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dzpenumbra · 1 year

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5/30/23

It's odd saying I'm starting this early at 3:45 AM, but I guess that's what happens when you start drinking coffee at 5 PM.

I, once again, didn't really do much today. And I'm not horribly bummed about it, honestly. Today, it's okay.

I'm feeling a bit aimless. And... going through that whole... "my art isn't going anywhere, I could be working on 'something better'" thing. It's obnoxious. At least I don't just blindly submit to it now, that's improvement.

The current open projects are: the skull, the wooden bead necklaces, the abstract ink drawings. And... none of them are really calling me right now. The skull, I kinda hit a mental block design-wise. The beads, I have to pick a day and go out and try out this spray acrylic sealer I've never used before, and figure out how to suspend beads to spray them, but without them touching each other, so they don't stick together. That kinda just put me off a bit, honestly. Long term, it might be a better idea to find a sealer that isn't Mod Podge, that doesn't have that tacky finish to it. I don't know. Or I should just bite the bullet and give it a go and see how it turns out. The abstract ink drawings? Well... I'm running into that age-old nasty reflex trained into me from a young age. I don't know if it's an American thing, a modern era thing, or just the upbringing I had... but the whole "how do I sell this?" reflex is like... good lord, it's so unbelievably anti-creativity.

Nothing in my life has killed more creative ideas than the thought "how do I sell this? Will this sell? Can I pay my bills with this?" It's so deeply unsettling. It's like... maybe not even at a conscious level... this social system is designed to... discourage creative thought. I mean, just look around. Which has more incentive? Making something that follows analytic trends and formulas? Or making something truly reflective of you as a creative, truly unique? Which is better rewarded?

I don't feel like soapboxing, the whole topic makes me so deeply depressed that I struggle to even put it into words. It just feels like we're in this phase of reboots and milking nostalgia dry for cash and copy-pasting memes and using AI to make illusions of creativity. It feels like... an age of imitation, where everyone is copying others, who are also faking it. And my life-goal in all of this? To just be as true to the concepts I stumble across as I can. And be as true to my experience and process as possible.

I feel like there's a difference between being creative and being industrious. And I don't know if support for creatives is very common out there anymore. But, of course, my perspective is very biased and comes from a place of isolation... so... maybe there are tons of people nurturing creativity... and I'm just craving it. I'm just disconnected from it. I don't know.

I said I'm not going to soapbox, so I'm done. Again, it just bums me out too much, and I'm sure it's not completely true... rather, more a reflection of my fears. Because if it were true? What purpose do I have? That's spooky, you know? But that's the old "you need to create value for others" crap I got drilled into my head by my mom talking.

So yeah, maybe what I need to do tomorrow is... okay, let's try prepping a few new test beads and taking them outside and spraying them. That way I don't have to worry about "ruining" the beads I have already made. I'll do a few that are just ink dyed and a few with Mod Podge on them. Then, if that process ends up going okay and the results are good, I'll be good to just go spray the whole batch. And the plan right now is to use copper wire or string to suspend them, and put cardboard underneath so I'm not spraying all over the grass or whatever. I don't know, I'll figure the rest out when I get there. The goal is to do that tomorrow, we'll see how that plays out.

I did yoga this morning and god was it a welcome return. I enjoyed it. But... I found some bugs on my jasmine plant. I honestly have no clue how they got there, I'm guessing they came with the cutting? I have no clue. I'm praying they didn't infest my tomato or my chili, I'm going to check them before bed to make sure. They were these weird things that looked like pillbugs, or roly-polys (however you spell that), I'm guessing some kind of plant lice, gross little shits. I just plucked them off and flung them out the window. So... that was a bummer... but...

The jasmine bloomed today. And the whole apartment smelled of it. They smell very strong, and... there really aren't a ton of flowers either... so... XD I may have bit off more than I could chew? I hope not. I've been a bit anxious about it, like... that's one thing I didn't really take into consideration before buying what will grow into a full fucking bush... whether I will like the aroma... It was really a leap of faith with it, and I really did just get the plant because of the novelty of it blooming at night. The scent is intense, but it's not bad, it's just going to take some getting used to. I spent a little time today looking up bonsais, and seeing whether you can make this species into a bonsai, and apparently you can. So... that could be a thing down the line.

So yeah, I played a bit of Risk of Rain earlier in the day, I took care of the plants, I took a shower, I did laundry, I cooked some food, I watched the tail-end of a stream, and I've just sorta been floating around since.

