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optiwashere · 8 months

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Please write your thoughts about the importance of Shadowheart for Shar/Selûne :D

I FEED on character analysis.

SO!!!! This got long as fuck and also morphed into what you asked + a general character interpretation.

I relied on a combination of 2nd, 3rd, and 5th edition D&D lore, R.A. Salvatore novels, and of course BG3 as sources. Shadowheart's characterization adds up the most coherently on the purely romance / "get her away from Shar" path, and that is what I'm using as a basis for this post. Even when you're playing an "evil" route, she behaves in ways that betray a lot of what I get into under the break. This post, however, is biased towards the "good" path of her personal quest for the sake of my sanity and a somewhat reasonable word count.

First, a preamble for people that are maybe less knowledgeable about Forgotten Realms lore.

One of the biggest characterizations of Shar and Selûne in the Forgotten Realms is that they are twin sides of the same thing: night. Night as an aesthetic is symbolic of, among other things: mysteries, being lost without guidance (such as in faith or purpose), and finding oneself when one reaches for the truth. I.e., reaching light from the moon, stars, or daybreak (which is itself a symbol as the natural conclusion of darkness being light for redemption following suffering, goodness defeating evil, finding faith, etc.)

Shar and Selûne are sisters that also share the Night domain in 3e, a sort of fulcrum they both work around — Shar as the "malevolent" darkness with Selûne as the "benevolent" night. There is even a recognized heresy called the Dark Moon heresy in both cults/religions that Shar and Selûne are actually the same goddess playing one gigantic trick on Faerûn (this comes from a 3.5e splatbook called Power of Faerûn) but it's been pushed time and time again that the two sisters are, in fact, two separate entities. But duality of divinity, and how worshipers interpret their god, is a theme we see played up a ton in BG3.

What we know about Shar is that she despises her sister. Loathes her. Not only does she loathe her, she tricked Selûne's followers during the Time of Troubles, about 140 years before BG3, into worshiping her instead of the Moonmaiden. The Time of Troubles was a period when gods walked the Realms, rather than tossing avatars around everywhere. This lead to the formation of a fanatical group of cultists that followed the real Selûne, called the Lunatics (I'm still proud of managing to reference them in a goddamn Explicit PWP fic)

Meanwhile, Selûne is seen as a calming force. She wars with her sister every single night, and does not like her one bit, but she does it as a means to protect others from her sister rather than as a spiteful game. She's not as omnipresent in people's lives, she is just a natural force to a lot of her followers.

How does any of this relate to Shadowheart? Spoiler stuff and the actual character analysis under the break.

We know that Shadowheart was a "chosen" of Selûne as a child, per her parents' dialogue under the House of Grief. However, it's important to note that most religions in Faerûn name potential clerics as "chosen" ones of gods and goddesses.

We know that, throughout the game, Shadowheart learns that she is being manipulated by the Lady of Loss to do acts that go against some sort of internalized moral code that Shadowheart has. We see her approval go up when you do good acts (as long as you ask for compensation, or if it's to help helpless people/animals) and we see her disapprove when you press her boundaries or act unjustly cruel. "Unjust" is left so vague because she does not behave at all according to how the vast majority of Sharrans behave. There are numerous other flags for approval/disapproval such as her enjoying playful chaos, or disliking when you're too trusting of other companions when you first meet them, but we'll focus on the first set I mentioned.

We also know that Shadowheart was continually subjected to memory erasure via the cult of Shar in Baldur's Gate. This gets mildly restored here and there via the tadpoles and Dame Aylin, but her memory is mostly gone. So this moral code is something ingrained in her somehow, because Sharrans don't have kindness training. There's another entire character analysis to be written about Viconia's role in this as it relates to her own character in Baldur's Gate 2, but let's ignore that for now.

In the cloister under the House of Grief, there is a note you can find that outlines the squad sent to find the artifact that protects everyone from the Absolute's domination. The squad has a leader, and it is not Shadowheart. She is listed as "healer" and the text before this explicitly states that the entire squad is expendable. None of them matter to Shar.

BUT!

Divine visitation by a goddess is incredibly rare. It usually only happens to high level clerics, which Shadowheart isn't really even at 12th-level, and to those that the goddess has an extreme, vested interest in. If you free the Nightsong/Dame Aylin instead of killing her, Shadowheart is wrenched out of the Material Plane and made to suffer for an indeterminate amount of time. That, plus literally meeting Shar in the conclusion to her personal question, is very odd given what we know about Shadowheart.

If we presume that Larian did their jobs, and I'm going to because I trust them, then there is an immediate dilemma presented here. Either Shadowheart matters to Shar (she is not expendable), or she is just another zealot (she is expendable.) There is no half-truth in that logic table that really works for Shar, she's an absurdly dogmatic goddess. See: literally any Sharran you encounter in BG3 that isn't Shadowheart. It's possible that the writer of the note didn't know what they were talking about, but I think that's a lazy out that doesn't hold water with the rest of the evidence.

So, which is it? This being the part where I'm mostly in interpretation territory, Shar views Shadowheart as the perfect puppet, a toy to needle at her sister, not because she is important at all as a person, but because she's a representation of Selûne that Shar can mold to suit her image as she did in the Time of Troubles. We hear that in the game when Shadowheart basically says that she was just a thing for Shar to use. She's beaten into (what Shar believes will be) submission for not becoming a Dark Justiciar, but it only serves to sever the tie between cleric and goddess.

Shadowheart is Shar's answering play to Selûne beating that trick from the Time of Troubles, and there will be another Shadowheart after her eventual death. Shadowheart is both incredibly important and utterly worthless to Shar in the same way that an abuser uses affection and trust to hurt their victims. Love bombs in the form of divine power, sending her on this important mission, and offering the title of Dark Justiciar are followed by pain when Shadowheart displeases her. As if, on a whim, all that supposed mutual respect could turn into non-consensual, extreme violence.

Shadowheart is an objectified opportunity for Shar to fuck with Selûne for the entirety of a single half-elf's lifespan (anywhere from 150-200 years) and nothing more. A plaything to discard when all is said and done after a microcosm of time where a goddess is concerned. Whatever Shadowheart thinks she's benefiting from with Shar, it's all a trick. It's a massive delusion with which she's been brainwashed into participating.

And deep down, deep deep way deep down, Shadowheart knows this even in Act One. She spouts random sayings and the sorts of 2edgy4me one-liners that you would expect from a somewhat goth-y, slightly sassy Stock Evil Cleric in a fantasy RPG. For a good portion of Act One, you wouldn't be wrong to assume she's extremely one note and a total zealot. That is, unless you know two things:

That Shar is a fucking menace in Faerûn, and nothing good ever comes naturally from her cult. Anyone that knows FR lore was probably like me when they first interacted with Shadowheart. I know I basically said, "What the fuck, you're not a Sharran lmao. Either Larian goofed hard, or something's fishy here."

That extraordinarily devout people tend not to babble in verse, prayer, and all that unless they are also trying to convince themselves to have more faith in a set of beliefs that they're not entirely sold on. This isn't 100% of the time, but it's something you see in people whose faith is not very strong. People who have ironclad faiths and hold consistent ideologies tend to rely more on personal interpretation of faith, for good or ill. You see this all over BG3 in the people that are more confident in their beliefs, as well. Isobel, Orin, and Z'rell are three wildly different angles on that, for example. It's really all over the game in the NPCs.

That second point is the more important one here. Shadowheart, in Act One, is constantly talking about her goddess. If she's not hiding the artifact from you, she's couching an event in concern over what Shar would think of how she behaved. Like she's still a scared child who doesn't know how to handle what's happening around her despite being completely capable in scenarios as hectic as melee combat with ogres. The difference shines bright as day if you play a follower of Selûne and push back on her beliefs, though you do of course get a lot of vitriol in the beginning. Even so, it's clear that Shadowheart knows something is off about Shar whenever confronted with actual Sharran activity/belief, but she's been brainwashed and abused so horrendously that she constantly tries to "correct" herself to appease her abuser.

