlin’. I’m sure most of them were too drunk to remember, anyway.”
“In case he doesn’t mention it,” Patrick told him from the doorway, “you asked if you could save a horse every time you rode him and if yes then you were planning to save a lot of horses.”
“Oh my god.”
“This is why you shouldn’t date Cowboys,” Patrick ‘advised’. Alex threw a pillow at him.
When he finally left, Alex turned back to the phone. “Ok, I’m going to sleep for the next 12 hours or so and when I wake up this will all have been a nightmare.”
Michael laughed softly. “Sweet dreams, darlin’.”
“Night, Cowboy.”
---
He shouldn’t be here. He knew he shouldn’t. In the week he’d been in town, he’d done a damn good job of avoiding Michael and anywhere he knew Michael might be. So why he was sitting at the bar in the Wild Pony on Friday night when he knew from both Michael and Maria that Michael was a staple here on Friday nights, he didn’t know.
They were done. Over. Finished.
Or at least that’s what they’d said on the phone. Loudly. Repeatedly.
Alex wasn’t even sure where it went wrong. Everything was fine and then within a month they could barely speak without fighting and then Michael called and canceled a trip to come see him at the last minute and they’d both lost it.
That was six months ago.
Six months without any contact and Alex was like a man dying of thirst in the desert presented with a fucking waterfall and told not to drink. How could he possibly resist?
So he was at the Pony. He’d been warming a seat at the bar for almost two hours now, long enough that Maria had checked on him twice, but he still hadn’t seen Michael. He thought about leaving, about sucking it up and just going out to the trailer, when Michael walked in.
Michael and that fucking hat.
Alex had to admit, when Michael had first gotten it, Alex was sure it would just be a fad. Something he wore for a while before he got bored of the aesthetic and moved on but no. He still wore it. And honestly, Alex couldn’t be upset about it. Michael looked good in that hat. And he knew it.
“All is right in the world,” Maria said sarcastically as Michael slid onto a free stool. “What would a Friday night be without Michael Guerin gracing my bar with his presence?” She shot him a wry look, not friendly but not unkind. “What’ll it be Cowboy?”
“Usual. And don’t call me that.” Michael’s voice was tired, like he was weary and not from a long day of work.
Maria raised an eyebrow. “You’re rocking the whole cowboy look but you don’t want to be called Cowboy?” She huffed. “Oookay.” She turned to get Michael his drink and Alex fled.
He wanted to say he didn’t know why he fled but he did. Cowboy was his name for Michael, dammit. The idea that he didn’t let anyone else call him that warmed something in Alex that he’d thought was lost.
Alex found Michael’s truck easily enough in the parking lot and scribbled a note on a receipt he found on the floorboard.
I’m at the Airstream
A
And then he left. He drove out to Foster Ranch and let himself into Michael’s home and sprawled out as best he could on Michael’s tiny bed.
It was hours before he heard the sound of Michael’s truck. Hours where he could think about what to say to fix this mess they’d somehow created.
When he stepped out of the trailer to greet Michael, everything he’d planned just flew out of his head. Michael walked towards him, his gait slow and rambling.
“Hey, Cowboy,” Alex greeted softly.
Michael paused, his shoulders tensing. “Alex,” he returned. “What are you doing here?”
Alex swallowed. It had maybe been too much to hope that Michael would respond in kind but he’d gotten used to hearing darlin’ fall from Michael’s lips. His name felt almost impersonal now. “I missed you.”
Michael huffed and shook his head, his hands resting on his hips as he kicked lightly at the dirt. “You can’t have missed me that much. Took you six days to come see me.”
Alex started. “How-”
“DeLuca mentioned it last week. She was really excited that you were coming to visit. Said it had been a long time since she got to see you for a whole week.” He didn’t glare at Alex but only just.
Alex sighed. “I didn’t think you’d want to see me. Last time we-” he stopped and shook his head. “I didn’t want to bother you.”
“So why now?”
“I saw you at the Pony.”
“I figured as much since that note wasn’t in my truck when I went inside.”
“No, I mean I was inside. I was at the bar when Maria called you Cowboy and you told her not to.”
Michael’s eyes narrowed. “What’s that have to do with anything?”
“Why don’t you want her calling you Cowboy?”
“Alex, why the hell are you here?”
“Just answer the question, Guerin.”
Michael huffed. “Because this asshole I’m in love with calls me that and I can’t stand to hear it from anyone else. Happy?”
“Yes.”
Michael paused, his mouth open to continue. “What?”
Alex laughed lightly. “Yes, that makes me happy. I like having something that’s just mine. I like that you don’t let anyone else call you Cowboy.”
“I’m confused.” Michael took the hat off to scratch his head. “You broke up with me.”
Alex’s eyes widened. “What the fuck are you talking about? You broke up with me.”
Michael eyed him. “You told me not call or text you anymore.”
“You said it was better if we didn’t see each other anymore!” Alex shouted back.
Michael stared at him. “What the fuck are you talking about? I told you I couldn’t make it that weekend a few months ago and you told me not to bother on another weekend.”
“Guerin, you called me up an hour before you were supposed to be there with a bullshit excuse about how you couldn’t make the drive-”
“My truck broke down!”
“-and then told me that it was better that way! That the driving was too much and you didn’t think it was worth it.” Alex focused on his breathing in an effort to keep the tears at bay. He’d thought he was done crying about this.
Michael didn’t say anything for a long while. “My truck is an old piece of shit that is hanging out through my sheer force of will.” Alex blinked at the non-sequitur. “The engine blew about an hour outside of Roswell and I tried to fix it as best I could so I could still make it out to you but the part I needed took a week to ship so there was no way I could have made it all the way to the base that day. When I said the driving was too much and it wasn’t worth it I meant to the truck. I was trying to suggest we meet up in the middle or maybe I could scrounge up for plane tickets because the truck can’t handle the trips anymore.”
Alex stared. “What?”
Michael huffed. “I was talking about the damn truck, Alex. Not us.”
“That-that is not how it sounded.” Alex shook his head. “Not at all.”
“Alex-”
“It sounded like I was too much of a hassle and you couldn’t be assed to try anymore.” Alex tried to glare at him but couldn’t quite manage it.
