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itgetsdark-x · 1 year

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I Wanna See You Beggin’ (Part 4)

Summary: Joel Miller is your dad’s best friend, you knew it was wrong, you knew it would only cause trouble but you couldn’t help the way you ached for the man. (Part One | Part Two | Part Three)

Disclaimers: (Title is from I Hate Myself for Loving You — Joan Jett & The Blackhearts), I do not own any of these characters / people but I did write these words, I don’t give permission for this to be copied anywhere else 😌

Characters: dbf!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Word Count: 7.3k

Warnings: 18+ (minors dni, pls), unprotected p in v (pls be responsible and wrap before u tap), mild violence / swearing / general angst, age gap (reader mid twenties, Joel would be late 40s), no outbreak in this au.

A/N: woweeee, I am still blown away by the interest in my dumb writing! thank you for all the reblogs / likes / comments and thank you for your patience whilst I got my act together and wrote this fourth part! I feel like it sucks, if it does, I’m so sorry! I think I have one more part in me, with this series which would include a small time jump to finish it off. if people are interested, I will definitely write it. enjoy and I hope it makes y’all happy, finally hehehe. love u all <3

“Y/N?” Your dad called louder this time and you slapped Joel as you jolted awake, your fist hit his chest and he spluttered as he awoke from his deep sleep.

“Fuck, shit. Fuck. Joel, get up, get the fuck up and get dressed.” You hissed and Joel sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. You immediately went into action and pulled your pyjamas on hastily, your shirt was inside out and you almost fell over as you stumbled down your stairs to answer the front door.

“M-morning dad, you woke me up.” You mumbled, your voice panicked. “What’re you doing here, are you okay?” You lied as he entered your hallway.

You could sense it, your dad was pissed, he rarely ever got angry but whenever he did, you knew it immediately.

“Well uh, I went to Joel’s house to pick him up but it was weird, his truck wasn’t on his drive nor was he actually home. I shrugged it off and assumed it was just ‘cause he went to site by himself so imagine my surprise, sweet pea, when I drive past here and see his truck parked up out the front of your house.” Your dad spoke and you could feel the annoyance, his eyes were scanning the area, looking behind you to see if he could spot Joel. “You wanna tell me why it is exactly that his truck is out front?”

“Look, I, um. We, uh, fuck.” You cursed and your cheeks flushed a deep red as you shifted awkwardly on the spot, your brain not moving nearly fast enough to come up with a convincing lie.

“Just… Where is he?” Your dad asked and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“M-my bedroom…” You answered quietly. “B-but it’s not what you think!” You called after your dad as he didn’t hesitate to climb your stairs quickly.

“Miller,” Your dad barked and your stomach flipped, you felt sweaty and sick. “What. The. Fuck have you been doin’ with my little girl?” He shouted and slammed your bedroom door open, you followed your dad and tried to grab his arm back and take him downstairs. “Get downstairs, right now.” Your dad hissed at you.

Joel was stood in your bedroom, he had pulled his boxers and shirt on and was just trying to button up his jeans. It was clear as day; entirely evident what had been happening here; it was written over both of your faces and the fact Joel’s shirt and jeans were unbuttoned only supplied further, concrete proof to your dad.

You dad lurched at Joel, his forearm pinned the older male against the wall as he pushed his arm across Joel’s chest and without thinking for another second, your dad planted a hard punch to Joel’s face. You heard a sickening crunch and you winced before you leapt into the room and tried to peel your dad’s frame off of Joel’s.

“I told you to fucking go downstairs. Go.” Your dad barked and you flinched away from him, that seemed to soften your dad’s eyes ever so slightly but the rage soon built once again as Joel spoke.

“I’m sorry, bud. It’s not what you think. I haven’t been preying on her, I care about her. A lot.” Joel spoke, trying to calm your father down. “Can we please sit down and talk about this?”

“So you haven’t been fucking her then?” Your dad spat and it made the guilt in your stomach bubble ferociously.

“Dad.” You whispered. “I’m a woman, I can choose whom I have relationships with. You don’t get to decide that.” Your voice shook as you looked at Joel, you wanted to take him into your arms and stroke his hair, just do anything to soothe him. He dabbed at his nose with his sleeve as blood soaked it and your stomach turned again.

“So you decide to fuck my best friend, a man older than your own father? Like a cheap whore.” He spat at you and you felt tears prick your eyes before they fell silently down your cheeks.

Joel pushed your father off him, whilst he was turned to look at you and he grunted with the effort.

“You don’t get to speak to her like that.” Joel shouted, squaring his large shoulder up to your dad.

Your dad laughed, it was dark and fuelled by anger. “Yeah, well, you don’t get to tell me how to do shit. You’ve lost that privilege.”

“I know you’re upset, dad and I’m really sorry, I didn’t want this to happen, not like this… b-but, but I really like Joel.” You spoke quietly as you steadied your panicked breathing.

Joel looked at you with a soft smile as he mopped up the last of his blood that was staining his moustache. His eyes were soft as he looked at you and he felt such pride that you would even stick up for him to your dad. He knew your dad’s anger was justified which is why it was hard to argue his case.

“Look, I’ll take the day off work, I’ll go home and then maybe you could both come over this evening and we could talk about this, calmly. I know you’re angry, and trust me, I would be too. I am sorry you found out this way but I’m not sorry for this happening.” Joel’s voice was edged with coldness but he remained calm as he spoke to your dad.

“You can take everyday off, ‘bud’. You’re fired, so if I see your face around any of the sites, you’ll be a dead man. You had a kid, you should understand how fucked up this is. Maybe it’s for the best your daughter isn’t around.” You dad said heartlessly.

“Dad!” You gasped disappointedly.

Joel winced at your dad’s words and they cut deeper than any punch could.

“We will speak later. I’m sorry for yelling at you, sweet pea. It’s not your fault, he took advantage, you’re just a kid.” You dad whispered and he went to give you a kiss on the cheek but you flinched away from his touch.

“I’m a woman, I’m closer to thirty than I am to twenty, dad. I’m a fully grown woman. I’m sorry you found out this way but we’ll only be speaking if you’ll sit down with the two of us. Understand?” Your voice wobbled as you spoke and soon the tears were falling down your cheeks yet again.

Your dad threw his hands up in defeat and walked out of your room silently, the thick atmosphere of your room was shattered when the front door closed and you jumped.

The way your dad acted was entirely out of character, he usually never so much as raised his voice at anyone and especially not at you. He wasn’t an aggressive man, so the way he reacted truly shook you to your core.

“Joel,” you cried and went to hold his arm but he avoided your touch. “Joel please,” your voice was coming out as wrecked cries. “Please don’t shut me out, don’t let him get into your head like that. I’m sorry for what he said. He’s just angry and he didn’t think. I’m sorry.” You sobbed further and fell to your knees dramatically, you brought your arms around yourself and cried.

“Peach,” Joel whispered, his voice shaking also. You looked up at him and his eyes were blurry with tears and it only broke you further. “Your dad is right, I’ve been taking advantage and maybe we didn’t realise because we were blinded with the pure pleasure of it all.” He spoke and he knelt down to look you in the eyes.

You shook your head and wiped your eyes roughly to clear your vision. “N-no!” You shouted. “You don’t get to fuck me and then tell me you’re taking advantage.” You shouted and weakly punched at Joel’s arms in frustration. “You don’t get to do that.”

He winced as you took your frustrations out on him but he took it all. “I care about you, peach, a lot but… this is my life, I need that job.” He sighed as he took your flailing hands to hold them steady.

You tried to pull away from his grip with a whine of frustration as he only held you tighter. “Go then.” You stated coldly, tears still falling down your cheeks as you wiped them away in vein. “If the job means that much to you, go. Go apologise to my dad for ‘taking advantage’ of me, go tell him it was the wrong thing to do even though we both know that it’s a lie.” You cried, openly and blatantly now, you let the tears fall as your voice shook with effort.

Joel enveloped you in his arms, his hand stroked through your hair and he shushed you softly. “Baby girl, it’s okay.” He whispered into the top of your head and he closed his eyes. “It’s not as simple as that. I really care about you and fuck it, I guess part of me didn’t want to admit it, especially not this early on but clearly, I love you. I’ve cared about you for years, I just didn’t understand to what capacity. It’s just… I can’t let this ruin my life, or yours for that matter… If your dad says anything to anyone… I’ll be a wanted man, people will be furious with me.” He sighed.

His words cut through you like a hot knife through butter and it only seemed to make things worse. “I’m a woman!” You cried quietly, wiping your eyes again to try and clear them. “Why doesn’t anyone understand that? I’m a fully legal and consenting woman! I pay taxes!!” You laughed through a cry which caused Joel to chuckle above you.

“We knew we were crossing a very strong line when we slept together last Friday, we knew it would cause issues but we did it anyway. And I’m glad we did… it’s just, I think I need to go home and think about this all. You should think too, if we decide to pursue this further it might mean your old man won’t speak to you again…” Joel spoke quietly and released you from his arms.

“I —“ Your voice cracked and you took a deep, calming breath in to try to resume some composure. “I don’t need to think about this, Joel. I’ve wanted you for months, if not years, it’s actually kind of embarrassing. Sure, a lot of that lies in lust for you but I want you completely, I want to be yours. I- I want a future with you.” You mumbled the last part of your sentence.

Joel cringed internally at your words; it made his heart swell at your kindness, your sincerity in wanting a future with him but he couldn’t help but cringe at the fact you would give everything up for him. He didn’t feel worthy of it. He felt like a complete screw up.

“Peach,” his voice shook as you looked into his big, sad brown eyes. “You need your dad, he needs you, you know this. I can’t, I mean, I won’t let you throw that away on me.” He said sadly and slumped his back against the wall, creating some space between you both.

“Joel,” you said sternly. “If my father can’t get over this, then that is on him. He should care more for my happiness than the awkwardness of the situation. I understand that it’s a difficult thing for him but on our one date we have been on, you treated me so much better than any guy my age. You’re a gentleman, you’ve been nothing short of that.” You finalised.

“That’s sweet of you, baby girl. It is but, you need to be sure of this. It’ll get a whole lot more ugly before it gets better.” Joel sighed.

You pinched at the bridge of your nose, closed your eyes and sighed frustratedly. “God, I just don’t understand why it effects him so much?! You’ve known me for years, you wouldn’t hurt me! Surely that’s better than some stupid fuck boy my age just looking for a quick fuck and chuck.” You grumbled and Joel couldn’t help but laugh.

You shot a warning glare in his direction and he bit back another laugh. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He laughed and threw his hands up in surrender. “It’s just… You’re adorable when you’re grumpy. It’s not the time but, you’re just so cute.” He smiled.

“Shut up.” You grumbled and rolled your eyes. “We need to get you cleaned up, I’m gonna text my boss and tell him I’m taking the day off. I’m a mess and I couldn’t think of anything worse than client calls today.” You stood from the floor and wiped your face with your hands. “Go get in the shower, I’ll grab a towel for you and bring it in.” You held your hand out for Joel to take, he took it gently and pulled himself to his feet.

You didn’t release his hand, instead you reached up to cup the side of his face so you could place a chaste kiss to his lip, the faint metallic tang of blood lingered on your lips and you sighed softly.

“Joel, for what it’s worth, I’m glad he found out about us. It’s taken the pressure off of it and now, we can work on winning him over.” You said softly and looked into his soft eyes, you could see the tiredness and sadness hiding in his deep irises.

“I am too, peach. I’m sorry for how he shouted at you though, you don’t deserve that. Not now, not ever.” He concluded and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Come join me in the shower?” He asked with a boyish smile.

“Give me five minutes to call my boss and I’ll be right there. Go warm the water up for me.” You smiled and pushed him towards the bathroom.

That’s exactly what you did, you phoned your boss and explained you weren’t feeling great and needed the day off, thankfully, he didn’t ask too many questions and was pretty forgiving. Once that was taken care of, you grabbed a couple fresh towels from the laundry closet and headed to your bathroom; you smiled to yourself as you heard Joel hum lowly and saw steam spilling from the room.