I've been trying to listen for my inspiration, but it feels distant right now. It feels... dull, like music on the other side of a thick wall. Speaking of music... I played guitar a bunch today, so that was good. The only real inspiration that called me today was... I realized a lot of my clothes don't fit me anymore. And are getting really old and beaten up. And I've always... I mean always been the kind of person that wears clothes until they are literally unwearable. To the point where I actually want to learn how to tailor, or at least patch clothing so I can extend its lifespan. But in my laundry today was that old white Parkway Drive wifebeater... and that thing is basically yellow at this point. I never really saw the color change because of how gradual it was, but years of sweat and smoke and age... yeah, I think it's time to retire it. But... my inspiration chimed in and said... "hey, you know... you could just... order some blank shirts off that place you got that fabric paint from... And get some fabric for wall hangings too, while you're at it... and get that delivered to the building. Then you can just make your own shirts. And you can make fabric art for like... display, too. Like tapestries and shit." And... it's not a half-bad idea.

But this reflex comes out and intercepts. Guess which one? The money one. Of course. In a very smart and practical tone of voice, too. And it says "hey bud, that's cool and all but... are you really going to invest more money into a project like this when you already have... how many open projects?"

And I struggle to maintain a balance there. In my experience, I make my best work when I follow whatever I'm inspired to work on. Even if that means a project lays dormant for years at a time. Even if that means some projects get started and never get finished. I feel like that's just sorta... the nature of the beast. This isn't like cooking or something, where once you start cooking something you kinda have to finish cooking it... or building a house, or something? I don't know. Like... let's take a piece I did last winter. It's a piece of cardboard, probably 5 inches by 12 inches, I painted a black border around it, a green and yellow organic pattern as a background and big all-caps lettering "BE HERE NOW" on it in gold ink. And it sat on my tables and cabinets and shit for months. And I took the opportunity, when I was sealing the yellow beads, to finally add a coat of Mod Podge to it to seal it and call it "finished". Is it actually "finished"? Fuck no! I could add edges to it to camouflage that it's made of cardboard. I could just use pushpins to mount it on the wall. I could mount it with cardstock and set it in a picture frame and hang it on my wall. There's tons of shit I could still do with it, even with the final coat on it. All work is a work in progress. Or, better put by one of my mentors, gone well before his time: "Art is never finished, only stopped."

So... maybe I should be a little gentler on myself, and give myself some leeway. I'm just... it's the money part. It's fucking money, I swear, every time. Every goddamn creative problem I have comes back to it. Ugh. Oh well. I'll think that over tomorrow. It's probably not as expensive as I think it is.

Birds are starting to chirp and... god this is so weird to say, I guess I'll get used to it in time... it smells different in here. XD I think the flowers closed up. Maybe it's in my head and I'm just used to the smell, I don't know... Either way, it's getting late, so.... tarot time!

First Position - Past - IV: The Emperor (A powerful, dominant, strategic and protective figure of great influence and reach. Symbolically, important changes, a shift in power, new responsibilities or authority. Adjacently symbolizes stability.) Second Position - Present - Ace of Wands, inverted (Inspiration, creativity, fresh ideas. The seed of confidence you need to embark on a new creative journey.) Third Position - Future - Ace of Cups (A new relationship and the accompanying surge of emotions. Getting in touch with your feelings. Matters of the heart. A deepening bond.)

Alright... here we go. So... this thread sources from either a strong male figure, myself as a strong male figure, or the concepts that come along with that. Stability, growth, expansion, protection. I was putting this card description into my Google Doc notes because this was the first time I've drawn it and... I have a section in there for "Personal Association/Memory", to help me learn the cards at a very personal level and... I was drawing a blank. I really haven't had many... I would venture to even say any figures like that in my life. And because of that... I kinda took on that role myself. And set it as a goal for myself. To be a good role model, and... maybe someday... a good father. It was a very "goes without saying" goal of mine my entire adult life... until very recently. I guess since I crossed the 35 year mark. And I started trying to ground myself in the reality that I... may go to my grave never being a father. And that's okay, I guess. I was a father for my pets, and I was a really good dad for them, at least towards the end once I got my shit together. So... I guess... this card might be referring to... my inner Dad. The part of myself that keeps me safe, keeps me secure, keeps me protected and stable and responsible. That's my theory on this.

That Emperor symbol from the Past is connected to... an inverted Ace of Wands. Aces are the beginnings of the journey of that element, and Wands is creativity/creation. And the second I drew that card, I chuckled, because I spent pretty much this entire journal entry (and last one) talking about creative block and a lack of inspiration. Or, at least, dysfunction with my inspiration. And the inverted Ace of Wands is the embodiment of that. So... pretty straight-forward there.

