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#(literally faced with the trolley problem)
shuckstruck · 5 months
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A little sketch of ramiel’s father, Valor. Life dealt him terrible situation after terrible circumstance and then chewed him up and spit him out with nothing but the memory of happier times.
This song always comes to mind when I think of him. Two people singing it too makes me [old man gripping chest in pain]
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wuzhere75 · 1 year
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Back on my shit
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apas-95 · 2 years
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The human species has evolved to look to each other's faces for essential communication purposes, it's never not going to be outlandish and destructive to mask in most contexts. Masking denies me the ability to emotionally regulate, to understand others and be understood by them. You don't know what I've been through and how much this is setting me. There is no number I wouldn't kill for the right to have a face. I depend on it.
There is no number I wouldn't kill for the right to have a face.
I mean, you said it yourself, I guess. You're willing to kill people for some improvement in your social interactions. I think that's an unacceptable tradeoff - and that you'll have a much harder time communicating with people when you're drowning in your own blood. It's fairly hard to talk or facially emote around an oxygen tube and ventilator, so presumably once you get to that point you'll refuse it, and then also find that it's incredibly difficult to communicate with people once you're dead.
Or, I suppose you figure that it's only others that will die from your rejection of masks, and, presumably, not the others you communicate with, either? In any case, since I can't see your face right now, over the text of this letter, you may as well die.
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spacedace · 8 months
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Reluctant War AU Part 3
Part 1 Part 2
More of the brain worm that has taken me over, gonna probably post it to Ao3 here before too long. Already got another part started and so many ideas for additional stuff, someone please send help I've been consumed by this thing lol
Sorry if Waller seems out of character, outside of fandom I'm mostly familiar with her through Justice League the animated show & Justice League: Unlimited and her vibe there has always struck me as "deeply incredibly unlikable character that also kind of has a point but also has done so much fucked up shit in the name of her goals that you don't really care about her point anymore." So you know, complicated lol. If she's completely unrecognizable let me know, but I'm hoping she feels at least somewhat like Waller.
Forgot to say this in the last update, but still feel free to use all this as an overly long prompt if yall want. Literally anything I throw out to the void should be treated as a prompt lol If there's anything at all interesting to you in any of this nonsense go for it <3 <3 <3
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Amanda Waller was someone who did what needed to be done.
Ruthless, heartless, vicious, cruel.
She’d been called it all. Wore the words thrown as insults as a badges of pride and valor. Because at the end of the day, when it came to the problems she was given to face, the issues she was meant to solve, those words meant she’d done what others had been too squeamish or cowardly to do. Life was a never ending slog of trolley problems and she the only one unshakable enough to pull the levers that needed pulling.
It wasn’t so simple as a matter of greater good.
Greater good was what the weak willed muttered to themselves after having feelings over doing the bare minimum. A justification used by people on all sides to do what they wanted with fractured, faulty logic thrown around like truth was a thing immutable. To assuage their guilt when they were forced to make a call they didn’t want to.
It wasn’t a matter of greater good. It was a matter of preservation. Of protection. Of digging through the filth to find the threats skittering beneath and crush them with ruthless abandon. Of facing a god and not blinking because if you did it could cost the world.
Of doing what needed to be done, no matter how underhanded or atrocious it was.
Hands dirty.
Hands red.
Hands wrapped tight around the throat of something that could threaten to destroy it all.
When the Ghost Investigation Ward had been shoved her way with it’s sucking wound of a budget, it’s bloated incompetent staff, its asinine methods she’d seen a rotted limb in need of hacking off. It hadn’t been until she’d been conducting her inspection, digging through the trash for a few pearls of effective agents she could snatch up and put to work elsewhere, that she’d truly seen what they were working on. The potential.
Potential to better arm themselves with in the forms of the strange new weapons being created.
Potential for threats far greater than anything even she had thought possible before.
The GIW as it had been when she’d first come across it was a fetid waste of time and resources. A laughing stock agency only secret because no one took them seriously enough to look. Made stupid and useless with its own conceited delusions of importance it didn’t actually have. Yet.
She went to work on it. Hacking away as she’d originally intended, but this time with a different goal in mind. She ripped out the weeds with bare, calloused hands and planted proficiency and loyalty in their place. She took over as director herself, tossing the self-aggrandizing fool that had been running the place into the ground to the dogs as the culprit for misappropriate spendings, saving the agency by tweaking things until their ballooning budget was pinned neatly onto the former director as an embezzling charge.
Then she got to work.
The Fentons were brilliant, if entirely insane. But Amanda could work with that. She’d reigned Harley Quinn in - more or less - she could do the same to the two deranged scientists that so eagerly wanted to be apart of the fight against the dead. Especially when the benefit came in the form of the inventions they threw together so easily, especially when those inventions were weapons.
It took very little to get them on board with her plans for the GIW. Keeping their focus could be a chore, at times, but she didn’t even have to really do much in the way of pressing to get them back where she wanted them. They craved knowledge and understanding nearly as much as they craved the eradication of the entities themselves. Letting them have the first look at a new subject here, free reign over a vivisection there, it took so little to fuel their fervor and keep them busy working on the projects she set for them.
Things had been going smoothly.
For a time at least.
Until Phantom.
He’d been the main focus of the previous director’s attention, the big fish he’d so desperately wanted to catch and put up on his wall. Amanda wouldn’t lie and say it wasn’t a tempting prospect, but not one she’d put above the other projects she had set in motion since taking over. No, Phantom was powerful, enough to be a real problem one day, but she could the awkward youth in the way he held himself, the inexperience in how he handled situations. She had time to get everything else in order before focusing on getting Amity Park’s would-be hero brought to heel.
And he would be brought to heel. One way or another.
Hands dirty.
Hands red.
Hands wrapped tight around the Core of a fledgling god and bending him to her will.
An artifact, old an powerful, recovered with some effort. A means of controlling specters, of chaining them to the will of the artifact’s wielder. Dangerous in the wrong hands. Dangerous in the right hands.
It was shattered, and even whole and functional Phantom was resistant to its power. But Amanda Waller prided herself in her ability to see the potential in things. It could be repaired, be made better. Even gods could be bound, be made to kneel, with the right pieces, with the right application of force.
It was just a matter of time to gather everything needed.
Phantom didn’t know he could single handedly destroy every last member of the Justice League. The baby fat, the innocent eyes, the split-second hesitations when he fought. He knew enough to be confident in fighting the usual ghosts that haunted Amity Park, but he still very much saw himself as a little fish. Maybe it was the part of him that was still Daniel Fenton, gangly teenager not quite sure what he was truly capable of yet.
She had time before the Fenton’s son truly became an issue. Time to judge if his parents’ obsessiveness would overcome their - rather shoddy, by Amanda’s estimation - parental instincts and continue to hunt him once they knew the truth. Time to get as much out of them as she could before hand, should they falter at the idea of attacking their own son. Time for the staff to be repaired and returned to working order, to get the other items needed for the truly big fish hidden on the other side of the veil between worlds.
She had time.
Until she didn’t.
Pariah Dark had not been something she thought she’d have to account for - not yet, at least.
If he wasn’t already dead, she’d ring the Ghost King’s neck with her bare hands. His arrival had opened Phantom’s eyes to what he was capable of, of just how big of a fish he was. Worse still, Phantom’s defeat of the war mongering King changed the state of play. Phantom was no longer an impressively powerful half dead teenager.
He was King Infinite.
He was an Ancient.
He was getting on her last damn nerves.
Phantom’s rogue gallery were now firmly under the boy’s control. Still distinct nuisances around Amity Park, but no longer considered true concerns. They were loyal to their boy king, delighting in ruffling his feathers but never crossing the line into treason or attempted regicide. Which meant that the GIW was the only thing that held his attention.
Amanda took the time to send a care package to the former GIW director in his tiny, dank prison cell. As thanks for his carelessness in revealing to the entire town - both living and dead - of the agency’s existence and their intentions. Had he stuck to standard protocol, Phantom would have been none the wiser to their presence. Would have scratched his head and shrugged his shoulders at the ghost that went missing upon occasion. Would have been boredly uninterested in the people his parents had begun working with. Would have been taken by surprise when they finally came for him.
But no.
No that self-obsessed, fame chasing imbecile had to go and announce to everyone and their dead mother that the GIW existed and exactly what it was they were in Amity Park to do.
Phantom knew what they were there to do.
They could only count on his naive certainty that he could broker peace with them for so long.
Peace. As if he and his people weren’t the invading force, the monsters slipping in through the cracks between worlds, the latest threat that had to be accounted for. As if he himself hadn’t rent their world asunder himself in another world, another time. No. Peace was not something they could hash out with this baby-faced monarch with his too-big crown. Peace was the assurance of safety, security. Of control of the situation.
There could be no peace.
The higher ups were somehow surprised when Phantom took that to mean there would be war.
Amanda Waller was not.
The Fentons, as suspected, took the right side when all was revealed. Steady hands and flinty eyes as they crafted the weapons that would be needed for the coming fight. Minds even sharper in their maddened grief, hearts set on revenge for the son lost and the entity that stole his face and friends and sister in his garish pretense at humanity. They were blinded to the reality of the situation in its entirety, the potential in what their son truly was, but at the end of the day it didn’t really matter. They did what she needed them to do, they could believe whatever it was they wanted so long as they did.
By the time the boy king and his armies marched upon the Amity park facility, preparations had been put into place. The base in Amity had been stripped back to bare essentials, everything of importance moved to more secured locations.
The weapons labs.
The artifact.
The girl.
All tucked well away from the front lines where Phantom and his motley crew could not reach. Their time to be put in play would come, but not yet. First she needed to gauge what Phantom and his people were capable of, what they were willing to do in the name of what they wanted. Amity Park was a pawn well sacrificed on that front. As were the other facilities she’d left easy to find.
The problem with making children gods, with giving them crowns and calling them King and giving them armies to play with, was that they thought there should be rules. That even in the trenches tearing apart their enemies, there was a certain level of playing fair that everyone was held to. They thought there was a way the world worked, of how things should be that blinded them to more effective options even as time stretched on and desperation set in.
It was the Dead’s problem though, not hers.
She reached out to the Justice League. Sour faced, unhappy, bitterly reluctant to accept that she needed their help. Stone faced and barely containing their rage at what little they knew of the situation, they agreed to a meeting.
She didn’t let herself smile until she was well and truly alone in her office.
Greater good. A lie people told themselves. A fairytale told to children. A means of convincing the weaker willed that they had no choice, that they had a noble duty to bend to. A belief that could be wielded like a weapon if the fantasy of the idea had dug in deep enough. And there were few it had dug into so deep as the members of the Justice League.
Amanda Waller was someone who did what needed to be done.
Hands dirty.
Hands red.
Hands clenched tight on a victory long in the making.
