Hi, I am about to ramble. It will be related to this item you get from defeating the Celestial Champion.

(If I copied and pasted the image, Firefox would fuck up the PNG and add that shitty black background to it)

Alright, allow me to begin with... the moon.

The moon is completely covered in moon glass, this means the Wagstaff quest was completed by the characters in lore, so... Where is the crown?

In the same short which we see the new look of the moon, no one is shown to have the crown on them, but we can easily guess that it could be back at camp.

This one is a bit of an assumption about the WX-78 short, we don't have much clues on if this takes place before the whole lunar storm stuff or after it. But anyway, most of the characters shown also don't have the crown. (Still, take this with a grain of salt.)

Until there is more lore related stuff released (Wilson rework and everything else), we can only guess on who has the crown.

Wortox, Wormwood, Wurt* and Wanda are possible owners of the crown.

*Wurt is shown in the background of WX-78's short, helping Wendy pick up some of the mess the pig raid left behind.

Using the chest board, Webber could also be the owner of the crown (He isn't shown on the board along with the DLC characters.) but they showed up in the Moon Quay update short though, without the crown. (The Moon Quay animation could also be taken with a grain of salt) (The short isn't on the official playlist for some reason along with reap what you sow(?), just wanted to point that out.)

(Wilson made an appearance before the Chest Board Scene.)

So, why is the crown so important? Well... In game, the crown gives you an insane sanity boost and makes Gestalts passive towards you while also allowing you to control your own version of them to attack for you. There is also the dialogue which you can get by examining the item that hints at it allowing the wearer to hear what the Gestalts are saying and allow them to see them.

Most of the characters refer to what they are hearing as whispering and Wendy says the crown makes it harder for her to see Abigail.

Alright, but who do I think has the crown? Well Wornwood, of course.

He hasn't shown up in any of the recent shorts as of late, Wurt and Wortox had made appearances but not Wormwood. Before you point to Reap What You Sow as a counter point, that short came out before the introduction of Wagstaff's quest.

"What about Wanda? She hasn't showed up in any short!", Wanda was introduced on September tenth, 2021 (On the 9th for my non-Australians) and is a more recent addition to the group so she didn't have any chances of showing up yet. (They could also not want her to show up since she is pretty overpowered character*) (*She can time travel and had been in different timelines, this can easily break the flow of things if she does something funky idk)

Okay, so uh... my insane ramblings are over. I could go on about how Wormwood could come in with the crown on and do some cool shit but that is dipping into fan fic territory(?)

if you got thoughts, let me know, but anyway I am done.

RUIN Theory! - Candy and Costumes

Spoilers for the RUIN dlc up ahead! I’m gonna be honest—when I saw the RUIN dlc, this is not what I thought I would be theorizing about. This would’ve been last thing I thought of for my bingo sheet! .

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When you’re going down to the deep deep basement, you run into Candy Cadet, which gives you some nice foreshadowing that I was not expecting. I’m realizing I should probably look at the previous games more, because he does appear in Pizzeria Simulator as an animatronic you can buy. Candy Cadet is in pretty good condition though, all things considered. The other animatronics we’ve seen that survived that fire look terrible in comparison (namely the Blob, Burntrap, and the animatronic from the basement, though they all are a bit dubious with their origins). Candy Cadet does look different design-wise though, which puts into question whether we can trust the designs of other animatronics (another example of a changed design is possibly the Blob, who is speculated to be created from Molten Freddy’s remains. Their head being the Funtime Freddy head makes more sense overall, so I’m considering it a retcon moment). That could be good for my previous theory about the animatronic in the basement being CB / Scrap Baby.

Beside that, as you give Candy Cadet more coins, it gives you a story. Here’s the full thing so you can make your personal theories and have more context for my own;

“Now I will tell you a story about a mother and a little boy who lived alone in a cabin in the dark woods. There was a monster in the woods, but the mother caught it and kept it locked in the basement. The monster always made scary noises at night, but the mother would tell the boy not to worry because it could never get out. Then she would sing the boy a lullaby to sleep. One day, the monster stopped growling and instead, listened and learned the lullaby. The next day when the mother went out to find food, the monster sang the lullaby from the basement. The little boy heard the lullaby and opened the door.”

Following that, a loud, warning siren-like noise blares.

Like the other stories, it seems to be a parallel for other events. Specifically, Cassie being lured down to the basement by the “monster.” The real question is who the mother is. My first thought was Mrs. Afton or the Entity trying to stop her from helping the animatronic, but I realized that probably wasn’t the case. Given that it says the monster copied a lullaby, I’d say that the mother adjacent is probably Gregory. Cassie only went down when Gregory left and the monster called her to help in his voice—the going out to get food parallel. Unfortunately, it doesn’t give us much to work on from there. The story is mostly just foreshadowing for what’s going on, warning Cassie not to go down. It does make me wonder though, how does Candy Cadet know all this stuff?

Another thing I noticed is that the animatronic in the basement wears a destroyed lion mascot costume in the “scooper” ending, which reminded me of the white tiger that the mimic uses as a symbol for itself in the books. This is yet another connection to the animatronic in the basement and the mimic, showing the parallel through two large feline characters. There aren’t any other felines that I know of in the franchise, so it isn’t just a coincidence. Lions are often used to symbolize strength, courage, and justice (also royalty, but I can’t see how that would connect to anything). I’m not sure if that has any implications for lore, but it could have something to do with how that animatronic feels or its purpose. Maybe it has some justice it needs to fulfill, for whatever side it’s on.

EDIT: if Gregory is the mother in Candy Cadet’s story, why does it say the mom caught and trapped the monster? Is it because of the supposed earthquake that trapped it? Did he find it and decide to lock in away with the security? But Gregory had said that it had been down there a long time, wouldn’t that make Henry or someone at Fazbear a more likely suspect? What about Vanessa? The nodes do look like rabbits. If so, then why? She’d have to have done it near the beginning of getting hired, but she would’ve been corrupted. I wouldn’t think Glitchtrap (or whoever/whatever it is) would want to leave it down there. If it is William or William adjacent, it would probably want to let it run free. Maybe it’s even a mix of both Gregory and Henry.

EDIT II: I noticed that Candy Cadet says “I am a Candy Cadet” instead of “the Candy Cadet,” which makes me wonder if there are multiple. It would explain the design discrepancies.

EDIT III: another candidate for the mother is Cassie’s dad. He was a technician who loved Bonnie and collected old Fazbear trinkets. He could’ve possibly locked the animatronic down there.

EDIT IV: if the mother was Mrs. Afton and the boy was Gregory, it could possibly explain why he knew about it. If he went down before and got killed/nearly got killed, then he would be all too aware of the animatronic down there.

So I decided to squeeze in a ME3 (only) playthrough to finally do MShep and an Engineer in ME3.  I started this guy many years ago and never went very far with him, despite really loving the character design.  BTW, I captioned all the screenshots above if you wanna clickthrough. So (re)meet Aldis.  I tried to do his initial facial design off of Aldis Hodge, though I’m bad at creating/mimicking faces I think he still turned out as one of the most attractive mSheps I’ve ever seen, if I can say so mysellf without sounding too braggadocios. :) When I made him, there were a couple of goals I wanted to accomplish... Obviously, just finally do ME3 with a MShep.  I did ME1 and ME2 with one even longer ago, but I romanced Liara in those and I really wanted to see a MShenko romance, to see the more gradual “Hey let’s get together” in ME3 instead of the “let’s reaffirm our relationship” like with my FemShep.  I also wanted to do a more renegade playthrough, since it’s been many years since I did my Femshep Shakarian Renegade playthrough.  He is still the “I’m nice to my crew, and I’ll try a diplomatic approach but my tolerance for bullshit is near zero.”  And last, I’m just gonna wear a bunch of the dumb armors I almost never wear and just try and do things different in other ways than my main FemShep. Since the next time I do a full trilogy playthrough, it’ll be with my canon femshep in the Legacy and there may not be the possibility of mods then, I wanted a heavily modded run to see all the mods again, plus the improvements since my last ME3 playthrough about a year and a half ago.  So this time I’m playing with:

Lights Effect as the FX mod

Girl Plays Game Hair Mods as DLC (Maleshep’s ”Macho” is the specific hair mod.)

Project Variety, which, btw means no Thanemod or Backoff. because they’re incompatible.  Project Variety adds SO MUCH to the game, several of which are highlighed in the screenshots above.

Expanded Galaxy Mod (I have no idea how I can ever play without this mod again, gonna make the LE playthrough so hard and bland.)

Spectre Expansion Mod... also one I don’t ever want to live without in the future.

I have MEHEM installed because... yeah.  I still don’t feel like not having a happy ending.

So of course Citadel Epilogue Mod to close out the game.

ME3 Recalibrated to fix all the lore and errors that need fixing.

And Better Journal to make quest descriptions better.

Casual Outfits for MShep.  There’s also other new casual outfits installed for MShep and I don’t know where they came from, but I do love them. (See pics for more.)

Priority Earth Overhaul Mod to make the endgame even more epic.  The creator also made Immersive Thessia which is sadly incompatible with Project Variety so for now I’m not using this... maybe a future playthrough will swap out PJ for Immersive Thessia, ThaneMod and BackOff again.

Omega Hub for extra Omega content post Omega-DLC, really looking forward to seeing the improvements in this one.  It was just a fun 10-minute diversion last time I played through.

Ark Mod for extra missions that bridge the gap between ME3 and Andromeda.

Better Dreams for awesome and non-annoying dreaming... getting rid of The Kid as much as possible.

Alliance Warpack for more Companion outfits.

Citadel DLC Redone so most companions wear unique casual outfits during Citadel DLC

ME3 Opening Remaster to make those few seconds of the opening a little more epic.

Miranda Mod to have Miranda on the Normandy and give her cool stuff to do after Horizon.  Also if you’re a Miranda Romancer gives her a better ME3 romance.  Also better clothes.

Respawn - Mission Overhaul IDK why it’s hidden on the Nexus, but I had an old download I’m using.  Makes combat more difficult by giving the bad guys more varied powers.  A nice change of difficulty without making it crazy on normal.

Allers Redone to put Allers in a decent outfit.  Still don’t know if I’m going to bother talking to her, though I did put her on the ship.

A Lot Of Videos 4k - I’m a 4k gamer finally.... I want what I can make look good... look good.

I’m NOT using ALOT this time -- I didn’t want to not be able to easily fix things should some mod installation be wonky.  I figure the Legendary Edition is gonna be my big “Take ALL THE PRETTY SCREENSHOTS!!” time... this one is just for fun, and enjoying the mods and my pretty, pretty mShep.

Hey the new post editor SUCKS because I’ve run out of space for new paragraphs but I can add new bullet points.  Anyway, I’ll probably make a few more screenshot posts as I progress through the game.

Hey so I played DAI and fell in love with it and its characters easily my all time favorite game now and I've been thinking about playing some of the previous games. Is there one you would reccomend? Any particular hurdles with playing older games in the series (essential mods ect) or are they games that's fun to reminisce on but are hard to play in the modern era of gaming? I really appreciate any insight you have on this! Thanks!

Heya!

Okay so generally speaking? I would recommend both Origins and 2, especially if it's the companions and banter you like about Inquisition because they are easily my favourite parts of the other games as well. DA2 seems to get the most hate thrown at if from what I've seen, partly I think because it's production was pretty rushed and it shows (it does have its fair share of writing issues as well but that's another can of worms), but personally I still enjoyed it a lot.

I don't know how picky you are about graphics because obviously they are a little dated for both games, though I myself never had a problem with them (but I don't have a problem with older graphics in general, so,,,), and there's plenty of cosmetic mods out there to spice things up. As far as mod recs go I'm afraid I can't be much of a help because I haven't used any mods so far for either game ^^"

Other than that they do both have their pros and cons so it depends a lot on what you're looking for since their style does differ a lot. So for example..

Origins's combat system is much more fleshed out strategical than 2's, which is more straight forward and mostly hack-and-slash, but at the same time DAO's is also a lot slower and more tedious.

Since you asked about mods I'm assuming you're on PC, so key bindings shouldn't be an issue since you can remap them (the default should be very similar for both games though).

DA2's interface is objectively neater and more organised, but DAO's is more immersive imo.

