red white & royal blue characters as jeremy jordan performances on youtube (karaoke AU?)

Alex Claremont-Diaz: 

“It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” 54 Below (Jan. 2015)

This is the reason I made this post in the first place. Honestly this is my favorite YouTube video and it’s an emotional rollercoaster and you just know Alex would have this energy, would enjoy teasing his audience, would play into every single piece of tension possible, would live for the attention. The drama!!!! Henry's sweating. Alex can tell. Nora, Bea and Pez are singing backup, and Alex does the flirty eye contact thing at the end with Nora, Bea, and lastly Henry, who blushes up to his ears and barely controls himself from surging forward and kissing Alex.

Henry George Edward James Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor: 

“Total Eclipse of the Heart” 54 Below (May 2015)

Nora and Bea sing backup (turn around bright eyes) and Henry loses himself in the performance bit by bit. He feels it he is emoting he is letting go. And the audience lives for it, just like Don’t Stop Me Now. Alex is transfixed, captivated. The occasional drunk stumble... doesn’t change that, it’s even more endearing. And because Jeremy Jordan isn’t a homophobic coward like Michael Bublé, he kept the extended version lyrics of:

Every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you Every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing that I just wouldn't do

And Henry... Henry means every word.

I really need you tonight Forever’s gonna start tonight

Percy “Pez” Okonjo:

“Don’t Speak” 54 Below (May 2018)

The drama. The amount of playing with the audience that happens in this video holy shit. Pez lives for it. He keeps glancing at June at his most dramatic moments, when the audience goes silent at the edge of their seats waiting for him to continue. At around 2:30, the, “who are we?” is absolutely to Henry, who is maybe air-playing piano. Nora is up and dancing... for some reason I feel like she’s doing body rolls at him as they wink at each other and look at June. At 4:30, “Stop fucking playing,” and then falsetto.... this song is Pez 100%.

June Claremont-Diaz:

“She Used To Be Mine” MCC Theater MisCast Gala (March 2018)

June knows how to have fun, but I also feel like she’d be one to go for a karaoke song with emotional depth like this, for a little catharsis, a safe way to let out a bit of the pent up feelings of frustration, anger, resentment, regret, wishfulness, she has about her situation, about what her family’s position means for her life and her career and her relationships, about what she used to dream for and how she has to adapt it now. She gets to let a little of it out, and have it be seen, and almost recognized, almost understood. This is another one where she’s just singing at first but by the end, she’s there. She’s in it. Bea is screaming louder than anyone else, because she feels it too. Nora kisses her cheek after. (also I feel like June’s a Waitress fan anyway, so she knows the song well)

Alex, Nora, and Pez (or alternatively, Pez Bea and June):

“Under Pressure” with Andy Mientus and Krysta Rodriguez 54 Below (March 2015)

The vibes are just immaculate. The cues Andy keeps missing and how Krysta and Jeremy are giving their all while he’s just having a great time. It’s either Alex = Andy, Nora = Krysta, Pez = Jeremy, OR June = Andy, Bea = Krysta, and Pez = Jeremy. With maybe an added falsetto from Pez.

Beatrice “Bea” Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor:

“High and Dry” 54 Below (March 2015)

Unfortunately, I didn’t really find a performance that felt right for Bea. I think she could have done Total Eclipse, possibly? But that felt like a good one for Henry, especially considering Don’t Stop Me Now. Anyway. Maybe she’d sing this? She, like June, could use a good old cathartic sing of a darker song.

Tumblr won’t let me embed more than five videos, but click the link!

Nora Holleran:

“Semi-Charmed Life” Elsie Fest (Oct. 2017)

As I said for Bea, I couldn’t find a perfect song for Nora where it felt like the way she would perform it, and also a song she would actually pick. But it’s like, halfway there on both! I can see her choosing this, and see her performing it in a similar way to him - with confidence, and not doing as much face acting as other More Dramatic Performances I’ve included so far. She just rocks it!!!

Tumblr won’t let me embed more than five videos, but click the link!

Bonus:

Liam, having his gay awakening four(?) years before Alex:

“I’ve Told You Now” 54 Below (April 2015)

Henry and Alex’s wedding song:

“At Last” Elsie Fest (Oct. 2017) 

Julien was not the greatest when it came to time management. He tried to stay on top of his responsibilities as best he could, but he knew himself. He knew he had to pick and choose his activities carefully in order to do any of them well. That was why typically, he stuck to high school musical theater which only had productions in the fall and spring. Winter was his open season and he chose to fill with hockey and show choir...typically. 

The decision to audition for Into The Woods had been made in haste by one Julien Schuester. As he approached the theater that the Lima Players operated out of in time for his audition slot, there was a nagging feeling in his belly that he would come to regret this. Nonsense, he thought to himself. He was seventeen now. Sure, maybe when he was a freshman and even when he was a sophomore, he struggled to maintain a good balance. But now? He was an upperclassman. He had a grip on his schedule. He was doing a pretty good job managing glee club, school and having a girlfriend. He’d been able to handle himself during Grease too. He knew that adding hockey and a community theater production to his schedule would cause a bit of a strain, but he could do it...right?

Right!

Auditioning for a Lima Players production was admittedly a tad more intimidating than auditioning for a WMHS production. Even though Julien wholeheartedly believed that he earned his past leading roles because of his hard work and talent rather than who his dad or brother was, there was still something scary about knowing he wouldn’t be auditioning in front of his brother. What if his success so far was just because of nepotism? What if he wasn’t as good as he thought he was? 

Julien ditched his self-doubt at the door and walked into the building with a smile and his shoulders squared. He was a master at faking it until he made it and he would not let his onslaught of nerves get in the way of his performance. He chose to be positive about this whole situation. It was like Ivy said—he hadn’t done a Lima Players production since middle school, so he was like fresh meat to them. He was prepared. He’d spent a lot of time rehearsing at home and in the choir room, getting pointers from Dan and his dad, and he’d even practiced his monologue and song in front of Finn and Wren a couple of times. He was confident that he was going to make a good impression. 

Julien was sitting in the lobby, resume and headshot in hand, when a casting director emerged from the auditorium doors and called his name. He stood up with a friendly smile, handed the woman his paperwork, and made his way to the stage. Into The Woods was a fun show with lots of parts—all of them good. Julien had spent a lot of time mulling over which role to go for. The Baker was obviously the best role. It was the true lead in his eyes. And then, of course, there was Cinderella’s prince and Rapunzel’s, too. “Hi! I’m Julien Schuester,” he greeted with a wide smile once he found his light center stage, “and today, I’ll be performing an arragement of ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ from The Wizard of Oz and ‘Home’ from The Wiz.” A breath. “I’ll also be performing a monologue from the film Silver Lining’s Playbook.” 

As much as Julien secretly wanted to be a Prince and as fun as it would be to be Cinderella’s prince if Ivy got Cinderella...he knew in his heart of hearts that he wasn’t the obvious choice. Not when there were chiseled and annoyingly charming guys like Davis Goolsby who unfairly looked like an adonis. So ultimately, he decided to go for the Baker, as written on his audition sheet. He was open to any role, of course, but that was what he felt best suited for and no one had told him differently. Once he’d finished his introduction, Julien took a small step back and gave his accompanist a nod to start playing the song. He closed his eyes and took a grounding breath as the piano swelled. 

When all the world is a hopeless jumble And the raindrops tumble all around Heaven opens a magic lane

Julien sang with an earnestness from the very first note. ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’ was a song he held very close to his heart ever since childhood—one his dad sang to him and his siblings often. The decision to combine it with ‘Home’ was simply to showcase his range, both emotionally and vocally, and because he liked the way the songs spoke to each other. Into The Woods was a literal journey from start to finish, so he wanted his audition piece to reflect a similar energy. 

When I think of home I think of a place where there's love overflowing I wish I was home I wish I was back there with the things I been knowing

As the song reached its crescendo, Julien squeezed his eyes shut and sang out the words with all his might. He knew this piece like the back of his hand at this point, so he allowed himself a little freedom to get lost in it and riff away. Julien tried to channel the Baker’s determination into his performance. He was a misguided character who was a bit simple, sure, but he was loving and loyal too, which Julien found he could easily relate to. At the end of the day, he was the hero of the story. Julien believed he had what it took to portray that. After the song hit its peak, Julien’s demeanor softened as he gazed out at the directing panel with wonder in his eyes. Julien had a youthful energy that came through clearly when he slowed things down for the final verse. When he belted out the final line of the song, he did so with every ounce of fearlessness that he could muster.

Why, oh why can't I?

Julien made it look effortless to hold his last note but was admittedly a bit breathless when he finished his song. He gave the pianist a grateful nod for following along and not screwing him up and after giving himself a moment to regroup, launched into his monologue. His choices were a bit erratic, but Julien found the parallels between the monologue and the plot of Into The Woods to be kind of funny. He hoped that subconsciously it would aid in the director seeing him in that role. As Julien performed, he really tried to capture Pat’s energy—a broken man going through marriage troubles and desperately trying to fix it. The drawback to Julien choosing a monologue like this was that he had a boyish charm at his age that was hard to escape. Would the audience really believe him as a man?

When he wrapped up his monologue, Julien found his light again and clasped his hands in front of his chest as he bowed his head with a satisfied smile. He’d given it his all and that was all he could really do, wasn’t it? “Thank you,” he said, nodding gratefully to the folks on the panel before exiting stage left with his pride in tact and his head held high. 

WARNING: SUPER BIG POST! This is a complete list of my ranking of the season 1 and season 2 soundtrack.

Alright, first, I truly like/ love all the songs in the soundtrack, so low-ranked songs are never “bad.” Second, I’m not counting the 3 scores we got with the season 2 soundtrack. Third, I know that once season 3 has released its songs, this list will become kinda irrelevant, but hey, I’m impatient. Lastly, this is all biased so if some songs seem like they should be lower or higher than others, then that’s fine. I don’t claim to be a genius musician. I just prefer some songs over others.

(P.S. this was written in a day so misspellings are likely) 

21.) Hook Foot’s Ballad

I don’t think I need to explain why this is the lowest. XD I really don’t mind this song, but it’s so short and just makes me wonder why this was considered a song, but the Reverse Incantation wasn’t! Just . . . meh.

20.) Wind in My Hair (Reprise)

We’ve all heard this one a BUNCH of times, and it’s pretty okay on its own. I just don’t consider this as high on the list just because we’ve heard it a lot and it’s just “Wind in my Hair” but shorter.

19.) More of Me

Another song we hear over and over again, but I’m a sucker for upbeat Disney pop music, and the full song is pretty fun to listen to. Nothing special, but enjoyable.

18.) Next Stop Anywhere (Reprise)

I like this one, but the 30 seconds of just talking at the beginning is a little grating. Again, just “Next Stop” but shorter. Still, Mandy and Zac always sound amazing together.

17.) Let Me Make You Proud (Reprise)

As you see, I put all the reprises last since they aren’t the most . . . interesting, but this is definitely the best of them since this is the MOMENT Varian vows revenge and makes his arc. It’s very powerful and the singing is great, but again, reprise.

16.) Listen Up

A fun song that’s just right for Halloween. I particularly love how it has the same sound as “I’ve Got a Dream,” but in a minor key, making it spoopy! It’s just lower on the list since it doesn’t really add much to the plot. Just a good song.

15.) Life After Happily Ever After

One of the few songs that sound exactly like it came straight from the movie. I like how it fills us in on the plot and with a great melody. Just . . . lots of talking that wasn’t edited out. And not that it’s not good, but I don’t find myself listening to it as often. Still, this was great as the first song of the show and it’s great now.

14.) If I Could Take That Moment Back

Yeah, I’m a New Dream sucker, and this song made me choke up a bit on my first listen. ASIDE FROM THAT, it doesn’t sound too different from most sad love songs. I didn’t want to put it too high because it’s not particularly unique. Not saying it’s BAD at all! The melody is beautiful (especially on the piano), the lyrics are heartbreaking and match up with the situation pretty well, and of course, Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi duet #2. That’s a win in my book. 

13.) Livin’ the Dream

Admittedly, I was REALLY surprised when we got a musical number in this episode, and the song did seem really random. Still, this is just a really funny and upbeat music number! It sounds similar to “I’ve Got A Dream,” but with a twist, it’s pretty catchy, the singer does a great job as a replacement for Brad Garrett. I know for most, this wouldn’t usually be this high, but hey, different tastes.

12.) Friendship Song

I will admit, I like this song A LOT more than most people do. Then again, sucker for upbeat-Disney-pop music right here. I love how the instruments are so clear and beautiful, the melody and fast tempo are really fun to listen to, the lyrics can apply to anyone with a bff, and it always puts me in a good mood!

11.) Set Yourself Free

This is a weird one. It is nice to listen to and sung well, but I think my main liking for this song is that I feel a little bit of an emotional connection with it. When I hear this song, I think of the beginning of January and waiting anxiously for the finale of Season 1. I remember seeing a sneak peek of this song briefly, then seeing the episode as all the past moments of season 1 flash through the screen. Idk, it’s not really my favorite, but the feeling I get from listening to this brings back a lot of memories to me. I wouldn't put it lower since it does sound nice and I feel sentimental when listening to it, but it’s not higher since, honestly, it really is just Wind In My Hair, but instead of Rapunzel wishing for something, she’s doing something. Overall, good song.

10.) Everything I Ever Thought I Knew

It’s . . . complicated. The song is so beautiful, I love the opening lyrics and Zachary Levi. Just. . . .  just Zachary Levi. However, I’ll admit that I’m not a fan of the whole “Dark Prince Eugene” thing. I never wanted it to be true, and I was low-key disappointed when it was revealed to be true. (Not devaluing the DPE theorists. Just not a personal fan of it being canon.) Still, I think the song does express Eugene’s feelings pretty well and it is kinda amusing when you realize he’s just having an identity crisis. All in all, we’ve waited a long time for a Eugene solo, and though I wasn’t thrilled about the context, still a fantastic song, and I’ll listen to it many times over.

9.) Wind in My Hair

The first full song I listened to from the show, sung beautifully, gives the show a great starting point, feels like a classic Disney princess song, and I simply love it. Next.

8.) Next Stop Anywhere

Great intro song to Season 2! It’s catchy, has amazing singing from the 3, and just a wonderful song. Yea, more unnecessary talking here and there that should’ve been cut out, but I love this song too much. Just like Wind in My Hair, I don’t have a logical reason why I love the song as much as I do. I just do!

7.) I’ve Got This

I love the opening notes to this song and it drags you right into it! It’s really fun to sing along to and pretend to be the angry citizens. Mostly, I love how the song progressively goes from upbeat and positive, then to worry, then to panic, then eventually to sadness. It’s catchy and upbeat, yet depressing and slow, and I love it. (Also, kittens)

6.) Buddy Song

Okay, first, can I just say how much I love the context of this song. While the majority of the other songs have an important meaning behind them or are there for some logical reason, the literal purpose of this song is just because Eugene and Lance are drugged up on flowers and that’s it. Usually, I’d be critical to scenes that are pointless or don’t push the story, but here, I have NO problem with it. It’s so fun and enjoyable in how carefree it is. Not only that, but add Zach and James singing like they are having the time of their lives (and not about to die) all to a jazzy beat and you have a musical masterpiece. I was waiting for this kind of song, and I was not disappointed in the slightest!

5.) Ready As I’ll Ever Be

The first two notes of this song should win an award alone. I love the intensity of this song and how epic it all feels. It stands as an amazing group number, as well as its own song separate from the context. Everyone gets to shine in this song, and it all has a very grand feel to it. Also, it really is the only song of its kind in the whole soundtrack. It’s “the epic theme song before going into battle” song. It’s amazing and really deserves the praise it gets (and then some.)

4.) View From Up Here

Admittedly not the most “dramatic” song. However, there is just so much about this song I love. First, I never expected Mandy Moore and Eden Espinosa to sound so good together! Imho, their harmony is one of the best in the show. Their voices blend so amazingly together and though they are different kinds of singers, they sound so in sync and the difference in their voices add so much! Also, even though this is like “whimsical exploring song # 12943,” it has this energy and charm to it that I can’t describe. The way it’s sung + the instruments make it sound so carefree, weightless, and whimsical. I feel I have no care in the world listening to it. Also, it’s upbeat and catchy (as always) Love it, love it, love it! (Also, the entire song is actually extended from what they sing in the episode, so that’s even better!)

3.) Waiting in the Wings

3 words: Eden Freakin’ Espinosa. Her voice was absolutely perfect for this song. Cassandra singing about her dreams and feelings towards being looked-over are expressed so well in the lyrics, the music, and in the emotion and power in Eden’s voice. It’s not only just an amazing song on its own, but it also gives insight into the character and makes us understand her struggles. I love the how gradually it builds up emotion just like in a classic Broadway song and the final note. Holy crap, THAT HIGH NOTE THO. I adore this song, and it definitely deserves to be in my top 3.

2.) With You By My Side

I’ve been singing this all the time since the end of season 2, and it has never gotten old. The highs and lows each singer reaches in each part sound great, the melody is catchy and hopeful, yet a little solemn and sad. It sounds great and has so much emotion put into each note. The instrumentals are enough to get me to listen to this song! Also, the song itself is a milestone in the character’s relationship that went from acquaintances/ enemies to the best of friends who can’t do anything without the other. It’s a song that means friendship, trials, hope, and the end of a journey. (Or at least that’s what they thought >:))

1.) Let Me Make You Proud 

No, I’m not a hardcore Varian fan or Jeremy Jordan fan. Not really even a Broadway fan. What I’m saying is that this song, to me, is perfect. The performance, the music, the context, the instruments, and even the nostalgic feeling I get when listening to this. It’s flawless. Jeremy Jordan is amazing at expressing emotion not through just his voice, but his singing as well. Him playing an emotionally vulnerable 14-year-old who is anxiously traveling through a snowstorm all to save his dad who he isn’t sure will even survive the mistake he made, but his motivation is what’s getting him through, adds so much emotion, personality, and power to this character and song. Also, my memories of watching the D23 panel (on youtube. I wasn’t there) when this was being played over a montage of clips we have and haven’t seen before, exciting us for what was to come, was one of the greatest experiences ever. What else can I say? Just . . . perfection.

Super long post, but I’m happy with my selection and I can’t wait for Season 3!

Movies 2019

List of films I watched in 2019 from best to worst.

Updated soon after I’ve seen them.