There he was, in all his rough perfection, all strong lines and a light frown settled into his features. He had his head tipped back into the hot stream of water and the hot water cascaded down his body like a river. Your breath caught in your throat slightly as you watched him and it hit you all at once, like a brick, you had such strong feelings for this man and finally, you were allowing yourself to feel them all at once. Your shoulder was leant up against the doorframe when Joel finally tilted his head back up and opened his eyes to see you watching him.

“Didn’t realise you were such a peeping Tom, darlin’.” He huffed out a chuckle as he cleared the water from his face with his hands.

“Just admiring you, s’all.” You smiled. “You’re pretty damned handsome, Joel Miller.”

“And you,” he held a hand out to you, ushering you forward. “Peach, are the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Your heart fluttered at his words and once again, a blush settled high in your cheeks. He had such a physical effect on you with his tender words. You took a step towards the bathtub and smiled at him.

“Are you trying to have sex with me again, Miller?” You asked with a soft smirk.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” He shrugged. “But get in here with me anyway.” Joel grinned before holding his nose when the pain rippled through his face.

You undressed from your pyjamas and stepped into the bathtub with Joel, he made room for you and allowed you to have the direct stream of water to flow over you. You sighed happily as the hot water washed away all the tension in your body.

You held onto Joel’s arm tightly as you went onto your tiptoes to inspect his face further, your delicate fingers held his chin as you rotated his head to get a full view of his features.

“Do you think it’s broken? Do I need to take you to the ER?” You asked worriedly.

Joel shook his head. “Nah, not broken or anything darlin’, just really fucking sore. I’ve broken my nose before and it was a lot worse. It’ll be fine.” He dismissed with a weak smile.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed and stroked Joel’s arm.

He shook his head at you, “Please stop apologisin’, wasn’t your fault.”

You reached behind you and grabbed the shampoo off of the shelf in your shower. “Let me wash your hair.” You smiled at him and began to lather the fruit-scented liquid into his salt and pepper hair.

Joel hummed in appreciation and dipped his head down so you had better access; your finger nails gently scratched at his scalp and he let out a soft groan. You smiled as you washed Joel’s hair, it felt so domesticated and natural.

“Got a few new grey hairs here.” You teased as you took the shower head and directed the stream of water to his head.

“Do not!” He grumbled which caused you to laugh again.

You finished washing his hair and Joel switched your positions so he could return the favour, his rough fingers massaged your scalp before he let his fingers drop lower to massage your tense neck and shoulders. Your back was turned to the older male as his fingers worked the tight knots in your muscles loose. You hummed as your body relaxed further and Joel dipped his head down to pepper soft kisses to your neck.

“You’re so beautiful.” Joel whispered as he kissed your neck and shoulder; you could feel his body pressed to yours, his cock hardening with each kiss he pressed to your soft skin.

“Shut up.” You giggled affectionately; Joel nipped at your skin in response which caused you to yelp quietly.

“Manners.” He reminded you as his hands worked their way down your body.

His hands landed on your breasts, he gave the flesh of them a testing squeeze and let his fingers tweak your nipples softly.

“God, I want you just as bad as the first time.” He hummed into your neck, his fingers twisting the delicate buds of your hardening nipples.

You made a soft noise of appreciation, your ass pressed against Joel harder and you wiggled your hips for him. Joel’s hands slid down your torso before sliding behind you to cup your ass, he spread your cheeks and gripped at the flesh tightly, you leant forward slightly to give the male more access.

He made a guttural noise behind you and let his cock slide between your folds which cause you to let out a breathy moan.

“How about I take your mind off this mornin’, fuck the stress right out of your little cunt.” Joel whispered, his gruff voice almost being drowned out by the water running.

You nodded meekly, your stomach knotting with the anticipation of being filled by the older male once again; it felt like no matter how many times you had him, you were always left wanting more. He was intoxicating, worse than any drug out there and it left you hungrier than the last time.

Joel let out a low, breathy chuckle and passed his cock through your slick folds again. “Please.” You whispered and pressed yourself back, catching the tip of his cock.

“Okay, pretty girl. No teasin’, not today.” He laughed, taking his length and pressing it to your needy hole. He pushed his hips forward roughly and bottomed out, you gasped out loudly and your hands fell flat onto the tiled walls of your bathroom. Joel held your ass and gave the delicate skin a soft slap, the sound of your wet skin echoed in the room.

Joel groaned out as he pulled his hips back and snapped them forward once again. “You feel like heaven, wanna stay inside of you forever.” He mumbled, building up a quick pace.

You moaned into your arm as Joel’s cock worked its way in and out of you, your fingers flexed weakly as they searched for something to grip onto for support.

“How ‘bout you touch yourself whilst I fuck you?” Joel asked, his voice oozing with just enough condescension to drive you crazy.

You nodded and let one of your shaky arms drop down your stomach and you let your fingers find your throbbing clit. As soon as your nimble fingers made contact with your sensitive clit, you moaned and clenched around Joel which only seemed to egg him on further. You circled your clit in time with Joel’s thrusts and it didn’t take long for your stomach to bubble with your impending orgasm.

“G-gonna cum.” You stated, your chest heaving with your heavy breaths. “Please, please let me cum.” You whimpered, knowing Joel loved it when you asked him for permission.

“Mmm, atta girl. Such a good girl for asking. Cum on my cock before I drain my balls into your tight little hole.” He groaned.

It’s all the permission you needed; Joel’s filthy words lingered in your mind as the obscene sounds of your wet pussy and your bodies slapping together filled the room. Your walls fluttered around the older male, your toes curled and you tried your hardest to keep your balance as the water poured around you. You screwed your eyes shut as you came around the male, his name falling from your wet parted lips. Stars fluttered behind your closed eyelids as you rode out your high, Joel still fucked into you with vigour.

“Fill me up, please.” You whined to Joel as you clenched around him, the aftershocks of your orgasm still thrumming through your body.

Joel was there, chasing his high like a crazed man. He held your hips tightly and kept his thrusts deep and quick as he worked himself to his finish. It only took a matter of seconds before he roughly grabbed one of your breasts and finished deep inside of you. You gasped as you felt the hot liquid spurt in you, spilling around Joel’s thick cock as he fucked himself through it. He groaned deeply in your ear and kept your body close to his; he had pulled you up so you were standing upright and his face was buried deeply into your neck. His lips brushed over your ear and his hot breath fanned across your skin, you shuddered as Joel finally pulled himself from within you. You already felt his semen leaking from your spent hole and you whined at the sensation.

“I’m a ruined woman, you’ve ruined me, Joel Miller.” You laughed dryly, to which Joel kissed the top of your head with a breathy chuckle.

—

Once you were cleaned up, you and Joel found yourselves cuddled on your sofa; he had claimed his hoodie back and had slipped his boxers back on, it was a look you quite appreciated as it meant you could stare at his muscular legs.

You had a blanket wrapped around you, your legs draped over Joel’s lap as you faced the male. “I feel like we should properly speak about this morning… Now that everything has calmed down a little and I’m not crying anymore.” You mumbled, breaking the comfortable quietness in the room. Your tv was on in the background but the volume was low, you were entirely sure what Joel had put on but his attention shifted as soon as you spoke.

“Yeah, we probably should. I think maybe you should reach out to your old man.” Joel said quietly.

You opened your mouth to protest and he raised an eyebrow at you, causing the words to quickly die in your mouth.

“I know. I know you were about to say that he’s the one in the wrong and he needs apologise and yeah, he does, darlin’. He was a nasty piece of work this morning, with the way he spoke to you but you did have sex with me, like we said this morning… we knew we were crossing a line and we let it happen again afterwards.” Joel continued, you listened and nodded slightly.

“I just… I don’t know what to say to him, I know it was a shock this morning but like, he was a dick!” You protested, dropping your head back onto the arm of your sofa in frustration.

“I think we need to be a little more understanding, sweet girl. Could you imagine if you walked in on your dad and one of your close friends?” Joel asked.

“Gross!” You exclaimed with a fake gag. “I guess you’re right though… do you think I should try calling him? I think he would be on his lunch break now?”

“I think it’s a good idea, I could leave and give you some space, if you like?” Joel asked and looked you, your head was still dropped back and he squeezed your leg gently.

“No!” You called out and lifted your head, your eyes filled with panic. “Please stay, I want you here incase he shouts or something again… I’ll probably cry.” You stated bluntly.

“As long as you’re sure, peach.” He said softly and stroked the bare skin of your legs.

You reached over to your coffee table and slid your phone off the edge, you contemplated it for a while before you unlocked your device and pressed your dad’s name to call him. You put it on speakerphone and placed your phone on your chest, your fingers toyed with the blanket as the dial-tones filled the room.

“Dad,” you started as soon as he picked up. “Hi.” You said weakly.

“Y/N.” You dad stated. “Is he there with you still?”

“No,” you lied pathetically before shaking your head at Joel. “I mean, yes. He is, sorry I don’t know why I lied, I panicked.”

“I’ll call you later once he is gone then. I don’t want anything do with that man ever again and you shouldn’t either. Disgusting.” You dad hissed into the receiver, his voice was dropped low and you were thankful he wasn’t throwing Joel’s name around carelessly. You could hear the tiredness in his voice as well, like he was forcing the anger out.

“Daddy, please.” You begged, you rarely ever called your dad that anymore but you were desperate, you felt like a child seeking acceptance and validation again. “Please talk to us. Talk to me. I’m sorry for what happened this morning.” You spoke, your voice cracked part way through your sentence and you cleared your throat.

“Please don’t get upset, princess.” Your dad said softly, and for the first time today, you could hear the love in his voice. “I’m sorry for how I shouted at you this morning, my anger was directed in the wrong place and I’m sorry for what I called you. I’m ashamed of how I acted towards you this morning.”

“And towards Joel.” You said quietly. “Dad, you said it was for the best his daughter isn’t around anymore. Regardless of how upset you were, that was a disgusting cheap shot and I still can’t believe you said it.” You sighed sadly, replaying the scene in your head over and over.

“I — uh, you’re right. I shouldn’t have said that to him, I’ve been thinking ‘bout it all morning. Is he okay? Are you okay? I’m really sorry you saw me punch him like that as well, I just… I feel like I should have protected you more, I feel like this happened because I let Joel into our lives.” Your dad mumbled. He kept his voice hushed as he whispered the older male’s name.

“Dad…” you sighed again. “Joel’s not a bad man, he’s one of the best guy’s I know. I was the one who instigated this whole thing. So if you’re gonna blame anyone, please, please blame me. Joel’s not done anything wrong. I’m an adult.”

“I know you and maybe that’s why I reacted the way I did, it’s just. You’re all I have left and it’s not an excuse but I feel like you don’t need me anymore.” Your dad admitted and you heard the wobble in his voice.

“Please come over to Joel’s tonight, we can all sit down and talk about this properly?” You pleaded.

“Fine. I’ll be round about 7pm, okay?” Your dad concluded.

“I love you so much, dad. Thank you.” You whispered.

“Love you too, sweet pea.” He said softly before the line cut off.

You let out a deep huff and your head dropped against the arm of sofa again, tears pricked your eyes and you rubbed them roughly to stop the tears from falling.

“Proud of you.” Joel stated, his fingers rubbing your skin soothingly. “You did so well, you were mature and kind. Perfect manners.” He praised, teasing you about your manners.

You let out a small laugh, sitting up so you could look at Joel again. His eyes were tired and soft, his fingers continued to soothe you and you sighed contentedly.

“God, I’m dreading tonight already.” You winced and Joel nodded in agreement. “Gonna have to keep your dirty hands off me, Miller.” You teased, jabbing your toes into his side to tickle him; he grabbed your feet and tickled the bottom of them causing you to let out a squeal.

“Gonna have to keep your hands off me, more like. Dirty girl.” He teased, still tickling you.

