☆༉ — CHRIS STURNIOLO. The Unwritten Rule.
about. Everyone knows the rule, don't fall in love with your best friend's boyfriend.
author's note. this is the chapter 8, I hope it sounds interesting to you. My first language is not English. masterlis!
Then you hear him yelling at Anna in the kitchen, who is staring at the bowl of popcorn that has fallen to the floor. Chris and I had just entered the house, the moment between us interrupted. Both of us blinking and turning towards the door at the same time.
We both tensed at the sound of Anna's mother's voice.
"Why did you park in the garage?" the woman asks. "You know you shouldn't do it."
“You said you worked late and I…”
"Oh, so when I leave I'm trying to keep you. Can't you bother walking up the front steps?"
"What are you eating? Anna, honey, you shouldn't eat after four. It will go straight to your hips. Trust me, I know.”
"Mom" It was obvious that he was sad. "I have...Chris is here and Ada is here. Can we talk about this later?"
"Of course, I'm bothering you in my own house," she blurted sarcastically. "Don’t worry about me, I don’t need to eat or sit and rest or anything like that.”
I have to get to Anna before this gets worse, I have to stop this, so I took a step into the kitchen.
"Hey, Anna, I was talking to Chris and…” he smiled, feigning surprise “Oh you made popcorn, thanks!”
I look over at the older woman and force myself to smile at her when really what I wanted to do was kick her in the fucking face.
"I'm so hungry, and Anna said she didn't want to mess anything up in the kitchen because you might want something when you got home, but I begged her until she did.”
"Great, now there's no food" she looked at her daughter" Anna made a mess.
"It's not that bad," Chris chimed in, also entering the kitchen. "You should see some of the things you dropped in the kitchen."
"Hello," Anna's mother greeted, smiling at Chris, fluttering her eyelashes, and there was the grimace on Anna's face. "I just meant that it's a hassle to clean up spilled food. I'm sure I wish there were kids who looked like you when I was in high school. Not that long ago, you know.”
Anna rolled her eyes at her mother's comment. Chris smiled, pursing his lips. I kneel down and start picking up some popcorn and pieces from the bowl that had fallen. Anna crouches down next to me, her hands shaking as she does the same.
"I'm exhausted," she sighs. "I'm going to bed, Anna, don't make any noise."
"I won't," Anna replied, continuing to clean in silence.
"Are you sure?" Chris asks, Anna just nods and kisses him.
Once we finished cleaning Anna came up to us and spoke "You should leave."
My stomach twists and I hate myself for it. Chris looks at me and I just look away, pretending I'm still searching the floor for stray bits of popcorn or the bowl.
When he's gone, Anna comes and stays by my side. She cries, biting her lip to not make any kind of noise, I just hug her tightly, wishing she could make her mother see everything she does. Although I know that even if she saw it, it wouldn't change anything.
Anna doesn't want to spend the night at my house, and I leave a few minutes later, telling her to call me if she needs anything.
Once I get home, I look for my parents and put my arms around them to tell them. "I love."
"Of course you do, we're adorable" Dad comments making me laugh.
"Everything is alright?" Mom asked a little worried.
I nodded, I wasn't, but looking at them makes me remember how lucky I am to have them.
Sunday mornings are always a big event in my house. First, my mother wakes us up and then we go to church. Mom likes to go to the bathroom early because, well, she just likes mornings and that's it.
Normally I'm too sleepy to do anything except stay asleep, but now I can't stop thinking about the night before. About how Anna looked when her mother was talking to her; tired, sad and defeated, in a way that Anna only looks at home.
I should have said something else, something that would make his mother be kinder. Although maybe nothing I said would have made Anna's mother care. I could have called her when I got home and double checked that she was okay. She could just stop lusting after her boyfriend at least, her life was already very miserable.
I could stop thinking about Chris telling me that it was me he had called that first time he and Anna spoke on the call.
At home after church, I need a break from myself and my thoughts. I put on my favorite jeans and one of Dad's old lawyer shirts, dark blue cotton that's soft against my skin and loose enough. Go down to have breakfast.