A Ghost Story [David Lowery, 2017, United States] No film has made me feel this melancholic ever. This is a film so profound, it examines existence in the simplest yet most esoteric way possible. It surely goes straight to the top of my all-time favourite list. 10/10

Portrait of a Lady on Fire [Celine Sciamma, 2019, France] a film of magnificent visuals, intoxicating sound design, and a screenplay of jawdropping surprises -- definitely on top of my 2019 movie list. 10/10

The Heiresses [Marcelo Martinessi, 2019, Paraguay] compellingly melancholic in its silence and uncertainty. It's a blossoming, a self-discovery, a thorny journey towards maturity. 10/10

Parasite [Bong Joon-ho, 2019, South Korea] You can watch it in many different ways, perspective, and angle, and everything is just as clever. 10/10

Kanarie [Christiaan Olwagen, 2018, South Africa] Has one of the most poignant and critically-observed approach to self-awareness and acceptance. 10/10

Shéhérazade [Jean-Bernard Marlin, 2018, France] a gritty narrative of an unusual young love with such depressing yet charming emotional pull. 10/10

Capernaum [Nadine Labaki, 2018, Lebanon] it’s not just about a boy in an unjust world, it is more about an implausibly unjust world where everyone is a victim and no one is an actual villain. 10/10

John Denver Trending [Arden Rod Condez, 2019, Philippines] Aside from its central theme of mental health awareness, it also has an excellent juxtaposition of the culture of bullying and cyberbullying and its correlation with how the nature of superstitions and religions shapes a country’s humanity. 10/10

The Third Wife [Ash Mayfair, 2019, Vietnam] possibly has one of the best visual stories this year with a contrast of hauntingly sensual tension and dreamlike composition, it’s strangely beautiful. 10/10

Atlantique [Mati Diop, 2019, Senegal] Such a bewitching tale of love, lost, and longing. A film told with such raw elegance, it’s enchanting. 10/10

Metamorphosis [JE Tiglao, 2019, Philippines] Not your ordinary coming-of-age movie. This one comes with such importance and inclusivity, everyone needs to see. 10/10

The Favourite [Yorgos Lanthimos, 2019, Greece, Ireland, United Kingdom, United States] a dark period comedy oddly fused with sophisticated costume and production design for a strange yet striking visual treat. 10/10

Edward [Thop Nazareno, 2019, Philippines] I am so amazed at how this film shows struggles after struggles after struggles without spoonfeeding emotions. It’s a movie so simple yet so despairing. Everything of it is in the right place, it’s sublime. 10/10

I Lost My Body [Jeremy Clapin, 2019, France] gives an absolute strange reason to cry, it's extraordinarily cathartic. 10/10

Marriage Story [Noah Baumbach, 2019, United States] My favourite performance of the year belong to these two leads whose portrayal of lovers going through divorce is rock solid heartbreaking. 10/10

Ulan [Irene Villamor, 2019, Philippines] Is a fuck you to societal norms, so profound, it is a love story that involves only one. 10/10

Avengers: Endgame [Russo brothers, 2019, United States] Raises the bar so high, is probably the most entertaining superhero movie to date. 10/10

The Wife [Bjorn Runge, 2018, Belgium] Glenn Close is mesmerizing. There is no need to say more. 10/10

Heneral Luna [Jerrold Tarog, 2015, Philippines] Jerrold Tarog is as brave as General Luna. He clearly is the Luna of film making. 9.5/10

Infinity War

Incendies [Dennis Villanueve, 2011, Canada] With such expert direction, it's elementally strong in more aspect than one. 9.5/10

Us [Jordan Peele, 2019, United States] It is as if every element in this film is smartly placed there to serve a deeper purpose, it's a movie in search of greater meaning. 9.5/10

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

BuyBust [Erik Matti, 2018, Philippines] a spectacular display of astounding filmmaking where every element is designed and choreographed fittingly well. Entertaining yet harrowing from start to finish, it’s the kind of film that stays. It gets better on second watch. 9.5/10

The White Helmets [Orlando Von Eisiedel, 2016, United Kingdom, Syria] A heartrending glimpse at the life of true heroes in violence-stricken Syria. 9/10

PK [Rajkumar Hirani, 2014, India] a courageous film that wittingly pokes fun of religious beliefs. 9/10

Mamu and a Mother Too [Rod Singh, 2018, Philippines] Why it scared me, I don’t know. It could be because it’s unpredictable, it’s non-cliche, and it’s gentle in ways you don’t expect. I love it. 9/10

Liway [Kip Oebanda, 2018, Philippines] Is at most powerful when it exposes the correlation of facts and fiction. Doesn’t hit you right away but when it does, it hits hard. It hits still. 9/10

Paris is Burning [Jennie Livingston, 1991, United States] is a little documentary that stays. 9/10

Paglisan [Carl Papa, 2018, Philippines] Heartbreaking. It is a test of sympathy. 9/10

Widows [Steve McQueen, 2018, United States] How can something so traditionally formal feel so modern at the same time? Steve McQueen knows. 9/10

Eerie [Mikhail Red, 2018, Philippines] More than its excellent scare tactics, what I love about it most is its clever storytelling and use of metaphors. 9/10

La Luciernaga (The Firefly) [Ana Maria Hermida, 2015, Colombia] is about finding love in grief, beauty in ugly. And though there are some directorial decisions I don’t necessarily agree with, the chemistry its leads bring onscreen is too tangible for me to care about its flaws. 9/10

First Reformed [Paul Schrader, 2019, United States] an astounding character study that questions the politics of religion. 9/10

Bad Bananas sa Puting Tabing

Fuccbois [Eduardo Roy Jr, 2019, Philippines] Amazing storytelling and editing of a narrative so strange yet so eclectic. 8.5/10

Margarita with a Straw [Nilesh Maniyar, Shonali Bose, India, 2016] An unusual take on sexual exploration and self discovery. It somehow lost its focus towards the end but still a delightful watch overall. 8.5/10

Berlin Calling [Hannes Stohr, 2008, Germany] a movie that lives in the present paced in such rhythmic beat, it is dazzling from start to end. 8.5/10

Kuwaresma [Erik Matti, 2019, Philippines] Is a multilayer of social commentaries which were good before they too contradict themselves. 8.5/10

Brother of the Year [Witthaya Thongyooyong, 2018, Thailand] For all its simplicity and bleak storyline, it still offers an abundance of emotion and a sense of realism. 8/10

Ek Ladki Ko Dekha To Aisa Laga [Shelly Dhar, 2019, India] Not a first in world cinema, but is still a groundbreaking moviemaking in the context of India. 8/10

If Beale Street Could Talk [Barry Jenkins, 2019, United States] The kind that even though you are hopeful, you know from the start that it's going to be tough. 8/10

Sovdargari (The Trader) [Tamta Gabrichidze, 2018, Georgia] Emotionally intense depiction of rural poverty. 7.5/10

The Two Popes [Fernando Mereilles, 2019, UK, US, Italy, Argentina] Features two outstanding performances that redeemed it from all its dragging moments. 7.5/10

Black Panther [Ryan Coogler, 2018, United States] Oozing with unusual but likable characters. 7.5/10

A Land Imagined [Chris Yeo, 2018, Singapore, France, Netherlands] An unsettling noir mystery that questions people's notion of truth. 

My Days of Mercy [Tali Shalom Ezer, 2019, United States] There is a bewitching chemistry between the two leads despite the coldness of it all. 7.5/10

Contratiempo (The Invisible Guest) [Oriol Paulo, 2017, Spain] offers an outstanding and enjoyable thrilling ride. 7.5/10

Giant Little Ones [Keith Berhman, 2019, United States] An honest road to knowing your own self in the eyes of a boy transitioning to adolescence. 7.5/10

Never Not Love You [Antoinette Jadaone, 2018, Philippines] Beautifully and realistically written. It’s just really hard for me to like Reid’s character. 7.5/10 

Kaptn Oskar [Tom Lass, 2013, Germany] Only basic virtue - it is a beautiful film. Not only for its comfort. But for the old poetry of dust emotions. 7.5/10

Furie [Le Van Kiet, 2019, Vietnam] With great performance and thrilling choreography, Furie is one of the best action films of 2019. 7.5/10

The Awakening of Motti Wolkenbrunch [Michael Steiner, 2019, Switzerland, Germany] A funny glimpse at a life of an Orthodox Jewish man with a chemistry that gives you a hopeful ending. 7.5/10

Gerald's Game [Mike Flanagan, 2017, United States] Meticulously-directed, it is an outstanding adaptation of Stephen King's novel. 7.5/10

UnTrue [Sigrid Andrea Bernardo, 2019, Philippines] to put it simply, UnTrue is a thrilling rollercoaster ride. 7/10

Pailalim [Daniel Palacio, 2017, Philippines] 

Dear Ex [Chih-Yen Hsu, 2018, Taiwan] Features odd but genuine kind of love. It is funny, heartfelt, and charming all at the same time. 7/10

First They Killed my Father [Angelina Jolie, 2017, United States, Cambodia] sincerely and sensitively paints a portrait of a country's tragic history. 7/10

4 Latas [Gerardo Olivares, 2019, Spain] For all its nonsense, I enjoyed it. 7/10

Green Book [Peter Farrelly, 2018, United States] Flawed yet entertaining -- not sure if it's good or bad though. 6.5/10

Pihu [Kapri Vinod, 2018, India] Heartbreaking torture. Although I feel like it could have ended better. 6.5/10

Lionheart [Genevieve Nnaji, 2018, Nigeria] Although everything here felt familiar, there's charm that makes this film an enjoyable one. 6.5/10

Unbreakable

Triple Frontier [JC Chandor, 2019, United States] I have a problem with its exploitation of violence. I have a bigger problem for liking it. 6.5/10

28 Weeks Later

Iska [Theodore Boborol, 2019, Philippines] I find a lot of things problematic and some choices uncharacteristic but it is worth a watch. 7/10

Searching

Period. End of Sentence

Battle

Oversized Cops

Floating [Julia Kaiser, 2015, Germany] 

The Bar

Ang Babae sa Septic Tank 3

Mga Mister ni Rosario [Alpha Habon, 2018, Philippines]

Misteryo dela Noche

Of Love and Other Demons

Tanabata’s Wife

26 Years [Geun Hyeon-Jo, 2012, South Korea] Yet another thrilling revenge story from the country who does it best. 7/10

Mga Batang Poz

Aurora

Becks

Mowgli: Legends of the Jungle

Cargo

Neomanila

47 Metres Down

The Feels

Dead Kids [Mikhail Red, 2019, Philippines] Is probably my least favourite Mikhail Red movie. Overrated in every sense. 7/10

Fyre: The Greatest Party that Never Happened

Svaha: The Sixth Finger

Flavors of Youth

Miss Granny

Unicorn Store

Captain Marvel

Polar

Black Mirror: Bandersnatch [David Slade, 2018, Untied States] Liking a film is always about the experience and while Bandersnatch offers another take on the medium, it is somewhat a less impactful experience as expected. 7/10 

Open [Andoy Ranay, 2019, Philippines]

Psychokinesis [Yeon Sang-ho, 2018, South Korea] Nothing much to offer but a good Sunday watch with the family. 6.5/10

Elise [John Ferrer, 2019, Philippines] I’m sorry, I don’t understand the hype. 6/10 fpihu

Novitiate 

A Tiger in Winter

Suddenly 20

Eli [Ciaran Foy, 2019, United States] 

Remastered: Devil at the Crossroads’

Alipato: Ka Luis Taruc Story

The Tenants Downstairs

Hotel Mumbai

Muerte en Buenos Aires

How to Get Over a Break Up

Buried

Never Tear Us Apart

A Simple Favor

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral

Rainbow’s Sunset

Malamaya

Boy Erased

Still Human

Coach Carter

The Perfect Date

In the Tall Grass [Vincenzo Natali, 2019, United States] Fun at first until it gets dragging. Really dragging. 5/10

Bohemian Rhapsody

Metro Manila [Sean Ellis, 2014, United Kingdom] I know it's not right to say I've seen better, but yes, I've seen better. 6.5/10

Mr and Mrs Cruz

Pet Semetary

When Angels Sleep

Belle Douleur

Children of the River

Maria

The First Purge

Liberated: New Sexual Revolution

Toc Toc

Four Minutes

Mama

7 [Nizar Shafi, 2019, India] 

Vine Country

Isn't it Romantic?

The Nun

Pandanggo sa Hukay

The Silence

KL Zombi [MJ Woo, 2013, Malaysia] A "horror" for a good laugh.

An1 (The Harvest)

Girls With Balls [Olivier Afonso, 2019, France] I don't have the balls to sit through this movie. 2/10

The Roommate [Christian Christeansen, 2011, United States] BLAH 1/10

Tabon [Xian Lim, 2019, Philippines] is one of the worst movies of the year. Nuf said. 0/10

Elsie Fest 2017: My Ramblings

I want to begin by stating that I had a great time at Elsie Fest this year. I wanted to say that upfront because there are a few aspects of last night's show I plan to criticize, and I don't want anyone to come away from reading my reflection thinking I didn't enjoy myself. Just because something wasn't perfect, doesn't mean it wasn't fun.

I went to the very first Elsie Fest back in 2015. The performances that day, one after the other, were epic in the truest sense of the word. I don't think I'll ever recover from watching Lea Salonga sing I'll Give My Life for You, or Leslie Odom Jr. and Aaron Tveit duet on What You Own, or Laure Osnes debut Love Will Come and Find Me Again from Bandstand, or Team Starkid coming together with Darren to sing Going Back to Hogwarts. What a night! However, in spite of all of that awesome, the venue was terrible. It was basically a slab of concrete floating in the Hudson River. And general admission ticket holders were just penned in behind a metal fence facing the barely raised stage. I was lucky enough to get a spot along that fence which meant I had a great view of the stage. But that also meant that I had to spend the next 9 and a half hours pressed against that fence in order to keep my great view. That experience was, in a word, unpleasant. Now, I'm not saying it wasn't worth it, but I am saying I wasn't in a hurry to go through it again.

So when 2016 rolled around, I was excited about Elsie Fest but crossing fingers and toes that the organizers would choose a better venue. When it was announced that they'd chosen Coney Island, my reaction was mixed. On the one hand, I was glad to hear that there'd be some shade and potentially places to sit down. But on the other hand, I knew it'd be next to impossible to get all the way out to Coney Island right smack in the middle of Labor Day weekend. And then when I saw the lackluster list of performers they'd gotten (when compared with that first year's bill) I decided to give Elsie Fest 2016 a pass.

That brings me to this year. When I heard that Elsie Fest would be in Central Park over Columbus Day weekend, I was thrilled. Both the location and the timing sounded perfect to me. When the list of performers was first announced, I was less than thrilled. To go from living Broadway legends like Aaron Tveit, Lea Salonga, Laura Osnes, and Leslie Odom Jr. to Lea Michele (whose voice I do like, don't get me wrong) and Alan Cumming (again, not an untalented fellow, but he doesn't exactly have a powerhouse voice), to me seemed like a major step down. I also wasn't too thrilled with a few of the other changes that had been made. The price of general admission tickets had risen substantially (from $40 to $60) and the length of the show had been more than cut in half (from 8.5 hours to 3.5 hours). Despite my reservations, I decided to give Elsie Fest 2017 a chance.

I ended up arriving in Central Park just after 4PM Sunday afternoon. I joined the already growing line of concertgoers (the venue was set to open at 5PM) and spent the next hour chatting with other excited fans. My line experience was definitely a positive one. I saw t-shirts and buttons from just about every fandom under the sun being worn proudly by fans of all ages. Though I was baffled by the sight of one man's shirt. It contained 3 large ears of corn with cats splayed out on top of each one, all set against an outer-space backdrop. As that man walked by my spot in line, I remember thinking, “Is Corn Cats in Space a thing? I've heard of Supernatural, Riverdale, Doctor Who, and Rick and Morty, but not whatever that guy was sporting. Am I that out of touch?” Anyhow, while the line was fun, things only got better once we were let inside the venue. I'd just found the perfect spot to set up my blanket (center back of the first section) when I got swept up into a Broadway singalong led by two Marie's Crisis employees. That first hour passed quickly as a growing audience of theater fanatics sang along to hits from Hairspray, Grease, Rent, Wicked, Hamilton, and Les Mis. The singalong was so fun, in fact, that I almost didn't want the show to start. The guys chose to end it with One Day More from Les Mis (a wise choice). They got things started and were then joined on stage by Keala Settle and Norm Lewis who helped lead a few parts. What a way to wrap up a showtunes singalong!

So, still riding high from amazing moment, the crowd was more than ready for Jeremy Jordan's set to kick things off. And he did not disappoint. He began with Broadway, Here I Come from Smash. Now, I never got into Smash (don't come for me, Smash fans) but this first song was catchy, and he sang it incredibly well so I was on board. That led into a performance of Shiksa Goddess from The Last Five Years that had the crowd going nuts. Talk about charisma; Jeremy Jordan is one charismatic guy! He followed that up with his go-to shower song, At Last by Etta James, and his high school band's go-to cover song, Semi Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind. To close out his set, he did a Disney medley to end all Disney medleys. I recognized songs from Aladdin, Little Mermaid, Hunchback, Hercules, and Newsies, and I'm sure there were more in there. In short, Jeremy performed the perfect set for a show like Elsie Fest. I'd bet anything he'd watched Aaron Tveit's set from 2015 and had taken notes. He made sure to pick songs that the audience both knew and loved, catering heavily to millennials as they were the clear majority in that crowd, and he introduced each number with a delightful story. He had that audience eating out of the palm of his hand, and he left us all wanting more. I wish the other performers that night had followed his example.

Lea Michele's set was good, but it lacked the energy Jeremy's. She performed a few of her Glee hits (Don't Rain on My Parade, Maybe This Time, My Man, and Make You Feel My Love), did one of her original songs, Run to You, and did Falling Slowly with Darren. I can't fault any of the numbers themselves because she sang them all well enough. I think, though, her set really needed two things to take it from good to great. First, her stage presence needed work. She really struggled to connect with the audience. I think a funny story or two between numbers would have helped. Second, I think she needed to do an upbeat or modern Broadway song that hadn’t been on Glee. I'd have loved to see her do a Hamilton number or something from Spring Awakening. Heck, I'd have settled for Sonya Alone from Great Comet (since Ingrid didn't do it). I think telling a story about a show she's seen recently and loved and then singing a song from that show would have been a great addition to her set. A throwback story to her days in Spring Awakening and one of those songs would also have been great. I saw a video on YouTube of her doing Blue Wind a few years back, and she killed it. So, yeah, I enjoyed Lea's set, but it could have been better. Oh, and one more thing. This was completely out of Lea's control so I don't blame her in the slightest, but I was really hoping that Jonathan Groff would show up to do a surprise duet with her. He'd done it before, at one of her concerts, and I was really hoping he'd do it again. This event couldn't have been more perfect for a stunt like that, but I guess he must have been away doing press for his new Netflix show. Sigh, maybe next year.

Alan Cumming's set is where things went from good to bad real fast. Let me say first, that I like Alan Cumming. I think he's a talented performer. That said, his set was a poor fit for Elsie Fest. It started off okay. He sang Keane's Somewhere Only We Know, a nice throwback for all the Glee fans in attendance, and then did Mein Herr from Cabaret. He even started to tell a funny story about going back to Cabaret 16 years later which quickly transitioned into an ad for his newly opened club in the East Village (very subtle). Then he decided to introduce What More Can I Say from Falsettos with just what the night needed, a lecture on politics. To say that the crowd's energy was brought down by that lecture/number would be an understatement. Then he went into a mashup of Adele's Someone Like You and Gaga's Edge of Glory, and I remember thinking, “Okay, course correction, maybe he can still salvage this.” After that number he then went on to tell a rather mean-spirited anecdote about how all those songs sound the same. And while, yes, pop songs are similar, the way he said it was derisive and again brought the audience out of the good mood they'd just started to get back into. Someone really needed to take him aside for a moment and remind him that he was at a concert to celebrate Broadway and its fans. But, of course, no one did so he then went into a very short Sondheim mashup designed to prove that all his songs are the same too. This one didn't bother me as much as I am not one to worship at the altar of Sondheim, but this was where he lost the rest of the crowd. Some of the older people near me walked away. Then, after another political lecture, he chose to end his set with Ladies Who Lunch (not exactly a crowd pleaser). I'm not sure who he was meant to be performing for at this point, he'd already lost the millenials and pissed off the older, die-hard Sondheim fans. Most of the audience had either gone to the restrooms or had taken out their phones. But despite all that, he pressed on with his odd choice, then told the audience yet again to #resist, and left.

Suffice it to say, Darren had his work cut out for him going into this last set. I'd say he succeeded in getting the crowd back and ending things well, but there were a few things I'd have done differently. Ingrid Michaelson and Auli'i Cravalho were both great additions. Auli'i sounded great on her signature song from Moana, and wow is that young lady poised! She seemed so comfortable on that stage. She even called Darren out for calling her character a princess, their lighthearted back and forth was both delightful and needed! Ingrid Michaelson gave a soulful performance of Somewhere That's Green in honor of her late father. That was honestly one of the highlights of the night for me. Her other two numbers were also lovely, but that one stood out. Keala Settle did a new song from the upcoming movie The Greatest Showman which was okay. I mean, she was great, but the song was just okay. Norm Lewis, on the other hand, only performed one song, and it was a disappointment. Now, I understand his reluctance to do a song from his current show, Sweeney Todd, and that's certainly fair enough. I could also see how he might be a bit tired of Les Mis. Also fair, but he didn't do a Broadway number at all. He sang What's Going On by Marvin Gaye and peppered his performance with more political interjections. Putting aside the politics, why any performer come to Elsie Fest, perform a single song, and not have it be a Broadway song? If he was having trouble choosing a song to perform, I'm sure the audience would have been all too happy to offer suggestions. Personally, I was hoping he'd do Dust and Ashes from Great Comet. He's got the perfect voice for it. But literally any Broadway song would have been better than none at all.

