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#-saying goodbye to my sister WHO'S ABOUT TO GO TO COLLEGE??? AS IF I'D EVER DO THAT????????????
welcometogrouchland · 2 years
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The real biggest problem on planet earth is that I can't listen to music until my head explodes
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flowerthebeloved · 1 year
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i really dislike change. just in general. big or small, i hate being redirected or having something switch around my plans or taking the known and replacing it with the unknown. i also love my family. these are crucial ideas for anything i'm gonna say next.
my aunt's family (younger sister of my father) moved 8 hours south when i was about 5 years old. she had 4 kids at the time and would have a 6th, but i was friends with her daughter who was my age who went to preschool with me. i said goodbye to her in the days before she moved, but i remember her being rather nonchalant about it. it confused me because, well, didn't she know we wouldn't see each other again for a long time? i don't know if she knew or not but i do know that i was right. we didn't talk again for several more years, but we still got along well when we did. it's just that it was a rarity.
my sister moved out of the house we grew up in back in 2021, since she got married. i was 16, and while obviously i was happy to have my own room, i don't think i ever got used to being the only person who slept there. i sleep in the same spot i did when i was little except this time there's no bed right above mine. no one who tells me goodnight right before we close our eyes and no one to tell me stories she just made up to entertain me and no one to wake up in the middle of the night. she's only 15 minutes away now, but i often only see her every other week.
my brother hasn't technically moved out yet. he started college in 2019, a year after he graduated high school. he got into a good college with a nerdy major that fit him and eventually he got friends there and tuition money and now he's graduating in april. going to his graduation is going to be the second and last time i'll be visiting him at college because he's across the country. after college he'll be moving to a place that's only half as far away to take a job there, but still manages to be 7 hours away from the house we grew up in. everyone's happy for him, i'm happy for him. it's a good job. it's a very far away job.
there's this jarring feeling that comes with all of this which i hate. when my sister refers to our house as my house. when my brother would visit over school breaks and i'd realize it felt alien to have him in the house. when my parents throw out old furniture that's burned into my childhood memories and ingrained into my childhood photos and think i'm insane for being sad about it.
it's just weird, yknow? when the people who used to be a 7 foot walk down the hall become a 7 hour drive west.
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hellohanbin · 1 month
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Sorry to be so negative first thing in the morning y'all but I need to let this one out for the sake of my sanity
Disrespect me once and you are dead to me
TW: Hate languages and violent thoughts towards my damn younger brother (M21)
Man, I can't stand my younger brother (M21) so damn much. He's got this arrogance that just grinds my gears! Just because he goes to some fancy college in the city he acts like he's got the wisdom of a 50-year-old mf. I went to the same college as him but I don't remember I've ever flaunted my status as a student at this certain university to people.
I was so mad last night, I swear, I wanted to bash his head into the bathroom wall. Ended up sacrificing my fist instead, but didn't go hard enough. Should've gone all out, maybe until I broke a bone or two. Fuck.
Bastard says he doesn't want to be like our father but every day he sounds more and more like him. Fucking hypocrite. Deleted his number on my phone last night cause I couldn't stand seeing it there.
The thing that got me really mad last night was this family photo drama. Mom wanted us all to pose together in a photo studio, but I was like, no way. I've never been into having my picture taken, and everyone knows that. But mom and my brother just won't let it go somehow last night. And then he (my brother) had the nerve to tell me that since I was jobless and broke, the least I could do was obey Mom to make her happy, and guess what?? SHit triggered me like crazy.
This morning he went to the train station, back to the city where he goes to college. Before he left, he said goodbye to me and apologized for what he said last night which- fat chance. Not happening. Not forgiven. He went too far and shit is beyond repair now.
I'm not the type of person who is snobby. Just because I'm older than you, you don't need to respect me like you respect your parents. But I hope you know that I have feelings too like other humans. You fucker respect other people, your friends, our distant relatives and value their feelings but not me just because I'm your sister by blood and we're close??? What a bullshit! Shouldn't you treat your own family members better than others???
I can be mean and violent if I want to but I don't, especially to my family, to my friends, to those who I love and care about. I know so well how to traumatize someone in subtle ways (thanks to those people who had traumatized me in the past they're such good teachers) but I don't want to no matter how infuriating they are. I'd rather keep my mouth shut and walk away when someone pissed me off or direct my anger on myself. My disorders make me easy to act impulsive and aggressive can you assholes appreciate how hard I try to hold my anger back because I'm well aware your asses don't deserve to be hurt???
Fuck with being nice to everyone man. I'll treat people accordingly from now on. You being a jerk to me??? Don't expect me to feel anything when you're dying in the damn hospital.
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Birthdate Coincidenc & Names
Since it's Nov. 18th, I thought I'd share the story about the connection between to my beloved grandmother (and her twin sister) and my beloved child. I grew up extremely close to my maternal grandmother. We lived with her during part of my early childhood and then she lived next door to us. I was the oldest of her grandchildren. We always had a very special bond.
Later when she developed Alzheimer's Disease she moved into my bedroom while I was in college. I've always been open to the supernatural and had extremely vivid dreams that sometimes have given me great insight to the present and the future. When my grandmother passed away, I prayed fervently that she would visit me in my dreams to say goodbye.
I did have a vivid dream with her in it, but it was very brief and fleeting like she was literally in a hurry to get somewhere else. In the dream she told me: "Tell Erica I'll be there when she has her baby."
Erica was my sister in law and we were both looking forward to trying to start families in the next year or two. Honestly, the dream visit felt real to me but I felt like it must be a mistake. My grandmother had never even met Erica and I was like a daughter to her -- closer even. Why the heck would she be there for Erica and not for me! I was insulted. That said I did pass the message on and the reaction was pretty much "Thanks, I hate it."
Fast forward a few years and my brother and Erica are pregnant but I am not. However, I had the honor of being asked to be their Plus 1 at the birth. The day of the planned induction, I was closing up my work station and suddenly I got this feeling like there was a presence standing right behind me and I vividly smelled my grandmother's perfume. I had completely forgotten about the dream until that moment.
Sure enough, my sister in law had complications and had to get a C-section. I wasn't there for the birth after all, but rest assured I know my grandmother filled my duty for me.
Fast forward a few more years and my great aunt (the twin) also passes away. A couple years after that and I realize that the reason that my grandmother didn't pledge to be with me at my baby's birth was because I was never going to be able to have a child of my own despite it being my BIGGEST desire.
Eventually, my husband and I start the very long process of adopting a baby girl from China. I wrote a top ten list of baby names -- first and second -- as my huand and I were having a terrible time agreeing on anything. Notably none of the second names I chose were common. My own middle name is Marie after by beloved grandmother (and a whole other story). And I vividly remember telling my husband that I hated it because it is so common, but right as those words were leaving my mouth a very strong feeling came over me that our baby might be born on my grandmother's birthday and I immediately blurted out -- Unless she's born on Nov. 18th then her middle name has to be Marie for my grandmother.
As it happens (a story I've told before) a beloved friend of ours died right around the time our adoption dossier finally shipped off to China. In honor of him, we announced that we were giving our child his middle name and it meant the world to his family.
It tool a long five and half years before we were finally matched with a baby. Imagine my shock when the birthdate listed on the paperwork was Nov. 19th. I was torn. It was SO CLOSE. I even pointed out to my husband that due to time zones half of Nov. 19th is Nov. 18th where we live. But we'd already committed to the other middle name and he said close wasn't good enough, so legally Marie was never on any paperwork.
In the meantime, ever since my great aunt (the twin, who I also grew up with as was close to) died, I'd been having recurring dreams where she willed her house to me and it was filled with all sorts of interesting treasures and secrets that I was struggling to sort through. The dream was extremely persistant and puzzled me because while we were close, she was much closer to her own grandchildren and had certainly not given me her house.
Then one day I woke up from the dream and clarity finally hit me. The house full of so many treasures and secrets that always left me feeling connected was just a symbol. I woke up and asked out loud, "Is E the house? Are you trying to tell me that you sent E to us and the birthdate was to let us know she was meant for us?"
In the meantime, it had occurred to me that there was an adorable name that I could have chosen for my child instead of just Marie. My grandmother's nickname was Mye and she called her sister (Madeleine) Leine. Put them together and you've got a Southern sounding name: Myleen which also could have a similar Chinese counterpart Mai Lin.
After the epiphany I had with the dream and the name, I talked to little E and explained the situation and asked them if they would like to add Myleen (or Mai Lin) to their name as an unofficial second middle name and they loved it. They've used it as part of their name ever since.
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wisewidow · 3 years
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Hello, Your Parents Want Me To Have Your Babies
PAIRING: Natasha Romanoff x Reader
SUMMARY: Melina, my workplace’s neighbour, wants to set me up with her daughter.
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I'd only ever hear about Natasha every couple of weeks, when her adoptive father, the mechanic that owned the garage workshop beside my father's cafe slash bar, met up with my uncle for beers one day last year. Ever since then, our families have been loosely intertwined, friendly but not too close. Alexei fixed my mom's wrecked car for a cheap price, in return I let his youngest daughter Yelena have free coffees whenever she pops over.
From what my father told me, Alexei's entire family, including his wife, were all involved in the family business of repairing cars, except for his eldest daughter: Natasha, who turned out to be an FBI agent living in Quantico. Dad says they're proud of her but they miss her.
"(Y/N)," my brother calls from the kitchen. I put down my phone and find him balancing three plates of sandwiches and a salad in his spindly arms.
He opens his mouth to explain the orders, but I cut him off.
"Alexei," I say, pointing to the bacon and egg sandwich. "A salad for Melina. The tuna and tomato roll is Yelena's. Did they want drinks?"
Peter nods. "Four coffees and a large bottle of water, they already have them."
I ruffle his hair to thank him and grab the plates, balancing the third on my forearm until I can place it on a tray. I carry it outside, years of waitressing practice keeping it balanced, and head towards the garage.
"Melina?" I call. Moments later the raven haired woman slips out of the office and smiles. She yells something in Russian that causes Yelena to slide out from under a silver BMW, covered in black grease. Alexei appears moments later wielding a spanner.
They hound me for their orders, gratefully patting my shoulder and carrying their food away to their separate stations. Yelena disappears into the shadows with her sandwich, and her father to his desk, but Melina simply brightens and says, "(Y/N), have you heard? Natalia is visiting."