—

Joel and you spent the majority of your afternoon on your sofa, watching TV and cuddling up to have a couple of naps. You had got dressed into jeans and a comfy knitted jumper, Joel had pulled his clothes on from the previous night.

“Stay with me tonight, once your dad is gone? Bring some clothes and stay with me?” Joel asked quietly, feeling nervous to ask you, for some reason.

“Thought you’d never ask.” You teased with a grin before you grabbed your overnight bag and stuffed your essentials inside of it.

Joel drove you both over to his house, it was around 6pm and you felt your stomach flip with anxiety with every minute that passed. You drew the curtains in the living room, lit the fireplace and even lit a couple of candles that were scattered in the living room. They made you smile as the warm glow flicked in front of you; you had bought these for Joel for Christmas last year, you insisted he needed a feminine touch to his house, especially if he was ‘ever going to get a girlfriend’. You had always felt to bitterly anytime your father brought up that Joel should ‘get back out there and find someone’; looking back on it now, it made you laugh. If only you could have seen what was coming right round the corner for you both.

“I think we should order Chinese.” Joel stated from the doorway of the living room, causing you to jump slightly.

“Oh uh, yeah. Sounds good. Dad’s favourite, good tactic, Miller.” You smiled as you wandered over to where Joel was stood.

“What were you doing in here?” Joel asked suspiciously.

“Nothin’, just admiring those nice candles.” You teased and wrapped your arms around Joel’s waist so you were hugging his frame.

“Oh yeah?” Joel asked, smirking. “Some girl got me them saying I needed a feminine touch in my house, or somethin’ like that.” He teased, wrapping his arms around your neck so he could hold you close.

You hit his side affectionately and rolled your eyes at him, you leant back so you could see his features and he ducked his head down to catch your lips in a kiss. His hand immediately found your cheek, he cupped it tenderly as his lips moved against yours. You smiled into the kiss and swiped your tongue across Joel’s bottom lip silently asking for permission to deepen it. Joel obliged happily, allowing you access to explore his mouth further and he hummed in appreciation as your tongue met his own. You could taste mint on his hot breath as you kissed and you couldn’t stop the quiet moan that escaped your mouth as you kissed. It was a tender moment, his hand held you so softly as you kissed him deeply.

Finally, you pulled away from the kiss to catch your breath momentarily and his kissed your lips softly once more.

“You can’t be doing that to me, not when your dad could arrive any moment. We are trying to win him over, I don’t think he’ll be best pleased if he arrived and saw you with your tongue down my throat and my cock hard in my jeans, will he?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

You giggled and shrugged at Joel. “Not my problem if you get hard from me kissing you. Sounds like a you problem, Mr Miller.” You teased and kissed his cheek before leaving the room.

Joel slapped your ass teasingly as you walked away and you yelped at him, pushing his hand away. You climbed onto one of the stools at his kitchen island and picked up your phone to look at the time. It was 6:40pm and you knew your dad would be arriving imminently. You absently chewed on the side of your thumb and scrolled through your phone to try and distract yourself momentarily.

“It’ll be fine, peach.” Joel said soothingly, he kissed the top of your head. “I’m gonna have a quick smoke before he arrives.”

“It’ll be fine, Joel.” You mimicked, knowing the man only really smoked when he was drunk, stressed or nervous.

“Shut up.” He laughed affectionately and grabbed his packet of smokes from near his kitchen door; he let himself out and lit one of his cigarettes.

You looked at him and you couldn’t help but think back to the morning after it first happened, when you walked down and saw him in nearly the same position then. It was less than a week ago but it felt like a lifetime ago now, it felt as if so much had happened since then.

You went back to your phone, you opened the camera roll and looked through the images you had taken with Joel last night; you giggled as you scrolled through the stupid faces you pulled. You thumb lingered over the screen as you stared at the image in front of you; it was the one where Joel was kissing your head, your eyes were closed peacefully and you saw the perfect side profile of the older man. It was an image of a seemingly normal couple, you almost didn’t recognise it. Your thumb hovered momentarily over the options before you pressed your screen a couple of times more to set the image as your wallpaper. You locked your phone and touched the screen to see the image illuminated there for you and you grinned at it.

You were pulled from your phone as the back door, where Joel was, slid open and he stepped inside. He was about to ask if your dad had arrived yet but his words were cut short by the doorbell ringing through the house. You jumped down from the stool, smoothed your jumper and gave a shaky sigh to try and calm yourself. Joel held his hand out for you to take; which you did gratefully and he caught your lips for a quick kiss, just one last stolen moment of bliss before your dad broke it.

Joel wrapped his arm around your waist protectively as you walked to the front door, he gave you a small squeeze as you opened it and saw your dad stood awkwardly, a pack of beer under one arm and a large bunch of flowers in his other hand. You knew he felt awful for this morning, part of you was glad he recognised his awful behaviour and the other part of you felt guilty for his guilt.

“For you, sweet pea.” He said softly, pushing the bouquet into your direction you. You smelled the flowers and smiled at your dad, the bouquet contained different wildflowers and he had even made sure there were sweet peas throughout, as it was how he always addressed you. “And uh; Joel, these are for you. They’re the ones we always share.” Your dad said quietly, holding the beers out for him to take.

Joel took them, ushered your dad inside and smiled at him. “Thank you, bud. Truly.”

“Come on through to the kitchen, dad. I’ll put these in a vase and I’ll get you both a drink.” You said sweetly, kissing your dad’s cheek before going through to the kitchen.

You looked through Joel’s cupboards frustratedly, looking for anything resembling a vase.

“You’re not gonna find one, peach. Do I look like the sorta guy that has flowers hanging around?” Joel laughed and you rolled your eyes.

“Of course you don’t have a fuckin’ vase. A vase, something so simple.” You muttered, settling for a large glass and filling it with water so you could at least keep the flowers hydrated. “Gonna start buying you flowers so you have to get a vase.” You teased, sticking your tongue out at Joel.

Your dad cleared his throat, feeling awkward as he stood by the kitchen island and you shot him an apologetic look.

“Beers?” You asked enthusiastically as you tried to clear the air.

“Beers.” The two men concluded at the same time which caused you to laugh.

You fetched everyone a drink before you put the remaining beers back into the fridge for your dad and Joel to enjoy.

“Cheers,” you announced. “To family and friendship.” You offered up, tilting your bottle towards your dad.

“To love.” Your dad concluded and clinked his bottle to yours before gently tapping Joel’s too.

“Joel, shall I order some food? Do you maybe wanna go through the living room with dad?” You encouraged to which Joel nodded. “Gonna order Chinese, old man, so I hope you brought your appetite.”

“Sounds perfect, thank you, sweet pea.” Your dad smiled weakly as he followed Joel out of the room.

Joel sat himself down on his couch and motioned for your dad to take a seat, he did so in the arm chair across from the male.

“I’m sorry.” They both spoke at the same time, your dad waved a hand in front of his face dismissively and shook his head. “No, Joel, I’m sorry. Y/N is an adult, I just didn’t want to admit that she may not need me anymore. What I said was out of order —“

Joel went to interrupt and your dad gave him a look that told him otherwise. “I was out of order, I shouldn’t have brought up Sarah. It wasn’t fair and it definitely wasn’t nice. I just — I hated the thought of you, of you touching my little girl. I just. It made me feel ill.” Your dad continued, pausing to take a swig of his drink with a grimace. “But it’s not just you… it’s the thought of anyone with my little girl that makes me feel ill, I just need to remember she’s an adult and well, at least she’s with someone I know and trust. Because I do, Joel, I still trust you; only now, I trust that you won’t hurt my girl.” He spoke, his voice was soft but stern.

Joel nodded, his fingers toyed with the label of his beer bottle and he stared at it intently. “Bud, I wouldn’t hurt her. Not even for a second. And I’m sorry, I am for the way this has gone. I know I’m a lot older than her, and I know I’m your friend and I crossed a line there… I care so much about her, I’m truly lucky she wants to give an old guy like me a chance. I’m sorry.” He all but whispered, his voice shaking with nerves.

“I know you are.” Your dad offered up, giving his knee a friendly pat. “I don’t love the idea of your relationship, and I would appreciate if you didn’t flaunt it in front of me, at least not whilst I adjust to it but I know you’re sorry, and I forgive you. I uh — I didn’t mean what I said about work this morning, you’re not fired. I couldn’t run this shit without you.” Your dad laughed dryly. “Take the rest of the week off, come back next Monday, once we have both had a bit of time to digest everything.”

“Thank you.” Joel breathed, relief flooding his body as he finally felt his muscles relax into the sofa. “Thank you so much, and for what it’s worth, peach is real’ sorry for how this all happened. I know she’s said it herself but she feels awful, much like I do.”

“I know. It’s messy but we will all get over it in time. Come here.” Your dad said, placing his beer bottle down and standing to bring Joel in for a hug; his hands patted Joel’s back as he held him there. “Sarah was the luckiest girl to have a dad like you, I know it. And my sweet pear will be lucky to have you as her partner, also.” Your dad forced the last part of his sentence out, the words didn’t flow with ease but he did mean them, somewhat.

The rest of the evening was pleasant, you all sat around eating Chinese and listening to music; much like how your Friday evenings went. The tension had all but dissipated once you all sat down to eat and talk things through.

It was late, you had placed your head into Joel’s lap and drifted off to sleep; your belly full of Chinese food and a low buzz of alcohol thrummed through your body. You were content and safe.

Joel stroked through your hair with his fingers, his eyes so soft as he looked at you with adoration, your lashes splayed across your soft cheeks and he held your hand with his free one.

“I’ll leave you guys to it.” Your dad announced, a little awkward. Joel was about to get up, to wake you up to say bye but your dad shook his head. “Let her sleep, I’ll send her a message tomorrow morning. Thank you for tonight, truly. I’m sorry for this morning. You’re a good guy, Joel Miller.” Your dad whispered, he patted Joel’s shoulder and Joel closed his eyes at your dad’s kind words of acceptance. He didn’t feel like a good guy, especially not after this morning but he was so thankful for your dad’s apology.

Your dad left the house quietly and Joel looked down at the perfect sight of your snoozing in his lap. He gently pried you off to stand before he leant down to lift your sleeping body off of the sofa. He was gentle with you, being mindful to hold your body close as he walked you through the doorway to go upstairs.

“Hmm?” You hummed at the disturbance, your eyes barely fluttering open.

“Taking you up to bed, sweet girl. Your dad just left, he’ll message you in the mornin’ he said.” Joel whispered, trying to keep you from waking up fully.

“Oh.” You yawned before nuzzling your face into Joel’s neck, searching for warmth. “Hmm. I love you.” You mumbled incoherently, not really registering what had been said.

Joel paused for a second, taking in your words, he bit back a smile and kissed your head. “My sweet girl, love you more.” He chuckled lowly, you made a small noise in your sleep and with that Joel laid you down on his bed.

He took your jeans off of you and your jumper before redressing you in the pyjamas you had brought over. He stripped himself down to his boxers and climbed into the space next to you; he brought your sleeping frame closer and held you tightly as he let his own slumber pull him in.