“Darlin’ you are a hassle and a pain in my ass sometimes but I’m always going to want you. I’m always going to want to try.” Michael cocked his head to the side and half looked back at his truck. “It would just be easier if I didn’t have to drive so far.”
Alex nodded slowly. “So don’t.”
Michael raised an eyebrow. “Are you breaking up with me again?”
“I have a new posting,” Alex revealed. “That’s why I got a week to come back here. They gave me ten days to move and I didn’t need the whole time.”
Michael took a step towards him. “Where are you being posted?”
“Altus, in Oklahoma. It’s less than six hours.”
Michael raised an eyebrow. “Six hours, huh? I think I could manage that.”
“Halfway would work too.”
“You willing to try again, darlin’?”
“Always, Cowboy.”
---
Michael didn’t recognize the number but he answered it anyway. He’d been on edge for a week, waiting and hoping to hear something, anything.
“Hello?” He answered tersely.
“Heeey Cowboy,” Alex’s voice was rough like he hadn’t use it much recently and he sounded high as a kite but it was undeniably Alex.
Michael sagged against the side of his truck. “You’re okay.” It wasn’t a question except for the fact that it was. A week ago there was as a news report of an Air Force unit that was attacked outside of Baghdad. Three casualties. Now, Michael wasn’t typically prone to being a worry wart but that kind of news plus a complete lack of communication from Alex did give him pause.
Ok, he’d been a nervous wreck but so what?
“I’m right as fucking rain.” Michael furrowed his brow.
“What happened?”
“Nothing. I’m fine. I’m okay.” Alex tried to play it off but Michael could hear the undercurrent of pain in his voice.
Michael waved goodbye to the other ranch hands as they passed and slid into the cab of his truck. “Darlin’ talk to me. What happened? Where are you? Are you still in Baghdad?”
“Nope.” Alex popped. “I’m in Germany.”
“Germany?”
Alex hummed. “It’s where the fancy hospital is.”
Michael swore his heart stopped. “Hospital? Why are you in the hospital?”
“It’s where you go when they cut half of your leg off.” Now his heart did stop.
“Alex-”
“Don’t,” Alex’s voice was suddenly sharp. “I don’t know what you’re going to say but whatever it is, I really don’t want to hear it. I just- I just want to hear your voice.”
Michael swallowed down the first five things that came to mind. He could always call Patrick later and grill him for more information. “I was working out at Foster’s today and this guy…”
He wasn’t sure what he said, really, But he talked for almost an hour, Alex making random comments occasionally, until he could hear Alex starting to nod off.
“Alex? Darlin’?”
Alex hummed.
“You coming home?”
“Yeah, Cowboy. I’m coming home. It won’t be the same, though.”
“I don’t care. I just want you here.”
“I will be. I’ll have to get out of here and do therapy and get fitted for a prosthetic but eventually I’ll be there. I promise.”
---
“You cannot be serious!” Liz laughed.
Maria shrugged. “Try it. He hates it.”
She saw Alex smile around the rim of his bottle as he pressed it to his lips and she smiled in response. It had taken months for the three of them to get back to this point. To where they all felt comfortable enough just sitting back and drinking and having fun. To being able to move past all of the lies and the secrets and the hurting each other that they’d done.
Liz leaned back in her chair until it balanced on two legs. “Yo, Cowboy!” She yelled across the bar. Michael stiffened where he was bent over the pool table lining up a shot but he didn’t turn around. “Cowboy!”
Michael still didn’t react and Alex started to laugh. Everyone in the bar knew who she was yelling at but Michael was too stubborn to acknowledge it.
Liz turned back to Maria with a huff. “He’s literally a cowboy, though! I mean he’s got the buckle, the hat, he literally worked on a ranch for years...he’s an actually fucking cowboy!”
Maria laughed. “And yet.” She spread her hands out. “He’s always hated it when people called him cowboy as like a name. Calling him a cowboy seems to be fair game but just Cowboy?” She shook her head. “He won’t answer.”
Liz shook her head, her hair swishing around her shoulders. “That’s dumb. Boys are dumb.” And ok so she’d maybe had a bit to drink. She turned to Alex. “Why is your boy dumb?”
Alex’s lips twitched like he was fighting a grin but Liz couldn’t understand why. She raised an eyebrow when he didn’t say anything.
“Alex,” she said as sternly as she could manage. “What do you know?”
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Maria glance between them. “What?” Maria asked, but Liz didn’t look away from Alex. He knew something, she just didn’t know what.
“Spill, Manes!”
Alex lost the battle with his lips and they spread wide in a big grin. “Hey, Cowboy!” He yelled. Liz whirled around in her chair in time to see Michael pop up and turn their way.
“What?” Michael asked with a laugh.
“What?” Maria asked, shocked.
Liz pointed at Michael and then at Alex and then back to Michael. “You didn’t answer me when I said Cowboy,” she accused as Michael walked over to them, Max trailing behind him.
“Yeah, and?” Michael slid into the seat next to Alex, his arm sliding up the back of Alex’s neck to card through his hair.
“Why?”
“I ain’t your cowboy, Elizabeth.”
Max made some kind of noise that Liz didn’t bother to decipher. “Really?” She raised an eyebrow as she turned to Alex. “He’s your cowboy?”
Alex shrugged. “It is what it is.”
Michael grinned and pressed a kiss to Alex’s cheek right, where his dimple appeared as he grinned widely. Liz barely contained her ‘aww’.
“I’ve never heard you two use pet names,” she accused. “You mocked me and Max for using ‘babe’, for chrissake.”
“That’s because babe is unoriginal.”
“And Cowboy is so unique?” Max asked, laughing. Michael shrugged. “Everyone calls you Cowboy.”
“No they don’t,” Michael denied. “They try. Once. But that’s it. Besides, Alex was first so he get exclusive rights.”
“Oh that’s why I get exclusive rights?” Alex laughed. Michael nodded and turned and whispered something in his ear that turned the tips of Alex’s ears red.
Liz rolled her eyes. “Alright, so Michael’s Cowboy, what’s Alex?”
