Tumgik
#( i feel like i could have done better with this but i've been working on it for hours already )
Text
Warm Blood
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Gale / Astarion x F! Tav
(Warm Water part 3, can be read alone)
18+ miscommunication, misplaced anger, sex as a tool, yearning, confessed feelings, urgent sex, restraint, dom Gale, oral (f!), fingering (f!), masturbation (m!), marking, a little silliness
With a sanguine competitor now circling with the large druid, Gale can no longer put off his advances...
Masterlist, Prev Chapter
-
She hissed gently as he readjusted his hold. He would have to find a new vein it seemed. Even with him closing her wounds, their nightly feeding sessions left her skin tender to touch.
Her generosity staggered him. His body feeling far better in these last few weeks than it had in centuries. Lithe and strong. The bone aching cold he had resigned himself to thawed by her warm blood, her molten body pressed against his when he fed. Her rich blood nourishing him to his core.
Though, their arrangement made him uncomfortable on a fundamental level. She not only didn't gain anything in this exchange, she actively lost something. It was too unbalanced, and he'd be a fool if he thought the other shoe wasn't poised to drop. She would want something in return eventually, and there was only one thing he could offer.
Taking slow mouthfuls, he wound his hands around her waist. Kneading the flesh languidly.
It had baffled him when she had politely turned him down at the tiefling party. She was so handsy and touch driven, he was sure seducing her would have been rather easy. Though, there was still time. As far as he could tell she wasn't tied to anyone yet, though there were several circling already.
He slid the movements of his mouth from purely practical to sensual. Kissing and suckling gently as he drank.
She hummed, stroking his hair through her fingers.
Finding that encouraging, he slid one hand around her hip. The other rising to her ribcage, heading north.
She froze then. "Astarion, what are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?" He purred, licking her wound closed with far more tongue than needed. Dragging a flat line up her neck. "Tasting you, darling."
"Why?" Her tone genuinely curious.
He scoffed, pulling back. "What do you mean why? You're beautiful."
"I am, but that doesn't answer my question."
Gods she was aggravating. Heat rose to his neck, her blood fueling the rush.
"Is it so unbelievable that I would want you? You must know your company is highly sought after." He tried for more compliments to loosen her up. But no dice.
"Huh, interesting." She narrowed her eyes slightly at him, lips pursing in thought. "So it's out of obligation."
He threw his hands up, eyes rising to the roof of his tent. His frustration breaking his mask.
"Of course it's out of obligation!"
Far too late, he realized what he said. Eyes lowering to hers slowly. Anxiety throttling his spine.
She only tilted her head at him slightly.
"It's okay. You don't have to, Astarion." She held her hand palm up. "Are you still hungry?"
He blinked at her. Anger flaring through him again. Though for what he couldn't pinpoint.
"So I just drink you dry every night, and you get nothing in return?" He retorted.
"How do you figure I get nothing out of this?" She asked in that aggravating curious tone, not matching his anger at all.
"Gods, don't give me that." His voice rose, standing and starting to pace. "That's not how the world works! There is give and take, and all I've done is take!"
She watched him continue to tirade quietly, appearing to just be listening. Somehow, that made him more heated.
Soon he slowed, his rant winding down. She watched patiently, open and waiting for him.
"Are you ready to hear what I think?" The question genuine and not rhetorical.
He huffed, breath still hard from his efforts.
"Fine. What?" He sniped, aware that he was being childish but too wound up to stop.
"I think you and I have a lot more in common than you realize, and I think I understand more than you give me credit for."
She paused, gathering her thoughts. "When all you get from people is pain, that's what you come to find in them. Even when it's not there. And when you don't get it, it's frightening. Yes?"
The air vanished from his lungs. Her eyebrows raised slightly, seeing that she had gotten through to him.
"In the Underdark, the only hand that reached for you was painful." She pulled up her sleeve, the tapestry of scars criss-crossing her dark skin revealed to him. "So that's what you naturally associate touch with. Anger. Fear of the flesh is survival."
She smoothed her fingers in a self soothing arc across the deep tissue. "You think I seek out touch because I'm naive, or even easy."
She looked up at him, those topaz eyes cutting straight through him. "But I know pain, Astarion. Intimately. I understand deeply why you have come to where you are, why you need to push others away. It's safe that way, yeah?"
He could only nod.
"You're right. It is safer." She conceded, smiling. Pulling her sleeve down. "Can't fault you for that. But I'm greedy, I want more than just safe. And touch is so much more than pain when you let it be."
His jaw clenched, biting back the lump that had risen in his throat. Wanting to retort, but finding no words that could validate him.
His hand shot forward, pulling her into him. Her soft lips sliding against his. Pulsing out his frustration into her plush mouth, needing so much more than he had taken.
She kissed him back tenderly, saying her piece. Not falling into his angry pit for a moment. Her soft touch in clear defiance to his inciting.
He pulled away, hearing footsteps approaching.
"Everything alright? I heard shouting." Gale lifted the flap of his tent. Making eye contact with her punctured throat with clear distaste.
"It's okay, thank you for checking." She responded warmly.
Astarion glared at him over her shoulder, the wizard giving him an equally leveling look.
"I think we could use some space, actually." She said impartially, turning to him. "Are you okay to stop for the night? I could give you a few bottles."
He sighed, rolling his eyes. "I think I can manage not withering away without this copious doting, darling."
She patted his arm, nodding. "I'll bring the bottles."
"Has anyone ever told you you're infuriating?"
She only smiled at him, turning to take Gale's upturned hand. Rising out of his tent. The flap falling closed on him alone again.
He flopped face down, groaning.
-
After she quietly dropped off two bottles of blood at the entertance to the crimson tent, Gale took her small warm hand in his. Leading her to the view overlooking the edge of the city. They were so close, the precipice at their fingertips.
She sighed wistfully, pulling him to sit with her on the grass.
"Baldur's Gate." She mused dreamily. "I wonder if it's as awful as I've heard."
He barked out a laugh. "Oh, I'm sure it's just atrocious. We're sure to hate it."
She laughed too, then gave a little thoughtful wince. "Ooh, Halsin is definitely going to hate it."
He was sure the druid was a fine person, but given his leanings, Gale was less concerned.
"Well, he can always stay outside. Who knows how much room our new camp will have anyway..."
She rolled her eyes at him, knocking her knee against his.
He caught her knee in his hand before she could pull it back. Rubbing his thumb in slow circles.
She slid up flush to him easily, leaning her head into the curve his shoulder.
"How are you feeling?" She whispered, the backs of her knuckles gently knocking on his chest.
"Ah, that." He chuckled, slightly embarrassed at her concern. "Oh, you know. Heartache is nothing new to me."
She leaned her head back and sighed dramatically at his joke, the edge of a smile on her lips.
"Just awful. I'm never asking again." She shook her head in solemn jest.
"Oh, please do. The healing touch of your disdain is tantamount to mending my heart."
He paused then, nerves fraying. The smell of his lavender in her hair bolstering him in a soft smile.
"I have been meaning to speak to you. About matters of the heart."
She turned to him, topaz eyes bright in the moonlight. Thick spirals of dark hair cascading down her back. Gods, she was so beautiful it made him dizzy.
He turned his gaze to the ground, picking up a smooth stone and turning it over in his palm. Having something to touch always helped him think.
"I've come to fancy you. Quite a lot. Though this is not the proper way I would have preferred to court you. In the dirt and blood." He sighed, wishing things were different.
"You must know you're... you're very special to me. I hope I'm special to you too, but if I'm misguided just say the word and I'll back off."
The words tumbled out of him, a vexing blush rising to his cheeks. Feeling like a school boy confessing a crush.
Her body shifted, standing on knees. In one fluid motion she hooked her leg around and straddled his lap. Bringing his eyes to hers in a hand tenderly cupping his face.