What that's connected to, as an outcome in the Future... is the Ace of Cups. We got this a few days ago. The Ace of Cups is the start down the journey of emotions, perhaps social connection. It's that giant surge of emotions you get on a first date. At least, that's how I've been reading the card; as a giant outburst or influx of emotions. In that context, this narrative makes sense to me.

How I'm reading this... is that I have a protective figure inside me... maybe it's the budget guy? The "will it sell" guy? The "will you ever make enough to pay rent" guy? Who is trying to keep me safe in a very practical, fatherly way. He's looking out for me. "Don't just go buying t-shirts and cloth and stuff, you have projects to work on already, just write it down and come back to it, we're on a budget right now." That inner fatherly voice, keeping my creative self in check from impulsively ordering. But this practical Emperor... can cause disruptions with my inspiration. I mean, I was literally complaining about it this entire post! "hey bud, that's cool and all but... are you really going to invest more money into a project like this when you already have... how many open projects?" I fucking quoted it! And that's literally snuffing out an inspiration spark before it has a chance to take root, because it's not in the budget. It's not finding a way to make it work, it's not figuring out what work I can do on that project with what I have on hand... it's just diverting my attention away from my inspiration and back over to my other projects. Which obviously puts my inspiration and creative project into disarray. And the result of this? If it goes unchecked? Well... that's the part I've been trying to understand, because... I kinda got the vibe from Ace of Cups that it was a "positive" card... like a "welcome to a new relationship" kinda card... but... in this context, it really doesn't feel that way. It feels like it's a giant surge of emotion, and me submitting to that emotion, or being powerless to it. Not necessarily being out of control or in disorder from it, but being consumed by it. And that would probably be... anxiety? Depression? Frustration? I guess.

I'm a bit shaky on the last bit, because... again... if that Ace of Cups was inverted it would make perfect sense to me. But... I mean... given the context of the other cards... I just don't really see any big primal outpouring of emotions coming from an inverted Ace of Wands being... good emotions...

So... my inner Father is being a bit too tough on me and is stifling my creativity... and I need to regulate and tweak the way I do that a bit or... I could be headed to a big emotional surge that isn't necessarily a good one. That makes sense to me.

Alright, it's late. Well... early. Whatever. I'm heading to bed.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness

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smokedanced · 2 years

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@asoulofstars said: Mass Effect for the fandom meme!

Favorite character. is it terrible to say shepard when shepard is literally the player character and essentially an oc? but i’m going to say shepard anyway, specifically mine, lol. i just love her a lot. i like default femshep in general a lot, as well as a lot of people’s portrayal of her. Second favorite character. garrus vakarian. Least favorite character. motherfucking kai leng. i feel like i hate him as much as shep does in canon, and just. listen. i love a lot of villain characters. i even like the illusive man as a character. i adore saren. kai leng? just... nope. ridiculous. also this is for thane you son of a bitch -stabs- The character I’m most like. edi!!!! i realise me comparing myself to a literal AI is a very textbook autism move, but this is literally stuff i like to talk about! Favorite pairing. i’m very much a multishipper at heart. but shakarian, because they’re built on such a strong friendship. considering the “there’s no shepard without vakarian” line is included when they are platonic? but like i said, i’m very multishippy with mass effect and probably ship most things if i feel like it pffff. i have a lot of rarepairs for this fandom as well, like joker/shep and saren/shep. i’ve read aria/shep and even a really well written edi/shep (set in me2 timeline as well which made it extra interesting as edi literally has no body) fic. and my shipping of course is not limited to shepard ships either! aria/tevos, aria/nyreen, joker/edi, miranda/jack... i have like unlimited capacity to ship in these games lol. Least favorite pairing. i don’t really waste energy focusing on ships i don’t like. Favorite moment. ah shit, out of all the games?! hard-pressed to pick just one. tali’s loyalty mission on me2, playing as joker when the collectors attack the normandy on me2, the fucking prologue where shepard dies on me2 because deliciously painful, archangel mission/garrus reunion, i realise i am just listing second game things now.................... it is my fave out of the three XD ah fuck, me3: “does this unit have a soul?”, mordin’s death (i don’t want him to die but it was well written!) if curing the genophage, seeing the citadel in ruins towards the end of me1 is v powerful... grissom academy mission on me3 when you saved david & jack reunion, liara scenes throughout me3, generally interactions with the squad, hold on, hold on, wait, i got my one answer though: the entire citadel dlc. best fucking fourth wall breaks and happy meta in the middle of all the crying. ok done. Rating out of 10. 8/10 vanilla. 10/10 with appropriate mods, including modding the motherfucking ending. it’s mostly the ending that lowers it form 10/10 in general for me.