Selûne, however, isn't really a "part" of Shadowheart's quest in the same way as Shar. The Moonmaiden is not an active participant, she is not a guiding hand or even a faint idea in Shadowheart's thought processes because of how intense the memory blending got for her. The most we ever really get of Selûne's opinion comes from external sources (pretty much entirely from Shadowheart's parents, Isobel, and Aylin when she's not PROCLAIMING DIVINE RIGHTS.) To the Moonmaiden, Shadowheart is really just another of her many, many children spread throughout the Realms. Yet, Shadowheart retains that sense of inherent goodness that Selûne instils in her followers.

Unlike the Lady of Loss, Selûne's indifference isn't hateful or spiteful at all. For Selûne, the ultimate goal of any of her followers is to find themselves. To illuminate who they are meant to be by moonlight. Two of her domains in 3rd edition are Protection and Travel, and in 5e she has Knowledge as well, while one of her "mantles" (the domain equivalent for psionics) is Freedom. She wants to give her followers the ability to freely tread whichever road will lead to self-actualization.

Selûne demands almost nothing of her own followers so long as they act according to the basic tenets of a traditionally Chaotic Good deity. She accepts flaws, faults, and failures in her clerics as much as she rewards strengths, virtues, and victories. There is no divine intervention from Selûne because she accepts Shadowheart intrinsically as long as Shadowheart finds herself. All it took for Selûne to take Shadowheart back after forty years of being a fanatical Sharran was saving one person, and trusting one of two people that we know she's let in for that forty years (the PC, as well as possibly Nocturne) — Selûne sees that she's an abuse victim at the heart of it all.

Side-note: Selûne's primary holy symbol is two eyes surrounded by stars. She is always a passive witness to her clerics' deeds. I don't think I need to get into that symbolism.

Whenever given the chance, Shadowheart values freedom incredibly highly. Even in someone she can take the entire game to warm up to, such as Lae'zel. Her dialogue after Lae'zel denounces Vlaakith speaks directly to this. It's seen repeatedly in her comments on other characters' personal quests such as Astarion, or Karlach, and with Lorroakan's intent on imprisoning Aylin in Act 3.

Once Shadowheart is pulled away from Shar's influence in the end of Act 2/early Act 3, she is... not a completely different person, but she is absolutely a calmer individual that also allows her emotions to surface more intensely. If you're romancing her by Act 2, she confesses that she wants to be with the PC (forever) IMMEDIATELY after being punished horrifically by Shar; she progresses the romance far faster once Shar is out of her brain; she cries, alone, in front of the PC if she chooses to listen to her parents and spare herself from Shar while also killing them. She's known this entire time that she's purposefully holding parts of herself back, and this is her immediate reaction to being set free.

Of course, it's a video game and things aren't always perfectly paced, especially considering the implementation of the Long Rest system. Much of this interpretation requires you to accept that.

After the small dialogue about Shar's intervention after the Gauntlet, the narrator comments that you're not sure if telling Shadowheart where her divine power now comes from will break her spirit forever. That's interesting, and it makes her almost manic change to "I have to be with this person forever" in the romance so utterly sad. Shadowheart is an almost textbook depiction of someone who struggles immensely with vulnerability and emotional openness due to childhood neglect and abuse. Even worse, she's been suffering that neglect and abuse for forty-plus years and she cannot remember what life was like before the time when she constantly yearned for the approval of her abuser. When she's set free and given the appropriate space to manage her feelings (all of the times she asks to be given space/asks the PC to respect her boundaries), support from friends and loved ones in the way Larian handled the camp crew's reactions to everyone's personal quests, and a purpose in life that extends beyond her abuser, she flourishes almost immediately.

To Selûne, Shadowheart is simply another person finding themselves in a world that's incredibly difficult to navigate. Under Shar's domination, Shadowheart will never be anything more than a useful puppet that dances happily whenever her goddess asks, pleased to be what she thinks is useful as she wears the false title of Dark Justiciar. With Selûne watching but not pushing, Shadowheart can be free of everything but her own choices, her own mistakes and victories. Her own person, freed from expectation.

P.S. "Breaking out of toxic thought patterns" is a common thread in the companion romances and quests. In a similar way to how Astarion uses sexuality to mask a part of himself in his romance, Shadowheart sees all this time she's spent holding herself back as an excuse to reverse course and accelerate ridiculously fast by comparison.

My point is, she is a U-Haul Lesbian.

#hey you can ask me things!#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 spoilers #shadowheart #shadowheart analysis by yours truly #there is so much to analyze about viconia in bg3 as well #shadowheart's romance has some interesting mirrors to viconia's from bg2 #there is a phenotype for unsure sharrans and it comes back to “why do I trust this person so much?” and battling with that #it is - as they say - girl dinner #also shar should absolutely share the Twilight domain in 5e #and on a final note: if you ever want to know where my shadowheart kink headcanons come from hellllllllloooooooo this post #bc as sweet as she is goddamn that girl loves when you degrade people and she has a CONSISTENT interest in sadomasochist behavior

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somesmartsmarties · 6 months

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Oooooh I wanna make a comic about Morro discovering his true potential so bad

But brain small and smooth and can’t think of what his obstacle to overcome could be

Like yeah obviously, it would be learning that he wasn’t meant to be the green ninja and he won’t be able to get that title, and that’s okay! But it’s very similar to what Kai’s potential was (which btw side note, after seeing other people share their interpretation and thoughts on Kai, I too like to believe that the true meaning behind his potential is “I am enough, and I won’t be seen as any less if I don’t become the green ninja”), and I really want to tie in to how he could’ve still had a good life if only he hadn’t been so hellbent on finding the realm crystal

So maybe it could be something like “I am imperfect, I am broken, I have been hurt by others and I too have hurt others, but longing for something that I cannot achieve will not fix me or anything else; I took for granted what I had, I left the one person who truly cared about me, I sought out what I thought would fill the cracks that have formed throughout the years, but it only broke me further. I cannot change my past, I cannot go back to what I had, nor can I go back to who I was. But I can try and build a better future for myself. Despite all the pain, anger, fear and loss, I can still rebuild myself, and perhaps someday, these old scars will fade, and I will feel a little more human. Despite it all, I can still heal.”

Maybe idk, I’d love to hear what everyone else has to say <3

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g1rlr0b1n · 7 months

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My Grown Up Damian Wayne Headcanons:

The reason Damian's speech pattern can come off as odd or stiff is because English is his third language; his first language was Arabic and then he learned Cantonese. Damian has an accent which he hid most of his childhood to blend in with other Gothamites and vigilantes but when he would get emotional it would come out. Sometimes when he didn't have the words to express what he was trying to say in English, he'd substitute in Arabic words because he was most confident in his first language. As he got older he had to come up with a public persona since he was being forced to be in the public eye more and actually had to speak to people. He decided to allow himself to speak freely with his accent as Damian Wayne but Reporters still tend to stay away from him because he's the 'boring' Wayne and no one wants a quote from the eloquent and soft spoken one. He's fine with that. (Robin has a Gotham, New Jersey accent.)

Even though Damian isn't necessarily practicing, he identifies as Muslim. He even participates in some of the holidays such as Ramadan. He has memorized most of the Quran and can quote it with ease. It holds a special place in his heart and he does a lot of outreach within the community.

Damian's favorite sibling is actually Cass, he doesn't go around announcing it though because he knows it would hurt Dick's feelings but he grew really close to her in his late teens. They have a lot in common, like their similar childhoods and difficulties with building and maintaining relationships; He likes that he can talk to her about those things. Damian puts Cass in the highest regard, he's not too proud to admit she's the better fighter. He uses it to his advantage, sharpening his skills by sparring with her frequently. During team up sparring sessions they aren't allowed on the same team.