Alex glared at Michael but Michael didn’t say anything. He just smirked and stole Alex’s beer. “Why do you care?”
“I don’t,” Liz denied. “I’m just curious.”
“You know curiosity killed the cat,” Alex warned.
She wagged a finger at him. “Ah but satisfaction brought it back.”
He shook his head and stood up, his hand grabbing at Michael’s collar to pull him up with him. “Unfortunately, I can’t help you with that. Thanks for a fun night out,” he waved at them with his free hand. “We’re leaving.”
Michael tossed a farewell over his shoulder as he let Alex pull him out of the bar.
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Help Me Get Out of an Abusive Living Situation
[12/05/2019; long post incoming.]
A while ago, I asked for financial help to cover vet costs for my cat, Kero. The gofundme fell through, we didn’t get much in any donations, and while we decided to just save Kero no matter what, it put us in debt. Add that to the rest of the pile of bills we’re slowly paying off, right? What else can we do. Here’s the problem with that, though:
My husband and I have been living with someone who used to be a friend for a long time. We’d previously been friends with this person around seven years. I got permission to also date this person, and a polyamorous agreement was met.
We at first lived in an apartment together, which the friend destroyed with cigarette smoke after I asked him not to smoke in the apartment. He smoked himself into pneumonia and had to be hospitalized. We then found out he’s so badly bipolar he had to be admitted into a ward for at least two weeks. He started medication, we blamed his blowups and disobeying apartment rules on not being medicated, we gave it a second shot. This friend’s parents bought a house, and the three of us rented it together.
Sometimes you don’t really know someone until you live with them, and what we found out was that he isn’t just bipolar, he’s just very selfish. Spoiled, and he’ll make you believe he had such a terrible childhood as someone with two rich realtor agents for parents. A massive, gaslighting narcissist. If all attention didn’t go to him, if plans didn’t include him, there had to be a reason explained for it. There had to be time set assigned for him later to ‘make up’ for lost time. He would stop doing basic decent things like clean dishes, leave dishes everywhere, do any kind of house or lawn maintenance, make the daily house environment so cluttered it was beyond stressful for me and then demand ‘discussions’ which would just be him arguing into a circle never settling until he was right. He’d lie just to make sure he ended up right. He’d make you feel sorry for him or fake being genuine about changing. He’s made me feel like an object. All his compliments are to tailor my appearance to his liking. He believes identifying a certain way just means you’re ‘broken’ and everyone’s ‘a little broken’. The Joker is basically his hero, if that’s any indication of him as a person, and he’s very proud of it. He tells me I don’t tell him what’s bothering me, then complains ‘you’ve only talked about work for months’. He tells me I have to initiate all conversation and that ‘communication goes both ways’ when he doesn’t text me for weeks. I get blamed and yelled at for not texting him. I have to be genuinely interested in all of his interests and goings on, but all my interests are boring or not up to par with his standards. He argues my husband’s needs don’t matter. This has continued for years. I have been trying to get money together to move since fall of LAST year. I keep dreaming of leaving in the middle of the night, taking my cats and my husband and having the money to leave.
This ‘friend’ asks me if I remember discussions from a year ago to state a rule I forgot that benefits him, but can’t remember my birthday. This ‘friend’ brings me strawberry-banana shakes while I’m weak and recovering from surgery while I am allergic to banana. I struggle or I’m in pain or I’ve worked a 12 hour day, but he wants attention, he wants to get his rocks off, and if I don’t it’s a two-day long, exhausting tantrum ‘discussion’ where I apologize a lot. I tell him I have TMJ, which is a jaw disorder, he brings me peanuts and salads, things I can’t chew. He fills the house with strong weed smell so much I can’t use three-fourths of the house except for my own personal room because I have asthma. I can’t garden because he won’t help me. I can’t even work on art projects in another room because he’ll ‘time’ me on it and expect breaks where he gets attention. I have never known a more manipulative, nasty person. I’m exhausted. I’ve lost sight of myself, my hobbies. I can’t take care of myself when all of my energy at home is spent trying to avoid him and his expected wheel of favors. Every day I wake up I have to know where he is in the house so I know to be light of step or braced to endure anything he expects from me that day. Recently, he’s had me listen to a music selection I just ‘had’ to listen to that ended up just being thinly veiled threats on my life.
Maybe if we had never taken care of Kero, maybe if I had just put him down instead, I wonder. I wouldn’t have the debt I’m in, and we would have the money to move. I could have moved a while ago, I could be free, I could start to feel sane again! Cook for my husband again! Work on my projects again! Rediscover me again, unwind. I can’t blame Kero for that. Everyday I come home, I’m just scared what kind of tantrum this ‘friend’ going to have next under the guise of me neglecting him.
Tomorrow 12/06/2019 he wants to have another ‘discussion’ and it sounds very final. That means I really, really need somewhere else to live and still commute to work. I don’t know if he’ll hurt me, my husband, or my pets. I know he’s already started things like stealing our food and putting my toothbrush in the toilet.
We need $2,500 USD. We have an apartment complex in mind that is nearby enough that we can commute to work and is cat-friendly. The deposit, the moving costs, sacrificing a few pieces of furniture in the effort to move quickly, cat checkups just to confirm they’re up to date on all their shots for the purpose of a lease, it adds up. I have a bad feeling if I announce I’m leaving, I have reason to believe I’ll have less than a month just for the sake of my well-being and safety alone.
If you can pass this along, please do so. If you can throw us any assistance our way, my husband’s PayPal is:
I used to be an active Dragonriders of Pern RPer, I have had personal fantasy rp projects lined up, Pokemon art I’ve wanted to get into, art commissions I’ve wanted to explore, my own hobbies, my own life, things that have meaning for me, all gone. I come home from work, I hide in my bedroom, lock the bedroom door, play a game for a couple hours maybe, and sleep. I don’t know how much more honest I can be here. I need to get out. We need to get out. Anything you can do to help would be appreciated. I can’t take care of myself or anyone living like this. I want to be me again.
#personal#urgent#help#gofundme#abuse#worried about my safety#our landlords are his parents so we are screwed#depression
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this came up on timehop almost a week ago.