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Part Four
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lakesbian · 11 months
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taylor hebert is so fucking funny. she will be out there committing war crimes nobody knew it was even possible to commit, inventing brand new ways to violate the geneva convention for the greater good, as casually as humanly possible. she saw a real life trolley problem, immediately yanked the switch, broke it off so nobody could put it back the other way, and then piled fifty more people onto the tracks while thinking "you know if i sat down with them over some tea we could probably sort this out and they might even agree to do it voluntarily. anyway i'm not asking them to do anything i wouldn't do myself" (fucked up part is she's being 100% truthful). and then when said people start having stress-induced heart-attacks due to the oncoming train she's like. Oh SHIT. I forgot that people who aren't me (insane) (stabbed leviathan in the ass with a magic toothpick) (unironically tried to fight god with krill while my intestines were falling out) generally don't do very well about stress when god is trying to melt their faces off! there's so so much wrong with her it's incredible. she literally starts calling the people she's turning into some kind of fucked-up battle-siphonophore 'creatures.' she specifically is a spiteful little cockroach who will keep trying to shank her enemies even if you cut her head off and she subsequently unfortunately sort of forgot that most people die upon being decapitated. incredible. i love her.
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vulpinesaint · 1 year
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the hogwarts legacy conversation really highlights something that i think usually stays hidden under the polite facade of liberalism. in the past days, weeks, months, it has become increasingly more apparent that there are SHOCKINGLY few trans allies in spaces which pride themselves on inclusivity and acceptance. as liberal people whose allyship so far has been limited to offering pronouns in their bio and maybe putting an infographic on their insta story once in a while are pressed to make choices to actively support trans people, it becomes increasingly clear that what they offered was never allyship at all. it becomes increasingly clear that their 'allyship' was contingent on all trans people being nice and unobtrusive and separate from other issues. people are dropping their illusions of supporting trans people shockingly quickly when confronted with the choice to actively harm people or not play a video game. as pat loller described it, they are presented with a trolley problem with trans people on one side and jk rowling/the (already paid) game devs on the other. one side will not be damaged. the train will take them on to their next destination, in fact, with very little fanfare. the train will crush the trans people. you have to actively pull the lever to crush the trans people. so-called allies are actively pulling the lever and then getting upset when trans people get upset about being DIRECTLY HARMED. how dare we speak up about the issues we face. how dare we be upset about the direct disregard and harm that people who claimed to support us are now foisting upon us. how dare we be messy about that. we are being actively legislated out of existence, and people who said they were our allies are abandoning us in droves for their much larger problem of... not being able to play a game. it's honestly fucking comedic. your allyship means nothing if it comes with conditions. your allyship means nothing if you are not willing to take action for the sake of your allies. your allyship means nothing if you are not willing to LITERALLY SIT STILL AND NOT DO A SINGLE ACTION for the sake of your allies. the trans community asks people NOT TO PLAY THE GAME. and people look us in the eyes and tell us that a few hours of antisemitic gameplay is worth more than our lives. fine. whatever. we see how it is. glad that they're finally being honest, at least. if you play hogwarts legacy or engage with harry potter i hope you die.
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I feel bad for Starlo.
Star has a point, idk what the four were ticked off about, there is like 99% chance everyone willingly participated in the trolley problem, based on what we've seen of his behavior thus far it's not like Starlo to be that big of a jerk/drag them by force/yell at them to do it. Ed's words:
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he does it because Star asks NICELY
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clearly jealous
It genuinely seemed like a fun time/fun roleplay, especially since every day is the same. Like, the five are supposed to be a rowdy and adventures bunch, what exactly did Starlo do wrong, I'm genuinely confused and curious. Except taking a big liking in Clover (his posse should know that this is a big moment for him, according to Blackjack they've known each other since high school and had the same liking for westerns. So they were basically a nerd gang.) Starlo was kind, patient and considerate towards Clover the whole time, even warned Mooch about them not being bandits, taught Clover gun safety, wanted to bring his posse along for a fun time, thanked Ace for telling him about getting Clover a new hat...
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Sure, at first he only liked Clover for being a human, but as Ceroba says, that changed and he grew to genuinely care about them, plus I can't help but think Star saw himself in Clover and that's part of the reason he was so proud of them all the time even when they messed up (I'll talk more about this at some point)
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What exactly made Ace want to leave the gang? He even said how he doesn't mind "getting run over by the fake train"
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he's so nice. says sorry for forgetting the safety goggles even when he was scatterbrained due to his excitement. I love him so much
The only real "faults" (I'll call them temporary faults) I saw in Star during the Wild East section was that he was even more enthusiastic and more proud than usual. But how couldn't he be when he met a member of the species that he has admired for so long because they have real cowboys and sheriffs on the surface (who are seen as brave heroes who deliver justice, while Star canonically feels like a nobody farmer). His posse should have realized Clover wouldn't be there forever and just let their boss enjoy himself with his "deputy who'd have to leave sooner or later anyway"(or be more patient with him/ask him why he feels this strongly towards Clover/if there's a deeper reason for that). His friends including Ceroba just turn their back on him so quickly instead. The moment he's gotten the chance to feel valued for once and put himself first and not have to take care of this whole town and everyone in it and live his dream of meeting a real human, suddenly "his personality is damaged?"
Star's literally built this whole town, organised everything, he worries about everyone, Ceroba (plus was the one to give her emotional strength before and after Clover's sacrifice), Kanako, the monsters, his family, struggles with feelings of worthlessness yet never wipes that smile off his face, always does his best to be hopeful and optimistic and make others laugh, gave his posse a nap time so they don't become exhausted, gave Ceroba a free home, didn't act upon his feelings towards her and was a 110% supportive, caring friend instead. THAT'S who he is. He's the papa bear of this friend group, the glue holding everyone together.
He was just *really* excited. Y'all know he's insecure and just wishes to escape who he is and yet y'all blame him for liking Clover so much. Yeah, the four are very clearly jealous. But why won't the four of you control your feelings for a while? As mentioned, Clover WILL HAVE TO LEAVE EVENTUALLY. They won't be Star's "deputy" forever (the kid who's just as into westerns as he is, who values justice just as much, who also values doing the right thing. Someone he clearly felt understood in the presence of, whom he loved; just look at the way he talks about Clove during Showdown). Star seems genuinely confused of what he did wrong poor guy just wanted to live his fantasy for once and feel important:
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Even at the beginning Moray's like "oh no Martlet is upset" Mooch replies "don't be a buzzkill nothing exciting ever happens around here" and Ray's like "Yeah you've got a point"
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If you all agreed to have a little fun with a human who will very soon leave forever why is Starlo's enthusiasm such a big problem? If the posse weren't into this after all (unless they were simply too jealous which could have been solved with a honest talk and a little patience) why are you doing this "rowdy" job with Star in the first place? Do you want your boring routine day to day life so much back? Or just for Clover to leave (which they will soon enough)? You, western enthusiasts, literally met a real human, A HUMAN FROM WESTERNS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PASSIONATELY INTO (clearly not as passionate as Star but passionate ENOUGH to understand where he's coming from).
... okay.
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appleciderp · 1 year
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I literally cannot stop thinking about how Price and Ghost are most likely only a few years apart.
Like the "Good to see you again, Simon." scene hurts me more because of it.
Imagine Private Simon and Price, they both don't really know what they're doing but they want to do what's right. They share the same barracks, and they encounter each other, but they don't really talk yet.
Then Price gets a promotion to Lance Corporal and has Simon in his lil section, they become friends at this point, cracking jokes and spending time together.
After a few promotions on either side, Price can say that Simon is definitely his closest friend in the Army.
And Price doesn't hear about Simon for a while. He gets a promotion to Officer Cadet and Simon isn't there for his promotion, which unsettles him. But Simon was always a bit introverted and quiet when it came to his private life, it's not like he expected anything.
Between his officer training, Price manages to corner Simon when he's back on base, and he tells him that he had to settle his family affairs. Don't worry, it's all solved.
Then Roba happens, and he mourns Simon. He meets Tommy, Beth, and Joseph at the 'funeral', offering them his condolences.
But a few months later he overhears the whispers from other officers about Simon not actually being dead, that he dug himself out of a grave with Vernon's jawbone. They're calling him Ghost now, they've given quite a few promotions for the whole ordeal, but he isn't on base yet, anger management issues they say. Price doesn't blame him.
Then he hears about his family.
He hears about his revenge.
He doesn't see Simon again. He does meet Ghost, and he thinks the nickname is apt. The man was a husk of who he once was. There's an occasional quip, he still talks as he does. But he's not happy, he doesn't have a smile that tore through his face anymore.
They get deployed for more missions together occasionally. Price does see his face once or twice, the same as before but marred with concerning scars. Price still considers the man one of his closest friends, but there's a wall he's trying to break down, but it's getting built up again as soon as he can take a brick out.
The harder he tries the higher the wall gets built. Ghost no longer takes missions with him, with anybody in fact.
Price's biggest concern is that he'll never know if anything happens to him, Simon is dead. He's going to die behind enemy lines and he'll never know.
So he throws himself into work too, helping with training new recruits. He meets John MacTavish; friendly, cocky, hot-tempered, quick-witted, with a deadly aim to boot. He doesn't want the military to crush yet another person as it did Simon, so he forces him to be better. Stronger.
Looking back he probably let his own emotions make him too strict on the kid, but he doesn't regret it.
He hears through the grapevine that his callsign is now Soap, dumb as shit, but then he hears the why. The boy's so quick and efficient at clearing house. Pride swells up in him.
He's a Captain now, he heard that Ghost got Promoted to Lieutenant not too long ago. He meets Kyle, another young hot-shot Sergeant, he reminds him of Soap, and he mentally reminds himself to check in on MacTavish.
The kid's good but lacks experience. Prefers to do what's good over what needs to be done. He didn't miss him heaving after tossing the hostage over the edge of the railing in Picadilly Circus or the color slip away from his face as they tortured information out of the Butcher.
There were things he could protect Kyle from, but as they were; Price always knew what he'd pick when looking at the trolley problem.
After the whole ordeal is done, he wants to make a task force, so he asks Laswell for files. He tacks on Simons, hoping that he wouldn't ignore a direct order. But if Simon worked for him, he'd know if something happened to him.
He's surprised when Simon accepts. He's not when both Soap and Gaz do.
He can't help the smile when he sees him for the first time in years. They chat, they joke, they go on a few missions, and Ghost reluctantly opens the door to Simon again.
When he and Ghost talk about the teamwork required to get Alejandro's base back, he can't help the pride that seeps through his pores. When he removes the mask and lets these people in as well, he knows that, for the first time in years, this is Simon. He's back.
It takes another few months to realize what had lit the fuze, so to speak.
Of course, it was the demolition expert.