Damian has a veterinary medical degree but he also has a general medical degree so that he can practice medicine on humans too. He was already in school to become a vet when Dick's wife went into labor while Dick was off planet, they were too far from a hospital to get there in time so Damian delivered the baby. It was such an exhilarating experience that he decided to get a second medical degree to practice human medicine and to help his family out more. (sidenote: Dick's wife has not let him live that down). For a while he even acted as the new 'Alfred' staying completely out of the field and going by the code name ‘Lazarus’, but once Bruce retired and the mantles shifted around he started going out on patrol more because no one likes a backseat surgeon.

Damian had his name legally changed when he was 18 as a birthday gift to himself, he wanted to honor a legend. His name was legally changed to Damian Alfred Al Ghul-Wayne. His father cried when he saw his updated driver license.

#so I've had these in my head for a while but I've decided I finally want to share them #if you don't agree with them just more along and enjoy your own headcanons and leave mine alone #purposely left out ships so all can enjoy lol #damian wayne #robin #dc comics

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grumpy-nyks · 1 year

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The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction - Agnes edition

Who would have thought? 🤭

Agnes "Nes" Sigrún 🌑RO: James Corvin

Personality: sincerity // cautious // friendly // merciful Traits: heart // compliance // believer Past affinity: writing [horror stories] Primary ability: empathetic impressions Past susceptibility: receptive

☀️Fernweh: She never really thought about leaving Fernweh… It was her place, near her family and friend(s). She felt good there and assumed she’s gonna spend her whole life happily in this little town. Even if Fernweh brings back devastating memories, she’s curious about what’s happening in Fernweh now, in her true home. It’s always been her dream to work in Turn The Page, and during her ‘short’ stay in Fernweh, she started thinking about it again. Why not stay for longer…? She would love to carry on her grandfather’s work and bring his legacy justice.

☀️Grandpa Jóhann: When she was young, she had an amazing relationship with her grandpa. They were completely honest with each other, and she loved him wholeheartedly. Some people thought that making her grandpa proud was her main hobby. She used to tell him all about her dreams that she had, which were always wild... and also about the nightmares… It took her by surprise when her grandpa, one of the most important people in her life, started being less involved. She was hurt and began to wonder if she had done something to cause the distance between them. His decision to move her out of Fernweh so quickly after this tragic event made a huge impact on her mental state. She needed time to cope and be with her closest ones, especially her grandpa...but after all she didn't blame him. She often heard that she looked exactly like her mother…like her grandpa's daughter... She assumed he could not look at her, without thinking about her... And she could not blame him for wanting to escape that pain. Agnes knew it was the best thing that her grandpa could do for him, and she accepted it, too eagerly. She always too eagerly took the blame for everything.

☀️Beckett Warrick: After what happened in Fernweh after James she had even more trouble interacting with other people and making new friends… However, Beckett was an exception. He was the first person who got to truly know her after the events in Fernweh. When she got the letter about her Grandpa, she considered hiding the truth from him, because she knew deep down that he would be there for her if she needed him… even if he would not particularly enjoy it. It's a good thing she’s such a bad liar… Her main concern is about Beckett’s well-being. She noticed that this 'little' trip made a huge impact on him. He wasn’t supposed to be here, and it’s because of her that he–... She needs to make sure that nothing happens to her friend. And she will somehow manage to bring him back to his home.

☀️Reese Verner: They had an unconventional relationship. Reese saw her as a rival, while Agnes thought of him as a friend. She was confused about why Verner, someone of great importance, would even look at her see her as a rival. She knew there were better candidates for his games. She had only one question on her mind - “why?”. Despite Verner's playful teasing, Agnes always remained polite and friendly towards him, even when he attempted to push her boundaries. Girl knew how to keep her true feelings behind a warm smile she still does. If I can be completely honest… Agnes was rather shocked that Reese still remembered her… and was actually looking for her, which sounded so unbelievably. His concern for Milton's well-being made her see him in a slightly different light. Of course, she already knew Reese had a good heart, but his behaviour really touched her. Additionally, Agnes noticed that Reese and James’ relationship became stronger and deeper… It’s for the best. James deserves someone as dependable as Reese. He will always be there for James.

☀️Sofia Dorran: Their bond was formed over a shared admiration for books and... the color blue. It may sound funny now, but these things became central to their lives and deepened their friendship. Sofia was the first person Agnes entrusted with her writing, and valued her honest feedback, knowing that Sofia would not make her feel bad if something needed improvement. They frequently borrowed books from each other's collections. Agnes yearned for the days when she and Sofia had reading sessions together, sipping on their favorite beverage. The only issue back then was when the book ended poorly or their library didn't have any new positions for them to read. She's willing to know how Sofia's taste toward books shifted (if shifted) and how she changed as a person. She's also extremely grateful because her grandfather received constant care from Sofia and her mother.

🌑James Corvin: …Do I really need to tell you that James was her first crush? And that she never found the courage to tell him so? maybe now will be the time? Agnes and James were always together, wherever one went the other followed. They were inseparable. Agnes even used to bake oatmeal cookies for James with her mother's help. They dreamed of their idyllic life together. As friends, obviously. Seeing him again after all those years was much harder than she anticipated. Agnes felt overwhelmed with stress from the moment she stepped out of her car. Every time she heard his surname, she unknowingly flinched. Her mind was full of questions about his well-being, life, and changes. She couldn't help but wonder if he would be happy to see her. …she did manage to hold his hand for a moment, I can consider it as a success

☀️Alex Corvin: Agnes has always looked up to Alex for their adventurous spirit and their willingness to embrace life to the fullest. She has always wanted to adopt a bit of Alex' wild side. Whenever they are around, boredom and dullness seem to disappear. They both share similar values and support each other's life goals. If I would say which person Agnes was the most willing to meet during her stay in Fernweh that would be Alex. She was confident in their friendliness towards everybody and was sure that their kindness had not wavered. Agnes was touched when she heard that Alex was looking after her grandfather's bookstore… It appears that Beckett has a new admirer, which Agnes wholeheartedly approves of.

☀️Mal: Agnes has a sense that Mal might be suspicious, but she is quite naive and doesn't believe that he could mean trouble. Although she is wary of him and finds him a little untrustworthy, Agnes believes in being kind to everyone, and she is willing to give Mal a chance, not judging him by her own impressions of him.

☀️Goldie: Agnes is grateful that her grandfather had a furry companion like Goldie, who probably managed to brighten his spirits. She fondly recalls how her grandfather would tell her stories when he once had a dog, when he was younger and how his eyes would light up with joy as he shared his story. Agnes is committed to taking excellent care of Goldie and ensuring her safety.

#don't get me started how she is BLAMING herself for the situation Beckett is rn. she needs to go back for her theraphy sesions right away #that's why she went with him into the woods looking for Milton and not James even so she wanted to spent every single second with him :sob:#she's conflicted. being with James is something that she dreamed of but in her opinion he deserves someone better //obviously//#...that's why she's cheering for James and Reese lol. Look she just wants James and Reese to be happy and she can see how those two care of #-each other. She's happy : )#she's an idiot 🙂#is there a potential happy ending for the three of them..? maybeeee. we'll see what the story will bring 👀#im totally confident that Sofia and Agnes had their own shared little library #Agnes wrote a poem for James when she was young but it wasn't really her forte. that's why she showed it to Sofia because she knew she will #-help her. //Agnes didn't want to tell for who it was but Sofia figured it out anyway. they both knew that the other knew but weren't-#-talking about it out loud. XD it was hilarious -- for me and I assume Sofia but Agnes was terrified. XDD//#....cough James never saw this poem anyway cough...#I have this headcanon that Agnes made up amazing horror stories that James was willing to hear (for a bunch of oatmeal cookies) when-#-they had a sleepover //those stories were from her nightmares but she never said that to James knowing he would only worry about her//#btw her parents called her 'little star' and James must have heard it and (maybe?) asked Sofia to make a necklace... Sun and Moon.#did you know that Agnes had her piece of the Sun as her necklace for the WHOLE TIME. but she hid it away under shirt... x"D she was looking #-if James had his Moon somewhere... but she did not see it. anyway she wears it always.#omg i finally made it. there's also one in my drafts nearly finished and three more to go. XD #sooo curious about book two <3 #fernweh saga #my art?#Spotify #oc: agnes sigrun