As for Darren's songs, he performed them well. He's also got an infectious charisma. Every time I see him, it’s just such a joy to watch him perform. That said, I wish he'd worked a few new numbers into his set. I'm not saying cut out Teenage Dream. I'd happily listen to him perform his version of that song well into his 80s. But One Fine Day and I Dreamed a Dream should have been replaced with two new Broadway numbers. Darren's a guy who sees everything on Broadway. Much like with Lea, I'd have loved to hear a story or two about some new show he's seen and then watch him perform a song from it. That aside, one welcome addition to his set was Granger Danger. I was thrilled that he'd convinced Jenna Ushkowitz to join him for that song. Those two singing together was another highlight of the night for me. And while his set may not have been perfect, I think he found the perfect ending. He closed out the night with Tom Petty's Free Fallin'. Given that the performer had just passed away, it was a fitting tribute, and Darren sang it beautifully.

This last bit isn’t related to any one particular performer, but I had to include it for posterity’s sake. Before Lea Michele came out to do her set, she was introduced by Satan himself, Ryan Murphy. The crowd applauded for him, as any polite crowd still coming off a Jeremy Jordan high would, but as that applause began to die down, I booed, loudly. So loudly that people turned to stare at me. My response to their questioning looks, “I’m a Glee fan.” So to all those glee fans who weren’t able to be there in person. I wanted you all to know that someone booed the man in the yellow hat on your behalf. 

And that's all there is. Thank you for reading my Elsie Fest ramblings. Who knows? Maybe one of the organizers will find this and take my suggestions to heart. Regardless, if Elsie Fest stays in Central Park, I will definitely be back for 2018!

“Fairview,” winner of the 2019 Pulitzer Prize for Drama, began Off-Off Broadway.

“Small theaters” play a large role in making New York City the world’s cultural capital, according to  “All New York’s a Stage,” a report issued this week by the Mayor’s Office of Media and Entertainment that looks at the cultural and economic impact of Off-Broadway and Off-Off Broadway, a “sector” (in policy-speak) that is made up of “748 small venue theater organizations” that generate “$1.3 billion in total economic output” annually. They also generate much of the theater world’s cultural heat these days. One example: Some dozen Pulitzer Prize winning plays originating in NYC’s small theaters, including this year’s winner “Fairview” above (Soho Rep), 2016’s “Hamilton” (New York Public Theater), 2015’s “Between Riverside and Crazy” (Atlantic) and 2014’s “The Flick” (Playwrights Horizons.)   One arresting fact: The majority of staff of these theaters are volunteers.  Here are some charts from the report:

  Thanksgiving Week Broadway Schedule

including 15 shows adding performances today!

The Week in New York Theater Reviews

Ronete Levenson (Sue), Lindsay Rico (Paula), Helen Cespedes (Emma), Jennifer Lim (Cindy)

Fefu and Her Friends

Fefu picks up a double-barrel shotgun and shoots at her husband near the beginning of “Fefu and Her Friends,” billed as a modern classic and written by the beloved avant-garde playwright Maria Irene Fornés,  who died in October 2018 at the age of 88. “It’s a game we play,” Fefu explains matter-of-factly to her friends, putting the gun back against the drawing room chair. “I shoot and he falls. Whenever he hears the blast he falls.”

For the first time in 40 years, Off-Broadway theatergoers can actually hear that gunshot blast too, thanks to a Theater for a New Audience production, directed by Liliana Blain-Cruz, that is itself a blast….for much of the time. For the rest of the time, it’s…..well, to quote the director herself on her reaction when discovering the work of Maria Irene Fornés: “Oh my god. I don’t understand anything that’s going on, but I love it.”

The Half-Life of Marie Curie

Marie Curie won the Nobel Prize twice, but she was also a woman; so the Nobel committee asked her not to show up at the ceremony. We learn the specific reason why early on in this well-intentioned, workmanlike play by Lauren Gunderson about the friendship between two world-class women scientists who lived a century ago.

Samuel H. Levine as Adam, Kyle Soller as Eric, Kyle Harris as Jasper, Arturo Luís-Soria as Jasper2, Jordan Barbour as Tristan, and Darryl Gene Daughtry Jr. as Jason1

The Inheritance

“The Inheritance,” a long, ambitious play about three generations of gay men in New York, pays homage to two masterpieces, without being one itself. Yet the play by Matthew Lopez, making his Broadway debut, is both sweeping and intimate, sophisticated and raw, a weepy that is often funny. Several performances are transporting, including two actors making their Broadway debuts, and an actress who made hers 67 years ago. There are swoops into intellectual brilliance, such as when one of the characters elaborately compares America to a body, its democracy to a body’s immune system, and the current president to the HIV virus. There are dips into nudity and raunch. There is insight and debate and uplift. Does “The Inheritance” need to be nearly seven hours long and in two parts to achieve all that? The short answer is no. But there’s so much here that’s so wonderful that it’s worth it to those with the stamina.

A Christmas Carol

Who knew that “A Christmas Carol” could be so dangerous!

The assaults begin even before the first line of dialogue in the new, charming if overlong, and extraordinarily well-designed Broadway production of Charles Dickens’ 1843 classic, starring Campbell Scott as Ebenezer Scrooge and Andrea Martin and LaChanze as Ghosts of Christmas Past and Present. Cast members on the stage dressed as 19th century English blokes and birds throw clementines and cookies to (at?) the audience…vigorously.

“I’m suing,” said somebody sitting behind me, in a straight-faced impersonation of Scrooge, after he was hit by one of the packages of chocolate chips.  “Are you an attorney?”

Evita

It’s surely pointless, four decades and two billion dollars after its debut, to rant about Evita, and silly to blame Andrew Lloyd Webber’s theatrical canonization of the amoral historical figure Eva Perón as paving the way for the elevation of another media personality remade into a dictator-loving populist. Still, this core problem I have with the musical stops me from fully embracing its revival at New York City Center, even as I acknowledge that the singing in this production is gorgeous, the orchestra lush, the choreography fun, and the story reinterpreted in some bold and intriguing if not always effective ways.

Two adaptations of novels by Édouard Louis:

James Russell Morley and Oseloka Obi on the video

The End of Eddy

Parts resemble a book report for school, but won’t be mistaken for a story hour because of the inventive stagecraft and the rawness of the stories — relentless bullying, deadened people in a dying factory town, his sad and funny efforts to ‘be a man,’ his sexual experimenting.

History of Violence

An examination of trauma; that in any case is the most consistently insightful aspect of the adaptation…. committed performances by the four-member cast…but the production ultimately felt more like an exercise in stagecraft rather than a pointed exploration of history or violence.

  The Week in New York Theater News

Grammy Award nominees for best musical theater albums: Ain’t Too Proud, Hadestown,  Moulin Rouge, plus the incidental music from the play Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. The 62nd annual Grammy Awards will be held on January 20, 2020.

Ephraim Sykes in Newsies

Motown’s Ephraim Sykes as member of The Temptations, Berry Gordy Jr.’s brother, member of the Jackson 5

Ephraim Skyes as Seaweed J. Stubbs —

Ephraim Sykes as David Ruffin

Ephraim Sykes will star as Michael Jackson in “MJ,” the musical slated to open on Broadway beginning the summer 2020. A thrilling performer, he’s had an increasingly high-profile career: Memphis,Newsies,Motown,Hamilton, Hairspray Live, and Tony-nominated for his role as avid Ruffin in Ain’t Too Proud: The Life and Times of the Temptations.

He is now both performing in Ain’t Too Proud and rehearsing for MJ. How can he do this? “I always say just a bunch of prayers, and drink as much coconut water as I can find,” he told Essence.

Lynn Nottage, the Pulitzer Prize winning playwright of “Ruined” and “Sweat,” is the book writer for MJ the Musical. In a mutual interview in Vogue magazine between Nottage and Slave Play playwright Jeremy O. Harris, he brings up MJ:

Can I ask you a question about Michael Jackson? How do you contend with the weight of that history?

We all, on some level, recognize the complexity of Michael Jackson. For many years, he has occupied a very specific space.

Going into this moment, when there’s such a spotlight on him, and such decided opinion on it now around what we should do with that history…

Cancel culture is the dominant culture in this moment. But my guiding principle is that you have to sustain the complexity. I really feel as an artist that writing this piece is me trying to process my complicated feelings about someone who I idolized from the time I was five years old. To reconcile that with that person who, in the media, was quite complicated. I can’t simply cancel that person. I have to, as an artist, lean into that complication—that is what I’m investigating by doing this. And I think that the easy thing would be to say no and run away. But for me the more interesting thing is to lean into it and try to figure out personally how I feel.

  Separately, John Logan (Moulin Rouge the Musical, Red, The Aviator) has been hired to writea movie script about Michael Jackson.

Patrick Stewart’s one-man version of “A Christmas Carol” will be presented for two nights only, Dec 11 & 13 at Theater 511 to benefit City Harvest and Ars Nova

“Soft Power” will release a cast recording in Spring 2020.

They grew up at Boston Children’s Theater. Now They Look Back with Alarm

“a group of 17 former students who sent a letter to the theater’s board late last month, detailing a range of negative experiences with [Burgess Clark, the director of Boston’s Children’s Theater]; three alleged that Clark had kissed or touched them inappropriately. Beverly police are investigating; no charges have been filed. A group of older alums sent a second letter describing their own disturbing encounters. Burgess has resigned.”

  Rest in Peace

  Michael J. Pollard in Bye, Bye Birdie

Michael J. Pollard in “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis”

Michael J. Pollard in “Bonnie and Clyde”

Michael J. Pollard, 80, best known for TV roles (“The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis”) and his Oscar-nominated part in the movie “Bonnie and Clyde”, was also a 5-time veteran of Broadway, such as the original Hugo Peabody in “Bye, Bye Birdie.”

    Small Theater is BIG in NYC. Ephraim Sykes is Michael Jackson, Lynn Nottage answers why she’s taking on MJ. #Stageworthy News of the Week "Small theaters" play a large role in making New York City the world's cultural capital, according to  

Movies of 2017

Every year I write down all the movies I watch and compile it in a long year-end list like this one. Since mid-2016 I’ve used letterboxd.com to keep track of dates and ratings but in 2017 I started recording where I watched each film too (got the idea from Silver Screen Fiend by Patton Oswalt; his list is 4 years and hundreds of movies long). This is about 12,000 words long and it took me a few days to write (and a month to edit apparently) so I don’t really expect anyone to read this all the way through but there are top/bottom 10s and honorable mentions at the bottom if you just want the highlights. Also y’all know these are just my opinions right? Feel free to discuss movies you also saw last year or maybe even give some recommendations if you want to. My watchlist is about 500 movies long and I’m always adding to it. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you in a year.

116 movies in 2017

January – 11

February – 5

March – 3

April – 4

May – 8

June – 10

July – 12

August – 15

September – 17

October – 6

November – 9

December – 16

1/1 – Hell or High Water (2016) – 8 – Home (Ridgecrest) – Directed by David Mackenzie – Written by Taylor Sheridan – Dirty, gritty, and full of brotherly bank robbing, Hell or High Water is a thrilling and morbid look at the lower class rural communities that America is leaving behind and the lengths to which some will go to provide for their families. The line between good and bad is muddled as the exploited seek to take back from the exploiters and as the law (Jeff Bridges) slowly closes in on them. Really exciting and moving film with great performances all around. Highly recommended if you liked Sicario (the darker and more thrilling version of this movie, also written by Taylor Sheridan) or if you like the atmosphere and/or flavor of crime unique to the American Southwest.

1/2 – Frances Ha (2012) – 10 – Home – Directed by Noah Baumbach – Written by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig – One of my top 5 films ever and contender for coziest film of all time, Frances Ha is arguably Noah Baumbach’s magnum opus. This film has been both praised and criticized for its mumblecore-esque dialogue, “quirky” characters, and the seemingly meandering plot in its 86-minute runtime. To enjoy this you really need to be able to empathize with the plight of these privileged white kids in their late 20s as they try to find direction in an inherently directionless time in life. It’s not a film for everyone but it’s everything to the people for whom it resonates. It seems to have a permanent stay on Netflix too so check it out if you have an hour and a half to spare. Also it has Adam Driver playing a privileged art kid living in Manhattan.

1/10 – La La Land (2016) – 9 – Cinemark Lancaster – Directed by Damien Chazelle – Written by Damien Chazelle – “Jacques Demy for the digital age.” If you like LA, golden-age Hollywood musicals, theatre, jazz, Ryan Gosling, and/or Emma Stone then you’ll like this movie. The non-musical parts tend to drag a bit, especially toward the last half of the film, but it’s amazing that movies like this still get released (even if it’s just a huge love-letter to Hollywood).

1/12 – Spirited Away (2001) – 9 – Home – Directed by Hayao Miyazaki – Written by Hayao Miyazaki – A classic that oozes with charm and has some of the best world-building and character designs I’ve ever seen. It receives a lot of praise and deserves every bit of it.

1/13 – Blue Ruin (2013) – 8 – Home – Directed by Jeremy Saulnier – Written by Jeremy Saulnier – An amazing and gruesome thriller from the same guy who made Green Room. If you get tired of protagonists seemingly always knowing what to do or only encountering minor setbacks placed there simply because they need to be there then I feel like you’ll like this movie. The revenger must often deal with obstacles he creates himself and that’s where much of the tension and excitement comes from (but don’t take my word for it since I haven’t seen it in a year). Is very good film though.

1/16 – Prisoners (2013) – 8 – Home – Directed by Denis Villeneuve – Written by Aaron Guzikowski – A slow burn suspense thriller about Hugh Jackman’s daughter being kidnapped and Jake Gyllenhaal having to find her. This movie is extremely fucked up and it could’ve been amazing if not for some parts toward the end that feel rushed. It’s definitely worth your time though, everything by Villeneuve is.

1/17 – Ratatouille (2007) – 8 – Home – Directed by Brad Bird and Jan Pinkava – Written by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, and Brad Bird – Probably my favorite Pixar movie. The music, voice acting, designs, writing, etc are all great obviously since this is pre-shitty Pixar (though hopefully the slump is over what with Coco’s success and Incredibles II coming soon).

~Spring Semester 2017~

1/22 – Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) – 10– Oak (Chico home) – Directed by Steven Spielberg – Written by Lawrence Kasdan, George Lucas, and Philip Kaufman – The best Indiana Jones movie and arguably the greatest action/adventure film of all time. Hell, it’s one of the greatest movies of all time. The pacing (understandably) takes a hit after the basket chase and no one remembers the u-boat scene but otherwise it’s perfect.

1/22 – Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) – 7 – Oak – Directed by Steven Spielberg – Written by Willard Huyck, Gloria Katz, and George Lucas – The worst of the original Indy trilogy but still good. Darker than Raiders but somehow cheesier than Crusade, and that’s not even mentioning the casual racism, although you could definitely argue that it’s being racist to satirize the serials of the 1930s. Or maybe it’s just racist because it was the 80s.

1/23 – Silence (2016) – 8 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Martin Scorsese – Written by Jay Cocks, Shûsaku Endô, and Martin Scorsese – This movie is long and completely joyless; a two and a half hour slog of Christian missionaries being tortured and killed in horrific ways that make you question faith and the lengths to which some will go to do what they believe is right, no matter the suffering it may cause. This film is great because it’s Scorsese but don’t expect good vibes.

1/25 – Split (2016) – 5 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by M. Night Shyamalan – Written by M. Night Shyamalan – Terribly overrated, depressing, and lame. If you do decide to see this, make sure you watch M Night’s good movies first since this is a sequel and the “twist” of this one is basically a huge fuck you to anyone who didn’t. James McAvoy was amazing but it’s pretty much the only worthwhile thing about this.

2/9 – Frances Ha (2012) – 10 – Nord (old Chico apartment) – Directed by Noah Baumbach – Written by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig – Fun fact, this was my most watched movie in 2017.

2/9 – Captain Fantastic (2016) – 8 – Nord – Directed by Matt Ross – Written by Matt Ross – There are pacing issues but this movie is a solid 8/10. Wonderfully heartfelt performances, lovable characters, and a beautiful story. The poster makes it look like a Wes Anderson / Little Miss Sunshine rip off but it’s not that at all. Definitely check this one out.

2/10 – 20th Century Women (2016) – 9 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Mike Mills – Written by Mike Mills – Oh wow I love this movie. So so so so good. This coming of age story is about Annette Bening, Elle Fanning, Greta Gerwig, Lucas Jade Zumann, and Dr. Manhattan living in Santa Barbara in the late 70s just living their lives. It’s nostalgic and it’s beautiful and please see this.

2/15 – Superbad (2007) – 8 – Nord – Directed by Greg Mottola – Written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg – A true classic. I watched this for the first time on an iPod Nano in 2008 and had to be real sneaky about it because I knew my parents wouldn’t let me watch it. Definitely a defining film of the 2000s and one that’ll be remembered fondly.

2/15 – Knowing (2009) – 5 – Nord – Directed by Alex Proyas – Written by Ryne Douglas Pearson, Juliet Snowden, and Stiles White – This movie combines an interesting premise with some seriously disturbing disaster visuals and a not-the-worst performance from our boy Nic Cage. I actually really enjoy this movie and aside from pacing/writing issues and a questionable ending it's not even that bad.

3/12 – Kong: Skull Island (2017) – 5 – AMC Disneyland – Directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts – Starring Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, Brie Larson, John Goodman, and John C. Reilly – This movie is a total schlock-fest and it’s fun as hell. Super fun action, cool creature designs, a dope setting, and John C Reilly is a god among men. On the flip side, the first 20 minutes kind of suck, the pacing is INSANE, the characterization is terrible, and the love-story was half-assedly shoehorned in but if you like over-the-top ridiculous bullshit then you’ll fucking love this movie because that’s all it is.

3/17 – Hot Rod (2007) – 7 – Home – Directed by Akiva Schaffer – Written by Pam Brady – One of the best comedies of the 2000s. Legitimately hilarious and super well written. Cool beans.

3/19 – Midnight in Paris (2011) – 5 – Oak – Directed by Woody Allen – Written by Woody Allen – I used to love Midnight in Paris but upon re-watch I noticed there are really just a few excellent scenes surrounded by terribly lazy writing. I love the themes and the depictions of the modernists but the writing is typical phoned in Woody Allen bullshit. Woody Allen retire bitch.

4/1 – The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004) – 9 – Nord – Directed by Wes Anderson – Written by Noah Baumbach and Wes Anderson – Starring Bill Murray, Anjelica Huston, Cate Blanchett, Willem Dafoe, Owen Wilson, and Jeff Goldblum – Gets better every time I watch it. It’s definitely up there with Anderson’s best even though Grand Budapest or Tenenbaum usually overshadows it. Wonderful soundtrack.

4/2 – Get Out (2017) – 8 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Jordan Peele – Written by Jordan Peele – Relevant, funny, and poignant; This only gets better on re-watch because the script is tight as fuck and there are small things that only make sense in hindsight. Also I never realized before but there’s a very good reason the protagonist is a photographer and the thematic significance of black bodies also can’t be ignored. A very well written movie and I can’t wait to see what Jordan Peele has in store for the future.

4/6 – The Discovery (2017) – 5 – Oak – Directed by Charlie McDowell – Written by Charlie McDowell and Justin Lader – The worst Black Mirror episode you could possibly imagine: very interesting premise with a terribly flawed execution. Really it’s just boring and that’s the worst thing it could be. Also why is Jason Segel in this?