Origins has quite a few extensive dungeons, while DA2's are very short but also repetitive, as it reuses maps a lot.

DAO's main plot is pretty much the high fantasy standard of "hero an co. go on a world-saving quest to defeat the big evil dragon", but its side quests, lore and general atmosphere are great imo, whereas DA2's story is much more condensed and focused on the political unrest in Kirkwall and the protagonists personal tragedy story. Origins is more gritty and grim but also more epic and heroic, while DA2 is less dark on the surface but also feels much more personal and down to earth in a way.

DAO lets you choose from one of six origin stories while in 2 you always play as Hawke.

DAO's protagonist is silent, Hawke is voiced and can adapt one of 3 base tones that change depending on dialogue choices.

DAO's approval system is more like DAI's, with approval and disapproval, while DA2 has a friendship/rivalry system.

Origins is also more gory than the other two games, as in there are a couple parts in the game that are genuinely really gross (at least I find them to be very gross), but not because it's excessively gory per se? Idk if that makes sense but a lot of the icky-ness comes from the context I'd say, but it's really well done, as in it fits the overall tone of the game perfectly. Just thought I'd mention it

Oh an most importantly, you get to have a dog in both games.

Edit: Forgot to mention DLC so I thought I'll do that real quick! For Origins has a few bonus campaigns, of whoch I'd highly recommend the Awakening expansion. It introduces some important characters and is comparable to Trespasser I'd say. Witch Hunt is intetesting too, Leliana's song is a prequel focusing on Leliana's backstory. The Darkspawn Chronicles are... interesting? But the weakest out of the expansions imo. Soldier's Peak has some lore about the Grey Wardens, Return to Ostagar gives some closure to what happened at the start of the game, and Stone Prisoner gives you an extra companion who's fun to have around imo.

DA2's Legacy DLC is really good, bring your sibling if you can becausr it reveals some things about Malcom Hawke. It's fairly relevant to the lore and plot of Inquisition (which you'll already know but it might still be interesting). Mark of the Assassin is... mediocre, if you ask me. It does have some hilarious banter though.

So yea.. dunno if this helps any, but tldr I would recommend both games for different reasons ^^

All of my thoughts on Assassin’s Creed Valhalla!

Of course there are major spoilers for the game and ending. I know it’s been out for like three months now but you never know so I’m putting it all under the cut. And yes this is pretty long. A summary is at the end of the entire text.

also pls don’t send me hate like y’all did for what I said about odyssey literally these are just my opinions on the game if u dont care for them pls just skip I have a lot to say about it and there is actually quite a few things that I really enjoyed when playing the game and if u do read it pls don’t hesitate to shoot me messages and talk to me about the game bc I really enjoy the franchise and I need some more people to talk to in this fandom.

What I enjoyed about the game!!

The blending in with the monks/prayers in the streets to get pass the guards!!!!! Dude!!!!! I know it’s like a really small detail but it just made me so happy because it reminded me of when you had to do that in the first assassin’s creed game. It’s a nice touch of nostalgia and really liked it.

The “glitches” (while some were annoying) I’m super super happy that they were kind of bringing back the glyphs from assassins creed two. I loved doing them because I loved trying to get the little movie. It was really nice of them to bring that back so we can get another little movie like the one from AC2 again.

I think we can all agree: Hytham was a great character. I wish he was more involved in the story than already but that’s just me. I really liked his character so much he’s my favorite from the game.

Desmond having some Easter eggs and basically coming back into the series again was great. It was also a nice touch to see the vault from assassins creed three (the place where des dies). It really makes me miss connor and his band of assassins. I miss assassins creed three :( I want more about Connor please put out some more comics with him in it or some easter eggs please I’m begging you. Also fuck u haytham kenway I hate u.

Shaun and Rebecca being back and now it’s canon that they’re together is fucking awesome. I’m actually really happy about that and I missed them so much. I’m glad they’re in the story again. (Rebecca dude I was so worried that she died like no fucking joke I was so upset I thought syndicate really killed her off).

The game itself actually did very well keeping with the lore we were given from assassins creed origins and was actually doing pretty well trying to connect it to the first assassin game.

Speaking of lore I do think they did the best they could to expand upon the not so well liked lore from odyssey and try and fix it but also it did feel a little confusing but I guess that’s just because i didn’t finish the Asgard missions yet so who knows.

The scenery was very very beautiful and I throughly enjoyed walking around and just admiring the view no matter where I was on the map.

Reda just becoming immortal is so funny and the fact that he was just sitting there telling stories about Aya and Bayek.. please my heart. I love them so so much. The letter Bayek wrote??? Soulmates I’m telling you.

Also I did like that they fixed their plot hole for why Bayek and Aya aren’t known for anything history wise in the story (or mainly why Bayek isn’t in the assassin’s history books and Aya, as Amunet, is really the only one written down). I’m very glad that they explained it and I really think I’m just super happy that Bayek was brought back for some easter eggs within the game.

Basim is very handsome and I liked him but I don’t know how to feel about the ending with him. Yes I do love his character and it was super cool to hang around him and do a couple of missions with him but also it felt weird that now you’re technically playing as the bad guy.

Eivor was really cool to play as. I enjoyed running around as them and doing missions. I like the fact that Eivor was basically like “yo you guys [ pointing to the brotherhood ] are fucking crazy but you guys [ pointing to the templars/order of ancients ] are really fucking crazy and weird.” I really loved basically being an assassin and using the hidden blade again. (Yeah I know they technically aren’t an assassin but yknow just an honorary one).

The Canterbury Tales!! The fucking pardoner’s tale!! That was super cool to do I loved those stories and being able to do them in the game made me super happy. I know it doesn’t actually fit the timeline given it wasnt written until like centuries after the game took place but I just thought that side mission was neat!

Fulke was a very cool templar and I thought her character was really really interesting. I wish they did more with her honestly.

What I didn’t like about the game:

So! Speaking of templars! Boy oh boy I have a lot to say for that subject. So for “the order of ancients”:

— I think my biggest problem with this game (as well as odyssey) is that the templars (“OOA”) aren’t actually important to the game anymore. They’re barely in the story now like out of all 20 or so people you have to kill within their order only like 5 or 6 are actually important to the storyline and that’s my biggest problem with it, because now killing the templars is just like a “well since you’re in the area you can kill this dude” and I really hate it. I truly believe that’s why I didn’t like odyssey that much solely bc they made doing the most core part of the video game series a damn side mission and that also goes for Valhalla.

— Also so many of the templar stories, like scenes we get after you kill them, were just so bland. They don’t make them like they used to and that’s another big core part of the series lost.

— They’re straying very far from the main plot of the series and that’s why these last two games didn’t feel anything like an assassin’s creed game. (And you can’t say that “it’s just different because they’re taking place in a time way before the templars were called templars” bc assassins creed origins did very well to changing their game and how they play but also keeping the main goal from previous games: To be an assassin and kill the templars.)

— Also they need to not show us the outline of who the templars are because I could tell who “the father” was as soon as I was able to see the order tab. Please Ubisoft do better.

I know I said this before however the fucking Beowulf mission. My God Did I Hate That. I was really looking forward to the dlc and to see what they did with the story sucked. In Odyssey we got actual Greek monsters and gods and I expected to be given that in Valhalla for the norse deities. And it didn’t happen. (As of right now I can’t comment on the Asgard missions because I haven’t finished them but I’ll probably edit the post and put them in later)

As of right now with the ending and lore shit I’m really kind of indifferent with it. On one hand they are trying to fix the lore that they kind of fucked up in Odyssey by adding more things to explain it better but also that means they added on unnecessary stuff that makes no sense. On the other hand I really hate that Layla is now technically canonically dead because shes now in the grey and basim now has the one thing that would’ve kept her alive. I really wanted them to do more with her like they did with Desmond. I genuinely enjoyed her as a main protagonist and it sucks that she is now dead. Layla deserves so much better honestly!!!!

Also on des: While I don’t want to smack away a fan service gift that includes desmond; it did kind of feel weird that he’s back in the series. Honestly I don’t know how to go about this. I’m super excited that technically desmond is back in a way but on the other hand I wanted them to focus on Layla more and :( Idk man it’s complicated. They have to stop changing the story’s main protagonists Layla deserved to be in more games and hopefully she will be because her “death” felt so cheap. I also wish they explained what happened with her during the year apart from odyssey and Valhalla.

The side missions I have no problem with except for the fact that the little side mission icon just stayed in the place you first show up to to get the mission. I miss the old side mission mechanic bc this new one felt really really confusing and it made me get lost quite a few times.

This one might just be me but I guess they’re expanding more on the gods reincarnating but they’re not focusing on the sages anymore? Like when will Elijah Miles (the newest sage) be shown?? Odyssey fucked up that lore bit but now they’re not even talking about it because any isu god can reincarnate or can take ahold of anyone if they interact with a piece of eden or something. Idk this one little bit is super confusing for me right now and I don’t like that it’s confusing so I will be doing more research on the isu (again) to understand what the fuck is going on with this damn part of the lore.

I know that this is a game where you kill people but this whole game felt so gore-y that I like had to drop it for a bit. Like dude I didn’t really expect that. This one I really feel like is just me. I did not expect to like hear bones breaking when I played it.

The storyline felt kind of all over the place like yes I could understand the big part of the story but also it was all over the fucking place. I just miss the old plot I really do that had a system that was so good it caused several games to follow it’s lead. (I miss AC1 please remaster that damn game)

Also maybe it’s just me but the story felt so slow at the beginning when ur going to England. Literally I hate to say this bc I love this whole series but I was more happy about finally finishing the main storyline than I was while playing the game.

All in all: I did like the game. I did have fun even though some parts were rough. I’m super glad that they got rid/fixed the ship mechanic because I hated every fucking naval battle in assassins creed and that’s something I was worried about doing when I saw that we had longships in the story. The game was enjoyable and it had a lot of great side characters like Hytham, Gunnar, and Yanli. Basim was a treat, though I hope they explain more about him bc I’m going to be honest he’s a bit confusing with this whole loki thing. But yeah this is all I have so far on the game. If you actually read all the way down here comment or like shoot me message to talk about it bc I really really want to talk about the game. Pls pls pls.

In Regards to Kingdom Hearts UX: Dark Road; Baldr, Loki, Luxu, and Luxord

Hi there. This is True-InTha-Blue coming to you with some interesting lore I was discussing with some very wonderful people on the Destined Oath Discord server. Once again I thank them for helping me out with this analysis and mythos research, as well as asking questions that really got my brain thinking about what all of this could be. This, of course, is in relation to the Kingdom Hearts Union Cross Dark Road game that was released 6/22/20. Specifically for Chapter 1.

This does contain slight spoilers so for those who want to go in completely blind. I recommend playing through KHuX:DR first, then coming back to my theory. This will go over a lot of Norse Mythology, how it relates to this new game, what roles the characters play, and what it could mean in the future. Warning, I’m not one for screenshots so prepare for a large amount of text.

Theory time:

In KHuX:DR we’re introduced to the new character, Baldr, named after a prominent god in Norse Mythology. As the Son of Odin, Baldr’s murder is what eventually leads the world into Ragnarok, the Norse armageddon myth.

Let’s investigate the Mythos of Baldr.

Baldr is the Norse god of peace, justice, light, forgiveness, and love. He and his mother, Frigg, had prophetic dreams of his death. As such, Frigg made every object and being in existence vow to never bring harm to Baldr. Every object and being except one, mistletoe. This was because no one saw mistletoe as a threat and was too young to make such an agreement.

This made Baldr pretty much indestructible. As per usual with the Norse gods, they made sport of this by throwing dangerous stuff at the man since they knew he couldn’t die. That was until Loki decided to fashion an arrow or spear (Different tellings of the myth have different weapons) out of mistletoe. He handed this weapon over to Baldr’s blind twin brother, Hodr. Thinking that it would bounce off his brother like usual, Hodr ended up killing his brother.

Heartbroken, Frigg called upon Hermod, another one of her sons and messenger of the gods, to go to Hel and retrieve Baldr.

In Hel, the goddess Hel (it is both a location and a person. Also not to be confused as Hell), said that Baldr could be revived if everyone (objects included, alive and dead) cried for him.