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bluejayblueskies · 1 year

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i've often yearned to be in a romantic relationship, from when i was pretty young to now even though i now recognize that i'm aromantic and it's not something i actually want when push comes to shove. and this probably isn't anything profound, but i've started to wonder recently if i'm actually yearning for a romantic relationship or if i'm yearning for a deeply meaningful, intimate, and loving relationship with somebody who i can trust and show all the parts of myself and know that they'll always be on my side and spend the rest of my life with, and society has just told me over and over and over again that i can't have that without the romance

#now i know what you're thinking:#'hey jay you talk a lot about queerplatonic relationships and how they're important #and you talk a lot also about how friendships are just as intimate and loving as romantic relationships'#and yeah i do! recently i've been involved in fandom spaces where we talk about these things (like malevolent)#with a lot of other aspec people who share their own experiences (esp. with malevolent with the aro!arthur headcanons)#but i've always been really bad at actually integrating that stuff into how i go about my own irl life #and tbh ... even if it crossed my mind before i never really thought it was a realistic thing to want yknow?#the thought of 'well who's going to give you what you want out of a relationship and be okay with it *not* being romantic'#has definitely crossed my mind many times #but idk! i've always just really wanted that One Person Who Will Be With You Always that i saw growing up irl and in media #and that i still see and love and want #and i still don't know if i personally will ever find somebody who i want that with who won't be looking for romance #but it's finally started to sink in i think that what i want and who i am are not two conflicting forces #i can want all the things that a romantic relationship has to offer (minus the romance of course) *and* i can be aromantic #and these are two things that can coexist #and that real people have! and that i'm seeing written into media! (malevolent my beloved)#it's just helped me wrap my head around all of this a little bit better #personal

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scribefindegil · 1 year

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Anyway. I think that Reigen grows mushrooms.

#(because i have to say this every fucking time i mention mushroom cultivation: culinary mushrooms.#not the drug kind.#leave me alone.)#it's fussy and satisfying and good enrichment #and also the sort of thing where he would go 'hoho i can save so much money doing this myself'#when actually it costs just as much as buying the mushrooms outright #but it's worth it because it gave him a Project to obsess over for a week #and infodump at his employees about #he is so proud of himself and brings some of them in to S&S to share #hello my finale feelings are Too Big please accept this small & mundane headcanon #mp100

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yore-donatsu · 1 year

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“Oh Handy ... Need a drink too ...?”

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magnusmodig · 1 month

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rough childhood headcanon qs / @clxscdeyes / no longer accepting !

╰┈➤ 7 . how old was your muse when they realized they had childhood trauma?

||. one whole "today years old" post!ragnarok and hela's reveal. Except, even then, according to the movie, not really because Thor is still in heavy denial about all of it where Odin is concerned. I've spoken a bit (here) about how Thor adores his family; he idolizes them and views them through blinding rose-colored glasses, (especially when they're deceased) and that is especially true of his circumstances.

So, very often times when the truth clashes with the rose-colored view of them (namely: his father), Thor does one of two things: find a way to justify the words or action with the surrounding context of the time to make it make sense (e.g., well he scolded me harshly because i was talking back), or avoid it altogether. (this is his go-to. no talking about it; thor would rather not right now, so he does not.)

Key example being: he would rather focus on how his father changed his ways, and the Odin that he knew and grew up with was a man who had turned away from pursuing war for war's sake, and was instead one who valued peace and life. He would rather focus on that aspect of Odin, and take in the broader picture of Odin's life. REGARDLESS of the fact that what Thor is deeply, personally affected - not with the realization that Odin changed his ways once upon a time - but by the fact that he lied to him, manipulated him, and controlled and shaped every aspect of his being, for Thor's whole life, JUST to avoid another Hela. Someone who Thor is not, could not be farther from, and never knew about, because Odin (apparently) kept the matter of his true first-born a closely-guarded secret and seemingly would have continued to were it not for Odin's death, Hela's escape, and Ragnarok all coinciding at the same moment in time. And this, all because Thor rationalizes it as "well, I wouldn't want to be remembered and judged based on the person that I used to be. I should extend that same kindness to my father, because he too, changed." (x10 because now Odin is dead. And it's in poor-taste to speak ill of a dead man.)

The problem namely being: Thor only talks about things when Thor decides it's time to talk about things ; when he is ready. ...but as this is a topic that ripple effects down to Thor's core, good luck getting him to open up about it, even just with himself.

#(yknow what sucks most about this is that 2011-2015 thor was on a trajectory where)#(while he still wouldn't talk about a lot of things he wasn't as firmly rooted in /absolute denial/ like he is now >>)#(he would lock up and not talk about his personal feelings but he was still /thinking/ about them)#(- and could grow ready to share his thoughts once he processed through all of it.)#(or at least he would broach the broad concepts while still lightly brushing over 'k but how did it make THOR feel')#(dude would rather choke than talk about his own feelings no support system for thor he's so dumb)#(which is also just so funny because he never /denied/ the fact that he's feeling under the weather either)#(he just... won't elaborate on why he is or how to feel better.)#(but anyways)#(to rationalize the trajectory shift away from 'thor being able to talk about deeply upsetting topics for him even if it's uncomfortable')#(i've decided that so much has happened in such a short amount of time and there's /so/ many things eating at him-)#(-that he's subconsciously decided he's not going to talk much about any of them. because there's just too much.)#(the vibe of 'if i talk about this now i'm going to fall and if i fall i don't know if i can get up again because it's finally too heavy)#(-and i can't afford to fall down bc there's too much at stake outside of me so i just will not take the chance')#(he can if he's ever with someone he truly trusts and he can speak about it NORMALLY if that person pushes him enough)#(because you've always had to needle thor to /actually answer your question/ rather than talk half-way around it)#(//stares at thor 2011 where he never opens up to jane even once not even at the fire-side chat)#(but until then it's big denial mode bc ragnarok messed him up something fierce and i'm not even talking about-)#(-the order of in-universe events that happen in the movie orz)#( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page .#( answered . ) — black feathers fall to a raven's call .#clxscdeyes #( headcanon . ) — glory to the man who toils for his land . may it ever prosper .

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helenapsent · 3 months

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I've had a headcanon with mocfiths in my head for a very long time (the audience knows, I hope). It came to my mind when Margoshka told me about the catfish version of Maysky (a character from a Russian TV series)

After that, I had the idea of imagining a situation where Thriffith decided to go fishing with El Moco. They didn't have a good fishing trip, though, and that was because the moment El Moco arrived at the appointed time, at the bridge over the big lake, Thriffith caught a big fish…. or rather, it caught him. When Thriffith wanted to say hello, the fish twitched so hard that the grief-stricken assassin fell off the bridge into the water. El Moco had no time to do anything, he wanted to pull him out, but Thriffith is very stubborn and eventually fished this "something" out of the lake. He was holding the big catfish in his hands.

Thriff is proud of himself, bragging to El Moco, saying, "Look what a huge thing I've caught"! And the Bandit King looks at him as if he had done something wrong, as if he had done another stupid thing that made him feel bad.

Thriff: What? Moco: Now you're going to catch a cold because of that worthless fish. Thriff: Oh, that's silly! I have a pretty good immune system! Moco: I wouldn't make such rash judgments if I were you! Thriff: Not at all! *sneezes* Moco: There! That's what I'm talking about!

The bandit didn't listen to him any further, he just took the dead fish from him, put it on the ground, and suddenly began to take off his outer clothes. Thriffith stares at him stunned, he was ready for anything in the world, but not such an action. He asked the Bandit King what he was doing and why he was taking his clothes off, but El Moco just gave him his shirt and jacket (he didn't give him his vest, he put it back on) and told him to change his clothes so he wouldn't catch a cold.