I’ve known for years that I have depression. I had my suspicions when I was 17, but thinking back, I was showing signs at 12-13. possibly even earlier. I recall an old social media post from that age, maybe an email or a blog post, clarifying to a friend that I didn’t want to die, I just wanted to sleep and not wake up for a long time. I can’t remember much farther back than that. I was always an emotionally volatile person-- I felt things so deeply even at a young age. my first guinea pig died when I was 8 or 9 and it took me years to get over. I wish someone would’ve noticed sooner. dad had his suspicions too, but he also tried to tell my mom she was depressed and medicate her without her knowledge, so. nobody really took him seriously. he wasn’t wrong, but he definitely went about that the wrong way.
there’s no point regretting, though, I guess. I couldn’t have known what to look for, I was a child. my mom only recently realized that her mother has had schizophrenia her whole life, after my brother did acid and it snapped something in his brain. some of the things he did and said reminded her eerily of her mother. she couldn’t recognize depression in herself, how was she ever going to recognize it in me?
from where I’m at now... I can’t believe I got through feeling the way I did. kind of like when I look back on those few years of my life when my anxiety got so bad-- I had no idea how I survived it. I wasn’t sure if I ever could again.
I felt so bad before I graduated high school. there are pictures of my graduating class sitting on the bleachers outside, me sitting on the far left edge, by myself. either Charlotte wasn’t there that day or she’d wanted to be with other friends. I didn’t really know anyone around me. someone from yearbook pulled me out of class for an interview and told me they were talking to everyone who’d pulled some stunt or done something silly during the pictures (we had one kid who liked to dress up as Where’s Waldo, they interviewed him too). they asked me why, in every picture, I wasn’t looking at the camera. I told them I’d just been having a bad day, but I remember deliberately looking away during every one of those shots. I didn’t want a part of any of it. they made us sit for that picture, but I just wanted to be graduated already. gone. away from everyone there. I was so tired of being made to feel alone. barely opening my mouth all day, because Charlotte would leave me for other friends, and the few other people I knew did the same. I didn’t go in bitter; I probably tried a little too hard to make friends when I moved there. it took so many years of being forgotten and passed over to make me that tired.
that was also the time when I would forego lunch on A-days to go straight to my AP lit classroom. sometimes I’d eat there, sometimes I wouldn’t. I was tired of sitting with my friend who wanted to sit with these popular girls who were lowkey super rude to me for literally no reason- I didn’t even know them. I felt like I knew the pattern on every floor tile in that school, but especially the tiles in front of my desk in AP lit. I couldn’t even look up from the floor. and nobody fucking noticed. I mean, my AP lit teacher did. I’ll always, always be grateful for her. I’m just sad that I couldn’t be there for myself. I wish people were more educated about mental illness back then, that someone would’ve intervened. maybe it wouldn’t have gotten so bad.
when my anxiety got so bad I prayed that I’d *only* have depression again. it was so much easier to deal with. I don’t remember my depression being so bad my first two years of college; either it was drowned out by the anxiety or it actually did help to have good friends. but once I transferred and the anxiety dissipated, it came back full-force.
when I was in high school, I remember being afraid to look at electrical cords. I’d picture them wrapped around my neck. once during a bad episode I got up and wrapped the cord from my blinds around my neck and pulled, hard. it scared me so bad I fell onto my bed and cried harder. I didn’t want to die, I just wanted the hurt to stop. when I got into my car accident senior year... it was midterms week. I’d joked that maybe since I almost died in a car wreck that I’d be excused from my physics midterm. but I remember that night, after I got home from the hospital, curling up in the shower and sobbing. for months I thought I wanted to disappear, but when I brushed that close to death it was absolutely terrifying. I’d never felt so grateful to feel water pouring down on my back. I felt so horribly alive. I walked to my physics class the next day and joked with a kid outside, to maybe a few concerned looks, about just being in the hospital. I took the exam. a boy I rarely talked to came up to me, wide-eyed, outside my locker, and asked if I was okay. he’d heard from my brother.
sometimes, alone in my apartment in college, I’d picture the tau sigma and golden key honor cords I had tucked away in a drawer-- I wasn’t sure why they gave them to me so soon, but I needed a safe place to keep them til graduation. I pictured them wrapped around a door handle-- wondered how long it’d take for someone to notice I hadn’t been around. what a metaphor, too; strangled by achievement. grim, maybe a little too poetic. I tossed the idea, but the feeling didn’t quite leave.
the summer after I graduated college, I’d lost maybe 15lbs. I was too sad to get out of bed or even eat. A had given me his facebook password and told me to change it so he couldn’t log back in-- he was so tired of social media at the time and I understood. but later when I had my suspicions about a girl, I did something very uncharacteristic. I glanced through his messages with a mutual friend. he’d used the word “girlfriend”. he was red and she was blue and they were just purpling. I cried so hard I nearly had a panic attack and almost passed out on my floor. what was I ever? how can you be that close to someone and still be so easily cast aside? it took me a while to be able to eat Uncle Ben’s microwave rice again. it already tastes unnatural from all the preservatives, but the papery taste reminded me how much I wanted to die; how much food tasted like nothing and nothing felt good. I’d lie on my floor and cry, just trying to get the bad feelings out; I have vivid memories of Warpaint’s Today Dear paired with the blankness of my ceiling, the smoke detector and ceiling fan hardware cover breaking the emptiness. the feeling of damp carpet pressed into the side of my face, City & Colour’s Blood pouring into my ears.
I’ve given you more than I’m worth
I want to dig my fingers into the earth
I know there’s beauty buried beneath...
we were walking around DC that december, trying to keep warm while waiting for my mom to pick us up after a show that ended after metro hours. he told me everything that happened. she was a head case. so was the next one, I later learned. but by then it just felt like something broke. I just didn’t have the capacity to hurt anymore. I was at my last job, I was miserable, I was emotionally beat up. that was when it started to feel like being dragged facedown through gravel. even the little things I did-- volunteering, trying to work on crafts, playing with my rats-- didn’t seem to make anything any better.