4/17 – The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016) – 4 – Nord – Directed by André Øvredal – Written by Ian B. Goldberg and Richard Naing – The first hour was enjoyable and suspenseful but by the end I really didn’t give a shit. Very meh and wastes Emile Hirsch and an ok premise.

5/9 – Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) – 6 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by James Gunn – Written by James Gunn – Back in May people were saying this is better than the first Guardians and I have no idea what movie they watched because this is blatantly awful in comparison. 80% of the action scenes are fun and engaging but the other 20% are I-want-to-go-home levels of boring. The emotional moments were certainly much better than the first but the jokes are much worse BY FAR. “Haha nipples haha turds hahaha trash panda huehuehue.” The jokes that land are hilarious but when they fall flat they fall hard. The pacing of this thing is baffling as well with short periods of insane action and long periods of nothing but failed emotion baiting and baby groot being a fool. I sleep. I do think the plot was more interesting than the first and Yondu’s story was awesome but this could have been much better. It wasn’t, but it definitely could’ve been.

5/12 – Don’t Think Twice (2016) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Mike Birbiglia – Written by Mike Birbiglia – Starring Keegan-Michael Key, Gillian Jacobs, Mike Birbiglia, Kate Micucci, and Chris Gethard – This is about a bunch of improv comics struggling with their failures and insecurities in the failing Brooklyn improv scene while one of their troupe makes it big and joins the cast of SNL. I don’t want to say anything else because there’s not much else without spoilers but you should watch this if you like comedy/comedians/improv. Pros: Written by Mike Birbiglia. Cons: Lena Dunham cameo.

5/20 – Possession (1981) – 10 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Andrzej Żuławski – Written by Andrzej Żuławski – This movie is completely insane and it fucking rules. It’s impossible to articulate anything about this movie because it’s a totally evil and fucked up cosmic horror film that relies on atmosphere and makes less sense the closer you look at it. I highly recommend this film but be prepared to leave with a ton of questions and no answers at all.

5/21 – Prometheus (2012) – 6 – Nord – Directed by Ridley Scott – Written by Jon Spaihts and Damon Lindelhof – People give this movie too much shit. I loved this back in 2012 and thought the idea of the engineers creating humanity then coming back and trying to kill them was very interesting. 5 years later I’m not totally sold on the execution but the characters are great despite their stupidity and the premise is a fun exploration into the Alien universe. I re-watched this in preparation for Covenant thinking it would be necessary but no it didn’t matter at all.

5/23 – Alien: Covenant (2017) – 5 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Ridley Scott – Written by Jack Paglen, John Logan, Dante Harper, and Michael Green – “I’ll do the fingering.” This movie is ridiculous. The first 45 minutes or so are great and harken back to a time when Ridley Scott movies weren’t synonymous with schlocky garbage, but then it devolves into typical thoughtless action-horror. Don’t expect any questions from Prometheus to be answered and don’t expect any questions from this one to be answered because by the end of the film nothing matters. Fassbender is far and away the best part of this and the action is really cool if you don’t think about it. Really, both Prometheus and Covenant are good movies if you don’t think about the things that make them bad. Like at least they’re entertaining.

5/24 – I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore (2017) – Nord – Directed by Macon Blair – Written by Macon Blair – Starring Melanie Lynskey and Elijah Wood – A fun Netflix original by Macon Blair, the protagonist of Blue Ruin and Nazi dude in Green Room. This almost seems allegorical in how it depicts those who do violence, those who oppose violence by any means necessary (even going as far as to commit violence themselves), and those who oppose violence regardless of intent or justice. It’s shot pretty well and it’s good to see Elijah Wood and Melanie Lynskey back together again (Over the Garden Wall).

5/24 – The Iron Giant (1999) – 9 – Nord – Directed by Brad Bird – Written by Ted Hughes, Brad Bird, and Tim McCanlies – A classic and a cornerstone of my childhood. One of the best animated films of all time hands down. RIP John Mahoney :(

5/27 – Alien (1979) – 8 – Nord – Directed by Ridley Scott – Written by Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett – I need to watch Alien again because I feel like other people see more in it than I do. It’s great but it’s underwhelming and I expected more from it (didn’t affect my rating). It’s better than the new films but something about it didn’t work for me I guess. I’ll watch it again in 2018.

~Summer~

6/2 – Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) – 5 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg – Written by Jeff Nathanson and Terry Rossio – I didn’t hate this movie. Weird pacing in the first half, the plot was much looser than previous Pirates films, and the actual climax with the mcguffin was terrible BUT there were some really cool sequences and great locales/sets. I’d venture a guess that most of the budget for this went to the sets and Johnny Depp. There are really no surprises here and if you liked any of the other Pirates movies you’ll probably enjoy yourself. It’s better than the previous two. Also that one shot with the stars on the island was incredible.

6/3 – Wonder Woman (2017) – 6 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Patty Jenkins – Written by Geoff Johns, Allan Heinberg, Zack Snyder, and Jason Fuchs – The best DCEU film and a cool WWI film but there are MANY problems. Regarding the good; this movie had fun characters, the whole beginning part on the island looked beautiful, and Gal Godot and Chris Pine are wonderful. I also rather liked the first half or so. As for the bad—there’s a lot of it. The framing device is god-awful, the CGI is laughably bad, there’s an HOUR of exposition upfront in which nothing happens, an entire German battleship disappears after they kill 30 guys on the beach and is never brought up again or explained, there’s an overuse of slow mo making the CGI look even worse, every shot off the island (even the ones in broad daylight) look like they were filmed through limo tint, and the third act is a mess. But the biggest problem I have with this film is that Diana never learns from her mistakes and is almost too naïve to be likeable. She’s doing her own thing the whole movie trying to get to Ares specifically and then when the third act comes we realize oh none of it even mattered and Chris Pine is the one who actually saves the day. DC is straight up incompetent.

6/5 – The Void (2016) – 4 – Home – Directed by Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski – Written by Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski  – Cool Lovecraftian themes, some awesome practical creature effects and designs, and seriously disturbing imagery marred by a boring script and wholly uninteresting characters. This could’ve been good if the cosmic horror elements were fleshed out more but this movie is pretty lame as is.

6/6 – Chris Chan Documentary – 6 – Home – Directed by Josh L (Sachumo) – Written and Edited by Josh L (Sachumo) – Christian Weston Chandler (known as “Chris Chan”) is a 33 year old high-functioning autistic internet celebrity/punching bag known for his “countless anti-social episodes and traumatic events in his life. From public outbursts to assault of property and people, these events have eaten away at his very sanity.” I first learned about Chris Chan through memes and people doing impressions of his distinctive voice but I later learned about the man, the meme, the legend and became curious to find out more as many who discover him do. Chris is basically what happens when those with autism or other mental disabilities don’t receive the help they need at an early enough age and then discover the Internet where they find themselves at the mercy of a population disconnected from the consequences of their actions. Chris is probably most well known for his creation of Sonichu, an OC character that is a hybrid between Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu, but he’s probably equally well known for engaging with the trolls who have harassed him for well over a decade. If you’d like to learn more about Chris Chan I recommend checking out this movie, the Chris Chan Documentary: https://youtu.be/bXjnakAlF-s or this Down the Rabbit Hole episode about Chris: https://youtu.be/5IPtLvxO8hs OR the best version; the Chris Chan Lecture: https://youtu.be/vFOIauPQ5XI

6/19 – It Comes at Night (2017) – 7 – Christiana Cinemark Newark, DE – Directed by Trey Edward Shults – Written by Trey Edward Shults – I love the concept of the audience only knowing as much as the characters; it gives the film a sense of immersion you don't get with other horror suspense films. Despite that I don't think this lived up to its potential so it was a bit disappointing imo. They could've done more with it but for what it is I think it's completely fine. I don't think it's fair or sound to judge a movie based on expectations vs. result so I won't do that here but I think they could've gotten away with a little more plot. I'll probably never watch it again but I enjoyed it and would recommend it fur sure, especially if you like what a24 has released previously.

6/19 – Independence Day: Resurgence (2016) – 2 – Hockessin, DE – Directed by Roland Emmerich – Written by Dean Devlin, Roland Emmerich, Nicolas Wright, James A. Woods, James Vanderbilt – This movie sucks so bad I purged it from my brain.

6/20 – The Mummy (2017) – 3 – United Artists Philly – Directed by Alex Kurtzman – Written by Christopher McQuarrie, David Koepp, and Dylan Kussman – I didn’t hate this movie but I did get bored around the second or third round of expository monologue. Tonally inconsistent and, at times, what seemed like an inexplicable combination of two different movies. There were the parts about the Jekyll SCP-esque society for containing evil, which I thought was pretty cool, but then there were the parts about the actual mummy, which I couldn’t have cared less about. I think everyone did a fine job here with what they were given except for Jake Johnson whose delivery was ridiculously terrible for some reason lmao

6/29 – Life (2017) – 4 – Home – Directed by Daniel Espinosa – Written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick – Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, and Ryan Reynolds – I literally just wrote a list as I watched so here are the most important thoughts I guess: the score is extremely generic, some really dodgy CGI in places, the characters are idiots, I got bored and looked at the time and there were still 45 minutes left oh god, they refuse to kill the alien even when they have the chance, and my final thought was “glad I didn’t pay money to see this.” I also said “I liked when Calvin smacked into the door like a cartoon.” Haha that part was good. Still better than The Cloverfield Paradox.

6/29 – Crimson Peak (2015) – 8 – Home – Directed by Guillermo del Toro – Written by Matthew Robbins and Guillermo del Toro – The sense of place and atmosphere in this film is remarkable. Some seriously spooky imagery and ghost design and the camera work is delicious. Love the sets, love the performances, and love the genre. Goddamn that’s some good shit right there.

6/30 – The Beguiled (2017) – 9 – Arclight Hollywood – Directed by Sofia Coppola – Written by Thomas Cullinan and Sofia Coppola – Starring Colin Farrell, Nicole Kidman, Kirsten Dunst, and Elle Fanning – Incredible sound design, cinematography, atmosphere, tension, and performances. Most shots could be framed and hung on the wall and every scene had such a thick sense of place you could reach out and grab it. Worst thing were some of the accents at times but god damn everything else was near perfect. It’s downright disgusting how slept on this movie was.

7/3 – Cars 3 (2017) – 7 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Brian Fee – Written by Robert L. Baird, Daniel Gerson, Kiel Murray, Bob Peterson, Mike Rich, Brian Fee, Ben Queen, Jonathon E. Stewart, and Eyal Podell – Here’s my letterboxd review from the day I saw Cars 3: “Never thought I'd be able to empathize so well with anthropomorphized cars. Uh so I really enjoyed this movie and it's much better than Cars 2. Glad they toned town the Mater involvement and when they did include him his jokes landed pretty well so he was actually fun in this one. The pace was lightning fast for the first act but the 2nd and 3rd were pretty good and the climax was pretty intense even though I knew exactly what was going to happen. This movie looks fucking incredible and some of the shots looked close to photorealistic. The lighting especially was so fucking choice dang. Can u tell I love Pixar movies?”

7/6 – The Thing (1982) – 10 – Home – Directed by John Carpenter – Written by Bill Lancaster and John W. Campbell Jr. – Arguably one of the best horror films of all time and a personal favorite of mine. Practical effects are life. It’s just perfect. The second watch later this year has more info about it so read that one too.

7/9 – Despicable Me 3 (2017) – 6 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Kyle Balda and Pierre Coffin – Written by Ken Daurio – This was fun. The animation looked pretty good and Trey Parker was pretty hilarious in every scene he was in, although I couldn't help my cynicism and notice how transparent some of their decisions for this installment were. Dr. Nefario is frozen in carbonate because I'm guessing they couldn't get Russell Brand again and they included a ton of 80s stuff to cash in on the whole stranger things / 80s nostalgia craze. Even with these things in mind they still wrote a more than coherent plot around it so whatever I won't fault them even though they weren't very subtle about it. There were 2-4 separate plots going on at any given time but it worked because it kept the movie flowing well. The minions were ok but they didn't do much. Pacing was pretty good and I was surprised to find out it was only like 1h25m. If you liked the other ones you'll like this one.

7/10 – The Big Sick (2017) – 8 – Ventura Downtown 10 – Directed by Michael Showalter – Written by Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon – Starring Kumail Nanjiani, Zoe Kazan, Holly Hunter, and Ray Romano – Fucking incredible. I used to love comedy—I still do but I used to too—and if you love comedians like I do then you will probably love this film as well. Kumail's story is hilarious as it is heartbreaking and it completely subverts the romantic dramedy format that Apatow films are known for. Someone recently criticized Apatow films for running about 20 mins too long and I definitely felt that with this one too (less so on rewatch). Still works even if it feels a bit overlong. Anyway yeah throw all your fucking money at this film. Stories like these deserve to be told and, most importantly, seen. 1000 congrats to Kumail and everyone else involved.

7/14 – Aliens (1986) – 7 – Home – Directed by James Cameron – Written by James Cameron – I really don’t know why Alien is such a successful franchise. The first Alien is great, Aliens is good but not great, and the rest are shit in comparison. I can barely remember anything about this movie and this isn’t even the first time I’ve seen it. Perhaps it is not for me. All I can remember is Bishop’s knife trick (WHAOOOOOOAOAAOOHHH WHAOOAOAOAOHHHHHH WHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHHHH) and Newt saying “they moostly come at night,, moostly”

7/15 – Baby Driver (2017) – 7 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Edgar Wright – Written by Edgar Wright – Overrated. The deaf representation, synchronized soundtrack, and performances are great but this is the weakest film Edgar Wright has done imo. The pacing is weird and it doesn’t always make sense given the character motivations and also Kevin Spacey is in a movie called baby driver. Kinda forgettable in hindsight.

7/17 – The Big Lebowski (1998) – 10 – Oak – Directed by Joel Coen – Written by Joel and Ethan Coen – Starring Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, and Philip Seymour Hoffman – A lot of people don’t like this movie and I feel like it’s because the comedy is derived from the characters instead of actual jokes and gags. These people are hilarious and the characterization is absolutely incredible so by the end of the movie you should be completely on board with the chaos that is the Big Lebowski. Absolutely masterful writing and directing because it’s the coen bros.

7/18 – Friday (1995) – 5 – Oak – Directed by F. Gary Gray – Written by DJ Pooh and Ice Cube – Starring Ice Cube and Chris Tucker – This was the first time I watched Friday and now I know where all the annoying piece of shit kids in middle school got all their references. This movie is pretty funny though so I don’t blame em.

7/20 – The Green Inferno (2013) – 3 – Oak – Directed by Eli Roth – Written by Guillermo Amoedo and Eli Roth – This gets worse every time I watch it so why the fuck do I keep watching it. The only thing this movie has going for it (if you can even say that) is that the gore is legitimately fucked up. Honestly this movie would work pretty well if it went the dark and gritty Cannibal Holocaust route but it’s just so ridiculously stupid and tonally inconsistent.

7/22 – Dunkirk 70mm IMAX (2017) – 10 – Ontario 22 – Directed by Christopher Nolan – Written by Christopher Nolan – What I’d imagine a perfect movie looks like. Maybe it’s because I saw this in 70mm IMAX but this film is incredible. It doesn’t feel like it should be but it really is that good. The biggest complaint I’ve seen about this has been about the lack of characterization, which is very obviously not the point of this movie at all and shouldn’t be taken into consideration when critiquing it. The characters are not the point. You don’t need a lull in the action where 5 people gather around a campfire and talk about their lady back home like every single other shitty melodramatic war movie since the beginning of time. This isn’t Saving Private Ryan; it’s fucking Dunkirk. It’s a mad dash through land, sea, and air to survive. It’s tense, it’s moving, and it’s pure suspense and thrills from start to finish. One of the best movies of the year no doubt about it. Seeing it in IMAX was a revelation.

7/23 – Enemy (2013) – 8 – Home – Directed by Denis Villeneuve – Written by José Saramago and Javier Gullón – This movie is crazy. Just watch it without looking up anything about it I promise it’ll be better that way. And make sure you pay attention from start to finish to get the best experience because there’s tons of symbolism (spiders and webs etc). I’d think this would get better on rewatch if the first viewing wasn’t so insane.

7/29 – Dunkirk 70mm IMAX (2017) – 10 – Regal Hacienda Crossings 20 – Directed by Christopher Nolan – Written by Christopher Nolan – It was even better the second time.

8/1 – The Prestige (2006) – 9 – Oak – Directed by Christopher Nolan– Written by Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan, and Christopher Priest – Even though I rated Dunkirk higher I’d say this is Nolan’s best work. Everything has a purpose and everything is important. “Are you watching closely?” Only complaint is that there’s something about this that feels cheesy but that might just be a Nolan thing.

8/2 – Spider-Man 2 (2004) – 6 – Oak – Directed by Sam Raimi – Written by Alvin Sargent and Stan Lee – Not nearly enough Spider-Man in this Spider-Man movie. Also it’s cheesy as hell because 2004.

8/3 – Jackass: The Movie (2002) – 6 – Andrew’s House – Directed by Jeff Tremaine – Written by Jeff Tremaine, Johnny Knoxville, and Spike Jonze – Like it or not, jackass is culturally significant and a perfect snapshot of the MTV crowd in the early 2000s. This is my childhood and I’m happy the newer generations are still watching this stuff.

8/4 – Mattress Man Commercial (2003) – 8 – Home – Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson – Starring Philip Seymour Hoffman – A comedic short featured on the 2-disc DVD of Punch-Drunk Love, released in June 2003: https://youtu.be/fkeLGisUHtc

This is actually a parody of this original mattress man commercial: https://youtu.be/Fsro18nP3mg

8/7 – The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948) – 8 – Home – Directed by John Huston – Written by John Huston and B. Traven – Starring Humphrey Bogart, Walter Huston, and Tim Holt – Great movie about greed and humanity. It’s no wonder Paul Thomas Anderson named this as an inspiration for There Will Be Blood. Kinda slow but worth it in the end. Required viewing as far as Bogart movies go. I don’t remember it very well to be honest.

8/8 – Gangs of New York (2002) – 7 – Home – Directed by Martin Scorsese – Written by Jay Cocks, Steven Zaillian, and Kenneth Lonergan – Daniel Day-Lewis is amazing in this, Leo is alright in this, and Cameron Diaz—well I guess my question is, can you recast someone’s part in a 15 year old movie? I heard great things about Gangs but it really didn’t live up to the hype and felt very dated, which is something we’re going to be seeing a lot of from late 90s/early 2000s films as time goes on. I have the book but I still need to read it. I absolutely love stuff about the history of Manhattan.

8/9 – Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) – 10 – Home – Directed by Stanley Kubrick – Written by Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern, and Peter George – The best performance(s) from Peter Sellers and without a doubt one of my favorite endings of all time. If you haven’t seen this yet then you’re missing out.

8/9 – Clapping for the Wrong Reasons (2013) – 8 – Home – Directed by Hiro Murai – Written by Donald Glover – Starring Donald Glover, Trinidad James, Danielle Fishel, Flying Lotus, Abella Anderson, and Chance The Rapper – A surrealist short film by the renaissance man himself, Donald Glover. It follows a day in the life of ‘The Boy,’ a character Donald Glover created for his rap persona Childish Gambino to go alongside his 2013 album “Because the Internet.” The haunting cinematography by Hiro Murai, director of Atlanta, and the score by Gambino create an atmosphere that I fucking can’t get enough of. Also Gambino and Chance the Rapper have a pushup contest and you can watch the whole film here: https://youtu.be/Z_bONLcE8IA

8/10 – Casablanca (1942) – 10 – Home – Directed by Michael Curtiz – Written by Julius J. Epstein, Philip G. Epstein, and Howard Koch – There’s a reason Casablanca is regarded as one of the greatest movies of all time and has somehow remained in the pop culture for over 75 years. A beautiful and moving film that’s more relevant than you think. vive le france, vive la démocratie.

8/11 – Annabelle: Creation (2017) – 4 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by David F. Sandberg – Written by Gary Dauberman – Hot take: both Annabelle movies are hot garbage. The script is laughably bad, the directing is ok, and the last act was exciting enough to be enjoyable. I like how it tied into the Conjuring universe but the writing was so bad that I honestly felt like I could write a better script and that’s not good. Also I kept forgetting this wasn’t Insidious. At least possession cures polio.