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ebro-devoo · 7 months
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After having some time to reflect on 2x07, I think Siuan’s actions were justified and somewhat sympathetic given the information she knew. First off, Lan came to Siuan and told her that moraine have been deliberately withholding essential information from her (the fact that she was stilled ) and was threatening to pass Lans bond which both indicated that Moraine was not in a good place mentally or physically to complete their mission (train and protect Rand/the world from Ran).
Now cut to when she meets with Ran. While we as viewers know that Ran is not evil or mad yet, from her perspective he is a nuclear bomb that could either become evil or go mad in the process of saving the world. The last dragon literally killed a ton of people and destroyed the world, and as the head of the “servants of all” it’s Siuan’s job to protect the world from Rand, and so when she sees that Moraine has no power to control him if he starts to go insane and has failed to teach him anything, she makes the decision to shield/control him, which in her mind is what’s best for the safety of the world. While we know it’s the wrong choice, I don’t think this is anything like the Seanchan who literally enslave an entire group of people while I think of the dragon more as the trolley problem (sacrifice the one to save the many).
Then in the final confrontation with Moraine and Lanfear, I think her confusion and perceived betrayal from Moraine dictates most of her actions. First she finds out that Moraine and Verrin tricked Leanne into letting them escape, then arrives at the way gate to see that Moraine has channeled, meaning that she lied about being stilled making Siuan think that she could be a darkfriend. While the using of the oath was awful and definitely violating, I don’t think Siuan felt as if she had any choice because she wasn’t going to let a suspected dark friend walk away with the dragon reborn. You could also see on her face afterwords how broken she felt in that moment.
Anyways, I think both Siuan and Moraine were trying to do what they thought was right and neither of them are villains and that’s what made this episode so hard to watch.
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is-the-owl-video-cute · 7 months
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What do you like about Saw? I don’t watch horror but I always saw it used as like. The benchmark for artless slasher films
It is by definition not a slasher film. A slasher implies a relentless bloodthirsty murderer seeking out innocent (typically teenage) victims out of getting some level of sadistic pleasure from doing so.
The jigsaw “killer” isn’t in it out of sadism, he puts those he sees as morally in the wrong into situations where they have to choose to either make a hefty sacrifice or die. The point of the tests aren’t killing for the sake of killing, in Jigsaw’s mind he’s giving terrible people chances to redeem themselves and hopefully leave the experience with a better grip on their mortality and move on as people who don’t cause others to suffer. It’s a series that plays a lot with the audience’s own morality in a narrative that doesn’t strictly condemn Jigsaw nor the victims entirely, in a way it's a bit like the trolley problem as a horror movie.
It challenges the ideas of concepts such as revenge and an eye for an eye, sometimes literally, but when the audience is confronted with someone in a saw trap a lot of people are faced with questions about whether Jigsaw or the victims are in the right because the sorts of people commonly in saw traps are rapists, pimps, abusers, and those who put profit over people.
Not to mention Jigsaw himself is a very interesting character to see what happened to get him from a dorky engineer to the Jigsaw killer. Overall there are a lot of very interesting characters and every movie has a plot untwined with the other movies and always ends in a twist. It is as a result very good material to re-watch because you’ll always see something new every time you see each movie and the series as a whole.
The gore actually tends to take a backseat in most of the movies to make room for character building and story. Yes some of the gore shown in later films is extreme, but not any worse than a typical Hellraiser, Final Destination, or really any other horror movie. The point of Saw isn’t to shock the audience, though that’s certainly what it’s best known for, the point is to tell a story and I enjoy the story it tells.
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New Dress
Cale Henituse | Kim Rok Soo x Transported!Reader
You won't be needing a new one.
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'Kid, you have a problem.'
Cale's felt his eyebrows twitch. 'I know, stop bringing it up.'
It's been a few days ever since the undercover plan went into action. You had to take a few days of rest after getting high and then drugged with aphrodisiacs under a doctor's strict order and have been placed under Ron's supervision to make sure you don't do anything stupid. Meanwhile, for Cale, he had been staying in his room and barely going out. Of course, it's because he's naturally like that, you know, a slacker, and totally not because he was avoiding you.
"Human, are you sure you're okay?" asked Raon, looking at Cale worriedly as Cale had been going back to shutting himself out from the world again -- though he didn't appear as gloomy as before, he did become a bit jumpy.
"I'm okay, Raon," Cale answered. "It's just been a long day."
'The day just started,' Super Rock pointed out, his tone suggesting that if he had a face, he would be raising his eyebrow. 
'Kid, you gotta get your shit together,' the thief said with a sigh. 'Is this your first time being horny, or something?'
'Instead of horny, I'm ashamed,' Cale replied to them, a bit irked. 'To think I could--'
'Eh, I don't blame ya, kid,' the Fire of Destruction cuts off with a chortle. 'To be fair, your friend is smoking hot. Literally on fire. I don't think I can get them out of my head, too.'
Cale never paid any attention to such things before and the only thing in his mind was shame because of how he acted towards you during the heat of the moment to the point he started dreaming about it. Once he regained some of his clarity, he couldn't even properly look at you without feeling guilty, so he had been locking himself away from you, only getting updates from you through Ron or the kids.
'Speaking of, Ron shouldn't he be here in a few moments--'
His door was knocked and Cale sighed at how punctual the man was. He allowed the older man to come in, a trolley full of sweets and tea on top of it. Upon seeing Ron, the kids immediately bounded to him and run around the man while eying the trolley.
"Good afternoon, Young Master-nim," Ron greeted with a benign smile, watching Cale get up from the bed to head and sat on the couch with the children. Cale runs a hand through his red hair, staring at Ron who's smiling with his eyes now closed.
"How's [Name]?" he asked first, as always, letting Ron brew him a cup of tea while the older man reported what you've been doing ever since you woke up.
"Miss [Name] had woken up in a good condition and spoke about how she cannot wait to go back to work," Ron started with that sentence first, knowing how Cale would immediately massage the bridge of his nose in frustration when he heard it.
Cale immediately does what Ron has been expecting and sighed, "She works like she's being chased."
Cale noticed the way Ron's smile twitched a little and he frowned. Something was off with Ron for quite some time now. Ron kept quiet about your return a few days ago and while he was ordered to tell Cale what was happening, Cale could see that there were a few things Ron was withholding from him. Usually, Ron being such a secretive man wouldn't bother Cale because that's how he was born and bred -- an assassin and now the head of the Molan household that specializes in information -- but all this behavior revolves around you.
"You seemed to know something," Cale began slowly, Raon sitting on his lap while nibbling on a cookie. 
Ron kept his smile. "Miss [Name] is showing an interest in international trading."
'It's just work?' Cale thought with a frown. "Is that what you both talked about when she came over the other day?"
Cale isn't the type to be snarky with Ron, but it just slipped out of his mouth that he was shocked by his own tone. Ohn who was eating a piece of her strawberry shortcake stopped, knowing that the encounter Cale was talking about was the one she told him about. She watched her guardian and her mentor stared at each other silently. 
"Why didn't you report it to me?" asked Cale further and Ron's smile slowly dropped, his face became like that of a tired father with relentless children he couldn't control.
"Miss [Name] had initially come to the estate to get some rest from the Palace but had ended up sharing a bit of her perspective between what happened between the Young Master-nim and herself," Ron answered instead, trying his best to not tell too much of what happened that night. "I didn't think it was appropriate to tell you of what she had told that night as some of it felt too personal for me to share."
Cale stayed silent. He didn't think that out of all the people you'd talked about your feelings to, it would be Ron. To be honest, he felt a little bit betrayed to see you reach that kind of relationship with Ron where it's enough to make you feel comfortable to share your thoughts with him because you were supposed to be his comrade of being intimidated and scared by Ron. But then again, Cale was glad you had someone to talk to considering that situation seemed to be hard on you both.
"I see," he murmured. 
Ron thinks of the way you had laid on the ground, holding onto your head and begging for something to stop the pain, and nodded. "Yes. I apologize for my negligence."
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"The papers Choi Han and the kids found was enough evidence to have them locked up for a long time."
You cheered in glee. "Yes! Oh, I bet all the girls in the department are going to go crazy when they heard the news. Oh, good riddance!"
Alver smiled looking at you being so happy. "I would tell you to not laugh at someone's downfall but seeing you be happy is very contagious."
"I have a nice smile, I know," you replied with a grin.
Alver stared at you, genuinely happy to see you being better. He had heard a quick summary of what happened in that place; you and Cale had been stuck in a position where you were forced to smoke a roll of crushed-up drug and somehow you managed to get Cale out of that situation because you thought if one of you has to get high, it shouldn't be Cale. Afterward, you unknowingly consumed aphrodisiacs while still high and it fucked up your whole night, and judging by the blush on Cale's face, you probably gave him a hard-on too in the process.
"I'm glad to see you're all fine," Alver said. "I suppose the news I have delivered made you all better?"
"Maybe I should take Cale and the others for a day out," you thought out loud, glancing at the papers on your desk, a small melancholic smile on your face before you looked up. "Your Highness--"
"Start calling me Oppa, too."
You blinked, not expecting those words to come out of Alver's mouth. You tried your best to stop smiling but you ended up with a downturned smile that caused Alver's leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he waits for you.
"So, Oppa--" You looked at Alver's expression when you said it, seeing his smile widen when you did so. "I'm going to be planning a picnic to celebrate my first-ever undercover operation and Count Theodore being put in a cell."
"How morbid," Alver says. "Please have a good time for me."
You nodded. "Will do."
The call ended and you looked at the papers on your desk, some of them were about trading routes and deals with the Henituse family business while some were just some schedules for ships that are going out of the continent. You massaged your temple before rubbing your face, remembering the voice.
"Once you are prepared, board for the ship that heads the furthest  from the Western continent."
You bit the inside of your cheek. Were you ready yet to leave all of this? 
Before you could let yourself spiral into so many thoughts, a knock interrupted your train of thought. You gathered the papers and shoved them into an open drawer, exclaiming; "Uhm, come in!"
Beacrox appeared behind your door, pushing a trolley of food inside your study. Your shoulders slumped in relief when you saw him and welcomed him in with a smile, standing from your chair to sit down on the couch only after you gathered the papers again. "Thank you so much, Beacrox."
"Please have your meals on time," Beacrox reminded you with an expressionless face. "You could easily get sick."
Just as Beacrox was placing down your plates, you told him, "Beacrox, please lend me a hand to make some food. I want to take the others out for a picnic."
Beacrox nodded obediently. "When are you planning to hold this picnic?"
"Perhaps tomorrow afternoon," you told him. "Is that alright?"
"Yes. Then we have to prepare it early in the morning," he responded, taking the papers you were handing out so you could start eating. He noticed how you were circling some of the ship trades that are heading as far as possible and some were just ship routes that were scheduled soon. He unconsciously gripped at the paper, accidentally causing them to wrinkle as he sort them out. With a low voice, he questioned you, "Are you still planning on leaving?"
