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thoi2020 · 3 years

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u have advanced??????? wow. tips to qualify mains please??? help me with my modules.how do i solve them?????????

hnnng idk bestie here's some short tips n like if u want something more specific u can send another ask or dm me?

pay attention in class. sit in the front. listen out for what things the teacher puts an emphasis on. ask questions. yes, even the stupid ones. especially the stupid ones bc those are fundamentals u cannot miss bc a shaky foundation leads to a shaky building. also pay attention to ur teachers. theyve been doing this since before u even knew about jee they know what theyre doing. most of them want whats best for u, and if not specifically that, whats best for them n their institute which are usually similar things. im not saying blindly trust them without criticism but have some faith. dont dismiss them they prolly know better than u. if id followed my teachers instructions i prolly wouldnt have had to drop (but thats a discussion for another day lol).

revise notes on a regular basis. like. the day u studied it in class. then the next day. then a week later. then 2 weeks later. then a month later. google the curve of forgetting for more accurate time stamps. use flashcards for formulae n stuff that u have to memorise like inorganic chem.

analyse past papers. recognise the most important topics. but also there are some small chapters that are quite easy and some people skip them thinking there wont be any questions from them. ive given 4 papers of mains, and i can confirm that is utter bullshit. 1 question each from units and measurements, mathematical reasoning, stats, chemistry in everyday life, polymers, are guaranteed. u can easily secure at least those marks by spending just a little bit of time on them. esp for jee mains its relatively better to cover a wide range of topics with medium depth instead of just some but with deep understanding (the latter works well for advanced tho).

make a friend or two whos in the same boat as u, preparing for jee n try to keep each other accountable. tell each other everyday what ure going to study that day n then check back the next day. remind each other hlep each other out. also be friendly with the class toppers sometimes they can solve ur doubts better than teachers just bc something they explain clicks better. whenever i get confused about logarithms i think back to what my 9th grade classmate told me when i asked him to explain in 1 sentence n had him repeat it slowly to me multiple times. its burned in my memory and helped me so much.

practice tests. set the proper 3 hour limit and solve them. be honest w urself ure doing this for u. no point scoring 256/300 to impress ur teacher if u cheated bc on the day of the exam ure going to be screwed. in the beginning try out different strategies, different ones work for different ppl. like for me, math is my favourite and i find it easier than the other 2 so i do it first and it gives me confidence. then i move on to physics and then chem. some people look over the entire paper n solve the easiest from every section first, then the medium ones, then the tough ones. experiment in ur practice tests n figure out whats best for u n ur test taking. after the test, analyse. see what u got wrong, why u got it wrong. clarify doubts. mark problem questions to revise and solve again later. no point in solving more n more questions if theres no retention or learning.

for solving books specifically under the cut bc this is getting too long lol:

stick to 1 or 2 books max per subject. make them ur holy books and swear by them. if ure doing coaching then the modules provided by them are a very good option bc theyre specifically for jee and will cover what u need. coaching teachers will have a lot of experience with them too so u'll have an easy time with doubts clarification. if u choose other books tho, still consult with ur teacher and ask them to tell u what's relevant and what isnt and dont waste ur time on whats not. it might make u look or feel smarter to be solving questions on stuff thats beyond the scope of the exam but u literally dont need it and the syllabus is already very vast so ure just going to waste time and brainspace. like sure if ure interested study it in ur own time but dont make it an Important Must Do thing.

ok now that u have ur book with everything relevant to jee, make sure u devour them. study the theory alongside ur class notes. solve a few questions of corresponding topics the day they are covered so u dont have so many questions lined up at the end of the chapter. like if i studied friction in newton's laws of motion today, i'll solve the questions relevant to friction today itself. or u know this week. like,, keep it current. then while solving, speak out loud and explain the problem to urself like ure teaching someone else (or better yet, find someone to teach them to. stuffed toys, younger siblings, ur classmate, grandparents, online friend, whichever works). mark all the questions that took u longer than 5 mins or u cant solve at all. dog ear the pages. try them again the next day. then again a few days later. take the ones u still cant solve to ur teacher. try n ask for just a hint once and try again. and then if u cant then ask for the solution. DO NOT go on the internet. ur brain doesnt have to work for it then n u think u got it but u dont got it. make ur brain work for the solution so it'll remember.

now that uve given a good shot to every question and figured out where u stumble. analyse a bit. find a pattern if theres any: like a certain concept that is weak or something ure not understanding. read the theory for it if u have to n ask questions to clarify. then solve these problem questions again and again until u know every question well enough to be able to explain to someone. skip over the easy ones u dont gotta do them again n again, focus on the ones u stumbled on. theyre the weak spots. no use strengthening whats already strong enough.

and uh keep a notebook of the solutions of the questions u solve so that u dont have to go crazy searching for them in an emergency. like ur paper is tomorrow and u cant figure out this question that uve been trying for 1 hour then its a good time to review ur previous solution and refresh ur memory. often if uve practiced enough n its just exam stress etc thats making ur mind go blank then just a hint will be enough to remind u.

also this is more general but just. be consistent. small consistent efforts over multiple days instead of a big one in 1 day. u’ll retain better and ur brain does better with multiple small chunks spread out over an interval than a lot of stuff in a small one. and its ok to to have an off day dont kill urself over academics ur health is more important always. not getting into ur dream college might fuck u up but itll heal but ur health is more precarious and not getting enough sleep or food will def fuck u up and the consequences are a lot harder to deal with. dont think about the big picture or u’ll freak urself out just think about the next small step u can take. getting 99 percentile feels impossible but solving 10 questions for it does not. dont get disheartened by test results if ure working hard n smart u wont fail. even if u dont get into ur dream college u’ll have an excellent work ethic that’ll take u places u never thought of in ur wildest dreams. more than anything, be kind to urself and work n play hard.

#good luck!!!#sorry for the unpunctuated typing this was long i cba <3 #anonymous #again this is just from my experience plus teachers' advice that i liked and saw worked #tw iit jee #lmk if u wanna know sth else?#hope this helps #long post

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celebritytgcaptions · 3 years

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Requests (5/8/2021)

Hi lovelies! I just filled up the queue through May but I have a LOT of requests left. So I’m posting the remaining requests below! If you see your request here that means it’ll be posted in June at the earliest. If you don’t see your request it means it’s probably going to be posted in May (although I did delete two messages that weren’t “requests” as much as “demands”, messages that said, “Do this,” or, “Make that,” which I don’t respond to). There are some requests I addressed in a post on April 27th though that won’t be posted until June also so be sure to check that out. Thanks for the support lovelies! Hope you like what’s to cum. ;)

Anonymous said:

Could u do emma stone from amazing spider man i like her look from the 2nd one but its fine whichever u use

Yep! Second one it is. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi was wondering if you could do a caption of a superhero that is captured by their villain and turned into an evil hench woman thought about anne hathaway as cat woman if you could thanks love your captions btw

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption where a white guy gets turned into Kerry Washington. And becomes addicted to sleeping with black men? I was thinking of using the scene from little man where shes in bed after a night of "doing it". Can that be done or is that too graphic of a description?

I don’t think it’s too graphic? I’ve never seen Little Man (idk what it is tbh) but I googled “Kerry Washington Little Man” & found a pic I think works so I can do this.

Anonymous said:

I don't remember if I requested this already or not but could you do one of Haley atwell from captain america I was thinking like a super soldier test turns a guy into her but he then finds out that was the plan that the government wanted to make super sissies instead

You did not request it and I can do it!

Anonymous said:

Hi could you do a caption using Betsy brandt? Shes the aunt from breaking bad incase you didnt know I just think shes beautiful and hope you could do a caption for her idk what about maybe something about milfs thatd be good ig whatever you decide anyways thanks

I DO know who that is! And there have been quite a few MILF requests (as you’ll see) so all you MILF lovers will be happy going forward. :)

Anonymous said:

Hello first off big fan 2nd off im sorry if this is too much but I have abit of a list for ya if u can do these thats great if not its ok just sorry i know its alot. Emma thompson(saving mr banks) Sean young, (ace venture) Rhea Pearlman, ( matilda) Christina agulara( burlesque) sigourney weaver, (alien or ghostbusters) emma stone (cruela) thank u there will be a part 2

Heres part 2 its just ones I dont really have any specific thing in mind. Tia and Tamara. Idna menzel. Adele. Bonnie Tyler. Ruby rose. Sarah chalke. Kristen schaal. Melissa McCarthy. Megan trainer. Elizabeth gillies. Like i said if u can great if not thats alright atleast u'll have some stocked up for a rainy day thanks again and sorry again

Hello im the one who gave the list of requests sorry once again I just wanted to further explain one of them the christina Aguilera from burlesque one to be specific I would like the one where she is wearing the bowler hat with the loose frizz curls thats the only one I can think of to elaborate on the rest are up to u thanks again sorry again

Ok so this is A LOT of requests and in the future I would like to ask people to limit their requests to three celebs at a time, but I’ve never said that before so it wouldn’t be fair to the person who requested all these. So yes I can do these requests. The only one I won’t do is Sean Young from Ace Ventura because her character in Ace Ventura is really really transphobic (or, more specifically, how that character is written). And I can do that specific Christina Aguilera one. Also since this IS so many requests I’ll probably be sprinkling them in through instead of doing them all at once, & I already wrote an Elizabeth Gillies one coming out towards the end of May.

Anonymous said:

If possible could you do Elizabeth perkins as Wilma Flintstone I had the idea of it litterally being set in cave man times and depicting the forat instance of feminization, the first sissy, being of a weaker evolution and stuff causing the tribe to pick him as the tribes cave sissy

Oooo, sounds fun. Totally!

Anonymous said:

Could you do Marissa tomei? Was thinking hero type story by night hes a crime fighing vigilante by day She is a stay at home sissy wife waiting for hubby to get home to pleasure him

I can do this!

Anonymous said:

Could you try making one where a boy who’s always been short his entire life gets feminized by his friend? I was thinking someone like Skai Jackson would be great for this

Sure thing! I found one of Skai where she’s of age so I’ll use that. :) (I won’t use a GIF of here her though since most of them are from Jessie when she’s under 18)

Anonymous said:

I was wondering if you could do one about a college professor named Peter whose autocloset gets hacked by his students. They transform and feminize him into a sexy latina milf so they have someone sexy to look at during class. Actress of your choice, someone over 30 please.

Oooo, I’ve got the perfect celeb for this. ;)

Anonymous said:

Hi I actually have 3 u may have done them before but if u can thatd be great. 1 Natalie Portman (V for vendetta ) the little girl outfit with the pigtails I was thinking like a lost bet. 2 P!nk (beautiful trauma) the house wife look is so good. 3 Elizabeth olsen (wandavision) when shes in the bed wearing her costume like a morning after thing. Thats all like I said if u can thank u love ur captions

Ah gotcha. I can do these!

Anonymous said:

Hi id like to start off by saying i love your captions. Was wondering if you could do one of Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ramona flowers when she had Green hair as far as the story I dont really have anything other than green being the guys fav color idk hopefully you can do something with that anyways thank you for your time have a good one

I can work with this. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey I have a specific scene in mind its of kaley cuoco when she was on the big bang theory I dont remember the episode but its where shes sitting on the couch when her BF walks in and shes dressed in this purple lingerie and shes got her hair up its beautiful I was thinking if u could do a caption on that? Maybe like a roommates thing sorry I dont have enough info on the scene

I’VE HAD THIS IMAGE FOR SO LONG BUT COULDN’T THINK OF A STORY SO YES I CAN DO THIS! :D

Anonymous said:

Could u ro Lindsay sloane from bring it on I had to look up the name I just remember her as "Big red" what they called her in the movie

Yep! I love Bring it On. :)

Anonymous said:

Omg i love the Alex kingston caption u did recently whenever u get a chance could u do more River song captions also the billie piper one again whenever u get the chance

You got it. :)

Anonymous said:

Ok if you could i have an idea for a caption of a guy who wants to be internet famous but cant cut it as a guy so he pretends to be a lady on an onlyfans but doesnt show off anything too much then he gets surprised by his Male roommate who found out and his roommate blackmails him into making more "Private" videos to get cash I was thinking using meg turney if u could thanks

Sounds fun. Sure thing! :)

Anonymous said:

Hello I know you mightve done this one already but the one of Katy Perry from "Hey hey hey" music vid could u do another one from that still her with the blonde hair but when shes just waking up instead thank you

You bet!