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Taglist: @jksprincess10 @joelmill3r @the-blue-banshee @silkiers @martiansodas-blog @bigmoodyjoody @daddysuperduperlonglegs @not-a-unique-snowflake89 @powergirlsupremacy @weddingfairy @zarakirbyy @available-ostrich @queerly-anxious @seeyoutomaura @hazehepburn @moonfllowerr @butts4sale @st4rb0y27 @mrsyixingunicorn10 @dojacatswink @readerfanfichere @pintsizedsunshine @sivulele @deanwinchesterscumrag @jessie-skywalker @tayymiller @namedafteramovie @wisedeanwagoncroissant @dirtysadnessfillmeup @sashathephoenix @lunxramour @here4thespice @kyuupidwrites @hangmans-girl @hellowhoisthisidk @sxngria @completelyoverit @xuniverseofbeachesx @bisexualdolphinthings @follivora @mildloser @ashh1211 @starblogsalot @your-not-invisible-to-me @wreckdwolf @cant-shake-this-feeling-off @tiredandreadytogohome

Taglist Notes: If anyone wants tags removing for the last part, please let me know! Subsequently, if people want to be tagged in the last (?) part, also please let me know! Names strikedthrough are users that couldn’t be tagged properly, if I missed you, please know it isn’t intentional at all!!! <3

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#dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel miller x reader #dbf joel miller #dbf!joel #joel miller #pedro pascal #joel x reader #joel miller x reader

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hummusxx · 9 months

Text

Thank u to my man (insta au)

Jude Bellingham x reader

summary: in which a popular influencer discovers the most handsome man on earth (Jude)

materialist

Face claim: Lala Baptiste

liked by: judebellingham, y/bestie, jobebellingham, trentarnold66, and 114,309 others

y/nzworld: on Wednesday’s, we wear pink

y/bestie:YES BITCH SERVING CUNT

^ y/nzworld: BYE BITCH

user2467: is it pink

^ user890: okay we ain’t gotta do all that

judebellingham: 💓🌸💝

^ jobebellingham: ain’t no way bruv just did that

^^ y/nzworld: i’m not okay rn

y/nfan: OMG JUDE LIKED AND COMMENTED. I SHIP

wagsoffootbal: new couple alert 👀

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wagsoffotbal

liked by 300,789 others

wagsoffootball: Are #y/ny/l and #judebellingham on bae watch👀 Is this a 🚢 or sink

y/nzworld: girl bye 😭🥱

user904: why we still doin this in 2023. Cringey as hell

liked by judebellingham, y/nzworld, and others

y/nsbestie: TOMATO TOMATO FIND SOMETHING DIFFERENT BOO

^user736: HELP😭😭

user627:she’s not even pretty😒

^user907:girl ik u didn’t just say that about miss.y/n

user627: she’s probably just another gold digger 🤣

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y/nzworld

liked by judebellingham, y/nbestie, jobebellingham and 700,000 others

y/nzworld: and my man, thank u to my man

tagged: @judebellingham

judebellingham: you’re welcome ig🙄

^y/nzworld: wow okay. 😪🤧

y/nsbestie: rue when was this 😦

^y/nzworld: whoop’s i forgot to tell u

^y/nsbestie: call me right now Y/N Y/L

judebellingham: out of all photos you took of me…

^y/nzworld:you just looked so cute i had too 🥹

jobebellingham: bruvs finally getting play 🙏

^judebellingham: you’re not funny.

^y/nzworld: i think he’s funny

^jobebellingham: thank u y/n. see this is why i like u more than him.

^judebellingham: she’s lying to u

gioareyna: mama y papa

user896: WAIT WHAT!?

user267: gold digger 🤮🤮🥱

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hummusxx’s corner

well hello. Im trying out insta au’s because i love reading them sm so i thought why not give it a shot. Haven’t posted a fic in a while (i see your requests and i have started them all) Requests are still open if anyone wants something done by me, just don’t expect it to be done right away. This has been siting in my drafts since like mid July so here ya go everyone

#hummusxx' corner #jude bellingham #jb5 #jude bellingham x reader #hey jude #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham fluff #star boy

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mybworlds · 3 months

Text

CHAPTER 9

status: ongoing

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: your life is full of 'must'. You live with your overprotective mother who controls every aspect of your life. You have a dream, to write romance novels, but love - real love - you haven't found yet. Your mother has even decided what you must do in your free time: play music. One day, however, when you go to your music teacher's house, you will have an unexpected encounter and from that day on things change…

Masterlist

rating: 18+ explicit (minors, DNI)

Before to start... Thank you for your support, for your likes and reblog, thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️

In this chapter there's a smut moment...

If you like it pls leave a like/comment/reblog it, if you don't like it don't be rude and keep going. Please remember English is not my first language, so please be merciful!

Thanks @vase-of-lilies for the banner

Since that afternoon, you and Joel have not seen each other again. He wrote you he had to go away for his job to renovate a building in a small town a few miles away.

You took the opportunity to clear your mind about your situation with him and Jack. You don't like being in this position, but you don't know how to get out of it.

On the one hand you wish you could live what you are experiencing with Joel in the light of day, but on the other hand you know you can never do that. You don't know if he wants to or if because of the considerable age difference he wants to show himself in public with you; then there's your mother who, since she's been hanging out with what you now call religious fanatics, has been doing nothing but telling you that you need to get pure to the altar, you need to start attending church, you should go to confession. And then on the other side is Jack. Jack is a good guy, he's polite, he's reserved, he treats you well, and he never pressures you in any way.

This is starting to become too much.

You can't take it anymore.

The easiest thing would be to stop going to Joel's house, stop talking to him, stop seeing him, and probably the constant temptation to be his would cease, but the problem is that you don't want to stop. You don't want to stop seeing him; just the idea makes you sick.

However, you are firmly convinced that you cannot go on like this. You don't want to delude anyone. It's not fair. You've always criticized those who have their foot in the door, and then you of all people find yourself doing it.

At that moment, the phone screen lights up revealing the arrival of a new message.

It's Joel.

" Just finished at the construction site. Shower, dinner and then finally bed. Old enough to work that hard anymore! "

You smile, shaking your head.

" Good evening to u! Tomorrow take a chair and rest, let others do the dirty work ;) "

Your heart is pounding even though you aren't writing anything strange to each other, but it's so good you are afraid to ruin it.

When the notification comes he's writing a new message, you stand there in eager anticipation, then the message appears.

" What have you been doin'? Studied the chords? "

You haven't actually studied anything, but you decide to tell a little lie.

" Yes, but still can't play 'em well. Beyond, I worked, I had to go to church with my mum, she wanted me to go to confession, but made up a sudden shift at work and ran away. "

You then decide to tell him about an additional decision you have been pondering for a few days.

" I read an ad in the newspaper they r looking for a librarian's aide in town. How 'bout if I show up? "

You want his advice; part of you sees this additional job opportunity as a new excuse to run away from home with the hope of putting money aside to get away someday.

His response is not long in coming.

" Can imagine the scene! Be sure to stay out of trouble in my absence. "

That message almost heartens you, gives you strength.

" For the arrangements I'll show you again, no problem. For the new job, you like i'? You'd leave the previous one or is it a second job? "

This message comes soon after.

" It's a second one. Joel the truth is I'd like to leave. Can't stand being here in this situation anymore. "

His reply is even quicker than before.

" I know, honey, I know it's very hard your life. I also know that one day, hope for ya soon, you'll fly away and that day I hope to be with you to tell you I told you you'd make it, to believe in your dreams and hug you before I see you leave. "

Those words surely meant to be an encouragement not to give up, but they hurt. Very badly.

The idea of going away and leaving Joel hurts you even more than you could have imagined.

You don't know what to say to him, you lock the phone's screen and put it on charge. You lie down and stay for a long, long time staring at the streetlight-lit ceiling in the street and think back to the man's words: you want to leave sure, but you never thought about how you would do it in the absence of your loved ones.

The next day, at 5:45 a.m., your mother wakes you to say morning prayer together and then goes to work.

You get back under the covers; your shift at the bar doesn't start until 9:00. You could still sleep, but Joel's words buzz in your head again, so you pick up your phone and find three messages from him.

" Maybe was too direct.

I know it'll happen sooner or later, just trying to get used to the idea myself first.

Didn't want to upset or hurt you. "

He wrote them to you an hour ago probably seeing no response from you.

You breathe deeply and decide to answer him.

" Hope it won't happen too soon. Not tired of everything or everyone. "

It's the truth. You are fine with him, with your three friends. It's your mother and her coven that suffocates you.

The phone vibrates again.

It's him.

" I'll be back tonight, wanna get a beer or smt else? Don't think can wait until our next official meeting. "

Your heart starts beating hard in your chest and you can't fall asleep anymore.

You're about to answer when he writes you again.

" If you can, of course, don't wanna you to fall out the window! "

You immediately reply to him.

" Funny. Tonight my mum goes to church first, then she's on duty. When r u coming? "

You'd like to dare to invite him to your place, but you'd never want your mother to catch you and him hugging or, worse, she'd lock you in a convent and throw away the key starting reciting rosaries for the salvation of your soul.

His answer comes in a few minutes.

" At 5 p.m. finish here, so I plan by 7 p.m. to be home, take a shower and then come get you. I'll take you to a very nice place, not too far from town. I won't get my little girl drunk, I promise. I've to go now or I'll end up texting like a teenager all day. See u tonight. "

You find yourself giggling all excitedly clutching your cell phone to your chest and closing your eyes.

You're looking forward to it.

Evening comes and an atomic bomb seems to have gone off in your room, you don't know what to wear. Finally, you opt for a forest green turtleneck sweater dress, underneath a pair of lined tights and a pair of leather ankle boots with a timid hint of a heel. Over a leather-colored coat to match the ankle boots.

Secretly from your mother you make all these choices and then put your room back in order.

You're exhausted because you did everything to not to be caught; as soon as she leaves, have your hair and makeup done.

In fact, you choose to style your hair with soft waves and makeup with a strand of pencil and lip gloss.

Joel asked for your home address and then texts you he'd be leaving home in no time.

You look at yourself over and over again, you also ask for advice from your friends who call you a sexpot ready to strip. In fact, you told them about what happened between you and Joel, none of them surprised to learn he was your first in the end. All three of them hugged you really hard and said Joel must be really special to have allowed him to do this. You are not frigid, but you never wanted to give yourself away like that. In fact, you always believed that there was the right guy for you somewhere and you just had to be patient and he would eventually come into your life.

Your phone vibrates; Joel is downstairs.

When you come down, you find his SUV in front of your building, but he's there outside at the door: when he sees you his tired face relaxes and then he smiles at you coming towards you. You open the door and in a burst of great enthusiasm you hug him, throwing your arms around his neck, almost running over a passerby.

You hear him chuckle as you bury your head in the crook of his neck and you enjoy his scent of bubble bath and cologne. He dips his head into your hair breathing in your floral scent staying in that position for a while.

"If this is your welcome, I'll leave often," he says in your ear.

You shake your head and then loosen the embrace "Don't even think about it!"

"Did ya miss me that much?" he asks as he looks into your eyes, taking your face in his hands.

You nod with a small smile melting into that sweet, warm hold.

"My sweet baby doll." he says giving you a kiss on the tip of your nose Then he pushes his hands away from your face making room for you to walk alongside him to the SUV.

You can't take your eyes off him, you smile as you get into the car and put on your seat belt.

He smiles at you, then starts the car and you drive away from your address. Only then you take a breath.

He notices because he looks at you and asks, "Was i' so terrible this time?"

You watch him, you like to see him driving, that focused gaze and his brown eyes focused on the road and occasionally turned toward you. You tell him the news about your mother, how dedicated she has been to prayer, you tell him about this second job, but you emphasize that it's not a way of telling him you want to get out of town right away, but you'd like to leave your mother's house as soon as possible, you tell him about your friends and the news of their lives and the advice they are giving you for your work and your life.

"And what did you do at work?" you ask him, rubbing your hands together from the cold.

He tells you about loading and unloading building materials, cutting and sawing bricks, and getting several scratches on his hands and a couple on his arms as well.

"You treated 'em, didn't you?" you ask him in a sweet and somewhat apprehensive tone.

He takes your hand and brings it to his lips in a tender kiss without taking his eyes off the road.

"'S okay. 'm fine." he smiles reassuringly at you "Rather, how much did ya miss me?" he asks you turning a fleeting glance and a small smile.

"So much." you reply, intertwining the fingers of your hand with his. The contact with his warm, thick fingers sends strange tremors throughout your body. You breathe deeply before resuming the word "And how much did you miss me?"

He doesn't answer right away, zigzags his gaze from you to the street, then replies "More than I ever thought I would." your heart skips a beat, you always thought these were corny romcom phrases, but that you'd never hear them or that anyone would ever say them to you.

He looks at you, "You're beautiful," he says, "I love your scent."

"I have it all the time," you reply in a hushed voice.