You tried to keep your face neutral when answering him. "I need to leave. I don't know when I'm going to be leaving or when I'm going to be back. I just know that I'm leaving."
Beacrox glanced to the side. "That's not a very wise traveling plan."
You smiled, shuffling a little bit and patting the spot next to you. "Come sit. I don't know when I'll be leaving, so I might as well make every interaction worth it."
To your disappointment, Beacrox shook his head and placed the stack of papers on your desk, all neat and sorted. "Thank you, but no thank you. As your plans on leaving are very uncertain, I don't think there's much to worry about."
You pursed your lips together into a line, playfully rolling your eyes. "Hm, a shame."
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What a pleasant surprise it is for a few people to receive an invitation from a certain [h/c]-haired world-leaper early in the morning.
The first one to receive the DIY-ed invitation was the esteemed, Alver Crossman himself. The invitation was written by you, judging by the hurried handwriting he had been seeing for the last few weeks whenever you were handing in your reports. When he received it, he let out a laugh at the greeting which was written as "To my Oppa, His Highness Alver Crossman". Then there was his instructor, Choi Han, who laughed when he received his invitation, eager to see what was going to happen.
The next one to receive it was the feared Archmage, whose hair shone brightest during sunsets. When she received the invitation, Rosalyn was genuinely surprised. She had heard that you have been increasingly busy lately and hard to contact, so to see your handwriting on a plain envelope with no crest on the wax seal was a pleasant surprise. She hurriedly called for her little brother, Lock, after reading the contents of the invitation.
You sent out a letter to Cage, Jack, and Hannah as well. The three of them were surprised at your sudden invitation and immediately started preparing themselves for the event, interested to know what plans you have in store for them all. 
There was Eruhaben, who accepted your invitation with a raised eyebrow. You only smiled at him, telling him that it's very important and that you can't stay to chat for long because you still need so much to do while Beacrox waits for you, standing not too far behind you. Eruhaben only opened it after you left, shaking his head with a smile as he reads, "To our beloved Golden Dragon".
Then, there were Cale and the kids. 
Ron delivered the letter when Cale was still sleeping and the kids are just around, waiting for him to wake up. Cale opened his eyes and saw Ron waiting by his bed, holding a tray with a smile on his face. Cale was understandably spooked to see the assassin waiting by his bed, however, he was slightly confused to see the smile on Ron's face -- it was not the benign smile Ron usually sported, but it had a sense of defeat.
"What's wrong?" Cale asked, rising from his bed, red hair still messy and tangled with pillow marks on his pale face. 
Ron lowered his body a bit to show the letter on top of the tray he was holding. "A letter for you and the children, Young Master-nim."
"A letter?" Asked Ohn, interested as she crawled to sit beside Cale, both her and Hong in their human forms.
"Who's it from?" asked Hong, trying to peek at the messy handwriting on the envelope.
Cale noticed how plain the envelope was and the lack of a family crest on the wax seal. Your name was written on the plain envelope, messily scribbled as if you were in a hurry, however his name, Ohn, Hong, and Raon's name was written with great attention, with the loops and curves of classic calligraphy. He leaned to his headboard, Raon perching on his shoulders. 
"It's from [Name]," Cale stated, a bit amused. Why were you sending out letters when you live in the same estate as him?
"Read it, Human!" Raon says, watching Cale rip use the letter opener to open the envelope and take out the letter inside it, filled with your scribbles.
"Alright, let's see," Cale hummed, letting the kids lean to him as they wait for him to read. "Dear Ohn, Hong, Raon, and of course, Cale--"
"As you've all known, I have just succeeded in my first-ever plan and it being a disguise distraction makes it all better. Some things happened but at least we're all alive, right? His Highness Alver Crossman informed me that the files that were found by Choi Han and the kids were enough to incriminate Count Theodore and Baron Davis along with their lackeys. With that in mind, I would like to celebrate by holding a picnic at the park by the river on the outskirts of town.
So! You are being formally invited to [Name]'s celebratory picnic this afternoon! Please come and dine with me on the grassy fields of the Roan Kingdom!"
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"Everyone has received your letter, Miss [Name]."
You sliced a sandwich into a triangle before looking up at Ron. "No, not everyone."
Ron raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"Beacrox, please." Beacrox moved to collect the sandwiches you just cut, putting them in a wrap before placing each one in a picnic basket while you're washing your hands in a wash basin. You dried them quickly with a clean cloth and then took out three envelopes from your apron.
"You both haven't received yours, also please give one to Hans," you told them, handing two to Ron while the other to Beacrox. "You're going to come, too, right?"
Ron and Beacrox glanced at each other and Beacrox raised an eyebrow, "We're going to come regardless you invited us or not."
"Yes, but as a servant," you retorted. "I want you to come as my guests. I want you to eat what I prepared, too."
Ron turned to Beacrox who shrugged. "They're not too bad."
You let out a gasp. "I am not that bad at cooking."
"Of course, Miss [Name]," Ron responded, a grin appearing on his face. "I trust my son's judgment."
"Ronnn!"
Beacrox decided to prepare the rest of the things needed for the picnic while you went to change out your clothes considering your previous one was splattered with sauces and cooking oil. You make sure to keep your makeup light and clothes not too stuffy, keeping the layers at a minimum and the fabrics cool for today's outing. You were planning on going to the spot earlier than others so you can prepare the place with Beacrox and Hans.
You had picked out a grassy field with a river nearby on the outskirts of town, pulling out a large blanket right underneath the shade of a tree. Winds were blowing your hair and dress as you enjoyed the weather, some leaves scattering to the air and passing by you. The sunlight felt warm and not too overbearing and you hummed at how kind the world was to let you have such nice weather for a picnic.
"[Name]!" Rosalyn's voice called for you.
You turned, seeing her running up to you with Lock not too far behind her. With a huge smile, she opens her arms and gathered you to her chest, squealing in excitement. "Oh, I miss you!"
"I miss you, too, Rosie," you murmured, hugging her back, relishing in the warmth of her embrace.
"It's good to see you again, [Name]," Lock greeted you with a smile. You let go of Rosalyn to turn to him, grabbing his hands. 
"How have you been, Lock? I hope everything's been well for you," you cooed. "How's your training so far? Everything going well?"
"It's been well," Lock answered with a bashful smile. "I haven't made much progress but I can feel myself getting stronger and gaining more control over my Berserk transformation."
"That's great! You'll help me if I'm in trouble, won't you?" You teased, watching Lock's face go bright.
"Of course..."
"[Name]!" 
You turned to the childish voice, seeing Raon flying towards you while the kittens, now in their human forms, are running across the field to get to you. You see Cale, Choi Han, and Eruhaben, and further back Hannah, Jack, and Cage walking together. You let Raon ram his head to you, wrapping your arms around the dragon while Hong hugs your waist in greeting. Ohn stared at you, smiling as you return the hugs of her little siblings.
"A pleasant weather for a picnic," Eruhaben says when he reached you, looking up at the bright sky with a small smile.
"[Name], His Highness apologizes for not being able to attend," Choi Han informed with a small frown. "He's trapped by his mountains of paperwork."
You gave a sigh of defeat, the smile on your face still intact. "It's worth a try."
"You chose a nice spot for a day out," Eruhaben commented once Choi Han left to greet Rosalyn and Lock. You smiled at the old dragon, watching him looking around the area with a serene smile on his face. The sun felt warm and the breeze danced with the grass and leaves, some of them flying around far away, spinning in loops and circles as they go. Eruhaben began to walk past you, turning to you with a grin as he spoke, "Hopefully you didn't burn the picnic food."
You let out a scandalized gasp as your eyes follow him. "Did Ron tell you what happened?"
Eruhaben let out a huff, walking towards the picnic blanket, and joining the others. You made a mental note to torture the patriarch of the Molan house later with your incessant talking for tattling on your failed attempts of cooking something nice after a long time.
"Did you?"
You inhaled, the scent of grass and the wind filling your senses before turning around, face to face with the man who had been sitting at the back of your head for years even before he knew of you. His brown eyes looked into yours, gaze tender and curious while his lips are curled into a thin smile. One of his red brows is raised in question, pale skin seeming to glow underneath the sunlight. His red hair seemed so soft as the wind blew on them and despite the many times you have gripped at it while having your tongue down his throat, all you could think at the moment was to bury your nose to his head and sleep.
"It was grilled cheese, it's meant to be burnt," you yelled in exasperation. "And I made it for myself, not for the picnic!"
"Alright, calm down," Cale said, walking beside you while you both walked to where everyone had gathered, his hand on your back. Even though it was only a simple touch, it burned your skin and made you feel warm. "How was it? The grilled cheese?"
"Crispy and the cheese melted perfectly," you answered, kissing your fingertips to emphasize. Cale smiled as he look at you talk about how Ron had been on your ass because, for the second try, you used too much cheese, and scraping up the melted dried cheese from the pan using a fork sounded grating and shrill and 'how can you even be so casual while doing that'. 
Cale doesn't know much about your previous life, but considering how you had once told him you live alone, there was a possibility you had to cook for yourself to save on money or do food prep to make living less of a hassle. For someone who always encouraged living in the present and for the future, Cale always waited for the day you would talk of your past. How did you live? Did you live in a home or an apartment? What side of the bed do you sleep on? Do you like eating meals at the dining table or on the couch? Did you like washing as you go cook? Or are you the type to wash the dishes after making and eating the meal? How were your high school and uni days? Was there anyone special you ever had in your life?
"I want to try it someday," Cale professed. "Your cooking."
You smiled. "Well, lucky for you, the food for this picnic is made by yours truly."
"No," Cale responded. "I meant that I want you to cook for me someday."
You stopped walking to look at him with wide eyes. The thought of doing something so domestic with this man had crossed your mind more than a few times a day when you think of him, however, to hear from him directly that he wanted to do one of the things you've always imagined doing made your heart flutter. You gathered what was left of your confidence and leaned to his side, one hand wrapped around his waist. "Yeah? I'll cook for you and have Ron prepare an antidote in case you get poisoned."
"What a way to go," Cale murmured, his hand on your waist as you both walked together with smiles on your faces.
He tries to imagine another life where maybe you both can be together, living in an apartment a little bit bigger than his previous one as Kim Rok Soo. He imagines having a bathroom cupboard full of your makeup and perfumes, the sink cluttered with your skincare products -- your toothbrush in the same cup as his. He imagines helping you cook and laughing as your grilled cheese is burnt and stick to the pan, listening to you grumbling over how it'll be a bitch to scrub out and he'll offer to do it instead.
'Look at the kid,' said the thief, no doubt grinning if they had a physical body.
The Fire of Destruction chortled. 'All in love and shit.'
'He's happy, that's all that matters,' said the Super Rock with a laugh. 'They both are.'