"Yes!" Alexei yells around a mouthful of bread. "Family, reunion! Grandbabies!"
Melina hisses something in their mother tongue. I laugh, and then ask if Natasha was bringing her kids, though I wasn't aware she had any.
"He means nothing of it, Natalia is focused on work at the moment. Too focused, I think. No babies. No partner."
"Tell her about her penthouse!" Alexei encourages.
Melina flaps a hand at him in irritation. "Yes, well, she has broken up with Bruce, the shy scientist from work. And then Sharon, charming field operative, also from work. And now she refuses to date. Because of work."
I chuckle nervously. "Where are you going with this?"
Melina smiles innocently. "Nowhere. What happened to your last girlfriend, again? Your father mentioned something about . . ."  The look in her eyes is enough to egg me on, though the subject is one I rarely speak of these days.
Rubbing the back of my neck, I say, "Carol left to travel Europe."
"Shame," she nods sympathetically. "You don't seem bothered. Are you not looking for a relationship?"
"Not actively, but I'm sure another troublemaker will find me. I don't have a good track record of steady relationships," I admit.
"Neither does Natalia!" Alexei shouts.
"Oh!" I say. "Does she want Carol's number? Or my friend Harley, she's not looking for commitment."
Yelena snickers. Alexei frowns. Melina chuckles. "No, no, Natalia needs someone she doesn't work with, and you need someone serious, and we need grandbabies before we die, since Yelena neglects it."
I flush a bright red. "Grandb— I'm— okay, first of all, neither of us have the equipment for that—"
"Neither did Dad," Yelena pipes up, referring to the fact that she and her sister were adopted.
"Hey!"
"(Y/N)!" Peter calls, rounding the corner. "Ned's coming over to pick me up, we need to finish our physics project. Uncle Ben should be here soon, can you manage the bar until he gets here?"
I jump onto the excuse and yell back affirmation, say a quick goodbye to Melina before speed-walking back to the cafe.
Peter leaves with Ned soon after, and Ben arrives at around the same time. I move to the kitchens while he takes over serving our regulars, as he's friendlier with them than me.
I work on making more sandwiches and tapas meals until four, when my shift ends. I kiss Uncle Ben on the cheek and head home.
The smell of paprikash greets me as I unlock the door to my apartment, which I guess means that my roommate is home. I call out a hello to her and head to the shower.
I groan happily as the hot water rains down on my front. I close my eyes and lean my head back, thinking over how strange the day had been, and lose myself in a trance of relaxation.
"(Y/N/N)!" Wanda barges in. I jump and almost slip grabbing the shower curtain to cover my body as I peek out at her.
"I'm naked," I hiss.
She ignores me and holds up two clothes hangers. "Pantsuit or dress?"
I push my wet hair out of my face. "Uh, are you bar-hopping with Vision or going to a family dinner?"
"Get together with some friends," she explains. "Vis, Sam, Steve and some guy named Bucky who I'm informed we're supposed to be pretending Steve isn't in love with, do you know him?"
"Nope."
"Okay, well, he's bringing some friends, so I'm bringing you. Don't make that face, you know almost everyone."
"I don't feel like getting drunk," I complain.
"Good! You can be the designated driver. Pantsuit or dress?"
Grumbling, I tell her, "Dress."
"Okay, thanks, you wear the pantsuit, be ready by seven. May the Force be with you!"
She ducks as I throw my shampoo bottle at her. We bicker and mock and tease as I pat myself dry and she changes into the scarlet dress.  While she braids her hair, I carefully slip into the navy and white striped pantsuit, and we move into her bedroom to make use of her vanity, since the sun's lowering position in the sky shone straight into the window while my room would be encased in dimness by now. I sit in the chair and she leans over me, brushing her eyelashes with delicate mascara.  We fall into our normal going-out-getting-ready rhythm, periodically handing each other different brushes, comparing lipstick shades, and commenting on our days. She tells me about her brother's latest shenanigans and I make the grave mistake of commenting on Melina's attempted set-up earlier today, much to Wanda's entertainment. The two had never met but they both shared the pure ecstasy that came with matchmaking involving me.
"Do you think she's pretty?" Wanda wonders.
"I've seen photos," I shrug. "She's a redhead. Yelena says she changes hairstyles often."
"That doesn't answer my question! Pretty redhead or no?"
"They were baby photos, Wanda! I didn't have an opinion on her looks past the Wonder Woman pajamas."
She hums, and turns to draw a small heart under my left eye with her gel liner pen. "It would be nice if you wound up with her, but if you do fall madly in love with her beautiful red locks and decide to move to Washington to marry her and have her babies, I will murder you. You pay your rent on time and you're fun and please, please do not make me move back in with my brother."
"Why does everyone keep bringing up babies?" I yell.
An hour later we're pulling up to the bar in the back of  a cab arguing about getting a cat. The debate of whose bathroom would host the litter tray is interrupted by Wanda spotting Vision through the window and quickly smacking my arm and hissing at me to hurry up and pay so she can sneak in and scare him. Unfortunately, I can't locate my purse inside my bag.
"(Y/N), (Y/N), go, go, go . . ."
"Wanda, Wanda, going, going, going . . . Aha!" I pay the driver and find myself being ushered inside before I can put my purse back in my bag.
Sam, a friend of Wanda's from college, ends up foiling her evil master plan by pointing her out as soon as she walks in the door. Vision, being a good sport, pretends to be startled when she yells "BOO!" in his ear. As she cackles manically before sliding into the chair beside him, I notice the only free space is by the pretty blonde woman beside a man with brown hair pulled into a bun.
"Oh, look who I dragged out with me!" Wanda exclaims, taking a sip of Vision's drink and making a grand gesture with her hands. "(Y/N)!"
I'm greeted with a chorus of hello's. I bow and grin as I sit by the woman and offer a polite smile. Steve leans over points to the brunet man. "This is Bucky, we were close as friends. As kids. We were close as friends, when we were kids."
Sam snorts into his beer.
Steve clears his throat awkwardly. "And this is his partner from work, Nat."
I get a closer inspection and my eyes widen in shock. "Natalia?"
"Her name is Natasha." Steve corrects.
"I thought her name was Natalie?" Vision frowns.
"She goes by Nat, who cares?" Sam shrugs.
"Natalia Alianovna Romanova?" Wanda yelps. "(Y/N)! You didn't tell me this was the Natalia!"
"The what? I— Do I know you two?" Natasha asks, bewildered.
"Not me!" Wanda says, and then makes a motion for zipping her lips shut.
Everyone turns to me. I chuckle nervously. "I should probably explain. Hi, I'm (Y/N), your parents want me to have your babies."
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aereres · 3 years
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For You, I'd Become Hercules - Auston Matthews
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Summary: After many years spent apart from each other, Y/N gets back to Auston, her childhood best friend, who happens to have held back a big part of his life from her. His son Tyson.
A/N: Here it finally is! The title was inspired from Evann McIntosh’s song “Yours”, which you should totally listen to! All credits go to them!
Word Count: 9,1k (a long one, damn)
Warnings: swearing, mentions of absent mother, single parenting, lying, heartbreak, mentions of hospitals and sickness (I think that’s all lmao)
"Y/N?"
You smiled as your eyes settled on your childhood best friend after all the years you had spent apart. "Hey, Aus," you chuckled. He closed the front door of his condo behind himself, making the two of you settle into the lightly dimmed hallway of his complex.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, letting his arms open to engulf you in a long hug.
"I promised you I'd move here after college," you said, smiling at him. "I got my degree and now I have a job here in Toronto,"
"No way," he chuckled excitedly, throwing his arms around you again. "I'm so proud of you, I know-"
The loud cry that came from his door made his body stiffen as he let go of you quickly before inching back inside his condo, leaving the door open for you. "This wasn't exactly the way I wanted you to know, but here we go," Auston huffed under his breath while he walked inside the living room, you following right in tow.
A toddler sat in the middle of the room surrounded by toys, wailing his heart out until Auston lifted him up in his arms, shushing him quickly. "Daddy-" was all the little one could say, wrapping his small arms around your best friend's neck.
Saying you were shocked was an understatement. You and Auston had stopped talking to each other as much as you used to because of his career, of how busy he was. But missing out on a baby was a big thing, especially if it was your best friend's baby.
"Y/N, this is my son Tyson," Auston sighed, rubbing the little boy's back as his body shook with sobs. You let silence fill the room as you looked between Tyson and his father, rubbing your forehead as you tried to get past the initial shock.
"Hi, Tyson," you breathed out, sending him a small, reassuring smile. "I'm your daddy's best friend," you whispered sweetly, wiping away the tears that streamed down his cheeks.
Tyson hid his face away from you, tucking it in Auston's neck as he shook with another sob. "He's a little shy," Auston mumbled, biting on his lip as he made his way inside the kitchen. "Want a cup of coffee before I leave for practice?"
-
"Mrs. Blake, this is my best friend, Y/N," Auston introduced you quickly to his neighbor, grabbing his duffle bag from the laundry room and making his way back to the kitchen, where you and the middle-aged woman stood. "Thank you again for coming over,"
"Auston, will you just stop thanking me? We've been doing this ever since Tys was basically born," Mrs. Blake chuckled. "Do you need me to make him dinner?"
"Uh, no. Y/N is staying over, and training won't be long today," Auston said, checking inside his bag for everything. When his eyes settled back to you, he sent you a quick, cold smile before bending down to kiss Tyson's forehead. "I'll see you later, bud. Okay? Be good for Mrs. Blake and Y/N,"
The toddler nodded absentmindedly as his focus stayed on the plastic dino he was playing with. As you looked down at him, you noticed the familiar traits that Auston and he shared, from the mops of dark hair sitting at the top of their heads, to the familiar dark eyes and the nose you had found so strange when you were a kid.
You didn't hear the front door closing or Auston's last goodbyes, too busy looking at the little guy sitting in front of you.
"So, tell me, Y/N, what are you doing here in Toronto?" Mrs. Blake asked with a small smile, sitting on the couch right next to the floor-to-ceiling windows and motioning for you to join her.
"I, uh- I just graduated college and I managed to get a job here," you said, playing with your fingers in your lap as you zoned out again, silence building between the two of you.