Anonymous said:

I know you got alot of requests lately but if you dont mind one more could you do Drew Barrymore from Batman forever?

I had to double check how old she was in that but yes! I can do this. :)

Anonymous said:

I know I probably wont see this for awhile but if u could can u do a caption of debby ryan from jessie where she is dressed like a little kid and has her hair in pigtails? I was thinking like a babysitting gig gone wrong for the story like dress up goes too far or something anyawys thank u

Do you know what episode that’s from? I found the image and I think it looks great but I just want to make 100% sure that Jessie was an adult when she made it. If you know the episode feel free to message me & I can go ahead with it. :)

Anonymous said:

I have 3 if u could do them 1. Zazie beets 2. Zendaya 3. Tessa Thompson. Thats all thanks

I actually have Zazie Beets and Zendaya caps coming up before May ends, but you’ll get the Tessa Thompson one in June. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi could you do another caption tor jenna fischer from the office please?

Yep!

Anonymous said:

Could you do a cap where a teacher named Peter gets feminized into a latina housewife and use Marisol Nichols from Riverdale? Can't ignore the MILFs.

Damn right you can’t! I’ll be sure to do this. :)

Anonymous said:

Addison Rae or Ariana Grande please

I’ll do both! :)

@tammyboy25 said:

Hi there! I was wondering if you could please do one where a sister or best girlfriend guilt trips a boy into being their maid of honor for her wedding? Bachelorette party, Dress shopping, getting their hair done, dancing with other boys at the reception are some ideas I had. Thank you so much either way!!!

Ooooo I love this! You got it sweetie. :)

Anonymous said:

Wow, I really loved the "From the Amazons" caption you did with Wonder Woman! Could you do something similar with a guy named Rene put into the body of a sluttfied superheroine? Maybe Scarlet Witch/Wanda? Thanks!

“From the Amazons” has been getting a lot of love so thanks everyone! I can totally do this with an Elizabeth Olsen pic. :)

Anonymous said:

I'm not sure if youve seen falcon and the winter soldier yet but Erin kellyman who plays kharli in that is a relatively new actress so I could understand if you dont know her but if you do could you make a caption for her? Thank you

I actually do know who she is! I saw her in “Falcon & Winter Soldier” and Solo so I can totally do a cap with her. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi, yesterday I said how much I loved that Wonder Woman caption you did with Gakl Gadot. And I've since discovered the manips made by Saturdays24. My name is Rene, and I'd loved to be turned into a girl in one of his pics, particularly Taylor Swift! Thanks!

Sure thing! @saturdays24 gave me permission to use their stuff a few years ago so I can do any caps with their manips. :)

Anonymous said:

Can you please do Priyanka Chopra captions

Sure!

Anonymous said:

Can you do Lala Anthony captions. I am a big fan of her

Totally! (For some reason I can’t find a good GIF of her though)

Anonymous said:

Can you do a cap with the new Billie Eilish Vogue Pics? That would be so so amazing.

Anonymous said:

billie eilish or addison rae?

Anonymous said:

Hi I remember someone else asking for a billie eilish caption since she was of age now but it was still too recent to have any pics of her at the right age well now shes 19 and I just saw she was on the cover of vogue afew days ago ....would that work?

Don’t worry, a Billie Eilish cap from British Vogue is on the way! She is an adult now & so I can make caps with her. :) (Also to the person who asked about Addison Rae, like I said earlier I’ll make one for her too. :D)

Anonymous said:

I really liked ur newest caption of Kelly lebrock as a boss being spotted enfemme I was wondering if u could do a follow up to that one? Maybe with her from woman in red. Id just like to see the coworker confront the boss

I like that idea! Totally. :)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption with Jhene Aiko or Jenna Ortega? They’re both similar to me in body build so it would be pretty amazing to see them in a caption.

Jhene Aiko yes. Jenna Ortega MAYBE. Jenna Ortega only JUST turned 18 and that was during the COVID-19 pandemic so there aren’t going to be a lot of projects where she’s an adult to pull from. So if I can find something maybe otherwise you might just have to wait a bit. Sorry if that’s a bummer. :/

Anonymous said:

Can you do Nikita Dragun captions please?

I’ve no idea who this is, sorry.

Anonymous said:

Idk if u know the band pentatonix or not but if u do could u do a caption for Kirstin Maldonado they just came out with a music video for 90s medley and she is gorgeous in it much appreciated :)

I’ve actually done some Kristin Maldonado caps already so I can totally do another. :)

#Requests #Not a Caption

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somnilogical · 4 years

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transfem protestors released info that moved 350000$ of donations from miri. because miri is an evil org, they decided to lie about why they think it happened and say its really confusing. i know the answer to this ~mystery~, i know why this year was different; i can talk about it in public, they cant. cuz im freeee from CDT PR. i can decide to lazily choose an algorithm that optimizes utility in multiverse, not just institute whatever choice seems to give most utility "going forward".

<<Our fundraiser fell well short of our $1M target this year, and also short of our in-fundraiser support in 2018 ($947k) and 2017 ($2.5M). It’s plausible that some of the following (non-mutually-exclusive) factors may have contributed to this, though we don’t know the relative strength of these factors:>>

https://web.archive.org/web/20200214061634/https://intelligence.org/2020/02/13/our-2019-fundraiser-review/

they then go on to list eight pretty thin excuses. you know perfectly well why this year is different from all other years, MIRI. your ""speculations"" are fake.

a small group of transfems moved ~350,000$ from your ineffective charity.

i suppose eight of these factors also account for why CFAR extended their fundraiser 5 days longer than announced after donations were super low?

or maybe there is a more compact generator for both of these events: whistleblowers protested what you have been doing releasing lots of marginal information and donors saw this.

i know why this year is different, you know why this year is different. Colm Ó Riain you are facilitating MIRI lying, hoping that if one doesnt mention something, people wont pay attention to it.

like lying in such a way that you wouldnt be held legally culpable, because you could say in front of a court with low schelling reach "you cant prove what i was thinking". except i dont care about legal culpability, i care about causal entanglement. you heard about the protests (or, much less likely, were kept from hearing about these protests somehow by a distributed version of this algorithm set one personstep back), you have > 1/100 intelligence. your omission of this is deception.

is <<In past years, when answering supporters' questions about the discount rate on their potential donations to MIRI, we've leaned towards a "now later" approach. This plausibly resulted in a front-loading of some donations in 2017 and 2018.>> really more plausible than "there was an entire protest against MIRI and CFAR's support of UFAI. people reacted strongly to this, it shows up in the donations.¹"?

it would have come up on a list that scrapes the bottom of the barrel for plausible causes in a counterfactual world in which you werent optimizing for good PR. an AU in which you were searching for and publicising how things were causally entangled.

¹see, for instance, the Patrick LaVictoire who had aggregate donations of:

25,885$ november 26 2018

35,885$ august 29 2019

117,199$ february 14 2020

giving diffs of 10,000$ and 81,314$ to estimate 2018 and 2019 donation periods. iirc at some point the diff was 81,000$, id guess at some point afterwards they donated \floor{100π}$. https://web.archive.org/web/20200601000000*/https://intelligence.org/topcontributors/

and then went on to do the standard antitransfem thing calling ziz a "gross uncle" style abuser who just wants status like brent.

https://pastebin.com/TUZ7EThz

with their evidence being someone kaj said it, and kaj's evidence being that ziz said:

<<> I asked Person A if they expected me to be net negative. They said yes. After a moment, they asked me what I was feeling or something like that. I said something like, “dazed” and “sad”. They asked why sad. I said I might leave the field as a consequence and maybe something else. I said I needed time to process or think. I basically slept the rest of the day, way more than 9 hrs, and woke up the next day knowing what I’d do. [...]

> In the case that I’d be net negative like I feared, I was considering suicide in some sense preferable to all this, because it was better causal isolation. However, despite thinking I didn’t really believe in applications of timeless decision theory between humans, I was considering myself maybe timelessly obligated to not commit suicide afterward. Because of the possibility that I could prevent Person A and their peers from making the correct decision for sentimental reasons. [...]

> I was very uncomfortable sharing this stuff. But I saw it as a weighing on the scales of my personal privacy vs some impact on the fate of the world. So I did anyway. [...]

> I tried to inner sim and answer the question. But my simulated self sort of rebelled. Misuse of last judge powers. Like, I would be aware I was being “watched”, intruded upon. Like by turning that place into a test with dubious methodology of whether I was really a delusional man upon which my entire life depended, I was having the idea of Heaven taken from me. [...]

> I made myself come up with the answer in a split second. More accuracy that way. Part of me resisted answering. Something was seriously wrong with this. No. I already decided for reasons that are unaffected. that producing accurate information for person A was positive in expectation.>>

which doesnt sound at all like brent or other people ive encountered who were chronically angsty about status.

im going to write more about this and others in another post but like okay:

[1] ppl with high current or natal testosterone (centrally but not exclusively cis men) keep doing this thing where they mind-project that everyone else has the same degree of status sensitivity and unreflecticity upon it as them when actually this is hormonally mediated.

ziz has a natally & currently estrodized brain and from my observations doesnt have that submodule testosteronized. people with PCOS like ilzo have mentioned that they had masculinized status sensitivity modules, lex somni and some cis guy all tried increasing testosterone and noticed status-sensitivity went up, without looking for this effect in the first place. there are papers on it. your experiences are not universal.

[2] but also this isnt really a "belief", its a coordination mechanism. in the same way "its in black peoples nature to be servile" was a coordination mechanism for slavery rather than a "belief". humans actually can use evidence efficiently and see, for instance, in the antebellum south that black people were human just the same as anyone else. but the local social positionality and what they valued made it more advantageous to verbally report otherwise.

similarly for any minority. "*phobia" is the wrong word, its not fear its a schelling coordination mechanism that humans can expect most of society to have their backs on when bad times happen. which tracks what social justice theorists mean by this stuff being "structural". its not about some emotion of hatred or fear against the specific phenotype of "black skin" or "gender divergence" its about what humans can coordinate against.

hence the use of "antitransfem" instead of "transphobia", i picked this up from ziz and gwen and later noticed it mirroring the form of "antiblack". i wonder if antiblack was coined after encountering a similar issue.

[3] you parted with a marginal 71,000$ (compared to what id expect in a counterfactual world without a protest given your lifetime donation total was 35,885$ and you donated 10,000$ last year.) to protect a UFAI org. is this not an amazing amount of "subservience" to MIRI? anarchotransfems getting together to protest the present omnicide isnt "subservience". the transfems protesting against google being evil werent "subservient", but the employees at google who fired them out were.

its amusing watching this one narrative being tiled everywhere, but with different targets. the authoritarians did the same thing to emma goldman. ▘▕▜▋ says emma and somni are haxing a clueless ziz to "bully" people, linta said somni was infohazardously corrupting people, CFAR affiliates say ziz was 'whipping people into a frenzy' and 'demanding subservience' from them. im going to write a post about this.

#more institutional gaslighting #justice justice #这个时候你在路上遇到的所有人都是向你索命的孤魂野鬼 #why is this year different from all other years #lots of people at miri besides this person looked over their post and did nothing

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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hi, im new to reading actual comics and i just read the court of owls. this was the first time id ever seen bruce actually hit dick—does that happen a lot? i was honestly shocked at it. and bruce never apologized. im trying to understand why bruce would do that—why do you think? i dont think the comic was glorifying it at all but it was still there and im a little dumbfounded as to why the writers thought that was appropriate to put in there. what are your thoughts?

Its shitty writing. That’s the ultimate answer. Every instance of Bruce’s kids ever has been an instance of shitty writing, because it never gets addressed or followed up on, and its not like there’s EVER a good reason to write a father hitting his kids unless you’re specifically centering the kids and trying to write a story of abuse and learning to recognize and accept that yes, this is actually happening to them now what do they do with that awareness and understanding....and let’s be frank, that’s not a story that DC has ever desired or intended to write with Bruce in the position of that father.

So flat out, no equivocation, every instance of Bruce hitting his kids ever, has been shitty, unacceptable writing, no matter the context or the follow-up, because the end takeaway at the heart of the matter is always, always, always, that whatever each writer’s actual intention when writing those scenes, they definitively did not ‘intend’ for it to be seen as abusive.

But that means jack shit in terms of whether what was actually shown on the page, was in fact abusive. Which has been the case, more than once, and with more than one of his kids.