"I know," he replies, then turns his gaze to you with a smile, "I love everything 'bout ya."

You look at each other for a brief moment since he cannot look away from the road for long, but his words lead you to take his hand and shake it, he reciprocates the shake by intertwining his fingers with yours.

He takes you to a karaoke bar, not exactly the kind of club you'd frequent; however, as long as you are with him any club is fine. Fortunately for both of you, there are not many people who try their hand at singing; therefore, it is a place where you can also talk.

"'M sorry, babe, maybe it's not exactly the place you'd chose to hang out," he apologizes once you sat across from each other at the small square table looking at you with a sad, guilty look.

"It's fine, any place is fine," you reply to him, observing the place with curiosity. You look at the counter in front of the tables, at the club logo to the side, further on at the small stage with a small console and a couple of microphones in case of duets, and then back at the man in front of you.

You feel so lucky to be afforded his company, to observe his sweet deep dark eyes, to bask in his good smell, to be able to return his warm smile.

You decide not to look overly strange in just staring at him, and so you pick up the menu and look at it perplexed, constantly asking Joel for information as you have no idea what you are reading and therefore what you might be getting. Finally, you choose a simple Diet Coke, he smiles shaking his head slightly and then orders a Tequila for him.

"I'm not carrying you tonight!" he mocks your choice by taking your hand in an affectionate gesture.

You shrug your shoulders "I've never had a drink and I confess I'm a little afraid to do so. I sipped some whiskey at your house only."

"Afraid of saying or doing something too much?" he asks you, opening his jacket and revealing a brick-colored turtleneck sweater.

You smile, "Yes, maybe. Wanna play a game?" you propose.

"A game?" he repeats, smiling at you, intrigued by this singular proposal.

"It's called I never have." you raise your hands just slightly above the table "If you have done what I say, then you lower a finger of your hand. If you haven't, you do nothing. Let's play, I have never gone hunting." you begin.

He lowers a finger "I've been there several times, both as a boy and then as an adult. Even a couple of years ago with Tommy." he tells you "Now it's my turn." you see him focused on thinking about something "I've never taught anyone." he confesses.

You look at him surprised "Really?"

He nods "You are my first and only student." he confesses again looking you in the eyes a little guiltily.

You lower a finger "The only one I taught is Helen, my friend. She came to the bar after me." you tell him "At first it was just me and a guy, he was nice one, but" you leave the sentence hanging a bit, then shake your head "I wasn't his type."

He nods "I like this game. So I know you even better."

"Well, that's the goal of the game. I've never celebrated the Fourth of July." you say with a slightly sad look on your face.

"Never?!" he exclaims, lowering his finger "It's always been my favorite time of the summer. When we were kids Tommy and I would go to a pond with our parents and punctually have kayak races." he smiles "I celebrated it until..." his gaze fades and the smile disappears.

"Until when?" you gently urge him.

He sighs, "Until it's all over," he replies, looking up at you.

"Why did it end with her?" you ask him directly.

He blinks and then assumes an almost annoyed expression as if you shouldn't ask him such a question.

"Forgive me," you say as you lower your gaze, "I'd like to get to know you better, but you always seem to have a wall put up between you and others." you continue, looking at him quizzically.

"It's true, I don't like to talk about my past. It's mine alone, and most importantly it doesn't affect my relationship with you at all." he replies.

"I'm glad to know, but I don't want to know because I'm afraid it'll affect our relationship, but only because I want to know everything about you," you tell him looking at him with sad eyes.

"Honey, please- I don't want to. Don't make that request of me." he tells you, laying his hand on yours, but you don't look up at him, you look to the side "Please don't do that. Don't force things too much. They might break." he goes on, squeezing your hand just a little tighter, and you then look up.

"Okay."

You see him almost relax in his chair, then he says, "I never liked dancing or singing."

You smile, softly, but you smile.

"Me neither," you retort without lowering your finger "now, let's see...I never sang at the karaoke bar." you say smiling at him, he smiles back and you notice he doesn't lower his finger.

"Well, now you can." he replies standing up and holding out a hand to you.

"What?!" you ask worriedly.

"You've never sung karaoke." he says, taking your hand and making you stand up almost weightlessly.

"No, no, shhh, no, Joel." you try to stop him without succeeding as he draws the attention of the man there on the stage.

"There's my friend who wants to sing something," Joel says, looking first at the man and then at you.

Damn you.

Well, if you sing, he'll sing too!

The man announces to the small audience in the room of your performance, Joel himself incites the others to clap.

"Well and what are you going to sing for us, love?" the man asks.

You turn your gaze toward Joel and notice that he is glowering - to put it mildly - at the karaoke guy.

"This is a duet, so I need him," you reply, holding Joel back with all your might.

"Cool!" the man exclaims "I want to hear this applause." he incites the small audience to clap again.

"You''ll pay for this." Joel says grudgingly.

"You too." you retort "What do we want to sing?" you ask him.

Joel doesn't answer, so you choose a song from a few years ago, it's a sweet song, no rock stuff or anything like that, you don't want to put yourself or Joel in undue difficulty. You both get out of tune several times, but just look into each other's eyes to smile at each other to help you not take yourselves too seriously.

Your performance thankfully ends three minutes and forty-five seconds later with some timid clapping. You come down holding hands and returning to your seats you both lower a finger. With Joel there was another first time.

A waiter brings you shortly after your orders, which Joel pays for right away; you see Joel intent on drinking his Tequila and so gripped by curiosity you ask him if you can try it. He hesitates, but then hands it to you. You barely take a sip of his drink, but it's too alcoholic for you; you cough, returning the glass to him as he chuckles exclaiming an I told you.

"How can you drink that?" you ask him after a while.

He shrugs his shoulders with a smile, "Now, my turn." he says as he takes another sip of his drink "I've never felt the desire to kiss someone in public like I do now." he confesses as he looks you in the eye.

You support his gaze by lowering a finger "I feel the same way." you say "I just don't know what you might think about it." you add.

"Me? Well, I honestly don't give a damn shit about what they may say about me. I care about you, about what they may say if they see you kissing an old man like me." he tells you, extending a hand, which you immediately take and intertwining his fingers with yours.

"You're not that old, Joel. Stop it!" you exclaim "I told you, I'm almost 30. Can I choose who I want to date? I don't have to ask permission from the guy on stage there or my mother or her religious coven. I need to be okay, and I'm happy with you," you blurt it out.

You see him contemplative, so you try to bring back some good humor asking him if he wants to eat something and this time you'll pay for the food. He suggests you a portion of fried potatoes and onion rings and then a plate of fried rice to share, and you gladly accept.

While you wait, your game continues.

"I have never felt the desire to be younger." he says avoiding your gaze. You don't put your finger down - you don't feel the same - but you realize he's telling you something. You look him in the eye and he continues "I wish I had only been a four or five years older than you, maybe that would have been more acceptable to you." he says with a sad expression.

"Joel, Joel, Joel." you say laying your hands on the sides of his face "Please look me in the eyes." he does, his eyes are so sad "If it was a problem for me, I'd have told you right away."

"'N what would ya have told me?" he asks you.

You get up and approach him with the chair taking his hand which you squeeze between yours "I'd have told you I didn't feel comfortable, uhm maybe-- that for me these eighteen years are many, but the truth is, when I'm with you, I don't think about your or my age at all. I live you as you are. And you are a wonderful person, Joel. When I'm with you, I feel so safe, my heart always beats fast, and I think I was lucky to met you and run into you." you say, brushing your lips on his, a thought takes side in a far corner of your head, maybe you are really in love with him, it's not a crush only.

"Excuse me." a voice brings you back to reality making you jump and then pull away.

A waiter brings you what you requested and this time you pay, even though Joel tried to pay him again but you managed to put him off.

Even a simple gesture as sharing those three plates makes you feel good. You try the onion rings for the first time and you like them, Joel almost claps when you say that dish is good.

"I'm so happy to have you in my life." he tells you when you finished "You brought light into my life." he adds, wrapping your face in his hands and kissing you.

At that moment, the light goes away and you are in the dark. You pull away from his face and squeeze his hand and he returns the squeeze, then a lightning illuminates the dark room and shortly after a thunder echoes in the air.

"I never walked through the rain," Joel says trying to distract you noticing your increased squeeze.

"I've never walked in the rain either," you reply.

"Hey, it's okay." he tells you "You'd like to go to my place waiting for the storm to pass?" he proposes.

At that moment, the light returns and you take it almost as a sign of destiny, you immediately answer him yes; so, you get your stuff and go out. It's not pouring, but it's raining enough. You decide to run in the rain to the SUV and when you're inside you look at each other and notice how wet you both are. You can't help but stare in fascination at his wet face, his soaked hair with raindrops and his clothes equally soaked. It's a tender and funny image at the same time.

He thankfully turns on the warm air so at least part of your hair and clothes dry.

When you arrive in front of his house, there is a flood.

Your hair and clothes drip water profusely, you shudder from the cold once you get inside.

"If you want to take a hot shower, I'll go get you something dry. Sure, it won't be your size, but it's better than having the flu or a cold." he tells you turning on the lights in the hall and for the stairs leading upstairs.

"I don't want to bother you," you say.

"Honey, this is your home." he already told you, but hear it now is different "Feel free to use the bathroom if ya want."

"It doesn't bother you if I go into your bathroom, taking a shower?" you ask him again guardedly.

"No." he replies by taking your face in his hands and placing a kiss on the tip of your nose "Now go and take a shower, I'll have a sweater and pants for ya on my bed." he adds and then disappears.

On his bed? Oh.

When you go upstairs and close the bathroom door behind you, you look around feeling like you're violating Joel's private space, sure he told you to use his bathroom, to take a shower, but you still can't help but feel like an intruder.

You undress completely, leaving your cell phone on a cabinet and taking off all your wet clothes, and then you get into the shower. The jet of hot water hits your icy skin causing you to shake with pleasure mixed with shivers. You can't help but think how much your life has changed in a very short time, the way this man is taking care of you in so many different ways, the way he's making you feel unique and special even though you are not his first and even though you are quite naive for your age.

When you leave, you take a towel and dry yourself.

Then you take your cell phone and go to Joel's room where you find a midnight blue sweater, a pair of gray shorts, and a pair of socks. They are huge compared to your size. However, you slip them on and the result is that the sweater reaches almost mid-thigh just slightly below the shorts and the socks almost to the knee.

You look even smaller than you are.

"My turn," he says, raising his voice to be heard.

"O - okay." you say simply, then you hear the door close and the water jet open.

You bite your lower lip at the thought of Joel in the shower, who knows what he's like in the shower, if he's taking the same pleasure in warming his skin under the hot water, if…

You try to hold back your thoughts about him, and at that moment another lightning rips through the sky, which makes you remember to text your mother. You go to pick up the phone and text her you are sleeping at Gina's tonight and you dinner together. She immediately replies to be careful and lock yourself in. You roll your eyes and after answering with a simple okay, you lock the phone and return to reality.

Joel has just turned off the tap, you clasp your hands, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. Maybe you should have waited for him downstairs, maybe you shouldn't have stayed there in his private space, maybe…. Joel appears with his curly hair tousled, his expression relaxed and wearing a gray T-shirt that clings to his broad chest and wraps around his biceps and a pair of shorts. You look at each other from head to toe and see him swallow.

"Y're so sweet." he tells you after a few moments of silence from both of you.

"Thank you." you say not knowing what to do or say "D' ya feel better after a hot shower?" you add barely sustaining his gaze.

"Yeah." he answers you, but you clearly read in his eyes a desire to want more than just to look at you.

"Joel, um, you didn't have to," you tell him trying to break that moment that is shaking you to the core.

He swallows "Yes, well … don't worry." you see him waver "You'd like … a glass of water, to rest …?"

"I want to be with you," you reply, not letting him complete the possible choices he's offering you.

He looks at you questioningly, raising an eyebrow.

Your heart beats fast, then you add, "I'm not proposing anything. I guess. I mean, I just want to be there for you whether you want to talk or sleep."