"You didn't know about Tys, did you?" She asked gently after a few minutes.
"Not really,"
Mrs. Blake chuckled sadly, her hand opened as she grabbed the toys Tyson handed her, the boy sending you a quick smile. The two of you found yourselves observing him, silence settling between you again as the little boy talked to his toys.
"I only remember the wailing from that night," Mrs. Blake started after a while. "I opened my door to understand what was the source of all that chaos, and I was only able to catch Auston holding the carrier with Tyson,
"He looked extremely scared, so I did what my motherly instinct told me to do and helped him out. He's never told me who the mother is, or what she told him that day," Mrs. Blake ended the sentence with a sigh, shaking her head softly. "He turned out to be a good father, you know?"
"I know he did," you mumbled, a small smile on your lips as you let little Tyson play with your hair. He seemed amazed by it as he let his hand card through it. "Soft," he whispered.
"It's soft, isn't it, Tys?" Mrs. Blake agreed with him. "But don't tug on it, okay? It's gonna hurt your new friend,"
Tyson looked up at you, his curious little orbs scanning over your features as he quietly took you in. He was quick to get back to his toys, not giving you the chance to actually talk to him, or even try to form a small bond.
"He'll open up, don't worry," Mrs. Blake sent you a sympathetic smile, squeezing your hand. You looked back at the kid, a soft grin on your lips as the light feeling of warmth spread through your chest.
He was all Auston.
-
"What?!"
Mitch's voice reverberated around the empty rink as he and Auston shot pucks inside the net, the rest of the team already in the dressing room.
"Y/N visited us," Auston repeated, getting rid of his helmet and letting his stick touch another puck. "She lives here, now,"
Mitch was shocked at his best friend's words but kept his eyes on the ice. "Was Tys happy to see her again?" He asked quietly, watching as Auston shot another puck in the net. All Mitch got was silence, not a word coming from his friend's mouth. It took him a few seconds to actually understand why his friend wasn't talking, and when he finally realized, there was nothing holding back his curiosity.
"You didn't tell her?!" He asked in shock, his mouth hanging open as Auston sighed out.
"I was going to, at one point," he admitted, guilt overtaking him as he pushed his hair out of his face.
"Matts, Tyson has been your son for three years. Three!" Mitch started reasoning. "When did you think you were going to tell her? After his fucking graduation?!"
Auston rolled his eyes, skating towards the net to pass the pucks back to Mitch. "I swear, I was going to tell her! I was just scared she would drop me,"
Mitch shook his head, letting the sound of hockey fill the rink as the two of them stayed in silence. Auston's guilt had been eating him up ever since you had unexpectedly met Tyson: the shocked, sad look on your face at that exact moment was enough to show him you had felt betrayed. The two of you had never hold secrets away from each other, especially if it was something as important as Tyson. He needed to apologize, in some way.
"How did she react?"
Auston looked back at Mitch with a sad look, a frown forming on his features as he shook his head. "She was shocked," he sighed. "And then I fucked it up by being cold as always,"
"Where is she now?"
"My apartment,"
"Listen, you're going to go home and talk to her," Mitch said, voice firm. "Make her dinner, apologize, explain to her why you didn't tell her..."
Auston took a deep breath, nodding his head as his friend pointed a finger towards him. "And please, don't fuck it up,"
-
The takeout Italian food you had ordered before Auston could have come home was sitting in front of you, the pasta you had tried to eat staring back at you as your best friend talked. All you were able to do was zone out, the new discoveries of the day still shocking you.
You weren't going to lie and say it didn't hurt you, the fact that Auston had spent all those years hiding his private life from you, the fact that he didn't even consider telling you, one of his closest friends, or asking for your help. It hurt. Bad.
"God, I still remember that time back in high school," Auston chuckled under his breath as he fed Tyson some pasta. "You were so obsessed with learning how to skate, and-"
"Why didn't you tell me about Tys?" You interrupted him, voice thin and shaky as you mustered the courage to speak the words that crowded your mind the entire night.
Auston's smile quickly faded, being replaced with a look of guilt as a thick layer of silence filled the room. "I- uh, I fucked up, I know,"
"I-I even went home, I saw your sisters, your parents," you said, your eyes glossy as you sniffled. "There was no word spoken about Tyson coming from their mouths,"
"I was scared,"
"Scared of what, Auston? You know I'd be by your side even if the world was ending," you sighed, standing up from your chair to recompose yourself, giving him your back. "I wish you could have just told me,"
A tear slipped past your eye and slid down your cheek. You compressed a sob, mentally slapping yourself for being so sensitive and rude to your best friend. It felt like everyone had lied to you all that time, leaving you unaware of your closest friend's situation. It hurt you.
"I'm sorry," was everything he whispered, standing up and pulling you in a tight hug. "I started overthinking, I thought you would have left me,"
"I could have helped you, Aus," you sniffled. "Hell, I would have dropped out to come here and help you,"
"We both know I would have never let you do that," he said in a whisper, carding a hand through your hair. "I could never be that selfish,"
He cupped your face, wiping the tear that had previously run down your face with the pad of his thumb before looking back at Tyson, who was playing with his sippy cup on his own at the table. "Let's go finish dinner?"
You gave him a soft nod, maybe even feeling a little better because you had been able to talk it out with him. The warm feeling in your chest, the same one you had been feeling back in your teen years too, didn't leave you alone for the rest of the night.
-
You looked out the window of your apartment, biting on your nail as the phone pressed against your ear hummed. The clouds crowding the sky of Toronto blocked the moon, not letting the comforting rays of moonlight peek and illuminate the city.
"Y/N? Is there anything wrong?" your best friend Aaliyah mumbled sleepily from her side of the line. "What are you doing up this late?"
Your eyes wandered to the clock hanging against the wall of your kitchen, noticing just then that it was well past midnight. You had lost track of time back at Auston's, spending most of the night catching up as you got accustomed to Tyson's presence. "Fuck, A, I'm sorry I woke you up," you muttered. "Some shit went down, but I can just talk to you in the morning,"
"I'm awake, now, and I won't be able to fall back asleep until you tell me," she chuckled. You heard faint sounds coming from her side, it sounded like she was leaving her bed. "What's up? Spill,"
"I, uh- today I met with Auston," you explained, rubbing your forehead with a long sigh. "And I surprised him at his apartment,"
"He wasn't with some girl, was he?" Aaliyah asked, her voice harsh as she reminded you of all the times you had come to her with a broken heart because of Auston's new girl.
"No, he-" you stopped in your tracks, trying to find the right words. "He became a dad,"
"Oh my God-" Aaliyah whispered. "You gotta be kidding me,"
"Tyson is three and a little shy," you chuckled, shaking your head as you thought about the toddler that managed to win a part of your heart already.
"Three?! Holy fuck, I'm killing him-" your best friend mumbled under her breath. "Didn't you meet his family when you went back home? They left you clueless about everything that happened?"
The sigh that left your lips was enough to let her know, making her scoff. "I can't believe it,"
"A?"
She hummed, your heart was beating out of your chest as you finally figured out the way you were feeling.
"I think I still love him,"
-----
You were hurriedly walking towards Auston's apartment, a smile on your lips as you thought of the night ahead of you. You'd received a text from your best friend when you were still at work, suggesting a movie night with him and Tyson.
Things had become better after you talked things out with Auston, he didn't hesitate to send you pictures of Tyson every possible time, updating you and making your days slightly better.
You were more than tired from your workday, but you weren't going to turn down a relaxing night with the boys, especially if it was Disney movie night. You were welcomed inside the warmth of the condo complex before you knew it, slipping inside the elevator to reach Auston's floor with a content sigh.
When you knocked on the front door, you were met with Tyson's small frame smiling up at you. "Hi, little guy!" You said excitedly, smile so bright your cheeks hurt. He silently grabbed your hand, tugging you along with him towards the kitchen where Auston was preparing all the snacks.
The giggle that escaped your mouth made Auston turn around, revealing the 'Cars' matching pajamas he shared with Tyson. "Oh my God," you gasped softly, your smile even bigger as you looked at the two of them.
"Well, good evening to you too, Y/N," Auston chuckled, slightly crouching down to hand Tyson the bowl of popcorn as he sent you a quick smile. "Be careful not to drop it, okay, bud?"
The toddler nodded, slipping out of the room, the soft padding of his feet making a small smile form on Auston's lips. "Hey," you whispered, walking closer to Auston. "You should have told me about the PJs, I would have tried to match,"
He laughed, the butterflies in your stomach starting their dance all over again as he pressed a hand on your smaller back, leading you towards the couch, where the Disney logo was already staring back at you.
"C'mon daddy!" Tyson squealed excitedly. "I wanna watch the movie!"
"What are we watching tonight, Tys?" You asked, ruffling his hair as he jumped up and down on the couch.
"Hercules!"
Auston groaned loudly, making his son giggle as he pressed play on the remote and started the film. He sat next to his father, leaving Auston in the middle as you took the only spot left next to him.
You tried your best to follow the plot, even though you had seen it multiple times as a kid, without letting your eyes close. You were able to get halfway through it: the songs seemed to lull you, and even if the movie was pretty chaotic, you found yourself falling asleep on Auston's shoulder.
In your half-asleep state, you felt Auston's arm slide around your waist, pulling you close to his chest. A small hand cradled your cheek, but it got squatted away in less than a second.
"Tys, don't wake her up," you heard Auston whisper.
"Daddy, she's pretty," the toddler whispered back, his voice close to your face as he studied your features.
"She is," Auston's answers didn't go unnoticed by you, his hand smoothing the skin of your waist as he inched you even closer. "But now it's already past your bedtime for both of you, so to bed you go!"
Your body was hoisted in Auston's arms as Tyson padded right next to him towards the master bedroom. Your best friend lay you down on his bed, rolling the covers over you before helping Tyson with brushing his teeth and settling him in his bed.
Your eyes opened slightly when Auston walked back inside the room, your voice groggy as you pushed yourself onto your elbows. "Sorry, work was rough today,"
"It's fine, Tyson needed to go to bed anyway," Auston chuckled, grabbing a blanket and pillow from one of his closets. "You can sleep here, I'll take the couch,"
"No!"