So unfortunately, he has been physically violent with Dick on more than one occasion, in which there was no chance of it being spun as mind control or like, them fighting as equals because of some story position or whatever, where it was just definitively, a father hitting his son for his own emotional reasons or whatever. It happened after Jason’s death, it happened in the Court of Owls arc, it happened after Dick briefly died and was resuscitated in Forever Evil and Bruce was trying to get him to go undercover without anyone else knowing he’d survived yet. There have been a couple other times where the two of them have come to mutual blows in a fight that started as just a verbal argument, but I tend not to focus on those for a number of reasons but tbh, mostly just because its an uphill battle getting people to address even the times when its most clear that Bruce is without a doubt unjustified and dishing out abuse that is in no way reciprocated. There’s no real chance to even get around to the scenes that are complicated by additional layers.

And again to be clear, this kind of shit writing isn’t just limited to Dick. Bruce has been physically violent with Jason ever since he came back as the Red Hood in more than one altercation, with there being the flimsy justification in some of these stories that well, technically Jason is ‘the bad guy’ and Bruce is just doing what he has to in order to stop him....but with more than one instance of Bruce being overly violent with Jason in ways that he isn’t with even some of the worst criminals or villains in other stories, thus making it impossible to interpret as anything other than Bruce’s aggression being heightened by his emotional turmoil at Jason’s actions, the fact that he’s fighting his own son, Bruce’s own issues, etc, etc....

Which ultimately all just boils down to...Bruce is violent with Jason and to degrees that he isn’t with even his most notorious villains, and his own emotional state is the only explanation possible, which makes the over the top nature of Bruce’s violence in these scenes outright abuse, no matter the existence of the ‘well Jason technically was doing something that Bruce was trying to stop, it was more of a hero vs antihero thing rather than a father vs son thing’ attempt at spinning it otherwise. Notable and notorious instances of this are Bruce’s way of ‘finishing’ things in UTRH, RHATO #25, etc.

With Tim, the only real instance so far has been Batman #71, the King written bullshit I spoke of, and tbh I’m still so steamed at his attempt at justifying that, like, just read the latest issue to see the full story there because I refuse to even dignify that particular bit of abuse apologism with a paraphrasing.

And unfortunately, Bruce has definitely been written being emotionally abusive with all his kids at various points or another, with again the real culprit usually being dumbass fuckferrett writer assholes who wouldn’t know how to write a healthy parent/child interaction if your Higher Power of Choice directly appeared in their room, shining with benevolence and full-on “Do Not Test Me On This” wattage, and then handing them a script that word for word laid out how to write out a healthy parent/child interaction for the scene they were beginning....like, they’d STILL find a way to fuck it up, that’s how bad these particular writers are at recognizing This Is A Good Action and This is A Bad Action, Bad, B-A-D, DON’T DO IT.

And the thing is, that’s not Bruce Wayne at his core characterization. I don’t believe it is anymore than even the most die-hard Bruce fan, which I most decidedly am not. I’m here for his kids, he can stay when he’s doting and on his best Dadly behavior, but he’s always on thin ice with me at this point and on his own, I’m usually just like meh, wouldn’t adopting an orphan right about now be a better use of your time?

But for sure, Bruce absolutely has been written as a good parent in canon as well, and has everything he needs character wise to constantly have that portrayal of him upheld and prioritized instead of his worse traits but like. We have definitely gotten Bad Dad Bruce in canon, and more frequently than any of us would like....which is where we usually turn to fandom, for fix-its.

And there’s lots of Good Dad Bruce Wayne in fanfics. Its even its own tag. And I have no problem with most of those fics in spirit, or the concept in general, I’m just very opinionated and knee-jerk about abuse apologism across the board, so I mean...if it were up to me, I’d much rather normalize tags like “Bruce Wayne Can Be A Good Dad” and “Bruce Wayne Can Be A Bad Dad.” I don’t generally like broad-sweeping declarations made about characters that no one person can ever ensure consistent characterization for, so no matter how understandable the intent, I object to the idea of Good Dad Bruce Wayne protection squads or tags on the basis of like...how easily that can lead straight into abuse apologism, with people making the claim “Bruce would never do what he did in canon story (x)....because Bruce is a Good Dad and good dads don’t do that.” Well no, they don’t. In theory. Cuz problem is in reality, supposedly good dads do things like that all the time, because nobody IMO is truly good or bad, they just do good or bad things and even a person with a track record of doing mostly good things can occasionally surprise people, even themselves, by doing something horrific.

And like, when we’re talking about fictional characters I’m all for arguing that something was out of character because with fiction you CAN actually consider a writer’s intent and compare and contrast it with what’s on the page, like you CAN technically say well, the writer SAID in this interview here, that they did this because they were thinking x, y and z....and then you could feasibly point to the actual on the page depiction of that scene and say okay but look at x, y and z here...what we actually got clearly isn’t what they claim they were actually going for, so they fucked it up, it wasn’t even their own intention, so like....I argue that this was out of character and shouldn’t be given too much weight.

You can’t do that in reality. Impact is what matters. The effect. Not the cause. The intent. No matter how uncharacteristic an up until that point ‘good dad’ striking their kid is for them....they’re not a character. They’re a person. It CAN’T be out of character, its them that did it, their action that caused the effect of their kid being abused, with no take backs for that, no rewind that will ever undo whatever effect that has on the rest of their relationship from that day forward, or whether they even have one at all.

And people have trouble setting firm boundaries on what they will defend in fiction versus what they will defend or call out as indefensible in reality, it isn’t nearly as either or as a lot of people try and tell themselves it is, IMO....like, my stance tends to be that if you can’t even condemn a fictional character for doing a clearly abusive thing, how do you think you can definitively say you’re sure you’d be able to condemn a loved one for doing a clearly abusive thing? Y’know? Its not as easy to separate as people like to make it out to be, so I’m hugely against abuse apologism in fandom because I think a lot of times....the way we react to these things in terms of favorite fictional characters can potentially end up a training ground for how we react to these things in real life, if they end up happening at a later point.

So I’m very critical of Bruce in a lot of my posts, but its not because I don’t want him to be good for his kids or don’t think he can be written that way....and not even because I don’t get the thought process behind ‘well I don’t view his character as being capable of that when he’s written the ways that drew me to his character in the first place, and this kind of behavior isn’t what I’m here for, it isn’t escapism for me and it just depresses me so I choose not to interact with or acknowledge these specific parts of canon.’

My issues arise from the specific ways a lot of fans attempt to write around these instances of canon, in order to not have to factor it into Bruce’s character and their view and depiction of it...while often times failing to apply similarly transformative energy to the characters Bruce hurt in these instances of canon. And when that happens, its a problem, IMO....because you end up writing Good Dad Bruce Wayne....and his kids who are at times resentful or bitter or argumentative or wary...as they are shown at times to be in canon....largely BECAUSE of those moments in canon where he’s written at his worst and does fucked up things. But without acknowledging those parts of canon at all, AND without similarly rewriting the course of events in his KIDS’ lives as much as you do in Bruce’s himself.....the end result often ends up being that you have Good Dad Bruce Wayne and a bunch of stubborn brats that according to this narrative spin have no reason for being as resentful or bitter or argumentative or wary as they’re being here...since THEY’RE still being written according to their full, overall canon characterization, with no specific chunks chiseled out.

And then of course, my other major issue with abuse apologism in fandom arises from how often fans seem willing to tackle the possibility or instances of Bad Dad Bruce Wayne in order to write fix-it fics and headcanons and meta for the times he’s hurt Jason or Tim or Damian, etc.....but then selectively erase or ignore the instances he’s done similar shit to Dick...because so much of this fandom insists on this take that he’s specifically favored by Bruce and has received special treatment that justifies the others’ occasional resentment of him, and the resentment of their fans for him. So there’s this kinda thing where you end up with a lot of fandom ignoring or refusing to acknowledging some fairly pivotal canon events because Bruce Would Never Do That, He’s A Good Dad.....AND then on top of that you have a lot of the rest of fandom ignoring or refusing to acknowledge some equally pivotal canon events because Bruce Would Never Do That To Dick, He’s A Good Dad To Dick...Its Just Everyone Else He Fucks Up With.

And that kind of selective acknowledgment of abuse for reasons of personal character preference like...get under my skin, BIG TIME. *Shrugs*

#abuse cw

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chubberbaria · 5 years

Note

Baria x fat Peter Parker? Gotta get some of that spider chub👀👀👀

Doing this again cause hell yea, plus i just rewatched endgame so))

A wave of heat washed over his body, turning everything on fire. It felt like he might die, if it weren't for his super suit. Baria seethed as he looked at their enemy, a new villian who used elemental guns much like one Peter Quill. He was posing as the hero after all.

"alright, drop the gig. You know you cant win this." Baria said seriously, he stood a few paces away. Wearing a helmet and other protective wear. Baria was a super, he had the ability to change his shape at will. Whether it be height, or looks.

"oh but i can." The villian argued with a chuckle, Baria cocked a brow. His eyes widened when he saw Peter in his captivity.

He was in his civilian clothes, which was strange to Baria. Since usually Spider-Man would be on this sort of thing.

" I've been meaning to test this new metabolism manipulator on someone... One step from you, and he might be the new victim." The villian smirked, Baria grit his teeth as he stood at a stand still.

Baria clenched his fists, "what do you want?" He forced out.

"everything, yet nothing at the same time." The elemntal said thoughtfully. "I wish for power, to put it simply mr. Changer."

Ok, Baria's codename wasnt the best. Sue him.

"right, well you got it. So let the man go." Baria can't risk showing he knows Peter, he can't risk his life like that.

Elemental just laughed, "i don't think I wil." He smirked, before Baria could think he pushed the gun to Peters neck and shot. Peter fell to the ground in a heap, Baria yelled before growing big and pushing the man to the ground and knocking him out.

Baria went back to normal size and scooped up Peter in his arms, he was out like a light... Baria softly bit his lip.

"yea, Im gonna need back up... We have a man down."

Peter woke up, mostly to sunshine and a lot of warmth. Fuck, he was super warm. Looking around, he recognized that he was in the sick ward at avengers tower. Baria sat beside him with his head hanging.

"B-Bar?..." Peter swallowed a bit, rubbing his eye. "What happened..."

Baria lifted his head, his eyes brightened and he beamed. Pulling Peter into the tightest hug imaginable.

"you scared me Pete... How the fuck did you get into enemy hands?" He asked ridiculously, his hazel eyes pretty intensily staring into Peters brown.

Peter blinked, then remembered. "He took me, from work... I couldnt... Change into Spider-Man, so i had to play helpless... " He smiled, "but thankfully, you were there."

Baria blushed then sighed, "yea well... I couldn't save all of you... You got hit with a devise, Tony says it slowed your metabolism down to a crawl." He explained.

Peter blinked, "s-so wait does that..."

"it means... You're gonna have to watch what you eat." Baria said awkwardly

Peter blushed softly, well that shouldnt be too hard should it? He ate good. Usually he had salads and didnt over eat... Right? He should be in the good books on that regard.

Boy, was he wrong.

It took him barely a week to start noticing changes, even with his super heroing he was starting to get a potbelly. It would show through the tight spandex, and jiggle so damn much when he fought. The worst thing was, he knew it was only getting bigger.

The only amusing part was, it made Baria go red everytime. The usually well put together shapeshifter seemed to get red in the face everytime he saw Peter, especially when he was eating.

Peter wanted to test this theory, inviting Baria out for dinner. Though he was already there, he had order quite literally most one of everything. It took up the entire table, and did in fact make Barias cheeks red.

"think you got enough?" Baria commented as he sat, clearing his throat a bit.

"mm... Yea, but i could always go for more." Peter shrugged, slowly taking a bite.

Baria nodded slowly, his cheeks seemed to get redder, "i heard youre going to take time off from spider-man... Was Miles just going to take over?" He asked quickly, in the attempt to make conversation.

"ya, thats sorta the plan..." He smacked his belly, "a bit more than out of commission for that now." Peter said jokingly.

Baria swallowed, "y-yea i suppose... No one found a cure for that yet?'

Peter shook his head, taking a giant bite of a oancake. He chewed and some syrup dripped down his chin. "Not a single clue, guess im stuck this way."

A slow nod was the response.

Peter smiled, it was cute seeing Baria flustered. He didnt usually get this way, it was nice to see. "You dont mind right?" He asked.

