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amesstm · 3 years

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The Suspended Cousin

WC: 1332

A/N: Have I hit a writer’s block? Maybe. Also, I’ll be creating a masterlist for this series so keep your eye out for that! I’ll probably edit this to the other parts.

P.S. If you guys want me to start making these longer as compared to short ones on a certain ‘schedule’, tell me!

series masterlist

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A soft knock came from your door. Yuki opened it to show Ushijima, who was slightly sweaty from his run. You had seen him run around the campus before school, only if you woke up early enough though. The only reason you’d willingly get out of bed that early was if you couldn’t sleep or you were really craving some street food as breakfast.

Maybe once your concussion heals, you should join him. Actually, his long legs would leave you in the dust. Unless you were going to miraculously grow a few inches, keeping up with him wasn’t going to be easy. Given that you were the libero for a reason, growing probably wasn’t going to happen.

Ushijima waited in your doorway, taking up the majority of its frame. Something about his chest heaving and hair clinging to his forehead from his sweat made your heart accelerate. You managed not to stutter, “Ah, good morning Ushijima.”

Yuki turned to you and winked. No doubt she was going to ask you about this later. You blushed and waved her off, to which she chuckled aloud. “See you two later.” Yuki sang.

You groaned internally, envisioning how you’d smack her later. For now, you put on your sunglasses and walked towards Ushijima. He walked a bit behind you before taking his place by your side. “Do you want me to carry you?”

You chuckled nervously, “No, no, I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

Upon nearing the stairs, nausea overwhelmed you. You always had a hard time with drastic changes in height if you were driving up or down a mountain. Perhaps it was the depth perception? You wouldn’t know, you’re not a doctor.

To your side, you felt a nudge on your hand. You looked up to see Ushijima, who was sheepishly reaching for your hand. “Yes Ushijima?”

“I thought you’d want to hold hands like yesterday.” He stated, simply blinking at you.

Was he being shy? How cute. You smiled reassuringly, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

After having your consent, his hand clutched yours gently. Of course, his hands were calloused but something about that made his secure hold more comforting. For such a big man that plays rough on the court, he was surprisingly gentle with everything else. No one would’ve thought that the stone-faced ace would be such a big teddy bear.

“Y/N, you’re red. Do you have a fever?” Ushijima asked, about to touch your forehead with his other hand.

“Nope!” You squeaked, “I’m fine!”

He didn’t ask any more questions – thank goodness. Until he did, “Do I know your cousin?”

You chuckled nervously, “I hope you don’t for your sake. He’s suspended right now.”

Ushijima looked at you with slightly widened eyes, no doubt thinking the worst of your cousin. You immediately went to your cousin’s defense. “N-no! It wasn’t for anything too serious. He just did something stupid to make his principal upset.”

Ushijima nodded, but didn’t look too convinced. “Is he as short as you?”

“Ehhhh?” You whined. “I’m not short! You’re just very tall.”

“That’s a fact,” Ushijima allowed. “But it’s also a fact that you’re short.”

You didn’t reply to that, knowing it was useless by now. But you did say, “Well, my cousin is very short now that I think about it. I am a bit taller than him, though!”

You realized you said the last part too confidently, but Ushijima displayed a small smile. His silence wasn’t awkward. On the contrary, it was comforting.

“Oh, I guess we’re at class now, aren’t we?” You chuckled. “Thank you, Ushijima. You don’t need to do anything for me the rest of the day.”

“I’ll still do something,” he deadpanned.

“I don’t doubt that Ushijima,” you said before waving goodbye. Of course, you’d still see him in some of your classes but you weren’t sure you could casually speak to him yet. Then again, Ushijima seemed to do whatever he wanted without much worry. So, there wasn’t much use in arguing with him either.

“Tendo, what do I do for Y/N?” Ushijima asked as his red-headed friend joined him for lunch. Despite asking such an out-of-character question, he casually ate his rice without any concern. But for everyone else, it might as well have been the first moon-landing.

“Are you finally making a move?” Semi asked, raising an eyebrow and lifting a small smile.

Ushijima nodded. As Tendo sat down, he drew a thoughtful expression. “I know that she really likes Pocky. If you get her the Cookies & Cream flavor, she’ll definitely fall in love with you.”

Against Ushijima's will, his cheeks blushed profusely. “She’ll love me?”

“Can our ace not understand sarcasm?” Goshiki mockingly asked.

Imaginary characters floated around Shirabu’s head, as if warning the first-year to tread carefully. The characters seemed to get the message across: Oh, you think you’re so good at picking up social cues? What makes you think you can even compare?

Effectively, Goshiki was silenced by his upperclassman. “A-anyways, how did you finally talk to Y/N-san? All you’ve ever done is stare at her.”

“I gave her a concussion when we practiced together,” Ushijima replied casually. He bit the inside of his cheek, feeling the same guilt from the day before.

So, I need to get a pretty girlfriend by giving her a concussion, too?! Goshiki internally screamed to himself. The poor first-year wheezed out, an imaginary ghost leaving his body.

Shirabu only blinked at the bowl-cut boy before returning his attention to Ushijima. “And now you’re her servant?”

“It’s not like that,” Ushijima defended, but didn’t portray any anger.

“I think it’s ‘cause he likes that,” Tendo said with a dirty smirk. Semi and Shirabu groaned, with Goshiki dying once more.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to accompany you to the café?” Ushijima asked as he walked you to the school gate.

You nodded with a smile on your face, “I’m sure. Have fun at practice, Ushijima!”

Before he could say anything else, you ran off. He knew you were just meeting up with your cousin, but he wished that he could have some more time with you. Ushijima frowned, clutching the pocky he had bought for you.

Oblivious to the boy you left behind, you journeyed to the café that your cousin said you’d meet at. You entered the restaurant and searched, looking for that familiar spiky hair. Huffing, you didn’t see that he was there yet. You sat down and decided to look at the menu.

Then, he arrived.

“Y/N!” You heard your cousin scream.

Although you cringed, you still smiled. The small boy wrapped you in a hug, making you giggle. “How are you, Yu-chan?”

Letting you go, your cousin grinned, with that classic Nishinoya grin from his side of the family. Although you smiled, your brain still throbbed. Perhaps you should’ve moved this to a different day. “Please don’t be so loud.”

“Wait a minute – do you have a concussion?” He asked, frowning with concern. “How’d you get it?”

“I was practicing with...” how should you address Ushijima? “Uhhh, someone.”

Yu sneered and started to make fists and throw jabs, “Well that someone is gonna get beat when I see them.”

Never in a thousand years would you want your family to fight with your crush. However, imagining Yu trying to fit someone literally twice his size made you giggle. “For your sake, don’t.”

“Do I need to remind you that I’m the best libero ever?”

You pursed your lips, not wanting to ensue another rant about his superiority. “No. But, just don’t please.”

He rolled his eyes, “Okay, fine. But I’ll get help from this guy I know if you want.”

Yu might’ve been just talking about some friend he had. Or, in the short time he’s been suspended, he had joined a yakuza. Either way, you knew that this simp would probably create a gang to protect you. If only you knew how that friend group would impact your relationship.

A/N: For clarification, you and Nishinoya are related through your mothers’ side so you can keep your last name lol. Plus, it won’t be too confusing if I need to use both of their last names later on :p

#Ushijima Wakatoshi #ushijima x reader #ushijima x y/n #ushiwaka #ushijima fic #hq nishinoya #haikyuu!!#semi eita #haikyuu tendou #TENDOU SATORI

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itbe-jess · 3 years

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Maslophobia: Chapter 8

Captured recorded audio of Karl Rodriguez having phone conversations with the formal Paradise Critter performers before their disappearances, including Karl’s himself.

Stevie: Yes?

Karl: STEVEN! How you do, how you do?

Stevie: Okay, who the hell is this?

Karl: What, you don't remember your old work buddy, Karl Rodriguez? Of Karl's Paradise?

Stevie: Oh, you. Just to state one fact: We aren't buddies. We just did work. The only time you've ever treated me like a friend was when I wore the freakin' dog costume. Second of all, what do you want?

Karl: Well, the REAL question is, what do YOU want?

Stevie: What do I want, what?

Karl: With your life, I mean. Have you ever considered getting into acting again? I just had the thought you were a man who looked into a brighter future.

Stevie: Well, I've been putting a lot of thought into it, continuing showbiz. What I want is more than just to hide my face behind some puppet costume. I wanna act. I also wanna write, and create.

Karl: That's interesting!

Stevie: But what I really wanna do is direct.

Karl: Oh! A little showbiz humor there!

Stevie: [*Chuckles*] Yeah. Say, Karl, I have another question.

Karl: Shoot.

Stevie: Why the fuck are you poking into my business like this?

Karl: Well, bet you haven't noticed, but I'm still doing work at Tam Studios!

Stevie: Great. How about telling me something I should care about?

Karl: No no no no, you don't understand, Stevie. I wanna help you pave your career way!

Stevie: What?

Karl: Help you find a new line of work! Tam is beginning the productions of an upcoming crime drama!

Stevie: Keep talking.

Karl: They're cast-calling for a slender, Caucasian man in his 20s, with flexible movement. I convinced them to put you up in that position, cuz I saw deep through those doggy eyes that you had potential. And it wasn't one of those non-speaking, background roles. No sir, this is supporting character we're talking.