There was nowhere to go, and Thriffith did as he was told: he changed into his comrade's shirt, which was too big for him. In fact, he was a little embarrassed by it. Still, El Moko was right and did the right thing. Thriffith was pleased that he had taken such care of him.

But that wasn't so bad! The shirt was warm, the jacket was warm too, so Thriffith wouldn't catch cold. And in the evening they cooked the catfish together and had a delicious dinner (UwU)

#the adventures of puss in boots #thriffith #el moco #mocfith #headcanons #helen thinks #I've finally poured my heart out #Here I can at least finish some of the lines that I didn't include in my post on Telegram #I so dislike my sense of shame #but I just know that my partner is on the channel and he doesn't share my hyper-fixation on men as much #which makes me feel really bad about it #Someday I will realize zen to the point where I don't care about shame #I'll just do everything in spite of others #But not today--

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wasabikitcat · 1 year

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Baby's First OC, coming to a Tumblr blog near you!

#FINALLY got off my depressed ass and drew my girl now that ToonTown is cool with the little gay people in my phone #i would digitize this but it's so hard to convince myself to draw at all lately so this is progress #i wanted to at least share my girl with the world somehow.#you can see how i just completely destroy my sketchbooks paper by drawing and erasing too violently #my hands are shakey so i have a bad habit of pressing down too hard when drawing :[ a problem that would also be solved by doing digital #but Spotty was a collaborative effort between me and my sister when i was like 6 and she was 3. and she just stuck with me <3 #which is why i haven't changed her name to something less dumb sounding than Spotty Blubbersnoop </3 #obviously i took some creative liberties with the spots. she had three different body colors so i turned the green and purple into markings #sorry I'll stop rambling about her now gsgshshs #oh and she's any pronouns but i tend to use she/her for her. so i guess it'd make her a demi-girl #but i headcanon that toons just don't have gender so it's more like she's just girl-coded and has no strong opinions about it #okay NOW I'll stop talking gsgshdjj #toontown #toontown online #toontown corporate clash

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mercurydancer · 2 years

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An Unexpected Chance Pt. 13

Of Cultural Practices and Warmth

The transport finally arrived, a covered speeder that was operated by a Zabrak who pulled up at the bottom of the steps and grinned up at them as he opened the door so they could slide in. He was clearly Iridonian, closer to Agen’s coloration than Eeth, hair tied up in a sweeping braid. “Hey,” he called up to Tiq, Eeth and Agen first, delight on his face, “bulb burnt out again, Tiq?”

“Something to that end,” Tiq called back, his voice slurring softly. “You have room for six, yes?”

“Of course!” the Zabrak called out, clearly someone familiar to them if he knew Tiq’s name, “though who…” he paused, looking up, and Maul knew the moment he saw them because those brown eyes widened in realization, before the widest smile that he had ever seen. “You have NIGHTBROTHERS!” he called out. “You’re communal bathers, too?” he shouted out, pointing towards them, nothing but warmth and delight and joy bubbling out.

The laughter was loud and full, and Savage picked Maul up again, balancing him just above his hip.

“Oh, kitten,” Maul heard the Zabrak mutter, his eyes full of glee as they fixed on him.

“We are,” Savage said. “Do you take these three often?”

“Often enough,” the Zabrak laughed, “name’s Joric, hop on in, I’ll take you to The Spot.” Joric grinned wide, Eeth and Agen helping Tiq inside, Savage, and Feral coming after.

“Savage,” Savage introduced himself, putting a hand to his chest, Joric nodding in recognition.

“Feral,” Feral said.

“Maul,” he piped up, and Joric laughed aloud, grinning at them with delight visible in his expression.

“I love it,” he said, “I’m so glad…” he paused, “when I heard the news…when we heard the news that the Brothers had escaped from Dathomir…” He put the speeder into drive and pulled out. “About fucking time,” he said. “Pardon my language, little guy,” he said, sending a grin towards Maul, “it’s just…one of those things. You do what you can but if the Jedi can’t do it…” he shook his head. “I’m so glad to see you in this neck of the woods. Are you guys…pardon me, are you Brothers, or related?”

“We are Brothers,” Feral said, grinning, “but we are also brothers. We came to Coruscant looking for this one.” Feral hooked his fingers in Maul’s horns, shaking his head fondly.

“I’m so glad you found him,” Joric said, and there was nothing but honesty, nothing but warmth in his tone. “Coruscant’s a big place…” he paused, “you Apprentice to one of these three?” he asked, indicating the Jedi.

“Oh, I would love to,” Tiq said, “but no,” he shook his head, “he is Mace Windu’s pupil. Or he was.”

“Mace-Fucking-Windu,” Joric laughed aloud, “I love it, that’s fantastic! Are you going to continue with your Jedi training then? Or are you going to leave with them?”

“They are going to stay,” Maul said, holding both of their hands, the two of them immediately nodding.

“No kidding,” Joric called out, “aren’t they too old for Jedi training?”

“Traditionally,” Eeth said, “but things are changing, and Nightbrothers are already close to the Force as it is. But this has not been discussed at all, and so we shall leave speculation out of it. No matter what they choose they are free to stay at the Temple for as long as they want.”

“Done deal,” Joric grinned, “I’m fucking glad for that. It’s damn good to see you three,” Joric said.

“Thank you,” Savage said, “I…appreciate that.”

Joric piloted the speeder through the city of Coruscant, an idle stream of chatter filling the cab as he talked about anything from a new tax to the various restaurants they could try. Savage and Feral were enthralled, the two of them listening to everything that was said with complete focus, Agen and Eeth explaining things as they went. Tiq sat with his head leaned back against the seat, squished between Eeth and Agen, the temperature of the cab kept up just enough to remain comfortable, but clearly good for reptiles.

Maul watched as the sky grew darker, taking in the signs of rain on the horizon. They always promised rain after dark, and they always delivered. It would be nice.

Maul liked the rain.

The Spot came into view soon, Joric pointing it out to them with a call to the Nightbrothers in particular. It was a beautiful place, all sweeping lines and reflective panels, a medley of Zabrak and Rodians scattered around the outside, most of them either leaving or going in. There was a pattern, Maul noticed, Rodians leaning next to a Zabrak or two, easily guiding them in, though the Rodians were leaving on their own power, laughing, delighting in the Zabraks calling out to familiar ones and helping their friends in.

Maul had had no idea… Feral and Savage were also leaning up towards the glass with him, a swell of amazement and gleeful anticipation filling the cab.

“Yeah, that’s The Spot, alright,” Joric grinned, “longest-standing spa of its kind. Been in Coruscant over fifty years, renovated at least four times… It’s a good place if you’re a Zabrak, good place if you’re a Rodian. Others are obviously welcome,” he said, nodding towards a few Twi’lek and Togruta, as well as a couple of humans. “But we tend to like it warmer than most other species are comfortable with. We’ve also got a long-standing camaraderie. You can be in our spaces, just don’t be a dick.”

“Or you get thrown out on your ass,” Agen said clearly. “Which reminds me, if you have any issues with anyone please let us know. We’ll absolutely handle it.” The expression on Agen’s face spoke to a very violent way of handling it, but Eeth said nothing to the contrary, instead nodding grimly.

They swung in for a landing upon one of the docking bays as another transport left, Joric waving obviously towards the one leaving, Maul able to see someone within waving back. The landing was smooth, the doors to the side swinging open to the top, letting them all out. Agen reached back in and paid Joric, the Zabrak giving them a loud call of goodbye and taking off.

Maul turned, taking in The Spot closer, smelling the scent of green growing things, and softer flowering smells. There was also a smell of warm water, and the slightly sharp smell of something a bit…unpleasant, just underneath all the green. But it was not overpowering, and certainly was not terrible. Agen leaned closer to them, and quietly, “pheromones. Rodians have them, they don’t tend to apply suppressors or whatever while they’re here and we don’t tend to ask them to.”

Savage and Feral nodded, “It is not bad,” Feral said. “Compared to the swamps of Dathomir it’s even pleasant.”