#asoulofstars #thank you i know you don't even go to this fandom XD #; outofsmoke

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fangroyal · 3 years

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Fic Rec Tag Meme

@sitp-recs, I’m terribly late, but this looked way too fun, so I had to join in. Fair warning, y’all, not everything here is Drarry, or even HP (I am a prolific rarepair shipper/multi-fandomer, and Dron is my OTP 😂), so I’ve added the fandoms and pairings below as well. All of these (and many more!) can also be found on my ficshelf! It was so hard to pick these as it was, I couldn’t help but point you in the right direction for all the ones I (sadly, unfortunately) had to cut from the list, lol.

Anyway, thank you so much for running this tag meme, @sitp-recs! It’s been amazing seeing everyone’s recs and discovering new fics! 🖤

• A fic you love without knowing the source material: He Was a Punk, Pete Did Tabletop Roleplay by @mscaptainwinchester Marvel | Peter/Wade | NC-17 | 7.5k

• A fic with a premise that shouldn’t work but it does: Anthony J. Crowley, Retired Demon and Airbnb Superhost by @theoldaquarian Good Omens | Hints of Aziraphale/Crowley | G | 3k All fics are valid and work!! That being said, I had no idea just how much I was going to fall in love with a fic about Crowley being an AirBnB host when I first opened it. 😂

• A fic you’ve reread several times: Department of Magical Creatures Case 62637 by @mscaptainwinchester (under RonsPigwidgeon at the time) HP | Draco/various, Ron/OMC, Ron/Draco | R | 121k How could I expected to only pick ONE?! 😂 I’ve reread everything you’re seeing here - I’ve reread nearly every fic I’ve ever recced at least once. But I couldn’t make a favorites list without this fic, so might as well put it here, haha!

• A fic you still remember many years later: Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble by Sushi HP | Severus/Severus | NC-17 | 8.9k I remembered it so well (and fondly) that after 12+ years, I went scouring the Wayback Machine to find it. And yes, the pairing is correct. Don’t look at me. If you’re still interested in reading after knowing that, hit me up, ‘cause it takes a bit of instruction to find it now.

• A comfort fic: You and I by @shiftylinguini HP | Scorpius/Albus S. | NC-17 | 32k

• A cathartic fic: The Conformity Conspiracy by shrink South Park | Michael/Pete (or Ethan/Dylan, as this was written before they had names in canon) | R | 71k I really struggled with this entry. I came to the realization that...I don’t know if I’ve ever actually felt catharsis from a piece of media before??? Well, I have with music, for sure, but not really with anything else. Anyway, I chose this fic for this slot because every time I read it, I’m transported back to being a goth teen. I can feel every word, every action, like I’m going through those years again with them...Which isn’t necessarily what cathartic means, but fuck it, it works for me, haha. ***As always whenever I rec this fic, I do just have to warn that it’s not properly tagged on AO3, and there is definitely some potentially triggering content in it. If you’re interested in reading and would like to know more (so you can be better prepared), feel free to DM me!***

• A fic you’d print and put on your bookshelf: In Flight, Two Boys by lobst_r HP | Marcus/Oliver | NC-17 | 29K Again, how I could possibly pick only one for this one?! I would print out ALL of these fics if I could, and many more! But this is such a beautiful fic, it definitely deserves a spot on the list, and what better spot for it than this? There’s actually a sequel currently posting as well! I haven’t gotten around to reading it yet, but I’m sure it’s just as amazing, if not more so.

• A fic you associate with a song: You Do Your Body Work, I Feel My Pulse Working Overtime by @veelawings HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 1.6k I mean, it’s in the title. 😜 But also this is just a truly inspiring fic that I absolutely had to include! (I realized I somehow haven’t queued a rec post for it yet, and I will make sure to fix that soon!)

• A fic that inspires you: dirtynumbangelboy by @magpiefngrl HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 39k

• A fic that brought you onboard a new ship: Lumos by birdsofshore HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 41k Some people may be surprised to know that Drarry was, uh.......once my NOTP. Yes, really. 😂 You wouldn’t suspect that nowadays, would you??? LOL. It’s all because of this wonderful, beautiful fic. I saw it getting recced everywhere at the time and said fuck it, I’ll give the pairing another try - and I never looked back!