8/16 – Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983) – 6 – Oak – Directed by Steven Spielberg, Joe Dante, John Landis, and George Miller – Written by George Clayton Johnson, John Landis, Richard Matheson, and Rod Serling – Starring Albert Brooks, Vic Morrow, John Larroquette, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd, Scatman Crothers, and Rod Serling – I had to include that all-star cast. I think I’m biased because the Twilight Zone is a huge part of my childhood and continues to be, mostly through New Years marathons and Netflix background streaming, but I enjoy this movie quite a bit. Twilight Zone the show is amazing. The movie is fine. John Landis is a murderer.

8/17 – Paths of Glory (1957) – 9 – Oak – Directed by Stanley Kubrick – Written by Humphrey Cobb, Stanley Kubrick, Calder Willingham, and Jim Thompson – Starring Kirk Douglas – I watched this on a whim at 2 am and it was great. Also I didn’t know Kirk Douglas was in this movie until I looked it up afterwards.

8/18 – Chinatown (1974) – 9 – Oak – Directed by Roman Polanski – Written by Robert Towne – Starring Jack Nicholson, Faye Dunaway, John Huston, and Roman Polanski – Chinatown is extremely good and the history behind it is actually pretty interesting. I occasionally listen to a podcast called ‘You Must Remember This’ all about Hollywood history in the 20th century and one of the episodes centering around Roman Polanski talks about Chinatown and its production quite a bit. The original script was written by Robert Towne, was 180 pages long, and had a different ending but Polanski cut down and reordered the plot then changed the ending, causing Towne to leave the project. This is also Polanski’s reluctant return to American film after the Tate murders of 69. Roman Polanski die bitch.

8/20 – Watchmen (2009) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Zack Snyder – Written by David Hayter, Alex Tse, and Alan Moore – Watchmen was the last film I watched before the fall semester started and it caused me to have the first of many existential crises/breakdowns that would continue up to the end of 2017. Moral of the story this was not a good way to start the fall semester but Watchmen is fucking awesome. The graphic novel is even better but I still appreciate the film. Can’t wait to watch the Extended Director’s Cut in 2018.

~Fall Semester 2017~

8/21 – Operation Avalanche (2016) – 5 – Oak – Directed by Matt Johnson – Written by Josh Boles – Starring Matt Johnson, Owen Williams, and Jared Raab – I heard about this from YourMovieSucks.org I think and it was ok. I fell asleep watching it like 3 times so I don’t remember it well enough to talk confidently about it but I remember the ending was underwhelming. It’s basically about these filmmakers in the 60s who learn that the US is probably going to lose the space race to Russia so, after seeing Kubrick’s front projection technology, they’re hired to fake the moon landing for the US government. Super interesting premise but flawed execution. They actually shot the NASA scenes on location after they told them the equipment was for a student documentary.

9/1 – Apocalypse Now (1979) – 10 – Oak – Directed by Francis Ford Coppola – Written by John Milius, Francis Ford Coppola, Joseph Conrad, and Michael Herr – Starring Martin Sheen, Marlon Brando, Robert Duvall, Frederic Forrest, Laurence Fishburne, and Harrison Ford – What the fuck even is Apocalypse Now. This movie feels like a comedy in spots and a shadowy fever dream in others and it all somehow works. Either Coppola is a genius or the editors are. I still need to watch the documentary about the making of this (Hearts of Darkness) but I’m sure it’ll end up on next year’s list and that question will be answered.

9/2 – Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Steven Spielberg – Written by Jeffrey Boam and Menno Meyjes – Starring Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Denholm Elliot, Alison Doody, and River Phoenix – Mitch I finally got to finish watching the OG Indy trilogy; it only took 8 months. This is my favorite Indiana Jones movie because it balances the serious with the fun/cheese really well. Technically speaking, Raiders is the best Indy movie hands down but it isn’t quite as rewatchable as Crusade imo and Temple is insanely dumb and annoying in comparison. Crusade hits that sweet spot, making it one of those movies that I always need to sit down and finish if I see it on TV.

9/3 – There Will Be Blood (2007) – 10 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson – Written by Paul Thomas Anderson and Upton Sinclair  – One of my favorites of all time and arguably one of the best movies ever made. This film is literally perfect. Thrilling, dark, and evil, Daniel Day-Lewis disappears into the role of Daniel Plainview and Paul Dano gives an incredible performance as Eli. Goddamn this movie is so good I’m so happy I got the chance to see it in the theater this time. Paul Thomas Anderson is my favorite director and everything he touches is a masterpiece.

9/8 – It (2017) – 5 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Andy Muschietti – Written by Chase Palmer, Gary Dauberman, Stephen King, and Cary Fukunaga – I was expecting a horror movie because they marketed this as a horror movie but it is not a horror movie. It tries to be a dozen different 80s films and fails at being any of them. Complete tonal disaster. Is it a raunchy comedy? Is it a horror film? Oh no it’s Stranger Things! Wow John Hughes! 1980s! Do you remember the 1980s? They were over 30 years ago now isn’t that crazy? Buy tickets to our movie.

If this was billed as a dark comedy I would’ve liked it more but when it’s actually a lame horror film with no tension or effective scares then how could it not be disappointing? To be completely honest I would have walked out about halfway through if I hadn’t seen it with friends. The praise this movie received is honestly baffling to me; it’s a total piece in every department except for Finn Wolfhard making dick jokes.

9/10 – The Room (2003) – 1 – Clay Theater San Francisco – Directed by Tommy Wiseau – Written by Tommy Wiseau – I HIGHLY recommend seeing this in the theater at a midnight showing because I have never laughed harder in my entire life and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I knew I had to see this again to prepare for The Disaster Artist but a midnight screening is the only way to experience this movie. Tommy Wiseau is an inspiration to us all.

9/12 – Grave of the Fireflies (1988) – 10 – CSU Chico Ayres 106 – Directed by Isao Takahata – Written by Akiyuki Nosaka and Isao Takahata – They screened this as part of the University Film Series at Chico and boy is it sad as fuck. The story is told in an unconventional way and it’s extremely effective. High recommend but don’t expect to do anything afterwards.

9/14 – mother! (2017) – 8 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Darren Aronofsky – Written by Darren Aronofsky – BALLS TO THE WALL INSANITY HOLY SHIT. I had an absolute blast seeing this in the theater because I had NO idea what to expect and wow this movie really delivered on blowing my expectations into orbit. Sure, Aronofsky is pretentious and his knowledge of allegory could be summed up by a one-word 72-pt font bold synopsis that reads, “HAMFISTED.” Sure, there’s an extremely unnecessary and possibly disturbing part for women that occurs towards the last half. Sure, this is just a weird but not-boring adaptation of Rosemary’s Baby. Sure all these things, but this movie is fucking insane and there’s much more to this than “loll bible allegory.” There are at least TWO other extended metaphors you could reasonably interpret from this story and that’s the main reason why this isn’t a pretentious piece of shit.

9/16 – Night of the Living Dead (1968) – 8 – Oak – Directed by George A. Romero – Written by George A. Romero and John A. Russo – I wrote my last long post about how influential and amazing this film is because it really is that good. In a vacuum this is probably a 6 or 7 out of 10 but considering what it did for the horror genre it deserves an extra star or two.

9/16 – Dawn of the Dead (1978) – 8 – Oak – Directed by George A. Romero – Written by George A. Romero – This is what people describe when they think of a zombie apocalypse, or at least this is what most people envision; locking yourself in a mall or store with everything you’d ever need and waiting/fighting it out. The sheer joy the characters experience as they scavenge the stores and slap the shit out of some zombies is super relatable and everyone is extremely likeable. With some legitimately hilarious moments and a few genuine scares, Dawn is a solid entry in the Dead franchise. Side note: I love that the Romero Dead films are very critical of capitalism. Gives me the warm fuzzies.

9/17 – Paris, Texas (1984) – 10 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Wim Wenders – Written by Sam Shepard and L.M. Kit Carson – One of the most beautiful films I’ve ever seen. The colors, the shot composition, and the acting—my god what an incredible movie. I was lucky enough to catch a screening of this at the Pageant in Chico but unfortunately it was a rather sad occasion since Sam Shepard and Harry Dean Stanton both passed within 2 months of this screening. Shepard was my favorite playwright and he will be sorely missed. Also a lot of the highway scenes are shot along the 395 and you can even see the old Kramer Junction Astro Burger looking exactly the same in 1983 as it does now. RIP Harry and Sam <3

9/19 – Day of the Dead (1985) – 9 – Oak – Directed by George A. Romero – Written by George A. Romero – Ok I thought the first two Dead movies were good but this is be far my favorite. It feels much more focused that the first two and is probably the best example of realism in the trilogy. In the first two there were many moments where the characters seemed like they were almost trying to be caught by zombies but in this one the survival feels much more natural. The enclosed setting, with its tight hallways and small underground rooms, makes for deaths that feel inevitable rather than forced. And the practical effects dude, holy shit. I thought The Thing had great practical effects but wow this movie is gruesome. It almost makes me regret calling the gore in Dawn of the Dead “gnarly.” The gore in Day of the Dead makes the gore in Dawn of the Dead look like the gore in Night of the Living Dead. This movie kicks ass.

9/19 – Embrace of the Serpent (2015) – 8 – CSU Chico Ayres 106 – Directed by Ciro Guerra – Written by Ciro Guerra and Jacques Toulemonde Vidal – This was part of the University Film Series at Chico and tells the story of a “life-transcending friendship” between Karamakate, a lone Amazonian shaman, and two scientists 40 years apart who both go into the jungle looking for a rare psychedelic plant to help them. Filmed almost entirely in black and white, this was a hard look at the disappearance of the indigenous culture at the hands of industrialization and religion. It’s really depressing to think about all the stories lost to time because of greed but these are the kinds of stories that need to be told to make people aware of that fact.

9/21 – The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) – 10 – Oak – Directed by Tobe Hooper – Written by Kim Henkel and Tobe Hooper – One of the best horror films ever made. Absolutely oozing with death and grit—the unknown actors, detailed sets, and somewhat naturalistic way of shooting create a feeling of realism not present in many other films. It just feels fucking evil and a lot of that comes down to the atmosphere since the story is quite simple. If you haven’t seen it then you need to. It’s required viewing for horror fans.

9/24 – Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017) – 3 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Matthew Vaughn – Written by Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman – The first Kingsman was an enjoyable parody of Bond films but this one was essentially a parody of the first Kingsman. In other words, THIS MOVIE FUCKING SUCKS HOOOOLY SHIT. They just stopped caring; they really don’t give a shit anymore. From the ps2 game cutscenesque CGI to the fucking claw machine sports stadium prison thing seriously what the fuck is this garbage. The suspension of disbelief needed to enjoy this movie is impossible to attain and I just don’t know why this exists. How is the audience supposed to care about anything when you’ve literally cured death? They removed all stakes from this movie just to get Colin Firth back and then spoiled his return in all the marketing; it’s just baffling. [Extremely Stefan voice] this movie has everything; cartoon car chases, vaginal walls, Chekhov’s Elton John, Republican claw machines, heroin overdoses, and Channing Tatum reprising his role as Magic Mike for ¼ of this 8 minute screen time.  Oh hey did you see that bar fight scene from the first one? Get ready to see that about 5 more times but boring. Oh hey did you like the doin-it-in-the-butt joke from the first one? Well you’re in luck because this is just as lowbrow but for the entire film! Fuck this movie and fuck Matthew Vaughn for creating this cancerous waste of money and time. I pray to any and every deity that we will never see a Kingsman 3.

9/26 – Psycho (1960) – 9 – Oak – Directed by Alfred Hitchcock – Written by Robert Bloch and Joseph Stefano – Wow! What a reveal. I wish this hadn’t been spoiled by pop culture because this would’ve been such a fun ride to follow. Knowing all the twists dampens the effect but by god the direction is incredible. Hitchcock truly is a genius filmmaker. The way the events unfold is so satisfying.

9/27 – Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Philip Kaufman – Written by W.D. Richter and Jack Finney – Legitimately terrifying. The way it’s shot makes it feel like the movie knows something you don’t and the genuinely upsetting imagery and sounds throughout make this such a weird and surreal journey. The practical effects are awesome and the ending is insane. Definitely the best Body Snatchers adaptation.

9/29 – Ingrid Goes West (2017) – 5 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Matt Spicer – Written by David Branson Smith and Matt Spicer – Starring Aubrey Plaza, Elizabeth Olson, O’Shea Jackson Jr, and Wyatt Russell – A total takedown of social media culture. Ingrid is an extreme example of how social media normalizes over sharing and voyeurism, allows for and encourages total curation and bastardization of self-image, and how it rewards mental illness. It’s a numbers game and Ingrid is #killingit. Jk but I found the commentary in the first half to be especially effective and hilarious. It’s just so ridiculous but horrifyingly relatable—like Spring Breakers for social media but not as good (and if you didn’t like Spring Breakers then this movie is better if only because it’s not nearly as esoteric). Worth a watch if ur millennial scum like me.

10/1 – The Fog (1980) – 6 – Oak – Directed by John Carpenter – Written by Debra Hill and John Carpenter – I had no idea this was a ghost pirate movie. Felt like it had potential that it failed to reach by being so small scale and just kind of lame in general. Sorry if ghost pirates aren’t lame to you but this really didn’t leave a lot to the imagination once the threat was revealed and the scares were okay at best. It was good for what it was. Felt kinda Goonies tbh.

10/4 – The Thing (1982) – 10 – Oak – Directed by John Carpenter – Written by Bill Lancaster and John W. Campbell Jr. – Jesus Christ look at Kurt Russell’s fucking hat. Something unusual about this film is that we learn how the thing works pretty much immediately after it becomes known. In fact, we learn quite a bit about it. The establishing shot is a UFO crashing and we get the burned thing at the Norwegian station. After the kennel scene we learn the thing digests beings, absorbs them, then imitates/transforms. They discover the actual UFO then find out the thing can absorb and imitate from a single cell—spelling certain doom for all living things on earth if left alive. Really the horror in this film is so effective because the characters aren’t idiots. They learn a considerable amount about the thing (thereby establishing rules) but it doesn’t really help them survive. Plus, it’s damn near invincible. These elements plus the practical effects easily carry this into top horror films of all time territory. But seriously what’s up with Kurt Russell’s fucking hat

10/13 – I Love You, Man (2009) – 8 – Oak – Directed by John Hamburg – Written by John Hamburg and Larry Levin – I love this movie, man. A seriously underrated and endlessly quotable late 2000s comedy about bro-love and jamming to Rush. Hell yeah.

10/14 – The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) – 9 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Tobe Hooper – Written by Kim Henkel and Tobe Hooper – I got to see this in the theater and holy shit I HIGHLY recommend it.

10/19 – Pi (1998) – 5 – Oak – Directed by Darren Aronofsky – Written by Darren Aronofsky, Sean Gullette, and Eric Watson – This is Darren Aronofsky’s debut film and it’s extremely weird and unsettling. Fitting that a story about losing your mind trying to predict the future using math and numbers would make you feel like you’re going crazy while watching it. It’s worth checking out next time it shows up on Netflix if it sounds interesting or if you like other Aronofsky movies like Requiem for a Dream or mother!

10/21 – Suspiria (1977) – 8 – Pageant Chico – Directed by Dario Argento – Written by Dario Argento, Thomas De Quincey, and Daria Nicolodi – This movie is odd. The lighting is absolutely astounding, the music is legitimately awesome, the actors are bad, the dubbing is TERRIBLE, but it all works because it’s a horror film and all these elements make it feel like a movie from another planet. Horror-fantasy done marvelously right. Can’t wait to watch more Argento movies. Seeing this in the theater was a revelation.

11/8 – Blade Runner: The Final Cut (1982) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Ridley Scott – Written by Hampton Fancher, David Webb Peoples, and Philip K. Dick – A marvel of production design. It took me a while to get through this because it’s so slow (not a bad thing) but it’s absolutely worth it for the beautiful world, bleak yet cozy atmosphere, and one of the best ending monologues ever put to film. If you’re going to watch it, make sure you watch the Final Cut even though Ridley Scott is a total hack and insists on undercutting the very themes that make this movie great by inserting scenes to entertain fan theories that came after the fact. Luckily, even Ridley Scott can’t ruin this. He can ruin everything else he touches but he can’t touch Blade Runner. (I would like to clarify that Ridley Scott is a great visionary and director, just a bad storyteller)

11/8 – Blade Runner (2049) – 9 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by Denis Villeneuve – Written by Philip K. Dick, Hampton Fancher, and Michael Green – Move over Toy Story 2, this is the best sequel ever made. I had always heard great things about Blade Runner so on November 8th I decided to watch Blade Runner and 2049 back to back on the last day it was in the theater. On this very rainy day I put BR: Final Cut on, after it was done I went to a local ramen place and ate noodles while looking out into the neon-lit street, then I went to the theater for a 2.5+ hour sequel that I had only heard great things about. Even with moderate to high expectations and a very unfortunate bathroom break I was completely blown away. Denis Villeneuve is one of the best directors working today and Roger Deakins does some of his best and most creative work on this movie. Just fucking incredible (because Ridley Scott wasn’t involved). If you’ve seen Blade Runner you NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE. It’s so so so so good and I can’t wait to see it again.

11/10 – Boogie Nights (1997) – 9 – Oak – Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson – Written by Paul Thomas Anderson – Starring Mark Wahlberg, Burt Reynolds, John C. Reilly, Julianne Moore, Thomas Jane, Heather Graham, Philip Seymour Hoffman, William H. Macy, and Don Cheadle – Had to include the cast again because look at the sheer talent Paul Thomas Anderson is able to attract. One of my favorite films of all time and absolutely incredible for only being PTA’s second film, Boogie Nights is a true masterpiece in every sense of the word. Everyone is great in this—even Mark Wahlberg, though maybe that’s because he plays an inexperienced actor with an inflated ego. Even though it feels too long I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

11/14 – Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Jon Watts – Written by John Francis Daley, Jonathan M. Goldstein, Erik Sommers, Chris McKenna, Christopher D. Ford, and Jon Watts – The first half is my favorite spider-man movie by a considerable margin. There are a ton of flaws and feels overlong in the second half but Vulture is a great villain and everyone is great. This is what a spider-man movie should be.

11/21 – Lady Bird (2017) – 9 – Ventura Downtown 10 – Directed by Greta Gerwig – Written by Greta Gerwig – The best coming-of-age film because it’s such an honest depiction of life in your late teens told through a series of disjointed, chronological vignettes. It’s just extremely good and I don’t know what else to say. I guess I could say: Greta Gerwig? More like Better Greta Oscar.

11/22 – Thor: Ragnarok (2017) – 8 – Ventura Downtown 10 – Directed by Taika Waititi – Written by Craig Kyle, Christopher Yost, Stephany Folsom, and Eric Pearson – This movie is hilarious. Taika Waititi absolutely steals the show in every scene he’s in and this is clearly the best marvel movie since Guardians of the Galaxy. Just pure fun from start to finish.

11/23 – Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1987) – 8 – Ojai – Directed by John Hughes – Written by John Hughes – I’ve been wanting to watch this on Thanksgiving for years now so I’m glad I was finally able to because now I know where all those references came from.

11/24 – Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) – 8 – Century Riverpark 16 – Directed by Martin McDonagh – Written by Martin McDonagh – I really liked this initially but some people made some pretty good points that I can tell will definitely sour this on rewatch. I bought it the first time but I don’t think I’m going to be able to the second time. It’s definitely tone-deaf (makes sense since it wasn’t written by an american but takes place in the american south) but I’ll need to watch it again to comment accurately on it and update the rating. I really liked this when I saw it though and it’s one of the better movies of the year if you don’t think about the characterization. I do think the “real people don’t talk this way” argument is fucking stupid though.