The gluttonous priestess watched the whole scene through Cale's eyes. Her gaze lands on you who was always on Cale's peripherals despite the man sitting elsewhere. She sees you talking to the Saint of the Sun God, Jack, and the Holy Maiden, Hannah. The three of you seemed to discuss the picnic, the soft-spoken Saint speaking with a gentle smile while his sister grinned at you, teasing you by saying they'd probably need some potion after eating your food. When Cage presented a bottle of alcohol from her sleeves, you cheered loudly.
Perhaps it is her seeing things that aren't there, but the priestess sensed that something had shifted in your demeanor. While you're still friendly and generous with your smile, she could see that in your eyes, a sense of sadness and reluctance hid beneath them. The priestess was aware of your mental state sometimes and the past struggles that you have shared with Cale, but this was different. It reminded her too much of the days when she was forced to leave the temple due to her gluttony, something she cannot control.
It felt like you had a burden on your shoulders that you cannot put down and you were preparing yourself to suffer the consequences.
Instead of coveying what's on her mind, the gluttonous priestess chose to say what everyone else could see; 'She seems happy here.'
"Here's your sandwich," you say when you handed Cale a sandwich with a red polka-dot wrap. "Beacrox made sure every single ingredient is fresh and perfect. I'm pretty sure he inspected every grain of salt and pepper I used,"
The corner of Cale's lips quirked up into a grin as he unwraps the sandwich. "Yeah? You're fine with someone watching you cook?"
Your eyes widened, shaking your head while laughing. "No, do not do that. Beacrox and I have a bond your provocation cannot sever. Don't do that."
"Since when?" Cale questioned, his tone laced with mirth.
"Hey, we all know Beacrox is one gloomy guy, but he's nice," you answered. Cale's gaze landed on Beacrox who was handing out food to the others, giving him a raised eyebrow.
"When are you going to be back to the duchy?" Cale decided to change the topic. "Officially be back, I mean."
You sat down next to him, unwrapping your sandwich. "I'll be back to the duchy officially once my last paycheck from Alver comes in. You know I can't leave without that last paycheck."
Cale lets out a small huff while you laughed at your own words. "It seems the only way to keep you by my side is by giving you money."
You grinned. "Yeah, sadly your good looks and intellectual mind isn't enough for me to stay around."
Cale leaned back, tilting his head while looking at you. "Shame."
"Yeah, you have to work on scamming more bastards for us all," you say, knowing damn well you stayed because you were in love with him despite the many times he nearly pushes you into cardiac arrest with whatever complex he has to always carry his burdens himself.
"[Name], tell us about the operation you went to!" Rosalyn spoke up after swallowing her sandwich, prompting everyone to look at you with curiosity.
Every single letter that you sent out mentioned celebrating for the first time you were directly involved in the field, something Cale had always been against for years because he preferred to have you in the back of the line. While it did has its hiccups, at the very least the mission was a success and you got what you wanted; the man, Count Theodore himself, behind bars.
"The star of the show was her," Cale spoke up first when you were about to open your mouth. He finally took a bite of the sandwich and smiled at the taste, finding it not too entirely bad. 
"I had such a fun time!" You exclaimed to everyone. "It was an undercover mission and Cale went with me to be a distraction while Choi Han and the kids sneaked in to find the paperwork that could incriminate a bunch of nobles that's been pissing me off."
"Bet the list got longer when you worked in the Palace," Cage quipped before taking a sip from her bottle of alcohol. You're not very sure what beverage she's drinking but you trust her to hold her liquor.
"There were so many cases of money laundering and smuggling within the Palace," you told them, scratching your cheek. "His Highness is doing a great job of eliminating the corrupt nobles but some of them still managed to get under his nose. I'd like to think me actively despising most of the nobles working there helped him a great deal because I'm hard on them."
"If anyone there ever tries bothering you, you can just drop their name on a letter and send it to me." Rosalyn's tone was playful and filled with ease, but you know her intentions were anything but. No matter how beautiful she looks when she smiled, ruby eyes squinting, no one can forget the amount of destruction the woman could do. 
"Remember to do everything with reason," Cale reminded the woman, his tone nonchalant. 'Find a good reason to fuck them up' was not said but was understood.
"Of course, Young Master-nim," the archmage flashed a charming smile, in tune with Cale's intentions.
"This is a picnic to celebrate me being in the field for the first time, not for you both to plan a political dispute all over again," you remind the two red-heads, digging into the picnic basket and taking out more food. "The kids can go run around after they finish their food. I want to frolic."
Upon hearing that, Raon's ears perked up, walking to you with big eyes. "You'll explore with us?"
You smiled. "Of course. Why not? The day is bright and the sun isn't too hot. It's a good day to have fun in the field."
"Just don't go out of the field," Cale told the dragon, patting his head. 
Cale stayed in the shade of the tree with the others when you and Choi Han accompanied the kids to frolic around the place, the kittens running around while Raon is trying to get his back scratched while laying on the tall blades of grass. You were walking beside Choi Han, one hand lifting some of your long skirt, the other holding onto Choi Han's hand.
Cale remembered today as one of the days he wished his slacker life would be full of. He will keep on yearning for days where he could sit down and enjoy the weather, safe underneath the tree shade while hearing the low murmurs of everyone talking around him, focusing on you and the kids instead. He can see you grabbing onto your dress as the kittens run around your legs, trying to get you to fall and enjoy the grass with them, Choi Han watching with a smile on his face. Raon jumped onto your front and it successfully made you tumble to the ground, laying on your back. 
"Han! Help me!" You exclaimed in in-between joyful laughter. Choi Han makes a half-hearted attempt to get you to stand up and when you did, you broke out into a sprint.
"Catch her!" Ohn screamed, chasing after you with her siblings. 
Your face broke out into a large grin at how free it was to run up a hill, to feel the sun on your face, and the wind blowing your hair into a hot mess. In this place, nothing that you have been terrified all your life exist. There is no mother to berate you, no father that does nothing but lay on the couch and leaving the food cabinets empty for weeks, and no reminders of friends that have loved and left you.
When you reach the top of the hill, you saw a port not too far, swarmed with people and a couple of ships and boats on the docks. The open sea glimmered under the sunlight, the water surface looking like glass. It makes you nearly emotional seeing such a beautiful sight because all your life, you had been so sheltered and all the places you've walked to aimlessly have led you nowhere joy could be found.
"Find me."
That foreign, yet comforting voice finally, finally decided to speak once again and you find your heart hurting. 
"Find me, and you'll find yourself."
You look out at the line where the horizon meets the sea, your chest feeling so stuffed that you thought your heart was going to come up to your throat. You'd vomit out the organ if it meant ridding the dread that was creeping up on your chest.
"There," said the voice, a pleasant lilt in his voice.
Was he aware of your dread and laughing in your face or was he simply happy to know you know what to do? Either way, this selfish want of yours was going to rip away the last bit of happiness you have left in your life.
"You will find me there."
Your eyes began to get glossy and you closed your eyes, reminding yourself that today was a happy day. Today, you are surrounded by the warmth of the bright sun, winds blowing your hair, foot itchy from the sharp blades of grass, and heart full of joy and love from the loves ones you have with you today.
Right now, you are free and loved and nothing else matters.
You turned around, just in time when the kids ran up to you. You managed to hold your ground when they ran into your chest, giving them all a tight hug. 
"Why'd you stop running?" Asked Hong, taking a peek behind your shoulder. 
"Don't feel like rolling down the hill," you mumbled into his fur, hugging him tightly. "I enjoyed today with you guys, you know that right?"
Ohn sat on your shoulder, feeling the shaky exhale you were letting out. She desperately wanted to ask about what was bothering you but she feared being brushed away by you again -- you were like that, always changing topics and turning down any chance whenever anyone wanted to know how you were doing. She had seen the adults, especially Cale trying to get the answer out of you and it invoked a strange sense of inferiority within her, to know you will never truly open up your heart to her because even though she understands, you will always see her as a child.
Ohn has always see you as a big sister, perhaps even more as a mother. She confides to you and wished desperately for the day you do the same to her will come soon, but she'll always be a child in your eyes. 
"[Name]!" 
You looked up to see Rosalyn and Lock running up the hill to chase after you all, with wide smiles on their faces. The red-headed mage dusted the back of your dress from the grass blades and dirt, laughing at how dirty your dress had become. Lock gave you a sympathetic smile, "That looked like a nasty fall. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," you answered and Rosalyn snorted. "Your dress isn't though. We might need to buy a new one. It's got little tears."
"It's fine," you answered. "I won't be needing a new one."
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princessinyellow · 1 year
Text
I feel like the people who get mad about everyone in HNK getting turned into Lunarians or whatever, is missing the metatextual point of the story. The question is not “why did they have to become Lunarians?” it’s “if thousands of immortal people with an idyllic society want to die, is it worth it for one man to subtly manipulate (but not push, coerce, or force) one child into unimaginable suffering?” It’s the classic trolley problem!... KIND of...
One of the first dilemmas which caught my eye was with Padparadscha. If someone is receiving help they do not want, is it okay for them to turn down the help, knowing that this will lead to many of their peers being hurt? Padparadscha decides no, and can’t even consider the alternative. Telling Rutile to abandon them is unthinkable, because it would then almost certainly cause Rutile to abandon all doctoring duties. The gems would be pretty screwed while a new gem gradually learns doctoring from the ground up.
Later Phos makes the opposite decision for them, stealing Pads from Rutile and taking them to the moon. With the added wrinkle that Phos knows they have more advanced technology there which would almost certainly provide an actual cure. Which is does indeed! Twice!! There’s so many layers!!!
And of course this is about Cairngorm cause everything in my life is about Cairngorm now!!! Is it better to force someone into altruism, or give them the freedom to be selfish? Most of you fuckers are like NO YOU FORCE THEM, IF THEY EVER GET HAPPINESS THEY’RE THE WORST!!!
And the idea that Cairngorm’s ENTIRE personality on the moon is 100% pure grooming is absolute cope. Aechmea makes such a point of encouraging her to make her own choices, and treating her well, and she’s ACTUALLY HAPPY as a girl!!! And she shows literally no hesitation or fear in talking shit. She’s always telling him how creepy he is and how bad he is at gifts and stuff. But she also actively chooses to show him affection.
She obviously doesn’t trust him but she obviously CHOOSES to love him anyways. Basically the same as with the earth gems and Kongo! Except when Aechmea yells at her (one time and only ever once), he doesn’t shatter her body into a million pieces. Aechmea is objectively better to be emotionally close to than Kongo.