In Norse mythology, “Hel” is both a place and a goddess. Hel (the place) is the norse underworld. Hel (the goddess) is the one who reigns over the Underworld. When Hermod reached Hel and asked how Baldr could be revived, he was told that if every being in existence cried for his brother, then Baldr would return.

Everyone did, except one.

Loki, disguised as the giantess Þökk (pronounced Tokk), did not cry. As such, Baldr is set to stay in Hel until Ragnarok.

Now let’s look at Loki’s role in Norse Mythology.

He is often (or always) depicted as a shapeshifting trickster. In fact much of the trickster archetype in modern stories stems from Loki’s place in mythology. For a large part of the Mythos, Loki either aids the Aesir (the Norse Gods) or is malicious towards them. No matter what Loki eventually comes to be the enemy of the Norse gods at the end of Ragnarök.

So where am I going with this?

There are two major groups of people: Those who see Odin and the Master of Masters as being the same person, and those who see Odin and Luxu as the same people. But I think that people are focusing on the wrong deity. Instead, I think that shifting the focus onto Loki is the key. As a shapeshifter, Loki has gone by many names. Luxu parallels this, as he’s most likely taken on countless different names besides “Braig” or “Xigbar”.

In fact, let’s focus on the meaning behind Luxu’s name.

Like all of the Foretellers, Luxu’s name parallels one of the Seven Deadly Sins, that of Lust (Luxuria). Loki, in a myth where he insults all of the Aesir, is called a “Pervert God”. Loki has also been accused of doing perverse things. Luxu may not have a sexual lust, but rather a lust for power. There is also the fact that Luxu is associated with the goat, a Catholic symbol of lust.

Also to note in this conversation of Loki insulting the gods. This is the one that leads Loki to being bound to a rock with a snake dripping venom over his eyes until he is released from Ragnarök. The context is that Loki killed a servant, was kicked out of a party, and then came back to ruin the party but the Skaldic god Bragi says that Loki shouldn’t be allowed back in. Loki however called on blood bonds with Odin (because they are half-brothers) to be invited.

There is one other thing of note in the myth about Loki insulting the Aesir. After a certain point, he got kicked out, only to return to ruin the party even more. The god Bragi said that he shouldn’t be allowed in, but Loki calls his blood bond with his half-brother Odin, saying he has every right to be invited. As things continue, this leads to Loki’s capture and his near eternal punishment of being bound with poison dripping on his face. Then: “Loki declaims a toast to the gods, with a specific exception for Bragi. Bragi responds that he will give a horse, sword, and ring from his possessions so that he does not repay the gods "with hatred." Loki responds that Bragi will always be short of all of these things, accusing him of being "wary of war" and "shy of shooting." Bragi responds that, were they outside of Ægir's hall, Bragi would be holding Loki's head as a reward for his lies. Loki replies that Bragi is brave when seated, calling him a "bench-ornament," and that Bragi would run away when troubled by an angry, spirited man.”

And this is also remarkably interesting because I have seen the Bragi = Braig/Luxu theory, but this kind of contradicts it. It makes me think that Bragi and Odin are red herrings in all of this. Remember, we do not know what happened to the Master of Masters, except that he ‘faded from existence’ one day. Nor do we know why or how MoM showed himself to Young Xehanort in the Keyblade Graveyard. Only Luxu has been confirmed to have the ability to change bodies

Keep in mind, the No Name Keyblade was passed down from Luxu to his student. When the time came, that student passed on the keyblade as well, the cycle continuing into the present. This was all so MoM could see into the future and author the Book of Prophecies.

Now I wish to bring up another name of Loki, that of Lóðurr. It can be translated into Lodur.

Please understand that the context between these two names is still being debated by scholars, but I think this is important to bring up nonetheless.

Lodur is one of the gods that helped create the first two humans, the others being Odin and Hoenir. Let’s assume this is just another name for Loki. Remember how earlier I said that Loki is the main archetype for both the good and bad trickster in stories? Let’s go to something you may have noticed.

Lodur. Let’s add an ‘X’, reminiscent to the old Org XIII style. It becomes Luxord.

Now remember that scene in the beginning of Re:mind DLC? With Xigbar/Luxu and Luxord asking questions about each other’s identity?

My take is that Luxord is the other role of Loki, the more beneficially trickster. Now this may be more of a stretch if not for the fact that we kinda believe/see Luxord’s somebody in Yozora’s time. As of now, it is a major point of both curiosity and contention within the fandom.

One theory is that Yozora’s world is connected to the breaking of the One World before the end of the Keyblade World. This is inferred because Yozora seems to know what a keyblade is and knows how to fight the wielder of one.

Since Lodur (the Norse god) has a hand in the creation of the world in Norse mythology, which (going by the KHuX:DR lore about the worlds’ development) may have been one of the first worlds to develop from the Keyblade War thus tying Luxord to the legacy of the keyblade war stated by Xemnas.

To add a bit on the Luxu/Xigbar and Luxord to Loki parallels:

-      Both fights with them have misdirection, trickery with locations or indirect fighting styles when confronted by Sora. This fits a trickster archetype

-      Also Braig/Xigbar uses arrowguns. In myth, Baldr was killed by an arrow (That may be a bit of a stretch though so don’t take it too seriously.)

In the end, we have a lot to think about here.

I am less inclined to look at Master Odin from KHux:DR and would rather look out for someone we have not seen yet, a Loki or a Þökk. And keep an eye on Baldr whenever he shows up.

There are many other connections to tie ‘Bad’ Loki to Luxu. Loki heralding Ragnarok could parallel the fall of Scala Ad Caelum. Loki being a Johtun but being able to hang around the Norse gods could be a parallel to how Luxu may be among the students but actually being a foreteller.

If any reader has any details they want to share to clear up some details about the mythos, want to correct an inaccuracy, or wish to elaborate on the topics more, please share them. I am always up for fun, healthy, and well-reasoned discussions.

My next theory will be about the development of the worlds and the foretellers and how they came back.

Stay tuned, Blue

[Edited by @SourCherryBomb]

Lost in the Sands, Irithyll, Anor Londo and beyond.

Spoilers for Dark Souls III for the entire post:

Irithyll is an interesting location in Dark Souls III, a snowy town with an eternal Moon upon its sky; Anor Londo being the same. However, if not obvious it was not always the case for Dark Souls III. The intentions for Anor Londo and Irithyll were much different, it can even be seen in the game still.

If one needs some information before we begin: Dark Souls III was heavily edited and reconstructed very late in the day. You can still see so many unused structures and different placements of things especially from Vordt’s room where you fly to Undead Settlement. Many maps even now have drastically rearranged, new or removed architecture, placements of buildings and locations, the works. It is a miracle that this game even came out, honestly. Nevertheless, this is needed to explain that the story was shifted around insurmountably. It is why many things in the story seem to just fall off, or seem like they don’t belong. Many things even during the DLC were absolutely switched and patchworked in to make sense or to make things even more confusing. Boss Musical Chairs is the name of the game in this game as well. Nevertheless, enjoy.

(Sorry, this is the best shot I could get for this building.)

This itself is Anor Londo. This is not the end of the world as the Ringed City would like you to believe. It was never planned to be that until they had to cut the entire concept. Yes, this means Irithyll was a desert at some point. It’s still quite obvious in the final game, but luckily snow acts the same as sand in the way it’s used but, nonetheless, here we go. In this version, it was just sand everywhere. Furthermore, this proves something by the appearance of it. It’s old, decrepit and quite frankly demolished. Ruins are all over the place and it is obviously quite large. It also appears even from Vordt’s view, not as high up as if it’s sunken into the sands. Many buildings are left to ruin and most likely, no holy sights or Gwyn or even Gwynevere statues exist anymore.  So, it’s not how it appears in the final game, and that can be explained. What would have happened is, at some point, travelling back to a past Anor Londo was necessary. How or why this was isn’t know, but, what is known is that travelling back was a thing but then possibly defeating Gwyndolin or someone that looks like Gwyndolin was necessary. If you notice, the Gwyndolin we fight as Aldrich, well that isn’t Gwyndolin. It’s just Lothric with a mask similar to Gwyndolin. It is also interesting to note, at one point, Aldrich had the ability to summon Man Grubs as one point and it links him to being Rosaria’s firstborn even more, so fun fact.

Current story aside this, well, is not Gwyndolin. The mask is so different that it looks like a Bootleg. Not to mention the clothes are entirely new, especially that the color is transparent and black. And this was most likely the case. Someone who was pretending to be Gwyndolin and faking it so that they can influence the people of Irithyll their god is still alive, somebody named Sulyvahn. See, Aldrich’s internal name is Sulyvahn. With this it can be concluded that some roles were changed, Aldrich at one point was at Archdragon Peak, way, way past Anor Londo. Then he was at the Cathedral, still far away from Anor Londo. In conclusion, Sulyvahn was this character that was acting like Gwyndolin, who is leading the Darkmoon Knights and corrupting their image. There is just a boss in the files called “Anor Londo Boss” and well, it was most likely Sulyvahn and was probably a callback to the Gwyndolin fight. At the time where you travel back to, Anor Londo was still whole, in fact the past map is actually the current map but the past map would have a “past” world state aka just a filter on the screen. Also, the entire Sulyvahn and Aldrich plot was absolutely just not here. As will be seen later. The boss that was “Moonlight Witch” and this enemy still appears in game, as the “Fire Witch”. It’s also in the art book with some impressive art, it being the boss is the reason. These enemies still bare their magic and weapons in the final game, but not the spell shown in its art.

This location by the way is called “Anor Londo Ruins” and the entire place would just be ruins and it was also the end game area, assumedly. And, once in the past, and defeating this boss some event revolving around resurrection is involved. An unused game flag called “After Resurrection” is present but sadly, nothing is known about it other than that. Except, we probably do know. Sulyvahn as we know him now is actually a boss called “Old King of the Eclipse” and was actually the final boss before Soul of Cinder. He was probably the final boss for a long while until he had to be changed due to unspecified reasons.

The Old King of the Eclipse:

This part of cut content is extremely, very, very hard to pin down lore-wise but other parts like mechanics is pretty easy to decipher. So, to state a few things I said before and some I didn’t: 

Aldrich in Archdragon Peak

Resurrection in Anor Londo

Lorian and Lothric being an early boss

Old King of the Eclipse being resurrected

Archdragon Peak lines up with Lothric Castle with some teleportation manipulation, meaning Archdragon Peak was closer at one point, incredibly close.

So, with this information we can construct a narrative: Aldrich is still a Lord of Cinder, traveling to him would be like Anor Londo now. But instead it would be in Archdragon peak. Since the Lothric princes are early bosses, no need to fight them as Lords of Cinder(them being Lords is very late, apparent by their absence in the intro cutscene.). So, three lords defeated and once at Anor Londo, a resurrection happens. Then you go to Untended Graves and unlock the Kiln of the First Flame. It is unknown if something at Anor Londo resurrected the Old King, or what it’s just up in the clouds. Also, I am not sure when this was a thing but the Pilgrim Butterflies at one point were seemingly Dragons. A lot of early stuff seemed to involve Draconic Children and really the return of Dragons in general. Which could help with the whole scenic thing of “Things are turning back to how their primal form” which would also include the world itself, which includes Dragons who were there before Gwyn and Humans. But. nevertheless, assume that this resurrection is related. 

Then, this possibly kickstarts the Eclipse or furthers it along. The Eclipse in a logistical standpoint is not explained as far as I know. It has not true explanation that gives credence to any sort of theory involving it rather than content clues. It seems that a King was born and became a holy symbol of this world ending eclipse, it is most likely that this eclipse is something like the 2012 Mayan Calendar event and when this or this happens like the resurrection, it kicks off and the world ends. The picture below is assumedly the eclipse as well as the Kiln at this point:

Also, keep in mind that this King is literally the Sulyvahn Model, from what I know, nothing drastic changed and it’s the same. The King seems to form this duality, like souls tends to do; Life and Death, Alive and Undead, Good and Evil and Light and Dark which are incredibly key opponents in the Dark Souls world. Gwyn has always been seen as the light of the world, he is literally the Sun. The Eclipse is the Moon, Darkness. An Eclipse is the Moon obscuring the Sun, and this King of the Eclipse can be well equated with a Dark Lord character archetype found in fiction. This figure that overshadows the Dark. It’s even more apparent looking at early Anor Londo, it’s absolutely destroyed.  Gwyns legacy is destroyed, at least one of its major parts.