His breath was entirely taken, dropping the stone he had been holding with a soft thunk.
"Took you long enough." She teased, her dimpled smile making his heart rush.
"I fancy you too, Gale. And I'd like to show you that, if you'll let me." She hushed, her body heat radiating into his torso.
He could only nod, all blood rushing away from unimportant higher functions. Hands gripping her wide hips in a groan, the sensation far better than he ever could have imagined.
Her hands wound into his hair, pushing a heady kiss into him with a little whimper.
His eyes rolled up into his lids, just the kiss sending him under. Hand rising to the small of her back. Her lips pulsing into his with slick need. Tongue dancing along the seam of his lips in question.
He opened happily, a hungry moan leaving him when their tongues twisted. Both hands palming her ass greedily. The ample globes of flesh kneading in his fingers, her smothered mewl sending impossibly more blood to his already straining cock.
All of her touch spun around him in a lustful haze, far too much and not nearly enough.
He pulled his shirt over his head in a whip, only leaving her lips for a single moment. Her hands finding his trousers, palming him over his sleep pants.
"Fuck," He hissed, it felt too good already. Precum pooling far too soon for his liking. His body touch starved and hungrier than it had any right to be. Trying to force the tunnel vision of promised release open again.
He pushed forward, twisting her down onto her back. His hands rising under her sleep shirt to caress the unbearably soft curve of her waist.
"By the Weave..." He muttered, her body far too intoxicating. Cock throbbing insistently.
He felt completely lost, head nothing but liquid desire. Leaning down to kiss sloppily along her waist. Pushing her shirt up to her clavicle.
She squirmed under him, breath fast pants. Pulling his hair back in a fist, watching him with lust blown eyes and kiss swollen lips.
Gods, how was he already close. He couldn't be this down bad, could he?
Oh who was he kidding, of course he was.
He pulled her bralette down, her breasts springing free. A growl vibrated in his chest at the sight, gripping the front of the band, pulling it down onto her ribs.
He pulled back to slip her leggings off of her, revealing her arching hips, hip bones sliding underneath. Thighs wide and plush, dipping into her hips. Her legs falling back open, the curve of her ass teasing under her. Slick pooling from her gleaming cunt.
"Oh, come on..." He huffed, just the sight stroking down his cock in a rush. "That's not fair."
"You're one to talk. Why do you look like that wizard?" She scoffed. "All those muscles, for what? Seducing poor quivering maidens in the grass..."
"Oh, we'll get to the quivering." He smiled dangerously, leaning down to lick a stripe up her hip bone.
She whined, arching her hips up more into his mouth. The heat coming off of her cunt soaking his clavicle.
Gods below and above spare him.
Trailing his mouth down, his cock twitched in anticipation. His practiced mouth about to be seated where it longed to be. Where it belonged.
He breathed in a deep pull of her, nose nuzzling into her curls. Gods, she was divine. Her sweet musk making his mouth salivate. Truly he had been deprived before this moment.
Her hips starting rolling impatiently, and he pushed a forceful hand flat to her lower belly in response. No, he was going to savor this.
She moaned under his hold, bringing a smile to his lips. So she liked it like that...
He breathed a warm wave of air on her cunt, watching it twitch in what he knew was a clench in a devious smile.
"You bastard..." She groaned, the need apparent in her voice sending a shiver down his back.
"Language..." He chuckled. The lack of touch making her writhe deliciously under his hold.
"I'll show you language." She scoffed.
Grabbing both sides of his face she pulled his eyes up to hers.
"Bite me, choke me. Hold me down and spit in my mouth. Tongue fuck me like a whore, wizard."
His pelvis clenched, eyes rolling up into the back of his head. Hand clawing into her thigh.
"Oh Gods." He groaned, finally diving on her cunt.
He lapped his tongue in undulating waves, slurping her clit into his lips.
"Fuck!" She cried out, gripping his hair hard in her fist.
He suckled down hard, suctioning his lips around the bundle. Tongue pulsing wet curved pulls. Hands keeping her thighs forced open as they tried to clamp shut around his head.
Her high keening whines melded beautifully with the slurping sounds of his hungry mouth.
Her hips bucked helplessly against his hands, ribs arching up. Only the underside of her jaw visible above him.
He smiled into her cunt, releasing one thigh and pushing his forearm into the apex of her thighs. A bar holding her open still, his two fingers sliding slowly into her. Humming into her clit in pleasure, fingers spreading eagerly into the velvet slick pouring up into his palm.
Her head shot up, staring down at him almost in disbelief. Hand bracing her at her side.
When he began strong and slow thrusts of his fingers, her head fell back sharply. Voice only mewling calls. Thoroughly tamed, warm and pliant under his devotion.
He knew this was as close to the heavens as he had ever gotten. Harnessing all of his senses to bottle this into his everlasting memory. Though he imagined it would be very hard to forget.
He curved his fingers up, stroking that ridged bump in hard thrusts. Clamping down on her clit again, lapping his tongue in hollow pulls, like slurping soup.
"Oh Gods," She whined.
He groaned hot into her, chasing her hips up as they tried to squirm away. Free hand grabbing her waist and pulling her back down hard. He was not even close to done.
Fingers arcing into her in vicious thrusts, unrestrained. He wrenched his head quickly side to side, sucking down in popping wet pulses of his lips.
She cried out, her pelvis tremoring hard. Unable to hold her thighs open anymore as they arched up and clenched down around his head. Muffling around his ears. Cunt clenching in hard flutters around his fingers. He looked up, drinking in her arching ribcage and scrambling hands. A strike of fluid striking his jaw. Sending his eyes up into his skull.
His hips fucked into the ground, unable to still them any longer. Removing his fingers to slurp her cum into his mouth uninhibited. Pushing out of her in creamy pulses. Greedily lapping all he could catch, rubbing into her clit to encourage more.
She let out indignant pleading whines, but he wasn't done yet. His cunt slicked fingers gripping around his cock. Drinking her cum as he fucked into his fist.
Only two or three thrusts and he was gone, wrenching ropes up his belly. Pelvis clenching in vicious pulses, shooting pleasure through his body in teeth gritting waves. The endless ache behind his navel firing out in tortuous strikes. Hand bracing next to her hip in the dirt desperately.
His mouth slowed then stopped, panting hard into her thigh. Resting his head into the seam of her hip, thoroughly spent.
"That good huh?" She teased, her own breath telling of equal pleasure.
Head still down, he held his finger up in a signal to give him a minute.
She giggled, thoroughly pleased. "My, my, Gale at a loss for words. Wait until camp hears about this..."
He looked up, glaring at her in jest. "Don't you dare."
She smiled wide. "Hmm, I dont know... It's a pretty monumental thing to go unnoted. It would be a shame to keep to myself."
He trailed up her body, balancing on elbows above her. She gave him a pout, eyes wide in mock pleading.
"How else is everyone suppose to know I'm yours?"
His cock stirred again, huffing out a groan.
"Tav, you're killing me." He admonished. She only bit her lip in a smile at him.
"Well, if you don't want me telling everyone, you better leave your mark on me." She purred, turning her chin up. Eyes sparkling mischievously.
"Oh, that I can do." He smiled, angling his head down to her neck. Pulling the soft flesh between his teeth.
She laughed then moaned, that little whimper he was already addicted to in her throat again.
Oh, it was hopeless. They were going to be here all night.
