#(YES obviously fiction isn't reality & this isn't the end all be all of activism but WE GOTTA FIX THE LITTLE STUFF TO CHANGE THE BIG STUFF) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

synf3ll · 9 months

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unpopular opinion, apparently, but it is so rude and unnecessary to say that people who consider their F/Os important in their lives are stupid and need to get other hobbies.

recently, a poll went around that asked about whether or not having an F/O is considered cheating to an IRL partner. the poll in-and-of itself is completely fine and respectful, but some of a lot of the notes on it were very disrespectful.

(everyone in this post being used as examples has their usernames cropped out -- they do not deserve direct harrassment, please do not go seeking them out. i don't mean to single out these people specifically, i am only using their comments because i remembered them and feel they're good representations of a larger problem.)

these comments come from a different post which was influenced by the poll i mentioned:

(do i need to explain why calling this sort of mindset "insane" is inappropriate lol)

it is not your place to tell someone where their F/O stands in their life. if, to them, a partners' attraction towards fictional characters feels inappropriate, it is their right to discuss it with their partner and work it out. if someone wants to avoid certain people because they believe their friends would be uncomfortable, it's not your job to tell them they can't do that.

maybe it's ridiculous to you. i can understand how that might be. but some of us have worse social difficulties than you -- personally, i don't have friends. i don't have family. of course my F/O is the most important person in my life; i don't have anyone but them. yes, it's fucking pathetic, but you are not my therapist. who do you think you are to tell people they need to get a life? don't you think i (and people like me) have been trying?

do you not remember that this is a coping skill for some people? obviously, escapism is not the best coping mechanism as it encourages disconnection with reality in vulnerable people, but there's far worse things to use as coping mechanisms. it's only a "not appropriate" coping mechanism when it is directly harming other people -- taking selfshipping seriously does not harm other people. (i guess one could argue it might harm the user, but we all know what the consequences might be and actively choose to continue, so we accept responsibility for whatever happens.)

all of this feels very anti-fictosexual and anti-aspec. sorry we'd rather be in fictional relationships than real ones? and i do agree that it's over-the-top to end relationships solely because of this, but again, it's not our place to decide that for other people.

and i'd argue it's borderline ableist to insist we need to drop fictional characters for real people. i've been trying in the best way i know how, but i still can't form relationships. maybe it's the autism, maybe it's the attachment disorder, but people just don't like me and i don't like them. i turned to fictional relationships because i was tired of putting everything into real relationships and getting nothing in return. it's less exhausting, caring for someone who isn't real, than caring for people who have the potential to care for you and still don't. it's easy for people to say stuff like this when they have IRL relationships to fall back on.

it is fine and okay for people to have different levels of importance in regards to their F/Os. some people are very casual about selfshipping, some are not. that's how it is with literally everything. not everything is important to everyone and that's fine and good, but you don't get to be an asshole to people who have different opinions about it.

#selfship #self ship #self ship community #discourse #fictosexual #fictoromantic #og

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bookmovienerd · 3 years

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I don't care who or where you are stop scrolling and read this

If that worked and I got your attention, hello. Welcome.

So I am shocking late boarding this particular train, but BOY am I in no hurry to jump off. At all. Anyway, I just finished this and I need to ramble before I EXPLODE in a mess of feels and repressed adoration and that would be sad. For me. You, the person reading this, probably wouldn't know if I exploded or not....

Anyway!

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue - V. E. Schwab

Jesus on a jet ski this book is fucking delicioussss!!!!!!!

Partly because it's a written work of precious art, but partly because the cover is a literal work of art-

And if that isn't enough then JUST LOOK at the inside canvas cover of my Waterstones copy!!

Absolutely flawlessly stunning, right?!?! If 'no': please re-evaluate your choice ;)

"Joyous," Neil Gaiman said on the front of my copy. Joyous? JOYOUS?!?!?! Understatement of the CENTURY

The English language can't come up with a word sufficient to describe this book. The closest one I've found is:

Masterpiece...

Now, I will admit, it took me a while to properly get into this book - though that was primarily because of things in real life that were stressing me out (who isn't dealing with that stuff right now though am I right?). But I do think that this book is slow and zen and chill; it's part of its charm... You could curl up quite comfortably on a lazy Sunday afternoon and just get completely, mercifully lost I someone else's life and that, to me, is exactly what a book should do. It isn't fast-paced, no - it's a book that you fall in love with "slowly, and then all at once" ~ John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Spoiler-free Reasons to Love This Book

(obviously you're well within your rights to disagree with me, but I'm not sure why you're still reading this post if you didn't like the book...)

Badass female lead (and yes sometimes it is only quietly rebellious but I love her all the same)

Henry Strauss is a precious smol bean and I would sell my SOUL (get it? Haha) to meet him

He works in a bookstore. There is a cat that lives there. The cays cat's name is Book. It's fabulous and I love it

Luc - I'm genuinely torn between hating and slightly pitying him. I start to feel sympathy towards him and then I remember he's awful and I just sort of love to hate him... Although I think he's such a complex character I would definitely be prepared to read a book solely from his point of view about life and humans and art and war and love and promises and places. I think it would be so insightful and interesting (*wink wink*) (did you catch my not-so-subtle request for another Schwab book??? *wiggles eyebrows*)

This book is extremely descriptive. But done in such a way that it fits with the narrator and it doesn't feel condescending or patronising which I feel is sometimes the risk with overly descriptive books. They either are done really well and I love them or I want to throw the book across the room and go find a dictionary. There's no in between. Thankfully, this belongs to the first category

Personally, I walk through life and see potential stories in everything I see, so I thought it was really nice and uniquely relatable to read from Addie's perspective because she just sees beauty and art in everything and I thought it was fascinating

Following that, between each Part, there was sort of a divider that had a piece of artwork connected to the story in each section and I thought it was really cleverly done and actually really interesting to read about the (disappointingly fictional) artworks etc I've never seen something like that before....

This book feels and is timeless. I will love this even when I am old and grey and stooped and that is just a fact

In the acknowledgements, Schwab mentions loving and being devoted entirely to her stories and I think it really shows - in all her work - but particularly this. It seems to have been made carefully and delicately, like she was actively trying to do what was right by her characters and I love it when you can tell that a book is precious to author as well as audience

Finally: the ENDING! I said no spoilers, and I stand by that. All I will say: it's sort of like Crooked Kingdom (Leigh Bardugo). It doesn't end completely and resolutely, but it ends in the perfect place for the story Schwab told and I thought it was bloody excellent

Bonus: this whole book reminds me of the song Pierre - Ryn Weaver - (AWESOME song) and that completely unrelated thought I had definitely made me like the book more

So like I'm no longer at risk of exploding. If you're still here, thank you! If not... Well. Bye? Not that you'll see this but whatever.

And if you've read it please, please talk to me, I am by no means finished gushing about this book. But also: RECOMMEND IT! To anyone who will listen to you long enough for you to have chance. Because this book is a perfect escape from reality and anyone who doesn't get to read about Addie and her life is definitely missing something magical, they just don't know it yet...

#v e schwab #victoria schwab #Addie LaRue #The invisible life of addie larue #i remember you #henry strauss #ryn weaver #carry on rainbow rowell #john green #the fault in our stars #book dragon #love this book #I dont know what to do now #halp #book hangover #books!

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