• A fic you wish could be a movie: Midnight in the City of a Hundred Spires by @shiftylinguini HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 25k

• A fic that led to you making friends with the author: A Weasel in the Hamptons by @peachpety HP | Ron/Draco | NC-17 | 15k I don’t quite know if this counts, because I believe we’d already been speaking before this??? 😂 But of course, being that I’m the mod for Ron/Draco Fest, I knew who was writing for this prompt of mine, and thus we dispensed with the formalities in private, haha! It was a great experience, and I was so overjoyed to see the results in the end. So happy to have met you, love! 😘 Hope you’re well!

• Free Space: The Pizzaria: A Sordid Tale of Destiny, Evil and Garlic by Mad_Maudlin HP | Ron/Draco | PG-13 | 36k A Dron/crack!fic staple, honestly, and I just couldn’t make a favorites list without it!

• A fic you’ve gushed about irl: Runway by @candawrites HP | Ron/Draco | R | 15k

• A fic you associate with a place: Archipelago by Mad_Maudlin HP | Ron/Draco | NC-17 | 18k I just have a very distinct visual memory of reading this fic for the first time: sitting on the couch in my mom’s living room, the sun setting outside. (I was visiting for her bday, I believe???) I think of that moment every time I see the title.

• A fic that made you gasp out loud: clutched your life and wished it kept by @glitteringvoids HP | Ron/Draco | R | 110K

• A fic you found at the right time: Howlr by @partialtopotter HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 47k I got really sick in summer 2018. I know I’ve talked about it on here a million times at this point, so I won’t dwell. But I ended up finding and reading this fic the following March, and it reawakened my love of fic and fandom that had been lost over the previous months while I was dealing with everything. I hadn’t been reading or writing at all in all that time, and I ended up reading this whole thing in one sitting. I couldn’t put it down! It just made me feel so good, after a long time of not feeling anywhere near good.

• A fic that you would read fic of: In the Garden After Dark by @the-starryknight HP | Draco/Harry | R | 3.5k I just need more of this universe and Draco’s Illusion magic. 😍

• A fic that made you laugh out loud: Why Parvati Patil Must Die by hull1984 HP | Ron/Draco | PG-13 | 39k

• A fic with a line (or two) that you’ve memorized by heart: Hail to the King by Mad_Maudlin HP | Ron/Zacharias, Ron/Zacharias/Draco | NC-17 | 5k

• A fic that gave you butterflies: The Electric Fizzing Prick Pistols, or Whatever by whitmans_kiss HP | Sirius/Remus | PG-13 | 3.8k

• A fic that embodies something that you value in life: Luna Lovegood: Wank Coach for the Long-Since Deceased by yrfrndfrnkly HP | gen | PG-13 | 9.8k This was another difficult category to choose for. Not that I don’t think any fics I’ve read display good values! Of course they do! But I have this weird issue where I don’t, like...project? at all??? So sometimes it’s hard for me to recognize these things in what I read. But eventually I realized it had to be this fic, because I just love the carefree way Luna lives her life here, her job helping people (well, ghosts who could use some sexual release, specifically, but you know), and the wonderful friends she surrounds herself with.

• A favorite AU: Quibbler Unsolved by Leontina HP | Draco/Harry | PG-13 | 17k More of a fusion than an AU, but it’s just fantastic!

• A fic you stayed up too late to finish reading: Grounds for Divorce by @tepre HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 122k

• A fic that made you feel seen: Taste the Rainbow by @maraudersaffair HP | Ginny/Pansy | PG-13 | 639

#fic rec tag meme #fangqueen recs fics #fangqueen speaks

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papakhan · 3 years

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If you were to rewrite Jessup to be a companion, how would you do it? Meaning, would you keep McMurphy dead? What would Jessup's companion quest be? Etc, etc.

My answer is different depending on what perspective. In a strictly modding sense, McMurphy would probably unfortunately have to remain dead, since I don't really know how you'd bring him back and what purpose that'd fill.

McMurphy staying dead also gives Jessup motivation to join the courier in a quest for revenge, since my interpretation of McMurphy's death is that he had enough of Benny not paying them, confronted him, and was shot by Benny, who then fled and began shooting at a passing NCR patrol to give the illusion that the Khans were firing at them.