Auston turned around confusedly, a small smile on his lips as you stuttered. "I-I mean, you wanna share? The couch doesn't seem too comfortable,"
He chuckled teasingly, lifting the covers on the other side of the bed. "No need to be so nervous. We're friends, we share all the time,"
You managed to push out a fake giggle as his words opened a small wound inside your heart. Friends. That was all you were.
-----
Not a month after his statement about the relationship the two of you shared, Auston was directed towards Ottawa, ready to play a really important game. You had taken the responsibility of being Tyson's babysitter for the weekend to help Auston out: he had to travel away from home, and Tyson happened to not feel too well, so you let yourself get comfortable in the Matthews' household for just a couple of days to look after the little one.
"Auston, we will be just fine," you sighed into the phone, your best friend's worried voice coming from the other line mixing with the loud noises of the Leafs changing room. "Tyson just happens to have a small cold,"
"Call me if anything happens, okay?"
"Okay," you mumbled before ending the call, your eyes immediately falling on Tyson's tired body. He lay on the couch, lazily following a Disney movie playing on TV as he cuddled what you had realized was his favorite stuffie. He had been able to eat just a small part of his dinner under your watch, and the amount of tissues that sat around the two of you was concerning.
The game was going to start in a couple of minutes, and you were hoping that seeing his daddy would make Tyson feel a little better. You let a hand card through his soft, short hair, taking note of the whine that left his lips when your hand came in contact with his head. His forehead was burning, and you were sure he had a headache, too.
You weren't going to lie and say you weren't worried, you had measured his fever already once, and it only seemed to get worse. Tyson let his head rest in your lap, shocking you a little after all the coldness he had given you since the moment you first had stepped foot into his house weeks prior. He seemed to enjoy the movements of your hands in his hair, relaxing him even more and pushing him into a light slumber.
You switched channels, turning down the volume as soon as the booming voices of the commentators filled the condo. When the cameras focused on number 34, you let a smile paint your lips. Auston skated around the rink, getting warmed up with a small smirk on his face. Seeing him on the ice reminded you of the times back in your childhood, from his first hockey games when he was a kid, to cheering for him in High School as his number one fan, wearing his personal jersey.
Auston had been a constant part of your life ever since birth, you didn't even know how you could have gone a couple of years without him.
You were pushed out of your thoughts when Tyson stirred, a whine leaving his lips as he tightened his grasp on his stuffie. He let a cough out, and that's when you finally heard his labored breathing. As you let your hand graze his forehead, you also realized that he had heated up even more in the time being.
Your heart started beating out of your chest as the situation dawned on you: Tyson needed medical attention as soon as possible. Auston hadn't left Tyson's doctor's number, and you were sure that their clinic must have been closed for the night, anyway. The only option left was the ER.
You threw on your coat and helped a sleepy Tyson into his, slipped quickly your pairs of shoes before making your way to Auston's car, the only one that had a baby seat settled in the back. You were sure you had never driven that fast in your entire life, with a hand tightly holding Tyson's as you sprinted past cars in the busy streets of Toronto.
You made it to the emergency room in just a small amount of minutes, where you were escorted by a kind nurse to the pediatric ward. You were last in a small line of kids and parents, Tyson looking the youngest of them all.
You sat in a small chair waiting for your turn, the little boy cuddling in your arms as he struggled to breathe, your heart clenching every time he shook in his fever-induced dream.
With a panicked sigh, you grabbed your phone, pressing on Auston's contact and hoping he'd pick up. You were quickly sent to his voicemail, your eyes tearing up as you tried to muster up the words you were going to say to your best friend.
"Uh- hey, Aus," you sniffled, taking a deep breath before you kept going. "Tys and I are at the hospital right now: his fever got worse and he's wheezing. Call me back as soon as you can,"
You shakily put your phone back in your pocket, carding a hand through Tyson's hair as you looked at his sleepy form in your arms. A mother sitting in front of you sent you a reassuring smile, her kid sleeping against her side as they waited. Her smile had a calming effect on you, making you take a deep breath and close your eyes as you let the time pass.
You woke up to the sound of your ringtone a few hours later, your eyes quickly falling to Tyson to check on him before pressing the device to your ear. "Hello?"
"Where are you?" Auston quickly mumbled. "Excuse me- I just landed in Toronto,"
"Oh- we're still at the hospital, Toronto General," you mumbled, finally noticing you were the only ones left in line. "I think we're about to go in,"
"Fuck-" Auston muttered under his breath. "I'm in a taxi right now, I'll be there in a couple of minutes,"
He ended the call right after that, leaving you in the empty hallway. Tyson stirred, yawning quickly before whining out. "My head hurts,"
"I know, buddy. I'm so sorry," you whispered, kissing his forehead tenderly as your leg bounced anxiously.
"I want daddy," he sobbed, hiding his face in your chest and staining your shirt with his tears.
"He's on his way, Tys,"
The kid sobbed, wrapping his arms around you as he closed his eyes again, making you tear up. The entire night had taken a huge mental toll on you, and the fact that you thought everything you had done was wrong made things even worse. As if blaming yourself for not noticing Tyson's state as quickly as you should have wasn't enough, you felt extremely bad for making Auston think that everything was going to be okay when he had called before the game.
"And you must be Tyson Matthews!" The voice of an older man snapped you out of your thoughts. He stood by his office door, a kind smile on his face as his eyes scanned the still sleepy boy in your arms behind his thick pair of glasses.
"Yes," Tyson's small voice said shakily. He gripped onto you as you stood up to shake hands with the doctor. "Let’s go inside? Mommy will be with you all along, don’t worry,"
"I- uh, I'm not-"
"I'm here!" You heard Auston say from beside you, his breathing uneven after running around the entire hospital to find the two of you. "I'm here, Tys,"
"Daddy!"
"Let's see what's wrong with you, little guy. Shall we?"
-
You wrapped your coat tightly around yourself as you walked beside Auston, Tyson sleeping in his arms. The cold air of Toronto was hitting your face harshly, large puffs of warmth leaving your mouth as you watched your best friend put Tyson in the backseat of his car.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, shaking your head as you tried to hold the tears in.
"What?"
"I'm sorry," you repeated. "Tyson hadn't been feeling well the entire night and I still told you he was going to be okay, and-"
"Y/N, it's fine. Having the flu happens sometimes," he interrupted you, wrapping his arms around your frame tightly. "Thank you for taking care of him,"
He held you for a little while, relaxing against your body to let the stress of the night leave the both of you before dragging you towards the car. The streets were still crowded by just a few cars, even if it was well after 1 a.m., and you used the silence inside the car to wipe the stress away from your body.
When the car stopped inside Auston's garage, you quickly went to unbuckle Tyson, lifting him up in your arms so Auston could take care of his luggage. He was quick to follow you inside his condo, right behind you as you lay Tyson in his toddler bed. The kid seemed to let out a content sigh, turning on his side and giving you his back.
"I think I'll go home, now," you whispered awkwardly, biting on your lip as you looked at Auston. "You need to rest,"
"And you do, too," he mumbled, his hand slipping into yours as he pulled you inside his bedroom. "I don't want you driving this late. Just stay the night?"
"Auston-"
"Just for tonight,"
You chuckled as you looked at him, the glimmer in his eyes the same as when he was a kid. You let out a small 'fine', his smile so bright you were sure it could light up the whole room. He let you take the bathroom first, and you changed as quickly as you could into a pair of comfortable clothes of his.
You missed the soft glance he sent your way, too busy putting your phone in charge and avoiding his eyes before taking place under the sheets. Having sleepovers in the same bed had never been a problem for both of you, but you couldn't deny the tension that had built when you had first inserted yourself back into his life.
You were confused, to say the least, but not shocked. Your feelings for Auston would have come back at one point, you thought. You had seen him fall in love so many times, living his life without even thinking you might have felt a certain type of way about him. He had been so oblivious for all those years, it had pissed you off.
When you two had parted, you had rid yourself of your childhood crush. You had joined college, became busy with classes, and found yourself in different relationships before graduating. You didn't think your crush could have come back that easily, this time, your feelings were even stronger.
"Still not tired?" He asked, his side of the bed dipping as he lay down next to you.
"Tonight took a toll on me," you admitted, playing with the strings of the hoodie you were wearing. "Stress is still pumping, I guess,"
"C'mere," Auston whispered, lifting an arm up so you could rest your head on his chest. Your heart thumped against your ribcage, making you smile.
"Tell me something good, to make this night better," you whispered.
"We won," he chuckled. "I scored twice,"
You giggled, shaking your head as you closed your eyes. "Tys is gonna be so proud of you," you said mid-yawn, sleep taking over you. "Just like I am,"
He kissed the top of your head, taking one last look at you before closing his own eyes, wishing to dream about you on that night.
-----
Auston Matthews was going on a date.
He wasn't happy or thrilled about it, he couldn't stand those shallow dates at expensive restaurants anymore, especially if they were set by Mitch and Freddie.
His character had changed after Tyson became part of his life, he thought that he had changed for the better, thanks to his son. Dating, or having sex, wasn't as important as it used to be. His main focus was on giving Tyson the happy life he deserved.
His friends almost forced him into 'just one date' with a beautiful girl named Meghan, and he had been regretting the 'yes' he had given them ever since he’d seen the sad look on Tyson's face when he was told his daddy was going to be busy again. Auston wasn't ready to get back into the dating life, at least, he thought he wasn't.
When you had gotten the news, though, you had tried to conceal the pain with everything you had inside of you. Your feelings for Auston weren't mutual, the date made it clear. You had smiled and offered to take care of Tyson for the night, just so he wouldn't have to be worried.
When the night arrived, he dropped the toddler off with a thankful hug and headed quickly towards the destination, where the pretty brunette was already waiting for him. The entire conversation that night was about his fame and hockey, something that he had never liked to discuss during dates.
When dessert was brought over - right when Meghan started discussing her follower count on Instagram - realization hit him. He had compared his date to you the entire evening, noting how she wasn't as selfless as you, or how he didn't feel the warmth in his chest with her.
"Are you even listening to me, Auston?" Meghan said, her annoyed tone snapping him out of his thoughts.
"Yes, I-"
"You definitely aren't," she snapped. "You haven't been listening to me all night, I'm surprised you even showed up,"
Meghan lifted herself up from her chair, catching the attention of the few people around them as she grabbed her purse, ready to walk out of the restaurant. "Good night, Auston,"
His eyes snapped shut with a sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. He asked for the check with a quick hand gesture, trying to get out of the place as soon as possible, he couldn't bear the apologetic looks coming from the people around him.