As someone who sees the stiff anger in Cairngorm’s body on earth, the uncertain frustration etched into her face until she meets Aechmea, and then the bright bubbly joy she expresses most of the time then on... I know how that journey feels. I’ve felt it. And let me tell you; it’s no coincidence that “no they’re not really a woman! They’ve just been groomed into acting like it, in ways that are entirely speculative and not even slightly evident,” sounds pretty horrifically familiar these days. (It’s the same conspiratorial thinking, applied on the same topic)
It honestly seems like most of the hostility Cairngorm and Cairnmea gets is because self-absorbed fans think the main character is the center of all morality. But for me, someone to whom Cairngorm’s emotional journey is delightfully familiar. To whom her success is absolutely dreamlike in its beauty. I just don’t see these invisible shadows of abuse. The real, perceptible abuse Cairngorm suffered from was all from Ghost and Phos.
284 notes · View notes
eriquin · 18 days
Text
The Trolley Problem, Part 34
As he gets Robin up to speed, Steve skips straight to the important bits: talking about girls.
(master post)
The three of them came up for air together. Steve still had a grip on both Tommy and Robin, and pulled them close as he looked around. They were both treading water on their own, but he could feel how they were shaking. He quickly scanned the edge of the pool, wary of the demogorgon, but he didn’t see it. There was shouting from the house, but no screaming, so that was another good sign. He started swimming towards the ladder, dragging the other two with him.
Carol was right there with an axe in one hand and the pool skimmer in the other. She was repeating something under her breath, and once they got close enough, he could hear that it was just the phrase ‘holy shit’ over and over again. She held the pool skimmer out to try to push them closer to the pool ladder.
“I got it, Carol,” Steve said. He couldn’t figure out which one of them should get out first, but Tommy made the decision for him by coming to his senses and grabbing the rungs. He climbed out on his own and reached back to help with Robin. She was trembling and Steve was worried that she was going into shock, so he was grateful for the help.
Once they were out of the pool, they rushed through the cold air and into the house. Someone had thought to get out towels, and they wrapped themselves up in them right away. Steve got a second one for Robin and put it around her shoulders before turning and staring out the windows of the sunroom.
“Is it gone?” he asked, ducking and trying to look around. There was still smoke on the lawn, but it didn’t look like anything was on fire. “It didn’t... Did it go? Did you see it?”
Jonathan let out a croaking sound. “I saw it,” he said, his voice hoarse. He picked up his camera and held it up, looking a little gray. “I... I think I got a picture, but... Holy shit.”
“It’s gone,” said Will. “It disappeared after the explosion.”
Steve turned around again to try to find Tommy. Carol was hovering near him, trying to get him to sit down and let her check him for injuries. He definitely looked shaken. She looked at his hands and face, then snapped her fingers at the closest kid. “Lucas, go get the first aid kit. It’s in the kitchen, over the sink.”
“On it,” said Lucas. He ran, sneakers squeaking against the wet tile. 
“Is he okay?” Steve asked.
“Minor burns, I think,” Carol said. “I don’t know how we’re going to explain this.”
Tommy took a couple of deep, shaky breaths before talking. “Just, stupid shit,” he said. “Playing with fire. Literally, just say what I did. Hairspray and a lighter. I’m a dumbass, remember?” 
Steve grabbed him by the arms and stared at him for a second. “Yes. A complete dumbass.” He pulled him into a tight hug. “Fucking saved our lives, you stupid asshole.”
Tommy squeaked a little and wiggled out of his grip. “Come on, man. There’s people here.” He winced and tried to flex his hands. “Also, ow. This hurts like hell.”
“Yeah, don’t do that shit again!” Steve raised his voice now and turned to look at all the kids. “No more fire, got it? None of you touch a fucking lighter.” 
He went through to the living room to make sure all the kids were still accounted for and saw Robin standing in the middle of the hallway, looking dazed. She slowly turned in place, staring at the art on the walls and all the kids that were staring back at her. Then she saw Steve again and her chin quivered. 
“That thing,” she whispered. “Was it real?” 
Steve walked towards her. “It’s okay. It’s gone now.” He held his arms out, ready to hug her, but she flinched and he shifted to just one arm, guiding her back to the living room. This, she accepted.
“What was it?” she whispered, her eyes still darting around like it could come out from the shadows. Which, he reminded himself, it definitely could. He managed to keep from saying that part out loud.
The kids seemed to sense that she was pretty spooked, so they made themselves scarce. He could hear them in the sunroom, though, and he knew that Carol and Jonathan would watch out for them. “It was, uh... The kids call it a demogorgon. It’s a monster.”
“A monster,” she said, nodding slowly. “It... I think it killed Heather.” 
Very slowly, Steve got the story out of Robin. She had gone to a party, which she wouldn’t have normally, but someone had asked her and she went on a whim. There, she’d met an old friend, someone who she hadn’t hung out with in ages, and they started talking again. Something had happened out in the woods, and there were people milling about and not doing anything. 
“I don’t know why I went to check,” Robin said. “I think because no one was going to, and Tammy said they were all cowards.”
“Oh, Tammy,” Steve said with a derisive snort. “Of course.” 
She narrowed her eyes at him. “What’s wrong with Tammy?” 
He groaned and rubbed his face. “It’s just... Okay. Keep an open mind, will you? This is going to sound weird.” He tried to think of the quickest way to explain what had happened, what he was, and what she meant to him, and he ended up just blurting it out. “I’m from the future. Or, at least, I know what’s going to happen, like I’ve lived it already. And we’re friends. Like, best friends. We go through some terrible shit and then we’re just, like, inseparable.” 
She clearly didn’t believe him. “You. Steve Harrington. And me. Robin Buckley. Are inseparable.”
He chuckled. “Yeah. I know. I told you it would sound weird.”
“More like, unbelievable.”
“Yeah, I get it,” he said. He searched his mind for the exact words. “I’m a douchebag, and I ask stupid questions in Mrs. Clicks class, and I get bagel crumbs everywhere, right?”
Robin looked a little spooked. “Yeah, you do. You did. That’s exactly how—”
“How you would say it, yeah. I know. You told me all of that, once.” He ducked his head and  looked around, but luckily the room was still empty. Still, he kept his voice low. “You also said that Tammy Thompson was obsessed with me, and...” 
Her eyes went huge at this. “What?” she squeaked, putting her hands to her throat. “I said that? I mean, she is, but—”
“And you wanted her to look at you. Like, you’d go home, cry into your pillow, that kind of thing.”
There were tears in Robin’s eyes now. “Stop,” she said. She shoved at his shoulder, pushing him but moving back herself. She got up from the couch and spun around. “I didn’t tell you that.”
“Not now, no,” he said. “But in the future.”
“I wouldn’t tell you that!” Robin was loud now, and the voices from the kitchen and sunroom stopped. She looked past him to the rooms, completely spooked. 
He held his hands out as he approached her. He kept his voice low. “I know. I know you wouldn’t. But you did, and it was okay. It is okay. You’re okay.” 
“What the fuck,” she whispered, mostly to herself. “Okay, so I told you about Tammy. Why would I do that?”
“Well, we’d kind of been tortured by Russian together and were sharing secrets to make sure the truth serum had worn off.” He waved his hand at her baffled look. “It’s fine. It happens. Well, I’m hoping it won’t happen this time, but you know what I mean.”
“Holy shit, I really don’t,” Robin said. “So, in the future, we’re like... Friends? Even though you know about—” She cleared her throat and took a suspicious look towards the sunroom, not willing to say it aloud. “That?”
Steve kept his voice to a whisper. “Hell yeah. Like I said, we’re best friends. Platonic best friends. It’s great.” He smiled. “We talk about girls a lot.” 
“Seriously?” She still looked completely lost.
“Seriously. I swear to God.” He sighed and stared at her. “Robs, I didn’t want you involved in this, I really didn’t... But damn, I have missed you so much.” 
Something in his face must have made her believe him, or at least made her feel sorry for him, because she leaned over and gave him a tight hug. He hugged her back, relieved even if it didn’t last that long. When she pulled away, she was wiping her eyes. “I just got chased through the woods by a faceless monster that wanted to eat me, and now I’m hugging Steve Harrington, and I can’t figure out which part of that is weirder.”
“Oh, it’s me, clearly,” Steve said. Robin wasn’t whispering anymore, so he didn’t, either. “I mean, the monster would pretty much try to eat anyone.”
“Wow, way to make a girl feel special.” She got up and pulled the towels tighter. “We have to go back to Heather’s house. I need to check on Barb.”
“Wait, Barb? Barb Holland?” Steve got to his feet. “She was there?”
A couple of people took their change in volume as a sign that they were done with their private conversation. Carol poked her head in the living room. “What was that about Barb?” she asked. “Did she end up at a party tonight anyway?”
Steve turned and nodded at her. “It sounds like it.”
“That’s so weird. Like, predestined or some shit, weird.” 
Tommy was right behind her. His hands were covered in bandages, and he had some on his face as well, but he seemed to be coping. “Yeah, really. Why would Heather even invite Barb to a party? They don’t know each other.” He looked over at Robin. “For that matter, why would she invite you? Was it, like, a band geek gathering?” 
Steve rolled his eyes at Tommy. “Dude,” he said. He moved into the doorway, where he could talk without shouting, and Robin followed him.
“Dude!” Tommy said right back. He made a gesture that might’ve been flipping the bird, but it was impossible to tell through the bandages. “Tell me I’m wrong!”
“I mean, he’s not wrong,” Robin said. “I only went because Tammy invited me.”
“Ew, Tammy,” Carol said with a sneer. She turned back to Steve and poked him in the chest. “That’s who asked me about you. She seemed, like, super invested in getting you to that party.” 
Steve put his hands on his hips. “Oh, and you’re just remembering this now? Thanks, Carol.” 
“It didn’t seem important, okay? We had a lot going on.” She gestured at the backyard.
Robin cleared her throat to get their attention again. “Anyway, I think she came with Nancy? Barb, I mean.” She looked a little sheepish. “Barb and I used to be friends in middle school, but we hadn’t talked in ages, and I didn’t know anyone else there, so we were just hanging out when Tammy said she heard something in the woods. And Heather and Kurt were missing, so I said I’d go look. Barb came with me.”
“Shit,” Steve said. “It really is predensened.” 
The boys in the kitchen snorted and snickered, making all the teenagers turn to see that they had an audience. “Predestined,” said Mike. “It’s ‘predestined.’”
“Yeah, that’s what I said,” said Steve. The boys laughed a little more, so Steve ignored them and turned back to Robin. “You said it killed Heather. What did you see?” 
“Heather and Kurt,” Robin said. “We found their bodies. And then our flashlights started flickering, but not like the batteries were dying. More like—”
“Like a strobe?” Will asked. “Like the light was going crazy?”
“Yeah, exactly.” Robin stepped closer to the kitchen and nodded at him. “I was, like, totally frozen. Like, I thought maybe it was a joke or a prank or something? But it smelled awful, like real blood. Then the lights flashed, and then Kurt’s body got snatched away, and me and Barb started running.”