~
~
~
80 notes · View notes
baldval · 2 days
Note
idk if u like writing him so if u don’t feel free to ignore!! but picture this, adam with a higher up reader with high authority that kinda acts like beelzebub?? like adam sees them for the first time and expects them to be all wholesome and kind but she’s actually just a hardcore party gal! which kinda matches his frat boy persona too🌚 and maybe she even resembles bee a bit? UP TO U! i just love ur writing and thought of this
-🎞️ anon
ALTITUDE!₊˚⊹♡
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
characters: adam x gn!reader
wc: 1.9k
warnings: cursing, mentions of one night stands
A/N: i'm sorry if i failed you in the whole party-fun!reader aspect i just went on a different direction and when i realised i like this a bit too much. hope you like it too anon!!!!! 🫶
Tumblr media
You weren’t ever too sure about Adam. He just seemed a bit problematic, loud, interruptive, and he never took things seriously. Not that you were the chillest person on heaven, quite the opposite, but still, there was something about Adam that threw you off. You felt like that was all a faced. You knew that, when he wanted to, he could be kind, and was actually very enthusiastic regarding his job at heaven. Not that he would ever knowingly admit it. So when Sera partnered you two for a, quite important job, you didn’t know what to expect, or how to feel. At first you thought he might try to run the shop by not letting you contribute any of your ideas. He thought you were a tightass that would try to make everything boring (exactly what he said to Lute).
However, both of you were surprised once time went on, and you got to know each-other better. He realised you were actually quite fun, he might even say careless. He found himself in shock, and partially offended, when he realised you actually hosted parties every few weeks. You found out that he was deeply misunderstood. And actually really cute and charming. And you also promised to invite him to your next party, once you had finished the long task Sera had appointed you.
"Adam? Will you read that to me again?" You sat cross legged on the carpeted floor of Adam’s basement, chewing on the end of your click pen. Adam was too busy trying (and failing) to get basketballs on a net at the top of his wall to notice you’d called out to him. Dropping the pencil down on your notebook, you let out a frustrated sigh, standing to get his attention.
"Adam!"
Startled, he stopped short, turning towards you with his eyes wide in surprise.
"Yeah? You alright?" He asked, putting down the basketball and appearing in front of you.
"Yes Adam, I just wanted to get this part done," you explained, rolling your eyes in annoyance. “Besides, why do I have to work? I would also love to be able to play with that fucking basketball." It wasn't that Adam didn't work, he just got distracted easily.
"Ha! As if you could play." You felt deeply offended even though you knew you did NOT know how to play basketball.
"Wow. Just wow. I thought you would've known about my years in the angel's basketball team. I used to be one of the bests." You lied, trying to defend your dignity.
"As if! I was on the angel's basketball team. Never saw you there." "It must've been waaaay before you got in. I've been here for longer, you know."
"Alright then, prove it."
"Prove what?"
"Prove you can play." He handed you the ball and you held it.
"I'm a bit rusty." You smiled at him as you saw him grin. He could see right through you and your lies, what he didn't figure out was that you could also see right through him. So instead of shooting towards the net, you hit Adam with the basketball right on top of his head. Watching it bounce on it only to later hit the floor.
"Ouch! What the fuck was that for?" he ran his hand through his hair.
"Get to work or I'll hit you again."
"Hey! That's toxic workplace behaviour, I'm gonna have to report you now." You groaned in annoyance. "What will it take for you to work on this with me for an hour? Do we have to make a deal?" You joke with a light chuckle. Adam jumped at the opportunity to compromise, knowing that he could work if he really wanted to, and that the deal would then be in his favour.
"A deal hey?" He asks, resting his chin in his hands, looking up at you with sparkling eyes.
"Yes, whatever you want for 1 hour of your precious time," you scoff, picking up your pen again to work. As a higher ranking angel, you knew better than to be stubborn. You didn't mind having to sacrifice a little something. Besides, the end was in sight, meaning you wouldn’t have to deal with him for much longer - however, you struggled to admit to yourself that it would actually make you sad not hanging out with Adam as much as you were right now, worrying you would go back to the stranger treatment you had with each other before.
"I’m not gonna tell you until the hour is up," Adam teases, retrieving a book full of sinners' names for your work from the couch and opening it to a dog-eared page.
"Okay read it again for me, and this time slowly," you emphasise on the word “slowly”, watching him let out a small laugh, shifting on the floor to get comfortable.
"Okay, ready?"
"Yes, Adam."
"Okay," Adam takes a deep breath before beginning, you’re skimming over your notes, making sure all of them make sense. Adam tries to memorise some of the names before you write them, wanting rather to watch you work than have his eyes glued to the book.
Adam rests his hands in his lap, noticing the way your lips part and your tongue juts out only slightly when you concentrate. He notices you fiddling with the edge of your notebook, your fingertips grazing the spiral as it winds to bound the book. He notices how effortlessly pretty you are, and how committed you’ve been to this assignment. He thought it was so funny that you were so oblivious to his blatant staring. He suddenly lets out the breath he didn’t notice he was holding in.
"Adam?" You ask, the same annoyance bubbling inside you from when he didn’t pay attention before.
"Right," Adam shakes his head from his thoughts and returns to reciting the book.
You hadn’t noticed you’d leaned slightly into Adam, your shoulders brushing. Adam suddenly feels warm, his shoulder tingling where you were touching him. His heartbeat hammered in his ears as he licked his lips, readying himself to read the next part.
He thought of how cunning his side of the deal was, and how much more tempting it got the longer you touched him. It was a gamble, but it was one he was willing to take.
Adam rested his hand on his thigh, inching his fingers closer to your joined knees.
You look up at him, finally noticing how close the two of you had gotten, but doing nothing about the close proximity. Something felt different, the air was harder to breathe, and your stomach felt like it was housed by a million butterflies. His eyes shun as they looked into yours, your faces inching closer and closer.
Adam finished reading and silence filled the room, accompanied by the small pants of your breathing, you pulled your body away, sitting up straighter and looking more alert.
"Good reading Adam," you let out a small cough to cover the awkwardness that had just washed over you. Fuck, you were so close to kissing him, and you didn’t know why. You scowled at yourself for being so cliche, and put down your notebook. Adam bit his lip in a smile as your cheeks blushed red because he knew you’d felt that too.
"Okay, deal time?"
You know you asked for an hour, but a break right now didn’t seem so bad.
"Okay," you say, as he scoots his bottom across the floor to face you.
"One kiss," he says finally, your jaw swinging open in shock. A kiss? Was he serious? Did you hear that right?
"A kiss?" You repeat, chuckling. At first you thought it was a prank - classic Adam. However, his face was dead serious, as serious as you had ever seen him. You hadn’t read that Adam felt anything for you, the same way you hid having a big fat crush on him by being sort of mean.
"Come on, you know you want to." He teases suddenly changing his behaviour and body language as he realised he had been perhaps a bit too vulnerable for his liking. But you has already seen him. You knew his true intentions when he asked that and you knew they matched what you wantes, so why weren't you kissing him?
Your lips form a tight straight line as you contemplate your choices. Give up the tough guy act now and cave to your feelings, or don’t. It was like Adam was giving you the perfect opportunity to do what you always thought of doing.
"Okay, only one," you narrow your eyes at him as he gives you a curt nod.
“Of course, whatever the lady wants,” he sends a wink on your direction and you can't help blushing as you try to hide the redness with a laugh.
You lean forward, securing a small kiss on his cheek, almost too close to the corner of his mouth as it curled into a small smile. Your lips linger there for a moment, before you pull away, just slightly, your face still so close to Adam’s. You contemplate whether you should just go for it. But before you could decide what you wanted to do, Adam does it for you, connecting your lips in a soft, passionate kiss.
It takes you aback, but you compose yourself quickly, cupping his cheeks in your hands, as his secure to your hips. He pulls you closer, until you’re practically in his lap, straddling his hips with your thighs. His tongue prods at your lower lip, and without another thought, you open your mouth, letting his tongue explore where no one else has. The feeling was magical, and after all those nights you lay awake thinking of this moment, it finally came in full force.
You had to pull away with a gasp when Adam’s hand started to cup your bare ass under your shorts, your hands resting comfortably on his shoulders as you stared at each other.