However I love McMurphy and I don't want him to be dead, so from a story perspective, I'd want him alive. I think he offers an interesting, much more level-headed side of the Khans more akin to Regis but he has different morals to both Regis and Jessup because he's willing to bend the Khans rules, doesn't like raiding, but is almost--almost willing to abandon Chance BUT is the same man who extends a hand to Manny Vargas to return to the Khans. I think he could be an incredibly interesting character and it's such a shame that he's killed off before you can meet him.

Anyway. Jessup.

I think his companion quest could be a lot of things. The Khans are woefully underexplored in game and it could be great way to explore them through someone who Isn't part of their government. Maybe you could organise a raid or some other Khan work with him, or work through his feelings about Chance's death and try to honour him in some way. The personal quests in New Vegas end in a choice of some sort, but I can't see Jessup wanting to leave the Khans or anything. Maybe he's fighting between becoming a closed-off warrior like Chance turned into, or rediscovering his passion for life with his people despite everything. I'm not sure what exactly it could be, but Jessup's a fun guy going through a lot, so I think it could be pretty good whatever it is.

I do have an idea for his perk tho! With Jessup as a companion, I think Fiends, Jackals, Vipers and Powder Gangers should be more likely to flee from battle because they see him and recognise that he's a Khan warrior and go "OH SHIT" and run away. I think the "not to be fucked with" attitude towards the Khans should be capitalised on more. Maybe you could even have some speech checks you could use that with, like intimidating the Freeside drug dealer out of doing business or "face the wrath of the khans" or something yknow

I am in the process of very very slowly filling out one of those companion memes so that might see the light of day one day! probably not soon but maybe! Thank you for the ask!!

#anonymous #in an ideal world id love to have chance and mcmurphy around but.. yknow #jessup the companion #txt

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secondsister-a · 4 years

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The Hella Sweet Munday Meme // ACCEPTING ↳ @graunblida said: What if i sent you all the munday meme symbols? 👀

I can’t believe you’ve done this. Under a readmore for length.

♻ Any advice on improving Tumblr RP experience?

The faster you learn to not care about other people and only do this for yourself the happier you’ll be. It’s not always easy, and I struggle sometimes too because I’m a very competitive person, but lately I’ve let myself just float between blogs wherever I’ve felt like being, doing my drafts at my own pace and it’s way less stress and made things much more manageable. Also dash only is a godsend.

⛅ Do you believe aesthetics are another form of expression?

I mean yeah? Although I think some people do it because they feel like they have to. I’ve had people say to me they HAVE to follow the trends and aesthetics or else they feel like no one will write with them. Which is a shame. But I’ve never felt that kind of pressure so I just do what I want with mind. I think they’re fairly moderate as far as aesthetics go.

☮ Are you feeling happy and inspired right now?

Kind of. I feel inspiration but I don’t have a lot of energy, unfortunately. It’s difficult for me to muster up the will to write after work when all I want to do is sleep lol.

☄ Has someone ever admitted to being inspired by you?

Surprisingly yes!

⚌ Who inspires you?

Oof pretty much everyone I follow. For someone specific though I’m gonna @queensloyal bc I was reading their threads earlier and thought their prose was really lovely.

♋ Are there any FC’s you believe should be used more? Why?

Not really? This is the first fandom I’ve been in tbh that was more real people so I’m not well versed in faceclaims and who is/isn’t popular.

☸ Do you reblog from the source when someone practices reblog karma or do you follow it?

Personally I don’t see why people get so upset about it, but I only reblog memes from people if I can send one in. Otherwise I’ll reblog from the source. I don’t care if they reblog from me though.

☯ Do you believe you’re a forgiving person?

Depends on what it was for. Slight annoyances I don’t hold grudges for ( and I’ll let people know if I they did something that upset me ) but I’m not one to let people treat me badly so.

⚑ Have you been forgiven for a mistake you’ve made?

Yes.

♛ Have you ever seen drama be maturely sorted out?

I don’t think I would have seen it if it was sorted out maturely lol.

♞ Do you tend to ignore drama?

For the most part yeah. Although I admit to being nosy.

☾ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

When it involved people I knew personally, yes. Otherwise I wouldn’t try to get in the middle of things that aren’t my business.

☻ Have you ever made someone a promo or a positive shoutout?

Yes!

☎ What do you think about bias lists?

They’re nice. I’m always surprised when I’m included.

☈ How many people would you say likes you?

Probably a good number.

♡ How many people do you like? Are there any people in particular that pop up?

So many people, @bleachsthetic @graunblida @fifthbornforrester @forcemetry @ordersurvived @twinwestars @sensedechoes ...... many more.....