“I could definitely understand that,” Eeth nodded hugely, and there was a quiet laugh that spread. Tiq hummed.

“I am better than a swamp,” he said, “that is reassuring.”

Feral flinched, almost instinctively reaching out to touch him, before just as immediately pulling back.

“No, no,” Tiq said softly, reaching a hand out towards him, Feral immediately reaching out in turn, “I do not mind if you touch me,” he said, holding Feral’s hand, “and similarly I do not take…offense,” he smiled. “It is a biological quirk in the same way your noses are very sensitive. You are alright to notice this and comment on it, it has become an almost long-standing joke back and forth, and there is nothing but affection in it. I can feel your affection,” he noted softly, squeezing. “Do not worry about hurting my feelings.”

Feral smiled at him, “okay, thank you, Tiq. I am…there are things that I am still getting used to.”

“And there is no shame or blame in that,” Tiq smiled, lopsided. “Now…let us go in. I would like to be able…to think straight. I got a bit warmer in the speeder, but the air out here is cold.”

“It’s going to rain soon,” Eeth said.

“Then let us get in,” Agen said, and bustled them forward. Feral picked Maul up as they went, balancing him on the shoulder.

This had the added consequence of letting Maul get a better view of everyone…but similarly gave everyone a better view of him.

There was a gradual sweeping silence, Rodians and Zabraks alike turning to look at first Maul, and then trail down to the Jedi standing there…and Maul’s brothers holding him.

The first thing that greeted the realization that there were Nightbrothers in The Spot was a gradually growing appreciative mumbling, and Maul could feel the swell of realization, the happiness that this caused. He could see the way that the Rodians and the Zabraks had both taken steps towards them, smiles and various grins pulling across faces.

But he could also see some of the less enthusiastic takes, including from a human that was eyeing Maul with something bordering dislike…and in fact may be utter distaste.

Maul wanted to shrink towards his brother, reaching down towards Savage who was reaching up to him, Feral reaching to transfer him from his shoulder to his hip…

“Didn’t realize that they started ‘em so young,” the human said snidely. “Though I guess with a communal bathing culture what else could you expect.”

Maul felt as his brothers…stilled.

Tiq, however, Tiq did not.

Tiq straightened his back, and even as a call of realization and disgust began spreading from the rest of them, the utter revulsion of bared fangs and large eyes narrowed into the barest of slits, Tiq stumbled forward. The human didn’t move, clearly sneering at him with something like superiority, his chin tilting up.

Tiq took hold of his chin, patted it for a moment, trailed it up, the human sneering at him, opening his mouth to say something else…

Tiq wound up and punched him square in the jaw, a loud crack sounding as the human collapsed to the ground in a graceless heap.

Tiq straightened his robes, turned back to them, “Coming?” he asked.

They followed, loud laughter and calls of appreciation following, those close enough patting Tiq on the back. They gave their quiet whispered words of welcome and happiness at seeing them to the Nightbrothers, the words and the sentiment rising up in Maul’s chest.

It was warm.

Tiq led them into the building, the doors opening and letting a wave of humidity pour out. It was actually inviting, Maul closing his eyes and tilting his chin up. The smell was a bit stronger now that they were inside, but the flowers and other growing things helped to balance it out well enough that it was barely noticeable. It was clear that they had been working on something that allowed both peoples to flourish for a while.

Tiq walked to the counter that was hosted by two Zabrak, the both of them smiling at the Healer as he approached.

“Hello, Healer,” the one on the right said, female, her head shaved, horns crowning her. She froze at the sight of the Nightbrothers behind him, a wide beaming smile spreading across her face. At the way Maul’s brothers huddled slightly she paused, her expression shifting from something like surprised hurt to naked realization.

“Hello, Zi,” Tiq said softly, gaining the female Zabrak’s attention, Zi immediately looking back to Tiq. “There is a gentleman…out cold upon your doorstep. I put him there. He made a reference towards…starting them out young,” he hissed the words, slow, leaning forward.

Zi’s expression tightened, her mouth in a thin line, “Qinuy,” she said to her partner, “I need you to clear off the trash, please.”

“My pleasure,” Qinuy said easily, straightening up.

“I’m terribly sorry about that,” Zi said, standing up, “The Spot has been a safe spot for all who enter since my father started it fifty years ago. It is not going to lose its status under my watch. You have nothing to fear here,” she said, and her voice was so firm. “There is a co-ed section but there are also segmented ones, you will be left in peace. The usual for you?”

“Please,” Tiq said, holding out a credit chip. Zi made the transaction, got them towels, and gestured towards Tiq, Agen, and Eeth.

“They will be more than capable of guiding you,” she said, “please enjoy your time at The Spot, we are very happy to have you.”

“Thank you,” Feral said softly.

“By the way,” she said before they could leave, “you, little kitten, are adorable,” she said, beaming up at Maul and he huffed, rolling his eyes, which only set the adults off laughing, Zi’s own laughter loud.

Eeth and Agen walked them deeper into the spa, talking to various people who talked to them, carefully catching Tiq’s arm as they walked, and he started wobbling towards the wall.

“Easy, Tiq,” Agen grinned, before laughing, “I can’t believe you did that! In front of so many people!”

“What are they going to be saying about the Jedi now?” Eeth asked, “hauling off and hitting people?”

“We are keepers of the peace,” Tiq sniffed, a loud and particularly sharp sound, “and I kept the peace!”

The shriek of laughter was loud and delighted, Agen folding in half with the motion, taking Tiq down with him, the Rodian giving a loud and upset noise, ultimately being saved from falling completely to the floor by Agen sitting and holding Tiq up at the shoulders, still howling. Maul was delighted.

Feral and Savage both laughed so hard they were falling into each other, Maul precariously balanced upon Feral’s hip, the three of them leaning into each other and so…

“Besides,” Tiq mumbled, looking up at them, his eyes narrowed into slits, “he got off easy, frankly, if I had been a bit more coherent…ooohhhh~ He’s damn lucky that I could not fully psychoanalyze the hypocrisy of sneering at using a bathhouse like that when he is going to one.” Feral and Savage both were sinking to the ground, even as Tiq continued, “I would have given myself…perhaps three minutes before he was renouncing every life choice that led to this minute…and similarly never wanted to show his face in Rodian and Zabrak circles again!” He paused then, slowly working himself onto his knees and looking back at them. “He had no right to talk to you like that,” he said. “And I am sorry that was the first thing that you encountered.”

“No,” Savage rumbled, “do not apologize.” He reached forward, gently touching Tiq’s shoulder, “the first thing you have taught us is the fact that you are willing to defend us if you need to. You do not just speak, Healer, you act, and I am…grateful.”

Tiq smiled at him. “Compassion is the action that develops from care,” he said, “and I care deeply.”

“I believe it,” Feral said softly. “Thank you.”

“Now can I please get off the floor now?” Tiq asked. “I would…I would like to get to a room.”

“Up we get, Tiq,” Eeth said, laughing, helping him up. They all worked their way up and headed towards a set of doors. “This area is for those that are only comfortable with other women,” he said indicating it, and they continued on until they found another set of doors. “These are for mixed! These are good for large families or anyone that doesn’t mind,” he said and took them farther on. It was clear that a lot of space had been devoted to these three sections as the hall seemed to be enormous, passing several people as they went. They were treated with quiet sounds of excitement at the sight of them, lots of words of happiness at the fact that they were free.

It was…it was nice, Maul reflected, even if he did feel strangely small underneath all of the scrutiny. Finally, though, Eeth took them to one last set of doors, “and these are for those that are only comfortable with men only.” He turned, “there are also more individualized private rooms, or ones that are smaller that would still fit us comfortably. Our usual is actually one of the private rooms, which will be big enough for the six of us but won’t open us up to a lot of questions. We pay extra for it, but it’s a great deal more relaxing, and also means you won’t have to deal with staring.”

“Thank you,” Savage and Feral both said, Maul nodding as well.