"Fuck I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have-"
"No! It’s fine, I just, I... I kinda like you? Adam... And I mean, I don't care if you want to just fuck or whatever. But... I guess I just don't want that." you let out a nervous laugh, wanting so badly to crawl into a hole and die from your confession. "It's not you! Well, I guess it is you? I don't mind one-night stands, I just..." Adam interrupts you by letting a small laugh, the back of his hand coming up to caress your cheek.
"I get why you assumed that. I mean, I am THE Adam, THE original dick, why would I settle down?" You roll your eyes at his cockiness and his expression softens. "But I do like you. I like you just in the way that you said it, truly."
"Really?" You ask him, your voice only just louder than a whisper.
"Yeah! I mean- you’re so smart and pretty, and we’ve spent a lot of time together, I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, wouldn't mind getting to know you better. The whole of you" he moves his hand towards your waist.
“I’ve felt the same way,” you reply, pulling Adam in for a hug, resting your head in the crook of his neck. He holds you close, before you sit back down on the floor across from him.
“So… you think I’m pretty?” He asks, shooting you a cheeky wink. You roll your eyes again, letting out a small laugh.
88 notes · View notes
nikosama13 · 3 days
Text
His Little Assistant (Crocodile x Reader)
Tumblr media
Description: Your boss, Crocodile, is feeling stressed and overworked. He’s been locked in his room all day doing paperwork. If only someone could help him out.. Maybe that person will be you. 
Side Notes: Hello my lovelies! So I'm currently sick- It’s probably my allergies, but like I've been out for a couple of days just sleeping and running to doctors. While I was napping I randomly thought this little fic up, sooo enjoy! (ಥ﹏ಥ)
(Probably spelling errors + My requests should be open)
☞ CW: Suggestive-ish + Very minor cursing 
Consider the following..?
Enjoy the read!
~~~
Crocodile looked up slowly from his desk. He was slumped over, his cigar burning out as a small groan left through his teeth. The poor man had been doing paperwork all day and still had more to complete, but he was overworked and burned out.
"Y/n..?" He called you, as you walked into his office. His voice held a slight touch of desperation and need as he said your name.
"Is it more paperwork?" Crocodile asked worriedly, hoping the answer would be anything other than a “yes”. He doesn't want to admit it, but he needs and craves emotional support.
“No, I brought you some coffee..” You thought it would be a good idea, considering that he looks half-dead, swimming within the piles of work. Crocodile visibly lets go of a breath he didn't realize he was holding. A little smile curled on his lips.
"Y/n, you know how to make a man happy." He said gratefully. You sent him a smile back. “After all, it’s my job as your assistant..”
"Indeed." Crocodile replied, accepting the cup of coffee. 
"You could make any man happy." He teased flirtatiously.
 This was the same Crocodile who was feared and intimidating. However, you know the better side of him. It was endearing, really.
After you set the coffee down on his desk and bowed, you walked out of the room with a small flush on your face.
Crocodile smirked as he watched you leave the room. Damn, he wished he could follow you out there. But, he can't. There were papers to be done. He sighed, and took a sip of his coffee.
Crocodile was once again buried in paperwork. His mind was trying to drown out the stress of it all, but he couldn't escape it completely. He was growing desperate and frustrated. All he needed was some kind of release of stress. Unfortunately, he couldn't think of any other solution other than you, his assistant.
"Y/n.." Crocodile called out, softly. He wanted you in the room with him. 
“I need you..” His voice had a tinge of desperation.
You walked over to his office and pushed open the heavy wooden doors.
“Yes..?”
"Could you stay in here with me for a bit?" Crocodile asked, hoping she would say yes.
 He didn't need to explain anything. The look on his face told the entire story. He just needed company and reassurance.
“Stressed?” You shot him a concerned look. "Understatement." Crocodile admitted, his voice laced with a hint of defeat. 
He was always so strong and confident. To see a side of him like you have right now is... Well, different. He wasn't proud of this, but he needed it.
“Why don’t you rest..?” You walked in further into the dimly lit room.
Crocodile gritted his teeth. Were you really gonna make him ask for it? You knew exactly what he needed and he didn't like being needy. However, he needed to be right now.
"I can't. I'm not done with my workload yet." He said, but he didn't make a move to continue. He just... sat there, stewing in his stress.
“So what do you want exactly..?” You smiled mischievously.
"I want... I need..." Crocodile trailed off. 
He wasn't really sure about what he wanted. Something to relieve his stress. He was desperate. So desperate he needed the one thing that made him the most vulnerable. He needed a little intimacy. A little connection.
"Just..." He slowly trailed off again, but he couldn't put into words what he really needed.
“I’m listening..” You waited patiently for his response. "Just..." Crocodile struggled to get the words out, which was rather amusing seeing how confident and prideful he was. 
"Just... C..could you.." He didn't want to finish the sentence. It made him feel so pathetic. It made him feel weak and vulnerable. But he needed it so badly.
Crocodile struggled to put into words what he wanted from you. He was so desperate he was losing his cool that he usually kept. He couldn't put into words what it was, he didn't want to admit it. But he was a desperate man right now. He needed his assistant's lips. You leaned over the desk, “A.. kiss?” A single nod was all he could do right now. The words were too damn hard. He just needed it. A kiss. Just one. That's all he was asking for. “Where..” You teased. Crocodile let out a frustrated groan. He was being teased. Now he wanted it more than anything. And this was all he could really ask for.
“You know exactly where..” Then you smirked and kissed his lips over the desk. Crocodile melted when his lips were connected with yours. The way your lips felt on his was all it took for his worries and stress to melt away. He enjoyed being vulnerable. The fact that he could trust you to comfort him like this was more relaxing than anything. His lips remained connected, wanting as much as he could get right now. (Greedy much-?) He would not move until she did. He would let you decide when it was time to pull away. Until then, it was just him and you. That’s when you pulled on his tie, deeping whatever was going on in that moment.
 He didn't anticipate the action, but he sure as heck enjoyed it. Not only was this comforting and relaxing, but now it felt sensual too. He could feel himself getting excited and wanting this to progress further. Still, he let you take the lead as he allowed his lips to remain connected, enjoying the moment.
You pulled away. “That's your limit for the night, dear.” you were trying to get as much power over him as possible. This was only because you knew that you could make him weak for you, and who wouldn’t want a Warlord protecting them. "Limit?" Crocodile asked, giving you a playful smirk. 
Your teasing had gotten him riled up. You would sure as hell pay for it later.. ~~~ The End! …maybe not ;)
Thank you so so much for reading!
Consider following..?
59 notes · View notes
krirebr · 22 hours
Note
Quick drabble/riff prompt! First thing that pops into your mind for: Curtis + possessive + “Well that escalated quickly.”
Tumblr media
You could feel Curtis’s eyes on you from across the party. You rolled your eyes to yourself a bit as you leaned in closer to better hear your friend. And because you knew how it would look. It was too fun to get him all riled up. Sure enough, moments later, Curtis was beside you, his hand on your wrist, dragging you away with a curt grunt to your friend. He pulled you down the hall, shoving you into the bathroom.
He pinned you to the wall, covering you with his body. "That’s the coworker that likes you?" he growled, in between nipping at your neck, his hands roaming all over your body, like he needed to touch everything at once.
Your friend had gotten very drunk at after-work drinks a few weeks ago and had confessed to you that she'd been so bummed when she found out you weren't into women because there were all sorts of things she wanted to do to you.
You'd told your boyfriend when you got home that night because you'd found the whole thing to be both very flattering and very funny, and ultimately, completely harmless. Apparently, Curtis didn't quite agree.
"No," you gasped, as he ran his hand under your skirt, up your inner thigh. "That's the coworker who wants to fuck me, that's what she said." You stuttered at the end of your sentence as he yanked your panties to the side.