He nods, "Okay. Oh, before I forget, your clothes are over there drying."

The idea of being stuck there with him in his house with his clothes on never seemed as good an idea as it does now!

You look at him, "What d' ya want to do?"

He runs a hand through his hair "I just want to sleep, I've been going to bed late for a few nights and waking up at four. Tomorrow is the first day I can get up when I want to." he replies, then looks into your eyes "D' ya wanna sleep with me?"

You already did, sleeping with him. But when it happened you were still two strangers, two people getting to know each other, now you are still getting to know each other it's true, but sleeping next to him, smelling his scent, feeling him so close to you, has a very different meaning.

"Yes," you reply in a whisper, nodding.

You look into each other's eyes for a long moment, then he says as he enters the room "Then I'll give you this T-shirt of mine, I only use it to sleep in." he opens a bedside drawer and hands you a white T-shirt "It's clean." he adds as he looks at you quizzically.

"Thank you." you say taking the T-shirt he's handing you.

"Okay." he replies simply "Um-I'll go get some water downstairs, ya change and if ya want to choose the side of the bed ya want to sleep on." he adds making to leave the room.

"Where do you usually sleep?" you ask him.

"On the left side." he replies.

"Okay, then I'll take the right side," you assert.

He nods "Hurry up, I won't be long." he says and then walks away.

In the process of hearing him get off, you slip off the sweater he lent you and slip on his T-shirt, you have no bra on and you hope he won't notice since he seems to be very tired.

You go around the bed and get under the blankets. Your heart is pounding, you've shared a bed with Joel before, but today it seems so special. He makes you feel good and unique.

You also really appreciate that although he touched you and made you come, he didn't stay while you changed, but gave you some privacy in his private space.

You hear the wood of the stairs creak slightly, then Joel appears in the doorway of the room. He looks cautiously inside, when he realizes you are already lying under the blankets, he enters and closes the door. You see him approach the bed, he gives you a long mute look, then pulls off the blankets and slips in as well.

"G' night." he says to you.

"Good night." you reply.

Outside the thunderstorm continues, you can't sleep: you toss and turn in bed, you think you should allow him to sleep because if he notices you couldn't sleep, he'd probably keep you company or go down on the couch and you don't want him to. It wouldn't be right. You turn to your right side and stare from time to time at the glow that lights up the room, wonder what happened in Joel's past, what destroyed or upset him so much, wonder if you could ever find a way to make him feel better, to help him open up to you, then decide to stop thinking and allow yourself to rest.

The next day, when you wake up, you don't have blankets on you, he surrounds your waist with a mighty arm, and then there is something else to say good morning: his erection is pressed against your buttocks and you feel uncomfortable, you try to move slightly to reduce contact, but his arm holds you even tighter to him, in fact he presses you even harder against him.

You squeeze your eyes shut, that warmth and contact making you shiver.

"Joel?" you call softly, "Joel?" you insist, shaking him gently by the arm and turning toward him so you can see his face. His lips are barely parted, his eyes closed, and a blissful expression on his face. You find yourself thinking for the second time he doesn't look a 47-years-old man at all, but at most a 39 or 40 years-old man. You sigh, sorry to disturb his sleep, but hearing him like this is making you wet in your briefs, you need to create some distance from him "Joel?" you call him again and this time, slowly, he opens his eyes and immediately his dark eyes find yours and he smiles at you "Good morning." you say returning the smile "How did you sleep?" you ask him.

"Fine, g' mornin'." he replies with his voice still half asleep.

You turn with your upper body toward him and behold that tender and tremendously sexy image he's offering you even if unbeknownst to him: his hair completely disheveled, his arm still holding you to him, the bulging veins on his forearm, the still sleepy expression painted on his face.

"How did ya sleep?" he asks, putting his arm behind your head as you turn fully toward him, holding him closer.

"Good." you answer moving a finger along his chest, he places his hand on yours. You feel his heart beating fast against your palm as he wraps his hand around yours and then entwines his fingers with yours.

"I thought I was dreaming," he tells you as he looks at your joined hands.

You smile, "What dream?"

"I thought it was a dream to have ya here with me. In my bed. Close to me." he answers you "I wish ya were always here with me." he adds in a whisper, "Sorry, maybe this is too much." he moves his hand away and gently caresses your face until he runs a hand through your hair and brings your face closer to his.

It's a gentle kiss, so sweet and tender.

You savor his scent, his warmth, his touch, his hand through your hair. Then, his hand rests on your neck without breaking the kiss and slowly goes down to your chest. He almost jumps when he notices you aren't wearing a bra, breaks your kiss and puts his head on the pillow. He looks you in the eye. It's impossible not to realize he'd like to do more, much more.

You look into each other's eyes for a long time, then you do what you already wanted to do last night: you take his hands, noticing in the weak sunlight the cuts, and kiss there where you see the little scars. You see him close his eyes and breathe deeply through his nose, "Joel," you call to him, he opens his eyes again "if I were more experienced, what would you have done?"

"Are ya really asking me 'bout that?" he asks. He's not angry nor disappointed; he seems surprised. You nod, kissing another scar you notice on his left forearm, while his eyes seem to become dark pools.

"Tell me." you invite him to answer without stopping kissing those cuts.

He opens his lips for a second, then closes his eyes and breathes deeply, saying, "I'd undress you and kiss every inch of your body. I'd caress and suck your nipples until you moan my name." hear this shakes you inside "I'd lick your intimacy and gently run two fingers inside you until I get you ready to be fucked," the obscenity of his words would made you blush, but not today; rather, you feel wet and you realize just then you are holding your breath "then I'd fuck you slowly and gently taking all the time in the world to make you come." he adds swallowing.

"Could you, um, teach me?" he moves his head slightly to the side on the pillow "Could you teach me how to make me feel good?" you ask him feeling your cheeks on fire.

"D' ya really want it?" he asks.

You simply nod, not knowing what else to add.

He pounces on your lips as he pushes your head back against the pillow. Your heart is pounding wildly in your chest, when he breaks the kiss you are both breathless. He looks you in the eye, then rests his forehead against yours as you feel one of his hands caressing your bare breasts from under your T-shirt. You groan as you close your eyes, "I love caressing your breasts, they're so soft." he confesses to you, caressing that delicate portion of skin in a languid caress that makes you swallow and then moan softly. He kisses you gently again, then turns on his right side and puts an arm back under your head "I show you." he tells you taking your left hand and bringing it inside your briefs, both of you moaning at the contact with your soaked intimacy, "In time you'll figure out what you like to make you wet and make it easier." he continues in a tone of voice of one who is struggling not to give in to what would have been his true intentions.

"Getting me wet mean I'm getting aroused?" you ask him, becoming even redder in the face.

"Yes." he tells you making his hot breath break against your cheek and making you gasp.

Feel his hand on yours wet with your cum shakes you even more making you throw your head back, "Are you still with me?" he asks you.

You look at his face, see his features distorted with pleasure "Yes." you answer breathlessly.

"All you have to do is touch yourself here." he says, while in the meantime he makes you touch a specific spot of your intimacy that jolts you "Touch yourself. When you feel pressure here," he explains, pulling his hand away from yours for a moment to rest it on your belly, "tell me that I'll help you feel good, okay?"

You nod "Don't leave me." you say, he rests his forehead against your head.

"I won't leave you." he reassures you by kissing one cheek and returning to lay his hand on yours, the room fills with your moans and a few expletives, you try to contain yourself you don't want to look completely desperate, you try to stifle your moans by tightening your lips, but with little result, you involuntarily clench your legs "Honey, y'have to keep them open so you don't hurt yourself." he tells you kissing the corner of your mouth.

"Joel…" you groan "I think I'm going to…" you can't articulate any thoughts, his hand on yours, his breath on your neck, his tender kisses on your earlobe and cheek, his husky voice are enough to bring you already into a world out of the ordinary.

"Are ya already…?" he asks you, looking surprised, but adding nothing more. He makes you take your hand away and he continues, his caress is, like last time, firm and has a much faster pace. You feel yourself in that bubble again, the only thing you can do is squeeze Joel's other hand with one hand and clench the T-shirt he's wearing into a fist as you moan his name.

Shivers of pleasure run through your body. Then, your vision blurs and you close your eyes moaning his name louder and louder feeling your orgasm washes over you.

When the orgasm wanes, you hear him breathing heavily and feel his fingers touch that bundle of nerves gently until pleasure fades away. He kisses your forehead and only then you open your eyes again and find him looking at you, "There you are!" he exclaims with a small smile and making you smile too.

"Am I strange?" you ask him looking into his eye.

"What d' ya mean?"

"Earlier you seemed surprised when I was about to-- Uhm-- " you still have to get used to thinking and saying certain words out loud.

"Coming?" you nod "No, it's your first experiences. It's pretty normal. With time, things will definitely change." he replies.

"Will it be more difficult with time?" you ask him, staying with your hand clasped in his.

"Not difficult, but it'll take a little longer. Then, it also depends on your partner." he explains.

You nod.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks you.

"I'm lucky to have you in my life. You have no idea in how many ways you have saved me, the way you make me feel safe." you answer by bringing your head closer to his neck, he kisses your forehead and rests his head next to yours, he doesn't comment on your words "And what are you thinking about?" you ask him amazed he didn't reply on what you just said.

His face is serious, he remains silent, and it worries you. You squeeze his hand just a little tighter, and he looks up at you as if you want to hear him say what's bothering him.

"I don't know if I'm the right person in your life," you frown and look at him "I mean, I'm much older than you. I've lived everything I had to live, you … you maybe should have had in this bed someone like that little boy you like so much, what's his name? Johnny."

"Never mind his name." you say by sitting on your knees in the middle of the bed turning your gaze toward him "Joel, I'm in this bed with you because I chose to be in this bed with you. It's good for me to be with you. You make me feel important, you make me feel good. When I'm with you, I don't want to be with anyone else," you add.

"Honey," he tells you, stroking your forearm with his fingertips, "I'm fine with you too, but maybe it's not fair you and I went beyond guitar lessons, maybe we should have stayed in our roles, I should never have taken you there to the cabin, I should never have started digging into your life and allowed you into mine and I into yours. I feel guilty for doing that. I feel like this role doesn't belong to me." he says without looking at your face.

"Joel, we're not doing anything illegal, remember?" you tell him, reminding him of a question yourself asked him a long time before "Life is mine and I decide who to share it with." you add and then lean toward him and kiss him, it's a different kiss than before. The rhythm is faster, demanding.

"Baby girl, I'm afraid I'm doing it all wrong with you," he tells you between kisses.

"Sssh shut up." you tell him and then resume kissing him, you take his hands and squeeze them tightly between yours, fingers intertwining. Now yours is a ravenous kiss.

He takes his hands away from yours for a moment and places them on your hips, thrusting you onto him as he too sits in the middle of the bed with you on him. On contact with his arousal you both moan.

You run your hands through his mussed hair as you both find yourselves breathlessly facing each other.

"D' you still think you are making a mistake with me?" you ask him.

"Yes." he replies feebly.

You dare, you don't know if you will make a mistake, if he will like it, if it will bother him, but you dare.

You kiss him gently on his lips, then leave light kisses along his jaw line feeling the unmade beard pinch against your lips, then go down slowly along his neck and feel him hold his breath.

"Does it bother you?" you ask him inhaling his scent closing your eyes for a moment.

"No, you're a natural, little girl," he replies holding his breath.

"What can I do to change your mind, Joel?" you ask him taking the reverse route.

"You're playing with fire, baby girl." he replies without really answering you by clasping his hands on your hips just a little tighter.

Your skin is covered with shivers, you clench in your shoulders not to show him the power he has over you even though you are in charge right now and especially not to blush at this sort of threat from him. You don't know exactly what the next move is, but you don't want Joel to leave you, you don't want what has been created between you to be broken and for each of you to return to your own lives. Right now go back to that life, to that useless monotonous life, you had it hurts you.