Baria stiffened, "n-not at all."

"thanks, cause i wouldnt mind going out with you again " he took a giant gob of whipped cream and shoved it in his face.

Baria flushed more, "are.. do you want me to be your

.."

"boyfriend? Yea." Peter said casually.

Baria looked ready to explode.

"of course! I um... Yea, id love to do this again." He smiled happily, his glow bright as he shifted in his seat.

Peter smiled, eating more food, he could feel his stomach enter that familiar fullness. Though this time he pushed it. he could feel his stomach begin to bloat because of it. He was happy that he could now officially be dating Baria though.

He remembered first meeting Baria, he had used his powers to sneak into the tower as clint. That didnt last too long, but he got far. Tony had offered special training in exchange for dropping the breaking and entering charges.

Who else to train a shapeshifter like a Spider-Man?

Baria continued blushing as Peter leaned back, his belly pushing out past his waist band as it grew toght. Baria swallowed hard.

He cod tell this was going to be a long dinner.

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uncreativc · 4 years

Text

* ♡ ╰ wong yukhei. twenty three. cismale + he/him ⁄ any time kendal zheng is in the test kitchen they play boogie by brockhampton. the leo sign has been working at that’s amore for two years as a sugar rusher. since then the ebullient has built a reputation for being goofy & bold but also childish & stubborn. could that be the the reason why their palate enjoys shrimp and pb & j sandwiches ? but it for sure explains why crude drawings on recipes, worn baseball hats, weird late night texts, being loudest person at a party remind me of them. ☇ mars. 18+. she/they. est.

yeah yeah go ahead and say it mars late mars never on time :rolls_eyes:. mars doesnt even know the concept of time so yeah thats who i am and yeah i orbit around nothing thats why my names mars. this is my Himbo kendal no relation to jenner but he might joke about being part of the kardashians. this took way longer than i wanted it too but thats okay watched a video the other day that was doing pokemon races and shuckle won so :D below will be like a semblance of a bio

P I N T E R E S T | D O S S I E R

google searches include: how many teeth do i have, are we running out of almonds, why do people eat corn off the cob, how much would a pyramid cost, am i in a pyramid scheme, if you die on an operating table and come back to life is your birthday changed?

SUUUUPER competitve if there is challenge videos coming out you know hes trying to get in on that. stuck a marble up his nose once to prove he could do it put an entire cupcake in his massive ass mouth no one would stop him. ATE A SPOONFUL OF WASABI FOR WHAT?!

kendal is a middle child and it defintiely shows, their dumbass chaotic nature was definitely born out of being neglected and forgotten about. living in a shadow wasnt the greatest for them and then not even getting the attention of being a baby for long by his moms did their best to be equal with them all but kendal felt ****it****. they play it off as just being goofy and playful most of the time but he can get up to some real trouble when he feels like it. mostly out of just making bad decisions

too much energy - talks too much and is bad for interrupting he generally doesnt really have anything of use to add to a conversation other than weird stories, strange questions, and weird conspiracy theories but hes fun and loud and loves to be the centre of attention. this can be annoying honesly hes friendly and loyal he’d never turn someone down till the day he dies its just... bro is a lot to deal with sometimes hes so much of a loud ass clown and go against clearly something you told him not to do like jump up on a table leave a complete mess in the kitchen squeeze toothpaste in the middle of the tube. you know shit like that.

definitely is scared easily like you could easily scare him in the kitchen hes scared of the most stupid things like dark mirrors, his hair blowing off his body and landing on a dead body and him becoming a suspect for a murder.

he loooooves camping which is kinda funny for someone who gets scared about the most irrational things. does he think a bear is gonna come and rip his tent apart? yeah probably but he still likes it. defintiely went to boy scouts growing up earned a lot of badges learned how to tie knots you know the usual. only had his moms cheat and make him patches like... once or twice.

probably forgot it was your birthday or that you invited him out to something. you know the nana you have that never remembers and just sends random gifts and they say happy birthday. yeah thats him.

a little oblivious he wont know if youve caught feelings for him and assumes everything is just playful until otherwise told thats what he gets for flirting too much without even realizing. it gets him into trouble because people think they have something and he’s just like :O i thought we were just bros. maybe if he wasnt so flirty and dumb this wouldnt be a problem but its not going to stop him any time soon. hes very casually flirty with everyone he meets honestly. hes just a goof and a lot of times that shit comes off as super flirting and if you think it is.... youre right!

hes definitely more of a house party kind of guy or get his and sit on the back porch and launch water ballooons at a friend down on the ground. yeah he probably got a concussion from that once because he didnt realize that whiplash is a thing like a true idiot and it definitely knocked him out cold.

has a peanut allergy jokes about either living by the sword that he does not have but swears that he does or die by his peanut allergy.

likes mood rings pokemon cards and worm on a string. yes hes made people worm on a string before as pretty much a friendship bracelet. imagine a dude at a party blasted out of his mind coming up to you and handing you a worm on a string and saying youre his friend and that you deserve this.

hes a cowboy grew up in the south and definitely plays that up loves dirt biking rock climbing and pretty much everything that doesnt entirely involve working on his farm like he doesnt like horses but does like goats you know?

asked for an extension through email on his wiiu because he lost his computer somewhere

organized mess. you know that chapstick you dropped like three weeks ago he left it there because he knows exactly where it is. like he could just keep things tidy but what would be the fun in that. doesnt follow recipes like ever just kind of tries to eyeball and remember how things were made

WANTED CONS

tinder date/ set ups that either led to something or didnt

good friend who hacked their instagram one night and started responding to dms just funny doesnt have to been anything crude. they do it to each other some nights like just hang out

hookups. good or bad. one night stand or on going.

party friends he gave them a worm on a string or something got really fucked up and they tried to make like exactly mcdonlds nuggets the boot ones all night

they stole something from your muse ( bike, spatula, idk anything ) and they caught them LSMDLSMDLMDSLM

they stayed up one night and tried to fully solve a cold case even went to the library so late that they got kicked out. it was a long night full of energy drinks and crazy theories. they still do this sometimes now.

crushes they can be mutual or one sided i really dont mind. like i said before danny kind of gets crushes really easily and they kind of just dissapear out of nowhere as well but like we could work something out

exes good bad or indifferent i really dont mind

old childhod friends could be from summer camp or an old teammate when he used to play more sports, could be literally anything i am down i love past connects

roommates PLEASE

made edibles that were too strong together ended fucking them over for days

they movie hoped or dine and dashed together like i really dont mind just something funny

someone he makes videos with id love to brainstorm a really stupid like alt series with another sugar rusher or maybe not even a sugar rusher im down for anything

rock climbing/paint ball/laser tag friends? video games like smash or something theyre super competitve together

im good for plotting anything

#amore:intro #〘 ˓ 𝘍𝘐𝘓𝘌𝘋 — 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟 ˒ 𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑑 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑑𝑒 〙#/ yup late :D

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grimms-the-daydream-believer · 5 years

Note

go big or go home, lets have all of em

oh my lord lasagna. i dont expect anything less from you, tho

1 - one text you wish you’d sent?

this is a little oddly specific but... i can give you the context if you want ig.

“when i say “you don’t care about my mental health”, i dont mean anything to do with my other friends. i mean that you have called me annoying to my face, said you liked the “old [real name]”, told me it was annoying when i expressed my depressed thoughts, was embarrassed of one of my stress toys to the point i stopped bring it, and outright didn’t care when i was screaming, drowning for help. so yeah, dont make this about my other friends.”

2 - can only talk to one person for the rest of your life, who is it?

sorry lasagna i love you to death but probably @minamishipsit-secondround

3 - guiltiest pleasure?

80s boy bands are the shit thats all.

4 - what do you do when you’re sad to cheer yourself up?

i listen to the monkees and the beatles of course!!! or watch the monkees, i have my favorite episode recorded so i always watch that :)))

5 - who’s your inspiration?

i have a lot, but i suppose howard ashman. for those not in the know, he was a song writer for the little mermaid, pretty much my all time favorite movie. even when i was a smol child and didnt read the credits i knew his name and i love all his work.

6 - something you want but are afraid to ask for?

a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a datemate or whatever.

7 - do you think you have big or small dick energy?

good question. i feel like i pretend to have big dick energy but truthfully i have moderatly sized dick energy.

8 - your favourite daydream?

idk if its a daydream but theres this one situation i always imagine for one of my ships and its just. really soft. thats all.

9 - happiest memory this week?

uhhh playing with my kitties or when i found out i got an a on my math test.

10 - if you could change one thing what would it be?

just? in general? about me? anything? personally id like to not be a depresso bean but oh well.

11 - ultimate goal?

i wanna... i wanna be happy. i wanna be content. i wanna be okay. i wanna be living. i wanna be alive.

i hope one day i will get better. and i will wake up a house of my own with a family of my own and happiness of my own. while money and fame would be nice, thats not what i truely want extremly. so, thats my goal. to keep living so one day i can have a wedding, one day i can have children, one day i can have a cat. thats all.

12 - are you a romantic?

well, heres the thing- ive never... been in a position in which i need to be romantic. essientally, ive never dated anyone. ever. so? i dont have any basis? im sure you can be romantic Not in a relationship but yknow.

13 - thoughts on dark academia?

not in it but it sounds cool :O endless its controversial then. it doesnt sound cool. i literally have not heard about it till today so if theres any discource about it i dont know.

14 - thoughts on ______

kpop, obviously suggested

well as we all know, im a classic rock stan and as we all know, classic rock and kpop stans are pitted against each other? for? some reason? unlike some other classic rock stans (no shade, if you hate kpop your valid you do you), i dont really hate kpop nor do i like it. ive never listened to any kpop bands (at least, upon my own will) so i dont wanna judge. i do hate the rivalry between kpop and classic rock but i aint gonna get into that

15 - further education, yes or no?

im probably gonna go to college, endless i “write a book now and get it published and be rich” which is my mom suggests i do but idk.

16 - your favourite conspiracy theory?

uhhh the first one that comes to mind is paul is dead. i dont believe in it, of course, but i just find all the “facts” incredibly interesting. anyone knows i could and i will info dump about it on anyone.

17 - an unpopular opinion?

mushrooms are the shit anti-mushroomers dni i dont need this kind of negativity in my life

18 - Polaroids or digital photos?

polaroids cause thats #aesthetic

19 - board games or phone games?

board games!!! i love board games a lot, i wish my family did a family game night but oh well

20 - which season do you think you represent, but which would you like to be?

i feel llike i would repersent fall. a strange middle season, rarely consitent weather, not as loved as summer but not as hated as winter. just kind of exists. some people find it utterly pretty and other people despise it relentlessly. everything is dying yet, everything is beauitful.

id like to be spring, spring is practically fall just better. instead of dying, things are growing, its all non-arguably beauitful, sitting outside on a cool spring day is such a site. its got some funky weather but its the tunnel towards the light- summer, the most beloved season. unlike fall, which is the gateway away from summer and slowly leads into the harsh, cruel days of winter.

21 - your ideal aesthetic?

punk as fuck

22 - do you drink?

nah, thats illegal.

23 - something you’d like to say to your crush?

please hold my hand.

24 - something embarrassing that’s happened last recently?

one day i woke up and just went about my day, that was pretty embarrassing

25 - quiet nights in or nights out?

quiet nights :)

26 - your preferred art?

written if you count that.

27 - if you could get one tattoo what would it be?

uhhh probably a lyric from a song. take a giant step by the monkees, maybe?