He was sure he had never paid for dinner that quickly, and he breathed out in relief as soon as the cold air hit his face. He slid inside his car and drove towards your apartment to pick Tyson up, his thoughts racing as the streetlights illuminated his features.
Your building stared back at him as the butterflies inside his stomach intensified at the thought of you. Everything about the date left his mind as he stepped inside the complex, the flight of stairs seeming longer than it actually was as his heart thumped against his ribcage. What was happening to him?
You opened the door after a quick knock, Tyson in your arms as he slept softly. "Hey, how did it go?"
"She left because I wasn't paying attention to her," Auston chuckled. "Mitch should just stop setting me out on dates,"
Your heart fluttered selfishly as you realized he hadn't been interested in the girl as you handed Tyson to him. "How was he?"
"He was good," you mumbled, looking at the toddler with a small smile. "Ate all the food and watched some TV with me,"
"That's good," he whispered, cradling his son's head to his chest as an idea popped in his mind. "Y/N?"
The hum he got from you was enough to send him into a spiral, his palms getting sweaty as nerves got the best of him. "The team is hosting a gala in two weeks,”
"That's cool," you smiled. "Want me to babysit Tys again?"
He chuckled, shaking his head as you sent him a confused glare. "I'm asking you to be my date, dummy,"
Your eyes widened in shock, but you nodded your head in less than a second.
"Is that a yes?"
"What do you think it is, dummy?"
-----
"Wow-"
Auston's impressed words whispered under his breath were enough to make your heart flutter. He stood in front of you with one of his suits, the ones that were so unique you never saw anyone wearing them too. To your surprise, Tyson was clasping his hand, a bouquet of flowers covering his face.
"Well, good evening, boys," you giggled, kneeling down to gently take the flowers from Tyson's hands. The little guy smiled when he saw your face, giggling when you kissed his cheek. "Thank you, mister,"
Auston helped you stand back up, his hand in yours as you finally let your eyes find his. He had the softest smile adorning his lips as he let his thumb brush against the back of your hand. "You look beautiful,"
You bit your lip to hide the lovesick smile that formed on your features. "You don't look too bad yourself," you teased, walking back inside your house to put the flowers inside a vase, before grabbing your purse and locking the front door behind yourself.
Auston let his palm find your smaller back, his other hand holding Tyson's as the three of you left the apartment complex and settled inside the backseat of a dark car.
"Private driver, wow," you teased him as he helped Tyson in his car seat, a chuckle leaving his lips as he gave directions to the driver. He settled down next to you, his hand slipping in yours as he made small talk regarding the night, telling you who was going to be there and what the event was going to be about.
The car came to a halt quicker than you had expected, nerves making your hands shake as you saw a few photographers standing near the entrance of the venue. "They'll just snap a few pictures, we'll be by your side for the entire time," Auston whispered, making it seem like he had almost sensed your stress.
His hand stayed in yours as he opened the door, helping you and Tyson out as the photographers greeted him. They snapped a few quick pictures, and you were sent inside the venue soon after.
The place was large, beautifully decorated with chandeliers and large tables already set for the dinner that would have soon started. Teammates were introduced to you, same went with girlfriends and coaches. Tyson had quickly run away with other kids, and you and Auston found yourselves at the bar with Mitch and Steph.
"Y/N, I've heard so much about you!" Mitch said, making you giggle, especially when Auston elbowed him in the ribs. "Matts can't seem to shut up about you, sometimes,"
Auston flushed a deep shade of red, running a hand through his hair nervously as he pulled you closer to his body. "Mitch is just overdramatic,"
"Am not,"
Steph laughed from beside you, her manicured fingers touching the velvety material of your gown, starting a conversation with you about your dresses. Tyson's little squeals were enough to interrupt you, and when he ran all the way to hug your legs, a small smile painted on your lips.
"Daddy, dinner!"
His statement made everyone turn around. Waiters and waitresses were starting to carefully move around the tables with food, and the team's coach was making his way towards the improvised altar, ready to give his speech.
"You hungry, Tys?" You asked.
"I'm starving!"
-
You were sure you had ever eaten food as good as the one you had eaten that night, your tummy feeling full as they brought dessert around the tables. Tyson hadn't made it through the entire dinner, he was already sleeping in your lap, holding one of his toys close to him.
You had felt someone's eyes on you for the entire night, but had shrugged it off, focusing on the amazing evening you had been able to spend with Auston, Tyson, and the people close to them. You enjoyed your night, forgot about the unsettling feeling, and let yourself have fun with everyone. When your date left to sort something out with his coach and the team, though, the feeling returned.
You wrapped an arm around Tyson, holding him close to you as you checked the few people still surrounding you, seeing if they were paying any attention to you. When you gave the tables behind yours a quick look, you noticed a pair of eyes staring back at you.
They belonged to a redheaded man, his glare cold as he quickly stepped towards your table. You didn't know whether you should have left to search for Auston or just act as if you hadn't seen him, but you chose the latter.
Your hands were shaky as you let them run through Tyson's hair, trying to recompose yourself, but everything seemed to change when the chair in front of you moved, the man sitting just a few feet away from you.
"Hi," you shakily said.
"Hi," was all he said, his eyes scanning your face before dropping down to Tyson. "You're Y/N, right?"
You nodded quickly, tightening your grip on the kid in your lap as he kept looking at you. "I'm Freddie, I play with Auston,"
You seemed to calm down after his statement, starting to breathe again after what felt like years. You smiled at him, letting a thick layer of silence fill the air around you. He was the first one to speak.
"He talks a lot about you, you know," Freddie said, his voice deep as his eyes met with Tyson's sleeping form. "But, as much as he likes to hide his feelings, he's been hurt before,"
"I can imagine," you whispered, recalling the conversation you had had with Mrs. Blake.
"I just- kind of took it upon myself to make sure he's not gonna go through all of that again, as his best friend,"
You smiled at him, realizing all he was doing was making sure you weren't going to hurt his best friend, and Tyson, of course. You felt the little one stir in your arms, his arms looping around your neck and letting his face hide in your chest.
"Mommy, the lights are too bright,"
Your world stopped at his words, at the name he used to call you. The shock was evident on your face as your eyes fell on Freddie, who just calmly smiled.
"I'm sorry, Tys. I promise you we will go home soon," you whispered as you looked down at him, using the palm of your hand to soothingly caress his back. When you looked back up to meet Freddie's eyes again, he was gone, no sign of him inside the venue.
A warm hand on your shoulder snapped you out of your trance, and when you turned around, you were met with Auston's smile.
"Tys is pretty tired," you whispered to him, seeing that the room was starting to become packed again.
"We probably should start heading home," Auston nodded his head, pressing a quick kiss to your temple. You stopped him before he could leave to grab your coats, letting your hand find his as his eyes met yours.
"Thank you for tonight,"
The smile on his face made your heart flutter, and his hand squeezed yours for a quick moment. "You're the one I should thank, I don't know where I'd be without you,"
When you left, that night, you caught Freddie's gaze again. He smiled your way, saying goodbye to you with a quick movement of his head. He was sure, nothing or nobody was going to make him change his mind on that.
You were the right one.
-----
“God, I also need to start looking at kindergartens,” Auston sighed as he rubbed his forehead, leaning against the washing machine. “I’ll have to do that in the next couple of days,”
You let a thick layer of silence build between the two of you, wondering whether you should have told him about what Tyson had called you at the gala the previous week. “I’ll help you with it, don’t worry,”
He gave you a look of pure appreciation, his arms engulfing you in a hug. He let the comfortable silence be his way of saying ‘thank you’, pressing a quick kiss to the crown of your head before dragging you towards the living room.
His hand never left yours as he fell on the couch, tugging you along. You slipped in his arms with a giggle, his body welcoming yours in a warm embrace. His fingers drew small shapes on your arms, the feeling of his strong chest against your back making you relax into him.
“Do you think I’m a good parent?”
His words made your heart stop for a quick second, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Of course you are,” you whispered, turning around in his grasp to face him. “Tyson loves you, what makes you even think that?”
“Hockey makes me absent all the time, I feel like I always miss the most important parts of his life,” Auston admitted, his fingers tangling in your hair.
“Tys is so lucky to have you as a dad, Auston,” you whispered, letting your hand cup your cheek. “You might be busy sometimes, but you always put your kid first, no matter what,”
Your best friend’s eyes settled on something behind you, silence filling the room again. The hurt that had painted his voice when he first asked you the question had you heartbroken, and it made you wonder how long he had been asking himself the same question.
“It was really hard,” he mumbled, playing with your fingers as he started talking. “I didn’t know I had a kid until his mother left him on my doormat, it truly left everyone shocked,”
You squeezed his hand gently, looking up at him with a reassuring smile as he found the courage to talk about Tyson’s story, about what happened.
“I was having a hard time with the team, I wasn’t scoring anymore, I felt awful,” he explained. “The only thing that seemed to make me feel relaxed was fucking around. I met Jessica at a bar, after a game we lost. We had sex, I left as soon as we were done and went on with my life,
“Months passed, everything had gone back to okay, and I saw her at my door. She left Tyson to me, explaining to me that he was my child and that she wanted nothing to do with him,” at that point, your eyes were glossy. You could have felt the pain in his words, it had become so evident at that point.
“We took DNA tests, everything, and Tyson was really my son, there was nothing denying that,”
“Where did Jessica go?”
“I don’t know. It’s almost as if she deleted herself from the world. She doesn’t live here anymore, she’s not on any social media and has deleted my number,”
You let your head rest against his chest, your hand playing with the material of his shirt as you took in the truth. You really wished you had known about Tyson from the start, to give a little help, to be there for Auston during the hard times.
“You’re strong. You know that, right?” You whispered, letting your eyes find his.
“I’m not,” the sigh that left his lips made your heart clench. “I’m barely holding on. I’m broken,”
“For you, I’d become Hercules and hold your broken pieces together,” you whispered, letting your hand cup his cheek. “No matter how hard it gets,”
He leaned into your touch briefly, before letting his eyes meet yours again. You hadn’t truly realized how close the two of you were, your faces just mere inches away from each other as your breathing became uneven.