Stevie: That's great! Hard to believe I've gone to a great start just by wearing a dog suit while somebody else dubbed over my lines! And if this role peaks, I could probably land myself in another rol- Hold it, hold it. Why do all this for me?

Karl: Well, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. You have always been my favorite, Steven. The others did a fantastic job, but you knew how to bring life into a character.

Stevie: I am, aren't I? Well, I do hold a few charms, here and there. Knew they'd come into full effect soon.

Karl: So, do you take the job?

Stevie: Hell yeah I want the job! And I'd like to thank you for it!

Karl: No need for that! Just doing a favor for my favorite performer! Come over to my place for your script, and I'll explain the details to you over coffee.

Stevie: Make mine extra dark.

Karl: With pleasure!

_____________________

Karl: Hello, hello?

Debbie: Hello, who is- Karl? Karl, is that you?

Karl: In the flesh! But as of right now, in the voice. And while you're still listening to it, Happy Birthday!

Debbie: Awwwww, that's awfully generous. But my birthday isn't until two more days.

Karl: It is? Ooooooh, damn.

Debbie: What is it?

Karl: Seems I've over looked the calender. At least I didn't miss it yet.

Debbie: And it's a good thing you remembered what month it was, too.

Karl: Yeah. Still pretty embarrassing. I even got you a gift.

Debbie: You got me a gift?! Karl, that makes me... ...pleased as punch! Though you really didn't have to go through the troubl-

Karl: Oh no no no, I felt like it, since you are my favorite.

Debbie: Really? I didn't know that! I mean, the most you've ever talked to me was when I was Vinnie Van Goose, with the head on and all.

Karl: Well, the others are special, but if they knew you were my favorite, they would feel less important. You really knew how to bring life into a character more than they did.

Debbie: Oh wow. Though I feel bad for being the favorite. The others worked so hard.

Karl: What they don't know, won't hurt 'em! It's okay! Now, why don't you come over to my place and you can collect your gift? You can either take it to go, or eat it here.

Debbie: "Eat it?"

Karl: Hope you brought your sweet tooth.

Debbie: Oooooh la la, zat sounds deleecious, vahtre ahltesse. [*Chuckles*]

Karl: [*Chuckles back*]

Debbie: That was a really bad impression of the character I played.

Karl: I thought it was decent. So, you coming to get your gift, or what?

Debbie: Hell yeah, I'm going to get it! On one condition, though.

Karl: Hmm?

Debbie: Don't eat it all before I get there. [*Giggles*]

Karl: That's a promise I'm willing to keep! Don't worry! I won't even dip my finger into the frosting!

_____________________

Scott: Who is it?

Karl: That can only mean one thing: Do you recognize my voice?

Scott: K-Karl? Karl! Oh, Karl, you happy-go-lucky son of a bitch! [*Laughs*]

Karl: What, were you expecting someone else?

Scott: Ehhhh, either Mom, or someone I owe money to. [*Laughs*]

Karl: [*Laughs as well*]

Scott: You can't be my mother, sooooooo are you calling me up to pay some acting penalty fee?

Karl: There's just no end to your wisecracks, huh Scotty? Don't be ridiculous. You worked for me, so I'm the one who should be giving you money! Speaking of which, did I ever tell you that you were my favorite?

Scott: I am?

Karl: Sure! None of the other performers knew how to bring life into a character more than you!

Scott: Really? Well, to be honest, I didn't think there was anything special about my character.

Karl: You didn't think-- Look, Scott, he was one of my favorite Critters. When I was designing him, I put a little bit of myself into this character's traits. And to have a person make him animated was a happy experience.

Scott: Wow, Karl. That's...

Karl: Trouble finding the right word?

Scott: Yeah. Kinda. Just feels really neat to be appreciated. Even at a simple task.

Karl: Say no more, my friend! All you have to do is accept your award! No speech please.

Scott: Award? Okay, Karl, this is a little bit much.

Karl: Not really much. Just a bonus check.

Scott: Bonus check? I-I really can't accept this, Karl.

Karl: Please, I insist. You were my favorite Critter, and I wanna show my thanks for such effort you gave.

Scott: I'm not currently having any financial crisis, and I can't take money from you after how nice you've been. Couldn't you thank me in another way? Like, lunch, or dinner-

Karl: Actually, I'd be more than happy if you joined me for this afternoon's brunch, and we can catch up on times. Tomorrow. At my place.

Scott: If that will make you happy, I'll be there.

Karl: Delightful! I'll make sure brunch is still warm when you get here!

_____________________

Drew: Hello?

Karl: Drewwwww! Long time no see!

Drew: KARL! [*Sighs*] Thank God, you're the one to call!

Karl: Gosh, I really wasn't expecting that kind of reaction. You miss the show, too?

Drew: Well, no. Not that it was a bad show, or I hated doing the job! I mean, I loved playing Saxxo!

Karl: Well, Saxxo was my favorite! In fact, so were you! Nobody could bring so much life int-

Drew: Okay thanks I appreciate it Karl! Say, you wouldn't happen to know any positions opened at Tam, do you?

Karl: Tam is currently not looking for any actors at the moment.

Drew: Shhhhhhhh-shit!

Karl: Is everything alright?

Drew: Of course not. Rent's rising, and I have three more days until me and my wife lose the apartment! I just got to find a new job and pay off the rent! Need the money fast! I-I'll do anything!

Karl: Oh my. A debt situation. Does Mary know about it?

Drew: No. And I can't let her know.

Karl: Have you been gambling again?

Drew: [*Awkward silence, then takes a deep breath*] All I ever wanted to do was to treat her to the best romantic getaway in her young life! She thinks I don't pay more attention to her, and I've been less ardent ever since we got married. I love her so much, I really do. I felt like words aren't enough to express how much she means to me, so I thought, perhaps I could show her in another manner! Just wanted to earn a little extra cash, and look what a fine mess I've gotten us into! First it will be our place, next my fucking marriage! You're my only hope, Karl!

Karl: You have my sympathy, old friend. Believe it or not, when I was young, I used to do a bunch of crazy stuff to impress a girl. It's surprising how love can make anyone do anything. Tell you what: I'll give you this check for 100 grand. That way you can both pay off the rent, and give your woman the best dinner, plus a gift.

Drew: Gee. 100,000 dollars. That's a lot of lettuce.

Karl: I was gonna give you this anyways. It's my "Congratulations" gift for all your hard effort at Tam.

Drew: Thank you, Karl! God bless you! I swear I'll pay you back somehow!

Karl: You can pay me back now. ...at my place for some coffee, and we can catch up on our times. Always wanted to have a full conversation with my favorite Critter star.

Drew: Alright, I'll be there. Just as long as we're not getting a little too touchy. What time?

Karl: You can be here right now, if you like.

Drew: I'll go get the car keys!

Karl: Take it slow, Drew. You only live once.

_____________________

Karl: Howdy-do! Nice to hear from you!

Beatrice: Oh hey, Karl! Haven't heard from you since the show's cancellation. Which, by the way, I'm sorry for your loss.

Karl: Heyyyyyyy, no need for pitty. I'm over that now. I've become grateful that they continued to let me work at Tam Studios. Oh, and how far are you due now?

Beatrice: 3 months and 15 days. I made sure to keep track.

Karl: That's wonderful! You know, if Karl's Paradise ran a little longer, you could definitely hide your pregnancy with all that space in your costume.

Beatrice: That's true, though I don't think my doctor would recommend it. The suit is so hot, it's like a walking sauna. Whew! I get all sweaty just thinking of it.

Karl: A hun in the oven with a bun in its oven. That's one for the books. Listen, I've been thinking of you lately.

Beatrice: You know I'm married, Karl.

Karl: No no no no, not like that! I meant thinking about how good of a job you did playing Yum-Yum. You made her feel so warm, and loving. I knew during that one audition, you were her. You surely brought life into that character.

Beatrice: Okay, thanks, but doesn't her voice actress deserve some credit, too?

Karl: Shanna was spectacular, but I don't think she could take on such a physical role. How you handled Yum-Yum was what made you my favorite.

Beatrice: Me? Your favorite? Hah hah, I didn't know you thought that way of me. Though, you always appeared enthusiastic whenever I was in full costume.

Karl: That's how much you thrilled me! Seeing Yum-Yum become animated was a sensation to behold! We show creators take great pride in our works, you know.

Beatrice: Interesting. Well, see you next time, Karl.

Karl: Woah woah, wait! Take these words to mind before you hang up! Please?

Beatrice: Guess I can stay on hold for a little longer.

Karl: Great! Like I said before, I've been thinking of you lately. I know I didn't show much excitement when you first openly confessed about the baby. My favorite deserves better. So, I went out of my way to get the little tot a gift!

Beatrice: A gift? Aww, Karl, you shouldn't have. It's a little too early to start receiving gifts.

Karl: Oh, I insist! Besides, in three days, I'm off on a little business trip, and won't be back in a couple of months. So, I thought of giving you the gift now!

Beatrice: Oh, that's nice! Are you gonna drop it off here?

Karl: No, frankly, I don't know where your location is. I was wondering if you could come by my place and pick it up. You still have the address I gave you and the other performers, right?

Beatrice: Yeah, but... I'm not sure if I wanna go. I've never been to your place before, and I find it weird to come over to another house just to pick up a measely present.

Karl: C'mon, Beatrice. I'm no stranger to you. Besides, I just baked cookies.

Beatrice: Cookies?

Karl: Your favorite. Chocolate chip, soft, and with ooey melty chocolatey goodness.