My mom loves to cook, but on Sunday mornings she goes all out, because dad's favorite meal is a big breakfast and once a week mom likes to 'indulge' him. Frankly, sometimes I wonder how he survives without my mom. I know he did it, She wasn't born until he was older than I am now and they met until he was in his forties and she was finishing her PhD, but still. It's like they've always been together and she really loves him and wants him to be okay. As good as it can be.
She made stuffed toast, filling pieces of egg-and-butter bread with a mixture of cream cheese and blueberry ice cream that she had thawed overnight, and a frittata, It's basically a huge bread filled with baked egg, cheese, and vegetables. There is also bacon and orange juice that she squeezed herself.
"Have you sent this French toast recipe anywhere?" Dad asks when he focuses on his breakfast, and Mom shakes her head in response, taking out her course recipe notebook.
"Breakfast entrees are generally some type of bread or pastries" He writes in his notebook. "I think the next big thing will be pancakes that have been turned into some kind of layered dish. Pancake lasagna! Oh, with syrup as a sauce, and maybe hazelnut chocolate spread like cheese" He calmed down little by little and began to write faster, outside the creation kitchen area. Dad smiled and patted her hand.
"Don't forget to eat," he reminds, to which my mother smiles, lifting a piece of bacon to her mouth.
"I'm surprised Anna isn't here, you two, well you three now, I guess your relationship with Chris is something serious, you've been very close lately.
"Doesn't Chris have a friend to introduce you to?" Dad points at me with his cutlery.
"Dad, can we not discuss my social life?" rather, the lack of my social life.
"I'm not arguing, I'm asking," he explains. "Chris seems like a nice guy, so I thought if you met someone around him...
"Dad!"
"You'll meet someone" Mom smiles. "Somewhere out there is that boy waiting for you."
I know, and his name is Chris Sturniolo, and I can't date him because he's dating my best friend. However, I kissed him, despite knowing that.
"Don't you want to go out?"
"Mom, it's not eleven yet, no one I know is awake."
“Of course they are,” he argues. “Anna usually shows up here around this time.”
"Yes" he murmured and left the kitchen, now entering my room. Mom was right, Anna should normally show up here by now.
I usually call her when she gets back from church and she automatically arrives for breakfast.
But today I didn't call her, today I had been trying to think about her, I told myself to think about her, but I didn't. Not really.
I was just thinking about Chris, I was still thinking about Chris, and I hadn't called her because I was wondering if he would call me. If we talk about what happened that last night, or about the kiss, or just about us. I haven't called her because if I do and he's with her, I won't be able to pretend that I don't like her.
I have to pretend that the first time I called Anna was about me, what happened the morning after that end of summer party...
Anna was trying on some of her mother's lipsticks and putting them down as soon as she put one on because she didn't like any of the colors, and her cell phone rang.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hello Ada?" my heart pounded. I felt strangely weak but happy, leaning against the wall when Anna looked at me. "Ada?" Chris spoke to me again on the other end of the call.
"Chris?" His name left my lips, and then there was a great silence, a painfully slow silence in which I knew I had to say something, but I wanted him to say whatever because last night we had talked, he had held my hand and I was hoping, but then he started dating Anna.
Anna was smiling and combing her hair, she extended her hand to me so I could pass her the cell phone.
I stared at her and she whispered. "Ada, he called me! And after I barely mention that he'd probably see you here, he definitely likes me."
"Ada" Chris named me again.
"Tell him I'm not here, don't expect me to be here. Damn this is so romantic" she was actually very excited about this.
They had kissed, I knew it. They had kissed and I had seen them. All the boys looked at her, they all loved her, How would they not? after all she was Anna, the most beautiful girl you could ever see in your miserable life.
"Wait, Anna's here," I reply to Chris.
And that was it. I stood for a moment, watching Anna smile, listening to her laugh, and part of the conversation; 'What have you been thinking about all night?' 'Me too' 'What?' 'Do you want to talk to Ada now? I don't know if I can allow that. I bet you asked him what I said about your kissing technique, and well, I'm afraid you don't have enough information to form a real opinion yet. I need more samples, you know. But Ada said we were perfect for each other' 'yes, she said it'. She smiled mockingly at me and held the cell phone in her hands, waiting.