"Yeah?" he asked, as his thumb began to circle your clit, and he pushed one then two thick fingers into your cunt in quick succession, making you choke on air. "You wanna fuck her? Think you have the right?"
"No!" you cried as his fingers curled in just the right spot that had you panting into his neck.
"And why not?" he asked, his breath hot against your ear, his body still pressing you into the wall. "Who do you belong to?"
"You! Just you! Fuck, Curtis, fuck fuck!" You shouted as he pressed hard against your g-spot and you fell apart around him. You panted against him as he held you up through your orgasm. Then, after a moment, once you finally started to come down, and he'd gently removed his fingers, you chuckled against him. "Well, that escalated quickly."
He gave you a shark-like grin and shook his head. "We're not done yet. Go get your coat. We're going home so I can fuck you into the mattress and really make sure I've gotten my point across."
38 notes · View notes
Text
This is part rant, part sex advice so read at your own discretion. Also one of those posts I'll get a lot of flak for.
In lesbian nsfw content on tumblr dot com one of the most prevalent sentiments is 'I want to pleasure my partner' (insert any variation on it) which is fair and all, and there are a lot of service tops around so it makes sense really. But. For some of us who have difficulty experiencing orgasm or even enjoying sex at all, making our pleasure the focal point of the experience is the absolute worst thing you could do.
It's a nice sentiment, I guess, but if it doesn't actually produce pleasure, is it really that nice? And before you come at me with 'some people really are just service tops and they get their pleasure from pleasuring their partner' - I get it, I do. As a top (or dom/me) you have the right to your preferences and you may absolutely refuse to tell your partner 'Your orgasm is inconsequential, I'm gonna fuck you anyway'. Not to mention that approach is verging on kinky and getting near mindfuck territory, which not every top (as in the person doing the penetration in this case) is comfortable with. Heck, not every dom/me is comfortable with that either - pretending to disregard your partner's pleasure can be a particular flavor of kink not everyone is into.
Buuut.. a lot of what I'm seeing here comes across more as a lack of real-world experience rather than a self-aware preference to focus on your partner's pleasure. Like for example, the amount of 'overstimulation' posts I'm seeing is just wildly disproportionate compared to the amount of women who can be forced to orgasm again and again, and again. This has never been my experience on either side of the dynamic, nor the experience of any of my friends or acquaintances. More often than not, women have trouble reaching a climax and can't really be "forced" into it.
Orgasms are not just a bodily sensation triggered by a certain type of mechanical stimulation. They require you to be in the right headspace as well. So if you actually want to bring about an orgasm, dropping the pressure may be (I want to say usually is) your best bet.
Look, I get it. I've been with women who come from a 2-minute clit rub. I didn't feel particularly accomplished with them... but they do exist! How wonderful for them and the people who just love pleasuring them. The rest of us however? 'Your pleasure is my pleasure' is the worst approach with us. Like, thanks, now if I don't come not only am I bruising your ego but also diminishing your pleasure? That's A LOT of pressure put on my fickle mental focus and unreliable vagina.
All of this is to say: it's fine to have your fantasies of overstimulating a partner to the point of incoherence. But be prepared that the reality of sex may be very, very different depending on how your partner's body and mind work. And sometimes, if your partner's pleasure really is that important to you, pretending it's the complete opposite might be the key to the castle - if you can get with that of course. Nothing's done a better job at helping me let go and experience actual pleasure than a partner's response to my 'I'm not sure if I can come though...':
"That's okay, baby. I don't need you to come for me to enjoy your body."
Um. Yes, Sir.
*I use the word 'woman' here purely based on my actual real-life experience so far but I'm sure this is applicable to a number of different identities. Even for some cis men orgasms are not as easy and effortless as porn makes it seem, I've been told.
20 notes · View notes
penkura · 1 day
Text
last forever [2/13]
Summary: Zoro only offered to marry you to keep you out of an arranged marriage with a man much older than you. You agreed with the caveat of ending it via annulment once you received word from your parents regarding the original engagement, despite your growing feelings for your close friend.
Pairing: Zoro x Fem!reader, mentioned Sanami later (like epilogue later so chill)
Warnings: Marriage of Convenience, Fake Marriage, referenced sex (waaaaaay later on), mutual pining, Zoro is bad at feelings but what's new there, eventual romance I promise, mention of past attempted assault (I'll warn in that chapter), creepy older dude later on
Note: Why yes I did write this after watching OPLA, why do you ask?
Tumblr media
Of course, it just had to be a crazy clown that was your next opponent. You didn't fear clowns but you didn't like them terribly much either, so being up against Buggy the Clown and his crew of pirates was making this day worse for you.
First, Luffy had been snatched away by a freaking bird that he tried to catch and turn into food (how he expected to cook it, you had no idea). You and Zoro quickly followed after, not even stopping to properly pick up the men you found in the middle of the ocean who were calling for help. Even when they tried to rob you, the glares the two of you gave and the slight beating from Zoro, once they realized who he was, the three men you picked up took over the rowing and brought you to Orange Town.
Once you found him, Luffy had already been thrown into a cage by Buggy, Zoro making an attempt to dice the clown who only proved he was perfectly fine afterwards, stabbing Zoro instead.After practically jumping from the rooftop with him still in the cage, the girl gave the key up, before it was swallowed by a little dog. The mayor of the town appeared before you next and you asked for a place to treat Zoro's stab wound and where he could rest, Mayor Boodle taking you all to his house.
"I don't need you to treat it, I'll sleep it off."
Zoro nearly flinched at the glare you set on him, making him take his shirt off so you could see the wound better.
"Sleep it off, what a load of crock," Shaking your head, you threaded a needle and sterilized it with a match, "You know that's not how you heal from stab wounds, dummy."
As you started stitching the wound, Zoro watched you closely like he always did. You'd done this so many times at this point, having been terrified of giving him stitches at first, until the worst wound you'd seen him get. He wasn't anywhere near close to bleeding out from it, but after an hour of it still bleeding, you forced him back onto the hotel bed and started stitching him up, pushing away your fears and the tears that you felt welling up as you did so. When you had finished, Zoro was impressed and thanked you, making you smile before you burst into tears over the whole thing.
"What are you crying for?!"
"I…I've never…done that before!"
He'd never have guessed you hadn't done stitches before, but your work never tore, he took it upon himself to remove them when you said it was safe to do. He didn't want you to start crying again.
After that you stitched up any severe wounds he had, just as you were doing at that moment.
"Okay," you cut the thread and finally nodded once you were done, "Now you can sleep. Don't do anything to tear the stitches though."
"Fine."
You put your items away while Zoro laid down, telling him you were going to see if you could help get Luffy out of the cage and ask about this other girl if she was joining you all or not. Before you left, you gave him another glare.
"You better stay still and sleep."
"I will, trust me on that."
Satisfied, you finally left and Zoro smiled to himself before falling asleep.
Not so bad having her as a wife.
+!+
Your hope that you'd all get out of Orange Town without a fight was gone as you stood in front of Cabaji with your own sword drawn. You had told (yelled at) Zoro to go back to resting instead of bothering to fight this acrobat, turning it into an argument between the two of you.
Zoro believed he was completely fine and could fight, despite you noticing the small winces of pain every now and then. Still though, he wouldn't listen to you and attempted several times to move you out of the way so he could fight.
It angered you more than anything, and you finally turned around and glared at him, Zoro more so thinking it was almost cute rather than scary like you thought it'd be.
"Gosh, why the hell are you such a stubborn man?!"
"Says the equally stubborn woman!"
Luffy watched the two of you, amused at how you acted like you really were a married couple despite you saying it wasn't a real marriage. He was starting to not believe you.
Zoro, on the other hand, was getting more frustrated with you as you placed yourself between him and Cabaji, who watched you two in annoyance at the fact neither of you were fighting him, but were fighting each other.
Get a room geez.
"I don't need you fighting battles for me!"