"Since I met you" you tell him giving him a lip-smacking kiss "my life has finally made sense." you go on giving him another one "Please" you say giving him another kiss "don't leave me." you add giving him another kiss and this time he captures your lips between his. He kisses you, wrapping you completely in his arms and pressing your torso even more against his. You wish this kiss would not end or, rather, would lead to the next step, but he stops. His eyes are glazed over, his lips swollen with kisses and his breath short.

"Y're beautiful." he says, gently stroking the back of your neck and running a hand through your hair. If only you were more experienced and Joel a more selfish man, he would have released his erection, removed your briefs and fucked you properly, but Joel is not like that.

"Don't be afraid, Joel. I'm not. If I'm with you," you tell him stroking his cheeks gently.

You see him close his eyes and tighten his lips, then he sighs heavily and looks into your eyes "I wanted to show you something last night, well-- it was supposed to be a surprise, but the storm messed things up a bit." he tells you still giving your hips a gentle squeeze and then motioning for you to move "Wait here. It's a surprise. When I tell you, close your eyes, okay?" he says as he leaves the room.

You are out of breath, wishing for more, but maybe that's enough for now.

Now all you can do is wait for his surprise.

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mojo-chojo · 1 year

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i don’t think anyone is interested or anyone asked but have my pfp evolution thru the years

let’s start with my 1st pfp on this forsaken site of 2016 [ibis paint - used a finger to draw because this is pre-apple pencil era and i didnt have any stylus wtf was wrong with me]

2019 idk why tumblr saturates cmyk pictures so much i swear it’s not this vibrant [photoshop - but i have no idea what im doin]

2020 i got a bit more active again [photoshop - i finally got used to it]

2021 i never used this but i thought it would be fun to have a grandma ver (also i got invited into a discord server and got assigned to the position of god and then i declined since i’m just a worshipper and then got promoted from god to grandma) [clip studio paint - got used to it a bit after doin my whole thesis on it]

(additional fullbody design)

actual icon i used

2022 cut my hair and shaved my head because i stole recks au mumbo’s gender [clip studio paint - got properly used to it but i still don’t know what i’m doin]

(additional fullbody redesign sketches)

(additional art for masterpost) [procreate]

2023 my bf keeps helpin me shave my head but damn why u grow so fast stop it [clip studio paint - why does csp have so many oddly specific functions that can save your life]

(additional masterpost art - too many details for pfp icon)

2024 cut my hair and my pfp needs an update as well [clip studio paint - got so many clippys lets gooo for once i actually got them all woooo]

#mojo chojo #mojo brain juice #my art

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outofthiisworld · 2 months

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8, 4, 3!

8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

👽// I’ve been doin real good stayin in my lil corner so thankfully not much bugs me rn, buuut:

double space formatting :’’) hurts my brain and bums me out when i see a cool blog but cant read anything oooooough (people can do what they want go nuts but im wailing in agony /lh)

the treatment of oc’s still reeks tbh. this is a big one for me— even if someone’s rules says they're friendly to oc’s, but then go off about a checklist on what a oc writer and muse should do and have then no thank u tbh. u—u (there's a big difference between preferences vs just being a bit hateful)

couldn’t think of a third thing weeeehehehee <3

4. How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?

OH BOY—!!! super depends on who I’m talking to.

Thankfully, all my friends off-site are very chill + supportive + creatives themselves, so it's much easier for me to casually talk to them about rp’ing! I uh usually keep it at that tho cause i get a lil shy about it ngl fgsdfgds

Anyone else has gotten the classic “Oh, I just do some writing here and there for fun <3” — my folks recently had gotten the explanation of “oh I write with other people online and they share their writing with me :0” to which they thought that's cool so yippee!!

3. What current rp trend do you hate?

BUUH … genuinely there isn’t much that really grinds my gears (you know except double spacing dsfsdf).

A million years ago, blog themes used to be full of a ton of graphics that made navigating pages very difficult cause the links would blend in with the graphics, so whenever I still see that I double take (and quickly find the button to make it turn into mobile format)

#👽 … ooc #🎤 … asks #hellzcominwithme #//thank u for the ask!! :3c

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pumpkinheadspacestation · 1 year

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I'm a diabetic little nd I been takin care of it on my own since I was little and I have type one nd, recently I been thinkin bout a cg doin it fer me

(If you have medical trauma or are sensitive to medical related things or diabetes related things please scroll now)

Site: a spot for a insulin pump

Pod: Omnipod, an insulin pump

Bloods/bg: blood glucose

Dexcom/cgm: continuous glucose monitor

Insulin: a hormone created by your pancreas to control glucose in your body

Little baby is low and very smol:

"Aww, hi, babyyy~ how old are you right now?" I hold up just one finger and curl up in bed, sucking on my paci then bub comes over and scoops me up, cuddling me "aww, sweet pea, do you feel okay? You're shivering an awful lot" I huff at him and pout before he kisses my forehead and checks his phone, looking at my blood sugar "hm yup, it looks like your blood sugar is a bit low, lovie, what do you want for a snack?" I whine and shake my cuppy "do you want some juice, little one?" I nod and he lays me back down on da bed while he goes and gets me some juice. "Here we go, tiny baby, I put it in a bottle too because you're much too small to drink from a sippy cup" I rub my eyes then take the bottle as dada scoops my up and cuddles me again, making sure I drink all the juice to bring my bloods up before I fall asleep

Toddler is upset by site change and high blood sugar:

I stomp and pout "Nooo! I don wan t change my sitteee!" "Baby, you've had your pod off for a while, you'll feel icky and sick if you don't change it, dada can help you too, little one" I huff and tear up then dit on the bed next to me dada "I don't wannaaa, dada!" I whine "I know, sweet prince but we need to change it okay?" I huff and nod "can we check your blood sugar while we have all the things out, baby?" I nod again, still pouting as bub takes my finger and wipes it before pricking it and holding it to the meter, once it looks it reads 487(md/lg) "oh my goodness, sweet boy, your sugars are really high, let's get a new site on you and check for keytones too okay?" I don't wanna do it but I nod. He helps me change my site, wiping my leg and filling the syringe and filling my pod, priming it them putting it on and holding my hand before the 1... 2.. 3... Pop! And it's in. I tear up again and he hugs me "it's okay, sweet boy". He helps me do a correction and soon after the insulin kicks in, I start feeling better "dank wu, buba"

Or even as simple as having to have a shot because I have keytones and my blood sugar is too high like him giving me my shot then letting me pick out a cute kiddy bandaid then kissing it better because I was so tough and brave and it hurt.

Or going out in public over the summer time for the few weeks I take a pod break and having him help me wiv m shots when I tiny

It seem like liddol m wouwd be very happy becauses I always had t do it by mine self when I was a liddol kid nd havin a dada hewp make me feel really smaw an loved an safes

Okay bye bye lov u aww, tanks fer readin

#sfw littlespace #age regression community #agere little #sfw age regressor #sfw smolspace #sfw age regression #sfw agere #caregiver #diabetic regressor #chronically ill regressor

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everydaygremlin · 4 months

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sometimes you see someon you follow on tumblr on a different site and its Odd As Fuck. like what r u doin outside of my dash lmao

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steddielovechild · 1 year

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have been doin cam girl streams recently so. absolutely fire fic idea:

modern wolfstar au

remus and sirius grew up together. they're best friends. duh. the usual "hogwarts was their boarding school- the whole group met there" bs.

BUT OOHOOOHHHH BOY!!! sirius starts making jokes abt becoming a cam boy

remus is like "ughhh *eye roll* lol u wouldnt..." but secretly is like "shit that's like. a pretty good idea tho..." but ofc he'd never say that

now sirius starts telling EVERYONE that he's a cam boy. absolutely no one believes him even a little bit. but guess what! he's not lying!

remus continues to indulge in the daydream of possibly beginning to stream HIMSELF and... he gives in. he does it. he makes a silly little account on a silly little streaming platform.

now here's where it gets fun: SIRIUS AND REMUS FIND EACH OTHER ON THE WEBSITE.

just imagine how SURPRISED they'd both be. and obviously they're in love so it brings on A LOT of feelings LIKE IMAGINE THE DESPERATION (not even sexually. i refuse to write smut ever. my smut is between girls ALWAYS.) AND ASSUMPTIONS AND DRAMA???? like they just wanna be together...

and the JEALOUSY? the PROTECTIVENESS??? the ASSERTIVENESS?????

"bro why r u so protective over me lmao it's kinda weird..." "no reason man idk..." "..." ".........." "u in love w me or smth?"

and sirius having to teach remus how to USE CAM SITES??? so so funny. BECAUSE IT'S HARD. THAT SHIT IS SO HARD. fucking cam sites man.

"guys, remus and i are on cam sites TOGETHER!" "ok so is this your weird way of telling us you finally got together or...?"

there is so much silly potential here guys.

#wolfstar #maurauders era #fanfic #cam boy #archive of our own #the potential #someone draw this

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texaschainsawmascara · 9 months

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viewing the recall list on the Trader Joe’s site makes me never want to eat again like how can u possibly have a Hepatitis A outbreak in ur fruit blend what r y’all doin to the fruit

#😐

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holly-fixation · 2 years

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An Astral Myth: Chapter 2

Summary: Cloud Strife is an engineering student at Midgar U, who decided to take art history as an elective because it was the only good option left. But when an assignment on an “obscure god” (nothing Shiva or he gets stabbed with an ice pick) causes repeated dreams of swirling pink clouds in a blue sky, Cloud has to find out what it means. And the best place to start: seeing the statue for himself. He never expected the statue to be the god and himself.

Inspired by this art by @hueyoart and the concept by @ehrenyu on Twitter.

Please Enjoy!

Chapter 2: The Chances

Cloud had to keep it together. He had to treat it like a normal day. He was already behind, having wasted the entire previous night researching mistranslations of the mythology instead of starting the homework he and Barret would usually collaborate on.

“You really couldn’t start the problem last night? You doin’ okay, spikey?” The genuine concern from the earlier conversation still rang in his mind. It still felt so weird coming from him. “You're usually better than that.”

No he was not doing okay but there was no way to explain his peculiar predicament when his friend couldn't see the flaming ball in the sky that wasn't the sun.

“Yeah, I'm alright, just a really bad headache yesterday,” Cloud’s lie echoed louder, and he rubbed his eyes for the third time this trip. “And today. Think I'm getting sick. I bought some Nyquil this morning.”

“Well I’ll give you credit for preparing,” Barret gave a soft chuckle and a playful shove. “Don't worry, I heard this one’s an easy one.”

He nodded, genuinely thankful for the news. But too much was on his mind, both then and now. No news outlets spoke about the streak’s sudden appearance, and he couldn't find any information online. Although he didn’t have a lot of time to check between classes and homework, he figured some information would be circulating the internet by now, besides the conspiracy theory sites which always shouted gloom and doom. No one posted anything that wasn’t obviously photoshopped.

“You know, you really shouldn’t cross the street while looking at your phone,” the friend he forgot he was walking with chimed caringly.

Now Cloud quickly shook his head and turned off the screen, disappointed in himself. “Sorry, Tifa.” They always walked back to the apartment complex together on Fridays, and to her it was such a nice day to do so. How could he possibly forget?

“You’re looking up, you’re looking down,” She mentioned before tilting her head and raising her eyebrows. Cute. “What’s on your mind?”

“Sorry. Just sick.” He moved his eyes away from her, to the nameless strangers weaving through the streets, and adjusted the bag on his shoulder. He needed to minimize the effect her gaze had on him. Sick in the head, maybe.

Now she shook her head of black hair. “You’re not a good liar, Cloud.” He couldn’t see the look she was giving him that she was absolutely giving him. “Really, Cloud…” Oh not that tone. Now he felt guilty, rubbing the back of his neck to soothe his own anxiety. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

He sighed softly in defeat. “I think I just need some sleep.” Gods, he really was a bad liar.

She pursed her lips, nearly pouting, before dropping the expression. Oh no, that’s so much worse. She did not believe him. “Okay. Fine. But you better tell me if it doesn’t, or I will go ‘mama behemoth’ on you.”