☢ What calms you down after negativity?

Idk if I would say it calms me down necessarily but really the only thing I can do is go on an anger rant in private lol. And get it all out.

☠ What keeps you happy?

The illusion of productivity.

☘ Is there anything that makes you instantly want to follow someone?

Uhhh they know about JFO, they’re pro-Jedi, they HC their female muse as a WLW

☕ Is it often you hear people complimenting your blog? Characters, writing, theme, icons, etc.

I wouldn’t say often, but it happens sometimes :)

☂ What’s your best RP experience?

I don’t know, I’ve been rp’ing so long and all the different fandoms I’ve been in have had their pros and cons. I really enjoyed my stay in the Bleach fandom though with @bleachsthetic.

☐ What trends are you currently into?

I don’t think I’m really into any current trends? Unless you count the banners a trend lol. Writing wise I’m pretty much just bopping along doing whatever.

★ What fandom do you consider welcoming?

Steven Universe fandom was the most welcoming fandom I’ve ever been in, although this one was pretty warm too.

☆ What are some the perks with the fandom you’re currently in?

There’s different corners for the different parts you’re interested in. There are the prequel muses and sequel muses and original trilogy muses, depending which one is your favorite. Some are more active than others, but at least they’re all at least moderately active. And most people have AU’s for different eras.

☉ What fandom do you believe needs improvement? What could you do to do that?

Tbh, I couldn’t say; I’m not involved in a lot of other fandoms. But speaking from experience in big fandoms, the only thing you can do really is curate your experience. People are gonna be annoying and problematic. Block and move on.

♦ How has roleplaying on Tumblr improved since you started out?

In some ways. I think its a little bit slower than it used to be, but more in depth. So I suppose it’s a trade off.

♨ Have you ever roleplayed with someone that has been problematic but offered critique and then watched them improve?

Uhhhhhh no. I’ve modded servers before and had to tell people why they were problematic but they just sort...of left and never improved lol.

⚓ Are there any small details you tend to like in roleplays?

I love when there are opportunities to include head canons in actual threads, whether it be mine or my partner’s.

⚡ What are the good sides with duplicates?

Finding someone who likes the same character. JFO is a pretty small portion of the fandom. I actually don’t really see anyone writing Trilla actively atm.

☀ What’s the best thing about roleplaying?

Meeting new people and making friends :)

⛵ What genres do you like writing the most?

Just like...random slice of life and also shippy things.

☺ What tends to bring out your muse the most? What inspires you?

Talking and plotting ooc gets me excited to write and inspires me to tackle my drafts.

#AND I FEEL THE FORCE IN THIS CHILI'S TONIGHT / OOC.#graunblida #are u proud of yourself #long post

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illusivesoul · 4 years

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Describe my blog - Tag meme

Tagged by @starsandskies Thank you so much!

I'll tag @briarfox13 @bronzeagelove @1esk19 @liveinthehills @anzellla @bardofheartdive and @natsora . Only if you feel like doing this, of course.

1. Icon: Currently is an icon of Morinth I found while checking old posts. Tought it looked cool.

2. Content: Mass Effect and Dragon Age posts, screenshots and gif sets. Tag and Ask Memes. Also been posting buff girls coz buff ladies are 👌

3. Letter color: White grey-ish.

4. URL: Back in 2017 I made it. Illusive as a nod to one of my favorite ME characters, the Illusive Man, and soul cause I thought it mixed nicely with it lol

5. Header: A screenshot of my Katerina Shepard, Liara and Kaidan (my fav characters) from my latest ME1 run.

6. Blog title: My motto after I discovered the buff femshep mod for me3. Buff Shep is the best Shep and that’s a fact.

#tag meme

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zexalmonth · 5 years

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Zexal Month Prompt Page

Hey everyone, Pyra here and here are the prompts for our third Zexal Month!

The new mod team and I -literally a bunch of chaotic demons in a discord chat- have been very excited and have been working hard on a bunch of prompts and alternative prompts to bring back your hyper-fixation on Zexal. August isn’t far away, friends! So if you want to prep for Zexal Month early, here’s your chance!

List is under the cut! Enjoy!

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Week 1

Day 1: 1st of August Presenting you.

Who are you and what made you watch Zexal?

Day 2: 2nd of August Kattobingu brings us together

Tell/show us your favourite thing about your favourite character/or friendship

3rd and 4th of August Weekends are breaks/free prompts/time to prep for next week. So do what you want!