"You're still injured, you oaf!" You screeched back at Zoro, not stopping an attack from the annoyed Cabaji in time. He threw a kick into your side, sending you towards a building. You only stopped and didn't fly right into the building thanks to Zoro moving quickly enough to stop you, grabbing you around the waist to keep you from hitting anything but him.
"You all right?" He was quiet, but the look on his face told you he was angry. At you or Cabaji, you weren't sure, but you nodded. You'd always felt his bandana made him look scarier when he was in battle, but the way he looked at you this time, despite the anger, was more like he was worried about you, maybe. Zoro would probably never admit such a thing to you if you asked.
You were in pain, hissing a slight bit when Zoro set you down. You figured it was just going to be some bruising, nothing to worry about, even though it hurt at that moment.
Zoro made sure you were safe, before standing back up and setting the harshest glare you'd seen from him yet on Cabaji.
"Don't you dare touch my wife again."
Never had you felt like someone was fighting for you or your honor before then. The fact Zoro willingly called you his wife, that stuck in your head on repeat while you watched him fight and defeat Cabaji, moving past your own pain to hurry over and protect him as he fell asleep again. Of course he'd claim he was healing no problem that was, but you still wanted him to be safe while Luffy defeated Buggy.
Luckily Luffy carried him off to your ship as the townspeople chased you off for a misunderstanding, and you could breathe easily to know you all were safe, the orange haired girl named Nami joining you temporarily.
After you checked Zoro's stitches and for any other wounds, you were surprised by Nami offering you to sit with her in the boat she'd stolen, so you didn't have to be alone with two boys. You took her up on it, and she pulled you close to whisper.
"Hey…Zoro called you his wife…is he legit?"
Your face turned bright red, having already forgotten that because of your quick escape from the town. He really had then, it wasn't just you hearing things.
Was that progress? Would things slowly change and develop for the two of you, could you live as a married pirate couple one day? Have kids even?
Were you getting ahead of yourself? Definitely, considering he'd only said it once and likely wasn't thinking, your assumption due to the possible pain he was still in, even though he would deny it instantly if you even started to ask.
"Umm, hello," Nami snapped her fingers in front of your face, making you shake your head and ask her to repeat what she said, "I asked if Zoro was being honest when he said you were his wife."
You blinked a few times, before finally smiling slightly. "Well…technically, yes, he's being honest."
Nami didn't let you go back to the boys the rest of your ride to the next island, demanding every detail despite you only knowing each other for a few hours.
It looked like you had a new best friend.
+!+
The events in Syrup Village led to your recruitment of a new member, Usopp, and being given the Going Merry as your first, real ship as a crew. You and Nami spent time learning how the ship worked, Usopp eventually joining you and telling stories that you may have known right off the bat weren't entirely truthful. You did enjoy them though, laughing through them during dinner that night alongside Luffy.
"Soooo," leaning over, you gave Usopp a grin, "Kaya huh? That was a nice little kiss there."
Nami burst into a laugh at how wide Usopp's eyes got, before he started stammering and trying to say something, you grinning even more and asking him what it was like to get a kiss.
"Never had one before so I wouldn't know."
"I…it…nice…it was nice…"
You and Nami started doting on Usopp over it, telling him how he could always write to Kaya and keep in touch that way. The romance talk flew over Luffy's head but he still talked about how nice Kaya was and how tough Kuro had been, while Zoro got more annoyed as it went on, eventually leaving the table after he finished his drink and stepping outside, which you did notice right away.
Downing the last of your own bit of wine, you excused yourself from your friends, heading to the deck and finding Zoro there, leaned against the railing with his eyes closed. Normally you'd assume he was sleeping, but since it'd only been about a minute and you knew he didn't sleep standing up (wouldn't have surprised you though), you knew he was still awake and would talk to you.
"Hey," you joined Zoro against the rail, making him look at you and nod slightly while you tilted your head, "What'd you leave for?"
"Tired."
"Why aren't you in bed then?"
"Who can sleep with all the laughing?"
"Oh please, you almost slept through a tornado once."
"Shut up."
You rolled your eyes but smiled, deciding to look out at sea and watch the waves that gently rocked the ship. You'd anchored for the night in the middle of the sea, Nami placing you on the first watch of the night since you said you weren't tired while most everyone else was. You didn't mind, it'd give you some alone time to watch the stars and think, to enjoy being by yourself as you so rarely got to do lately.
"Have you heard from your parents?"
Zoro's question made you shake your head, him sighing once you did. You'd not gotten a single letter from them, your carrier bird only bringing newspapers from home so you could keep up on how things were going that didn't involve your arranged marriage.
You wondered if they even got your first letter at all at this point.
"Not a thing…only newspapers from home.
"Mm."
"They've still got my picture in it as if I've been kidnapped."
"Maybe they didn't get your letter and the papers."
You shrugged, biting your lip. You wanted to say something about it, tell him you didn't want to do the annulment even if your parents wrote back that the arranged marriage was over, that they accepted your current marriage. You'd rather stay married to him, try a relationship before signing any papers, but you also knew that saying anything like that would likely cause Zoro to shut you out, or tell you how he didn't want to be in a relationship, he didn't want to be married whether he knew of your feelings or not.
He'd probably never return your feelings and you'd have wasted your time instead of just doing the annulment, or divorce if your six months passed without a letter.
But, maybe, you could just tell him how you felt right then, see what his thoughts were and go from there.
Maybe.
"Zoro, I–"
"I'm going to bed. Just let me know when you hear anything."
"O-Oh, yeah…sure."
Once he left, you sighed and sunk to the ground, wishing you hadn't been such a coward at the moment and asked him to stay so you could actually talk to Zoro about the situation between the two of you. Granted yes, things had moved quickly since you joined Luffy, but still. There were a few times you should have sat down and talked, but every time you wanted to, Zoro was doing something or sleeping. At this rate you figured you'd never get things settled with him.
"Hey, you good?" Usopp popped up beside you, throwing an arm around your shoulders while you just nodded, not saying a word. He didn't fully believe you, taking note of the slight sadness on your face, before he smiled. "Have I told you about the giant sea monster that attacked my village?"
"Don't think so."
"Oh it was a huge beast! At least forty, no fifty feet!"
The rest of your night was spent laughing at more of Usopp's stories on the deck, enjoying yourself and forgetting your worries for the time being.
Zoro had, however, turned back to go talk to you about your sham marriage before he went to bed. The two of you never properly spoke about it after leaving the town you'd married in, but he was sure that you had feelings for him from the way you acted at times. Overly concerned with his well being, you forcing him to rest in Orange Town, the glances you'd take every now and then too. Everything pointed to you having developed feelings for him, and Zoro didn't want that right now.
He didn't want distractions from his goals and didn't want you distracted from yours. He had to put a stop to your feelings then and there, even if all it ended up being was a pause on your end.
He didn't expect, though, for you to be laughing with Usopp when he made it back to the deck, choosing to watch you for a moment. You smiled and laughed again, shoving Usopp on the arm while he grinned and made a large gesture with his hands, likely an exaggeration in whatever story he was telling you. Zoro didn't know why he had such a tight feeling in his chest seeing this, but it was enough for him after a few minutes of neither of you noticing him. He turned around and returned to his hammock, trying to ignore the annoyance he felt when Usopp and Luffy came into the room, Usopp mentioning how fun you were to talk to.
I'm not jealous. Not at all.
23 notes · View notes
mokeonn · 6 months
Text
One of my favorite things about being in my early 20s is that I'm starting to understand that I can use things not for their intended purpose. When you're growing up, you get told what an object is and what its intended purpose is, and as a kid/teen, I just accepted all of it at face value. As a young adult it's finally clicking that I can simply do things a different way if it makes me happier. Sure, I was taught that you stand to take a shower, but there's nothing stopping me from just sitting if I don't feel like it, ya know? I might have always had my medication in the kitchen, but if I'm no longer remembering to take it, I can just move it somewhere where I can remember. You don't have to specifically store all food in the kitchen, you can have a little snack cart or snack station in another room.