Beatrice: [*Short silence*] Okay, you win! That's an offer I can't refuse! I'll just have a quick trip, grab a couple of cookies, take the present, and leave!

Karl: Atta girl! I'll get a doggy bag ready!

Beatrice: Don't try to make a pass at me!

Karl: Wouldn't dream of it, Yum-Yum.

_____________________

Clifton: Karl, what the hell is this?

Karl: Cliff! I see you got my message!

Clifton: Yes, and whatever it is, I want no part of it.

Karl: Jesus, why the bitterness?

Clifton: Not only did the Karl's Paradise experience left me humiliated, but it also hurt me seeing my daughter get terrified of a character I played. The show gave her nightmares twice!

Karl: Ooooh, I'm sorry to hear that. But if it makes you feel better, this isn't about the show. It's about a whole new start.

Clifton: Baby, n-not now. Please. Daddy over here busy.

Karl: Pardon?

Clifton: Oh, I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to Beth. You know, my daughter? And what is this "whole new start?"

Karl: I'd like to propose a new proposition. It pays more than your previous gig.

Clifton: "Pays more." Is it another acting pursuit?

Karl: Why yes! Tam is starting the production of a new crime drama, and they're cast-calling for a black-American male, with a tone body, and flexible movement.

Clifton: They're looking for a black man in a program about crimes? Pfftt, I certainly don't like the sound of that.

Karl: Oh no, it's not what you think! I mean they want someone to play one of the lead heroes! I talked to them about giving it to you. Don't you wanna take a step further into your acting goal?

Clifton: Well... Yeah, and it all sounds really great! But I don't think I'm ready to hit that road yet.

Karl: Huh?

Clifton: Well, the crime drama thing seems a little bit... How should I put it? ...complex. Right now, my acting experience is limited. All I did on Karl's Paradise was put on a suit, move around, and grab things. I didn't even get to speak my own voice. Literally. I think I should take it slow for the time being. Tell them I'm gonna have to pass up.

Karl: C'mon, Cliff! Never say die unless you try! This job will mark the beginning of your big break!

Clifton: I don't know-

Karl: With all that money, you could provide your family all what they deserve! You've always talked about how they mean the world to you! Your wife will always be happy, your mother will live more healthy, and your daughter could be enrolled with the best educational systems! You could even buy a bigger house! If you feel you're not ready, we could have training lessons over at my place! I even got a copy of the script!

Clifton: Why does it matter so much to you whether I get the role or not?

Karl: I kept this between myself and I for very long, and I think I ought to let it out now: You have always been my favorite, Cliff. The character, in which you portrayed, was very important to me. When I first designed that character, I projected some of my attributes onto him. Then, you had put on the suit and made him animated. I knew you'd be the one. He was exactly how I pictured him in my head.

Clifton: Well, I would admit I did do a good job, but I wouldn't call it a stellar performance.

Karl: Don't beat on yourself, Cliff! In my opinion, it WAS a stellar performance! And dare I add, you are a family man, right? I'm a sucker for families! Especially children! That's why I gotten into children's entertainment! To make them glow in happiness!

Clifton: [*Inaudible mumbles*]

Karl: What was that?

Clifton: I, I said, I guess I can give it a shot. The money would do me and my family good. The bills need to be paid, and Beth has been twitterpated for an Easy Bake Oven.

Karl: Great! Come visit whenever you're available! I'll put on a fresh pot of coffee!

Clifton: Tomorrow. I'll let my wife know.

Karl: Oh, no no! Cliff, we don't wanna ruin the surprise!

Clifton: Man, if I just sneaked to some place without telling Janet, she'll get the expression that I'm seeing another woman!

Karl: Don't worry! If she gets suspicious, I'll cover for you! It's all in my hands! Trust me!

Clifton: Alright. But one more thing: If I don't nail this role, do not pester me over a new career ever again.

Karl: Cross my heart and hope to die!

_____________________

Karl: Hello, Rebecca!

Rebecca: Oh my god- Karl! You have every nerve calling me up! You of all people!

Karl: I know! Did you miss me?

Rebecca: Like I miss a kidney stone! Good-fucking-bye!

Karl: Wait, don't hang up!

Rebecca: If you're calling me because your show's been picked up again, no use talking me into it! I've never been so embarrassed in my life! My friends still won't let me live it down, and my brother-in-law keeps making long distant calls just to tease me about the damn shark! And I couldn't stand looking at those costumes, even my own! What the hell were you thinking?

Karl: I just thought you suited the role so much. The way you brought life into the character really made you my favorite!

Rebecca: I don't care, and I was talking about those costumes! How could you not see how terrifying they were? You gave a goose teeth! A goose with teeth!

Karl: They're not that bad! Just wanted to give them a little cartoony-ness in their appearances!

Rebecca: Karl, they made kids cry! They're THAT bad! It's like they came from Sesame Street Reject Hell!

Karl: [*A moment of silence, then, angry breathing is heard*]

Rebecca: You still there?

Karl: Yes. I'm still here. The reason I called was to ask you a favor regarding the show. Also, it's still pulled off the air. I'm making a biography based on experience working on Karl's Paradise. I interview you, and you give me all your views on the show, whether they are positive, or negative.

Rebecca: Forget it. Now if you excuse me, I have to hunt a new job. One where I possibly don't have to show my face.

Karl: I'll pay you!

Rebecca: What?

Karl: The exact same amount as your salary from Tam! Please! Just come to my place, answer a few questions, and you'll never see my face again!

Rebecca: [*Sighs*] You're a sad man, Karl. Alright, I'll do it. Throw in a couple of snacks, with some iced tea, and you have yourself a deal.

Karl: Lucky for you, I always bring out the refreshments to guests!

_____________________

Sam: Who is it?

Karl: Double-K, that's who. [*Giggles*]

Sam: Oh, hi Karl! Didn't think you'd call me all of a sudden. Are you still down over the show's cancelization?

Karl: Nahhhh. That's all in the past now. I'm working on a new project at Tam, and it's far better than my last one.

Sam: Ohhhh. Glad to hear that you've moved on. I must say: Although Kar- [*Sneezes*] Excuse me...

Karl: No, bless you!

Sam: Thanks. As I was saying; Although Karl's Paradise wasn't the best experience I ever had, it sure was a fun one. I actually started to take a liking to Mama LongLegs.

Karl: Yeah, you were always cut out for her. When you showed up for that audition back in '88, and you first put on that suit, that was the day my Mama LongLegs was discovered. You nailed every aspect of her character, minus the voice.

Sam: And you know something funny? I didn't think I'd get the role with my height and all. Mama LongLegs could've been given to any one of those women under 5'8. Nice of you to care more about personalities than looks.

Karl: Wise Miss you are. That's why you've always been my favorite.

Sam: I am? Oh gosh, I don't know what to say...

Karl: How 'bout "yes?"

Sam: Excuse me?

Karl: I mean, how's about coming over to my house for a couple of photoshoots? ...in costume? The other cast is involved as well. Even though the show is cancelled, they're still giving me the right to merchandise it. All I need right now is your approval.

Sam: Oh. Well, sounds fun!

Karl: It sure is! I'll even put on a fresh pot of coffee!

Sam: I'll be there! Also, [*Jokingly tone*] for this photoshoot, I won't be taking anything off, will I?

Karl: I'm not that kind of man! Don't worry, you'll be fully covered! You're just wearing the costume, and that's it.

_____________________

Leon: What's up? I don't really care who you are. Just get down to the skinny. Blah blah blah blah.

Karl: Leon, it's me.

Leon: You're gonna have to be more specific. I don't know any "Me's."

Karl: Karl Rodriguez! Don't you remember?

Leon: Ohhhh yeaaah, the Karl's Paradise man. What's the big idea giving me this ring while the show is cancelled?

Karl: Well, to clarify-

Leon: Even if it's not, I don't think I wanna come back anytime soon. Like, that whole show, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, is kinda bogus.

Karl: I know, but-

Leon: Man... I wouldn't have stayed if it weren't for the money. And the free Dunkin' every morning. As for those costumes... wayyyyyy fucking creepy to the max. They'd make great props for a halloween haunted house, though. Wish I could've took mine with me.

Karl: Are you finished?

Leon: Shoot.

Karl: *Ahem* As I was saying; what you just mentioned is exactly what I called for!

Leon: You're gonna pay me? You're gonna buy me Dunkin'?

Karl: No, but how would you like to take your costume home with you? You can scare the shit out of kids every halloween, as much as you want!

Leon: Ehhhh, it isn't money or greasy donuts, but it'll do. I'll take it. Alright, when are you gonna deliver it to me?

Karl: Ha ha ha ha. No, you have to come down to my place and pick it up. Because, frankly, I never did get your address.

Leon: Whatt... No way. I am not getting off my ass, driving a mile block, just to pick up a damn costume. Forget it. The thing would probably eat my soul while I'm sleeping anyways.

Karl: There's Dunkin' in it for you! Along with an iced coffee.

Leon: Dammit, Karl. You know my weakness too well. I'll get my keys.

Karl: That's the spirit! Hey, did I mention you were always my favorite?