Steve turned away, keeping his back to the kids to try to school his face in private. “Did she get away?” 
“She tripped, and there was a monster and...” Robin took a shaky breath. “I hit it.”
“You what?” Carol asked.
“With a tree branch. I just picked it up...” Robin dropped her towel and made a swinging motion. “Like, to get its attention?” She laughed, sounding a little hysterical. “Oh, and then I ran like hell. ‘Cause I’m in soccer, right? So I can run at least. Like, I was screaming the whole time, which is so stupid, like majorly stupid. You really shouldn’t waste your breath on screaming when you’re running but I wasn’t thinking about that. I—” 
Steve spun around and grabbed her mid-babble. “So, Barb might still be alive?”
Robin rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah! That’s why I need to go back to the party, dingus.”
He felt his lip wobble a little bit at that. “You called me dingus.” 
She glanced over at Tommy and Carol, who also looked totally baffled. “I’m... sorry?” 
“No, that’s... That’s right. That’s what you call me. I’m your dingus.” 
“Oh my God,” Carol muttered. She let out a heavy sigh and patted them both on the back. “Don’t worry. He gets like this sometimes. He just needs a moment.”
Steve wiped his face and fixed his hair. “Okay. Let’s get this shit figured out. First, the three of us who went for a swim need dry clothes, because I’m not going back out there in wet jeans. Second, you two—” He pointed at Carol and Jonathan. “—Figure out what we’re doing about the kids and all that shit in my yard. And also, what the hell are we gonna tell people happened tonight? If Heather and Kurt are really dead, there’s gonna be cops.” 
“Cops?” Mike asked. The kids all looked alarmed. “Would they come here? We need to hide El.”
“We need a plan,” Steve said. “Figure out stuff while we’re getting changed. Then I’ll drive Robin over, and you guys can fix it so things don’t look so fucked up over here.”
Carol and Jonathan agreed, though Carol rolled her eyes a little at it all. They split apart to get things done. Plenty of Steve’s clothes fit Tommy, and Robin was tall enough that they would probably fit her, too. She grabbed something at random and left them to get changed in another room.
Tommy needed some help getting into them with his hands all bandaged up. He whined about it. “Coach is gonna be so pissed at me when he sees this.”
“We really should get you to a hospital,” Steve muttered.
“We really should get you to a hospital,” Tommy mimicked. “Yeah, no shit, Harrington. We’ll go after the heat’s off.” He snorted. “Get it? The heat?”
“Yeah, I get it,” Steve said, trying to suppress his smile. “That’s like the kind of joke my dad would tell.” 
“High praise. You’re dad’s funny as hell.”
“He’s a dork.” 
“Oh, that’s where you get it from.”
“Shut up.” Steve gave Tommy a little shove, relieved that he seemed to be all right, other than the burns. “God, they’re gonna be so pissed about the lawn. I wish I could tell them about the monster. That’d be way better than us just fucking around.”
“Yeah, but ‘us fucking around’ is more believable.” Tommy sighed and scratched at the edges of his bandages. “Come on. Let’s go see how everyone else is doing.”
Jonathan was out in the yard with the kids, disabling all the traps so they could put them away. Carol had stored the bucket of bloody, raw meat in the trunk freezer in the garage, “in case we need it later.” She moaned about how gross it was, but also said she had a plan.
As she scrubbed her hands in the kitchen sink, she said, “Look, if Barb’s alive, then she saw the monster too, right? She’s probably already telling people about it. So that’s our story. We saw something chasing Robin, and then Tommy lit it on fire, and it ran away. We don’t know what it was, just that it was freaky. Let the lab cover it up.” 
Steve groaned. “But what if they come back here looking for it?” 
“Tell them they need a warrant,” Carol said. “Or that they have to come back when your parents are home.” 
“Which is tomorrow afternoon,” said Steve. “Shit, they’re gonna kill me. We need to figure out how we’re gonna hide El.”
“That’s a problem for tomorrow,” she said. 
“Why do we need to hide El?” Robin asked. 
Carol glared at Steve. “Didn’t you tell her all this already?” 
“I’ll tell her on the car ride over,” Steve said. “We talked about more important stuff.”
She scoffed. “More important than the psychic girl and the monster and how the lab is going to kill us all to keep them secret?” 
Robin went pale, and Tommy laughed a little. “It’s fine, Buckley,” he said. “I’m sure Steve will fill you in.”
“He told me about the Russians,” she said. 
“The Russians aren’t even here yet,” said Carol. She poked Steve in the chest again. “God, you’re so bad at this.” 
Steve threw his hands up in the air. “Look, I’m trying, okay? I’ll tell her in the car.”
“Talk fast. It’s, like, two minutes to get to Heather’s.” Carol shoved his coat and car keys at him. “We’ll stick around until you get back, and then I’m taking Tommy to the hospital.” 
“What about the kids?” 
“Jonathan’s got ‘em. He can take them home. Their parents actually know him.” 
With no more excuses, Steve and Robin climbed into his car and went to see what the damage was at the Holloway house.
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pancake-breakfast · 7 months
Text
This is it, everyone. The last volume. The final week. The end of an era.
I'm not ready.
Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 14, Chapters 1-3 below.
Chapter 14 Covers
Mind Games, huh? I think Nightow is playing his own mind games with the readers with this bright-and-cheerful fully-blond Vash image here.
Oh, he just HAD to sneak a tiny Wolfwood into the joke cover. Rude.
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The back cover is Vash doing his whole love and peace thing. But will this manga end with love and peace? Guess we'll be finding out real soon, huh?
Haahhaha, Chibi Legato looks terrified he's going to fall. It's cute.
GET THAT FEATHER, KURONEKO-SAMA! GET IT!!!
These titles are all so dramatic.
Chapter 1: When Rivalry Comes To An End
CW: Body horror
Gotta get that full ensemble shot in here before the end. I particularly appreciate that the way he drew Livio suggests Razlo is there, too. Though I'll note even here we're not allowed to see Wolfwood's full face.
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"I've been livin' by my gun longer than you've been alive!" Hahahahahaha, that's what YOU think.
LOL, Vash's whole reaction to this is gold. He's so casual, and then he realizes the sheer level of discordance with his looks versus his age when people think he's human, panics, and rapidly changes the subject.
I feel like it's unfair to call this a rivalry. The whole of the rivalry is located in Legato's head.
Ugh, them fighting with all the debris falling around them. It's crazy. I wonder if we'll get to see this animated in Stampede.
Vash isn't gonna have any energy or power left for Knives at this rate.
Look at him. He looks so happy.
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Yeah, Legato's right. This seems like a severe lack of foresight on Vash's part. Legato was literally giving him trouble back at the beginning of all this before Legato gave him the activated box.
*sigh* Vash is really into burning this Last Run juice here, isn't he. Idiot.
Dude, Legato, now you're polar opposites? I thought you just decided you and Vash were kinnies in the last volume.
I have no idea what's going on here. Legato is screaming. I got that much. I think maybe he destroyed Vash's prosthetic arm?
Awww, is that Little Elendira? What, did Knives just find a bunch of bitter, bitter children and decide to raise them to be bitter, bitter adults??
If Vash pulls the trigger, he simultaneously loses and wins. But... I know how this fight ends.
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Heh. And here Vash is, still refusing.
Legato, honey, baby, my boy. Don't. It's ok if you don't get shot. It really really is.
Welp, that's grotesque and terrifying.
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Godsdammit, I know how this is gonna play out, but part of me really, REALLY hoped I just heard wrong. It wouldn't be the first time. But the pieces are all in place now, and set up in the right positions, so....
Legato, you asshole. How dare you reduce Livio to only having worth as a tool! I mean, I get it. It's how Legato sees himself, and thus it's how he defines things, but it still stings.
And suddenly Vash is faced with a trolley problem he's not sure he can avoid or solve by other means.
WhAT is THIS??!!!?!?! Sudden Wolfwood?!
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Chapter 2: Overkill
Oh, this isn't even Livio here. It's Raz. Not that the result wouldn't be the same.
Did... Vash shoot?
Yeah.... Yeah, he did. I like how Nightow doesn't focus on the violence of it, but instead on the grief of it. Just the simplicity of Vash's knee hitting the ground in defeat, and the place where Legato should be standing or kneeling or whatever in front of him is empty, instead replaced by just his feet and the edge of his cloak.
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Just the way he couldn't let humans die because Rem gave her life to protect them, Vash can't let Livio die when Wolfwood gave his life to save him. He's still mourning that he had to make this choice. He still hates this situation. It's not a deed done with a clear conscious. It's just the path he can live with better.
Aww, Livio's trying to get Vash out of there. He knows Vash is in a bad place. I honestly think he could figure that out even if Vash's hair hadn't gone so dark.
Meanwhile, all Vash can think of is Wolfwood.
Meanwhile, it looks like Knives has gone to space to meet his new friends up close and personal.
Either whatever he's paying attention to is REALLY important or he's just lying a trap for them. Maybe both?
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Well, if the Earth Fleet can't stop itself, then I guess Knives will have to stop them.
Heh, Milly having to call Meryl by her actual name to get her attention.
They've found Vash! And Livio!
Oooh, Meryl just took one look at this situation and already knows how bad it is before Livio starts explaining.
This panel is... I dunno. This panel is feels.
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Is Vash having a bit of a breakdown? What's he gonna shoot at??
Bless Meryl. She's doing so much for him right now. She's probably been thinking about this sort of thing since they parted ways before. She's ready now, and she's going to do her best. Just because it's a non-combat maneuver doesn't mean it's not important.
Six ships all aimed at each other with Knives in the middle, going for a smoosh move? Welp, this is bad.
Wait, are they talking to the Plants Knives has absorbed?? Silly me, I thought they were just gonna chat with the bulbed ones.
Chapter 3: Side By Side
What in the zombie wasteland even are these first few pages??
Knives looks very unconcerned by his supposed impending smooshing.
Are these flashes to just after the Great Fall, maybe?
Gods, these random dramatic floating feathers are so late '90's/early 2000's. All you kidses don't even know. Personally, I blame CLAMP.
OH THEY ARE CRYSTALLINE FEATHERS??!! WANT.
Hahahaha, this kid got biffed on the head by one. Also, there sure are a lot of them. Is this the Plants bleeding themselves off of Knives, maybe?
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Oh, the Plants are making the people resonate with each other the way the Plants resonate with each other. That's... a thing.
Ah, yeah, these are definitely flashbacks. The town is growing up around the Plant.
Oh, NOW Knives decides to pay attention to his whole body going all vibratey.
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"We need the support of more people." This reminds me of Horton Hears a Who. Like, they just need more individuals making noise and then the Plants will hear them.
Yeah.... Really, it doesn't even take 100 years for abuse to leave a very nasty mark that might be impossible to reach past.
"Be on the lookout for any retaliation." Knives looks VERY ready to retaliate.