Gwyn as a name is essentially forgotten. And yes, it is unknown how worshipped this King was, but, he’s doing way better than Gwyn, he’s still alive. So, it seems this King and the Eclipse is this symbolic thing that says “Gwyn is dead, his age of light is dead, overtaken by the dark.” and it’s way more maddening when you realize this is the apocalypse, the end of everything. Also, notice how it looks exactly like the Darksign, this bloody Moon of Darkness which covers the Sun; It’s definitely a symbol of Gwyn’s fear and his failed efforts have finally overtaken his world that he’s built. 

 It’s not only Gwyn, though. The society he built is still lingering through Lothric, in some capacity. Undead are still hated, the linking of the fire is still “needed” and supported to the point an entire Kingdom’s ethics are based around making a worthy linker. It symbolizes, in my mind, the idea of the curse and the world that the sins are bleeding onto the world as if it were saying “this has been brought onto you, by you, your blood.” Of course, Gwyn did bring the curse to humanity, but they continued to link the fire, the fear of death is a thing that lingers still: But due to humanity’s fears as well, they continued to link it. But since humanity continued this tradition. The world must sit and watch itself burn. 

Of course, this is just my theory, if you have anything else to add or you don’t agree, feel free to let me know.

Thanks for reading! (This post has been drastically edited!)

Hello folks! Welcome to June! And on the very first day of the month, I bring you this offering. You said in a poll that you were interested in the vampire WIP, so here it is. Although it says WIP, each part has been extensively edited. The story as a whole is a work in progress though, and some elements may change as it develops, although it's all mapped out and I know where it's going. It's written up to Chapter Six, and is sitting at a total of 23,000 words, so it's not going to be a small project!  You said you wanted more multi-chapters, so here it is! (I won't neglect the other ones though, I promise! Winter Solstice's next chapter is also ready to go, and is in the posting queue too!)

Now, this one is set in Skyrim - but wait! Don't stop reading now if you're not a Skyrim person!!! It's not following the events of the game, and only features a few characters from the vampire-themed DLC, Dawnguard. You don't need to know about Skyrim to enjoy it, I hope.

It centres on Kjartan, a pureblood vampire (rare) who has lived a cloistered life at the dour Castle Volkihar, located on a remote island in the northern sea of Skryim. His father, Lord Harkon, is a sadistic and obsessive vampire lord, who until just before the start of this story, had been hell-bent on bringing an ancient prophecy to pass that would darken the sun, and therefore increase his vampiric powers. In the game, I think he wants to wipe out the sun entirely, which is stupid because the humans couldn't grow crops, and the vampires would also starve without humans. I removed that element from this story becaues it's dumb af. Without spoiling what's to come, Kjartan was not treated well at the castle, and after his much older sister, Serana, returned to stop Lord Harkon's dumb plan (accompanied by the dragonborn and the anti-vampire faction, the Dawnguard), he left with her to travel Skyrim and learn how to stand on his own two feet a bit better.

Serana took him to various locations in the north of Skyrim, and discovered that he has some magical talents other than his innate vampire abilities, though he's not particularly strong. She suggested he go to the College of Winterhold, an ancient bastion of learning and scholarship, as much to socialise him as to teach him to use his magic, while she continued south to keep working with the Dawnguard.

It is at this point that we pick up Kjartan's story. I am aware that not everyone will be familiar with the lore of Skyrim, so I have tried to weave it into the worldbuilding side of the story without infodumping on you, or making you have to look stuff up.

I really hope you enjoy it - this one has come to be a real favourite of mine, with socially awkward, emotionally repressed Kjartan, and outgoing and outspoken Nora, his first friend at the college...

Any questions, please feel free to ask in the comments or on Tumblr or Discord. Otherwise, here's 3140 words of Kjartan's POV for Chapter One. It will be alternating every chapter between Kjartan and Nora. (Kjartan is pronounced with the 'j' soft, like 'kyar-tan').

Kjartan

“Your talents are… ‘adequate’ enough to gain entry to the college, but you’re hardly the strongest mage we’ve ever considered,” Faralda said condescendingly as his conjured light faded and the residual magicka in the air sputtered out. The high elven gate keeper of the college still looked like she’d swallowed something bitter though, and she continued to stare at him.

“Thank you,” he said, still standing in ankle-deep snow outside the small barbican gate of the College of Winterhold. Beyond, the leaping expanse of the ancient, crumbling stone bridge stretched away into the blizzard, partly masking the millennia-old college building behind, perched on its promontory like the lone survivor of a shipwreck. With half the town of Winterhold now sitting in the sea below the cliffs, it felt somehow apt to think of the venerable old complex of buildings that way. Of course, most of the inhabitants of the town wished the college had gone down to lie with the rest of the rubble, but that wasn’t his concern. He was here for the college, not the town.

“Ordinarily, that rather underwhelming display would have been just about enough to get you admitted to the college,” the mage went on, “But there’s very obviously something else about you which will need discussing with the Master Wizard before I can even let you set foot on the bridge, let alone into the college.”

Meekly, he bowed his head, his long black hair sliding forward to hide a handsome, if extremely pale and drawn face. He’d been waiting for that. “I understand.”

With a soft huff, Faralda nodded and ushered him into a tiny stone chamber in the gatehouse that had room for no more than a fireplace, a battered old table, two chairs, and a round window the size of a porthole. There she left him sitting with his hands in his lap, and his dark gold eyes burning. As she left and slammed the door behind her, he caught her muttering and he held his breath.

The wait for someone to appear was not as long as he’d thought it might be. Apparently it wouldn’t take hours of arguing amongst themselves. The woman who strode into the squat, stone chamber forty minutes later was short but still very much imposing, power washing off her like a font of pure magicka. She wore traditional belted mage robes that crackled with all sorts of enchantments, and her stern expression fixed itself instantly on him the moment she entered the room.  

“Kjartan Volkihar, is it?” she said in a gravelly alto voice as she stood in the open doorway, letting all the snow flurry in from outside. The single candle on the table guttered instantly and left nothing but the soft glow of his eyes and the weak light from the window to his left. It was clear that she was not impressed or even intimidated - if her steady heartbeat was anything to go by - and that she knew of his family’s reputation. “A vampire. And a pureblood, nonetheless.”

There was little point denying it. He couldn’t hide with illusion magic from someone as powerful as Mirabelle Ervine, or change his unnatural eyes with their entirely black sclera and red-gold irises, glowing even in strong sunlight. Illusion spells might work on the everyday peasant, but to those two mages here in the dimly lit room, his eyes must have shone like the recently extinguished candle flame.  

“Well, it’s not entirely without precedent, you’ll be pleased to hear, but I need to know you can control yourself,” she said, and before either Kjartan or Faralda could have prepared for or prevented it, she had drawn a little belt knife from its sheath at her waist and nicked her inner wrist. Blood welled up, bright and hot and ferrous, and his eyes went immediately to it. Thirst clamped at his tongue and throat and his canines throbbed in his gums, but he never moved so much as a muscle in his body.  

The slow drip - loud as hammer blows to the vampire - of falling drops onto the stone was the only sound in the room for almost a minute, time stretching. He wrenched his eyes from the crimson liquid after only a few heartbeats, and fixed her with his careful gaze instead, and all the while she glowered at him, wrist bleeding, daring him to react. Finally with a flick of her other hand, warm, golden light sparkled at the cut, the skin stitching itself back together, and in an instant the damage was healed.  

“Apologies for such theatrics,” she said, voice clipped and professional as she entered the room and closed the door. While she spoke, she began to pace. “I had to make sure of your reactions and control, and warning you would have spoiled the test.”

Read the whole thing right now, as well as all the Mermay 2020 posts (five in total, including extra artwork) and a surprise, nsfw ‘ghost lover’ story, plus everything that’s been posted already on Patreon!

Name: Satebo

Debut: Satellaview

“Weird Mario Enemies dot Squarespace dot Egg, are you going through fifty loopholes to justify including something that is ostensibly not Mario-themed at all on the blog?” Yes! Yes we are!

Satebo, alongside his friend, Parabo, was one of the mascots of the Nintendo Satellaview, a weird Japanese add-on for the Super Famicom which we have talked about before here! To put it simple, the Satellaview allowed you to download video games through satellite broadcasts, and Satebo represents the satellite that data would be sent to so it could be broadcasted in your homes. But what exactly makes Satebo a Weird Mario Entity?

Thank you again, Wario’s Woods Burst of Laughter Edition, for helping to make this post possible! As you can see here on the title screen, our favorite satellite, Satebo, is right up there in the corner, which legally makes him a Weird Mario Entity! That’s pretty much the entire extent of Satebo’s relation to anything Mario-related at all, but if we ended the post right there, it’d be pretty disappointing, no? So let’s dive more into Satebo’s role on the Satellaview, both as a mascot and as a character!

Every time you boot up the Satellaview system, the lovely face of Satebo will be there to help you out! And what a friendly face he is, as he is here to welcome you to your town and help you load up whatever games you want to play!

For those of you who did not know, the main “hub world” of the Satellaview was The Town Whose Name Was Stolen, stolen and unfortunately replaced with the name “The Town Whose Name Was Stolen.” Apparently Satebo worries about the well-being of this town a lot, though the exact extent to which he does, I do not know! Unfortunately, information on these characters takes a lot of digging around online, but there are fortunately some dedicated fans of this system and these characters, some of which I found myself, some of which helped me personally! Truly, informing the world of obscure video game characters is a team effort.

The Town Whose Name Was Stolen also appears in a series of games called Satellawalker, which turns the hub world of the system into an actual world of a game, meaning we get to see more of Satebo! Hooray! Apparently in one of the episodes, Satebo gets kidnapped! Less hooray! Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to have Satebo living in my home, but kidnapping is never the right answer! Just invite him over to visit on Tuesdays and Fridays, I’m sure he’d understand!

In-universe, Satebo appears to be created by someone named Dr. Hiroshi, who I can find no information about online other than the fact that he’s the guy that apparently created Satebo and his friend, Parabo. Apparently Satebo is also his assistant, but I don’t have much more on that either! A comic that came with the system, however, showed an ordinary satellite and satellite dish transforming into these characters, so whether Satebo is some kinda robot or a once-satellite who transformed into a real boy is up to the imagination!

Oh right! Parabo! I suppose we can dedicate this post to him, too, since he IS Satebo’s best friend, and it feels rude to talk about one without the other. Since Satebo represents the satellite that broadcasts information into people’s homes, Parabo represents the dish that receives that information from the broadcast! In the comic, we learn that he was bored with his job as a satellite dish, and was considering quitting, but after learning about the exciting fun of the Satellaview from Satebo, decided to stay! Apparently Satebo is able to call Parabo using their Satellite antennae, which I think is very cute and charming, fittingly so for characters as cute and charming as these two! I’m not sure if I’ll talk quite as much about Parabo, since he isn’t even technically a Weird Mario Entity, but I feel like both of them deserve your love!

I mean look at this wonderfully cozy mid-90s CG art featuring the two characters! Most old CG art just looks kind of hilariously awkward these days, but this? Well, just just feels right. This feels comfortable. I want to live in this world. Can we get some more of this?

Thank you!

But I hear what you’re saying. “Oh, Great Mod Hooligon, is there any video game where I can play as either of these characters?” And to that I say, “You’re in luck!”

In the Satellaview game BS-X Shooting, which you can find here on the Satellablog, you actually PLAY as Satebo in a wild shoot ‘em up adventure! Throughout the game, there are enemies and bosses that look like Satebo and Parabo both, however... is this lore? Are Satebo and Parabo just at an early stage in their life cycle? Or are these enemies simply the same species as Satebo and Parabo under the effects of a dark evil? Perhaps these are malevolent mimics? Perhaps we are reading into a goofy video game too much again? All of these could very much be possible!

The Satellaview is such a strange and interesting part of Nintendo’s history, and this post is only scratching the surface of all there is to know about it, but unfortunately, the Satellaview hasn’t gotten too much acknowledgement from Nintendo ever since, well... the age of the Satellaview itself, save for a costume referencing the system in Super Mario Odyssey! And Parabo and Satebo have been acknowledged even less, not even getting a spirit in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate... what a pity!