The downside to finding out the various ways you can use objects is that you develop habits that would probably go on an r/relationships post where everyone says you're a little freak.
#simon says#i just developed a new habit (it's too tmi to put here) and I just know that it's some weird shit#it works and it makes me feel better so I'm gonna keep doing it#but it's some shit that would end up viral where everyone would go 'yo op you should break up with them thats weird' 😔#i was just thinking about this though because every week or so I learn that I can just do what I want#because there's no fucking object use police I can do what I want#i HIGHLY suggest getting into this habit. if you find something annoying or frustrating you can just do it differently#'I hate washing the dishes because my legs hurt from standing for so long' you can bring a chair and sit or you can break it up into chunks#like on the one hand I'm learning this because I have autism and a plethora of other mental disorders#and it's FINALLY clicking that I can self accommodate whenever and however I so please#I'm just sorta learning that if doing something makes me feel better/happy/gets the job done to do that thing#even if it requires using an object in an odd way#hell there's even some little things I've been playing with#for example: my whole life we sorta just lifted blinds only about halfway up#just sorta how we did it ya know#well recently I decided I wanted more natural light in the sunroom/my office so I wouldn't have to turn on the lamp#and I lifted the blinds all the way up to the very top#and honestly?? it fucking rules. the room looks nicer; i get natural light; i can see the forest out back and it's quite calming and nice#like for ages I just never thought about doing that because it just never occurred to me that I could#i just always put blinds about halfway up because that's about how high blinds do in my household#another little one I learned is that I can just... wash my hair#sometimes when I get too depressed or if my body doesn't need a shower but my hair is greasy#I just shove my head under the bathtub facet and wash my hair#it's just a small thing but for years if my hair needed to be washed I would just take a full shower#now I just fix my greasy hair. bc greasy hair is a huge ick for me but sometimes my body is still clean or im too tired to fully shower#like there's nothing stopping me from doing that and it doesn't hurt anyone. it's just a way of bathing that I wasn't taught#but yeah those are some recent examples of me learning I can just... do stuff differently#the free will is kicking in babes and it has decided I love finding ways to use things differently#it's why im doing a bg3 run where I just press loot all no matter what and use whatever I can in odd ways#anyways I might delete this later might not who knows
30 notes · View notes
forcedhesitation · 6 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
*wheeze* slowly, but surely, working on art of them all
#bg3#myart#wip#I want to make every tav/companion pairing I have a dedicated. fancy piece.#these started with a concept for a wyll drawing that was very...storybook! inspired.#I would have been done all the linework for these two pieces by now had my weekend gone better :/#I was violently unwell for...about a week and a half? chronic illness bullshit. had started to feel better friday of last week...#...unfortunately fate had it that the weekend ended up being particularly stressful. so the pain returned anew.#it was. somewhat better today. but still not enough for me to really be productive in my free time :(#I will try to complete the linework tomorrow if all goes well. I really would like to start colouring them!#I have delightful colour schemes chosen...#gale/illamin piece has already been sketched in a notebook. once I finish these two- I will begin lining theirs!#illamin's connects to cadence's because they're intertwined like that. but I have yet to finish planning out cadence's piece.#I've gone back and forth on who I should romance with him...the thing with any of the companions is that they are all written to be-#-immensely compatible with each other. so writing a tav FOR a specific companion is a bit hard. often the tav could fit with any of them.#hell. I'm STILL working out details of jantar and corydalis' story & characters. because I can't be normal about this.#that aside- I DO have other. finished pieces...finally.#well. I had some long before... but I didn't want to post them because I wasn't happy with them.#so I went and finished new stuff that I DO like.#4. technically 5 drawings. all horror/horror adjacent in theme.#my extremely detailed hux painting is also NEARLY done. after months upon months of work.#and I continue to slowly chip away at the big scifi themed dbd piece I've had in progress.#I really never run out of things to draw and it's a bit torturous because I never have the time or energy to draw everything...
8 notes · View notes
pickled-paintbrush · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Birthday busts!
14 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
... how am I meant to get any sort of restful sleep when it's like 85F indoors in my bedroom at NIGHT .. hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
#why the next poll adventure and everything else has taken so long lol.. I straight up have just not done anything#the past few days... staring down my todo list and sweating hopelessly#AT LEAST it;s relatively low humidity. the highest it's been up to is maybe 65%. but is usually around 50 or 40ish#There is one small window air conditioner in a roomate's room that can KIND OF be shared by nailing a sheet up to block off the hallway#with the rooms in it so the cool air goes into the other bedrooms but doesnt flow out into the kitchen or etc but#wjhen it's the time of day that the sun is directly hitting the window & it's like 102F outside even that doesnt help much. to cool 3 rooms#and I always feel like we're going to explode the air conditioner or something running it too much with direct heat on it. sometimes it#smells like hot plastic or whatever ghj.. so it's mostly just.. block off all windows with 5 layers of blankets and cardboard#starting at 10am (meaning.. no indoor light for days basically.. no natural lighting.. time passes weird. hard to determine time of day).#throw water on the bed every night so you sleep in wet sheets and keep your clothes and hair wet at all times. ice. cold drinks. keep a#little fan running pointed directly at you nearly 24/7 even when sleeping with a fan blowing air on you makes your eyes and throat painfull#dry. etc. etc.. and i KNOW people have it worse in plenty of places blah blah. i am just complaining on my little blog that is about me lol#I think the biggest thing about lack of adequate/central air conditioning for me is just the LACK of productivity!!! I am working on games!#and novels!! and so many other crafts. costumes! sculptures!!! things I want to do!!! we all have a limited amount of time on this planet a#nd I have so many goals!! To lose basically 4-5 days straight or producivity - when if I had been able to temperature#control my environment better I could have easily gotten more done because I wouldn't be laying around nuseous and too hot#and sick to do anything all day etc. -- is like.... GRRRRRR... it just feels so senseless.. i could have USEd that time...#Every CEO who has contributed to global warming owes me 1million doallrs to fund my art projects and make up for all the time#I've lost on them due to their stupid bullshit.. also they should be stoned to death in a public square. but redistribute the money FIRST#to everyone on the planet. but especially people who have been affected by floods. fires. etc. etc.#poor people who have limited choice in housing and access to air conditioning. homeless people in cooling centers. people with disabillitie#and health issues that are worse in the heat so the entire future just seems increasingly terrifying for them. etc. etc.#ANYWAY.... eughhhgh.... It can cool down SLIGHTLY at night but the past few nights I have been sleeping in an 81 degree room and I wake up#and first thing in the morning its like 82 by then and I'm so nauseous and nasty feeling... just so so tired of it.. I NEED SNOW#literally not even joking.. snow would heal me. .. oughffff...#AND i got the new nasty stinky poo poo pee pee tumblr dashboard update lol.. e v i l
7 notes · View notes
running-in-the-dark · 3 months
Text
well I can already tell this is gonna be a bad night
today has just been fucking weird and hard. I'm in a bad mood. everything feels bad. (probably not helped by me not taking the new antidepressant last night so I wouldn't sleep all day)
the plan was for my friend to come over this weekend to help me pack. she did that last time and it helped a lot. (my husband could help, obviously, but he's in charge of other things that also need to get done. plus he's very bad at putting things into boxes.)
but the rail strike is still going on so it's likely that she won't be able to get here (or get back in time). so now that's suddenly a lot more stressful and the one thing that I thought would make it go okay is gone.