Cloud bewilderedly met her gaze at the insane concern in her remark. “What?! Why?!”

“I’ll show up at your door with every home remedy I know,” She threatened, a sparkle of determination in her crimson eyes and a finger pointed at him. “And you will take all of it, even if I need to duct tape you to a chair. Then I will stay with you to make absolutely sure you rest. Got it?”

He turned away again, the intensity of her gaze too much for his weakened state. “Fine,” He sighed, “I’ll keep you updated.”

She gave a small smirk in victory. He didn’t need to see her face to recognize the change in her posture and walk. Still, he scanned the streets mindlessly, though consciously keeping his gaze away from the sky.

But then his throat hitched.

It was the same man, same cup of coffee, same posture, maybe a different suit. The silver haired man identical to the god he saw in his dream. Except this time he was staring back at Cloud from across the street. It wasn’t a passing glance, neither one of them looked away for seconds. That comforting dread settled like a weighted blanket on his shoulders and chest. Just as Cloud was about to break eye contact to hopefully stop the feeling, the other man gestured up with two flicks of his head and eyes. Cloud followed the signal to the sky. To the streak.

He could see it too, and recognition cursed Cloud’s expression. But now the man was walking toward him- oh gods he’s trying to approach.

Cloud immediately turned to Tifa, desperate to avoid this entire situation. “So what’s your trip plan for the concert this weekend?”

It worked, because Tifa immediately lit up and filled the air with her song-like voice, her excitement and endless river of details more than enough to keep the stranger away, as Cloud watched him through glances out of the corner of his eye and nodded with smirks at the appropriate times. She’d been telling him about this coming weekend for at least a month, and he banked on her unfading joy, even with the hint of sorrow that he couldn’t join. He watched the man turn back in the original direction, away from them. He never told her anything about the man the entire way back, just smiled and nodded tiredly at her joy, with the occasional sarcastic comment to try to make her laugh.

* * *

With enough homework completed to finally breathe, Cloud slouched over his laptop and tried, for the final time today, to find anyone else talking about the streak. Instead of the news this time, he tried social media. When was the last time he opened Warker? Thank gods no one followed him because he had way too many suggestions to scroll through. Hell he still had his old chocobo plushie profile pic, the one he set up as a joke when he was twelve. That was a memory he could’ve lived without. His stupid account name still seemed 'okay': @Cloud_S_N. It was supposed to read as Cloud Strife from Nibelheim, but nowadays it sounded like a cloud server to save all your data and passwords in. Okay, the best way to find info would be… skyscapes? If anyone didn’t want their photos being mocked for insanity, they would probably post it like a normal picture with a normal caption. Then he checked the most recent photos under the tag, and scrolled down with tired but determined eyes.

Then it hit him. What were the chances he could find that businessman's account from only his description?

Only one way to find out.

He opened another tab to the same website, then a third to a general Moogle search bar. Though how would he find him? He tried searching by description alone, long silver haired with a black suit, and found absolutely nothing. Then he opened a forum about Cetra mythology. Found a sub-forum about the god itself. As he finally started scrolling through the various questions and discussions, his eyes fell on a title he needed. His heart sank.

To all the people that have physically seen ‘Reunion’ (since something is wrong with photos), doesn't he look familiar?

Perfect. He clicked on the post and read the top result.

Doesn’t he kind of look like the CEO of JENOVA Industries’s son? The one from those magazines a few years ago? Sephora or something?

No.

There was no way it was that easy. The same company name as the god’s mother? He opened Moogle and filled in the company.

No.

Then clicked on the CEO’s biography page.

It Cannot be that easy.

Then clicked on the ‘Family Legacy’ tag.

...is this some kind of twisted joke?

It was him. No doubt in his mind. The man from the street. The god from his dreams. Apparently his mother was the CEO of the only company partnered with Shinra that could even rival them some day, and he was already a high level manager: Sephiroth Crescent.

This is...way too obvious. This can't be true. Yet all the comments on the forum agreed. The absurdity. The infinitesimal probability. The cosmic chances.

Fuck.

Breath forced its way into Cloud's lungs. He needed to stay calm for the sake of not wasting the entire day again. Maybe this manager has a Warker account? His fingers moved before he even gave the command. Success. His account was still active. Now he had to hope some intern didn’t run it, so he could actually communicate with the man himself.

Then he saw it.

Two posts down, posted at 7 AM: a picture of the sky, with the only caption being a sky blue comet emoji. With the streak. All the comments spoke of the beautiful simplicity, the color comparison, color theory, or some other artsy crap to sound fancy. It quickly devolved into comments about his looks even though he wasn’t in the photo. Gods. It must suck dealing with those people. But Cloud knew the truth behind the photo. Cloud hoped maybe he knew too. He had to.

This is possibly the dumbest idea Cloud has ever had. He clicked the option to direct message this man, left the chat box open, and leaned back in his chair, deep in thought. What the hell does he say? He saw him outside the museum twice? That when he tried to approach him, he socially got the hell out of there? That he was basing all of this off of a random cursed statue? For one stupid assignment in a class he didn’t even like?! He shook his thoughts off quickly and typed before he could form another thought or anxiety seized his hands.

Cloud_S_N: Do you see a streak in this sky photo?

He attached the link and hit enter before he thought about anything, before the anxiety of his impulsive decision kicked in. Now he had to wait, his eyes watching the clock on his screen which annoyingly didn’t even show seconds, making the moment last even longer in his mind. If this was some stranger, he would brush all this anxiety away like eraser shavings. But if this really was the man, possibly the god, then there were too many questions drowning his thoughts. Maybe it was an overreaction, socially running away with Tifa. Maybe it wasn't necessary. Maybe denial was a bad idea and he should take more deep breaths and count to ten to regulate his heartbeat and growing panic. He closed his eyes and followed that instruction.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Oh dear gods he forgot to talk to Aerith and Zack. Gods he's a terrible friend. He immediately whipped out his phone and messaged them both using the same chat as the night before, with the still unread messages from them both.

Aerith: Thank Gods. Please talk to me when you’re ready. Or even when you’re not ready.

Zack: Just let us know that you’re okay, alright?

Maybe he should get ‘bad friend’ tattooed on his forehead after all the worrying he put them through. He shifted in the chair and finally responded.

Cloud: I’m okay. Sorry I was really busy today. Can either of you meet tomorrow night? It’ll be easier to explain in person.

And so there was no chance of Tifa popping up. If there was one person on this planet he didn’t want to scare away, it was her, even if the cause of his insane situation was all in his head. Except for the statue, of course. Then another bubble popped up.

Aerith: Absolutely! Should we meet at your place?

Cloud paused at that. Where should they meet? Then his eyes glazed over as the only logical location cursed his mind.

Cloud: Let's meet outside the museum at 5?

Zack: I'm down.

Aerith: We'll see you there, Cloud. Stay safe!

A small smile appeared when his eyes scanned the message.

Cloud: Thanks, Guys. See you then.

He dropped his phone on his desk and leaned back in the chair, trying to gain one more moment to himself and organize his rapid thoughts. Then he heard a bubble pop from his laptop. Oh Gods he responded. And now that he did, the usernames changed to just the first names on their separate accounts.

Sephiroth: Are you the blonde from main street?

Cloud answered immediately, not a second passing between the response and his own.

Cloud: I am.

Sephiroth: Prove it.

He didn't even think. He just opened the camera on his laptop, took a photo of the sky, circled the streak with the editing tool, and sent it back. Then a few more seconds of tense silence passed. Dear gods, what was this man thinking? Was this manager going to show up on the doorstep and kill him? Cloud hoped with everything he had that this man did not currently own a sword.

Another bubble from his computer blooped.

Sephiroth: We should meet. In person and in public. There’s this restaurant near the student center that should suffice.

This guy even attached a location link for Cloud to map it out. It seemed public enough, with outside seating straight along the sidewalk of mainstreet. He knew this corner of the road well, there wasn’t a single more public place near campus.

Cloud: When?

Sephiroth: Sunday at noon. Meet at the restaurant.

Cloud: Got it.

Cloud wasn’t sure how to end the conversation so he left it at that. It seemed to be enough, because the manager did not respond again. He leaned back into his chair like mud falling into a heap on the ground, dread settling in his chest. He might have a chance for answers, but it only raised more questions. Did he know anyone who owned body armor? Just in case this manager finished this ‘reunion’ by stabbing him through the heart at the restaurant? Should he bring his own weapon? Tifa probably had pepper spray as a safety precaution. Maybe Aerith did too? And she could lend it to him? He needed to prepare for this. Then it hit him, like a punch to the gut.

He should do more research tonight. He could prepare tomorrow.

Last time, he passed out after the adrenaline from his panic attack fizzled. But how many more mistranslations was he willing to read through before lost it? Okay, one last shot. He told himself he would not look at any information on this god tomorrow or Sunday before the meeting. With a few clicks, all of his tabs opened once again. Where the hell did he leave off? He took a breath. It was time to get back to it. He started skimming the first website to find his place, rereading every section offered.

Translations and transcriptions differ greatly on the reason Jenova came to Gaia. Some claim it was curiosity, stating we are one of the few planets with life in the cosmos. Others say she landed by accident, and our people accepted her as a new God, worshiping and praising as she wished.

Something shifted within him, his gut turning and his eyes squinting. It wasn't either, it was both. He blinked rapidly, staring dumbfounded at the screen with his lips parted in confusion. He knew the difference. He knew what the correct past was, ever so deep in his subconscious. Maybe because the streak now stained the sky? Nothing else had changed.

He would stay true to the deal he made to himself, but Cloud spent yet another night researching the myth that now haunted his life.

* * *

Aerith slowly drummed her fingers on her bicep with meticulous rhythm, her red jacket softly muffling the consistent cadence. It was Saturday night. She was leaning against one of the stone pillars at the entrance of the museum, her face as focused as a laser on absolutely nothing, a pinpoint of empty air. Cloud was absolutely not okay. He was a silent sufferer, and he would only tell them to meet like this if something happened with the statue. The statue she suggested he look at. Though she was most likely about to find out, she couldn’t help the silent theories echoing in her mind.

“You have your thinking face on,” her boyfriend tried to pull her from her thoughts, watching her intense gaze and trying to cheer her up with a small chuckle. Then she really didn't react, and Zack leaned into her vision, locking his eyes with hers, and waved. “Helloooo.”

She couldn’t help but be pulled back by their little inside joke, but she only let him know that by tapping his nose playfully. They both laughed, then he held the offending hand in his own, rubbing her palm with his thumb.

“You’re worried,” He explained with a serious expression, and then a soft tilt of his head. “You’re never worried like this.”

She took a breath, shaking off the feeling quickly before answering, “I told Cloud that maybe seeing that statue would help. I’m not beating myself up, but I just want to know what got him so worked up.”

“You and me both.” He nodded in agreement before leaning next to her, pushing his hair back as he rested his head against the cool stone. Another second of calm quiet passed through them like a gust of wind.

“Thank you for coming,” She spoke suddenly and gained the most confused look from Zack as a result, making her giggle and pull her free hand up to hover in front of her mouth. “Really. You know how Cloud is.”

“Hey,” He feigned offense, leaving his mouth open and placing a hand over his heart to make her laugh again. “You never have any trouble with him.”

She playfully rolled her eyes. “You’ve been friends for years. I won’t try to beat that.”

“Don't.”

She slowly leaned away from the pillar to give him a puzzled look, and she saw the smirk he desperately tried to hide seep through his features.

“You’d win,” Zack finished, and she shoved him in the shoulder as both of them grew small smiles. Then when Zack’s eyes returned to the streets, he saw the blonde in question and waved.

Zack saw Cloud take a final tense breath before approaching them both. It was time to enter the museum.

Thanks for reading!

#ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy vii #sephiroth #cloud strife #jenova #zack fair #tifa lockhart #final fantasy 7 #aerith gainsborough #thanks for reading!! hope you enjoy!!

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