#The Banana Splits Movie #Remake #horror #Masklophobia #original characters

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wombathos · 4 years

Text

just saw one of the worst posts I’ve seen in a while and while I’m usually hesitant to screenshot-dunk and it probably wasn’t made with malicious intentions but rather just comes from a place of profound ignorance, it is pretty horrific and..... okay y’know what here’s the link to it. and like it’s a mess the whole way through but there’s so much going on here that I’m just gonna run through a few of those things in whatever the tumblr-equivalent of a subtweet is:

It is generally a bad idea to use the Holocaust as a plot device. It is an even worse idea to want the Holocaust to be used as a plot device for the sake of your ship between two non-Jewish characters. If your show is about time-travelling and your main character regularly saves a lot of people, the best thing to do with that bit of history is stay away because obviously the main character can’t change it but trying to justify not changing it is.... eh, how do you say... bad. At most you can use it as a backdrop in another country with its own experiences of WWII (c.f. Empty Child/Doctor Dances) or you can essentially tell a story about something completely different (Let’s Kill Hitler - which understands the show cannot kill Hitler and it’s distasteful to have an episode handwringing about it but does have that moment where they imply River Song is worse than Hitler, which, bad idea). Another franchise that’s amply demonstrated why this kind of alternative-universe-but-not-really-in-the-context-of-world-war-ii is a bad idea is Fantastic Beasts, a limping reminder of why your answer to ‘why didn’t wizards stop the holocaust’ should be ‘ehhhh let’s not talk about it’, not ‘magic hitler was trying to stop the holocaust’

What genre fiction does allow you to do is to take a sideways look at any of the aspects of the Holocaust people feel compelled to interpret and examine through fiction: whether the rise of fascism or industrialised mass killing or resisting authoritarianism or genocide (though there is a tendency for American media in particular to visually code its baddies as Nazis while refusing to engage with any of these issues on a substantive level, but let’s not get into that). Someone in the reply to the same post said something along the lines of ‘don’t these people know what the Daleks are based on’ and..... yes, of course they are, but the ‘based on’ tells you why it’s different. Sff gives us the space to tell these stories with - ideally - safe distance. The real ‘let’s kill Hitler’ story wasn’t the eponymous episode, it was Magician’s Apprentice/Witch’s Familiar - but because Davros isn’t Hitler but merely shares some of the same features (i.e. will grow up to be responsible for genocide), you can tackle those thorny moral issues without dealing with living, painful history (the other thing OP mentioned was making this whole bit of history a fixed point in history *sigh*, which is similar to the plot of the episode Fires of Pompeii except that this is different for several reasons because it’s a lot, lot further in the past and is less painful/contentious, and is also a natural disaster rather than a man-engineered atrocity). In the context of the show’s long history, the Daleks have been used to illustrate or tackle various aspects of the Nazis - as have various other villains - but it would be different if you had actual Nazis in those episodes because Daleks are fictional pepperpots who haven’t actually killed any real people. Take any episode with the Daleks in it and replace the word ‘dalek’ with ‘nazi’ and quite rightly the end product would be accused of trivialising the Nazis, because fiction and reality are not the same and you need a degree of caution when dealing with real-world history that is simply not comparable to its equivalent in fiction.

That’s the short version on why it would generally be extremely hard to write something in genre fiction on the Holocaust where realistically a protagonist would have the power to change it. There’s also a reason why Doctor Who specifically might be best to stay away from it: it’s a ‘family’ TV show. While there’s been plenty of thematically dark material throughout the show’s history, there’s still going to be limits on what they let four-year olds see. Any episode that doesn’t shy away from its horror to the extent that they’d show a concentration camp (another gem from OP’s post) would either not make it to the beeb’s kid-friendly programming or would be watered down in a way that is frankly insulting. I know opinions differ on this and I’m sure some people find books like The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas a helpful teaching resource (though that book is additionally bad for a specific reason I’ll also come back to). My personal view is that at some point you should introduce children to material that at least attempts to capture the true horror of the Holocaust rather than a watered-down version that may end up being the only thing they ever see, but... like... while I am aware of Doctor Who’s original remit and think some historical episodes could be helpful in introducing kids to certain periods.... not this one.

Which brings us to the really really bad bit of this specific post, the idea that this should all be done in service of a ship, and specifically in response to a moment in the previous series where the white protagonist removed the disguise of the antagonist of colour and left him at the mercy of Nazi soldiers in WWII Paris - and it is never addressed again. Now. That was bad and frankly for me served as even more explanation why perhaps the show should stay away from the Nazis and certainly not do... that. Using the plight of Holocaust victims as a way to remedy that would be.... not exactly better. You are using their suffering in a way that is fundamentally not about their stories - and here TBITSP is relevant again because it focused on the child of a Nazi officer and that family’s suffering while using a Jewish child as essentially a walking plot device; which is remarkably similar to what OP is suggesting. This isn’t just some nice historical backdrop. You aren’t fixing anything. All it ends up doing is making light of the horrific suffering real people endured for fictional angst. However much you would try to ‘flesh out’ the Jewish character in question, it still wouldn’t be a story about them. The show has plenty of powerful analogies at its disposal to discuss history and morality - use those instead.

And lastly, and I cannot believe I am saying this, but coming from Switzerland of all places doesn’t give you a special insight into the Holocaust. Learning about it in school doesn’t make you an expert. Again, I don’t think OP was actively malicious but they are very wrong and it frustrates me that the post is gaining any traction at all. The way it’s framed and the tags on the first post make obvious that this was entirely about a ship. Speculating about whether the Master would’ve avoided being trapped in a concentration camp in the notes (I’m sure they didn’t mean to imply that this was something that could’ve been avoided with enough intelligence and yet) or whether the Master (currently played by an actor of colour) would support genocide because he was helping Nazis (and yes the episodes in question already went there but they sure shouldn’t have!) is just remarkably disrespectful. I’m usually of the ‘do whatever you want’ view when it comes to fandom but there are limits and apparently this one’s mine especially a week after there was the whole journalist writing anne frank fanfiction discourse. Think before you post.

#i don't have any clue how to tag this apart from *screams*#eh trying to figure out what people might have blacklisted #cw holocaust #doctor who negativity #txt #the space box show #also read what the person arguing with them said because i'm really only supplementing that

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eeveelutionsforequality · 6 years

Text

Submission:

I'm the MAP anon: I'm gonna be honest with you, so much of your MAP discourse is a) long and rather unwieldy to read and b) seemingly focused on only the intrusive thoughts as a reason not to blame MAPs for anything. It was hard to get a read on your position, as my experience with you was you defending anti-contact MAPs, and given the person's blog I sent you say they're anti-contact, it came off as you defending them as well.

To clarify: my argument was in the scope of that anti-contact, who was still actively and wilfully sexualising minors, one of which was indeed an actual child and another who was being sexualised for when they were a child.

I @ed you not because of anything you said specifically anyway, but because you seemed to be the MAP expert on the blog. You couldn't have known that of course.

Lastly, please bear in mind that:

a) the person I sent you is someone I found through a third party blog, in addition to the fact that you yourself go on about them a lot, so all your instances of you chastising me for “seeking out” MAPs is pointless, and

b) the MAP in those screenshots states they're anti-contact, so this isn't just about the "bad" side of MAPs. It's perfectly reasonable for an outsider to see people like her and think that “anti-contact” is one stop above virtue signalling, and they're just as irredeemable. You know how people go on about how feminists need to do in-house cleaning if they want to avoid people disliking the movement? It's the same for the MAP community as well.

That said: I do genuinely apologise for not reading your arguments through properly. As much as an excuse as this sounds, my executive dysfunction issues make it hard to read as many paragraphs as you write on this subject - I am trying, but still, I dropped the ball a bit. I'm also sorry as well that I basically forced you to reiterate points you've already made probably a fair number of times before, because I know that's annoying af.

So that said, any instance I was misrepresenting your arguments you're free to ignore and I won't respond to your refutements of them since bascially we are actually much on the same page now I know who I'm talking to. There are a bunch of other things I could address but I feel it would be a waste of both our times, so I'll focus only on a few things that really jumped out.

------------------------------------

what about the countries where young boys and girls are routinely used as prostitutes, where assaulting young boys regularly is “tradition”?

[...]

Maybe I’m just manipulated, maybe there’s some grand scheme to turn everybody in the western world into pro-contacts, and a tiny anti-contact community on tumblr dot com is where the disgusting revolution begins… but I highly doubt it.

The old “what about starving children in Africa” argument is not a decent counterpoint to anything since people started using it. One (1) submission to you about MAPs isn't me deciding that's more important issue of child abuse, and you have no idea what else I could be doing day to day.

Also: have you considered that the reason I even sent that in the first place is because of places like that? For example: the west has a keen problem with sexualising young boys, telling them that if older women prey on them they should be grateful, and that it's not rape because boys inherently want sex 24/7. So that MAP and others like her are an issue because hey, they aren't helping that.

Small-scale abuse is still abuse. One minor being preyed on it too many. Other, truly non-offending MAPs getting caught in the crossfire is unfortunate though.

(Also I thought you'd appreciate the juxtaposition of your “child abuse is acceptable on a societal level in some places” comment and the sarcastic “who's trying to make child abuse acceptable on a societal level?” comment.)

[…] but I don’t think that means that they’re not ever allowed to talk about it, or that it’s harming children if they ever do, just that it’s gotta be done safely and reasonably.

You sound just like an anti-shipper right now, honestly.

[...]

Do you feel the same way about people who ship certain ships and talk openly about it?

I knew you were going to bring in anti-shipping. I had had no idea why you would then, and I don't now, but I knew you were going to do it.