"Perfect," I said, raising my voice a little so Chris could hear me, and Anna giggled, turning to talk to him. I snuck out of my own room like it wasn't mine at all and sat on the stairs trying not to cry. I thought Chris called me.
I allowed myself to think that once, just once, and then I forgot about it. It made me forget it. I had to do it.
I had to do it because I saw my best friend start seeing him. I noticed that she was beginning to really like me. I saw how his eyes lit up as he looked at Chris in a way they never did for any other boy. I saw them together, not for a week or even two, but for a month. Now two.
But at this moment Chris and I had kissed and he told me that he wanted to talk to me when he called that time, he wanted to talk to me and not Anna.
I ended up calling Anna in the afternoon, she's getting ready to go out and tells me she's been avoiding calls, but "I took this because I knew it was you and I adore you" I don't ask him any questions like I used to, I don't ask 'Where you're going?' or 'Who are you going with?' I don't want to hear your answers.
"See you tomorrow?" she asks.
"Of course," I reply. "Do you want to drive, or are you going to ride in Chris' car?" His name now comes so naturally from my lips.
"I'll drive," he paused briefly. "I'm leaving. Fun awaits me!"
"Go get her" he ended the call and I sat there, not thinking about anything. That's really weird, but I can't keep doing this, I can't play 'what if?' I have to be clear about how things are and that's it.
When his cell phone rings after dinner, he speaks, but they instantly hang up.
I wish that had never happened, because then I wouldn't think about it so much before going to sleep.
I wouldn't wake up so blushing, with my arms around one of my pillows. I wouldn't be wondering what Anna and Chris were doing today.
I wouldn't be wondering if he was thinking about me.
author's note. if you want to be part of the taglist leave a comment below and I will add you. Thanks for reading, remember to like, share with your friends and leave a nice comment ^^
taglist. @l34n @jetaimevous @jnkvivi @loveyoumatthewbernard @d1tzy-bl0nde @laxbabe131147 @slut4chriss @dontellaf1lms @surniolozzzprincess @sturnlova @inlovewithchriss @whicked-hazlatwhore @mattsgirlsblog @nsjsnshey @always-reading @y-s-a-p @h3arts4harry
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My chronic pain disabilities (hip fuckery; migraines) do not stop me from working. It doesn't mean I should treat my disabilities with less respect than disabilities that DO make it impossible to work.
When my endo pain was at its worse, I did all the things I was supposed to do--according to HR--to protect my job. I filed ADA paperwork. I communicated when I used it. I had the doctor's note. Etc.
Two days before my hysterectomy, I got a call from HR. "Oh, we're not sure we'll have work for you after you recover."
Which, first of all, is fucking illegal to say to someone who has ADA paperwork in place with you.
And, second of all, you're a fucking liar. I was the ONLY tech writer in a company of 500 people. Don't bullshit me.
I should have filed a complaint and sued the fuck out of them, but all I wanted to do was be able to possibly get out of pain and not have to worry about my paycheck after that. So, I called someone else in the company who I knew would lose his shit if I told him I'd basically just been told I had no work to do.
Two days after surgery, I had an email from HR to my personal account. Which, technically, they ALSO should not have used to contact me while on medical leave that was--like my disability paperwork--100% lined up and signed off on.
But the HR person wanted me to know that "Oh, looks like there IS work for you! Lol! Didn't know!"
This is bullshit. She was very aware.
Years later, I'm at a much better company. My supervisor, who is nothing but supportive, recently floated that it might be good to have ADA paperwork in place for my migraines because they flare during stress, which is the time I'm needed at work THE MOST.
No shit: I went into hard shutdown for about two minutes after he said it. It wasn't a threat or a dismissal of my migraines. It was him going, "Oh, hey, so no one can ever try to use them against you to say you're bad with stress, you might do this."
But all I felt was how I was absolutely fucked over by a bad company because they said, "You need to follow these legal steps," and I did, and they still tried to get around them.