I have a lot of memories from floors. I reblogged a quote yesterday about crying and noticing the paint on the wall trim; once you’ve been on the floor so many times it just gets old. the absurdity of it all. kind of like that time I was lying in bed, crying over my dad having passed (maybe a few months before at that point), and I suddenly heard my brother ripping a loud, forced fart in the other room. I couldn’t help laughing. what even is anything?
it was so hard to see any kind of light at the end of the tunnel. if there even was a tunnel, or if that just was how things were. I remember myself curling into the back cushions of the couch in my apartment in college, both wishing it were another person and feeling repulsed at the thought. trying to avoid becoming acutely aware of the quiet. I think even then I had some vague knowledge, maybe more of a rote script, that eventually it would be okay. one day, something would give. but I didn’t feel it. people could tell me all they wanted, I could tell myself til I ran out of breath, but I wouldn’t believe it til I felt it.
some days do still feel like I’m dragging myself through them. but looking back... it’s nowhere near as bad. sometimes I still get hit with the melancholy-- I’m not expecting not to, for the record. nobody can feel 100% all the time, it’s impossible. but I wish I could go back and somehow place this feeling in my brain all those times I needed it. I don’t even know if I can say I’m “back to where I used to be”, because I don’t even think I know myself without depression. it’ll probably always be a part of me. but sometimes I think about where I’m at and where I have the potential to go from here, and I just want to cry. but not in the bad way. it’s relief. so much relief.
there’s no one thing that did it. there’s nothing that magically whisked the dragged-face-down-through-gravel feeling away. I didn’t get out of bed one day feeling better. it’s been a process and it continues to be a process. but I think this was what I wanted to feel back then. just the ability to be hopeful. to feel like things might work out.
I did really have a rough go of it last year. I was already depressed as hell from being emotionally beat up by stupid boys, having to be stuck far away from friends, and having that miserable job. then I lost two pets, my grandpa, and my dad. lost my job. I can’t even hardly remember the last two and a half years of my life, if I’m honest.
maybe it’s my job and the demands it has of me, but I feel like my memory has been improving the tiniest bit. just a little. I still have a piss-poor sense of time, and my insomnia has been ruining my functioning. I don’t know why odd-numbered years have been slightly better for me than even-numbered years, but it’s definitely a pattern. 2013 was good, 2014 was good for the first half, then came the worst summer of my life and the roughest christmas/new years I’ve ever had, 2015 was pretty good, 2016 was rough, 2017 was good for the first half and shitty for the second, 2018 was straight garbage, and 2019 has... honestly been pretty good. I got over half the year off work. I got to travel. I lost some pets, but I got lovely new ones too. I had the time for crafts, the time to write. I met some really wonderful people. I got to volunteer, and I got a new job that’s showing me what work should feel like. it’s opening doors for me for the future; I’m even beginning to see a possible future for myself in animal care. I’m taking better care of myself, I’m determined to get to the root of my autoimmune weirdness, and I’m finally going to move out again. I’m going to end this year on a good note, even if I end up staying home by myself for the holidays.
I keep talking about it, but I think it’s worth talking about. I’m excited to see how much better this can get. I won’t get my hopes up, but I’m grateful for every little bit of improvement I make with myself. I want to be a mental illness success story. maybe it’ll be with me forever, but I’m learning to let the little things work. got myself colorful gel pens for work. I’ll draw smiley faces on notes. I wear animal-print socks almost every day. picked out patterns for scrub shirts that I like, that I can wear every day, that make me happy. bought little things for myself at the store, just because I like them. it doesn’t feel like going through the motions anymore. not all the time, anyway.
it took me somewhere around 5 years to see the light at the end of the trauma tunnel, and I wasn’t sure I would. I’ve had depression likely for well over 12 years-- I never would have dreamed that one day I’d be fighting it and very slowly winning. I’m proud of myself now, for sure, but I’m even prouder of my past selves. for all the times I found myself on the floor, I always got up. for all the times I was too sad to eat, I made sure I ate something anyway. for all the times I wanted to wrap a cord around my neck or claw at my own forearms or veer into oncoming traffic... I put on music. I turned on a show. I scrolled tumblr. I cuddled a rat. I cried it out if I had to. I didn’t turn to drugs or alcohol or self-harm (well. physical anyway). I’m strong as hell and I always have been. I’m grateful for that too.
#blah blah#thoughts#reflections#timehop has me feeling weird lately#weird as in. it's weird to look back and feel so different
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Faustian Bargain - Deleted Scene
A deleted scene from the beginning of chapter 12. I had to go to one of my back-ups to find it, and was honestly amazed by just how much I had written of it. There was just something about it that wasn’t really working for me though, which is why it got thrown out, although it is a lot more coherent than I remembered it being. I didn’t do too much clean-up on it, beyond cutting out the repetitive parts and changing some bits to be consistent (originally Nyx was supposed to be in this scene, rather than Cor, but that got changed when Nyx was written out of chapter 11).
He knows that he is being irrational, to be bitter about this.
There is, after all, so much else to resent, not least of which being how quickly they will return him to his owner. But for the sake of a country, that is at least understandable, whereas this is not. He does not need to be awake for this, for being herded into the throne room like the proverbial lamb to slaughter (except he is not quite so lucky because he knows what awaits him, and it is not anything as merciful as death). Regis could easily have offered him a sleep spell, the same he had used against his son without hesitation, so why hadn’t he?
He knows the answer to that, although he is less certain if it makes it better or worse. Because it is not cruelty or even negligence that stopped Regis, but kindness. To offer him some measure of dignity by letting him stand on his own two feet, but Regis severely misjudges the situation if he thinks that pride has any meaning to him now. Besides, the man should know better by now, than to think that Niflheim would let any of them escape the consequences of Noct’s desperate actions unscathed.
The throne room is not large, designed for security rather than ostentatious displays. But Niflheim has made the best of it, filling it with every diplomat who had come to bear witness to the historic signing, or more correctly, to bear witness to this latest humbling of Lucis. Most of the diplomats look uncomfortable, but some look satisfied. They remember how they had asked Lucis for its help, only to be abandoned as their lands were taken and homes burned to the ground. That’s why they enjoy this, even if this is a fraction of the human cost that they have suffered, but anything is something to those who have lost everything.