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dierker · 7 years

Note

How do you think Jade would end up after a few centuries of godhood? Personally, I like the idea that she'd end up something like Princess Bubblegum, as far as her morality, but I'd like your take!

i like your bubblegum theory haha, does that mean rose can be marceline?? eyes emoji???

to answer this i think we first have to acknowledge the marianas trench-sized fissure between how jades arc should have gone vs what the author gave us. realistically we know we have a jade who, in childhood, prided herself consciously or not on being a puppetmaster. she lines everything up the way it needs to be, shes privy to cosmic secrets far before her friends, and contrasted with roses god complex and paranoia we have a sort of benevolent, all-seeing trickster god in the form of a 13yo furry whos daily schedule involves putting the puzzle pieces together to make their transition into sburb.

then everything falls apart. we have jades brother - unknowingly - sell her out for the benefit of his friends, whos healthy dynamics and peaceful living conditions come at the price of jades happiness and sanity. i think its really hard for anyone to fathom what three years of isolation, trauma, and survivors guilt can do to someone who never even gave voice to the grief of being (purposefully?) left behind by a guardian. what hussie offers us is a jade who is completely willing to bounce back once she learns that her three years in the ninth circle of hell were somehow worth it because a troll who gave her narcoleptic fits for fun (seriously can you imagine vriska testing her psychic ability on jade hundreds of times over several hours because she thought it was funny to watch her fall over?) got brought back to life. we have a jade who is completely recognizable as the one we spent years with beforehand, without the marring of trauma and without even the slightest concern that HER MIND WAS HIJACKED TO ATTACK HER FRIENDS. grimbark, if narratively important at all, at the very least forced jade to confront the problems she had with other people - most notably, i think it would have been a good way to sort out her outstanding issues with davesprite. but this is also robbed from her in the retcon, and she becomes a sleeping afterthought whos deeply scarring emotional problems no one seems willing to acknowledge or address.

this is why the “ultimate self” speech bothers me. this is why “real people dont have character arcs” bothers me. the fact of the matter is, homestuck is fiction, and the characters are fictional, and characters need arcs so that the reader doesnt feel cheated into caring. thats like, how it works.

so there’s two roads diverging into a yellow wood, and i would prefer to take the one less traveled by. earth c snapchats show us a jade who has been shoehorned into a triad with the migraine brigade - despite daves and karkats previous discomfort with polyamory, not to mention that id imagine jade would want to make up for lost time and LIVE WITH HER BROTHER. we have a jade who has been, forgive the term, neutered of all narrative import as well as the bec powers that may have still made her feel powerful and in control. she has become a background character. im rejecting that! lets answer your question the way i think it should be answered.

overall i think this post does an amazing job of describing a centuries-old jade. as she ages i think trauma will harden over and we’ll be left with a jade who has a “good cherub” sense of morality... a lot like bubblegum, you might say! her childhood habit of being a puppetmaster - or as an inverted witch of space, a seer of time - might lead her to take on the mantle of being, once again, a benevolent and all-seeing god. i think she would isolate herself, deigning only to appear to the prospit kids as a sort of familial obligation. guilt and grief would propel her towards seeking justice in a larger cosmic scale. i feel jade would eventually live alone, recognizing that others can go on just fine without her. and nothing ever went wrong when she was on that island alone - everything was better off before she weaseled her way into peoples lives, which only left them grimdark and bullet-riddled. as a final regression into childhood fantasy, because i feel jade is a representation of childlike wonder in some ways, she would return to her initial solitude. in her mind, its the right thing to do.

and if no one is willing to recognize her pain or try to help her, theyll never get her back

#princess of my heart #thanks for asking!#Anonymous

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eagleslouis · 7 years

Note

I get what you mean! Is nice to just get this over with haha no! I can't haha sorry for the drama no I didn't mean I was forced but like nobody will ever considered not trying get into the universe the same year you're done with school you know? Like from all my school friends and classmates I can't think of anyone who didn't :( ah here is a bit different like we have university for free so we have a test of course we also have private universities but most of the best one are public one/ yeah

yeah it’s terrible like my grades were fine so everyone thought I was doing fine until I break down crying trying to sleep after that… I was pretty much dead inside lol yes I’m so grateful he was very helpful ❤ and thank you darling 🌟 I wish you all the best in the world 💕 🌠 oh my god! My cat does exactly the same!! I thought only cats did that?? Haha that’s so sweet!!!! Aww I think is more about the connection between the person and the animal then 😭💕 vet is the dream bc you spend yourtime with animals but I couldn’t handle see any of them sick or hurt 😭💔 yessss Steven’s mother is adorable 💕 and their friendship is so pure 🙏 yeah people are super bitter someone is treating Louis like he deserves to be treated 😔 I will try to find the picture buy he is holding a black cat and is sitting on a sofa I think the cat was his grandmother’s cat?? But I’m not sure kittens always prefer other kittens!!! Yes 👏 prove number 2 haha and true! That’s us with Louis haha 💙

i cant insert the little line because im on mobile but my reply is starting here jsjfjf. you said you had to wake up early today and bye because i woke up early (in my mind) too! i woke up at 9am and thats good tbh since i think i fell asleep around 1am. but anyway dont worry i understand!! college is so crazy to talk about since its so different everywhere 😫 but i would say its the same here with not taking gap years, like typically if people dont go to college the same year (or next) i think people just assume they arent going to college at all 🤷‍♀️. but im a little like uncomfortable that i wont be with my friends you know because one of my best friends is going to a college four hours away, but still in the state, where my other best friend is probably going to a school very close to me (we have like a college town, so just a lot of colleges in one small part of the city) but not the exact one you know? its annoying because i just got so confident this year in school having them around and now im going to have to repeat how i felt my first two years in school rip :((. but college free? SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM. the ones im looking at vary from probably $14k to $59k (but 59k is ABSOLUTELY a reach. i do not.. have that money) per year. but that includes tuition and room and board and personal expenses like everything. so thats why im always talking about needing a job to pay for it!! private schools and public schools tbh arent that severely different? it depends on the school id say but private schools are typically religious 😪 and way more expensive ofc.but anyway i just talked so much dkdkfj SORRY. im so sorry that you broke down and stuff though babe thats awful :(( yeah like even though most people didnt know (is kinda like that saying dont judge a book by its cover you know?), it is really really good that you had people around you 💓 and i know im like probably not much help lol but if you want you can always rant to me about anything! its definitely between the person and animals connection 😊 its sososo sweet like theyre the best 😭 my dog can always tell my mood to based just on the tone of my voice like!! what an angel!! also i know about the vet thing :(( i have a crazy story okay sorry but jsjfjc. two days ago there was literally a bird.. in my wall. like it was definitely in the wall (how it got there? NO IDEA) because i could hear it chirp (constantly. for like two hours.) and i heard it like? try to fly i think? i heard it like go against the wall if that makes sense. but anyway eventually it stopped chirping and my mom kept insisting it died but im like no!!!! i cant live knowing theres a dead bird in my wall 😭 we came to the theory that it just made its way out because.. i think it was too soon for it to die anyway? omg i hope so 🙏 but sorry!! that was kinda sad im sorry.

‘treating louis like he deserves’ i.. kno w. someone appreciating louis for louis and ignoring his relationship partner? realistic and well deserved. i really dont know that picture haha but if you do ever see it make sure to send it my way!! itll be evidence for that discourse if it ever starts 😎

#sorry omg #anonymous #ask

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bewvitched · 7 years

Note

what's the Mercy/Reaper thing tho?

ok so a bit of backstory first.

so im the kind of person who digs tf outta some conspiracy theories about characters and shit. i eat that up. im the ho that analyzes voice lines and timelines to come up with some crazy shit. i dont go lurking reddit, tho, keep that in mind. i come up with shit on my own from stuff ive heard in game. that i, myself, have heard. and this is why im fucked up.

a long long time ago i came up with this theory and i only ever talked about it with my friends. basically i theorized that mercy was doing experiments for reviving people on blackwatch prisoners. sort of like beta testing for her revival ult. now, the voice line that i initially remember, which im PRETTY SURE EXISTS BUT NOW WHO TF KNOWS is where mercy says,

“what happened to you, gabriel?”

and reaper responds,

“You tell me, Doc.”

and THEN i heard this next set MORE THAN ONCE AND I SWEAR ON MY LIFE I HEARD IT.

Mercy: “This is never what I intended for you, Gabriel.”

Reaper: “You knew exactly what you were doing.”

now, what fucks me up, is that apparently that last line doesnt exist. like at all. the OW devs confirmed this was NEVER EVER a line EVER nowhere in their scripts.

but apparently im NOT the only person who has heard this line. legit id thought this mercy created reaper thing was canon until today when there was a vid on youtube by Curse Entertainment where they explain that this isnt real. And they talk about all these places on the internet with bunches of people claiming theyve heard it. like me.

so bam. mandela effect. im super fucked up about it.

#overwatch #hawkefeathers

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comicteaparty · 6 years

Text

May 31st, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on May 31st, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Dawn of the Dad by AnitaComics.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY START!

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning~! Today we are discussing Dawn of the Dad by AnitaComics~! (https://tapas.io/series/Dawn-of-the-Dad) For those new or in need of a reminder, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer, and you can pay them no mind if you wish. If you miss out on any though, they’ll be pinned for the duration of the chat once they’re posted~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! As a bonus, each chat a top comment will be picked and featured in the archives and on an ad for CTP! All that being said, let’s get started and have a great discussion!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

snuffysam

Hmm... not really a scene, but I liked how the "insane janitor" was set up in the arc before he became relevant

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i really like the janitor's character in general

and really adore how his suspicious activity was this really benign hes got a boyfriend thing

snuffysam

yeah and he just doesn't want his family finding out

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

cause the rumors that were going around really remind me of how teens make things go out of proportion

snuffysam

becky's dad didn't exactly help

going straight to the principal's office and all that

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

becky's dad rarely helps XD youd think a ghost dad would be more useful cause he can pass through wall

snuffysam

he does mostly just fumble around and mess things up worse, doesn't he?

i guess he got the necklace off becky, but not on purpose

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

he is the one who came up with the vaccuum idea at least

snuffysam

true

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

speaking of favorite scenes, my favorite scene is the one where takehiko is trying to save becky and then roger comes out of nowhere and epic punches her and steals all his thunder

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I liked the scene where Dad tried to infiltrate the school as a "new student" and promptly lost track of the guy they were trying to tail.

snuffysam

and then how becky's dad gets mad at roger

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I think Dad is into cosplay.

snuffysam

he really does dress up a lot

to little success, given that the skull is kind of a dead giveaway

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

And yeah, the janitor arc was pretty neat.

snuffysam

that ones for you math

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Well played, snuffy.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i liked how in the blue goop ghost arc thing, w/e theyre called, that one teacher still was calling becky's dad the new student

snuffysam

p.h.l.u., yes

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yes, that was a nice callback.

I know that was a take on "flu" but did it say what it stood for?

snuffysam

it did, but i can't remember what it was

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Also, grandma. Whaaaat is the deal with her.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

the grandma must be cthulu clearly

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

There was that contract in the attic. That was an interesting scene too.

snuffysam

it's odd how nobody seems to have really noticed her strange behavior yet

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I think they must have noticed, like those people who came to the house with the exorcist and she was floating tea around. They must just accept it as normal somehow.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

it might be that the characters know and have no need to comment on it whereas for readers its a wtf thing.

yeah like math said

snuffysam

it's hard to say what is truly normal in this world

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

everybody just like "thats grandma being grandma"

i mean theyre pretty okay with becky's dad the way he is XD

snuffysam

the people at the morgue school are, but the teens at becky's old school flipped out

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Well, the kids at the new school are... snuffy beat me to it.

Though the exorcist seemed okay with it too, he was just worried about the rage issues.

snuffysam

yet body-snatching slugs apparently make the national news and nobody bats an eye

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Was it national news, or just the station granny likes to tune into?

snuffysam

hmm good question. this outbreak wasn't just in the school though, apparently

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Depends on where they play the soul music.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i would assume the supernatural is accepted but that people's interaction with it varies? so becky's old school friends panicked cause they dont get to see ghosts and zombies a whole lot

whereas the new school everyone is like "sounds like a normal tuesday"

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That seems reasonable. Dad said his presence was the exception rather than the rule. And ouija boards exist as a thing that still seemed to be on the "fringe".

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. against just a difference in exposure. like i know exorcists exist but ive never met one and im sure id be wtfing if i ever did meet one and witness their craft

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Exorcists are good at their arts and crafts.

snuffysam

becky really hasn't learned much exorcism yet, has she?

i guess that's probably a higher level class

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I think phys ed is where they do their exorcise.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

id assume itd be so. i mean becky is at the level where she has to dig graves and thats not really skilled labor persay O_O

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It's a grave matter.

Gotta ride that gravey train.