“Of course,” Eeth waved off, “they are down this hall.” So, saying, he led them down a long hallway that branched off from the hall they were in, and clearly held smaller, but no less comfortable looking rooms, the ones that were available open.

They stopped at one towards the back, “Oh,” Tiq mumbled, “my favorite~”

“I think we’re going to go in this one then,” Agen laughed.

“Sounds reasonable,” Savage laughed.

“It’s got my favorite rock,” Tiq said simply, sniffing.

“Oh, well that is a good reason,” Feral grinned.

They entered in the room, which Maul realized held little cubbies for their things, as well as slippers and robes that had been left out for them. They came in various sizes, from very big, to very little, different numbers of arm-holes available if needed.

“You may use a robe if you would like,” Eeth said, closing the door and twisting the handle that marked it ‘occupied’ and locked it at the same time. “And if you would all prefer we will be very happy to do so.”

“What are your rules for this sort of thing?” Savage asked, “do you have things that are unspoken?”

“Oh, that is a smart question,” Tiq blinked. “Rodians are not big on touch,” he said. “Looking is one thing, and because I would assume you would have questions since you have been in such an insular planet I do not mind answering them, but please do not touch me. Other Rodians are the same way, and if you do decide to be within the communal spaces ever, they do want a bit of space.”

“Understood,” Savage and Feral said, Maul nodding firmly as Feral lowered him to the ground. “Touching is generally allowed above my navel and up,” Savage said, “but I would prefer you let me know before you do.”

“It is the same with me,” Feral nodded.

“We have a similar rule,” Eeth said, gesturing towards Agen who was smiling. “Similarly, I do not mind if you want to wash my hair.” He grinned wide, and Feral made a soft sound of delight.

“Oh, thank the Fanged One,” he breathed, and Eeth threw his head back and laughed.

“I don’t mind it either,” Agen grinned. “You have never experienced it before, so I do not mind if you want to test the texture. Also, I like getting my hair washed by friends, so it is a good experience.”

“It is a rather typical bonding activity,” Eeth nodded.

“Horn polishing,” Feral said, indicating his horns. “Lotion is another really important ritual, particularly outside of the swamps.”

“Oh, that is the same!” Agen exclaimed.

“Oh, do they have some?” Feral asked.

“They do!” Eeth smiled. “But come on, Tiq is about to crawl out of his skin.”

“No, I am not,” Tiq denied, “it is not a shed day.”

There was a delighted laugh, even as Feral made a sharp sound, “you are a reptile, you do shed your skin??”

“At least once a year!” Tiq said. “If I am off a year then that is bad, but more than once is fine.”

“Robes or no?” Agen asked, holding up one of the fluffy white bath robes.

To Maul’s surprise, both of his brothers looked at him, “what about you, little Mauler, your choice. And no shame in either way,” Feral said, ducking down to his level. “You don’t have to feel pressured either way. Do you have any rules that you would like us to follow?”

Maul hesitated for a moment, looking to the robes, before looking to them. It was a cultural thing. There were rules, they had rules and they had ways of doing things. They were safe, Maul was safe.

He paused for a longer moment, and then reached out towards his brothers, each of them taking his hands. “You can wash me,” he said softly, “but do not touch me without me saying it is okay.”

“Of course,” Feral said softly, butting his horns very gently against Maul’s, a movement echoed by Savage.

“I do…” he paused, “I think…robes first, please?”

“Of course!” Eeth said, and immediately handed the littlest robe towards Maul. They all gave each other space, removing clothing and placing it within their chosen cubby, Maul shrugging the robe on before pushing the cubby back into the slot for it. He slid the slippers on his feet and promptly buried his face within the soft fabric of the robe’s sleeves. It felt so nice.

“Good choice, Maul,” Eeth said softly, “these are nice.”

“I don’t usually bother with them,” Agen said, “I regret that now.”

There was a laugh and when Maul turned they were all in the large fluffy robes and finally opened the door to their little corner of the spa.

It was gorgeous.

There were flowers and other greenery encircling large flat rocks that led to a large pool in the center, fed by a constantly churning waterfall. The light was warm and genuinely felt like standing within the sun, shining down from a singular port in the ceiling to give it an almost artificial-sunlight sort of feel, the shadows all cast from that singular spot.

There was also a very large very flat rock placed right beneath it.

“My beloved~” Tiq cooed, and immediately began walking over towards the rock.

Maul couldn’t help the giggles that left him, particularly as Tiq kicked the slippers away and promptly slid atop it.

“Do you mind if I strip?” Tiq asked, face down upon the rock, his voice muffled.

“Is that a typical way to bask?” Savage asked.

“Yes!” Tiq said, looking up at them as he propped himself up on his arms. “You bask nude to get the full effect of not just the heat but the vitamin D that the sun provides. Our clothes then act as an insulator. I will be able to make it for a full night like that!”

“Please do so if you need it,” Maul said, “the light in here actually works to provide vitamins?”

“It does,” Tiq answered, shrugging out of the robe as he did so, still face-down upon the rock, folding it up neatly and placing it near him as he stretched out completely. “Heat, my best friend, thank you~”

Agen laughed quietly, “they have some of the best artificial sunlight technology in the business,” he said to Maul. “They have spared no expense, and it is of good benefit to Rodians, as you can tell. It’s also good for us technically. Now, come on, let’s get in the pool.”

Maul followed Agen and Eeth over to the pool, Savage and Feral following him. Agen paused at the edge, looking back at Maul, his fingers over the edges of his robe.

Maul trusted.

He nodded his head and Agen stripped it off, sliding into the pool, Eeth following after. Feral and Savage both folded their robes before sliding in. They paused for a moment, and it was only when Feral walked over towards a shallower part and reached out for Maul that he realized that Feral had been looking to see where the shallowest portion was.

“Come on,” he said with a smile, “you can touch here.”

Maul took a breath, shrugged his robe off, and stepped into the water.

It was nice.

He took Feral’s hand, letting his brother guide him deeper, following him into the water which was a very pleasant temperature and reminiscent of Padmé’s pool. The difference was the constantly churning waterfall, which Maul was immediately enamored by. He started heading that way automatically, Feral laughing quietly, following him, holding his hand as they got closer to it and the water got a bit deeper.

The water stopped at Maul’s shoulders, something he was grateful for, reaching out towards the falling water. It rained on his palm heavily, a cooler temperature than the water he was standing in, but it was a nice feeling. He smiled at Feral, who grinned at him. “Up?” he asked, indicating that he would lift Maul into it. After a moment Maul nodded, feeling as Feral caught him under the arms and lifted him up, holding him in the waterfall for a moment as Maul held his breath.

It was a glorious feeling, heavier than a shower, drumming against his skull delightfully, and when Feral took him out he let go of the breath he was holding, giggling as Feral put him back in the water. Feral beamed at him. Maul found himself trailing his eyes over Feral’s markings for the first time, really examining them. They were so different to his own, Feral’s seeming to outline instead of Maul’s own…

And then his gaze latched on something that he hadn’t noticed before.

Feral had red tattooed around his arm. It was thicker than his other marks, outlined in…black… Feral caught his gaze, lowering himself in the water and holding his arm out. Maul hesitated, before slowly reaching out, tracing over the skin.

“It’s for you,” Feral said so quietly, and Maul blinked, looking to meet Feral’s gaze, which was soft. “It was for the brother I lost and thought I would never see again.” The smile that pulled at Feral’s mouth was gentle, and he reached a hand out, one Maul leaned his head against, closing his eyes. “I’m pleased that I was wrong. Now, come on, do you want to wash, or do you want to play in the water some more?”

Maul hesitated, looked back at the waterfall, and then looked to Feral. His attention was drawn back to where he could see Savage rubbing at Agen’s head, soap bubbles frothing, Agen beaming, his eyes closed, leaning back so the soap wouldn’t get in his eyes. Eeth’s laughter finally pealed out, delighted amusement on his face. Savage looked absolutely fascinated.