Even to those who enjoy his suffering, it is not about him. It has never been. Drautos may have asked for him, but the Empire’s interests were never about rewarding the general for his services, valuable as they are. To demand something (someone) so personal yet utterly unimportant, clearly the only aim was to hurt the royal family itself, and he is merely a means to an end for that.
The emperor sits at the end of the room, the chancellor on one side and Drautos on the other, while others lurk behind. Drautos is no longer hiding, of course. He stands at the emperor’s side in that molten armor, but does not bother hiding his face. Although they all know of his betrayal now, he can feel Leonis stiffen at his back, like a part of him did not want to believe that they could all have been fooled so easily.
Regis does not acknowledge him though, focusing on the emperor instead.
“Emperor Aldercapt,” one ruler greets the other, his words ringing loudly over the room. “I had hoped for a private audience.”
“Did you?” The man’s smile is as cold as his voice, and it is a wonder that his people could have ever loved him, when he so clearly revels in the suffering of others. “Perhaps you should have specified. Still, I assume it does not change the reason for your visit?”
He says it as if it is a minor inconvenience, that he has summoned what seems to be every diplomat between Niflheim and Lucis for the express purpose of bearing witness to Lucis’s humbling. Some do seem amused, having no lost love for a kingdom who left them to the mercy of the Empire, but most seem uncomfortable with the situation. They want to be here even less than he does, but despite being summoned by the emperor, they still have more choice in the matter than him.
“Of course not,” Regis replies because it is the truth. Whether before one person or the rest of the world, this is nothing compared to the choices he has already made. “As I stated in my message, we wish to correct past mistakes. Please accept our apologies, and a return of what is yours.”
“An apology?” Verstael Besithia sneers. “You think that is enough?”
“What more could you possibly want?” Clarus demands angrily.
The old man can clearly think of something, but before he can say anything, Izunia intercedes.
“We are reasonable men,” the chancellor says, despite all of the evidence to the contrary. “At least the princeling did not kill a few men on his way, which is more than can be said of the general’s pet.”
Regis flinches at that term of art, but says nothing even as Izunia and Besithia resume their bickering, something about that MT. It fascinates most of the observers, but is largely ignored by those who actually matter. The emperor looks bored, apparently used to the internal dissent to the point that he does not care that it is spilling over to the rest of the world, and why should he when he is so assured of his power over the rest of the world? Regis seems even less amused. As for himself, their words are meaningless because he has eyes only for one person as Drautos leaves his post, his approach marked by the heavy footsteps that haunt both his nightmares and waking hours, far louder than any human voices.
No, a part of him thinks, and he wonders why it bothers, when it was always so clear what would happen. But it is less about inevitability and more about Drautos, the fact that although he cannot fight it, he cannot stand it either. He cannot do this, not again, not for the rest of his life, and it is so hard not to break down crying. He can’t quite stop the soft whine that escapes from him, and the sound is enough to catch the attention of the onlookers. More than a few people laugh, his desperate fear something amusing, another example of Lucis’s weaknesses.
But he doesn’t care about Lucis, and Drautos doesn’t care about his terror because the only thing that matters to the man is taking back what an entire world has deemed his. It is worse than the last time, although he has no idea how that would be possible. The last time, at least, he was able to walk on his own. Now he has to rely on Leonis for support because he can barely breathe, let alone stand. The last time, only the guards had been witness to his humiliation. Now, every eye is on him. The last time, he hadn’t known what awaited him. Now, he can only stare at Drautos. Stand tall and push forward, Regis had told him all those years ago, but right now the only thing that stands before him is Drautos, and the thought of going to him again makes him choke on a desperate, involuntary sob.
He should be better than this, a part of him thinks. He should try to represent Lucis, or at the very least show them what they have given up. But in the end, none of those things really matter. Just as Lucis doesn’t care about him, he doesn’t care about it. The only thing that matters is that Drautos has lost his patience and is coming towards them, grabbing him by the arm, and he cannot help the terrified sound that escapes him.
“Let go,” the man snaps, and it takes him a moment to realize that Drautos is speaking to the Marshal. There has always been a rivalry between the Crownsguard and the Kingsglaive, but this goes far beyond that now, as Leonis glares at Drautos with open hatred. He also doesn’t let go, although he doubts it is for his sake, rather than anger at the man he had trusted to protect the king. But a tired nod from Regis makes him let go reluctantly, and then once again, the only touch he knows and may ever know is Drautos’s.
As Drautos pulls him away, he honestly doesn’t know how he manages to stay on his feet, rather than fall to his knees, screaming until he runs out of air. He doesn’t know what’s stopping him because it’s certainly not pride; perhaps it is the numbing effect of fear that blocks out everything right now.
(Or maybe it is the fact that he had always known it would come to this, that his time with the others would be temporary at best.)
“If I may plead mercy,” he can hear Regis say quietly as he is dragged away. “My son and his friends were responsible for what happened. Not Scientia. I request that you do not punish him for the actions of others.”
The Emperor shrugs, all of this so beneath his attention now that he has gotten the humiliation he needed that he does not care one way or the other. “It is not my decision, Caelum. The general is his keeper, so you should direct your request to him.”
For a split-second, Regis looks like he would rather bite off his own tongue than address the man who had betrayed them.
“Titus,” he says, choking ever so slightly on the name of the man he thought he could trust, the man he had trusted for so long. “Please.”
It is not clear what he is pleading for. For mercy, as he claimed earlier? For an explanation? Or for something far deeper than that?
Drautos, however, has no such qualms, as he turns to face his once king. “I see no problem with that,” he says coolly, as if he is being magnanimous. “In fact, I may even have to thank your son. Thanks to this, I believe Scientia will no longer harbor any delusions that he was ever anything other than disposable to your family.”
Regis starts to retort, but stops, looking defeated. It is difficult to deny the truth, after all.
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85 questions
Rules: Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.