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I’d love to see these characters make a return for really just about any reason, whether they’re mascots for some new online service, or as playable characters in a new IP, or even a new “Nintendo History” fighter in Smash, in the same vein as R.O.B. or Mr. Game & Watch!

...Then again, people have noticed that the DLC fighters in Smash don’t seem to be characters with spirits. Hmmmm....

leafeana replied to your post: 

WAIT i was just scrolling through your blog cause im hungry for content and saw this again and realized you asked what version i was playing? which i dont remember answering whoops

im playing it on pc! which is great bc then i get to mess around with mods (like the one that gives cindy some real clothing lol) but its also got its downsides since my computer is definitely not a gaming computer, which means graphics take a serious hit and lagging isnt uncommon

im...not sure if its royal edition?? I think windows edition has all the features of royal edition, although im not completely sure. I think luna has a cutscene in Insomnia thats only in royal edition, so once im there ill be able to tell. technically im in Insomnia now but ive time traveled back and it might be a while before i push on to the finale. after dealing with Altissia --> the start of Insomnia linearly i wanted some time to chill with the bros and pretend

everything is fine for a while. it has been a WILD ride for sure and yeah I haven't even started up any of the dlc yet! theres so much content!! ive been practicing playing as the other bros during medium-hard combat which has kept it feeling really fresh too. also its hilarious just blasting bad guys with a bazooka while the other people are in there swinging around swords and knives. and i haven't done any of the crossover quests yet, which seem big and exciting!

ill be forever sad that i missed the assassins festival but theres definitely plenty to do that I'm excited for. and im getting really into the fishing!! charmed is definitely the right word like..its not perfect at all but this game is so genuinely endearing with its characters personalites and development and its themes and music as well and it really does some things SO well.

god okay this is a lot of words. sorry for rambling and for the late reply! no one i know plays this game or has much interest in it so youre getting all my bottled up enthusiasm

PLEASE DO NOT EVER APOLOGISE FOR RAMBLING SEND ME AS MUCH AS I LOVE WORDS AND THOUGHTS AND TALKING ABOUT FFXV DUDE <3333 also literally no worries about late replies or replying at all im forever shit at them myself i get it bro nw nw nw

hell yeah pc is royal edition with a bunch of other shit and the dlcs (bar ardyn) incorporated, dont worry, also i would die for that one cindy in a decent outfit mod i know the exact one youre on about LOL (also i can recommend you some other mods if u like!!)

if i can share some knowledge with you right quick cuz i had the same problem and wouldve died to have someone tell me i went from barely 20fps on a good day to being able to run multiple programs with ffxv in the background; specialk is a very quick install and majorly helped with multithreading; otherwise for the in game options are using low resolution texture pack (assets option); shadows look near visually identical on the lowest option compared to the highest; all nvidia effects can be turned off with no significant graphic change; turning off anti aliasing entirely genuinely makes the game look better for me; i can post my full settings if itll help you and ive also read through a few tutorials for modding around lag so i can try and help you with that, i do get pretty major lag spikes though and frequently find it near impossible to stream/record, but i manage to nail that 60fps on average if im solely running ffxv with a few cut corners like those

also dont blame you with altissia, ngl i boiled through the story rollercoaster right quick after exploring most of the open world before even touching altissia and ended up ignoring all postgame content for starting a new save immediately and replaying just to get that hangout time in the open world that wasnt just go-back-in-time-through-magic-dog. but i feel you so hard dude i just want more of them chilling. literally i have 300 hours in this game already and i know half of those have been using the car listening to tunes LMFAO

yeah the crossover quests are funnn the one with terra wars is sweet and the ffxiv one is SO funny its literally hysterical i was roaring with laughter a couple times!!! and good on you practising i didnt touch any of the extended combat until my third save and yeah honestly if you want to do the postgame menaces those skillsll come in useful, its funny because the maingame bosses arent that hard but the postgame is mental. but yeah i love blowing shit up with proms bazooka it fucking rules nerds can keep their swords

ALSO SAME... i wanna play the promptis date so bad!! i wanna play episode duscae so bad!!! wanna play the platinum demo with baby noctis so bad!! knowing theyll never be ported kills meeeeee. sad & upset but as you say theres so much to do and the dlc honestly offer so much im still finding shit i havent done and ive spent a year playing already

honestly so much of this game for me is literally just booting it to go hang with the guys its really relaxing lmfaooo... hiking around with these goofy dudes. sometimes i just wanna chill with the anime boys. YEAH literally its sweet and charming and then fucking heartbreaking and even though the writing is hammy as hell im honestly so willing to forgive it. not only for the clear amount of care and love that went into specifically building the guys relationship (which anyone knows is the best and most realised part of the game) but the details and amount of lore you can uncover if you take a step and interpret a little. maybe thats too generous a statement for what was an executive nightmare and critically underdeveloped but i grew up on ffxiii and knowing the versus 13 lore and that ffxv was part of that extended canon im satisfied with it being another side to that story and running with that. i think supplemented with its additional content years after release ffxv isnt a complete experience but enough of one to leave an impact or at least it did majorly for me! ive been obsessed.

OMG sorry im nerding too its all good lol just genuinely i love this game and its hard to find people talking about it these days but i really had such a good time and still am continuing to and i love it fuck it ball hard

real shit though it has the best fishing minigame of all time hands down nothing has come close fuck the haters

Yo! I see all this final fantasy stuff on your pf and it looks interesting. But, I have no idea where to start it??? Like where to I go? Is it a book? A show?? Pretty sure someone once told me it was a game?? Is it a game?? I'm clueless over here dammit. Where do I go to start reading/watching/whatever final fantasy??

*cracks knuckles* MY TIME HAS COME. In all seriousness though, the main Final Fantasy stuff I reblog is from or about the Final Fantasy XV universe. In case Final Fantasy as a whole is unfamiliar to you, it is a franchise of games (and occasionally other stuff) that all share the same name and a few basic world-building elements but are actually a different story each time (Final Fantasy VII, the other one I reblog is totally different universe from FFXV).

NOW. FFXV is the latest in their lineup of games and, again, the one I post most often about (the Nox verse AU that has been haunting my blog is a fanfic of FFXV). It is on PS4, Xbox One, Windows PC and Google Stadia (whatever that last one is) and I CANNOT recommend it enough. If you have anything that will play it, try it, but make sure to get the Royal Edition. It has an extra dungeon, more side quests, extra gloriously heart-breaking ending cutscenes, and all the dlc but like- one of them which was released after the Royal Edition came out. I have all the patches and stuff and I don’t regret buying the vanilla day one version in the slightest, but it IS less insanity inducing to get it all in one neat package (my Walmart has been selling the ps4 Royal Ed for like- 20-ish bucks for over a month now and I think it’s currently around that price on their online store too).

Keep in mind, this is not a game to rush through. You CAN, but it will be hard (never believe the level min on the quests, except for like- the first five, you need to be at least three levels higher than the min if you want to survive without using up all your med supplies) AND you’ll miss out on the more subtler pieces of world building. The plot likes to hide in the background sometimes and there’s even two extra cutscenes that you can miss if you’re in too much of a hurry. So if you get it, just take your time in ENJOY it. Explore the gorgeous open world, listen to the four MCs do really good random dialogue, find the little side-quests and random in-game news articles/books that tell you in-game lore. It’s a great game world to get lost in and there are a few quests that only become available post game so there’s still stuff to do after you finish the main storyline (you can also replay individual chapters and all their associated story quests if you want without having to replay the entire game from scratch or new game plus). :D

NOW. One or two things of note is that the game isn’t the only part of the FFXV segment of the franchise. They also released a prequel movie called Kingsglaive (I recommend playing the game first? But either works) and it’s ... it’s one of those imperfectly perfect movies, you know? I know some people don’t like it but I love it and therefore I recommend watching it at least twice, once just for the overall feel and the second time to pick out all the unspoken character cues and clues there are (because there are a lot, the motion capture is lovely, also Sean Bean plays King Regis in the movie and he’s awesome at it).

There is also a five-ish episode anime on youtube you can watch called Final Fantasy XV: Brotherhood which offers flashbacks to the four MCs of the game and how they met/glimpses of their childhood and stuff. Also one on Ardyn, but DON’T WATCH THAT ONE until you’ve finished the game. Seriously, don’t. It’s a major Spoiler Alert.

Sooo, yeah. TL;DR Final Fantasy is a massive franchise that you do not have to start from number 1 in order to get into because each installment is different, FFXV is their latest and my favorite game ever despite it’s quirks and flaws and if you play it and become a fellow fan, feel free to come screech at me in my ask box because I will happily screech back.

Or you can watch walkthroughs of it on youtube if you can’t/don’t want to play it. That works too. :DD

Cool Games I Finished In 2019 (In No Real Order)

We’re here. The end of the decade. 2019 was a weird, turbulent year for me. Despite my cross-country move already being a year behind me somehow, nothing’s really settled yet. Living situation is still weird, still separated from most of my belongings, I left my full-time QA job for a contractor position at a mobile game advertising company that may or may not convert into a full-time position... everything about what’s going on with me still just feels like I’m completely winging it, and while that’s not a position I’m really comfortable being in for such an extended amount of time, everything seems to be working out okay enough despite it. All this is probably why I spent most of my time playing the shit out of a handful of games rather than playing a bunch of different games this year! Needed some sort of stability. Also when I did manage to pull myself away from the timesink games and play something else, a lot of them ranged from “okay” to “real bad”. But I still managed to play just enough stuff that I liked to where I can put out yet another one of these.  Here’s a bunch of cool games I experienced for the first time in 2019.

Phantasy Star Online: Blue Burst (PC, 2005)

I haven’t bothered to do two thirds of the story quests yet and have barely touched any Episode 4 content so this game technically doesn’t count for this list, but if I left it off I would be neglecting to mention an extremely large portion of my video game playing time this year. I fell back into PSO preeeettty hard this year after the surprise announcement of Phantasy Star Online 2 finally coming to the US. Guess what: game still rules. It feels stiff to play and it’s obviously far less expansive than it seemed back in 2000, but the core of Phantasy Star Online is still as fun as it ever was and the aesthetics are still entirely my shit. I love everything about the way this game looks and sounds, I love stumbling on a weird new weapon, I love participating in the custom seasonal events the server I’m on runs, and I love how oddly relaxing the experience of playing this game and taking it all in is. I will probably continue to play Phantasy Star Online into 2020. I will probably still dip back into it after PSO2 US servers finally launch. If I know you and you want to join my Discord server for PSO get at me. PSO forever.

Cookie’s Bustle (PC, 1999)

You ever play a game that just speaks to you? Even through a language barrier? A game so incredibly out there and bizarre in the exact way you love that you can’t help but adore it despite barely understanding it? Holy moly did I ever find that game. I learned about Cookie’s Bustle through a news story last year about some rare games leaking from a Japanese collector’s stash. Didn’t manage to get it to run back then, but my off and on attempts to get it working finally paid off in March of this year and I’m so glad I kept trying. I knew nothing of this game other than it had a weird name and was about a bear doing sports, and it turned out to be a fully voice-acted and mostly unsubtitled adventure game starring Cookie Blair, a 5 year old girl from New Jersey who sees herself as a teddy bear and has traveled to Bombo World, an island nation once visited by aliens and currently in the middle of a civil war, to participate in the Bombo Sports Tournament. Dead level, I probably shouldn’t have been able to genuinely love Cookie’s Bustle as much as I did. The only context I had for what was happening and what I was supposed to do was provided by a 20-year-old Google translated walkthrough with broken images, the game’s slightly higher than usual reliance on English loan words, and 30-ish years of video games and anime allowing me to halfway pick up on a handful of Japanese words. However, Cookie’s Bustle is dripping with an undeniable and off-beat charm that genuinely transcends language. Even if you can’t understand the words and specifics, you can understand the basic plot, characterizations, and emotions they’re going for. Cookie’s Bustle manages to both be completely off-the-wall bizarre and feel totally genuine and heartfelt at the same time, a balance very few games manage to successfully hit but many of my favorites do. One could say that’s why it seems to have resonated with a decent amount of other people this year, too. Games rarely make me feel sad that they’re over. but when they do that’s how I know they’re one of the good ones. Seriously, go look up a longplay or stream of Cookie’s Bustle if you (understandably) don’t want to go through the hassle of setting it up and figuring out how to play it, it’s impossible not to love.