Anti arguments are ridiculous because they're about fiction. Getting off to Loli hurts no one because no child was abused to get those pictures. Shipping a 17 yo with a 25 yo, or an abusive relationship, or whatever hurts no one because they aren't real.

MAPs are real people attracted to real minors, so any argument against discussions of their attraction can't just be conflated with anti-shipping. You've already given me plenty of other decent enough reasons, bringing in anti-shipping is at best redundant and at worst conflates real life attraction to minors, and the expression thereof, with fiction. Remember one of the most important points in the anti anti argument is that reality and fiction aren't the same.

Also I don't appreciate being inferred as some kind of pearl-clutcher because I find it abhorrent to have come across an “anti-contact” MAP making explicit comments about at least three real children, one of which they were discussing with another MAP. Half the point was it wasn't done safely or reasonably.

Idk is there a word that differentiates anti-contacts who are like her and anti-contacts who find anything like that abhorrent? If not, that'd be my advice to the community.

If you demonize the act of thinking that thought and the thought itself, rather than the content of the thought if made real, what do you hope to achieve other than causing unnecessary mental strain on a person that could negatively impact their coping?

[...]

That’s like saying that my arthritis isn’t okay, it’s not reasonable… like, it doesn’t matter, I’ve still got arthritis.

You seem to have the wrong idea – I'm not demonising the act of having the thought. I'm demonising the content of said thought, as well as the shitty way it can be (and was in that example) expressed.

I think we're just going to have to agree to disagree on this point tbh. My mother's rheumatoid isn't okay, you may think it's pointless to bring it up but she sees the fact that people don't really acknowledge how “not okay” it is as irritating.

Half the reason I've been able to deal with my depression was acknowledging my thoughts about myself aren't okay, and the only reason I went to the doctor in the first place. The more I remind myself that the contents of those self-hating thoughts aren't okay (namely that it would be actively abusive to be saying these things to someone else for the same reason I say them to myself), the more I'm taking care of myself.

The kind of intrusive thoughts we're talking about with MAPs are probably a different breed to mine, of course. However: that MAP and her pals would do well remembering that the contents of her thoughts, though not something she can help having, are not okay, because the way she's expressing that indicates she very much doesn't care.

You may think it's not important. I disagree.

------------------------------------

There are other things as I said but ehhhh there's no point in arguing with someone you agree with on most things on the basis that we're on differing sides on less important ones. Kinda embarassed I ended up being someone who doesn't do their due dilligence eheh, this is a viceral topic for me so I got ahead of myself. Sorry again.

Previous submission: http://eeveelutionsforequality.tumblr.com/post/167987980707/submission-mod-vaporeon-i-guess-look-i-aint-a

"focused on only the intrusive thoughts as a reason not to blame MAPs for anything"

Not what I'm doing. Maps don't necessarily have intrusive thoughts, they have thoughts and attractions that they didn't choose to have - intrusive thoughts are just something I have that is comparable, and thus that I can empathize with them through. Intrusive thoughts are also something antis have taken to demonizing too lately, and I find that kind of thought policing to be dangerous to those suffering with unwanted thoughts. But none of that means that I'm removing blame from actions or speech.

"given the person's blog I sent you say they're anti-contact, it came off as you defending them as well"

I don't follow cinnamap, but I know that they're anti-contact. If my arguments defending anti-contact positions are also defending their position on those topics, then I'm glad we agree on those things, but that doesn't extend to me defending every view cinnamap has or everything they've ever done.

"my argument was in the scope of that anti-contact"

I apologize for assuming, by your wording and your claims that it was proof of a larger problem in their community, that you were extending blame to other anti-contact maps or justifying judgement against them based on those actions. As I said in the other post, I'll happily have a conversation about how to avoid and rectify situations like those posts.

"who was still actively and wilfully sexualising minors"

I know this is dark and I don't wanna have to say it, honestly it's awful to think about but... at the end of the day, that's what their condition is. The paraphilia is a sexual attraction to children. It can't be magicked away, only coped with. The conversation we're having, in regards to cinnamap, was whether that particular instance of "coping" was more harmful than good to them and others, and how to mitigate that in the future.

"so all your instances of you chastising me for “seeking out” MAPs is pointless"

I wasn't chastising you for that, I had no idea how you came across the stuff - I was chastising antis who actively seek it out to trigger themselves and to attack people. It's not healthy for them and it doesn't help prevention efforts.

"the MAP in those screenshots states they're anti-contact, so this isn't just about the "bad" side of MAPs. It's perfectly reasonable for an outsider to see people like her and think that “anti-contact” is one stop above virtue signalling"

In some of the reblogs on this post, I've talked about, to paraphrase, how pro-contacts are all assholes, but that doesn't mean that anti-contacts are incapable of being assholes: http://eeveelutionsforequality.tumblr.com/post/167769139872/what-the-hell-are-maps

Just because a stance or behaviour isn't pro-contact doesn't mean that it's not flawed or bad in some way. I don't think that anti-contacts are all angels, but judging all anti-contacts by the bad eggs within their anti-contact community (which is what I was saying in the last post), especially when the core of the stance is such an important thing in prevention, would be daft.

Additionally, anti-contact isn't just virtue signaling in this case, it's a stance genuinely held and maintained by cinnamap - anti-contact refers to sexual or romantic contact, criminal offenses, it doesn't refer to whether or not you talk about kids. If I hold the stance that theft is wrong, it doesn't become virtue signaling to hold and maintain that stance even if I'm completely fine with saying that I sometimes think about driving a Ferrari (which I could never afford, ergo would have to steal in order to drive) - as long as I don't steal the Ferrari, I'm still maintaining the morality that I espouse. People read a lot into "anti-contact" and want it to mean more than it does, and then accuse someone who fully adheres to the actual definition of the label, of not being anti-contact because they don't adhere to the add-ons.

It's unreasonable to judge an entire community by a couple of posts written by one person - if somebody is too lazy to do further research into the community and what opinions are essential to it, and what opinions are varied, then they shouldn't be commenting on that community or passing judgements. That's even more extreme than saying that it's perfectly reasonable to judge all football fans by the actions of the football hooligans, without researching what it means to be a football fan or what the vast majority of them are like.

"You know how people go on about how feminists need to do in-house cleaning if they want to avoid people disliking the movement? It's the same for the MAP community as well"

Which is a stance I supported in the very post you're replying to.

"The old “what about starving children in Africa” argument is not a decent counterpoint to anything since people started using it"

That wasn't what I was saying, and I'm sorry that I worded it in a way that could be read as such. I was saying that there are places where such things are normalized, but those practices in those places are considered abominable by our society, there's global effort to prevent them, there's hatred across the western world for pedophilia that exceeds the hatred people have for cannibalistic murderous psychopaths by a longshot. My point was that it isn't going to be normalized here, and that anti-contacts don't want the action normalized or legalized whatsoever, but that there are people out there who do and anti-contacts are as against those people as you and I. My argument was more that what you're talking about is being done by a completely different group and opposed by this group, because from your wording I believed your argument to be that there was some effort within the anti-contact community to normalize assaulting kids.

"Also I thought you'd appreciate the juxtaposition of your “child abuse is acceptable on a societal level in some places” comment and the sarcastic “who's trying to make child abuse acceptable on a societal level?” comment."

Given that my point was "these people are, these people aren't", how do the points at all contradict? Also, it wasn't sarcastic - I genuinely do highly doubt that there's some manipulation conspiracy to normalize it step by step, but it's not impossible, and it's not impossible that good intentioned small movements with positive goals end up supporting much eviler movements, look at radical feminism. Hence why I push so hard for their community to not become an echochamber.

"I knew you were going to bring in anti-shipping. I had had no idea why you would then, and I don't now, but I knew you were going to do it."

I should've expanded on that point:

a) In regards to the words normalizing things and harming the wider populace - it's a tiny hated group on a tiny hated website, it has no normalizing power in the real world, and when done properly (adequately tagged, nsfw, private, etc), it wouldn't fall into the lap of anybody vulnerable enough to be hurt by it (aside from when blogs like the one you linked spreading it in screenshots that other people don't adequately tag, I suppose). One example definitely isn't normalizing anything.

b) You can completely normalize an idea, be 100% okay with the idea, fantasize about it 24/7 (which cinnamap wasn't doing but whatever), and the action still isn't normalized. I've watched so much horror, and I daydream about murder on the regular, I daydream about murdering noisy kids in the shop or people who've wronged me or the neighbour that puts up too many Christmas lights... but I've never killed anybody to my knowledge. I know that murder is wrong and I don't want to actually do it... even if I figuratively want to do it. There's a huge difference between fantasy and action, even when you're fantasizing about real people or actively discussing them.

Along those two veins, I believe that your argument has some of the same flaws as anti-shipper arguments, in regards to the normalizing power of the target group and words in general, and in regards to the level of effect that normalization could have on actions.

"Anti arguments are ridiculous because they're about fiction"

Even if fantasy is about real people, it's still fantasy - a description of a historical figure's aesthetic in a fictional book with commentary on their aesthetic appeal is still fiction. If you have a rape fantasy about somebody you actually know, it's still just a fantasy. From where I stand, as somebody who knows none of those people, as an outsider, there is no difference to the post's impact on me whether cinnamap was talking about a real person or a fictional character. The porn blogs that post short rape stories with gifs to match, and word them as though they're true stories from themselves or others, come across as more real and visceral, and they get put in all sorts of coping and mental health tags without being marked as NSFW.