Do you dig it? ... I'll stop now.

snuffysam

maybe if she kept the amulet she'd have gotten to that level

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, kind of sad that it got smashed.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i see the pun train is going at full speed today for you math XDXD

maybe exorcism is an elective class and its one of those classes you take if youre intending that for a career

snuffysam

maybe. but i seem to recall the line "you realize what you'll be learning there" being tossed around, in reference to becky's dad being a ghost

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that could also be

QUESTION 2. Besides Becky, there are a slew of interesting side characters who have their own mysteries. What is Becky’s grandmother exactly? Who is Julie and why is she at such a supernatural school? Why do you think Julie became such fast friends with Becky, and will their friendship stand the test of time? What is the deal with Becky’s crush Roger, and do you think he and Becky will have a romance bloom between them? Given Takehiko’s recent death, do you think he’s gone for good, or do you think he will return in some manner? Are there any other characters that caught your eye and gave you interesting theories?

snuffysam

either takehiko comes back as a ghost, or this comic is way darker than i thought it would be

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeeeeah, I'm... kinda worried about the implications there. In this day and age of girls who should be able to turn down boys without repercussions.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

takehiko seems more likely to come back as a zombie to me as opposed to a ghost

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Julie's interesting. I think she likes Becky's fearlessness. But also to some degree the fact that Becky's not superior than her, I wonder if she felt a bit threatened when Becky was so organized. Like, she's moving up in the world and I'm not? Dunno.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

julie strikes me as one of those people who gets a friend they can feel superior to and pretty much boss around XD

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

She was rather unenthused by the love stuff too, despite trying to set Becky up on dates. Maybe she doesn't go for relationships.

snuffysam

yeah, i think she latched onto becky because she was knew and impressionable

and yeah, i can see that

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Also, Becky seems to be a supernatural magnet, and Julie seems to like adventure. She was very disappointed when the janitor thing turned out to be normal.

She being Julie.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that could be true too. rather than becky herself julie just latched on cause becky seemed like shed attract mischef

the real reason she wants becky to date roger

roger strikes me as either the character who is going to be from a professional undertaker family or a vampire

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe he's an exorcist.

Gotta choose Roger or Dad.

snuffysam

yeah, i think roger's parents are professional ghost hunters

and when the parents meet... oh boy

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

theyre professional something cause its heavily implied roger is rich

well the social class differences probably already going to cause problems

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe they even own the school

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i wonder...how becky's family is earning money to live. cause her dad has plenty of freetime to stalk becky at school. so like...are they just cashing in grandma's social security checks?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Grandma seems to have worked the dark magicks. I wonder if maybe she was indirectly responsible for the car crash.

snuffysam

i think grandma had saved up enough money for retirement, and that along with whatever becky's parents left behind is enough to live on

ooh maybe...

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

And now has infinite money or something.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

im still betting on grandma being cthulu. or maybe a dark servant of cthulu. or maybe grandma is an alien

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I'm torn between her knowing more about what's going on than the others... and less than what's going on, because she's forgotten. ^.^

snuffysam

she's a eldritch monster, but she's also senile

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Grandma is a Klingon?

Maybe it's just Dad dressed up as grand-- oh, they did that joke.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

im betting on the combo that she used to know more but now shes senile and old. just doesnt have the spring in her step like she used to

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

How the mighty have fallen.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i doubt she caused the car crash but she does open up the fact that becky may not be 100% human

maybe thats why becky is a supernatural magnet

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Becky's an alien too? (edited)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

supernatural creatures sense the dark eldritch magic inside her

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That's just heartburn.

snuffysam

if you think about it, not that many supernatural things attract themselves to becky

she caught the phlu, but otherwise... there was an amulet her grandma gave her, and a janitor who turned out to be ordinary

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

They're more attracted to her family.

I don't know that making planters out of skulls is exactly "ordinary" but I get your point.

snuffysam

she's done stuff with zombies, but so has everyone else at that school

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i guess thats a fair point

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

She did calm down her Dad and all.

And is pretty unflappable.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that could just be down to how long her dad has been a ghost

cause i think the car crash happened when she was 4?

its too bad becky didnt get to keep any of those skills passed on by her mother

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, pity about the pendant. I'm hoping she'll learn how to talk to spirits, as was hinted at after that.

snuffysam

maybe that's where takehiko's story goes

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It turns out he had this plot to become a spirit all along, and just had to do it in a way that would convince his family it was justified.

snuffysam

hmm possibly?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

He's going deep undercover.

snuffysam

maybe there's some deep underlying conspiracy that he's investigating...?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 3. One huge mystery that persists in the comic is why Becky’s dad came back after dying. What are your theories regarding why he returned from the dead? Was it because of his love and overprotective nature? Does he have unfinished business? Does it have to do with whatever Becky’s grandmother is? Additionally, why do you think Becky’s mom was unable to come back as well? Lastly, do you think Becky’s dad will eventually pass on for real during the course of the comic? If so, how do you think this will affect Becky?

snuffysam

i think that becky's dad told becky's mom that everything was taken care of, which is why she didn't come back, but he did because he knew it wasn't true

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

He's not really Becky's Dad. He's a spirit that Grandma tamed and hypnotized into believing he's Dad. That's why he's stuck in a skeleton.

snuffysam

now THAT'S a spicy theory

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thatd be so dark XD

im betting on the more traditional things that becky's dad has unfinished business whereas the mom led a good life with no regrets

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It's probably that he has some unfinished business, yeah. Maybe connected to Becky, maybe he made a promise or something.

What was his job before, do we know?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i dont think it was mentioned that i recall

he was a used car salesman

thus was indirectly responsible for the car crash

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

As for whether he'll pass on, I feel like that would be something to come at the end of the comic. Like, maybe when she graduates or something.

snuffysam

but nah i seriously think the reason is that dad told mom everything was taken care of, so she was able to pass on

as stated here: https://tapas.io/episode/763442

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Just seems too straightforward.

snuffysam

maybe

but if that's true, becky graduating would mean his unfinished business is done

either that or she graduates right before ghostbusting him

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i find the fact that someone's fault is lettered to have focus

and also cause in a car crash someone is generally always at fault

maybe what he means is its not someone's fault cause its his fault

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That's kind of what I interpreted that to mean. I thought maybe he made a wrong turn.

Or forgot to rotate the tires or something.

snuffysam

maybe mom was secretly evil, and her business was killing her husband by sabotaging the car

ergo it is finished

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Doesn't make sense why she'd be scared in the hospital though.

snuffysam

good actor

or scared dad was going to survive and she wasn't

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

being in a car you know is sabotaged is a pretty bold move for an evil person XD

couldve just sent dad out alone to get milk

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Were they actually in the car? Maybe a car ran into them while they were out for a stroll.

Dad being at fault because they were jaywalking.

snuffysam

there are lots of different definitions for "car accident", i suppose

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe Dad was prophecized to die, because of Grandma's contract. Maybe it was his fault because he should have taken the trip alone.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

its also possible he just couldnt pass on because of whatever grandma is

and she forgot to mention it

and will one day be like "oh yeah now i remember youre still here cause of this deal i made"

snuffysam

what if grandma wasn't always like this? what if she signed a pact with a demon to be immortal until becky is old enough to go off on her own, and that's why she's so weirdly demonic?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Demon seemed real keen to show grandma some contract in the attic too. Wonder why.

snuffysam

needs to be renewed, perhaps?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe it doesn't like being in Grandma any more.

Oh, that's a thought.

snuffysam

and if it isn't renewed, grandma and the eldritch horror will separate

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe the contract provides eldritch licensing. and because becky's dad is secretly part eldritch, without that contract renewel he doesnt have proper identification to get into the after life

and thats whats supposed to be taken care of

he knew about it but death was so traumatic his memory was wiped

snuffysam

that's possible

perhaps grandma cursed becky specifically with that contract? not sure why or how though

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe. although i wonder why else the grandma would want the contract. cause renewing is an option but i feel there must be other possibilities. like maybe she needs to shred it.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe the mom created the contract. She thought dad would take care of it, but he didn't know about it.

snuffysam

grandma is confirmed to be dad's mom, right? not mom's mom?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Is that confirmed? I'm not sure.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

it seems likely

cause he did call her mom at one point. which yeah inlaws can do that

but raises the liklihood theyre related

hard to say 100% tho

QUESTION 4. The comic’s format opens up a lot of possibilities for future scenarios. What sorts of supernatural elements are you hoping to see come up in the comic? Vampires? Ghosts? Werewolves? Whatever you’re hoping to see, how do you think it might come up in the comic (and how will Becky’s dad make things better or worse)? Speaking of scenarios, we’ve seen Becky have numerous supernatural based classes and activities, like digging a grave. What other sorts of activities do you think the school might showcase Becky as doing? Do you have any other theories regarding the future path of the comic?

snuffysam

we already have ghosts, rebel

thats day one

i think a field trip would be an interesting arc. maybe to somewhere particularly ghoul-infested

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

a field trip to a graveyard at night to watch a real ghost civil war reenactment

and you can never have too many ghosts O_O

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I'm kind of wondering about the parents of some of the other characters. Including that druggie guy in second year who doesn't seem to know what's up.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i do hope we get to explore some of the other character's lives

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe his parents are demon hunters or something.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

lest i assume everything is becky's imagination as she copes with the death of her family

i wish the druggie guy was in it a smidgen more in general though. he has underused potential

snuffysam

julie can apparently call up becky's dad to hang out and spy on becky whenever, but we haven't seen julie's parents at all yet

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe they're elves.

snuffysam

wh...why elves?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Aren't elves kind of loners who don't associate with normal folk?

snuffysam

i mean i guess

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I dunno.

I'm not too aware of supernatural things...

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

julie strikes me more as the type who is from a family of exorcists or something

i want druggie friend and becky's dad to hang out tho

and go on some sort of adventure

to help becky

idk what

snuffysam

becky's dad hates drugs though

but i suppose thats what makes the adventure fun

the conflicts and such

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It's clever how the Dad is able to get worked into things still, despite action happening at school.

snuffysam

yeah because he keeps showing up at school, despite the fact that he's not supposed to

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

oh maybe thats something that will change tho. not that the dad stops coming to school, but maybe hell get a job at the school

show up one day and be like "hi becky i work here now"

snuffysam

target practice

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

He's the model they have to draw in art class one day.

snuffysam

for the exorcist classes, that is

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

he can do all that and more. he is their new substitute teacher

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Kind of unrelated, but some of the perspective shots are interesting. They're things I wouldn't attempt at least, and they're pulled off. ^.^

snuffysam

the artwork in this is very well done

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i think the comic is fairly good at exaggeration. cause becky does lots of really over the top falls, and i think it really enhances the comedic value

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

And the Dad is an interesting artistic look. Not just the skeleton, but also the lack of feet.

snuffysam

and everything he does is so over the top too

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. i really love how the comic still makes him so expressive despite him being, ya know, a skeleton

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That's true!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i also love tho that even as a skeleton he has a mustache

snuffysam

he is a bona fide dad, after all

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

but now im wondering if its real or if he bought a costume one and glued it on

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I figure it's part of his cosplay thing.

snuffysam

how dare you suggest that becky's dad would ever disguise himself!

wait

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

He can be a bit of a drag.

Some of the background details are neat too. Like the 'don't revive the bus driver' sign. Also liked 2+2=Brains.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah the details are really admirable

this reminds me i really liked this page

https://tapas.io/episode/433213

where its becky's expectations vs reality

cause i like the bummer that nope, supernatural school is still school and school is not fun for teens

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Truth. I wonder how they advertise the school.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i wish we could see what their math problems are like. like do they do the standard train word problems or do they use more creative things. like ghost trains. and the answer is it doesnt matter what time the trains meet, theyre ghost trains so cant crash into each other.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Also, nice physics drop about vectors in there, that was accurate from what I know as a math teacher.

snuffysam

i don't think many people know about the school at all. this was just from becky being told "try supernatural school"

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i wonder if that exorcist who came to the house went to that school

snuffysam

probably. he had to go somewhere

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe they should make commercials to promote it. Next arc. ^.-

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

well there could be more supernatural schools. or trade schools. he couldve gone to Exorcist High or something

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

"You don't have a High until you have an Exorcist High."

I wonder what Dad does when he's not with Becky. Plays cards with Grandma?

snuffysam

worries about becky

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

wait around until his dad senses tingle

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe that's why he keeps interfering. He gets bored.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

well he doesnt have a job

he looks like a golf dad tho

maybe he practices his golf swing

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Can spirits get jobs? I feel like that'd cause problems for the economy.

snuffysam

it's not like they're exactly common

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah although he doesnt need a job. cause i imagine as a spirit he doesnt need to eat or anything

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

True. Well, here's hoping Becky can work things out. And if not, maybe she can run off and have a romance with Julie.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

he can just float around and survive

i was waiting for your ship and there it is

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

right in the last minute

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Just got it in.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY END!