Devil May Cry 5 (PlayStation 4, 2019)

Here’s something crazy to think about: Devil May Cry 4 came out 11 years ago. Aside from being a potent reminder that time is moving too fast and we’re all going to die soon, that means that there hasn’t been a DMC for over a decade. Devil May Cry 5 does not bare this fact even a little bit. Not only did they pick up right where they left off and manage to make another Devil May Cry game without missing a beat, they made arguably the best Devil May Cry game. I mean I still like the story and single-character focus of DMC3 the best, but DMC5 is the best playing game in the series without a doubt. Nero finally feels like he has a complete and complex toolset, Dante is the most mechanically dense and fun to play he’s ever been, and they even added a new guy that’s... neat to play as, until you start trying to S-rank the harder difficulties. Then he’s kind of annoying to play as. But it’s still cool that they tried something totally different and mostly got it to work! They also did something very stupid that I love and used this game as an excuse to make literally every single piece of Devil May Cry media canon. Like, characters exclusively from the anime and the books show up and act like they’re someone you already know and love? And they go out of their way to explain the most esoteric lore shit possible?? And despite it all they still intentionally give DMC2 as short a shrift as they can??? It’s so dumb, it rules. It’s just one of the many things about the game that show that even with so long of a gap between entries, no love for the series was lost by the people that make it. I don’t think the suits at Capcom expected this game to hit as hard as it did though, because despite there being clear areas where the game could be expanded on with DLC there still hasn’t been anything announced. I hope they’re maybe saving it for some sort of DMC3-esque special edition, or maybe just already working on DMC6, because even after getting all S-ranks I still wanted to play more. The game’s just that damn good.

Hypnospace Outlaw (PC, 2019)

I expected very little from Hypnospace Outlaw. I backed the game on Kickstarter solely because it looked cool and I thought a game about fake GeoCities was neat, and then I immediately forgot about it until it released. Admittedly my lack of expectations stemmed mostly from the fact that it’s kind of hard to set expectations for a game you never really thought too hard about, but even in the brief period of time where I considered it enough to give it money, I never expected it to be much more than a pretty-looking 101 Great GeoCities Jokez delivery vehicle. Boy was I wrong. I mean, it is incredibly good at that, but Hypnospace Outlaw is so much more than a funny period piece. The basic premise is that you’re in alternate universe 1999 and have just become a community moderator for an Internet service provider that allows people to connect to the Internet while they sleep. You’re tasked with browsing the game’s weird fake Internet and issuing demerits to users who violate the five basic Hypnospace rules, but it quickly evolves into something way bigger. Hypnospace Outlaw’s greatest strength is its exceptional ability at weaving together subtle world building, small and engaging character arcs, esoteric microjokes, and a genuine sense of mystery and discovery into an incredibly cohesive and engaging package. It’s as much a game about the people that use and run its weird fake Internet as it is about that weird fake Internet itself. And a lot of the problems both face echo the problems we face with our real world Internet today. When I was mapping out writing this article like a month or two ago I was prepared to go on about how at its core, Hypnospace Outlaw is an incredibly poignant story about how uncaring tech corporations actively harm their users and always have, but then a couple of days ago I read Colin Spacetwinks’ game of the year list and his #1 entry put most everything I would have said about that topic down in a way more eloquent and well-written way than I ever could have. And then I remembered that Friend Of The Site Heidi Kemps covered some of the same angle but from the perspective of the early Internet in an article earlier this year, again way better than I could have. So I highly recommend you read those when you’re done here. What I wanna bring up instead is just how effortlessly surprising and interconnected a lot of stuff in Hypnospace feels, using a mildly spoiler-ish late game example. Two of the first “zones” you’re allowed to moderate when you start Hypnospace Outlaw are Teentopia and Goodtime Valley, which are essentially alternate universe Yahooligans and a little slice of Hypnospace just for Boomers respectively. On Teentopia you’ll see a bunch of kids that are wild for Squisherz, Hypnospace’s alternate universe version of Pokémon, and over in Goodtime Valley you’ll see (much like there was back in real world 1999) a few pages made by religious fundamentalists convinced that everything the kids like these days is the work of Satan. This of course includes Squisherz, and you can find a page by one organization full of crackpot conspiracy theories with flimsy evidence that TOTALLY DEFINITELY backs up their claim. Squisherz contains a wolf, which the Bible warns about many times! This giraffe monster CLEARLY has a pentagram in its design!! And the eye of this snake-like Squisherz is the eye of Horus, an Egyptian occult symbol and NEED I REMIND YOU that Lucifer took the form of a snake in the Garden of Eden!!! It is very clear what this page is goofing on and throughout the course of the game it doesn’t get updated at all, so it’s very easy to laugh at it and forget about it. Very late into the game, you get an optional sidequest. Adrian Merchant, one of the CEOs of Merchantsoft, the company that created Hypnospace, was found out to have logged traffic indicating he was a frequent visitor of a website called Children of HORUS, and a call is put out to investigate what that even is. You can easily find the website, but it asks you for a password if you click the Enter button. Adrian Merchant is consistently portrayed throughout the game as a complete idiot, and the solution to this puzzle has you capitalize on that. Another early game objective ended up with you finding a list of cracked passwords, and one of those passwords happens to be for the instant messenger account of Adrian Merchant. If you can remember that he was even in that text file from forever ago, and then put two and two together that of COURSE that dumbass would use the same password for everything, you just punch in his messenger password and you’re granted access to the Children of HORUS page. It turns out that HORUS is an acronym that stands for Hiding Occult References in Utmost Secrecy, and the page itself is a basic leaderboard with a list of names and two numbered columns reading “Hidden” and “Found”. In that list of names you’ll find A. Merchant, along with the names of various other CEOs and celebrities you might have read about elsewhere in Hypnospace. One of the other names on this list is F. Kazuma, the CEO of Monarch, creators of Squisherz. The funny conspiracy theory website from the beginning of the game that you most likely forgot about was, about this one specific thing, correct. There was an eye of Horus hidden on the snake from Squisherz. Not as any sort of Satanic plot, mind you, but only as part of some weird millionaire dickwaving contest. This dumb tiny revelation is not called out by the game at all and nothing comes of it, it’s just there for you to notice if you’ve been paying enough attention. Hypnospace Outlaw is LITTERED with stuff like this. Weird small interconnected things you wouldn’t expect to be interconnected. Little dumb things you wouldn’t expect to have any sort of payoff but somehow do. And it’s also just as chock full of big things. Having all the pieces fall into place at once to where I was able to access Hypnospace’s equivalent of the dark web was the best sequence in a game this year for me, even beating out the outlandish shit in DMC5. Getting and solving the final case was a rush. Hypnospace Outlaw is full of incredible moments big and small. It’s genuinely engaging and affecting, which is so much more than I was expecting from a game that was pitched to me as “Funny GeoCities Cop”. It almost has no right being so good. But it is. Hell, even the music rules! I didnt even get into that! I don't have enough time or space to get into that now! The music is so goddamn good! I know I started these lists because I had no interest in ranking games, but every year I sort of jokingly-but-not-jokingly say “haha this game sure would be my number one if I did that!” for at least one game. It’s time to fully lean into it. I don’t gotta rank ‘em all, but I can pick a favorite. Hypnospace Outlaw is my favorite game of 2019 with a goddamn bullet.

These games were also cool, I just had less to say about them:

Etrian Odyssey (Nintendo DS, 2007): Man, this series just started out good, huh? I dabbled with the first two games in college when I got a DS flashcart but never really dug in until EO4, and the first game is enjoyable in just about every way the modern ones are. Definitely more barebones and punishing though. Kero Blaster (PlayStation 4, 2017): This is a game by the creator of Cave Story that does not aim to be Cave Story, and that’s fine! A fun little shooter in its own right, though I do think the shooting in Cave Story felt a little better than it does here. Space Invaders Extreme (Nintendo DS, 2008): I played the shit out of this game in college thanks to that flashcart I mentioned before, but I never finished a playthrough in full until this year for some reason. Still way stylish and way fun! I need to get a copy of the second one... CROSSNIQ+ (Nintendo Switch, 2019): Incredibly chill puzzle game that can be as hard or easy as you want it to be. Almost uncanny in how well it emulates the style of late PS1/Dreamcast games. Super Mario Maker 2 (Nintendo Switch, 2019): Mario Maker 2 is kind of weird for me. It’s a solid improvement in a lot of aspects, but a clear regression in a lot of others. Also the online multiplayer is the second least amount of fun I’ve had with a video game this year (Secret of Mana swooped in and stole the number one slot near the end). Still, I had a lot of fun with it and I’ll probably end up going back to it eventually. Katamari Damacy Reroll (Nintendo Switch, 2018): The original Katamari Damacy is still every bit as fun and charming as it was upon its original release. This port is weirdly based on the Japanese version with the English text inserted, which means no English voice acting and Wanda Wanda only plays in the multiplayer mode. The Joycon sticks also aren’t the greatest for doing charge rolls. But none of these faults detract too much from the game. Bring on We Love Katamari Reroll! Earth Defense Force 5 (PlayStation 4, 2018): Sandlot somehow keeps finding ways to make each new EDF bigger and explodier, and EDF5 is the biggest and explodiest yet. I think the mission design in 4.1 was more solid overall, but 5 feels the best to play and has the most fun tools. Also the dialogue is the most absurd its ever been, and the final boss goes for it way harder than the series ever has. Pokémon Shield (Nintendo Switch, 2019): This game is honestly just okay, but leaving it off would again be neglecting a game I put a ton of time into this year. Pokémon Sword is fun in the way most Pokémon games usually are, and extremely half-baked in basically every other aspect. I’m still having a good time putting together teams and finding shinies and doing The Pokémon Thing regardless.

And that’s 2019 (and this decade) in the bag! I don’t know where anything’s going from here, but I’m going to ride it out as best as I can! I hope you do too! As always, thank you so much for getting to the bottom of all these words. I’m hoping to be in a more stable place mid-2020, and then I want to get back to all the things I haven’t had time to do. I want to get back to streaming, I want to write more dumb articles like The Best Babies, I want to do it all! I hope I will be able to do it all. Until then!

Canon: Zane Flynt fucks

Me: haha u know what this means ;))))

Me:

Me:

Me: merfolk glamour time

[[MORE]]

Alright but for real tho u wanna see how deep I am in this fucking universe? Lego

I don't even know where to begin with this universe (Zer0 is an alien! Hammerlock is a werewolf! Troy is psychic! Tannis is a skag! Wait, no, wrong shitpost...) so imma open the 140 page document and start from the beginning

Annnnd Clay! Junpai-7.

When Zane meets Clay for the first time he mentions they did a smuggling job together on Junpai-7, u know, the water planet, so obviously this is good news (This made me super happy because my discord channel's name had been the junpai-7 moon pool for a while so I was like 'holy shit it's canon now' :') )

Timeline wise this isn't the beginning, but I don't write in chronological order and I don't order anything in chronological order, either, so. Eh.

Speaking of chronological order, I once got a line where Zane was like exclaiming something and used the moon instead of idk a god or powerful figure or smth and I was like 'lmao that's canon now'

So the moon... Elpis fucking got yeeted halfway across the galaxy or smth, and, considering we've seen (more) ocean on Pandora in 3 instead of just, like, Liars Berg (getting to THAT) or Tretchers landing, I feel bad for the tides. But that's good news for everyone else. Unless you were on Elpis, I guess.

Also hoh boy the 'end' of the game where Troy Phaselocks the moon was fun to write (it actually wasn't, I lowkey hate writing Moonstruck phases because... It hurts and I can't do it well.) also can we talk about how in tps the psychos are called Moonstrucks in tvhm because this makes me so happy. I really hope they did that intentionally considering H2O is an Australian show because my two favorite things combined can and will kill me. Wait actually the Troy boss fight is gonna be hilarious to write mostly because of that one attack with the tidal waves lol oh no

Also, also, also, you guys it's only explained in a guide book and never actually in-game as to why Captain's ship is Like That (TM) so I took some liberties and uhhh blame the Crackening. I mean the crackening happened after dahl pulled out of Pandora/Elpis so it works. It sorta works. It mostly works. Fuck. It works okay? shut. That's why Liars Berg is all frozen ocean [shoves 3 page essay about climate change on Pandora into the trash] don't need that anymore.