I was tagged by @honoraryshadowangel thank you so much! Honestly i’m still getting to know people so tagging uuhhh @quillbit-reads @coffeebooksorme @happybibliosaurus honestly i’d tag more but it’s 2am and im tired sorry!
the last
1. drink:omg pink lemonade with tamova vodka, not good. Kids, drink expensive vodka it makes the world of difference
2. phone call: A friend at 1am last night via FB messenger because my dog escaped and was heading her way
3. text message: uuuuh i dont use my phone’s intrinsic functions ie calls and texts so last person I messaged via FB messenger was my friend Jack about an award ceremony we were both at
4. song you listened to: haven’t the foggiest, I didn’t listen to music today
5. time you cried: I was drunk and upset over a friend who committed suicide in April I believe, would have been in June
6. dated someone twice: lmao i’ve dated one person properly and wouldn’t go near that person again with a ten foot pole if I was at gunpoint so sorry nope
7. kissed someone and regretted it: bahahah march i got into a fight with him he was demanding and i don’t care for people i barely know demanding large swathes of my time seeing as im so busy but apparently he’s cursed so i haven’t kissed anyone since it’s awful
8. been cheated on: November
9. lost someone special: April, RIP Rafa <3
10. been depressed: It was last bad in November, guess why
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: June it’s the second time i’ve ever been that drunk I hate it so much I usually just have a can or two and float around smiley and fun tbh
3 favourite colours
12. Green
13. Lilac
14: Pink
in the last year have you
15. made new friends: oh god yeah, at least 100 new people in my life and i’d count at least 50 of them as very good friends now
16. fallen out of love: hmmm not love i don’t think
17. laughed until you cried: yepppp
18. found out someone was talking about you: people always talk about me i’m great ;D no but like... of course people talk about you? not maliciously probably in my case
19. met someone who changed you: Yep!
20. found out who your friends are: totally
21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: ahahaha yes a lot of them, we had a game of spin the bottle in November some time. I’m also a bit of a devilish rake by American standards but that’s just how youths in Ireland are.
General:
22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I know of them all but i’d say there’s about 30 i’ve never met in person or been introduced to
23. do you have any pets: Sascha the cat and his brother Charlie the Jack Russell!
24. do you want to change your name: I kinda instigated a change of it from megan jane to megjay but other than that nah
25. what did you do for your last birthday: went to a silent disco, had several complimentary jaegermeister shots, stayed overnight in my uni city instead of going home like i usually do, oh also a drama society quiz we failed spectacularly
26. what time did you wake up: this morning was about 12.30pm D: i’m bad in summer...
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: running around my neighbourhood and the surrounding roads and fields after my runaway dog in the lightning. I wish I was lying
28. name something you can’t wait for: To move to my uni city and get started on my second year of college!
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like two hours ago
30 has vanished? mysterious
31. what are you listening to right now: nothingggg other than the cars on the road
32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: huh. not that i’m aware of, they’re all tomás or thomas here.
33. something that is getting on your nerves: people chewing loudly, people expecting me to help them without asking or being roundabout in the way they look for help like just being sneaky
34. most visited website: not sure tbh
35. hair colour: blonde
36. long or short hair: mine is mid length it’s growing, I usually keep it short for practicality but im a poor college student who cant afford cuts and i have mad curly hair so my friends cant do it for me, so it’s gonna be long soon lol
37. do you have a crush on someone: kiiiinda? im suppressing it, it’s a Bad Idea.
38. what do you like about yourself: everything, i’m glorious
39. piercings: i’ve two in each lobe
40. blood type: No idea, I waited 4 hours to donate blood and find out once but turns out my veins are too slim and i’m banned from giving blood now :) :) :)
41. nickname: megjay, megs, meggy, nutmeg
42. relationship status: single af
43. zodiac: Virgo
44. pronouns: she/her
45. favourite tv show: I don’t watch tv,.... maybe criminal minds? i like Reid
46. tattoos: not yet!
47. right or left handed: right
48. surgery: nothing yet but i feel like i’ll need work done to my knees sooner or later
50. favorite sport: volleyball! i’m hopeless at it despite being a spikeball coach lol
51. favorite vacation: Denmark or London
52. favorite pair of trainers: The pink ones i stole from my sister ;)
MORE GENERAL
53. eating: nothing
54. drinking: nothing
55. I’m about to: sleep
56. waiting for: second year of college wooooop
57. want: sweets
58. get married: idk i don’t really want to but i might change my mind
59. career: stage manager or actor or playwright or something related
WHICH IS BETTER:
60. hugs or kisses: both, i’m a slut for human contact come kiss and hug me i love it
61. lips or eyes: eyes
62. shorter or taller: taller pls
63. older or younger: older
64. nice arms or nice stomach: love makes you blind ie you dont really care like im not gonna pick someone to love based on their anatomy
65. hookup or relationship: relationship
66. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker, im a bit shy i need someone to get me into my mad situations
HAVE YOU EVER:
67. kissed a stranger: yea lol i got to know him later though
68. drank hard liquor: i dont even know what qualifies as hard... jaeger?
69. lost glasses/contact lenses: no
70. turned someone down: yeah tinder is rife with... interesting folk
71. sex on the first date: nope
73. had your heart broken: kinda
74. been arrested: no
75. cried when someone died: yes
76. fallen for a friend: yep! it ended really poorly i do not recommend!
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
77. yourself: 100%
78. miracles: nope
79. love at first sight: kinda
80. santa claus: no
81. kiss on the first date: lol yep im loose with my affections
82. angels: nope
OTHER:
84. eye colour: blue
85. favourite movie: Kingsman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Remember Pennsylvania
I’m planning to write a retrospective of my ten years in Portland, because a lot has happened since I moved to Portland, both to me and to the city. So it makes a good bit of sense that as I’m just beginning to write out this look back, I come home to see my family, and remember from where I come.
Last night, I landed Pittsburgh and caught a cab ride at 8:30pm. My driver didn’t think I knew what I was doing, and rode me in some circles to get the fare above $50. I told him I knew he was lost and made him knock $5 off, which was most of what he extracted doing doughnuts around Bones’ apartment. “I just want one thing to be clear,” he told me as he took $5 off the total. “I wasn’t lost.”
For any tech bros thinking of moving to Portland and finding “cheap” housing: Bones rents a spacious one-bedroom apartment on the South Side of Pittsburgh, a lesser-developed part of town called “the slopes.” He pays $450 a month.