“Wash, please,” Maul said finally, looking up at Feral. Feral beamed at him, taking his hand and taking him over to where the water was lower, Feral himself sinking into it more as he went, swim-hopping forward almost. But it nonetheless let Maul see the lines that trailed over Feral’s back, the places where the brown of Feral’s tattoos were broken and his skin peaked out. “What do your markings mean?” Maul asked softly.

Feral made a soft sound, turning to look at him, and Maul was also aware of how Savage had frozen, only to hurriedly sweep the soap away from Agen’s forehead when he gave a quiet exclamation, flinching away from the bubbles. Maul turned back to Feral, who smiled at him, lowering himself down to sit in the water, and held his arm out to him.

Maul hesitated for a moment and then reached over once again, touching Feral’s hand, taking in the marks that wound around his left hand. They were swirling and gradual, trailing up his arm. Feral’s right hand did not have any marks upon it. Maul trailed his fingers up to his elbow, taking in the diamond pattern at its center darkened rings surrounding it. Feral’s patterning was very geometric, very regular compared to his own, and what he had seen of Wither’s as well. When Maul glanced towards Savage he decided that this was also in comparison to him.

“Tenacity,” Feral said softly, “and Strength. That is what I am marked for. You see it within the geometric shape, in the way that I am not fully marked.” He grinned slightly, holding out his right hand that did not have any of the tattoos upon it. “Recently Tenacity has become more common among us as it has grown one of the most needed.” He paused. “We have been fighting a long time. It is…good that we do not have to fight as much. It is good that we do not have to be as Strong. That we can be free.”

Maul said nothing for a moment, trailing his finger over the swirls that decorated Feral’s knuckles, and finally looking up at him. “I’m happy you’re here,” he breathed, “I’m happy…I’m happy you’re with me.” He paused, “I didn’t know…that I had brothers. I didn’t know that we could be free. I had thought…my Master told me that we were nothing. Worth nothing and for nothing. Filth and dirt, and…” he paused. “I didn’t want to be nothing,” Maul breathed, looking up at Feral. “I didn’t know I could be anything else.”

Feral stared at him for a moment, those eyes so wide, so gold, so… “You’re my brother,” Feral breathed, “you freed us. Your Master was wrong. And he will always be wrong. Even us, even your brothers on Dathomir…we were not Nothing. I am Strength and Tenacity; Savage is Protection and Loyalty. We are brothers. We are us; you are you,” he smiled, “and that is worth being. Now come,” he said softly, “which one of these smells the best?”

Feral took him over to the soaps, letting Maul sniff at them. Some of them were so sweet that they made Maul sneeze, and sneeze, and sneeze, and sneeze, loud sharp and sudden, and he nearly fell into the water, Feral catching him and righting him, his laughter warm and heavy. “Not that one, I would thing,” he grinned, and put it far away. Agen lifted it in the air with the Force and put it farther away. Tiq caught it in the air and curled around it, which was the final thing that sent Maul into giggles.

He finally found one that smelled nice without being overpowering, one that Feral agreed with and offered to Savage to smell. Savage nodded once in decision, holding out the cloths that they had found to wash with. Feral poured the soap onto the cloth, rubbing it to froth it and then held the cloth out towards Maul, mischievous delight on his face.

“Do you mind?” he asked.

Maul frowned at him, before shrugging, taking a step forward into range. Feral reached out, Maul instinctively closing his eyes as it went towards his face…and then he felt the warmth of it underneath his chin. The cloth was soft, smelled delightful, and the water was warm, rubbing back and forth gently, and before Maul quite knew what was happening he had sunk into it, a purr rising up in his chest that he couldn’t bite down no matter how hard he tried.

This…was nice…

Feral was biting his lip.

He was biting his lip because he knew if he let go of his lip he would start cooing.

He knew if he started to coo he would absolutely cause his brother to react in offense.

He knew if Maul reacted in offense that would mean that he would stop with what he was currently doing.

And what Maul was doing was the cutest and most adorable thing that Feral had ever seen.

Maul’s eyes had closed, his head tilting up and forward as he tried his best to get the underside of his chin within the reach of Feral’s washcloth and purring his little chest out.

Feral was very aware of Savage approaching quietly, his own cloth ready, and Feral pouted at him, but he quit rubbing at Maul’s chin just long enough for those big eyes to finally open, looking up at him with something like a pout, but then he noticed Savage.

“Back of your head?” Savage asked gently, holding the cloth up in offer. Maul hesitated, taking in Savage and Feral both, before finally nodding, and as Feral reached out once again closed his eyes.

They worked on cleaning him carefully, listening to the happy rumbling purrs, the soft stutter that sometimes shuttered through him, Maul’s purr not as healthy as others his age. It was clear, Feral thought, that Maul had not been given much reason to purr in his life. It was a tragedy.

Feral washed Maul’s arm gently, taking in those marks that covered him, the blackness to them, and smiled softly. They were for Maul.

They were good.

Savage had a look on his face Feral recognized, he realized, looking up at his older brother whose expression was so…soft, so sad. Savage had been robbed of this opportunity. For twenty-seven years they had been robbed of it. Robbed of the opportunity of seeing Maul grow, of taking care of him, of teaching him their ways and making sure that his purr was strong and full…

Feral had wanted to weep.

Feral had listened to Maul speak of what he had believed, what his Master had told him and wanted to weep. It was not fair; it was not right… To have been told all of that… They finally finished, pulling back. Maul slowly, carefully opened his eyes, looking up at them through those half-lidded eyes and utterly overcome… Feral leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose.

“I love you, little brother,” Feral said softly, “you have never been nothing. You have always been my twin, and you have always been someone I loved.”

Maul’s face crumpled, and he reached out, taking hold of Feral’s hand, squeezing it.

They let Maul continue washing himself, Feral instead turning towards Eeth, who had been busy washing, the soap suds taken away by what Feral had to assume was some sort of filtering system. Eeth caught his eye and grinned, holding up the bottle of what Feral now knew was something called ‘shampoo’ after Agen had explained it to Savage. Feral beamed at him.

Feral found he rather liked washing hair.

Maul finished cleaning and found his eyes trailing over to Tiq, who was still lying on the rock. Feral and Savage had gone back to playing with Agen’s and Eeth’s hair, cleaning themselves and each other between moments, leaving him quite unnoticed. Tiq had turned to lay on his side, still stretched out as much as possible.

Maul understood that Rodians were not big on touching, and Maul did not necessarily want to touch him at all…but…he was curious…

Tiq made basking look so nice, his eyes closed, arm thrown over his eyes… Maul was curious…and he would certainly dry quicker under the light like that…

Maul climbed out of the water, taking the towel and rubbing it over himself briefly to get rid of most of the excess, before finally padding his way over quietly. Tiq opened an eye lazily when Maul got close enough, turning his attention to him with a soft smile.

“Hello, Maul,” he said softly, and he was sounding a great deal more like the Tiq that Maul knew, though his blinks were still lazy, his gaze still just a little bit hazy.

“Hello,” Maul said equally softly, “do you mind if I bask near you, too?” he asked, pointing to the rock that was next to Tiq. Tiq looked at the rock that Maul indicated, for a moment clearly considering, and Maul watched as distinct disgust appeared on his face.

“Subpar rock,” Tiq sniffed, and to Maul’s shock rolled over slightly, putting his back to Maul but also freeing up a significant portion of the rock. “Hatchlings always allowed,” Tiq stated, and for a moment Maul did not quite comprehend the meaning.

And then it hit him.

Maul stood there for a moment, utterly still, punched to the core of his soul, before finally, slowly lying down next to Tiq, feeling the way soft scales – heated by the sunlight pressed against his back. There was a soft click, Maul realizing that Tiq had made it low in his chest, reassurance and…safety sweeping out over him…

And Maul closed his eyes, thinking of the people that had brought him here, thought of warm wash cloths and hugs, braiding fistfuls of hair, being held on shoulders and allowed to press close to people that generally did not like touch…

And knew that he was loved.

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