I was gonna talk about smth else

Oh yeah

Mostly brain freeze and trick of the light. That one meme video I made of Tannis and the Flynt Brothers imposed over that one clip of H2O (so let me get this straight: you freeze things, you explode things, and you boil things) wasn't just for laughs, it was actually a warning.

Each Flynt has a thing and Zane's is ice, Baron's is explosions, and Captain's is fire. (Glorious cleansing fire) Because it fits. It fits so well. I will say right off the bat that Mako Mermaids isn't my canon. I lowkey want to write out Charlotte as well (lol) because I've seen the 2nd season so many times and tbh I much prefer them having 1 really strong power over having 3+ really weak powers. Also Charlotte did nothing wrong in the first half of that season. Cleo was just a bitch to her. And Mako Mermaids is just. Not great on the power side of things. You can TURN INVISIBLE. USE IT. Soooo. (also cam got destroyed in s1 and I'm so glad they ended up making him work in s2 and 3. Because he deserved better and Zac was a terrible friend to him and only got away with it because he's a main character). /rant sorry I have so many feelings about these shows. Grew up with them soooooo.

And if ur wondering why I brought up trick of the light it's cause the 13th year exists and that movie was bopping. U guys remember Jess? Good times... Tuba pool scene is iconic. U know the one. I would also bring up aquamarine but ngl that movie was weaksauce comparatively. They hid that bitch in a water tower and iunno talked to earrings. Meanwhile in the 13th year they bring Jess back from the fucking dead and climb on walls like Spiderman. Clearly one is superior.

"but cruddy Aurelia has ice powers too and she's not a mermaid" no she's a werewolf like her brother we already went over that. Did u think I was kidding? No! I'm never kidding unless I am and I fucking love werewolves so I'd never kid about that. I love werewolves and I love Hammerlock and it's perfect I just love the idea of this gentlemanly hunter being a werewolf because I want to see a giant hulking monster being all proper and shit. They're just really cool. Werewolves > vampires and ngl I'm sad skyrim screwed over werewolves with the dawnguard dlc. Anyway Aurelia's ice powers are nanobots as explained in-game and listen I already lore-scienced this okay? Let me say it's amazing the things science is capable of when it thinks it's trying to beat out a competitor and doesn't realize non-Siren magic exists. Even better now that we know Sirens are not Eridian and actually existed before Eridians. Makes me giddy to think about. The universe is tearing me APART Lisa.

Oh speaking of, can we talk about the witch's brew quest on eden-6 because holy shit I had been writing Hiromi and her fascination with discovering all the secret circles long before the game came out and then learning about the group of witches and The Pact (TM) made me lose my shit because 'oh my god it's actually canon now'. We're on the canon path nowwwww. Soon. I hope we get a water planet dlc. I wants it, GB, I wants it.

Also I was totally gonna write a clip in the main story of the game (because I write a lot of backstory stuff if you can't tell, I only have like 3 scenes that take place during the events of the game and like 4 that are speculatory from before the game came out (including a scene from before I realized Troy was Like That but I edited it so he's more in-line and also has Maya's powers now so that's... Hm. In line with the storyline somewhere, but not an actual scene in the games story. Because its not possible with how the game does things (seperating Vault Hunters) I suppose I could just insert a 5th Vault somewhere and say it's the 4th Vault connected to the Machine (with nekrotefeyo's being the 5th). Fuck it.) and then 9,000 are backstory) where Hiromi comes back after like decades of the two not seeing each other and she's been hired to assassinate Zane by one of the many corporations looking for his corpse for a multitude of reasons (And Emma and Nino are both d e a d a s f, you know, for context). And like Barnabas (ya old bastard) Zane is still joking around and just having a grand old time catching up with his black ops buddy meanwhile she had just tried to blow his brains out (she's a sniper) and got pretty damn close. She's not even amused because of her psychic powers so she's just like 'ok' every time he opens his mouth because she already knows what he's going to say she's mostly just frustrated that she missed because she thought she knew him well enough to go off instead of just listening to her intuition but alas people change after, like, 3 decades of not seeing them.

Oh since we're talking about Hiromi that reminds me why Zane wears the black suit. In my non-h2o universe it's because it looks cool and provides some protection from dots. In the H2Oniverse it is because it's waterproof. Okay wait hang on context so Hiromi doesn't like take off his suit or anything, she's extremely gay and not interested, because I realize now how that sounds me relating Hiromi to the clothes, they just get into an argument about how Sirens don't have to follow any arbitrary rules to hide their magic and how it's easier to hide magic without giant glowing tattoos (and mind you this is before Zane even knows Tannis exists though he does immediately know she's a Siren and that's a whole nother can of worms) and hr's like 'I wear a bodysuit for most of my waking hours, so I am pretty sure they can try wearing long sleeved shirts and makeup for a day. Just a suggestion' but like way more in character (and for the scene) because do I sound like I'm in character right now? I'm not. I'm me. And God what a terrible thing to be.

So context for the context: ~magic is real~. If you've got it then you can usually tell who else has it if you're looking. It's especially clear if they're 'similar' to you (if ur a werewolf and u meet another werewolf then you sorta just know they're a werewolf) or if you're psychic (like Hiromi) then you can make some informed guesses. Like. Same Hat? Same Hat!!! Sirens are basically such powerful magic users that they are in literally a whole nother ball park. They're leagues above everyone else. Kill you just by looking at you sort of deal. So sirens normally don't feel other magic because their own magic is so strong it just 'overwrites' the other signals. You know, to not only explain why Lilith isn't immediately like 'who the fuck are you' to Zane and also how Amara couldn't tell Tannis is a Siren. I had a whole thing with Troy (who is psychic) being able to tell Zane had magic despite being near 4 Sirens at once because Troy grew up with Tyreen always at his side so he's used to it and knows how to look through it. Meanwhile Hiromi is basically incapacitated when she's near a Siren because she gets overwhelmed because her powers make it easier for her to read other people's magic.

Oh, context, the black ops outfit worked with Atlas for a short time (the group being Zane, Hiromi, Emma, and Nino. Emma is the yeehaw captain. She's the leader) and ended up meeting Steele for a little bit. Hiromi was just dead the entire meeting, Zane was totally out of it, and Emma and Nino were too busy eyefucking to really care that there was a Siren in the room so. Just imagine one person lying face down on the floor and crying, another staring at the wall without blinking, two undressing each other with their eyes, and then Cmdt. Steele standing in the middle like 'how the fuck did I get here'.

So that was everyone's first experience with a Siren.

There are more but ehhhh I'm tired and I mostly wrote this because I wanted to talk about it with someone else but they haven't read the whole thing yet so now I can scream into the void about it and not feel like I'm bothering them.

Hooray!

Plotholes of FF15; the ultimate edition

It’s come to my attention that with the plot being as wonky and contradictory, many (including me) find it hard to decide what’s a plothole and what’s simply a part left vague by the game. I’ve made a list of all the plotholes I could think about so far which is..uh.. quite the long read. I’ve wanted to have it though while waiting for the new DLCs.

1. Ravus is made responsible for the Niflheim army’s huge defeat in Altissia and sentenced to death, however we can see him well and free walking into the Emperor’s throne room in Zegnautus Keep. Since at this time almost the entirety of Niflheim has fallen victim to the starscourge it’s possible he escaped somehow and came to finish the Emperor off, but the game explains nothing.

2. The starscourge seems to be an illness progressing either very fast or very slowly, possibly at a pace chosen by Ardyn himself if he so wills it. Emperor Aldercapt is mentioned to have infected himself with the scourge shortly after Ardyn’s appearance at his court which was 30 years before he transformed, meanwhile Ravus turned into a demon mere minutes, maybe an hour after infection. Again the game explains nothing

3. Ifrit got infected with the starscourge by a mysterious man who is given no name but who can only be Ardyn. If Ardyn apparently can kill and infect gods, why did he not infect any of the others so they would abandon Noctis and fight for his cause instead? We know the Empire has killed many gods including Shiva whose dead body still lies where its fallen on Niflheim grounds.

4. The gods die but they also don’t. Both Shiva and Titan are canonly dead and you can see Shiva’s dead body, however both are also alive spiritually (?) aiding you in battle.

5.  Ardyn is the only creature who didn't die from the starscourge, it just made him a godlike being instead. Why?

6. Bahamut delivered the prophecy to mankind telling of a king of kings to be chosen to save the world, a thing the gods want to happen because they have sworn to protect mankind - still every single one of them except Shiva and the Fulgurian try to kill Noctis. That means despite Bahamut revealing to Regis that his son is the chosen one when he was only a toddler, apparently noone else believes it and everyone doubts his ‘chosen-ness’. Get your shit together, gods.

7. Ardyn was known and worshipped as an extraordinarily selfless man who healed millions of the starscourge, however that led to him infecting himself eventually which caused the events of FF15 and the world being plunged into eternal darkness. Lunafreya has also been given the power to heal the starscourge - by Bahamut, if you believe the cosmogony which states he descended to Eos to handpick a maiden to be the first oracle. Are we to assume Ardyn was a prototype gone wrong who then was cast aside in favour of a new healer type? Or does Luna maybe infect herself slowly? Which leads us to the next point...

8. Lunafreya is sick. A cutscene taking place in Altissia has her weak and pleading to Ravus to take the ring and give it to Noctis, because she fears she will not be able to any longer, because her body is already failing her. We are however never told what this weakness is and it is literally never shown except in this scene. Is it the ‘prize of the covenant’ Ardyn mentions to know well, also in Altissia? Does doing her oracle duty sap her of life (sounds ineffective)? Or is that prize the starscourge? Or is the ring somehow killing her like the ring of Sauron??

9. For Bahamut to give the oracle her powers to heal the scourge, obviously he himself must be able to heal the scourge, however he never does.... was making Ardyn wait for 2000 years until Noctis could sacrifice his sad life for him a sick form of entertainment? Or can he just not heal Ardyn somehow? Whatever it is, Bahamut heals noone ever, not so sworn to protect humankind after all, I guess. See number 7.

10. Ardyn is often referred to as a chosen king, however we are explicitely told he was forbidden to ascend. Many believe this means the crystal never chose him and that seems to be what happened regarding his grudge against the crystal especially. What relativizes this again though is the cosmogony itself: “There once was a man born a mortal but blessed with powers divine. Conjuring a collection of glaives he dispelled the darkness plaguing our star. As a reward for his efforts the gods granted him a holy stone” - The Crystal, which he was to guard at all cost. Cleansing the world of the scourge in his time is a thing Somnus The Mystic is known for. That means the Crystal was given to mankind AFTER Ardyn became ‘the lost son’. Except the cosmogony was rewritten to exclude Ardyn which means the cosmogony is not a reliable source of history and lore at all. Seems like it, because being written out of history (again) is a thing Ardyn is concerned over when he dies. However what seems to be another fact making all of this more confusing is that according to Ardyn Somnus, if he got the crystal or not, himself was not chosen by the time he had Ardyn executed. Possibly he never was. Possibly noone ever was except Noctis who seems to be Ardyn’s successor in all ways possible. In their last fight Ardyn refers to Noctis as the chosen king, but ‘a second rate chosen at best’ seemingly referring to himself who was definitely sheduled to be chosen 2000 years ago. Maybe all of this is intentionally confusing and contradictory, but due to the missing pieces it is literally impossible to figure out the truth so it remains a plothole: was Ardyn meant to be the king of kings? Was he supposed to be ‘just’ the first king? Was Ardyn given the crystal or was Somnus? We will never know until maybe Episode Ardyn hopefully.

11. Ascended Noctis is - apparently - immortal. Ardyn who is pretty much the only character at this point who we can assume to know his shit explains his motives to Noctis as he is being pulled into the crystal the following way: “Killing you as a mortal will bring me scant satisfaction.” Evidently the King of Kings is immortal, at least in a way that he can not die a natural death.

12. If Ardyn was a prototype of the King of Kings who failed maybe the starscourge did not kill him because he was always meant to be immortal? Ardyn really is the gods’ fault, isn’t he? Pure food for thought though. You can fill a book with Ardyn theories due to the massively wonky plot of FF15.