He was the first one to inch closer, letting your lips meet for the first time. The smell of his cologne filled your senses, and the feeling of his hands gently cupping your cheeks was enough to send you into a frenzy.
He let his forehead rest against yours, when the two of you pulled apart, your breaths ragged. He smiled, lightly, but he still smiled.
And it made your heart soar.
-----
There was nothing as important as Tyson’s birthday, to Auston. It was December fourth, his little boy was turning four and sitting right between you and him as all of you were squeezed in the back of a taxi directed to Scottsdale to celebrate the little guy’s special day.
It had become a tradition for the Matthews to meet up on Tyson’s birthday, celebrate it together before parting ways again, it was something they just couldn’t miss. You had been invited, something you truly weren’t expecting.
“Nana!” Tyson yelled, snapping you out of your train of thoughts. His tiny hand was pointing out of the car window, where Ema was standing. She was waiting for you by the driveway, Nala and Felix patiently looking up at her as the car pulled up near the house.
You helped Tyson out of the car since he was excitedly kicking around, wanting nothing more than to go hug his grandma. “Mijo!”
Tyson ran in Ema’s arms, giggling as she pecked his face with kisses. “I missed you so much!” She squealed, letting him onto the ground to greet the dogs when her eyes met yours.
She was smiling, so brightly you were sure her cheeks hurt. You hadn’t seen her in months, and she seemed to be so happy to have you there with her family. “Oh, Y/N,” was all she could whisper as she pulled you in a tight hug. “I’m so happy you could join us,”
You almost teared up at her sweet words, just as happy as she was to finally see her after all the time spent apart. Ema pulled away to greet Auston, who was standing next to you. Your eyes dropped to Tyson who was excitedly playing with the dogs as a smile painted on your face. Maybe that was where you belonged, you thought.
“Everyone is inside,” Ema explained, a faint smile forming on her lips when she noticed Auston’s hand mindlessly rest on your waist, pulling you closer to him. “Wanna head inside, mijo? Your aunties are waiting for you!”
Tyson nodded his head, gripping his grandma’s hand as the two of them headed inside. You didn’t realize you had been nervously zoning out as you watched them walk away, at least, not until Auston squeezed your hip to catch your attention.
“Don’t be so nervous,” he whispered. “I know this is their first time seeing us together like this, but they won’t change your opinion on you,”
He bent down to kiss your forehead, his hands running through your hair, knowing it would calm you, before Breyana’s voice snapped the two of you out of your trance.
“Enough of that, lovebirds! There’s a birthday we need to celebrate!”
-
Tyson had opened his presents, including the remote control car you had gifted him. The glimmer in his eyes when he first saw your present was enough to make you smile excitedly, kissing the top of his head when he rushed towards you to thank you.
By the end of the day, he was still out with his aunties and the dogs, his squeals and giggles being loud enough to be heard inside the house where you, Auston, and his parents were conversating.
“Alex already started to plan the trip to Cabo,” Ema said, drying her wet hands on the closest towel before joining you at the kitchen island. “Are you coming this year?”
“We’ll have to see,” Auston mumbled, his eyes looking out the window to keep an eye on Tyson.
“We?” You asked, smiling when his cheeks turned a deep shade of red.
“I mean, just if you want to,” he mumbled, his hand resting on your thigh.
“Daddy!” Tyson barged in, Alexandria running after him with a smile. “Can I sleep here? With Nana and Papa?”
Auston looked at his mother for her consent, being greeted only with a smile and a nod of her head. “He can stay in your room,” she reassured him. “Wanna stay in daddy’s room, mijo?”
“Yes!”
“You have to be good, though,” Auston kneeled down to his son’s height, ruffling his hair with a chuckle. “We’re only a call away, mom,”
“I know, Aus,” she giggled. “You two go get some rest, alright? We’ll take good care of him,”
“Alright,” Auston sighed. “Good night, buddy. I’ll see you tomorrow,”
The toddler pressed a kiss to his father’s cheek, before running towards you to hug your legs. “Good night, mommy!”
“Sweet dreams, Tys,” you shakily said, finally accepting the fact that Tyson wasn’t seeing you as daddy’s friend anymore. As you looked around, you were met with Auston’s shocked expression. He took a deep breath before saying his last goodbyes to the family, leaving the house with you by his side.
The car ride was silent. Auston seemed to be in his thoughts, his eyes focused on the road as he gripped the steering wheel lightly. You felt like things were going too quickly for him, that being called mommy from Tyson was just too many steps ahead. Your friendship had just taken its sharp turn, the kiss you had shared just a few weeks prior was still playing in your head. You just hoped it wasn’t going to end as quickly as it started.
“I’m sorry about Tyson,” was all he whispered, slightly shocking you. “He’s called you that many times when we were alone. I told him to drop the name, but I guess he just couldn’t let it go,”
His confession made your heartbeat quicken, a smile forming on your lips. “He’s- he’s called me that before, it’s not a big deal,”
“He has?”
You nodded. “At the gala,”
Auston chuckled, shaking his head as he parked the car in the driveway of a rather big house. “I was worried he’d overstep,”
“I was worried I was the one overstepping,” you admitted, chuckling when he frowned your way.
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” you giggled, the mood inside the car changing. He laughed, letting his head rest against the car seat. You planted a quick kiss on his cheek, your fingers intertwining.
“I appreciate you,” he whispered, turning his head so his lips could ghost yours. “So much,”
You kissed him gently, letting out a little squeal when he pulled you onto his lap. “Auston!” You giggled loudly, palms flat on his chest as you looked at him.
“What? Can’t appreciate my girl?”
Heat rose to your cheeks as you felt like a teenager again, straddling his lap inside the walls of his car, sharing sweet kisses. “You should really consider coming to Los Cabos with us,” he mumbled after he suddenly pulled away. “Work has been stressing you out, and I can tell. You deserve a trip,”
The tip of his thumb brushed against your swollen lips as you gave his statement a thought. You did need a vacation, you weren’t going to lie: work had been busy, filled with meetings and important deadlines. It truly had been stressing you out.
“It would be in a couple of months, baby,” Auston whispered. “Just give it a thought and let me know,”
You nodded your head, pressing one last peck to his lips before opening the car door and sliding out, Auston following your tracks.
You were still uncertain, but maybe the universe wanted you to be there. Next to Tyson and Auston, being part of their lives, part of their routine.
Maybe that was where you belonged.
-----
3 months later...
“You little troll!” You squealed jokingly, running after Tyson as he splashed water your way. His giggles were loud when you wrapped your arms around him, spreading kisses all over his face as the warm Mexican sun shone on your faces.
“Daddy! Come play with mommy and me!” Tyson yelled to Auston, who was sitting by the shore, looking at his two favorite people playing together. He chuckled, stepping towards the two of you with a smile.
“Show daddy what I’ve taught you, baby,” you suggested, pushing the few strands of wet, dark hair away from Tyson’s forehead.
The toddler looked at his father with a smile before lying flat on the water, floating ‘just like the big kids’, as he had said just prior. Auston’s reaction was priceless, his lips pulling in a wide smile as he gave you a quick look.
His fingers were quick to tickle Tyson’s stomach before pulling him in his arms, excitedly laughing with his son. “Look at you!”
“Was I good, daddy?” Tyson asked with a giggle.
“You were spectacular!”
Tyson laughed, pointing your way as he talked to his father. “Mommy helped me,”
“Do you think she should teach me, too?” Auston asked, smirking your way when Tyson nodded.
“Such a way to ask for alone time, Mattews,” you rolled your eyes, biting your lip before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. Tyson’s tiny hands smacked the cheeks of you and your lover, pushing the two of you away in a fit of laughter.
“No kissies!”
You shook your head, pressing a quick peck to Tyson’s cheek before letting your lips find Auston’s one last time. “I’ll go get some sunscreen on, my shoulders are burning,” you muttered quickly, pointing a finger towards Tyson teasingly. “And you, mister, you better come get your sunscreen refill in ten,”
“Mommy!” He pouted, giving you his puppy eyes you couldn’t resist.
“It’s gonna be quick, then you’ll be able to play with daddy and Papa as much as you want,”
You left only after you had gotten a small, resentful ‘okay’, walking towards the beach to reach for your beach bag. You looked from the distance at the boys, your boys, with a loving smile. You had never felt love for someone the same way you felt love for Auston and Tyson, never. Your heart belonged to them, in any possible way.
You wondered where you would have been at that point, if you hadn’t gone back to Auston. Maybe you would have been back home, still heartbroken over the things he had made you go through as a teenager. Maybe you would have been in Toronto, too scared to let him know you had kept your promise. Maybe you would have been somewhere else, far away from his life, living different experiences without him and the kid you had started to call your own.
You were there, though, living the life you had been wishing for ever since you were a little girl. A love story, a kid you loved so much, moments you would never be able to forget.
Your life was complete, everything you had asked for.
You weren’t uncertain anymore, there were no ‘maybes’, no ‘perhaps’.
That was where you belonged.
Taglist: @thirsthy-bitch @bellaguarneri @jakevirtanenn @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows
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Anne Rice has passed away today.
For anyone who has ever enjoyed a speck of my writing, please understand that this woman had a significant and profound influence on my writing style and how I parse the flow of story– amongst so much else.
From the moment my high school friend (coincidentally, also named 'Annie') slapped "The Vampire Lestat" down in front of me at the lunch room table after I'd been complaining about how I couldn't find anything good to read anymore, I....well, all the puzzle pieces of Writing that had been floating around in my skull since late elementary school suddenly snapped into place. Seeing and experiencing her example, as I then began to avidly follow the entire series and then some, suddenly ordered the clusterfuck of my mine.
The intricacy of her story setups (in her first nine books at least), borderline obsessed me in college. So much so that in the middle of a triptych re-read (her books tend to function in groups of three), I was so overcome with Opinions and Emotions About Said Opinions that I straight up skipped class, went to the computer lab, and typed up a huge email to Anne herself despite her website saying, in bright big bold red letters at the time, that she absolutely would NOT answer any emails/letters about the Vampire Chronicles anymore. Well, I wrote her anyway. And within the next day or two, nearly fell over, hands shaking, as I saw, sitting in my inbox, a reply.