and I also have to like. at least reread my thesis a few times or whatever to study for the oral exam on Friday. which will make me want to die. because it is bad. so. that will be bad. and the thought of being asked questions about that piece of garbage for 30 fucking minutes is so horrifying that I genuinely do not know if I will be able to get through it without taking my Lorazepam beforehand (which I know is a horrible idea, and my psychiatrist told me twice that it's a bad idea, and I know it would just make me unbelievably stupid. but holy shit that is the scariest thing I can imagine.)
and of course instead of doing anything useful I'm now just sitting here feeling like shit (like last night, only worse)
#it'd just be so fucking nice if I could just.. have a break#it's just been nonstop awful shit since my dad's cancer diagnosis in 🤔 2015. I'm sorry but that's too long. I can't do it anymore. I just#need some damn time to fucking calm down#like yeah any outsider would probably look at my life and think 'well you haven't actually DONE anything in like 6 years'#yeah that's true#but I've also been sick and/or in pain pretty much since 2018. and some of that was fixed last year when I had my gallbladder removed but i#is still not good. first of all that did not work out so well for me. but also everything else is still not right and no one cares and I#just don't have the energy to fight to get a diagnosis#I'm just so tired#I really thought I'd just. go to uni. get my degree in 3 years like expected. get a job. move out. have a normal life FINALLY for the first#time ever#and NONE of that fucking happened#EVERYTHING WENT WRONG. again and again and again#and I am just. so. tired. I can't. I can't do it.#it feels so fucking pathetic to be like 'my life is soooo hard everyone feel bad for me' when there is just. objectively not that much wron#but it just. never. stops.#I've never had a fucking moment to just. sit down. and think. and make decisions about my life. everything just. happens to me#I just. feel so lost and stuck and doomed and it won't fucking get better! it won't! my life got better ONE TIME and it has been pure hell#since then#like. no. it won't get better. this will keep happening over and over and over#I'll never have a choice. not really. I fucked up my life permanently when I dropped out of school at 18 and tbh I wish I would've just bee#brave enough to do what I really wanted then (killing myself)#because fuck. this is not worth it#literally everyone I love is either really fucking far away or just. fictional.#I have no close relationships with anyone irl#everyone I know irl is mean and kind of an asshole. and I'm too useless to meet new people.#I just. I don't want to survive anymore I want to live but I can't have that so. what's the goddamn point#its gonna be fine. because I'm a fucking coward so I'll never do it anyway. but I fucking wish I could
2 notes · View notes
aberooski · 4 months
Text
Every day I tell myself "all I have to do is make it through today" and I'm realizing that I don't know how I feel about the fact that I feel like I have to tell myself that every single day.
#a lot of times it's because I hate my job and I'm miserable#I literally cried in the car on the way home today because I got so stressed during my shift#never work at a movie theater kids it's awful#I wish I didn't#I wish I could have a real job because I fucking went to college I got my fucking dgree#and yet this was the best I could do because I've never had a job in my life so no one would give me the time of day#I feel humiliated every single day I walk into the building#I feel like such a failure and an embarrassment#and that's not to say everyone who works at the theatre ahould feel that way that's now what I'm saying#but that's how I personally feel about myself and the situation that I am in#and we're entering the busiest week of the year so it sucks even more than usual#but also I'm just so tired from this year it's been a really bad one for me and my family#just abysmal in every way#so I have to remind myself I have to make it through the day every day right now#but you know what it's fine I have a chapter done and ready to go on Christmas and it's been almlst 4 years in the making#so in that case I have a present for some of you and I'm really excited about it#it's gonna be a sad Christmas for us because everyone in my family is broke but I hope you guys all have a better holiday than I will#and as someone who adores Christmas like it's my favorite day of the year type adore I'm just really down in the dumps right now#just feeling very sad#but anyway sorry rant over I have to go to bed#I don't get saturday's off and those are my lingest shifts so 🙃#I get christmas eve and christmas ofd tough 😊#but not the day after 🙃#anyway bedtime for me sorry to rant guys#abby's self deprecation hour#abby after dark
3 notes · View notes
goldensunset · 4 months
Text
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
2 notes · View notes
homosociallyyours · 1 month
Note
9, 19, 29?
Thank you Jinny!!
9. What genre is your favourite to write? Hmmm, a good question that I'm not sure of the answer for? I suppose I could say romance, because that's definitely most in line with what I typically write. Fluff and flirtation are definitely my bread and butter.
19. Do you edit your works? I try not to edit as I go, but honestly it's very hard for me to avoid so I kinda just let it happen? Then I almost always read through it aloud to myself before it goes to a beta, and that usually lets me catch a few things like repeated words or odd structural issues. Then after my beta (@louandhazaf !! thank you!!) reads it I typically accept changes and read it once more before publishing. BUT if I'm in a hurry it's only gonna get my read through changes. With shorter stories I don't feel like I need quite as much editing, but with longer fic I have to be careful not to let myself go on tangents and stray from the plot, lest the pacing get messed up.
29. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what kind? I prefer quiet, actually! Or I guess the high pitched electrical whine of tinnitus? Anyway, no music. Unless I'm specifically writing song fic, in which case I'm listening to the specific song in question. Boring, I know, but I'm way too lyrics oriented to be able to listen to music as a background thing for the most part.
1 note · View note
townofcrosshollow · 1 year
Text
I've learned from my mistakes and grown from them. I've lent an ear to criticism, internalized it, evaluated it, put in the work required to do better. I'm on my way to a future where I don't have to worry about these problems anymore, because they've been dealt with and I have the tools to deal with them again. I'm learning to be kinder to myself, and that being kinder to myself involves admitting my flaws and working to improve them.
I truly believe that the best feeling in the world is knowing you've put in the work to get better ❤️❤️❤️
#i'm reflecting on the last time i went though a trauma like this#and how much the work i've been doing for months has prepared me to handle it better#i had a friend who abandoned me as a teenager to be closer friends with the person who assaulted me. knowing what had happened#he was the last person to abandon me. and that stung deeper than this. far deeper#but even though his judgement lapsed he still loved me. and he realized how he had hurt me.#and when he apologized i accepted it#and when i saw him at work a couple months back and i nervously said hi. and he didn't recognize me because of the testosterone#and i told him my name. full of trepidation#he gave me the most genuine smile i've ever seen. a smile that was full of so much love for someone who had become a stranger#and he told me i looked great. and i wanted to ask if the person with him was his partner and ask if he knew how much he meant to me#and i didn't. because he was at the grocery store with his partner and that would be inappropriate#but i think about it a lot. and i think about the effort he made for me.#i know what preceded it. i know the person who had hurt me hurt someone else. and i know that he might never have apologized otherwise.#but it still took him work. i know that. it was still difficult for him to admit to himself that he had treated me poorly.#and it's that work that means something. it's that willingness to change for someone that means something#he had to admit to himself that he had done something frankly... really fucked up#leaving someone to be friends with their abuser. after seeing the aftermath of what that assault and abuse had done to them#like that is. really fucked up#and i was in no way obligated to accept that apology of course. nothing could outweigh that action#but god i know how it feels and i knew then. the guilt i felt knowing that person had gone on to assault more people after me#and that maybe if i had said something then none of it would have happened#and i know that isn't true. because i did say something. and it accomplished nothing#but that guilt was something i had to use to heal. and he did the same. and i'm proud of him for being able to move forward#you just have to move forward and know that you might not always have done your best but you're doing your best now#maybe i'll tell him that next time i see him come in at work. pull him aside and say 'i'm still so proud of you for the way you grew'#'that apology meant the world to me then and means the world to me now'#'you've written an ending full of light into a chapter of my life with nothing but darkness and i'll never forget that'#but y'know. that would be inappropriate haha. he's grocery shopping
14 notes · View notes
Text
I finally got rid of all harry potter/rowling books from my shelves because I was reminded they were rotting in a corner via all the recent game talk! legit forgot they were there so. I may be a little late to the party but. woop!
8 notes · View notes