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party time is now up~! Thank you everyone so much for reading and joining this week’s chat~! We want to give a special thank you to AnitaComics, as well, for making Dawn of the Dad and volunteering it for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support AnitaComics’s efforts however you’re able to. All that being said, if you would like to continue discussing this week’s comic, we highly encourage you to do so~!

For next week, Comic Tea Party will focus on The Pale by Jay Fabares & Sanders Fabares. As always, please use the next several days to read as much of the comic as you would like. We hope to see you next Thursday on June 7th from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat~! Until then, happy reading~! Comic: https://tapas.io/series/The-Pale(edited)

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #bookclub #comic bookclub #webcomic bookclub #start faire #startfaire #comic tea party #ctp #dawn of the dad #anitacomics

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yourcertainstudentlight-blog · 6 years

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Average cost of auto insurance for a truck per month?

"Average cost of auto insurance for a truck per month?

Average cost of auto insurance for a truck per month?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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my friend hit a car the other day but he has no insurance,the damage done to his car was very minor and he only scuffed the bumper of the other car, it appears the other driver wants to claim, should my friend admit to no insurance ? please help ive run out of ideas for him..............""

Where can I find affordable dental insurance for my father?

He is 50+, I live in Michigan,help please?? I tried looking, but no progress. I want him to get something affordable so he can have better and healthier teeth. Thank you, Jenn""

Car insurance for golf?

i am currently getting quoted silly money ask you can imagine for a golf as I am a 17 year old male which just passed. may be a silly question but is there any reasonable insurance companies out there or anyway round it to make it cheaper !?

Does it cost anymore to be named on someone else's insurance policycy?

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- 16 Year old ; Male - Just got my license - From Massachusetts - Took Drivers Ed I'm looking at a Scion Tc. The money I have saved up is there for the car. I am just worried on ...show more

Car insurance advice needed?

My nephew passed his driving test yesterday and has a P reg Volkswagon Polo for his first car. I've seen adverts on the tele for Direct Line car insurance and they aren't on comparison websites, does anybody know if they are averagely cheaper or not? Are there any other companies that don't appear on comparison websites? Thanks.""

Average cost of auto insurance for a truck per month?

Car insurance?

is it possible to have two inurance policies on one car?im wanting to get insured to drive my brothers car so do i have to be a named driver on his insurance policy or can i have my own?thanks!

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Im considering buying a pre-owned 1995 camaro for my first car. How do I find out how much the yearly insurance would be? Its not a convertible, and also its through allstate in new york. Would it be more than a 1998 maxima?""

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how much would you thing it would cost in insurance for a 19 year old to own a 08 or a 09 Yamaha R6

Car insurance?

im 17 and learning to drive my mum has a black small car ( not sure what make) im a girl houw much would insurance be any sites help

Does anyone know any cheap car insurance for young driver?

i passed my driving about a year ago and still not driving (shocking, i know) all the insurance are so expensive even for a 1.0 liter engine, please give me some companies that will provide me with cheap insurance please. i am only 18. please help. thank you""

Cheapest auto insurance company?

Currently have Geico. paying close to 2k / year for auto insurance (full cover). Can anyone recommend a cheaper insurance company? I have 13 years of driving experience with clean record (not a single traffic violation or speeding ticket)

How To Get The Best Homeowners Insurance?

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Im looking for medical insurance in connecticut that covers ivf treatments completely and consultation fees please help!! Thanksss :)

How do i get my car on the road and for how much?

i just bought my 1993 honda civic lx, and i live in ontario. the sale was a private sale..what do i have to do now? ive only paid for the car...do i have to get insurance before i register it? and what about taxes? and safety and etest? and plates? how do i do it?""

Question about insurance?

Okay So i have two insurance companies that im covered by... One for my car and one for my motorcycle. If I get a speeding ticket are you supposed to report it to both companies or just the insurance that i got the ticket on?

What will happen when I lose my insurance?

I'm 19 years old, and i'm currently receiving my dads insurance. He is on blue cross blue shield, and I can use his insurance until i'm 26 as long as i'm in college. Well...I'm moving in June and I will be taking a break from college. I'll also be moving out of state in which case I have no clue if the insurance will cover me there. I haven't done jack squat with signing up for my own insurance because I also have a health care card through the state. When I move and I lose my insurance how do I go about signing up for new insurance? I'm planning to get insurance through an employer and sign up once I finish my first 3 months. I don't mind being without insurance for a few months because i'm getting all of my health care/vision/dental done right now. I heard that the Affordable Care Act has deadlines and that you won't be able to sign up for a plan until 2015? Also does that mean I'll be fined for no longer having insurance? I'm so confused.""

How much would car insurance cost for a 2008 Ferrari F430?

I meant around how much would it cost say if i was 18 how much would it cost?

How would insurance work in college?

When I go to college, how would I be able to receive insurance, to go to the Dentist or Doctor?""

Will I make my bf's parents' car insurance rates go up?

I've lived with my boyfriend and his family for a little over a year now(I pay rent). I am 19 and do not have my license. I have relied on carpools and the bus so it wasn't an issue. Now, I am planning to buy a used car, take the road test and get my own auto insurance. The thing is, they would most likely complain if this would increase their rates. I wish I could just pay a high rate alone- what would be the difference if I just rented a room in a strangers house??lol. I think that it would affect them, but does anyone know for sure?""

""I am 18 and can't find car insurance under 2000, does anyone know anywhere?

its insurance for a toyota yaris 2003 Y reg 3 door hatch back for an 18 year old boy with a 1 month old full uk lisence.

I need insurance on my car and need to keep the cost low as possible?

Will it be ok to cut out the no claims protection or is this a must, I have over ten years, is there any other way to keep it low. Thanks""

How much should car insurance cost?

i am 17 and live in London. i have just passed my driving test and i'm looking for a car and insurance. i am not bothered about how bad the car is but i can't find insurance anywhere which i can afford. does anyone have advice?

How does insurance work?

How does insurance work? like im really not sure.. do you pay into it every month?

What are insurance company for?

My car was a total loss the insurance company paid what the car was worth but not the finance charges. How do this work? I thought your insurance paid everthing and everything was a lump sum

How much would insuring my car for just one day cost?

How much would it normally cost? it's a bmw 530i for just one day plz let me know :)

Best individual health insurance plan?

My husband and I just found out that his company is raising our medical insurance rates from $212 a month to $400 a month, so we are trying to shop around for the best rates. We have found some, but hardly any include maternity benefits, and we want that parachute just in case any accidents happen. Is there any plans out there cheaper than $400 with maternity, or should we just hope we don't get pregnant for a couple of years? (We plan to switch insurance in 2 years when I get a teaching job)""

Car insurance questions?

I was parked in front of my house and a lady came along and hit my car totalling it by the looks. I think I just signed up for basic insurance. Because she hit my parked car, is the towing and cost for keeping my car covered on my insurance or hers? And also don't know if I can get a car rental at all? And I was also wondering if the car is totalled will they pay me to get a new car? Or just pay me some money back for the car? It says under collision actual cash value. Thanks for any answers because I can not figure out what I have on this paper or if it goes on hers!""

Insurance cost for brother with 3 points on his license age 20?

he got 3 points age 14, TWOC, now wants a car, how much do you think insurance will cost?""

How much will my insurance rise?

I recently got a speeding ticket for going 9 over in a school zone as well as one for talking on a cell phone in a school zone. I was curious as to how much my insurance will rise. I am 18 and recieved the ticket in Texas. This is my first offense(s). How many points for insurance is a cell phone ticket? Thanks so much!

Can a vehicle get insurance by someone other than vehicle owner?

Average cost of auto insurance for a truck per month?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/would-cost-alot-add-second-weekend-car-onto-my-daryl-preisentanz"

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tuthillscopes-blog · 7 years

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Genius by numbers: why Hollywood maths movies don't add up

check it out @ https://tuthillscopes.com/genius-by-numbers-why-hollywood-maths-movies-dont-add-up/

Genius by numbers: why Hollywood maths movies don't add up

From The Beautiful Mind towards the Theory of all things anf the husband Who Understood Infinity, Hollywood loves a math wizzard. Why cant it get past the fevered prodigy scribbling equations on home windows?

In the Tina Fey sitcom Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, wealthy Manhattanite Jacqueline Vorhees wails to her assistant that they cant manage to get divorced. Despite the fact that shed get $1m for each year of her marriage.

I spend 100 grand per month. Ill be broke in ten years, she wails. No, thats wrong, counters Kimmy (Ellie Kemper), who scribbles some sums having a marker on Mrs Vorheess window. So $100,000 occasions 12 several weeks. Thats $1.2m annually. Divide that into $12m, you will find, youd be broke in ten years. However if you simply invest a lot of it, presuming a 7% rate of return, while using compound interest formula, your hard earned money would almost double.

Kimmy turns round triumphantly: Mrs Voorhees, I mathed, and you may get divorced! Mrs Vorhees eyes Kimmy narrowly. Individuals aren’t, she complains, erasable markers. What she doesnt mention is the fact that math isnt a verb. Not.

The scene is, amongst other things, Feys satire from the Hollywood cliche of genius squiggling on glass. In A Beautiful Mind (2001), for example, Russell Crowe, playing troubled maths star John Forbes Nash Jr, writes formulae on his dorm window. This scene is echoed in The Social Network (2010), where Andrew Garfield sets the equations for Facebooks business design on the Harvard window while Jesse Eisenbergs Mark Zuckerberg looks on. Within the opening scene of excellent Will Hunting (1997), janitor prodigy Matt Damon writes equations on the bathroom mirror.

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So why do a lot of Hollywood maths whizzes forego paper? Stanford mathematician Keith Devlin explains. Depicting a math wizzard scribbling formulas on the piece of paper is much more accurate, however it certainly doesnt convey the look of the person amorously involved with mathematics, along with seeing someone write individuals formulas in steam on the mirror or perhaps in wax on the window, neither is it as being cinematographically dramatic.

Good point. Whenever we see a Beautiful Mind and appear with the window at our Russ, Hollywoods most built math wizzard (counterexamples on postcards, please show your workings), we pass beyond incomprehensive equations and convince ourselves were seeing Genius at the office. Even when, as some critics have complained uncharitably, Russs pi glyphs, greater-than and fewer-than symbols and the like dont seem sensible.

But theres one other way maths movies can confound the Monotony Equation, namely by departing a black hole in which the maths ought to be. The Man Who Knew Infinity, the brand new film starring Dev Patel and Jeremy Irons concerning the great Indian math wizzard Srinivasa Ramanujan, is intriguing in this way. Although we have seen Ramanujan doing maths, mostly the show has an interest in other activities how he falls deeply in love with his wife, the discomfort of separation as he travels from Madras to review at Cambridge, the racism he suffers in England and, most stirringly, the narrative arc from lowly clerk to globally recognised math wizzard.

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Hollywoods most built mathematician Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind. Photograph: Universal Studios

That said, the film has its charming moments. When Hardy visits Ramanujan in a nursing home, he complains about the boring number of the cab that brought him there. Ramanujan begs to differ: 1,729 is the smallest that is expressible as the sum of two cubes in two different ways. Today 1,729 is known as the Hardy-Ramanujan number. How does that work, you may be wondering? Like this: 1729 = 13 + 123 = 93 + 103.

Ramanujans mentor GH Hardy (Irons) is an atheist and rationalist, exasperated that this Indian prodigy cannot produce proofs for his work and, worse, is doubtful that proofs can explain the inexplicable. You wanted to know how I get my ideas, says Ramanujan. God speaks to me. But while the film may sketch two different mathematical philosophies, we leave the cinema with a warm glow that comes from anything but hard thinking.

If you want to learn some more about Ramanujans contribution to mathematics, rent High School Musical. Freeze-frame it at the moment brainy Gabriella Montez challenges her teacher. On the board are two of the equations of the inverse of the constant pi (1/) that Ramanujan offered in his first paper published in England. Shouldnt the second equation read 16 over pi? asks Gabriella. Of course it should.

Cinema often struggles with dramatising difficult ideas, particularly if they are abstract. One way of overcoming that problem is by metaphorical explanation. For instance, in Nicholas Roegs Insignificance (1985), a Marilyn Monroe-like character demonstrates relativity using toy trains and flashing lights. In The Theory of Everything, Jane Hawking uses a pea and a potato to explain the difference between quantum theory and general relativity, while her husbands friends explain Hawking Radiation with beers and crisps.