Because I fucked up and checked my bag with my wallet inside, I didn’t eat anything the whole day I was travelling. I texted Bones from a dying phone that I needed to eat or I’d be no fun to be around. He ordered me a sandwich from his neighborhood spot, a gigantic roast beef hoagie that I ate fast. Without asking if I needed either, Bones gave me a 22oz can of Pabst and some Tums. I graciously took down both.
After a few beers and some weed, we walked down an icy hill to the neighborhood dive bar. You can still smoke inside here, and it smells like it. The back door is the only door, because someone threw a brick through the front door and it’s boarded up, and shut. Bones and I play Run the Jewels on the jukebox and I very dramatically win two games of pool. We meet up with a friend of Bones who is a fashion photographer - Keith. Bones and I rap along with RTJ2 songs, and once we’re really lit we head back up to his apartment.
Keith comes with us and makes us some noodles with chicken. We smoke and drink and rap in Bones’ living room. We were recording a demo Bones and I have been planning for two years. There’s some fire, there’s some bile. We were up until 5am. That’s only 2am Portland time, but I dunno what the fuck Bones was on to be up that late. I’m an old man now, I don’t do that shit.
My uncle came to pick me up, waited for me to wake my lazy ass. 12:30pm, I left Pittsburgh for the hour and a half drive north, to my hometown.
My uncle and I are the most political, adventurous, and rebellious people in the family. We share old drug stories, stories of near-death experiences, and perspectives on the NoDAPL movement (he spent a little under a week at Standing Rock - his recognition of his privilege to drive there and create oil demand led him to having a deep spiritual awakening, which has him questioning some of his longest-held notions. It’s inspiring, if difficult, conversation the whole way home.)
The landscape in Western PA is so different than Portland - it’s been a long, long time since I saw a hill covered in barren trees. There aren’t nearly the number of evergreens here. The sky is a certain color of blue. As we drive, my uncle points out the window - he used to always point out hawks nests, or great birds flying, so I look to the sky and don’t see what he’s pointing to. “Trump sign,” he says. I look down a bit and see a large red barn, facing the interstate highway with a “Make America Great Again” banner. Uncle mutters about how people in Western PA supported Trump. “Makes sense to me,” I tell him.
My mom and grandma have marinara with chicken and spaghetti noodles ready for us. It’s much needed - my second meal in about 36 hours, unless you count the hundred-ish ounces of beer I drank as a meal.
Mom and I visit the convenience store to pick up a prescription. She’s been without medicine she needs since October because she’s in the Medicare “doughnut hole” - the position many folks are in when they get a certain dollar allotment per year for drugs, and take more drugs than the allotment. The pharmacist lets her know that her insurance won’t cover one of the pills she needs. She’s visibly upset about it. I stay calm and apologize to her (we haven’t won full communism yet, so I guess I owe her that apology). She’s been dealing with this shit for months. “That’s why I don’t see the doctor,” I tell her.
We leave without the drugs she needs, and she takes me on a drive across the “new bridge.” The Spring Street bridge was rebuilt last year. It’s a major development in a town where there aren’t many major developments. The old bridge was dilapidated metal, and was closed for years. The new one is stone and looks very nice.
Meadville is a funny, beat up old steel town struggling to find itself in a new economy. We drove over the bridge into Meadville on 322. About 15 years ago, the city built a sewage treatment plant about 5 city blocks from my grandma’s house, the family house. The bridge into Meadville runs right alongside the plant, and there were concerns back when it was built that people would see (and smell) a sewage treatment plant when they drove into town for the first time. You literally saw the plant right before seeing the “Welcome to Meadville” sign. So to solve this problem, the city erected plastic barriers on the median part of the bridge, which mostly-obstructed a visitor’s view of open sewage pits. They also sprayed pine scent into the air - my grandmother would often say it smelled like “someone shit a pine tree.” Well, now the plastic barriers on the bridge are gone - the city seems to have accepted that this plant is a feature of the landscape. I don’t think they’ve sprayed pine scent in some time.
The police station moved from its old building to an old armory building, closer to the center of town - Diamond Park. Diamond Park is shaped like a diamond, the surrounding the park are two streets, lined with churches, and City Hall, and now the police station. Kids in Meadville on Friday and Saturday night used to go on “cruise night,” which basically meant driving in circles around the Diamond. Back when my dad was a young buttrock enthusiast, this was where young people would blare their rock-n-roll and drink cheap beer. The city cracked down on this practice when I was young, as hip-hop culture started taking over the cruise night scene and rattling bass became more common that squealing guitar solos, in case you want to conjecture about the intersection of culture and race in small-town western PA.
The old police station is now a small pet food manufacturer, not the major one in town. Dad’s Dog Food was the big local employer; my grandmother worked there for a time. Walmart bought up the factory years back, so now it manufactures dog food for Walmart. My uncle, an artisan employee of a metal fabrication shop, has been retired for a year - for years prior, they would sometimes have enough work for him, and often not. My mom, a specialist in printing technologies at a plastics manufacturing shop, has been unemployed for four years following a health scare that nearly killed her and left her disabled. Last I knew of him, my dad was still working at a large tool-and-die manufacturer, Channelock. They make tools and stamp other brand names on them - Mac tools, Craftsman, etc. You can hear a banging most hours of the day and night, as the giant metal press pops out individual pieces. It kills someone every couple years, but nobody would ever dare question whether the jobs are worth the risk.
One of my childhood best friends sent me his resume to give him some advice. His position at a retail store was eliminated. He has a Master’s degree, a wife and three kids, a house. He’s brewing beer in his spare time and I’ll help him drink some of it this week. Sometime this week we will eat at The Whole Darn Thing, my favorite sandwich shop in Meadville. As I typed that sentence, I had to ask my family whether it was still open. It is, thank god. You never know.
Grandma is watching Leave it to Beaver. Mom is looking up recipes on the internet - she’s had more time to focus on eating healthy since retiring. I’m going to get a sandwich at Arby’s - roast beef, plus curly fries and a Jamocha Shake. We don’t have these delicacies so close at hand in Portland.
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