She had written me back, and not just written me back, but a page and a half or so of answers, gentle chiding (I deserved it), and praise- she appreciated my letter so much she invited me to continue my investigation into the story, my philosophizing, my analysis, in a book of my own if I wanted- her blessing granted. I was floored. I was just a (very very) poor college student. I could never spare the time or precious energy for that. But I always carried the idea with me. Like a rain check. An IOU. Because Anne Rice had said I, me, silly dirt poor thing too in love with the story and characters, could do something like that with her encouragement. That to this day I still keep it all in my back pocket with the caveat "One day..." as I go on to write my own silly stories and stretch my literary muscles in this or that way.
Today, Anne has died. I am filled with unspeakable sadness. But this sadness is markedly, I think, different. It's a sadness over seeing that bright spot in the sky slowly dim out as you always knew it would, but while also knowing that it was never unfulfilled. Anne accomplished so much, and through so much pain and suffering that, while making her quite a bit grumpy from time to time (as extraneously irritating things would make any of us in times of distress), resulted in a life so rich, interesting, and perhaps even complete that while her physical presence may now be gone, her spirit surely isn't- that doesn't feel changed in the slightest. Sometimes great artists leave this world and you can feel the void left behind....I don't feel that this time with Anne. It's as if she didn't leave per se, but just transmuted into something a little different. But she's still there– there's no doubting that.
December 12th, 2021. 12-12-21. It's a nicely rounded out date. It looks nice written down on paper. I hope she also approves of it. I figure she's got so much to do now- finally seeing her little daughter, the inspiration for Claudia, again, and also her husband. So much to do! So many questions to finally have answered!! Literally, in heaven. What a shift! What a finish to such a life! Thank you for being here, Anne, and for taking the time out for me, and for all of us. Anne's son Christopher wrote today in his message conveying the news that as Anne's younger sister made her goodbyes, she told her, "What a ride you took us on, kid." Absolutely– exactly, that.
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meg91596 · 4 years
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Grew Too Fast Chapter 3 Scout's Birthday
Amelia:
I can't imagine my little baby boy being 16 already he grew up so fast. Its hard on a mother who honestly didn't think she would get a second chance at being a mother but more liek 4 extra chances. I have 4 healthy kids who I love to no end. Link and I are blessed to have our kids and how special each and every child is to us. Scout however grew up too fast for our liking. He's now 16 and just passed his drivers license this morning. Today is his 16th birthay and he is now a licensed driver, and honestly I don't think I will be seeing much of my baby boy because Link and I got him his first car, and a carseat for Elena, and carseat for Allison's baby. Scout says he thinks it's someone elses baby. But I am his mother so I know that it is his child. He's a teenage boy who just can't handle his emotions.
Scout:
Today is my 16th birthday and my parents got me a car or should I say a van to drive my siblings, Allison, and the baby in. They even got Elena a carseat for my car. She's probably the chillest child I have seen, but I do worry for my sister because she doesn't say much. Elena barely started to walk. She has several developmental delays unlike Charlotte (Charlie) Luke, and I have. All three of us don't have any delays but we have dyslexia. Apparently according to Grandma it runs in the Shepherd family. My Uncle apparently had it, Aunt Liz, Aunt Katheleen, and mom. I know she's proud of me and she's probably figured out that Annalese or Marcus is my child. Allison and I don't want to know the gender because we want to be suprised in case we decide to place the child up for adoption.
Allison is leaning towards adoption but i'll support her with what ever happens. We love each other and that is what matters. I can't beleive that today marks 16 years since Allison and I have known each other. She really is special to me and I can't imagine life with out her. She's my one and only, Where ever she goes for college I will follow her although I'm only 16 and setting myself short for colleges but I'd do it Allison. She would probably do the same.
Allison:
Today is Scout's birthday and I am suprising him with the gender of the baby. We had decided not to know if it was going to be a boy or girl because we were talking about adoption but I don't think I could do that as the baby deserves her parents. When I told Scout I was thinking about adoption that was when I was uncertain about his maturity for this. Our daughter is lucky to have both of her parents that love her so much even though she really was an accident. Sometimes I think that going back in time would help but then again we wouldn't have our daughter. Annalese really is going to be a lucky baby she is going to have parents who love her no matter what the curcumstance is. She's our little nugget who we love and honestly it would be really hard to say goodbye to Annalese when she comes because she has been kicking inside and got me to mature instead of being a stupid child. Well I was stupid enough to get pregnant at 16. I will almost be 17 when she is born which she is due in March 25th, and My birthday is April 15th. who would figure that you have a child by the time you go into your junior year. Scout and I will be parents in our junior year but we don't care.
Teddy:
I don't know if I agree with Allison for asking Scout to take responsiblity for her actions. But Anna is my granddaughter and I can't imagine saying goodbye to her if she is put up for adoption. When I first got pregnant with Allison I thought about adoption. But then I realized how wrong that would be for Owen to not know his own child. She's just a lot younger than I was. Allison, Leo, Adelynn, Louis, and Tom went to Scout's birthday party. He's the best boy you could ask for. Allison and Scout have been best friends since they were in diapers. They have known each other since birth and they love each other.
Ellis:
I can't beleive that my baby cousin as I always called Scout is now 16 years old. that makes me feel old except I'm 19 now and have no clue where that time went. It seems like just yesterday I was meeting Scout when Auntie Amelia came home with him. I can rememeber not being too fond of Scout because he was a baby and I wasn't the baby of the house anymore. I was 3 almost 4 when Scout was born and yet I should have been excited however I was not. But now it is hard to imagine what I did as a young girl because I love my cousin so much. I still can't beleive that he is going to be a dad. I know it was an accident much like Harry, and myself but I'm much older than Allison and have more education. Bailey went through the same except he is 21 raising a 7 month old child. Daisy is adorable. I don't think Zola is ever going to settle down she wouldn't even come for Scout's birthday party. I guess she's too busy to even realize what day it is or something like that. I haven't talked to her in weeks. Mom has and she said that Zola is now at Oxford in England. She went there to finish up but also because she will be finishing in December and was asked to watch out for Leo when he goes there in the fall.
Bailey:
Daisy and I came to Scout's party and we had a fun time. I got to see my sister Ellis, mom, aunt, uncle, and cousins. It was a fun time. I wish Zola had been there other than virtually but atleast she was there. I'm proud of my sister for all of her accomplishments kinda like mine with graduating as a single father, and with teacher certification in May. I will have a little cousin born by that time. I am excited but yet still suprised that Scout would make that same mistake. Yet again it's Allison Hunt we are talking about. She's a good kid but sometimes makes dumb choices much like her mother, and honestly my Aunt, and cousin. I remember when Scout wasn't even thought of and Aunt Amelia was scared to have a child because of my cousin Christopher that I guess would have been 23 this year two years younger than my sister and two years older than me.
Meredith:
I can't beleive that my nephew is 16 already. It seems like yesterday that he was born and now he's 16 and is a sophmore in high school. My own children it's hard to beleive especially Ellis because it's been 20 years since Derek died because Ellis is going to be 20 in 4 months. It's hard to beleive that but atleast I still have a piece of him here left on earth Bailey, and Ellis. They got me through some big problems so did Amelia, and Maggie. Scout and Allison however have their own little problems going on but hey they are teens they do stupid stuff like that but you never really know what goes on in a 16 year olds head.
Atticus:
Seeing your child grow up so fast is hard on a parent. Amelia and I are barely holding on for dear life trying to keep Scout to stay young, but that is impossible. He's not our little baby boy anymore and I don't know what we are going to do. I just got him a car for his birthday. He's such a smart, and healthy young man. Amelia and I really love him for everything even if Annalese was an accident. We will love that baby girl no matter what happens. Scout now knows that Allison is keeping Annalese. I think he's either scared or he's thrilled. Scout is a hard person to express emotions much like his mother. I love them both along with Charlotte, Luke, and our crazy yet young little girl Elena.
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join-the-joywrite · 4 years
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Women in War -- 2
All Maggie Maravillla ever wanted was to help people. She never imagined losing damn near everything when winning a war.
WiW masterpost
Chapter 2
1935
"I would've enlisted today if the war had gone on now, Buck, no hesitation. "
Maggie's laugh was long and had Steve not known how she meant her different laughs, it would have been mighty insulting.
Bucky grinned. "You wouldn't have lasted two days in training, pal."
Steve rolled his eyes, which caused him to wince as his headache protested. He pressed the ice pack against his forehead even harder. "Always a bully somewhere," he grumbled, "first Hodge, now these jerks."
"You just need to learn to pick your battles," Maggie said, smiling. "Or you could, you know, enjoy your birthday like a normal person."
"Not an option," Steve said, grinning at Maggie, "and aren't you supposed to be preparing for college? With Becky? In Cambridge?"
"Yeah, but I couldn't miss little Steve's birthday. Besides, you should cagar on Bucky. He brought me out to Brooklyn to see you. Becky has a couple of bonus quizzes tomorrow for the really -- desalado? -- the eager ones, and she really wants to excell. She's been talking about moving to London permanently. Apparently, the boys there are cute."
"How would she even know?" Steve asked. "She spends all day in your dorm studying."
"True," Maggie said, shrugging.
"All she knows is that American boys aren't," Bucky said.
"Ow," Steve said flatly, staring at Bucky.
"I actually had an orientation session this week," Maggie said, staring off to the side, "but it doesn't matter. As long as I keep my grades above average, I get to keep my scholarship. I didn't even expect to get in, let alone earn a scholarship."
"Don't sell yourself short, Mags," Bucky said, leaning back in his chair, "you're brilliant. We're proud of you for even going to college."
"It's hard sometimes. I know I've been here my whole life, but I grew up learning from Papá. Do you know how smart I am in Spanish?"
Steve smiled. "Yeah, we know."
"I actually have a hard time keeping up with you when you're mad, and I've been studying Spanish for like, six years. Tio Hugo is a miracle teacher, I'll give him that."
"You're just dumb," Steve said, rolling his eyes again.
"You'll make a fine doctor," Bucky told Maggie, ignoring Steve, "just set your sights on becoming the great Doctor Maravilla and never look back."
Maggie smiled. "Doctor Maravilla," she repeated, "sí, that's gonna be me."