11/30 – The Boss Baby (2017) – 2 – Oak – Directed by Tom McGrath – Written by Marla Frazee and Michael McCullers – 100th movie of the year! Lmao this movie is bad and the protagonist Tim is a piece of shit. The kid has a perfect family life with his 3 stories, 4 hugs and 5 ego strokings every night and then he acts the fuckin fool when boss baby comes around and his parents have to,, idk,, take care of a fucking baby?? Like first of all, imagine being a kid with a broken family and being so excited to see your biennial movie in the theater and the first thing you see is this spoiled-ass kid with the most obnoxiously perfect life ever depicted. I had a pretty great family life and I felt shitty watching this so I can’t imagine what most kids seeing this would think. Then when boss baby literally strolls up to the house, Tim gets extra hella buttmad over dumb bullshit and it makes him the most incredibly unlikeable character like why is he the protagonist.

Absolutely nothing in this movie makes sense and it’s batshit insane. They were too cheap to 3D animate like half the dream sequences in the first quarter of the movie, instead using a hybrid 2D/3D drawn style that changes styles between each sequence, so I was always confused what was real and what was actually happening. You’re led to believe that there’s a modicum of reality outside of the dream sequences but then the boss baby shows up and he’s definitely real and wearing a suit for real so like this universe completely blurs the lines between subjective and objective but ONLY SOMETIMES and just expects you to accept that the movie is written like shit.

Also there’s a ton of boss baby ass in this movie. No one asked for implied anal penetration in the first ten minutes and no one wants to see some boss baby powder ass-slap bullshit or a puppy muzzle-deep inside the boss baby’s asshole while he’s wearing the skin of a dog. NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS. Then the pacing is so baffling that I literally thought the movie was going to end and it was only HALFWAY OVER. It’s lightning fast until about 30 minutes in when it skrrts to a slow crawl. There are two finales, a pedophile in a dog costume, a plan to distribute hundreds of immortal puppies all over the world by literally throwing them from a rocket, and references (steals from) lord of the rings, every Pixar movie, raiders of the lost ark, and minions. Then the movie just sort of ends with boss baby and Tim becoming gay dads before setting up a Boss Baby Lady sequel. Also the pedophile steals a baby. Also also the music was done by HANS ZIMMER.

This movie,,,,,, is extremely bad but it was so funny (often unintentionally) so I’d recommend it if you want to laugh at a ridiculous kids movie. I won’t fault a children’s film centered around a talking baby in a tiny suit for being ridiculous but I will fault it for being totally incoherent and needlessly stupid when other animated films manage just fine.

12/6 – The Dark Knight (2008) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Christopher Nolan – Written by Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan, and David S. Goyer – This is probably the best Nolan Batman movie but it definitely has the problems present in most Christopher Nolan movies. Tonal inconsistencies and plot holes galore but “it’s a comic book movie so whatever.” The last half gets kind of muddy and I’m wondering if an 8 is too high but it’s arguably the best Batman film ever made and it definitely has the highest highs of the Nolan Batman trilogy so whatever.

~Winter~

12/17 – The Disaster Artist (2017) – 6 – Cinemark Chico – Directed by James Franco – Written by Scott Neustadter, Michael H. Weber, and Greg Sestero – The only good things about this are James’ performance as Tommy Wiseau and the little lines from the Room peppered throughout this to show that Tommy is just as wacky as the Room’s script would lead you to believe. Uninspired camerawork and a plot that doesn’t begin to do the actual story justice. In the end this exists as nothing more than a bitter reminder that we will never get a proper Disaster Artist adaptation. Why James Franco, why?

12/19 – Call Me by Your Name (2017) – 9 – Arclight Sherman Oaks – Directed by Luca Guadagnino – Written by James Ivory and André Aciman – One of the most beautiful films I’ve ever seen. Romantic, heartfelt, honest, and it has not one but TWO Sufjan Stevens songs.

12/20 – Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) – 5 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Rian Johnson – Written by Rian Johnson – As far as technical achievements go, The Last Jedi is awesome and it looks incredible. All the action is fun and intense as hell and it’s enough to keep most people from realizing how poorly written this movie is. Even the coolest space battle can’t save this from being a failure in creating tension or making sense on the most basic of levels.

I originally had a LONG and scathing review but it was really mean spirited and I don’t feel comfortable posting it so I’ll just say I liked it when I saw it but the plot, dialogue, writing, and editing fell apart the moment I started thinking about it. The plot of this movie only works because the characters are written to be complete idiots and every conflict is so contrived that nothing matters. There’s no stakes and no tension because Disney Star Wars movies NEED to have quippy dialogue that undercuts all dramatic tension because they think it’s a marvel film. Because of this, the First Order is a non-threat who aren’t taken seriously at all. In the first 6 movies we were supposed to fear the Empire and the Sith and the dark side but every time any Rebels die in this we have BB-8 zipping around like a fool to remind us to not give a shit about any of this because it doesn’t matter. None of the decisions any of the characters make matter and the entire Finn and Rose plot happens for no reason (and SPOILERS, gets everyone killed because of their stupidity, which they don’t learn from or reference ever again because nothing matters). I honestly think Rian Johnson should have gotten past the first or second draft of the script before he started filming but hey, what do I know. It’s full of plot holes, anachronisms, and cringe dialogue and it’s just a badly written. It’s too bad you can’t judge the quality of a film based on how “fun” it is.

On the flip side; Kylo Ren, Rey, Luke, and Poe actually had character arcs and everything involving them was great and the lightspeed jump scene was the coolest shit even though it was completely unearned. Overall a deeply flawed film that’ll probably get retconned in the very near future what with its relative box office failure and the impending bomb of Solo. Call me crazy but maybe placing one of the most anticipated movies from one of the most well known franchises into the hands of a single dude wasn’t a good idea. It’s certainly a mistake Disney won’t make again.

12/22 – La La Land (2016) – 9 – Home – Directed by Damien Chazelle – Written by Damien Chazelle – I love this movie.

12/22 – Bright (2017) – 3 – Mike’s House – Directed by David Ayer – Written by Max Landis – “There’s boring, there’s bad, and then there’s ‘Bright,’ a movie so profoundly awful that Republicans will probably try to pass it into law over Christmas break” –David Ehrlich. Paper-thin premise that attempts to set up the logical extension of “what if medieval fantasy but modern” without thinking for more than 5 seconds about what that kind of universe would actually look like or the major implications therein. It’s formulaic, predictable, and fails terribly at trying to comment on racism but it was super entertaining and fun to mock with friends so I give it a 3/10. Max Landis retire bitch.

12/23 – Coco (2017) – 8 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Lee Unkrich – Written by Adrian Molina, Matthew Aldrich, Lee Unkrich, and Jason Katz – Wow Coco is so good! A major return to form for Pixar and I definitely almost cried. Definitely see this ASAP.

12/23 – The Meyerowitz Stories (2017) – 8 – Oak – Directed by Noah Baumbach – Written by Noah Baumbach – Starring Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson and Grace Van Patten – This movie was great. High recommend if you like Noah Baumbach or Woody Allen type movies or want to see Adam Driver say, “SUCK A DICK OH GOD” and Adam Sandler yelling, “just let me eat my FUCKING BANANA.” One of the best Netflix Originals by far.

12/24 – The Peanuts Movie (2015) – 7 – Home – Directed by Steve Martino – Written by Bryan Schulz, Craig Schulz, and Cornelius Uliano – This movie is delightful and stays true to the art style of Peanuts while using 3D animation in a fun and innovative way that looks beautiful. Solidly enjoyable despite the contemporary pop songs that will date this horribly in years to come.

12/24 – Zodiac (2007) – 8 – Home – Directed by David Fincher – Written by James Vanderbilt – I can’t believe it took me this long to see Zodiac. Solid film with solid acting and a solid story. Gyllenhaal, RDJ, and Mark Ruffalo were great and if you haven’t seen this I highly recommend it just because it’s David Fincher and it’s kind of required viewing at this point.

12/26 – The Shape of Water (2017) – 8 – AMC Thousand Oaks – Directed by Guillermo del Toro – Written by Vanessa Taylor and Guillermo del Toro – This was not at all what I was expecting and that’s a really good thing. Color is a big part of this so pay attention to that and make sure to see this when you can. It’s kind of cheesy (as all Del Toro films are) but it comes off as stylization, which makes it more than tolerable.

12/27 – Phantom Thread 70mm (2017) – 9 – Arclight Hollywood – Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson – Written by Paul Thomas Anderson – Starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Lesley Manville, and Vicky Krieps – The score is beautiful, the performances are great (as if there were any doubts), and for the most part I didn’t know what the hell was going to happen but I liked how it panned out. My heart was pounding during the climax and I’m happy we’re seemingly getting more of the PTA lovers-linked-across-space-time stuff. I’ll definitely need to see this again next year. My only complaints were that there weren’t enough tracking shots and not enough giant cowboy hats. (It gets even better on rewatch holy shit it’s SO good the second time)

12/29 – Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) – 6 – Ridgecrest Cinemas – Directed by Jake Kasdan – Written by Chris McKenna, Scott Rosenberg, and Jeff Pinker – This movie was pretty fun. If you’re wondering, it’s completely its own thing aside from the name and it really translates well to a video game. I’m delighted this wasn’t a total piece of shit tbh. Also very thankful for the surprise cameo that could have easily been spoiled by the marketing but wasn’t. That’s super rare.

12/30 – Wind River (2017) – 8 – Home – Directed by Taylor Sheridan – Written by Taylor Sheridan – Someone told me this movie sucked when it came out so I never saw it in the theater and I regret it now. This movie is good but real fucked up so be prepared. Like a modern western but in Wyoming and by the same guy who did Sicario and Hell or High Water. It deals with the stealing of native lands as well, which is extremely underrepresented in films (hmmm I wonder why).

12/31 – The Lego Batman Movie (2017) – 7 – Home – Directed by Chris McKay – Written by Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers, Seth Grahame-Smith, Jared Stern, and John Whittington – This movie looks amazing! The first half is noticeably better than the second but it’s really good and all the meta-humor is fun. It’s definitely not as good as the Lego Movie but it’s pretty alright.

12/31 – World of Tomorrow Episode Two: The Burden of Other People’s Thoughts (2017) – 8 – Home – Directed by Don Hertzfeldt – “It was not its fault it was an insect; an incomplete creature without any backup copies. All of its experiences are gone forever. We can never know them. If there is a soul, it is equal in all living things. We all cling to the same brief, flickering windows in the infinite darkness... except for clones. Clones are better.” This was just what I needed to end 2017: a thoughtful look at consciousness, memory, and the burden of being alive and searching for relevancy. 2017 was a year of reflection so hopefully 2018 brings more contentedness and less depressive nihilism.

Top 10

1 – Blade Runner 2049

2 – Lady Bird

3 – Phantom Thread

4 – Dunkirk

5 – Call Me By Your Name

6 – The Beguiled

7 – Coco

8 – The Shape of Water

9 –  The Big Sick

10 – Get Out

Bottom 10

107 – Star Wars: The Last Jedi

108 – Alien: Covenant

109 – The Mummy

110 – Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

111 – Life

112 – Bright

113 – The Discovery

114 – Annabelle: Creation

115 – Boss Baby

116 – Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Honorable Mentions: Frances Ha, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Spirited Away, Possession, The Thing, The Big Lebowski, Dr. Strangelove, Casablanca, Chinatown, Apocalypse Now, Paris Texas, Texas Chainsaw, 20th Century Women, Enemy, The Prestige, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Watchmen, There Will Be Blood, mother!, Day of the Dead, Suspiria, The Room

2014 – 92 movies

2015 – 124 movies

2016 – 77 movies

2017 – 116 movies

Final thoughts: This year I did relatively well, watching 39 more movies than last year. Depression killed my motivation to watch things and then I was extremely busy with school in October so I wasn’t able to do some of my intended short term goals like watch a movie every day in September or 31 horror films in October. My goals for next year are to watch even more (shooting for 150 but we’ll see) and to start knocking out a considerable number of old movies on my watchlist since I tend to watch newer things. As far as taste goes I’m a total pleb but it’s mostly because I gravitate towards easily accessible films, which skews modern. I didn’t get around to a bunch of movies released this year like Kedi, Logan, Raw, The Blackcoat’s Daughter (it was okay, also not released in 2017), The Little Hours, A Ghost Story, Good Time (good movie, NOT a good time), The Florida Project, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, The Square, Murder on the Orient Express, Justice League, or I Tonya (it was okay) but I’m sure I’ll get around to em in 2018.

Thanks for reading and follow me on twitter, insta, or letterboxd @thejoeydavis

Every guy wanted to believe he had what it took to be Danny Zuko. He was the epitome of masculine power—a total bad ass and luck was always on his side. Tough, charming, confident, charismatic. Julien was roughly five-years-old when he watched Grease for the first time and felt like he somewhat understood it. With his nose pressed to the TV screen, he marveled at the music, the dancing, the leather jackets, the cars, the hair. He wanted in. Julien had a lot of roles he considered ‘dream roles,’ for example: Melchior in Spring Awakening, Link in Hairspray, Tony in West Side Story, Clyde in Bonnie and Clyde...you get the point. But at the very top of that list, above all else, was Danny. Grease was the first musical Julien fell in love with and it was through watching the musical over and over again that he realized what he was destined to be: a leading man.

Like Danny and hair gel or Danny and a cigarette tucked behind his ear, Julien and auditions went together. He was good at them. He had charisma, he had talent, and he was a tenacious performer. Most people got nervous in front of a casting panel, but not Julien. Every audition was a clean slate and a new opportunity to make a good impression. Plus they were fun. As he sat outside the Finn Hudson Auditorium waiting for his name to be called, he reminded himself that not only was he prepared, but he was born for this. Why would God have given him his precious head of hair if not to have him slick it back like a greaser from the 50s in his high school’s production of Grease? Exactly.  

It was Miss Holliday, not his own brother, that peeked out into the hallway and called out “Julien Schuester,” when the clock struck his audition time. He took a deep, steadying breath and hopped out of his seat, putting on a smile and quickly making his way down the aisle of the auditorium a few steps behind the Trouble Tones coach. He stopped in front of his brother and casually greeted him before handing off his completed audition and conflict forms along with his headshot and resume. It was a formality, obviously, because Dan and Miss Holliday were already well aware of who he was. After exchanging pleasantries, Julien made his way to the center of the stage and quickly found his light, clasping his hands together and flashing his million dollar smile.

“Hi,” he started, “I’m Julien Schuester, as you know, and for my audition I’ll be performing ‘She Used to Be Mine’ from Waitress, a Warren monologue from This Is Our Youth and the ‘Never Stop Dancing’ choreography from Footloose...with some of my own tweaks.” Julien’s goal with his audition was to showcase his range. He chose a traditionally female song to show that he was down with the bold choice to have a gender blind production...plus it was objectively a great song and he sounded really good. He was sure no other guys were going to walk in and sing a song from Waitress, so he hoped it’d make him stick out. As for the monologue, well, it was from his favorite play and it captured the essence of being a teenager and being into someone but not necessarily on the same page as them. Very Danny and Sandy if you asked him. As for the dance combination he chose...it was just to showcase that he could dance. And to subliminally remind the directors that he’d been cast as Ren before and was the strongest male lead McKinley had to offer...then and now.

Every piece of the audition went off without a hitch in Julien’s eyes. He hit every note, every emotional beat, every dance move. At no point during his audition did the thought even cross his mind that he wouldn’t get the role he wanted. How couldn’t he? He was nailing it. Despite his brother being the one actually named after Danny Zuko, Julien knew there was no one better for the part than him...not at McKinley, anyway. When he wrapped up his dance combination, the final piece of his audition, he walked back to the center of the stage until he was basking in the spotlight—smiling, breathless. “I forgot to say this before,” he started, running his hands through his hair, “but I’d love to be considered for Danny Zuko.” His lips formed into a tight smile as he vaguely bowed and clasped his hands together in front of him gratefully. "Thank you,” he said with a grin, feeling good about his execution and relishing in the approving smile he had elicited from his brother. With another audition under his belt, he made his way off stage and back into the halls of McKinley, wondering how the hell he was supposed to wait until Sunday for the cast list. 