Honestly, if "I saw a hot kid" on your personal blog that's covered in the word "map", marked as nsfw, and keeping the post out of random tags, is the worst you're doing, you're not really one of the bad bad ones, like, just have a little perspective regarding what they could be doing. It's just words, at the end of the day (disturbing words, but still just words that can be criticized), and I think this conversation alone, let alone the notes on the post you linked, has shown that people will come out in force against that and attempt to correct that behaviour... which is good, as I said, I'm against the post and even small problems are still problems - they're just not problems that justify assuming everyone in the community to be not genuine about the anti-contact position.

This isn't to say "there's worse out there so we can't complain", but rather, complain on par with what is happening - having a little suspicion about their morality and extending questions about that and expressing discomfort with the wording I can definitely understand, especially if you're not very aware of things like what anti-contact means or haven't read any of their other posts, but I cannot understand condemning the whole community with it, accusing it of "normalizing" anything, exaggerating its capability for causing harm, or assuming it a definitive statement on that person's moral code or intent regarding action.

I disagree with the posts, as I've said, I think it was crude and potentially very triggering, but I don't think it had any power to normalize anything or inflict large-scale harm - like anti-shippers, you're inflating the reach and impact of the post, when I think a simpler critique is warranted. If my friend gets drunk and gets into a fight in the pub, I don't say "Your anti-murder stance is basically virtue signaling, I can't trust you or any pub-goers, you're normalizing murder", I say "Stop being a dick, Frank".

"MAPs are real people attracted to real minors, so any argument against discussions of their attraction can't just be conflated with anti-shipping."

I'm not conflating them, I was remarking on an error in your argument that is also an error in theirs - comparison, not conflating. I'm sorry that it came across like I was though, it was badly worded.

"Also I don't appreciate being inferred as some kind of pearl-clutcher"

I wasn't inferring that, I was inferring that your argument had some of the same flaws as theirs. Just because you're both emotionally opposed to something and believe that it causes significant harm and poses significant risk doesn't mean that I'd refer to you both with the same pejorative label - especially when I've expressed opposition to that same post multiple times myself.

"Idk is there a word that differentiates anti-contacts who are like her and anti-contacts who find anything like that abhorrent? If not, that'd be my advice to the community."

I've expressed something similar about the opinion of keeping their distance from kids: http://eeveelutionsforequality.tumblr.com/post/167831648067/did-you-even-try-to-address-any-of-the-points-on

Whether they should divide into smaller groups based on these opinion differences, or whether they should just leave it down to "we're obviously gonna disagree on some things even though we agree on others", is up to them to talk out amongst themselves.

"You seem to have the wrong idea – I'm not demonising the act of having the thought. I'm demonising the content of said thought, as well as the shitty way it can be (and was in that example) expressed."

If the content of the thought is demonized in the context of a thought, and not simply demonizing it in the context of action or specific kinds of expression of that thing, then you are demonizing the act of having the thought. I, personally, think the thoughts are gross and disturbing, however I'm not going to extend ethical judgment to that as the thoughts are not optional, just my own personal emotional judgement that allows people to understand that I don't personally want to hear that stuff unless I've been asked first if I'm in a mood where I can handle hearing it (for example if I'm needed to offer some kind of emotional help through a tough brain day).

There's a big difference between demonizing something, and acknowledging the risks of dwelling on something, acknowledging the emotional impact of it, acknowledging that it would be horrific in reality. A thought is just a thought, just a fantasy, just fiction - like I said in one of the posts I linked to you in my prior response, thoughts definitely can lead to behaviour, but if you're aware that it shouldn't be acted upon and you make the correct safety nets and decisions to prevent such a thing, there's no real reason to begin demonizing something that you cannot help, something that you're forced to mentally endure at length regularly, instead of simply coming to terms with the fact that it's just neurons firing and it has no power. Taking away its power actually helps with resisting.

"My mother's rheumatoid isn't okay, you may think it's pointless to bring it up but she sees the fact that people don't really acknowledge how “not okay” it is as irritating."

The point is that the arthritis not being okay doesn't reflect on the person who has the arthritis - if I'd done something you disliked, you wouldn't bring up the ethics of my arthritis as a way to insult me. If I'd stayed in bed all day because I couldn't move because of my arthritis, you wouldn't say "arthritis isn't okay, it's not reasonable, just get up". Whether the arthritis is "okay" or not doesn't change the fact that it's there, doesn't change whether or not I'm a good person, was my point. Whether it's "okay", in the context of a conversation where it's actually useful to discuss that, would be in reference to how much pain it causes, the stress it causes, the impact it has on life, how to mitigate those things (sympathetic not accusatory) - whether it's "okay" has no place in a conversation about morality. You're switching between two meanings of "okay" and two contexts of using it, and using one to justify the other.

I can't believe that you took my point so out of context here and you sound like you're implying that me, somebody with arthritis, is sat here going "I wish people would just never acknowledge how much it hurts".

You said: “We can accept that MAPs have little to no control over their attraction without accepting that their attraction is valid, reasonable or worth discussing except to demonise.”

Valid and reasonable are both judgements on whether something can or should exist or happen - something unreasonable and invalid should not happen. My point was that there is no point making ethical or logical judgments on the person or on the existence of arthritis or the thoughts, because those things exist and cannot just disappear - demonizing my arthritis, or them demonizing the thoughts, only leads to stress, while accepting limitations, addressing risks, and learning mindfulness are substantially better when faced with things that you can't change than anger and distress. Validity and okayness were pointless to bring up in the context in which you brought them up, because whether valid or invalid, reasonable or unreasonable, okay or not okay, these things are here to stay.

"The more I remind myself that the contents of those self-hating thoughts aren't okay [...]"

What are we using okay to mean now? You seem to change what "okay" means a few times in your replies, initially implying it means "ethical" but now implying it means "healthy".

You could change your thoughts, they can't. Healthy or ethical don't matter - if the conversation is about judgement or whether they should or shouldn't have them - if they're inevitable. If we're talking about reminding yourself of the emotional strain such thoughts can have on others if said to them, reminding yourself that they're dangerous thoughts to allow to consume you, and so on, then yes I believe that's good to remind yourself. If we're using "okay" to mean "ethical" again, and demonizing the thoughts and thereby demonizing the act of thinking them and the person who thinks them, leading to low self-esteem, isolation, and other emotional issues that can increase the risk of offending, then no I don't think it's a good idea for them to remind themselves of that.

"However: that MAP and her pals would do well remembering that the contents of her thoughts, though not something she can help having, are not okay, because the way she's expressing that indicates she very much doesn't care."

A better way to word this - if you mean what I think you mean, or what I would want to say - would be to remember the risk of discomfort to others that comes with the expression of such thoughts, and remember that your wording can convey to others a sense of how strongly you do or do not wish to refrain from very disturbing actions, and however strongly and genuinely you actually feel about that refraining they can't read minds and will make assumptions. Thoughts are just neurons firing, I won't bother judging ethically something that isn't harming anybody, I'm not the thought police - the behaviour is what causes the harm. Once the behaviour is controlled and the thoughts cannot overpower mental and physical safeguards, they're absolutely amoral.

"Kinda embarassed I ended up being someone who doesn't do their due dilligence eheh, this is a viceral topic for me so I got ahead of myself. Sorry again."

That's okay, I've actually been really mentally fucked - depressed, hallucinating, all that fun stuff. And this topic kinda makes me wanna die sometimes. My responses haven't been fantastic and I'm sorry that it's not been a very smooth chat.

#Mod Vaporeon #submission

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the-love-trilogy-fan-fic-series · 7 years

Text

Good News Everyone!

(For those who don’t get the reference)

Rated: T

Language: English

Categories: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Comedy

Chapters: 1

Words: 2417

Additional Notes: Another one-shot cuz apparently I like writing those more than I do actual fan fics!!!! Also, there’s quite a few refs to things I like in this fic, some I point out, some I don’t, but just know if you get any or all of them, you’re instantly my friend.

Warnings (don’t read if these things trigger you): Gays, angst, verbal arguments, self-deprecation, swearing, sexual humor

Inspiration (check these out to get a visual feel for the story): Link 1 Link 2 Link 3 Link 4

(As usual, the fic is under the cut!)

Out for the day, out for the weekend.

If there wasn't any slow pokes and two car accidents up ahead, then maybe they'd be there on time like planned. Astro didn't seem to care, all he did was flip more pages of his book and readjusted his legs to keep things interesting. Reno, on the other hand, wondered how much it would be to just flip the bird at everyone going 2 miles an hour in front of him. He was annoyed, but also found the thought of not worrying if someone was gonna be stupid and ram into the back of his car quite comforting. It wasn't a far drive mind you, probably a few exits away, but this had been the second time this week traffic jams literally got in the way of wanting to hang out somewhere different... somewhere, outside Metro City. They tried this back on Tuesday but ended up turning around and settling on a bucket of fried chicken to relieve their hunger, despite the ridiculous price. Reno sighed, it was hopeless at this point, but also too late to turn back. "Well, you got what you deserved..." Astro mumbled. "What?" Reno turned to him. "Oh! Nothing, my book." "Oh. You're still reading that thing?" "Yeah... it's really lengthy..." "Really? Well, what's it about?" "Hmmm, it's really complicated, I dunno..." "Pffft, complicated my ass.." Reno scoffed jokingly. "That should be your new catchphrase," Astro replied. “Pffft, catchphrase my ass.." Reno scoffed jokingly again. "....anyways.... it's about this kid who goes into a state of self-deprecation after his father's out of jail.." ((Yes this is a ref to Vivid Insomnia, I am proud. ~Emily)) "Oh." Reno looked over. "It's a little more than that but you know, spoilers, but... I can relate to him pretty well... he's a bit of an asshole though I'll tell you that." "Like O'shay level asshole?" "Reno!" Astro scolded. "Well... maybe, but don't tell him I said that!" Reno tried not to laugh, it went to silence afterward.