The table was silent for a while. In the background, Evie could be heard chatting away from some friend of hers. The Barnes household was never truly silent. It was something Maggie always loved about Bucky's home -- her home, as Winnifred always made her feel. Maggie hated silence. Silence filled her own house on the days where her father went to work and she was left alone with her mother. Silence was what happened when the teachers caught her and Becky fighting with Hodge or any of his cronies. Silence was what happened when Angel had friends over. Everytime Maggie was subject to silence, it was around someone she didn't quite like.
Maggie hated silence more than she hated bullies. Maggie learnt English curses just to swear biligually whenever she was told to be silent.
So Maggie loved the Barnes household, where someone or the other would always be doing something. Sometimes it would be Allie and Steve arguing about who had the homework answers right. Sometimes it would be Evie loudly chatting on the telephone. Often, she could hear Winnifred and Becky bustling about in the kitchen, trying out new recipes and experimenting with bizarre flavours. Every odd weekend, George Barnes would make a loud noise in the garage, fiddling with some old piece of tech. Becky would join him too.
And very rarely, Maggie would hear Bucky humming to himself as he went about doing whatever he did.
"I ought to get going," Maggie said, wishing with all her heart that she could just stay in her home.
"Chin up, Mags," Steve said, "give it time, you'll be one of America's most sought-after doctors sooner or later."
Steve had no idea how right he was.
1939
Four years later, they found themselves in well into the midst of a world war.
Mi dulce Magpie,
I'm going to bind Steve to the leg of my dining room table and lock the table in someone's safe. He's heard about the war, you know. Do you remember when we had just graduated? You came from Cambridge for Steve's birthday. The little pedazo de mierda got it in his head then already about signing up for war. Now he tells me it's fate. Won't you write him a scathing letter, doll? Maybe he'll listen to you. I'd love to sit and write more, but Evie says she just saw Steve get dragged into an alley. Do remind my scatterbrained sister to read my letters. You're still coming home for Christmas, right? Allie misses your dumb face, doll. I hope to see you here at least a week in advance.
With love,
The better Barnes twin.
P.S. I'll only stop calling you Magpie if you stop calling me Buckwheat.
Maggie smiled as she folded up the letter again. She slipped it into her purse as she walked along the hallway.
"Can I help you, Miss?"
"No, thank you, I'm just here to visit someone."
The young woman raised her eyebrows at Maggie. "Ma'am. . . I don't--"
"I've been here before, angel, I know my way around the office. Mr Edwards' is straight down, right?"
"Er, yes. Uhm, good luck, ma'am."
Maggie never used the endearment 'angel' to mean anything other than 'estúpida mierda'. Making sure the letter she'd read thrice now was still tucked into her little bag, Maggie walked along until she came up on the open office out side Mr Edwards'.
"Rebecca Latimer Barnes, we'll be back after New Year's. We're not going off to war!"
The group of young women dispersed, allowing Maggie a glimpse of the woman that had previously been in the centre of the laughs and smiles. "Felicidades por el engagement, Peggy. Beck, we're gonna miss the plane."
Peggy Carter smiled. "Gracias, Maggie. Do say hello to everyone at home from me."
"You should send a photo, Pegs," Becky said, leaning on Peggy's desk, "although it's a pity Fred proposed. I was sure Buck would've liked to take you out."
Maggie laughed, despite being upset that Becky still hadn't left the office. "If that were true, we'd be offering Peggy condolences. Vamanos, Beck, your bag's already in the car."
Becky sighed dramatically. "I'll see you in the new year, ladies. Let's go, Dr Maravilla."
"Almost a doctor," Maggie said as she waved goodbye to the Bletchley Park women and left, Becky trailing behind.
"Back to work, ladies," Mr Edwards said as he opened his office door. "Miss Carter, a word?"
"Of course, Mr Edwards."
"Has Miss Barnes left already?"
"Just missed her, sir."
"Pity. Remind me to speak to her when she returns in the new year."
///////////////
Becky pulled her suitcase along behind her. "How'd you even meet the guy? And what are you doing for him that he's paying for both your education and our visits home?"
Maggie frowned as she thought back. "I was waiting tables in our eleventh year, you remember? He stopped by and I waited on him. He was a mess -- he still is -- and his food and drink fell everywhere. Last time I cursed like that was when that perra Lucy Kinney stole my shift at the hospital and I had to work the graveyard shift."
"You know, given that you work part-time in a hospital, I really wouldn't suggest calling it the graveyard shift."
Maggie smiled. "Very funny, Becks. Anyway, so he's surprisingly super apologetic about it. Turns out he was stressed over some college exams or something and long story short, we got to talking about college and he felt really bad about ruining my shift at the diner that he offered to pay for my college tuition -- provided I didn't slack off or things like that."
Becky shook her head. "I don't get it. Why? Why would someone just randomly decide to pay for someone else's tuition?"
"Well, he comes from a rich family."
"That makes it all the more unlikely that he'd be so generous."
"Look, Becks, I'm not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth. If the man sees potential in me and is willing to pay for college, I'm grabbing it with both hands and hanging on until I graduate. You and me both know my father could never afford getting me into medicine."
"Your mom could."
"Yeah, but who needs her help? I'm actually going to see her before I come by your place."
"I thought you were meeting your darling benefactor?"
"I am. I'm seeing them both today and then I'll come home. Do me a favour and fetch my father?"
"Sure, no problem. Did your darling benefactor call you a cab?"
"I called you a cab." Both women stopped walking at the new voice. "And we all know I'm not Maggie's darling benefactor."
"Howard," Maggie greeted, "good to see you."
Howard dipped his head slightly. "Mags. Mr Jarvis will take your bags to Ms Barnes' taxi, if you'd like?"
Maggie smiled at the young man following Howard. "Hola, Eddie, como estas?"
Jarvis smiled back. "Bien, gracias, Mags. ¿Y usted mismo?"
"Always a pleasure, Eddie. Thank you so much."
Jarvis nodded as he took hold of Maggie's suitcase and gestured for Becky to walk with him.
"So, darling benefactor?"
"She's insane. Leave it to the great Becky Barnes to see through the rosiest of rose-lenses."
"Isn't she a really good codebreaker?"
"Surprisingly, yes. She's actually one of two top codebreakers at Bletchley Park. Our friend Peggy is the other."
"Peggy . . . that wouldn't be Margaret Carter, would it?"
"It would. What a small world, Mr Stark."
"Indeed, Dr Maravilla, it's a very small world. Come on, we have business to discuss."
"Business?" Maggie echoed with a frown as she placed her hands around the arm Howard offered her.
"Business," Howard repeated with a nod, pulling Maggie through the busy airport.
///////////////
"Hypothetically? No. I went to Cambridge to study and become a doctor. I wouldn't want any part in your whimsical ideas, Howard."
"What if the situation weren't hypothetical?"
Maggie sipped her tea slowly. "No. Besides, you can't make superheroes. ¡Eso es ridículo! Maybe when you've got proof this . . . super soldier thing . . . will work, I will consider helping you out."
"Maggie, hear me out, you're England's finest and you're not even qualified yet. How they hate to say your name, because you're better than them all. I could really use your help on this."
"This was never hypothetical to begin with, was it?"
Meekly, Howard shook his head. "No. Look, there's this German doctor who's developing a formula. If I can just persuade some people upstairs to go after the doctor, we could have that formula. We could win the war before it's fully begun."
"I'm sorry, Howard. I truly appreciate all you've done for me, but this isn't the way to repay you. I can't understake . . . missions . . . without any solid proof that I'm doing something right. I'm really sorry, Howard, truly."
Howard nodded as Maggie gathered her things and stood up.
"What about a nurse?"
Howard's voice stopped Maggie. She stood behind his chair, staring at the door. Howard stared at her vacant seat.
"I wanted to be a doctor, Howard."
"You'll have to climb that ladder, Maggie, and you can either work as a nurse in that shitty hospital and sit through years and years of college until they finally think a young Hispanic woman is capable of being a fully-fledged doctor, or you can start as a base camp nurse and actually put your skills to use as you climb the ranks. Your skill is beyond the average nurse, Mags, and you'll get everyone to call you a doctor within months at best."
Maggie squinted at the door.
"Think about it," Howard said, stirring his cup. "I expect an answer by New Year's. Enjoy the Christmas week, Miss Maravilla."
"Likewise, Mr Stark," Maggie said as she left, realising just how much she loved being called Dr Maravilla.
///////////////
Bucky was waiting on the front steps when Maggie got out of the cab. She stood behind the front gate and smiled. "How long have you been sitting there, Buckwheat?"
"Not long, Magpie. How was your meeting with your mother?"
Maggie's expression twisted as she pushed open the gate and walked up to the steps. "I didn't go see her. I was with Howard all this time. He offered me a job."
"That's brilliant, Mags!"
"Sí, but not the job I want. Bucky, I want to be a doctor. Howard wants to make me an army nurse."
Bucky turned his head to look at the woman sitting beside him. "Why do you want to be a doctor, Maggie?"
"I want to help people, I want to fix them, I want to make them better."
"Well, doll, then maybe being an army nurse is more suited to you than studying forever at a college that doesn't really want it's girls to go out there."
"I don't know, Buck. I think I can be one of the lucky ones. I . . . just don't know."
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just-jisela · 5 years
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after my parents divorced i never thought i'd ever have to go through that pain again, but here we are.
my step mom left. she's been in my life since i was 10, i'm about to turn 18. she basically raised me and my sisters, she gave our lives structure, she set up a schedule, she made sure we bathe, that we ate 3 healthy meals a day, she was there for me whenever my mom left to find herself, she was there whenever my mental health got rlly bad, she was the first person who listened to me, who helped me talk to a therapist, who helped me get the meds i needed, she helped me through school, she gave me dreams of college, she took me out to the city to do new things whenever my dad was always working. she used to always take us out to get ice cream, but she stopped whenever she started that diet. she stopped everything whenever she started that damn diet. i wonder how long she knew she was gonna leave us. i wonder how long it took her to plan all this. i wonder if she'll miss me. i wonder if i ever meant anything to her. bc she meant so damn much to me.
the worst part is she took everything, so now our world is falling apart and she's nowhere to be seen. i bought her a fucking mother's day gift, and idk what to do with it, i was so excited to give it to her. oh my god, she was my MOM. oh god, i can't do this, i can't go through this again, i'm so scared. i didn't know that the last time i saw her was gonna be the very last time. i didn't get to say goodbye! why does everyone fucking leave!
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