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UFC Fight Night 104 Preview

WHAT'S HAPPENING: *The Fox show from Denver pretty much delivered everything that could've been expected of it, particularly on the main card, which saw four fighters each make a name for themselves with fairly quick finishes. Leading the way was Valentina Shevchenko, who affirmed herself as bantamweight champ Amanda Nunes's top contender with a somewhat surprising second-round armbar win over Julianna Pena. It's not that Shevchenko won that was the surprise, since she was the betting favorite, but that she was able to tap out a tenacious grappler like Pena, who had actually been having a solid amount of success up to that point in the clinch and wrestling games. Shevchenko can seemingly do it all - she came into UFC with a strong muay thai background and her wrestling looked to be on point, but we hadn't seen much in terms of finishing ability, so this was a huge step. And UFC did well to have Nunes come into the cage after the fight for a pretty endearing showdown, as the two traded barbs back and forth in stilted English that was absolutely charming. That should be a hell of a fight, given how their first meeting went - Nunes had a bunch of success early, but Shevchenko took over for a one-sided third round, leading most to believe that Shevchenko would've won the fight if it went five rounds. So we'll see how it goes this time around. *Well, good on Jorge Masvidal, as his plan worked perfectly. After beating Jake Ellenberger in early December, Masvidal called out Cerrone even though he was already booked, knowing that Cerrone would want to fight as soon as possible anyway, and he did indeed get that fight. And then Masvidal did the hard part, knocking out Cerrone basically twice in a little over a round to get the biggest win of his career and suddenly make himself a welterweight contender. It was mostly an even fight until late in the first round, when Masvidal was able to drop Cerrone right before the horn - Herb Dean pretty clearly stepped in before the round was over, but then insisted the fight was still headed to the second round...at which point Masvidal finished a clearly shaken Cerrone again. I do feel bad for Cerrone, particularly since Denver is his hometown, but this is the downside of taking as many fights as he does - though, on the flip side, he'll probably fight four more times this year and could easily find himself back as a contender by the time 2018 rolls around. As for Masvidal, he does seem to finally be more aggressive, which should serve him well, and he's suddenly got a ton of interesting matchups in the top tier of welterweights to make a run at the belt. *The third big performance on the night belonged to Francis Ngannou, who more or less ran through Andrei Arlovski to establish himself as the next great hope at heavyweight. It'll be fascinating to see what the ceiling is for Ngannou - he's an athletic monster who's only been fighting for a little over three years, but he's improved rapidly from fight to fight, and while Arlovski is somewhat fragile at this point, he was a huge step up for Ngannou in terms of speed and craft, and the Cameroonian really had no problem with the challenge. I have no idea if Ngannou is ready to become a title contender, but I do know there's really nothing left for him to prove fighting guys outside of the top handful of the division, so it might as well be time to try. And the scary thing is, with him being just thirty years old (which is very young for heavyweight at the moment), he's got a few more years to keep improving and figuring things out. *And the Fox card opened with a fourth excellent performance, this one by Alan Belcher protege Jason Knight, who beat Alex Caceres in fairly one-sided fashion leading up to a second-round submission. Like Shevchenko in the main event, the result wasn't as surprising as the finish, as Knight got the better of things on the feet and was able to jump into the grappling realm without much trouble, tapping out a talented, if mercurial vet. And then Knight more or less nailed the post-fight interview, praying to his late father before calling out Doo Ho Choi for what would be a hell of a brawl. Sounds good to me. *The undercard wasn't quite as scintillating, but there was some interesting stuff on it. The biggest result was probably Raphael Assuncao winning a split decision over Aljamain Sterling to stay alive as a bantamweight contender, although it was a fairly boring fight that probably didn't get Assuncao any closer to a title shot. Sterling's extremely frustrating - a blue-chip wrestling-based prospect coming onto the scene, Sterling spent the first two rounds using a weird, low-volume range kicking game that just isn't effective, and probably lost him his previous fight against Bryan Caraway. I'd chalk it up to him not realizing what needs to be fixed, but then he went out and started mixing in some boxing in the third round, winning that frame rather easily and making one wonder exactly why he didn't do that the whole time. So that's two losses for Sterling that easily could've been wins, and I don't really see UFC matchmaking doing him much favors, since he might not be on the best terms with management after some contentious contract negotiations last year. Sigh. As far as individual performances, the best probably belonged to debuting light heavyweight Jordan Johnson, a wrestler who pretty much dominated Henrique da Silva en route to a decision win. Johnson stuck to what he was good at and looked like a top prospect in the process, though he's still fairly raw, so I'd just keep him treading water for a bit until he's ready to move up towards a title shot. In other results on the undercard, Jingliang Li knocked out newcomer Bobby Nash in a fun brawl that was the best fight on the card, Sam Alvey won the featured prelim over Nate Marquardt in yet another weird Alvey fight, and Eric Spicely tapped out Italian prospect Alessio Di Chirico in fairly short order. Spicely then called out Australian fan favorite Dan Kelly after the fight, making him a smart man - try and get that trip to Australia. And even the deeper prelims had some fun stuff, like Marcos Rogerio de Lima knocking out Jeremy Kimball in short order, and Alexandre Pantoja besting Eric Shelton in a battle of TUF 24 alums. *Conor McGregor and UFC are still going back and forth. McGregor had his pay-per-view that was just him being interviewed by Ariel Helwani, and he said some stuff. And Dana was pretty much the promotional equivalent of "come at me, bro." There's still some interesting stuff that can happen, particularly if McGregor uses his boxing license and the Ali Act to get out of his UFC contract, but we're not there yet. *So, Donald Trump's whole travel ban on Muslims. That's a thing. A pretty bad thing. MMA's always had some weirdness going on geopolitically (sup Dagestan), and this is the latest one, as nobody's sure how this is going to affect the foreign-born fighters on the UFC roster. At the only moment, the only pressing case is Gegard Mousasi, who's slated to fight Chris Weidman in Buffalo this April, but was born in Iran and may not be allowed to enter the country despite living in the Netherlands since the age of four. Wheee fun. *World Series of Fighting continues to just be a weird thing, as it's just sort of lurched on as a money pit for whatever shadowy investors are involved at the moment, putting on shows that don't really draw anyone, but still managing to pay some of their top fighters (typically the ones also managed by former matchmaker/WSOF executive/possible terrorist Ali Abdelaziz) way above market value. Anyway, WSOF got bailed out yet again by a new investor group, as they've somehow managed to raise $25 million to sell sixty percent of the company, despite most of their champions now being free agents and the fact that they don't even own their tape library, which may have some value. MMA is a weird sport. *Comings and goings! Per a tweet by UFC matchmaker Sean Shelby, it looks like Al Iaquinta is headed back to the Octagon after basically retiring due to a falling out with management. Iaquinta was a top lightweight contender and his contract was up after a controversial April 2015 win over Jorge Masvidal, where the crowd booed the decision and Iaquinta decided to respond by cursing them out. He then suffered a major knee injury in training, and by mid-2016, all rumors had Iaquinta, a Long Island native, returning against Thiago Alves on the Madison Square Garden show. But Iaquinta never signed a new contract - essentially, Iaquinta argued to UFC that his injury had cascaded from a smaller knee injury suffered in this days on The Ultimate Fighter, while UFC disagreed and basically refused to cover it. Iaquinta eventually got his way, but then felt slighted when UFC fined him for missing a mandatory fighter summit, even though Iaquinta had made it clear he couldn't attend due to some BJJ teaching obligations. After all this, Iaquinta got a new offer, basically decided the money wasn't worth the trouble, and then decided to just call it quits and work as a real estate agent. But now, about six months later, it looks like things have been patched up, and we'll finally see Iaquinta back. On the flip side, UFC may be losing three pretty solid fighters, as welterweights Lorenz Larkin and Rick Story, as well as light heavyweight Misha Cirkunov, were removed from UFC's official rankings since they're no longer considered "under contract," having turned down the chance to re-sign with the company. Basically, this doesn't mean they're free and clear and done with UFC, but rather means they're in a form of restricted free agency, where they can only negotiate with UFC for a bit, and then UFC is free to match any offer one of the three gets after that. Larkin isn't a surprise, since that was well-publicized, and even though he's finally looking like the top contender most expected him to be, it wouldn't be a shock if he left, since he reportedly has a good relationship with his former boss at Strikeforce, current Bellator president Scott Coker. Story, frankly, I could see UFC taking or leaving - he's a solid top ten-to-fifteen fighter and can ably fill a high-card slot, but he's not particularly flashy or exciting. Cirkunov is the really fascinating one, since after his win over Nikita Krylov, he might be the best rising prospect at 205 at the moment. Add in the fact that he's well-known in the Canadian scene after emigrating to Toronto from Latvia, and he's really someone UFC should want to hang on to, and it'll be interesting to see if Bellator decides to make a run at him. Oddly, Ryan Bader is still present in the rankings, although he's openly talked about how this week is when Bellator can finally give him an official offer - I wonder if this is a sign that he's already quietly re-signed with the promotion. *And as almost always nowadays, we end with a whole bunch of drug stuff. We have a race to see who becomes the first three-time drug test failure in the USADA era, as George Sullivan and Ricardo Abreu were both popped for the second time this past week. Sullivan was set to return from suspension and face Randy Brown at UFC 208, but apparently failed a test for clomiphene, a fertility drug that's often used to boost testosterone levels after someone cycles off of steroids - it's the same thing Brock Lesnar failed for, and actually, the same thing that Jon Jones's infamous "dick pills" were tainted with. Anyway, Sullivan has claimed he's trying to have kids and is applying for a retroactive exemption, but given that clomiphene isn't apparently even FDA-approved, good luck with that. As for Abreu, I'm just impressed, since the Brazilian middleweight was already under suspension until the summer of 2018 and I guess just didn't realize he could still be tested. And we got one more failure this past week, as Texan heavyweight Justin Ledet was quietly pulled from this Houston card after popping for something yet to be disclosed. And lastly, Brazilian lightweight Felipe Olivieri has been sentenced to a two-year suspension for a failed January 2016 drug test. ------ BOOKINGS: *Some really interesting fights got booked, but no really big fights, save the rumors being confirmed that the Daniel Cormier/Anthony Johnson rematch for the light heavyweight title will in fact take place at UFC 210 in Buffalo this April. In a way, it's kind of amazing how this all worked out with Jon Jones on the shelf, since, well, Cormier stayed injured long enough that we never really had to dip into the well of whatever contenders UFC would have to create in such a thin division past Johnson. They also added three solid undercard bouts, though none figure to be on the main card - light heavyweights Patrick Cummins and Jan Blachowicz squaring off (and both are ranked, if you need more proof of 205 being a thin division), local featherweight Shane Burgos taking on Boston's Charles Rosa, and an interesting fight between bantamweight prospects Katlyn Chookagian and Irene Aldana. *UFC keeps adding fights to the March card in Fortaleza, Brazil, and it's looking like by far the best TV card of the first half of 2016. There was already some interesting stuff on it, but we get two more good fights, with lightweights Francisco Trinaldo and Kevin Lee squaring off, as well as a UFC 207 rematch between Tim Means and Alex "Cowboy" Oliveira. I feel a bit bad for Trinaldo, since at 38, time is running out, and despite a seven-fight win streak, UFC hasn't really moved up the ladder, but a bout against Lee, one of the division's top young prospects, should be an excellent affair. And the Means/Oliveira fight in December was really fun while it lasted, until Means hit a controversial illegal knee that got the fight turned into a no contest. Add in two more decent undercard fights, with welterweights Sergio Moraes and Max Griffin, as well as featherweights Godofredo Pepey and Kyle Bochniak, and the card's looking like a good one. *So, UFC kind of pissed off their British fanbase, as tickets went on sale for the upcoming London card without an announced main event, and then UFC just decided to promote the already-announced light heavyweight bout between Jimi Manuwa and Corey Anderson to that spot after the fact. Reportedly, the initial plan was Alexander Gustafsson against Ryan Bader, but Gustafsson is hurt and Bader is not yet back under contract, so UFC just went with this due to a lack of other options. I also heard some stuff that Anthony Pettis against Mairbek Taisumov, a fight that Joe Rogan dropped sometime around UFC 207, was slated for this card, but it's unclear what's going on there, since Taisumov has been agitating on social media for Pettis to go ahead and sign a contract. Maybe that'll be your co-main event, as there's not really a viable one at the moment and the card still has one or two open spots for fights. *Speaking of disappointing cards, UFC 208, which was initially an exciting card on paper despite a pretty bad main event marquee-wise, is slowly continuing to get gutted. Three more fighters are off the card - flyweight Neil Seery was forced off due to the death of his mother-in-law, and heavyweight Luis Henrique wasn't cleared to fight following eye surgery for his nearsightedness, so into the fray step two UFC newcomers - Jarred Brooks steps in to fight Ian McCall, and Justin Willis steps in to fight Marcin Tybura. Alright then. And as mentioned above, welterweight George Sullivan is also off this card due to a drug test failure, but it's unclear if UFC is still seeking a replacement to face Randy Brown, who really should stay on this card as an exciting local product. *And a few odds and ends - Rashad Evans will maybe, finally, make his debut at middleweight, and it looks to be a weird one, as he'll face Australian Dan Kelly at UFC 209 this March. Kelly's near forty with bad knees, but the decorated judoka still gets it done through sheer force of will and good old-fashioned dad strength, so it's actually a pretty solid test to see exactly what Evans has left, even if it's a bit concerning that it's come to this. And while UFC has yet to officially announce their second quarter schedule, two more events have already leaked out, as they're heading to Kansas City on April 15th, and making their promotional debut in Denmark, as UFC: Copenhagen is happening on May 27th. The broadcasts for each card haven't been announced, but the Kansas City date lines up to be a Fox card, and it already has its first fight, as Kansas City native Tim Elliott is apparently not heading to bantamweight after losing to Demetrious Johnson after all, and instead will face Louis Smolka at 125. And the Denmark card means that for the first time in a while, UFC will not be running a pay-per-view or a show in Vegas over Memorial Day weekend - and that card has a fight as well, as Danish heavyweight Christian Colombo will take on Polish vet Damian Grabowski in a fight between two guys in search of their first UFC win. ----- ROSTER CUTS: 1) Ali Bagautinov (15-6 overall, 4-3 UFC, last fought 11/19/16, L vs. Kyoji Horiguchi): UFC let two ranked flyweights walk this past week, and Bagautinov's the more surprising of the two, even if you could tell by his match placement that he was a bit out of favor. Bagautinov, a popular vet in his native Dagestan, made an impact pretty much immediately upon his UFC debut, going on a three-fight win streak that included one-sided wins over Tim Elliott and John Lineker and earning himself a title shot at Demetrious Johnson. Like everyone else, Bagautinov pretty much couldn't do anything with Johnson, and even worse, he failed a drug test afterwards, and that pretty much derailed the rest of his UFC career. Outside of a weird fight against prospect Geane Herrera that Bagautinov won, UFC pretty much used the Russian as a keep-busy fight against top contenders like Joseph Benavidez and Kyoji Horiguchi, and after going 1-2 post-drug suspension, I guess UFC figured he had outlived his usefulness. A shame, though, since losing a guy like Bagautinov (and Makovsky below) really does hurt the depth of UFC's flyweight division. 2) Zach Makovsky (19-8 overall, 3-4 UFC, last fought 12/10/16, L vs. Dustin Ortiz): Makovsky being let go is a damaging cut for the flyweight division, but it wasn't a surprising once, since most figured the fight between him and Ortiz was loser leaves town. Bellator surprisingly cut Makovsky in 2013 - he was the promotion's first bantamweight champion, and they let him go after only one loss following him dropping his belt - but he cut down to flyweight and caught on with UFC pretty quickly, earning wins over Scott Jorgensen and Josh Sampo. Makovsky was a decent all-around fighter, particularly in terms of wrestling, but the middle is a hard place to be in UFC's flyweight division. Essentially, you have a few scrubs, but outside of that, there's really no easy fights once you're a relevant fighter, and like Bagautinov, just kept racking up the losses even though they were against really good competition. 3) Aisling Daly (16-6 overall, 2-1 UFC, last fought 10/24/15, W vs. Ericka Almeida): Daly suddenly announced her retirement while in the midst of recovering from injury, as a scan of her brain apparently uncovered a hemorrhage she had suffered at some point while training, forcing a premature end to her career. Daly's probably a bit underrated as a pioneer, since the Irishwoman was one of the first female fighters to really make her name in Europe, and really the first Irish fighter to make a global name for themselves period, racking up a 9-0 record wherever she could find fights before a brief stint in Bellator. It may just be my heritage showing, but I've always liked Daly because she was just so, well, Irish - she suffered a three-fight losing streak in 2012 and then proceeded to take a year off to battle her issues with depression, and, well, it really doesn't get more Irish than that. Daly had a solid showing on season 20 of TUF and a solid showing in UFC thereafter thanks to her solid grappling game, and honestly, she probably got the best sendoff you could probably ask for, as she was the big Irish favorite on UFC's October 2015 card in Dublin, and the ovation both for her entrance and her subsequent win over Ericka Almeida was one of the highlights of the show. And even her postfight interview was just so...wonderfully touched with Irish bleakness, as the big McGregor/Brandao card with all her SBG teammates took place during her time in the house, and she likened watching it to seeing a child grow up and no longer being able to talk to them. Anyway, Daly seems at peace with the decision, and she'll go on as a grappling coach for SBG, so I wish her well. ----- UPCOMING UFC SHOWS: 2/11 - UFC 208 - Brooklyn, NY - Germaine de Randamie vs. Holly Holm, Derek Brunson vs. Anderson Silva 2/19 - UFC Fight Night 105 - Halifax, NS - Travis Browne vs. Derrick Lewis, Johny Hendricks vs. Hector Lombard 3/4 - UFC 209 - Las Vegas, NV - Tyron Woodley (c) vs. Stephen Thompson, Tony Ferguson vs. Khabib Nurmagomedov, Mark Hunt vs. Alistair Overeem 3/11 - UFC Fight Night 106 - Fortaleza, Brazil - Vitor Belfort vs. Kelvin Gastelum, Edson Barboza vs. Beneil Dariush, Mauricio Rua vs. Gian Villante 3/18 - UFC Fight Night 107 - London, England - Corey Anderson vs. Jimi Manuwa 4/8 - UFC 210 - Buffalo, NY - Daniel Cormier (c) vs. Anthony Johnson, Gegard Mousasi vs. Chris Weidman 4/15 - UFC TBA - Kansas City, MO - Tim Elliott vs. Louis Smolka 5/13 - UFC 211 - Dallas, TX - Stipe Miocic (c) vs. Junior dos Santos 5/27 - UFC TBA - Copenhagen, Denmark - Christian Colombo vs. Damian Grabowski ----- UFC Fight Night 104 - February 4, 2017 - Toyota Center - Houston, Texas 2017 has already seen UFC break with a few traditions - MLK weekend was in Phoenix instead of Boston, and here UFC breaks a streak of a few years, as the company is eschewing a pay-per-view over Super Bowl weekend in favor of a FS1 show in Houston, where the big game is taking place. And while this continues this year's trend of being somewhat low-wattage in terms of star power, it should be a hell of a show, as this is one of those cards where UFC has matched up a bunch of action fighters. Even past the headliner, which is the return of one of the better action fighters in recent history, "The Korean Zombie" Chan Sung Jung, there's a solid mix of prospects and just outright showcase performances that should make for a fun night of violence. Good stuff. MAIN CARD (Fox Sports 1 - 10:00 PM ET): Featherweight: (#9) Dennis Bermudez vs. Chan Sung Jung Women's Strawweight: (#12) Alexa Grasso vs. Felice Herrig Lightweight: Abel Trujillo vs. James Vick Light Heavyweight: (#6) Ovince St. Preux vs. Volkan Oezdemir Heavyweight: Marcel Fortuna vs. Anthony Hamilton Women's Strawweight: (#5) Jessica Andrade vs. Angela Hill PRELIMINARY CARD (Fox Sports 1 - 8:00 PM ET): Heavyweight: Curtis Blaydes vs. Adam Milstead Featherweight: Chris Gruetzemacher vs. Chas Skelly Bantamweight: Ricardo Ramos vs. Michinori Tanaka Women's Strawweight: (#6) Tecia Torres vs. Bec Rawlings PRELIMINARY CARD (UFC Fight Pass - 7:00 PM ET): Welterweight: Alex Morono vs. Niko Price Light Heavyweight: Daniel Jolly vs. Khalil Rountree THE RUNDOWN: Dennis Bermudez (16-5 overall, 9-3 UFC) vs. Chan Sung Jung (13-4 overall, 3-1 UFC, 0-2 WEC): It's been about three and a half years, but finally the day has come. "The Korean Zombie" is back. Chan Sung Jung became a bit of a phenomenon within the MMA bubble back in 2010 - he made his stateside debut in the featured prelim of WEC's lone pay-per-view and wound up having one of the best MMA fights of all time against Leonard Garcia, an absolute war that Jung lost in what was considered a bit of a robbery. But between the all-out action style of Jung and the fact that he has one of the best MMA nicknames of all time, the legend of "The Korean Zombie" was born, and Zuffa had a bit of a minor star on their hands. After surprisingly losing via knockout to George Roop in his only other WEC fight, Jung picked up where he left off with UFC - almost literally in fact, since UFC decided to rematch him with Garcia in a fight that wasn't quite as great as the first, but did give us the first and only twister submission in UFC history, as Jung basically tied Garcia into a pretzel. And then Jung made history a few more times, first knocking out Mark Hominick in just seven seconds to tie the fastest knockout in UFC history, and then putting on the consensus 2012 fight of the year in a war over Dustin Poirier. Despite a year-long injury layoff after that fight, Jung's notoriety still earned him a title shot at Jose Aldo, although he wasn't really able to do much with the champ, eventually losing in the fourth round after badly dislocating his shoulder. And just as Jung was ready to return, he was forced to serve his mandatory two years in the Korean military, resulting in this 42-month layoff. And UFC isn't really doing Jung any favors in his comeback, as while this should be a fun fight (hell, of course it should be, it's a Chan Sung Jung fight), Dennis Bermudez is a dangerous fringe contender. Bermudez looked to be close to a title shot by