"Well maybe if he had been honest with Kaitlyn from the beginning he wouldn't be in this predicament...." Astro mumbled again. ((I find this quite ironic considering the context and how in reality, he very well is reading a book about himself... ~Emily)) Reno shrugged and started playing with the radio.

“Ugh! Is this traffic ever gonna move?!” He started getting antsy.

Astro shrugged. “Maybe there’s another accident?” He put his legs down and looked closer at the road in front of him.

“Nope, looks like one’s been cleared out.” He said then after.

Reno sighed. “We’re never gonna make it on time.”

“Aw come on Reno, doesn’t really matter if we get there today or next Tuesday… or maybe it does… you know what- never mind. It’s the thought that counts.”

“I know but… we only have so much time and then it’s back to work for us!”

“Well geez, if you didn’t like your job you could’ve just said so…”

“Well, no. I do like my job it’s just- sometimes I need a 10,000-year millennium break before I go back and work some more.”

Astro burst into laughter. “Oh… oh god… am I crying????? Oh nooooooooo.”

Reno seemed displeased.

“S-s-sorry, I just… could you imagine? Like… we’re in the middle of preventing the world from practically melting from a vicious volcano… and I go to the professor and I’m like ‘h-h-Hey, doctor… uh… I’m really tired so uh… can I take a ten thousand year millennium break… and stop the world from melting afterward? K thanks, bye.’.” Astro laughed some more. ((I'm on a roll with these references honestly… ~Emily))

“O-o-oh my… I’m never trying that, Jesus…” He wiped a tear from his eye.

Reno groaned in annoyance, hoping Astro would drop the subject.

“Anyways, hey- we’re moving!”

“Who- wha? OH!” Reno started driving.

“I feel bad for everyone behind us.” Astro shook his head.

“Feels like we were just here a year ago,” Astro commented, looking out the passenger window.

“That's because we were here a year ago, silly.” Reno laughed.

“Oh. Yeah, has it really?”

“Mmmmhmmm.” Reno nodded.

“Dang. Time really does fly, huh?”

“Meh, I suppose.” Reno shrugged.

He drove into a parking lot and turned off the car.

“Can’t believe you actually paid for a one-night motel.” Astro wanted to frown as he got out of the car.

“Well, what if it gets really late? I’m not driving back home at 2 AM dead tired.”

“Yeah, good point.”

Astro plopped onto the bed. “This bed is shit.” He said after

“For real?” Reno pressed his hand into the bed. “Ehhhh, it's no different from our couch.”

“I know, that's why it's shit.”

Reno frowned. “Well, it's only one night, not gonna kill you.”

“But I could very much wake up with back pain.”

“Hmmmmm, not possible. You're a robot.”

“And…?”

“Robots don't get back pain, dumbo.”

“And how can you be sure?”

Reno let out a heavy sigh. “I didn’t study robotics for jack diddly squat for you to then turn around and ask if a rough mattress will give you back pain, Jesus fucking Christ…” he massaged his temples.

“Well, you never know…” Astro folded his arms.

“So I call Ken up on the phone like two days ago because his finals are coming up and I wanted to wish him good luck because that's what good friends do.”

“And he's all like ‘no I can't talk. I have all this shi-stuff to study.’ And I'm like dood, I just wanted to wish you a good luck, I'm not here for a full conversation like trust me if I was I'd call at like 2 AM on a Saturday?!”

“And so he's like ‘well, whatever you have to say, make it short- I’m studying chemistry.’and at this point, I'm just done. So I go silent for a few moments and he's like ‘hello? Hello?? You there?? Astro??’ And I just hung up.”

“He needs to get over himself honestly. Pull his egotistic head out of his ass.”

“That's what I thought!”

Reno took a sip of his soda.

“I really shouldn't be having this before the food, but… it's just so tempting.”

Astro pushed his cup aside. “I limit myself to 1 sip per every time I see a waiter pass our table, which averages about 3 sips before food.”

“Hmmm, maybe I need to adapt a sipping system…” Reno sipped from his cup. “Ugh!”

“Speaking of sipping- how long does it take to bring out a plate of nachos?!”

“Trust me I've waited longer…”

“Nghhhhhhh, this is ridiculous! I could make nachos faster than this- and it'd probably taste better!”

“Then go make them, Definitely Not Captain America, no one's stopping you.” Reno leaned back and folded his arms.

“God I hate that nickname but it's also such a turn-on, ughhhhhhhh, why am I fucking like this.” Astro cringed, his cheeks turning red as his facepalmed.

“Maybe it's the gratitude of being associated with someone who kicks ass?”

“Mmmmm, perhaps so…” Astro rested his head in his hand on the table.

“Why do they keep changing the channels? Can't they just keep it to the same basketball game or do they do it for ‘variety’?” Astro bit on a fry.

“I dunno.” Reno shrugged. “I'm not into sports so I could care less.”

“Haha, sure thing circus boy.”

“Being in a circus isn’t a sport, 12000 ants.”

Astro burst into laughter. “I… I fucking… holy shit… n-n-now you see… that's a good nickname.”

“We should go catch a movie,” Reno replied.

“What?”

“A movie.”

“I know but… what movie?”

“Oh! Uh… hmmm…”

“Maybe we should just go back to the motel and call it a night.” Astro took a sip of his cup.

“Mmmmm no, I wanna do something ya know?”

Astro sighed. “Well, I mean… kinda out of gas because… there's not much here, to begin with.”

Astro was this close to just leaning back and calling it a night, but Reno seemed to be too invested to warrant taking a nap.

Outside it was getting dark, the two of them sat up on the hood of Reno’s car, back at the hillside they once resided in just a year ago.

He brought his knees up to his chest and tried not to let his head fall into his lap.

Reno sighed, “I wonder what it’s like to come out here during the winter time…”

Astro looked up at him confused.

“You know… what if we saw snow?”

“That’s unlikely, it never snows in this state.”

“Ah, but that’s what they want you to think! I’d like to assume it’s some sort of global conspiracy so people can stop the whole “global warming” debate.”

“We’re literally 139 miles away from Miami, it’s not gonna snow.” Astro caved in and put his head down.

“Well, at least we’re closer to Orlando.”

“Mmmmyeah, good point.”

“I wonder what it would be like to live in Miami though.”

“I know, it would suck.” Astro quickly replied.

“Really? I’m under the impression it’s all tropical and urban…”

“And I’m under the impression you’re a wannabe hipster that shops at Goodwill for the ‘vintage’ look and can’t listen to the same song twice because it ‘ruins the authenticity’.” Astro lifted his head up with a poker face expression.

Reno looked displeased, “Well at least I commit.” he muttered.

Astro tried not to chuckle, “Don’t worry, I still love you anyways.” he smiled.

Reno reached over for Astro’s hand as Astro smooshed his cheek against Reno’s arm.

“You know… we should do this more often.” He began.

“Yeah… we should.” Astro looked up at him.

They looked away for a split second.

“You know… last week, when you said if we made out on top of your car we’d smash the windshield…? I’m willing to test that logic.”

“Ahhhh, I’d rather not, it’d be too expensive to repair if we actually did smash it.” Reno shrugged.

“Hmm, fair enough.” Astro looked back at the sky.

“We could always just go back, unless… you wanted to stay longer.”

“That is a good idea… but…” Astro sighed.

“I dunno. I’m low-key under the impression my game is weak.”

“PFFFFTTTTTTT-” Reno almost burst into laughter.

“Astro… I don’t think there’s such thing as ‘weak game’ if we’re in love as much as we are- like who fucking cares??? I sure don’t.”

“As long as you’re enjoying yourself- that’s the whole point.”

Astro could feel a heat in his cheeks as they turned red.

“I still think you have a good game though, the best game, game so good you could win at Monopoly good. And then turn around and kick everyone’s ass at poker.”

Astro burst into a laugh, feeling suddenly flattered, “I… I guess I’ll have to take your word for it.”

Reno leaned over and kissed Astro on top of his head.

“I’m under the impression you shower at the weirdest times just to upset me.” Astro protested, looking up from his book.

“No, I just have poor self-hygiene.” Reno picked up a few things from the floor.

“Well suit yourself.” Astro flipped a page.

“Hey, it’s not like you plan on coming in here.” Reno walked into the bathroom.

“I would if I was desperate.” Astro burst into laughter. ((ASTRO NO. ~Emily))

“THAT WAS A BAD JOKE.” He covered his face with his hands and laughed more.

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that and just take a shower,” Reno replied from inside the bathroom.

“Ughhhhhh nooooooo whyyyyyyyyyyy uhhhhhhhhhhhh.” Astro cringed at himself, shaking his head in disbelief.

He came back awhile later, Astro was still in bed reading his book.

He sat down beside him.

“Still reading?” Reno peered over.

“Oh! You’re back.”

“Pffft.” Reno shook his head with a chuckle.

“But yeah- still reading, haha.” Astro tried to chuckle back.