This Plant just wanted to help, but everything kept dissolving into violence....
...but there were good people, too. People who wanted to help and to learn and to teach others and to give thanks.
Hahahahaha, this is the "more people." They're the people in the past. This feels soooo much like Vash remembering the people of July and thinking that, regardless of what else they were or could have been, there were so many he knew that were just... kind.
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Dude, this guy here just telling Knives off. Not sure if he's got balls of steel or if he's just ignorant or if he's just dealt with enough renegade Independents to call them as he sees 'em.
Archive
Trigun Vol. 1: Covers + 1-3, 4, 5-6, 7-8, 9-10 || Vol. 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8
TriMax Vol. 1: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7 || Vol. 3: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-7 || Vol. 4: Covers + 1-2, 3-5, 6-7 || Vol. 5: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 6: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 7: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 8: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5 + Bonus || Vol. 9: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 10: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-8 || Vol. 11: Covers + 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 || Vol. 12: Covers + 1-3, 4-6, 7-9 || Vol. 13: Covers + 1-3, 4-6, 7-9
Extra Credit: Trigun Vol. 1: Nebraska vs. Vash's Motivations, Vash's Loneliness, Vash's Depression (pt. 2 of post), Soupy Brains || Vol. 2: Coin Factoids || TriMax Vol. 1: Lina, Vash, and a Haircut || Meryl, Vash, and the Pursuit of Happiness || Vol. 5: Knives, Vash, and Hatred for Humanity || Vol. 6: Coping Series: Wolfwood, Meryl, Vash || Vol. 8: The Uncoordinated Counterattack || Vol. 9: Justice, Punishment, and Mercy, The Tolling of an Iron Bell || Vol. 10: Crucifixion Symbology (pt. 2 of post), Merging of Families, Being Childlike (And Why God Hates Chapel) || Vol. 11: New Hair, New Outlook
21 notes · View notes
inlocusmads · 2 months
Text
"We're A Serious Workplace!" ~ trystan x nora
More quick drabbles. Using @choicesfebruary2024 prompt "Eros"
wc: 1k-ish, teen and up
____
“Why is it called a Cupid's arrow anyway?”
“Hm?”
Nora lowered down the newspaper. She'd gotten side tracked five times now. What she was supposed to be doing was scouting potential clients and contacting them to help them with their missing hats, books, trolleys, strollers, you get the idea. Business has been slow these days. It was only after February 16th did you get the momentum going, categorically speaking. 
“Cupid's arrow. Why an arrow?”
“Well I suppose it has something to do with the story of arrows used commonly in Greek and Roman battlefields. Clearly was some kind of an -- important weapon to the Gods.” Trystan shrugged, drumming his fingers against the table thoughtfully. “Or maybe it is to show that love is blind. Since he appears to be blindfolded.”
“Doesn't that defeat the purpose of the arrow? It is all precise and everything.”
“You know what, I have no idea. It presents this moral argument.”
“Which is?”
“You cannot possibly punch them with love, can you?”
“And shooting people with bewitched arrows is somehow okay?”
“It hurts a lot less I am assuming. Magical arrows, different types - does it even pierce through the person's skin?”
“Most of the time it hits them like a paper ball or something.”
“Harmless. Exactly.”
“Still, arrows being associated largely with battles - is not exactly harmless.”
“Archery has evolved into a novelty sport.”
“Well so is -- uh, everything. Everything is a sport. Getting uh, groceries and -- uh, queuing. Jobs. Cellular services--”
“If that is your logic then everything is everything.”
Nora stared at Trystan before folding her newspaper.
“This is turning into an existential crisis.”
“Fair enough.” 
“I still don't understand it.” Nora shrugged. 
“Maybe it is not for us to understand.” Trystan started. “Love is this -- balloon people constantly pump air into. It does not need to consume every single aspect of our lives but it does. We love the things we do, the people around us - we love the deep seated dislike we have even though we cannot articulate it. We embrace contempt, we love to hate, we love to love and -- the balloon just keeps rising and rising with the air in and one day it shatters. And that's when you know you need to stop questioning things and just -- take where the river lets you go -- ouch! What was that for?”
Trystan massaged his shoulder where a scrunched up paper ball had landed squarely against it. 
“Proves my point.”
“Which is -- to attack me? I am appalled at your lack of sense of sympathy during these trying times.”
“No, I mean - Cupid should just use paper balls.”
“You can't possibly aim right with a paper ball.”
“I could aim left though. It's such a stupid joke, I'm sorry.” Nora reached into her drawer of torn pages and made a nice compact stone-like structure for optimal pelting purposes. She tossed it to her left. It bounced a little off the door and landed squarely inside the waste paper basket. 
“Beginner's luck.”
Nora threw her hands up in exasperation. 
“Fine. Professional’s luck.”  Trystan stood up to face her desk. He grabbed a book off the shelf. “I am going to hold this as still as I can. I am certain you cannot possibly land it on top of that cabinet right there.”
“This is a workplace.”
Trystan raised his brow. He didn't plead but Nora let out a sharp exhale and got to her feet.
“Oh shoot I am out of paper.”
“What do you mean, your desk is literally full of them.”
“You want me to tear papers from files? Really?”
“Cupid would sacrifice his paperwork in a heartbeat.”
“Cupid doesn't work a desk job. He gets to prance around and shoot people and make them fall in love.”
“Isn't that such a dream job?” Trystan perused through the book in his hand, as Nora searched for something to throw. “You get to take breaks whenever you like and cause problems for everyone, while you get to take a nice, happy vacation. I think he deserves to get reimbursed.”
“In what? Roman coins? Togas?” when Nora should be asking, “Why reimburse him at all?”
He thought for a moment. “A really nice retirement package. Also you are stalling.”
“I am not. I can't find a good throwaway piece of paper. Everything has some value. Trash is important. Bills? Important. Phone numbers I should have saved on my phone -- pretty darn important and-”
“How about that paperweight?”
“Seems fair. Pretty lightweight. Almost paper with the whole paper-mache thing happening in the -- okay --” Nora readied herself and she hit the book right in its dead centre enough to leave an impact. However, Trystan did not anticipate the exact weight and the sheer amount of brute force it could supply that he pushed back against the paperweight, as if he were playing tennis. The thing flew past Nora's head in a swift motion, shattered through the glass and never saw its place on the desk again. They had bigger problems to worry about. The giant gaping hole in the glass window probably being a .. problem for starters. 
"Oh --- fuck."
For a minute there was silence. Two minutes passed and neither of them could breathe. 
“Mafalda is going to kill us.” Nora whispered. 
“Well. You could just -- draw the curtains back.” Trystan said, covering the scene up. 
“And what if she pulls back the curtain?”
“A raccoon,” he decided. 
“No raccoons are pretty big.”
“Small raccoons.”
“No, no, too -- implausible.”
“A stuffed dolphin. I have heard it is recommended to be very specific when you -- well, when the truth is -- when the actuality does not match up with the truth you -- saw.”
“I don't have a stuffed dolphin.”
“Can just be my Valentine's Day present to you.”
“What would I do with a stuffed dolphin?”
“It is a hypothetical situation! We need a tangible -- foundation! Now -- perhaps I can look up some material details. How strong is fur anyway?”
“Rats?” Nora suggested.
Trystan thought about it. “Rats infiltrating the office. No. It is an army of rats. No. Just one rat. It skidded down the table, jumped high up to reach the window sill and it ploughed through the window and down on the street.”
“Exactly. So it works?”
“Sure.” Trystan shrugged nonchalantly. “Want to go grab dinner?”
“Yes, sure. Let's go.”
____
Once again not tagging people because.. drabbles lol. Drabbles. Drabbles everywhere.
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But like. He did kill so many grisha just because. Like at what point such a significant change happens and like how. Someone who started out just to save grisha is just killing them left and right. Like this is not the trolley problem thing that he is killing 2 to save 4. He kills them because he can. I have always considered ditw pandering.
Re: this ask
Anon, anon, why are you putting me in the position to argue that the Darkling Wasn’t That Bad Actually on tumblr dot com?? That’s the meanest thing a faceless stranger on the internet could do to me.
Anyway lol so I don’t think DitW was pandering! LB first wrote it while she was drafting R&R— the book where he makes some of his most heinous choices. So I don’t think there’s like a gap where she decided to instead pander to people, you know? She can think of him as a hurt child and someone who burns down orphanages and razes cities just to get his nemesis’ attention.
By R&R he’s centuries old, in the short story he’s a grand total of thirteen. I don’t think it’s pandering or woobifying to have him change over such a vast span of time. And like we literally see baby’s first murder play out on the page.
I personally thought it was a really deft way to show how he went down the path he did. It illustrates how he’s kept isolated his mother, partially through necessity because of the looming ever present fear of being hunted by Grisha and otkazat’sya. How she’s also raised him to believe that he’s fundamentally other than, but also above, everyone else. Over the course of the story he makes his first attempt at marginally trusting anyone, to take the risk of *gasp* making a friend, and it goes horribly! Completely reinforcing all of the bitter fear and mistrust Baghra has raised him with. Also like even at that age he responds with rather stunning ruthlessness.
I think it’s pretty relevant that the threat to him was from other Grisha, and that he covers up the entire thing by using otkazat’sya/general Grisha persecution as an excuse. I think it leads up to his strategies in TGT really well and how, in offering a supposed sanctuary for Grisha, he’s made himself very powerful. And how he uses saving them/the country as an excuse for all of the choices he’s actually making in self interest. Idk I think it’s good characterization!
As for the TGT era, I think any more noble aims he might have held have become warped and corrupted over time. They’re just too flimsy and very easily set aside in the face of his desire for control. The trilogy is about the inherent corrupting nature of power and immortality, so the Darkling having started out as someone who might have meant well, as someone whose values may have been more aligned with Alina’s is kind of the point! And we do see some hints of those skin deep values, like the frankly laughable thing where he makes all the Grisha eat peasant food because they’re good salt of the earth Ravkans and they shouldn’t forget where they came from.
But yeah like he does kill Grisha left and right, but it’s the ones who have defied him. They’re the ones who’ve sided with Alina. The point of the story is that he might want to save them, but he wants power more. And his immortality and cumulatively acrued ruthlessness means that he doesn’t see it as anything but wiping the slate clean. This current generation was disloyal? Wipe them out. He made a point of preserving the children, they’ll just grow up and fill the ranks. Individual lives mean nothing to him because they’ll just die in a blink of the eye anyway. And also because by TGT he’s just a garden variety fascist lol. The good of an amorphous and I’ll defined collective/cause/nation outweighs that of the individual, no matter if those individuals make up that cause. He’s comfortable killing as many disloyal Grisha as need be without viewing that as a set back to larger Grisha interests. And it goes without saying that he must be the one leading said cause and furthering those interests, anything else is unacceptable.
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