mid-2014, as he capped off a seven-fight win streak with a submission over Clay Guida, but once he got moved into the ranks of true contenders, some defensive holes became apparent. Ricardo Lamas handled Bermudez rather easily, stunning him with a jab before jumping onto a submission, and Bermudez was winning a fight with Jeremy Stephens rather handily before Stephens uncorked a beautiful flying knee from out of nowhere that gave him a sudden comeback win. It doesn't seem to be a case of Bermudez having a glass jaw so much as just defensive unawareness, but at any rate, Bermudez has since chosen to play it a bit safer, relying on his wrestling to beat Tatsuya Kawajiri and Rony Jason, though the latter did have some success with his submission game. As far as the fight goes, it's absolutely fascinating, particularly since Jung is such a question mark. Going back over his last few fights, I got reminded of exactly how dangerous Jung is a grappler - at least in my mind, the first thing that pops into my head for "The Korean Zombie" is back and forth striking wars, but particularly the Poirier fight showed that Jung is a dangerous, creative guy on the ground, and that the risky offense doesn't stop once the Zombie is on his back. So that makes it a really tricky fight for Bermudez - the two striking back and forth would probably spark into a crazy war that could go either way, but Bermudez relying on his theoretically safer wrestling game might not be all that safe, particularly since Bermudez has shown that he can be caught defensively unaware on the ground as well. Still, I kind of have to favor Bermudez to take this by decision, just because of the uncertainty around Jung - and while it does look like a lot of his game will still translate into the current landscape, there's just the fact that we haven't seen Jung fight since mid-2013, and things have changed a hell of a lot since then. But it should be a fun one - again, it's a Chan Sung Jung fight, and Bermudez has enough defensive flaws that Jung suddenly changing the momentum and getting a win wouldn't be a surprise. Alexa Grasso (9-0 overall, 1-0 UFC, 4-0 Invicta) vs. Felice Herrig (11-6 overall, 2-1 UFC, 0-1 Invicta, 3-0 Bellator): Even though it's honestly probably the third-most relevant of three strawweight fights on this card in terms of pure sport, the positioning shows that UFC is fully behind Alexa Grasso, and it's hard to blame them. Grasso has the looks, personality and skill to be one of UFC's big Mexican stars, and they're pretty much dusting off the Paige VanZant playbook in order to promote her, right down to making her second UFC fight against Felice Herrig. Grasso immediately became a prospect to watch upon her Invicta debut in 2014, and she's done nothing to dissuade that, putting on a fight of the year contender in 2015 against Mizuki Inoue and pretty much dominating all her competition. Grasso comes from a boxing family, and that's where she excels, possessing an excellent sense of distance and combinations, and after an injury layoff, she returned in 2016 and even showed off a bit of wrestling skill, shutting down Jodie Isquibel's wrestling game and imposing her own a bit. After a bit of a showcase bout in her UFC debut over Heather Jo Clark, Grasso now faces Herrig, who's strictly in the gatekeeper role, but might be Grasso's toughest test yet. Herrig's more known for her personality than anything - in the days when strawweight was still getting off the ground, Herrig made a bit of a name for herself by wearing provocative clothing and all sorts of weird outfits, and her stint on TUF 20 established her as a bit of a motor-mouth (which, having met her, I can also confirm was not editing) - but as far as in the cage, she's a solid, game wrestler-slash-grappler. That combination of skills made her a perfect stepping stone for VanZant, and essentially the same for Grasso here, but against lower-level foes like Lisa Ellis and Kailin Curran, Herrig has been able to latch on a submission without much trouble. This figures to be another Grasso showcase, so I'll pick her to win by decision, though there's the chance she gets so much momentum going on the feet that the referee steps in and stops it late, but there is the caveat that Herrig is probably the best grappler Grasso has faced, so there's a chance that if Grasso turns out to be awful on the ground, that gets exposed here. But still, I'm fairly comfortable picking the potential Mexican star. Abel Trujillo (15-6 [1] overall, 6-2 [1] UFC) vs. James Vick (9-1 overall, 5-1 UFC): This fight was thrown together after both men's original opponents got hurt, and it kind of shows, since this is a weird one. Abel Trujillo's carved out a bit of a niche as a berserker of an action fighter, but it's still hard to root for him, given that he has a fairly distressing history of domestic violence. As far as in the cage goes, Trujillo's seemingly learned to pace himself, as he initially had the rep of being strong for one round before gassing out, but he's still one of the purest examples of the "bully" mentality in MMA. Essentially, when Trujillo has the advantage, he's absolutely frightening, an explosive power puncher and takedown artist that's capable of scoring the finish at any moment. But when things don't go Trujillo's way, he has a bad tendency to cave in, and when guys like Tony Ferguson and Gleison Tibau have gotten the advantage, Trujillo has just sort of panicked and looked for a way out. So Trujillo's a fairly boom-and-bust fighter, and adding to the potential variance of this fight is that, even after almost five years in the UFC, it's still unclear how good James Vick is. The Texan came out of nowhere to make the semifinals of TUF 15 before falling to Michael Chiesa, and looked like an interesting prospect, thanks to his ridiculously long and tall frame for lightweight - Vick is 6'3", and as an example, he'll have a seven-inch height and six-inch reach advantage over Trujillo. But Vick's career settled into a weird pattern - for one thing, he'd often get hurt and have to spend a year between fights, and even though he racked up wins, UFC just never really did anything with him, just matching him against rising, unproven prospects. I forget exactly where I heard the analogy (I believe it was from Connor Reubusch, who does some good work breaking down the technical aspects of MMA), but it was like Vick wasn't moving up the ladder, but instead just sort of hiding behind the ladder and shoving other people off as they tried to move up themselves. But after derailing another prospect, in this case Glaico Franca, Vick finally got a legit fight in a late-notice bout against Beneil Dariush, and, well, he pretty much got smoked, as Dariush outboxed him and eventually knocked him out in brutal fashion. But, then again, Dariush is looking like a fringe title contender at the moment, so there's still a wide range as far as where Vick stands in the lightweight division. So, yeah, anything could happen here, but I'm picking Trujillo by decision, since I'm not exactly Vick will be able to deal with Trujillo's aggression and physicality enough to turn the tide. That said, Vick could just keep Trujillo at a distance and pick him apart, or, and this may be even more likely, I could see Vick continuing his trend of accidentally poking his opponents in the eyes, and that being enough to demoralize Trujillo and give Vick the advantage. But I'll stick with Trujillo by decision as my pick, though this is one of those bouts that is more or less a coin flip. Ovince St. Preux (19-9 overall, 7-4 UFC, 6-1 Strikeforce) vs. Volkan Oezdemir (12-1 overall, 1-1 Bellator): Well, light heavyweight needs bodies, and I guess we're going to continue to try with Ovince St. Preux, as this figured to be a bounce-back win against a late injury replacement. St. Preux was an interesting prospect for a while - a former linebacker for the University of Tennessee, St. Preux is a top-flight athlete, and Strikeforce and UFC both just let him move slowly up the ladder and rack up showcase wins. St. Preux chose to remain involved with the University of Tennessee community, continuing to train in Knoxville rather than seek out a bigger camp, and the result has been St. Preux developing a weird game, built around unorthodox striking and strange submissions where it all kind of works thanks to St. Preux's athleticism, but doesn't really fit together in any sort of cogent way. And that's gotten exploited badly as St. Preux has faced upper-level competition - outside of a quick knockout of Shogun Rua, most of St. Preux's big fights have been one-sided losses - Ryan Bader and Glover Teixeira just schooled him with grappling, Jon Jones treated him as a glorified sparring partner, and Jimi Manuwa put his lights out in October. It's probably time to move on from any thoughts of St. Preux becoming a top-flight fighter anymore, particularly since he's about to turn 34, and his athleticism-dependent style may go downhill quickly as he ages, but light heavyweight is also a thin enough division that OSP is probably going to remain a concern one way or another. Anyway, he faces Volkan Oezdemir, who becomes UFC's first Swiss fighter - Oezdemir apparently has a background in muay thai, but the fights that I've watched have seen him focus on taking his opponents down, where he's aggressive, but has trouble keeping his foes on the mat once he has them there. There's a chance Oezdemir can still do something with that - St. Preux, again, just sort of relies on his athleticism to get up after he's taken down and leaves some holes in doing so - but I just really don't see anything from Oezdemir that suggests he can compete with St. Preux's athleticism and power, unless St. Preux is hitting the decline phase even moreso than it looks like. I'll call for St. Preux to get a first-round knockout, but if he doesn't, this could be a bit of a slog. Marcel Fortuna (8-1 overall) vs. Anthony Hamilton (15-6 overall, 3-4 UFC): This is certainly happening. In a heavyweight division where everyone is pretty much either a contender by default or just hot garbage, Anthony Hamilton seems to be one of the few who's just sort of a guy. He's just a really physically big dude who can do a little bit of everything, and his UFC record places him squarely as a middle-of-the-road gatekeeper - he's had no problem with lower-level guys like Ruan Potts and Damian Grabowski who just aren't at a UFC level, but anyone decent has beaten him, including Francis Ngannou, who tapped him out in his last fight. This was a really late addition to the card, so Hamilton is facing UFC newcomer and inflated light heavyweight Marcel Fortuna, a Brazilian who trains out of California. Fortuna hasn't fought in about a year and a half, as his only MMA action of 2016 was trying out for the Jedrzejczyk/Gadelha season of The Ultimate Fighter, where he lost a close decision to Cory Hendricks before even getting into the house. I'm a little surprised UFC didn't at least wait for Fortuna to win a fight or two somewhere else before taking him on, but I can see what they liked looking at film, since Fortuna has a BJJ background and looks pretty solid as a wrestler/grappler against a middling slate of competition. But I don't really think he can do much here - Fortuna's game is extremely one-dimensional, and he had trouble even taking down Hendricks with Hendricks's size and athleticism. And while Hamilton may not be quite as athletic, he's a much, much bigger dude than the 205ers (and some converted middleweights) that Fortuna was having success against on the regional scene. I have no idea how good Fortuna's chin is, but I figure he'll be overwhelmed here, and I'll just call for Hamilton to get the first-round knockout. Jessica Andrade (15-5 overall, 6-3 UFC) vs. Angela Hill (6-2 overall, 1-2 UFC, 4-0 Invicta): From a sporting standpoint, this is probably the most important fight on the show, since Jessica Andrade is the assumed next contender for Joanna Jedrzejczyk's strawweight belt, and Angela Hill will be right there if she scores the upset in her UFC return. Andrade was somewhat mercurial during her time at bantamweight - she'd look dominant against overmatched competition and could seemingly do a bit of everything, but she'd suffer some bad losses, getting tapped out rather easily by Marion Reneau and Raquel Pennington. Strawweight didn't really seem like an option - even though Andrade was short for the division, she seemed to be too thickly muscled to cut much weight, but she took about nine months off to cut down to 115, and the results have been outstanding. Andrade has been an absolute powerhouse, overpowering Jessica Penne on the feet and just bulling Joanne Calderwood in the grappling game, looking like one of the most dangerous physical threats in the division. Meanwhile, Hill's had a weird path here, as I'm not exactly sure what the hell UFC was trying to do with her in her first stint with the promotion. Hill was part of the cast for TUF 20, which was a tournament to crown UFC's inaugural champion, even if she didn't really belong there - she was a 1-0 striker at the time, and while she showed some potential and some personality, it's hard not to see her inclusion as tokenism at worst or just TV execs wanting a marketable face on the show at best. And then, after a solid win over Emily Kagan, UFC pretty much threw her to the wolves, putting a 2-0 fighter against two of the top fighters in the division, as Tecia Torres out-wrestled her and Rose Namajunas choked her out. And then UFC cut her, which really was a bad look, since it looked like they had pretty much failed in developing what could've been a marketable, exciting prospect. But Hill landed in Invicta quickly thereafter and had a breakout 2016, going 4-0, showing greatly improved grappling defense, and taking Invicta's strawweight belt from Livia Renata Souza, who was looking like the next big thing at 115. After one title defense, Hill re-signed with UFC, and after some issues with her getting cleared to return by USADA, her fight with Andrade gets moved from UFC 207 to here. It should be an interesting one, though I favor Andrade pretty handily - the big story is going to be more how much Hill's improvements shine through rather than expecting her to win. I always think of Hill as taller and rangier than she actually is (maybe it's the hair, although she's gone with a close fade for this fight), but she'll still have that advantage on the stout Andrade, so I could see Hill having some success picking her apart at range. But I'm not really sure how Hill will handle Andrade's power if she's able to get through, and the grappling game favors Andrade hugely - while Hill's takedown and submission defense is much improved, she still had to do a lot of work against Souza, and Andrade is a complete powerhouse compared to Souza. So it may come with some difficulty, but I see Andrade eventually taking things to the ground and dominating from there, enough so that I'll call for a second-round submission. Curtis Blaydes (6-1 overall, 1-1 UFC) vs. Adam Milstead (8-1 overall, 1-0 UFC): Yes, somehow, two heavyweight prospects that are each under thirty years old are squaring off. Adam Milstead's only a few months shy, but that still counts, and the Pittsburgh native is coming off a solid UFC debut in May, outboxing Chris De La Rocha en route to a referee stoppage. He'll face Illinois's Curtis Blaydes, who came into UFC with a decent amount of hype thanks to his size and strong wrestling background, but ran into Francis Ngannou in his UFC debut before rebounding in October with a win over Cody East. Both guys are promising - Blaydes in particular is just a beast of a man, one of those guys who actually needs to cut to make heavyweight, and even his fairly one-sided loss to Ngannou looks impressive, since he had some success getting Ngannou to the ground, if not keeping him there. Honestly, this may be a weird comparison, but I see this similarly to the Andrade/Hill fight on the complete opposite side of the size spectrum - while Milstead has a wrestling background, he's primarily been a boxer in his recent MMA fights, and should be able to have some success trading with Blaydes in the pocket. But I just don't see Milstead being able to handle Blaydes's physicality, and I figure Blaydes will be able to take things to the ground a solid percentage of the time and just maul Milstead from there. Both guys are still raw and improving, so the possibilities are a bit wide here, but I'll call for Blaydes to eventually ground-and-pound out Milstead sometime in the third round. Chris Gruetzemacher (13-1 overall, 1-0 UFC, 1-0 Strikeforce) vs. Chas Skelly (16-2 overall, 5-2 UFC, 3-0 Bellator): Sure. Chas Skelly has had a somewhat underrated UFC career thus far - he's a bit older than you'd think, since he'll probably be 32 by his next fight, but he's one of the better grinders out there, and opens things up enough that he scores the occasional submission. Despite being the betting favorite for some reason, he lost pretty handily to Darren Elkins this past March, establishing that Skelly isn't king of the featherweight grinders just yet, but he rebounded in extremely unexpected fashion in a crazy fight against Maximo Blanco, as both men decided to start the fight with running, flying kicks, Skelly's hit cleaner, and Skelly subsequently locked on a choke to win in just nineteen seconds. Crazy stuff. Skelly returns to his home state of Texas to face Arizona's Chris Gruetzemacher, who's a solid wrestle-boxer. Gruetzemacher had a decent run on the McGregor/Faber season of TUF in late 2015, won a fight over castmate Abner Lloveras to stay on the roster, and returns here after missing all of 2016. Gruetzemacher is fine at everything, but it's hard to see where he stands out - he could stick around if he just gets matched with the right lower-level guys coming off losses, but he really does seem like one of those fighters who can have a ton of success on the smaller circuits, but will struggle against UFC-level fighters. At any rate, unless Gruetzemacher has improved greatly in his year off, this seems like a pretty one-sided win for Skelly, so I'll call for him to just out-wrestle "Gritz" and earn a one-sided decision, with a chance of him getting a submission at some point. Ricardo Ramos (9-1 overall) vs. Michinori Tanaka (11-2 overall, 2-2 UFC): This is an interesting first UFC fight for Ricardo Ramos, who comes into UFC with a bunch of hype, and deservedly so. Ramos is just twenty-one years old, but he's put together an excellent resume thus far, racking up win after win thanks to an exciting submission game, reminiscent of Charles Oliveira, where he just chains together techniques until he finds one his opponent isn't able to stop. That said, Ramos has already flown a little too close to the sun, as Manny Vazquez was able to reverse things on him and tap him out for his lone career loss, but between his submission skills, his long frame, and some pretty decent striking already, the sky is pretty much the limit for Ramos. He debuts against Michinori Tanaka, who's one of the better Japanese prospects of the recent wave that came into UFC. Tanaka's a strong athlete, a solid submission artist, and has some solid, movement-based striking - the type of overall package that doesn't really stick out, but should be enough to keep Tanaka around in UFC for a bit while trading wins and losses. This could really go either way - Ramos obviously has a high ceiling, and it's just a matter of if it's too much, too soon at the moment. I'll roll with the top prospect and say Ramos racks up another first round submission, but if he's not able to do much against Tanaka, that's perfectly fine, since the long-term outlook is still so good. Tecia Torres (7-1 overall, 3-1 UFC, 4-0 Invicta) vs. Bec Rawlings (7-5 overall, 2-2 UFC, 1-2 Invicta): Part of me still thinks the UFC dropped the ball a bit when it comes to Tecia Torres, even if I understand why they don't really seem to be enthralled with pushing her as a top contender. When Torres came onto the scene in Invicta back in 2012, she looked like a future star - "The Tiny Tornado" was a particularly apt nickname, as Torres would just mix in her wrestling with a vast array of spinning strikes; add in the fact that she was a cute Latina, and she really did look like someone UFC could build around whenever they introduced strawweights. But things never really clicked - Torres has always been held in high regard, but as she's gotten better as a fighter, she's also gotten much more conservative, relying on her wrestling and grinding clinchwork in a lot of fights, and replacing that exciting, but reckless, striking game with more steady kickboxing. Wins over Angela Hill and Jocelyn Jones-Lybarger were pretty unmemorable and didn't do her many favors, and a narrow loss to Rose Namajunas last April left Torres out of the title picture, and she's apparently had trouble getting a fight booked since. But she returns here after about ten months to fight Bec Rawlings, in a rematch of a Torres win on season 20 of TUF. Rawlings came into Invicta with a splash based off a solid record in her native Australia and a strong social media presence, but it soon became apparent that she wasn't really up to snuff as a title contender for the promotion. But she's eventually settled into a solid mid-card niche, as she's a decent, fun striker with just enough grappling to get by. Still, this is pretty much a keep-busy rebound win for Torres, as she's probably the better striker and should always have her wrestling to fall back on. Rawlings being big for the division while Torres is so small could be a concern, but Torres is always so undersized, and it hasn't really hampered her yet, so the call is Torres by fairly one-sided decision. Alex Morono (13-3 overall, 2-0 UFC) vs. Niko Price (9-0 overall, 1-0 UFC): This should be a pretty fun welterweight fight, as both guys have put on solid performances in their UFC careers thus far, and we're still figuring out exactly what both have to offer. Alex Morono probably didn't deserve the upset division win over Kyle Noke in his UFC debut, but he at least made good the second time around with a one-sided win over James Moontasri. Morono seems to be a solid striker and that's about it, though when he starts smelling blood, like he did in the Moontasri fight, his gameplan does tend to shift towards "start winging punches." Morono, a Houston native, is fighting on a pretty quick seven-week turnaround, though his opponent, Florida's Niko Price, is fighting on just five weeks notice himself. Price made his UFC debut on the Nunes/Rousey card, tapping out Brandon Thatch, and looked like a pretty solid, aggressive athlete - with the caveat that at this point, exploiting Thatch's ground game doesn't really seem to be clearing a high bar. Anyway, this is basically a coin flip fight, and I'll favor Price by decision, if only because Morono's wrestling game seems pretty untested itself, and Price has at least shown that much. But this could be a fun one, since both guys seem to fight quite aggressively. Daniel Jolly (5-1 overall, 0-1 UFC) vs. Khalil Rountree (4-2 overall, 0-2 UFC): Okay, so I assume this has to be the last chance for Khalil Rountree, at least in the UFC. When the cast for TUF 23 was announced, the two big favorites were Rountree and Phil Hawes, two middleweights (although the season was at 205) who were considered among the best prospects in MMA at any weight class. And while Rountree has done better than Hawes (who didn't even make it into the house, and was last seen getting tapped out in WSOF), the Las Vegas native has still been a huge disappointment. Rountree did make it to the final of the season, but Andrew Sanchez wound up making him look awful once he got there, taking Rountree down at will; things went badly enough that you could hear Rountree's mother in the crowd, telling her son to get up. After that, Rountree was matched against debuting Australian Tyson Pedro, and it was more or less the same story - Rountree rocked Pedro with his trademark striking power, but Pedro just shot for a takedown and it was pretty much all over from there, as Pedro eventually worked his way to a first-round submission. Rountree's a powerhouse of a fighter, and as TUF showed, when he's on, it's awesome, since he hits like a truck, but the lack of takedown defense and complete lack of improvement is making him look like a bust thus far in his UFC career. So, hopefully third time's the charm against "The Werewolf of Texas" Daniel Jolly, who's primarily a wrestler and a ground-and-pound artist. That made for a horrible matchup in his UFC debut against Misha Cirkunov back in August of 2015, as Cirkunov's own strength is his high level judo game, so Jolly just had no answers for the Latvian prospect. And, well, frankly, given how disadvantageous that style matchup was, he couldn't ask for a more advantageous rebound here. I'm going to go with my heart a bit and pick Rountree to finally get on track and score a first-round knockout, but I'm probably wrong in doing so, since Jolly can wrestle, and once he gets that first takedown, this might be a wrap.