“Apparently now there’s this guy with a really huge ego that’s being searched because he’s doing work under the table.”

“Ha! Could you imagine…”

“What?”

“You know, what if say, I dunno… O’shay. What if he got caught working under the table?”

“I don’t think that’s possible- you can’t work under the table if you’re already an employee there. That’s like stealing from the same Walmart you work at.”

“Well… what if something happened- and he gets fired! And then he goes around like Blackjack and starts working on robots under the radar.”

“Blackjack didn’t work on robots, dummy.”

“…I… It’s just an analogy.”

“I know- I just wanted to correct you, can’t go around claiming you know everything “Tezuka” and yet think Blackjack was some sort of egotistical goon that got fired from his position for almost killing everyone in the lab.”

Reno shrugged.

“Speaking of labs, did you ever get that approval for the bigger lab upstairs?”

“Uhhh… I dunno, I’ll have to look into it.”

“Nghh, they better approve it- tired of sleeping on a hard couch.”

“Well, it’s better than the floor.”

Astro yawned. “…y-yeah, you’re right.”

“I think as much as it would be nice, I’m kinda comfy where I am now, plus I hate the thought of having to move all my stuff up another floor.”

“You mean your mess?”

“No, my stuff.”

“Oooooookay… whatever you say, Rhino.”

Reno sighed. “If you’re gonna use nicknames you gotta commit and be consistent, can’t just say ‘Rhino’- you gotta go all the way, ‘Rhino the Savage’.”

“Nah- I’m too lazy, plus it was my idea so bye.” Astro closed his book and shimmied himself under the sheets.

“Pffft- talk about petty.” Reno rolled his eyes jokingly.

“I heard you,” Astro said from underneath the sheets.

“Oh yeah?” Reno crawled under the covers as well.

“Yeah.” Astro tried to look at him, though it wasn’t as bright under the covers as he thought it would be, making it harder to see him.

Reno couldn’t help but chuckle, leaning in to give Astro a kiss, who greatly accepted it.

Astro seemed to have gotten lazy by the end of it, pulling away and resting his head on the pillow, seemingly calling it a day.

Reno turned to his other side, turning the lamp off, leaving the room pitch black.

He shimmied over to be closer to Astro who he put an arm around.

He then too called it a night when he rested his head beside Astro’s, and closed his eyes.

[END]

#tlt #the love trilogy #astro boy #retro #astro x reno #good news everyone!#fan fiction #astro boy fan fiction #retro fan fiction #Astro x Reno fan fiction #side story

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nitewrighter · 7 years

Note

#32 Efi, Winston, and Torb bonding over robot/science stuff

Ahh sorry this one has been sitting in my asks so long! I figured I should write a followup to Zenyatta getting his leg blown off in that one other fic.

—

The Oladeles’ townhouse was a charming place, slightly disheveled, but bright and homey with large windows and fresh flowers in vases and little drones zipping about, keeping the place tidy, if not a bit hurried. Zenyatta and Orisa enjoyed coffee with Efi’s parents as Efi herself and Torbjorn worked down in their garage with Winston present via video chat.

“Hmmmm…” Efi frowned at the omnic leg on the worktable in front of her, “Reattachment should be no problem,” she said with a serious nod, putting her hands on her hips. “But…” She then brought down one of the magnifying lenses on the worktable.

“Are there further issues?” said Winston from a laptop screen as Efi hauled up the leg to check its underside.

“Easy!” Torbjörn had mostly stayed out of her way for the most part but took a few steps forward to help Efi with lifting up the leg, “That thing’s nearly as big as you!”

“It’s taller than you,” said Winston as Torbjörn helped her turn the leg over.

“Hmph,” Torbjörn folded his arms, then pulled a pair of eyeglasses out of his pocket and squinted through them at the underside of Zenyatta’s leg, “Ahhh I see what you’re talking about.”

“The repulsors,” said Efi, pointing to several blackened plates on the underside of Zenyatta’s leg, “They’re heavily damaged and non-standard. They’ll need to be replaced. We probably have the parts to make a new ones here in Numbani, but judging by the size and intricacy of these ones…” Efi trailed off.

“We can handle it,” said Torbjörn.

Efi’s eyes brightened, “You think so?”

“Pah!” Torbjörn thumped his chest, “Don’t underestimate an engineer!”

“Yes sir!” said Efi, saluting before looking back down at Zenyatta’s leg. “He was made in an omnium, right?” she asked, “Human-made mag-repulsors are never this… pretty.”

“Honestly, I’m not sure,” said Winston.

“I’ve asked him that a few times as well,” said Torbjörn, “Always answers with that ‘Iris’ nonsense,” Torbjörn frowned, “All I can figure from his capabilities is that he’s based off of an old medical omnidroid frame from before the crisis, but the Omnium largely discontinued their production when the crisis broke out. The repair omnics they put out for their own forces during the crisis weren’t nearly as humanoid…” he took the leg from Efi, “He got their repulsor tech though…an odd choice. Not like the Omnium. There’s also the possibility that he cannibalized—” Torbjörn stopped himself and cleared his throat, “I mean… lots of parts lying around and all that,” he said, “They always were… efficient.”

Efi stopped looking over the leg and glanced over at him, looking slightly worried.

“Don’t you concern yourself with me,” said Torbjörn, patting her on the shoulder, “I can fix it. Won’t be as pretty as the omnium repulsors. But they’ll get the job done. Can you do me a favor and pass me the CO2 La–”

“Sunkanmi–Laser,” said Efi and a drone hovered over with a small CO2 laser in its robotic arm.

“You name every little bot in this house?” said Torbjörn as another drone zipped past his feet.

“Of course,” said Efi, “Don’t you name yours?”

“Haven’t made a bot in many a year, and never bothered with personality matrixes or AI when I did,” said Torbjörn, working on detaching the repulsors, “Turrets and armor don’t need names, and they get the job done just fine.”

Efi gave a glance over to Winston, who cleared his throat. “So…what are their names?”

Efi smiled brightly, and then she started pointing them out, “Sunkanmi,” she pointed to the drone that had just brought over the laser, “Bolanle,” she pointed to the drone busying itself on the floor, “Mayowa’s helping Mum and Dad in the kitchen, and Ugoulo takes care of the garden on the roof.”

“Do they all have personality matrixes?” said Winston, trying to watch Sunkanmi through the laptop screen.

“I never installed them, but I like to think they do!” said Efi. Winston’s face softened a bit at this, and Torbjörn caught sight of it, but said nothing.

Several sparks flew from Zenyatta’s leg as Torbjorn worked. “Better get that welding helmet of yours,” said Torbjorn, bringing his own welding helmet down. Efi whistled and Sunkanmi came over with her welding helmet and she pulled it on and watched as Torbjörn worked.

“Efi, you have some mag-field generators on hand, right?” said Winston, tapping a few things into his computer.

“Yeah! They’re for Orisa’s fortification field,” said Efi, whistling and motioning to Bolanle this time. The drone seemed to perk up and hurry over to a crate, which it wiggled itself underneath and carried over. Efi rifled through the crate and handed Torbjorn several mag-field generators.

“I’ll need a soldering iron,” said Torbjörn and a drone was instantly at his side with the soldering iron at hand. He cleared his throat, “Well…thanks,” he said, setting to work.

“Efi!” Efi’s mother called from the kitchen, “Mayowa’s being…um… helpful! Again!”

“Good helpful or bad helpful?” Efi shouted back.

“Bad helpful!” shouted Efi’s mother.

“Uh oh,” said Efi, “I’ll be right back!” she rushed off and yelling in Yoruba could be heard from the Oladele kitchen.

“I saw that,” said Torbjörn, continuing to work on the leg.

“Saw what?” said Winston, furrowing his brow.

“That look a few moments ago. You only get that look when you’re talking about your father. Or thinking about him. Or when you see his picture.”

“Doctor Winston was not my father,” said Winston with a dismissive chuckle.

“Ehhhh…” Torbjörn gestured with his hand a bit and Winston huffed.

“Do you still think about it?” said Torbjörn, continuing to work on the leg.

“Are we really talking about this now?” said Winston, folding his arms.

“You’re the one who refers to our merry little band as family, you think you’d accept people having concern for you,” said Torbjörn.

Winston sighed. “Well… I mean the moon is right there. It’s… hard not to think about it sometimes.”

“What happened to Doctor Winston is not going to happen to her,” said Torbjörn with dead certainty.

“I know that,” said Winston with a roll of his eyes.

“But you’re still worried,” said Torbjörn.

“We’re living in a dangerous world,” said Winston, “Good people, bright people who want to make a change, who can make a change… It’s even more dangerous for them. And we’ve made it more dangerous for her and her family just by having her and Orisa associate with us,” He huffed a little, “And scientists are brave, by nature, so my concerns are not unfounded.”

“Brave,” said Torbjörn, “But not stupid. Wouldn’t be a scientist otherwise.”

Winston chuckled, “i suppose that’s true.”

“We’ll watch her back,” said Torbjorn, connecting Zenyatta’s leg to an electrical current to test the mag-repulsors. The leg floated about a foot off of the table, held in place by the wire, “We look after our own,” he said, disconnecting the current and catching the leg, “Better go reattach this thing,” he said.

“I’ll see you back at the watchpoint,” said Winston. Torbjörn gave him a nod as Winston clicked out of the channel.

#Efi Oladele #Torbjorn #Winston

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