12. Ascended Noctis is maybe not only immortal, but definitely more powerful than the gods. The gods can’t kill Ardyn. They can’t restore light. Bahamut actually explains to Noctis inside the crystal that his ascension will elevate him above the gods. We are never told why Noctis has to die to fulfill the prophecy though and if you accept Episode Ignis as being a valid alternate universe, a what-if path where all mechanics of Eos are still in effect, then very clearly Noctis never really had to die, it is just what Bahamut tells him. Maybe the ‘blood prize’ that needs to be paid is really only the gods’ hubris of not wanting another deity that is stronger than them ruling their little SIMS world of a kingdom. Like the blood prize Nyx pays for using the ring. Bunch a’assholes. See number 9.

13. Now on to Prompto. Dear god, Prompto is a gold mine. Prompto says in Zegnautus Keep that he always knew his barcode was the sign of an MT and that he is really from Niflheim, but it’s not something he could just tell his Lucian friends. So Prompto apparently knew MTs are somehow made from humans, however in his own Episode he seems shocked by the reveal.

14. However did Prompto know anyway if he was rescued as a baby? Did his step parents know and tell him later? Who the fuck are his step parents and why does this not have any role at all in the game?? If his step parents knew, who else fucking knows about MTs? Did Regis know? Deemed a plothole because if Regis did not know then his wall is apparently not as safe as he thinks for Niflheim people to sneak in and raise an MT there and if he DID know then he really oughta have known he was sending an MT with Noct who could betray him at any time which was actually supposed to happen in early scripts.

15. MTs start out as babies, however all of the Prompto clones we see in Episode Prompto are adults, which means they either give them about 20 years to grow into a demon core which is unlikely since they’ve had MTs for a long time and in huge numbers or the clones just grow super fast. Prompto however doesn’t age super fast. Something here is either lazy coding or very, very fucky.

16. What actually is an MT? Clearly MTs are mainly made from metal and not at all a human or demon in a suit though it is still a common misconception in parts of the fandom. They don’t bleed when they die, instead they give off electric sparks and show dozens of broken wires next to miasma. Their bodies are decidedly human looking, they can be programmed which is an integral part of their function lest they become violent and uncontrollable and they also move decidedly robotic. Our best guess at this point is that the demon core is the essence of a demon condensed into a ‘battery’ that is shielded from light by its purely robotic body. According to the files you find on MTs the reason human clones are chosen for the process is that they do not suffer a loss of ego and do not go insane which normal humans did when they used regular citizens. I assume that means the clones do not have a sense of self since they never were self-aware to begin with. They became conscious already being MTs. And then we have Episode Prompto where apparently an MT fears death which clearly indicates an ego. Or maybe that was Prom’s imagination, after all he also fantasized his childhood self…

17. Ardyn seems to know a lot about Solheim technology to be able to give Niflheim the ability to create advanced robotic soldiers or the tech to develop airships… quite a savvy chosen king for a time in which any and all Solheim technology was shunned by the gods as heretical. Either Ardyn never was such a holy messiah or very, very much of that Solheim tech was still present in everyday life in Ardyn’s time… provided the gods were cool with their king meant to lead people back to faith using any of it. Since, you know, the gods hated Solheim. That’s why they made Lucis.

18. The Ring according to the cosmogony is the sign for someone fit to rule, however also according to the cosmogony the ring can be weilded by everyone who’s worthy, not only the king. We see this confirmed in Nyx and Ignis. That strongly indicates not everyone in the long line of the Lucis Caelum was worthy either and in fact there are only a very short number of kings resting inside the ring including Regis who very obviously wore and used it. It seems to me we are led to believe putting on the ring is always a risk even for a Lucis Caelum; they might be burned and killed just like everybody else. That appears to fit the obvious fear in Noctis to put on the ring which he then only does because Ardyn took all his other weapons. The kings inside the ring don’t seem to see things the way the cosmogony does in any way condescending Nyx for being ‘not even a king’ - so what is it really? 

I’ll stop here though I’m sure I could think of more if I tried. The truth is, FF15 could have done with some more proper development time to clear out many of these issues. I’d love to hear more of these if anyone has some more!

I’ve Played . . .

I finally replayed this gorgeous gem on the PS4 Remaster edition and I had forgotten how wonderful this game was.  

SUMMARY:  A fungal infection that turns humans into the “Infected”, zombie like monsters that attack humans on sight and can infect others with a bite have taken over the world.  Most of humanity live in Quarantine Zones operated and maintained by what’s left of the US Military who run what’s left of America by martial law.  Fireflies, a group of rebels that oppose martial law are fighting to restore America to what it was.  All the while, groups of humans have become Hunters, bandits that prey on travels and raid colonies.

In the forefront of this world is Joel, a harden man still grieving his family, and his young charge, Ellie, a plucky young girl who know nothing of the world before.  Together, they will brave the many dangers as they cross a post-apocalyptic America.

WHAT I LOVE:  Everything.  Yes, that’s right, EVERYTHING!  From the animation, the gameplay, the characters, the world, the lore, the enemies, etc.  EVERY FRICKIN’ frame is just gorgeous.  I cannot gush over this game enough to show my love, so I’ll try to summarize it up.

The post-apocalypse never looked so beautiful.  The city streets are fraught with abandoned cars, skeletal bodies with their looted luggage around them, peeling advertisements about upcoming movies that never made it to cinema, and closed and looted stores.  And all of this is covered with grass and weeds as nature slowly takes back its land over the twenty years the cities have been abandoned.  Every building and every house has a story to tell.  One has had been a bachelor pad with music posters on the wall, a dart board, and even a cocktail bar in the back.  Joel and Ellie explored an old office building where you still see family photos and desk and business plans still written in market on white boards.  The world as we knew had just stopped in the middle of people’s lives with a finality that grows heavy as you continue your journey.

The game play is never repetitive nor cumbersome.  Everytime I heard the click of a “clicker’, (another name for a type of infected) my heart stops and I check Joel’s gear for the coming fight.  You can stealth your way around enemies, but sometimes you don’t get that option and must fight your way through via guns, melee weapons, and craftable items such as can bombs, molotov cocktails, smokebomb, shivs, and medikits to restore health.  Guns can be upgraded to carry more ammo, reduce recoil, and fire rate.  

The animation was done with amazing motion capture where you can read the myriad of emotions that cross Joel and Ellie’s face as they both experience, joy, fear, and sadness.  I don’t want to talk too much about the story because I don’t want to give away any spoilers to anyone who has yet to play The Last of Us.  (what are you doing!?  Do yourself a favor and go play this game RIGHT NOW!!!)  You watch Joel and Ellie bond over their journey.  Joel, a tight lipped, no nonsense man who’s done questionable things in the past to survive is softened by Ellie’s innocence that slowly erodes with every close scrape they endure.  

Now I come to the Gem of this game.  Ellie. 

Ellie is a fourteen year old girl born after the world went to hell.  Knowing nothing of what life was before the Infected, she often looks at the ruins and asks Joel about what the world was like.  Ice cream trucks, going to University, and the carefree nature of the world past is strange and amazing for her.  She begins our story has a young teenager wanting to prove herself and we watch her mature throughout her journey with Joel.  She goes from a girl hiding as Joel takes on the baddies and becomes a survivor in her own right, but that comes at a cost.

Ellie’s story is both heartwarming and heartbreaking.  Joel may be the player character, but Ellie is the lead character in this tale.  And I am thrilled to see it continue with her in Part 2 which cannot get her soon enough.

WHAT I HATE:  Isn’t it obvious?  Nothing.  There is nothing about this game I dislike other than it has an ending.  Fortunately, there is the DLC Left Behind which is an Ellie central side story that explores her past and gives me a few hours with The Last of Us.  

I’m sure that if you wanted to nitpick, there might be some flaws somewhere in this game that I’ve missed or went unnoticed, but they are very hard to see under the glow of great story telling, gameplay, and animation.           

Dragon Age Questionnaire

Tagged by the ever-lovely @lakambaeni​! I’m sorry it always takes me forever to get to your tags.

Tagging: @battlefox​, @tyishi​, @aurianavaloria​, and any other DA fans that follow me! But, as always, there’s no obligation to fill the tag :)

01) Favourite game of the series? I think DAI is my favorite in the series, because it was the one that really pulled me into the fandom.

02) How did you discover Dragon Age? As is usual for my entrance to fandom, it started with blogs I follow starting to share content about the game. (This was a little bit before DAI dropped.) It seemed cool, and @likhoradka​ had made a quick Handers comic that amused me, but I didn’t really get into it until @battlefox​ lent me a copy of DA2 so that I could see what all the hype was about.

03) How many times you’ve played the games? I’ve played all three games through to completion once; with DAO, I played most of the DLCs that were concurrent to the base game, but I only played the vanilla games for DA2 and DAI. HOWEVER, I have started several additional playthroughs, to the point where I have a small army of characters.

04) Favourite race to play as? Elves! Though, to be fair, this is a bias I generally have in fantasy settings.

05) Favourite class? Mages, because, again, the bias followed me from the fantasy setting in general.

06) Do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time? I try to play to each character, but I still usually end up making the same decisions (so far).

07) Go-to adventuring group?

DAO: Alistair/Dog, Leliana, Zevran

DA2: Varric, Fenris, Anders

DAI: Since this is the one that I have the most characters in, this is more varied depending on the playthrough, but my PERSONAL favorite combination is Varric, Dorian, and Iron Bull.

08) Which of your characters did you put the most thought into? Definitely Enansal, even though she’s just a glorified self-insert. I just write about her the most.

09) Favourite romance? Probably Cullen, but that’s because I’ve done that one twice.

10) Have you read any of the comics/books? I haven’t got a chance to, yet! I did buy myself a copy of “Asunder,” but I haven’t had time to actually read it.

11) If you read them, which was your favourite book? TBD ;)

12) Favourite DLCs? I mean, I do love “The Stone Prisoner,” because it gives you Shale, and I love them so much.

13) Things that annoy you. Mooostly the fandom. This is why I keep to myself and my little corner amongst the lovely people behind @dadrunkwriting and @asiansofthedas.

14) Orlais or Ferelden? Ferelden, because it’s always given me Celtic vibes and therefore reminds of Ireland :)

15) Templars or mages? Mages.

16) If you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one? I personally have them existing in parallel universes. However, I like the idea that all of the DAO characters end up joining the Wardens at some point or another. I also do have two separate Tabris playthroughs that have become my “Tabris twins” headcanon.

17) What did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

Veleda’s mabari is Rowan. Since my first playthrough with Sylvia was with the vanilla game, she didn’t have her mabari, so I still haven’t thought of a name. Enansal and Cullen name their mabari Buster. Most of my other playthroughs have named mabari, though, but I have way too many to name them all haha I also never named any mounts, probably because I didn’t know that they could be named!

18) Have you installed any mods? I wish I could, but I definitely don’t have the space or know-how to install them.

19) Did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden? Veleda definitely did not. She was actually more than happy to stay in the Circle, because she definitely started out as a huge Loyalist, and was upset that she was basically forced into leaving with Duncan. She was eventually glad for the opportunity to live in the “outside world” though.

20) Hawke’s personality? Sylvia ended up being true blue lol

21) Did you make matching armor for your companions in Inquisition? No. I usually prioritized stats (and sometimes individual colors).

22) If your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

Veleda: She wouldn’t have betrayed Jowan. Being away from the Circle made her realize that she should have put more value in his friendship.

Sylvia: Even if it ultimately spared his life, she always regrets NOT taking Carver to the Deep Roads with her, because she hates the time that they spent apart.

Elera: She never would have left her Clan prior to the events of DAI.

Enansal: She wishes she never had gotten involved with Aaric.

23) Do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon? Not particularly? I’d say my biggest canon-breaking content is my Tabris twins and my Kremquisitor playthrough.

24) Are any of your character(s) based on someone? Aisling Tabris, Sylvia Hawke, and Enansal Lavellan are all self-inserts, technically >_> Nan is the one that is most like me, though. Ash is my go-to persona when I make new characters, and Sylvia is really only a self-insert in the sense that all of her dialogue choices were based on what *I* would do in that situation.

25) Who did you leave in the Fade? Stroud, because holy frick, I could not break Varric’s heart like that.

26) Favourite mount? N/A