So, no, I'm not dealing with getting punished if I have more than 2k in my bank account. I'm not dealing with people touching me, or my assistive devices (I don't currently use any). I can park anywhere in a lot and walk to the store entrance. But I was disabled, and I AM disabled, and I have had people try to punish me for existing in a body that just fucking HURTS because it HURTS.
It's Disability Awareness Month. I am disabled. Less so than I was ten years ago, which is a fucking stroke of luck. But also my right hip has started to go now, and who knows what the next 10 years will bring.
It's Disability Awareness Month. If someone says, "I'm disabled, and I want to talk about my experience," please pay attention and listen and learn and understand there's all sorts of ways disabled people are fighting to be treated with basic human dignity and under the basic rule of law.
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Okay as a disabled trans man, let me tell you how this sounds a lot better than it actually is.
The ADA is an amazing bill, it took a lot of work from disability activists to pass. It is still seen as a bit too progressive for a lot of corporate America because it requires businesses to accommodate their employees and to let disabled people use their services.
It is unique to disability because of accommodations. It needs to exist separately from other rights bills because disabled people cannot simply get equal access and have actual equality obtained. This bill is one of the few that focus on equity.
I have yet to be actually protected by the ADA as a disabled person. All of my progress and accommodations are from Section 504, which has a limited reach but is more enforced by the U.S. government.
Here are some reasons why this ruling has me incredibly conflicted:
Putting the protection under the diagnosis of gender dysphoria allows employers and other authority figures to require trans people to have that diagnosis to request "accommodations." Which will likely be seen as being able to change their name at work or school without a legal name change, go by pronouns other than their agab, use the correctly gendered spaces, etc. It puts the entire transgender identity into the hands of doctors.
Meaning that if a trans person wants to get basic respect, an employer can require them to get a doctors note for it. You need healthcare, time, and luck getting a doctor that will diagnose you if you are not already diagnosed.
This should be obvious but yeah, requesting accommodation gives employers the right to have some access to your medical records. Many people do not know that it's against the law for an employer to request medical records unrelated to disability, and employers will try to do that with trans people.
It has been stated by researchers that gender dysphoria should not be diagnosed unless specifically requested by the patient for health insurance coverage because of the stigma it causes and because how little health providers are informed on it.
This legal ruling for the United States puts all trans people under a medicalized view. It puts our rights not in our hands but in the hands of medical authority. A lot of trans people do not have a good fucking time at the doctors office despite the overwhelming support that transition should be seen as medically necessary.
It clarifies that gender dysphoria is seen as a mental disorder like other disabilities. If American society ran on the social model of disability, where disability is seen as a natural variation, this would be fine. Sadly, it runs on the medical model, where disability is seen as something to get fixed. This ruling implies that gender dysphoria is unnatural instead of a normal reaction to having a gender identity that does not match your birth-assigned one. This goes against the view that even medical practitioners take with gender dysphoria.
The ADA needs to be enforced by the individual in courts. If you are discriminated against, you need the time and money to go to court for years on something that is usually hard to prove. I got fired from a job for requesting accommodations but never did anything about it because even if I did have a case, not many lawyers would bother taking a reward from a minimum-wage job.
Small businesses (businesses with under 15 employees) do not need to abide by the ADA. At all. Under this, a small business denying trans people services is still completely legal.
"Analysis of cases decided under Title I of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), which addresses employment discrimination, reveals that defendants have consistently prevailed in well over 90% of cases since the ADA’s inception."
Luckily the amended ADA in 2008 allows for the protection of those who are perceived as disabled, so even without diagnosis, there can still be a case when it comes to discrimination from strangers.
Still, even though it's disability pride month, it is not good to be lumped in with us regarding rights because often it's "hey that's illegal" and nothing comes of it. Public attitudes influence how laws are enforced, and public attitudes on disability are abysmal.
I am not trying to play the oppression Olympics, I am trying to give a good overview. This can be an improvement for some trans people, and it especially helps with the constant healthcare bans we are seeing. I am incredibly worried about this, though, and I need to share why that is.
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