Movie explanations of difficult stuff, though, may obscure rather than enlighten. Whats more, some directors know this and have fun pointing out the shortcomings of their medium and those of their audiences. In Adam McKays The Big Short (2016), for example, Margot Robbie sits inside a tub sipping champagne and describing how sub-prime loans work. Her explanation is doubtless coherent, however when Im searching in a beautiful lady inside a bubble bath, I am not considering credit default swaps. So sue me. Later within the film, chef Anthony Bourdain chops fish in the kitchen while describing how collateralised debt obligations work. Finally, Selena Gomez plays roulette as one example of the thought of gambling on other bands gambles.

Each scene works as a parody of explanation. They are members of a movie that mocks you, you poor jerk, as well as your intellectual aspirations. You are not ever likely to know how difficult stuff works from watching movies, however much youd prefer to.

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Sometimes, though, cinema can provide a genuine understanding of the intellectual process. In Agora (2009), Rachel Weisz as ancient philosopher Hypatia does a test on the shipped to test relative motion. If, she hypothesises, you drop huge sack in the mast as the ship is continuing to move forward, it’ll fall around the deck several ft behind the mast. The sack is dropped and falls much nearer to the mast than she predicted. Hypatia claps her hands in delight. However, you were wrong! states the ships captain. Yes, but it’s definitive proof! The sack behaves as though the boat were stationary.

What am i saying?

I do not know. However the identical principle could be relevant to our planet. It may be getting around the sun’s rays without us realising.

Hypatia, in other words, infers an innovative heliocentric cosmology from her falsified hypothesis. The show thus generously provides for us what we should are effectively denied in Good Will Hunting or perhaps a Beautiful Mind the news about how someone clever is considering an issue. Furthermore, its an antidote to Hollywoods vision of genius. It shows that getting stuff wrong reaches least as vital within the story of human intellectual progress to be right constantly.

Maths is frequently reduced to simply a MacGuffin. In Rushmore (1998), for example, Max Fischer (Jason Schwartzman) is studying the newspaper while his teacher informs his class that around the blackboard may be the hardest geometry equation on the planet. What credits would anybody solving it get, asks one student. Well, thinking about Ive never witnessed anybody understand it properly, including my mentor Dr Leaky at Durch, I suppose if anybody here can solve this problem, Id ensure that none individuals have to spread out another math book again throughout your lives.

Thus enticed, Fischer folds his paper and would go to the blackboard, and squiggles his solution while nonchalantly sipping espresso. The show at this time is not to declare but Fischers genius. Will we really believe Jason Schwartzmann can compute the region of the ellipse? Sure. Whatever.

Genius squiggling can there be once more just to assist Hollywood tell the sentimental story it never tires of: namely the storyline of somebody usually borderline demented by definition insufficiently recognised sticking it towards the establishment.

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Genius squiggling Rushmore

None of this should suggest we cant learn maths from movies. In Tina Feys Mean Girls (2004), for example, Lindsay Lohan plays a finalist in the Illinois high school mathletes state championship. Will her Northern Coast High team place it to individuals prep school toffs opposite? Heres the initial question: Two times the bigger of two figures is three greater than five occasions the smaller sized, and the sum of the four occasions the bigger and three occasions the smaller sized is 71. Do you know the figures? First got it yet? 14 and 5. Within the finish, Lohans team end up being the new condition champs because she wins the sudden dying tie-break. Exactly what does the scene prove? That individuals individuals who thought She no longer can do maths should certainly talk to her.

Possibly probably the most resonant maths scene in Hollywood cinema, though, comes in an exceedingly old comedy. Within the Abbott and Costello movie Within the Navy (1941), Lou is really a ships prepare. Hes baked 28 doughnuts, which he reckons is just enough to give 13 to each of his seven officers. But seven adopts 28 four occasions, objects Lous straight man. Not too, states Lou, who procedes to prove it around the blackboard inside a masterclass of cheating and illusion. The scene demonstrates an over-all truth, namely that whenever Hollywood does maths, it doesnt always accumulate.

The Man Who Knew Infinity is released on 8 April.

Find out more: http://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/apr/06/mathematics-movies-the-man-who-knew-infinity

#Culture #Film #Mathematics #Rushmore #Russell Crowe #Science #The Big Short #The Man Who Knew Infinity #Tina Fey

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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After 5 Years Of Relying On Medication, I Can Finally Sleep

Its been a long time since Ive written anything. And while my intentions were to blog every fortnight, this post has been extremely tough to write. For once I found it quite difficult to articulate my feelings and experiences, because of the personal nature of what I’m about to tell you.

A few weeks ago, I found myself chatting to one of my new friends, who is also an amazing business coach and mentor. He asked me how things were going aside from business, how are you feeling, just in general?. I thought about it and said, did you know, this is the first time in five years that Ive been able to sleep without taking a pill?

Insomnia has been affecting my ability to sleep properly since late 2010. It was kicked off by a freak hockey ball to the head incident, which then transpired into mental health problems (thanks, brain). Around 1 in 3 people have or have had some degree of insomnia in their lives. For an unlucky few (like me) insomnia is/was chronic. If youre one of them and are reading this, know that its okay, there IS a way out.

Back in 2010 I got a wild smack to the forehead from a fast flying hockey ball, I was briefly knocked out and I opened my eyes not even realizing what had happened, but bizarrely, I was laughing! It wasnt until I felt the huge lump on my head that it suddenly hit me (hah, pun intended). Soon after this, I had developed intense trouble sleeping and experienced extreme headaches and photophobia.

In my traditional headstrong fashion I refused to go to the doctor, that was a bad decision. Months later things seemed to be getting worse in my head space. After seeing a bunch of specialists and getting an MRI and all that, it was concluded that I had Post Concussion Syndrome (a minor form of traumatic brain injury).

Because of this, my health took a drastic downward spiral. I was lethargic, had constant headaches, was depressed, irritated, and slightly delusional. The doctors prescribed me dozens of painkillers to cope. I was studying a BMA at the time, and working so I could afford to live out of home and life spun out of my control. The brain does crazy things when it experiences trauma, and for a long long time I was not myself.

I was enrolled in a national head injury study. They interviewed me about the events and my experiences, then they interviewed some of my friends and family. Every six months my reaction time and short-term memory were tested, as well as my mood and general quality of life. It took almost two years for me to get back to normal. I dont know why it was such a long time, perhaps some people are more susceptible to these kinds of things. A lot of people in my family battle with mental illnesses. But even when I was feeling better, I still had to rely on medication to sleep.

Luckily for me, my doctors had refused to give me traditional sleeping pills such as Zopiclone, because of their addictive qualities. That was fine by me, I never intended to be stuck taking pills before bed. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldnt survive without them. At first it was Amitriptyline, a drug in high doses used to treat depression, but I was on it for headaches and as a muscle relaxant.

Sometime after I finished my degree in late 2012, I changed doctors due to not having access to the medical center on campus. My new doctor tried to wean me off taking the medication, I was all in. But it just didnt work. I went back to him after slowly reducing my intake at his guidance and tried a few months without anything. In mid-2013 I had more responsibility with my job which added some stress, and without any pills before bed I was getting between 1 and 5 hours sleep a night. I got sick a lot, gained a lot of weight, my mood was unstable, and I was quickly becoming very unhappy.

So I went back to my doctor, I was attempting to tell him that I still havent been able to sleep but I sat there crying in his office because I was just so exhausted and frustrated. I just wanted sleep. He recommended putting me through a sleep study and to see a sleep therapist, but this wasnt subsidized and I wasnt financially able to pay for such expensive tests (startup wages, am I right?). So, I opted for the easier just for now option. We tried something new, Quetiapine, an antipsychotic drug which in high doses is used to treat people who are bipolar or schizophrenic. I didnt get a large dose, only small enough to help me sleep. But even then I woke up every morning with a drug hangover and it took me hours every day before I could feel completely awake.

I lived like this for a long time, always having to take a pill before bed. Sometimes that didnt even work. I vividly remember how I felt after a huge hike over NZs Tongariro Crossing and then the 2-hour drive home. I was so tired, so exhausted after that I could hardly eat. I was thinking surely, surely I am this tired I must be able to sleep. But then as soon as my head hit the pillow my mind became awake, overactive and as much as I tried, I couldnt settle it down. A few hours later I begrudgingly got up and gulped down that damn pill, desperate for the relief of sleep.

This is when I started researching sleeping techniques. Over the past year and a half I have tried everything; yoga, meditation, walks in the evening, less coffee, less sugar, evening protein, writing down to-do lists and thoughts in a journal beside my bed, sleep tea, calm tea, chamomile tea, peppermint tea, Chinese herbs, sleep drops, lavender under my pillow, hops under my pillow, sleep apps with meditation, hypnosis, screen dimmers, installing Flux on my computer, melatonin, no screens (mobile, TV, Computer) two hours before bed, non-fictional reading before bed, homeopathy just everything.

Sometimes it would help, Id feel sleepy, try to drift off, then all of a sudden my mind would wake, even though Id be so so physically tired. I didnt know it was possible to feel so exhausted and awake at the same time. So I would carry on using my little pills to sleep and feeling hungover in the morning. I hated it, I never truly felt awake in all that time. And if I ever went somewhere and forgot my pills Id always get restless nights with little or no sleep.

A lot of time went past, living like this. After deciding to leave Hamilton to travel, I ended up in Perth, Australia. By the time I got here my little box of magic sleeping pills from New Zealand had run out. I attempted fate once more and tried to cold turkey my way to sleep. It really wasnt working out for me. The smallest noise, a single thought, any slight disturbance would set me off and my mind would begin racing once more. No matter what I did, I just couldnt sleep. There is nothing worse or more hopeless than the feeling of wanting and needing sleep so badly but you just cant get there and you realize your own mind is the only barrier to falling asleep. I remember thinking, how hopeless am I that I cant even perform the simple human function of sleeping?.

The one good thing that came out of these few weeks was my deep inner search for a reason. I didnt feel like my head injury was the cause of not being able to sleep, it just seemed like some sort of instigator. Im not going to share the details, but what I realized was that I had become afraid of sleep, and everything else was just an excuse.

I ended up seeing a wonderful doctor here who prescribed me some medication to sleep again and referred me to a counselor who specialized in sleep therapy. I gladly took the medication and debated whether I was ready for a counselor. I wanted to overcome my insomnia on my own (I had only just started acknowledging that this is really what I had), but sometimes you cant do everything on your own, sometimes you need to accept that you need a bit of a helping hand. And this is what I did.

The first session with my counselor was amazing. She knew what had happened without me having to say much, she said it and I sat there and cried. I cried as years of pent up emotion and holding back just escaped from me and it was so relieving. Her theory was I had developed an unconscious fear of sleeping because I lose control over myself and have to give in to the environment around me. I didnt feel . Of course, I knew logically that I was safe, but there was a deep fear within me that I had never let go of, a blocked memory; trauma. It had nothing to do with my head injury, that was a catalyst, as well as some other events that happened between then and now.

And so started my road to recovery. I went to the counselor once a fortnight. We didnt just talk about sleeping, we talked about a lot and it was really nice. I finally found an app that helped ease me into the sleeping mind-frame, Pzizz. Every morning within half an hour of waking up I get at least an hour of exercise outside. If not, I try to sit in the sun for 20 minutes or be active in some other way. I dont drink coffee after 3pm and limit myself to two a day (on bad days). I dont have much processed sugar, I write to-do lists every day in my diary so I dont lie in bed and think about everything I have to remember to do tomorrow. My bedroom has become an area for sleep every time I watch something on my laptop in bed it affects the amount and quality of sleep I get, so Ive stopped doing that.

Routines are also very important I do the same thing before bed every night. I also try to stick to the same hours, but Im still learning to sleep so I havent been using an alarm, just trying to slowly get back into the right rhythm. Right now I usually fall asleep between 12am, wake up at about 6, then go back to sleep until 9 or 10. Its not the pattern I love, and I still have many days where some nights are better than others, but Im getting there, Im improving and Im not giving up.

My mood has become better, my skin clearer, Im no longer getting sick every few weeks and my focus levels are at an all-time high. I still have a lot of work to do, but for the first time in over four years I can sleep without medication, and it feels so damn good.