Week 2 Artists

Day 1: 5th of August Fashion icons.

Honestly, just use this an excuse to throw your character in a fancy outfit. Show us alternative costumes, clothes, and fashion, or even an alternate design of someone!

Day 2: 6th of August A Different Mantle.

Yuma the Barian Lord? Vector the Numbers Hunter? Rio the Arclight? Mix the teams up and show us how it affects the story!

Day 3: 7th of August The Family I’ve never known.

Ena, Mirai Tsukumo, the Kamishiro parents, the poor women who ended up marrying Faker and Tron… So many characters were skipped over in Zexal. Show us headcanons and pictures of these unsung heroes. Alternatively, draw fan children! You know you want to.

Day 4: 8th of August A long time ago, far in the future.

Show us characters at different ages! Maybe them as senior citizens, or as hot parents, or babies!

Day 5: 9th of August Space and the cosmos.

Hey, interpret this as you will. Maybe you could do something about the three planets floating in Zexal skies. Or what happens post-Zexal. Or Tron’s weird galaxy face.

Week 3: Writers

Day 1: 12th of August An Angsty Teen Drama.

Give us angst. Death scenes. Breakups. Injury. Pining. Mutual pining. Forbidden love. Cheating. Whatever it is, make the characters (and us) hurt. (Happy endings optional but not mandatory).

Day 2: 13th of August Love is a revolving door.

Give us your OTP. Show us why you love it so much and let them be happy (unless you like it because of the angst. Go do what you want, I’m not your mum).

Day 3: 14th of August What if there were no magic card games?

What if the Zexal cast had to be in our world? Give us some sort of modern AU! Go domestic and coffee shop style or go assassins gunning each other down or something in between!

Day 4: 15th of August Xyz Beyond Time!

Crossover time! Whether with another Yugioh series or a different show, show us a crossover with Zexal!

Day 5: 16th of August The many threads of fate.

Free AU day. Show us what you’ve thought about in your spare time, even if you’ve never done anything for that AU before.

Week 4: Video/Animation

Day 1: 19th of August LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Hey, who put memes here? It’s just memes both new and old, plus maybe some old fandom jokes. Or something. I don’t know, unleash your inner degenerate.

Day 2: 20th of August The World is Beautiful.

Whether you do animatics or capture gifs, we want to showcase your work here! Capture your favourite part of Zexal. Those who don’t do either, feel free to talk/show what’s your favourite visual scene/scenery of Zexal!

Day 3: 21st of August DJ Earworm.

What’s your favourite Zexal BGM? Either talk about it or do a picture/piece of writing/gif work/amv to the duration of the song! See what you can achieve in 4 minutes!

Day 4: 22nd of August That one, but again.

This one goes out to all you animators. Reanimate your favourite scene from Zexal. Alternatively, for everyone else, just show us your favourite scene in Zexal.

Day 5: 23rd of August AMV hell.

Fan Video time! It doesn’t have to be an AMV too! Vines/Jokes/movie trailers… show us what you’ve got! If you don’t make AMVs, go youtube some and give a shoutout. Alternatively, writers/artists could write a prompt based on a Zexal video they find! Remember to reference videos properly!

Week 5: Fandom week

Day 1: 26th of August Battle of the Bands!

Are you a Numbers Club fan? A Barian Emperors fan? An Arclight fan? A Fearsome Four fan? Something else entirely? Why do you like that group the best? Show us something with them!

Note: This prompt does not have to include a battle of the bands AU unless you want to include it.

Day 2: 27th of August Illuminati confirmed

Fan Theory Day! As much as we love Zexal, there are some plot holes. Fill in the gaps or show us a theory you’ve been concocting!

Day 3: 28th of August The Me that’s not me.

What’s your favourite character? What character do you relate to? Why is this character special to you? Show us your story.

Day 4: 29th of August The Me to aspire to be.

Show us a person in the fandom that you look up to. Or you did look up to back in the day. Give them a shout out, show them why you liked what they did. If there’s no one, tell us a second character you’re really inspired by from Zexal.

Day 5: 30th of August Where are you now?

Zexal Month has always been about the community. Even if Zexal may not be our current fandom, it still holds a special place. For those currently in the Zexal fandom and active, tell us what you like about it. For those fossils like me, talk about your new fandoms and maybe do a small crossover with Zexal to show why you love your new fandom so much.

Finale 31st of August Goodbye for now.

This is another free day! Catch up on a day you missed or go to the alternative prompts page. However, it is also our chance to thank you all for participating. Tell us what you liked about Zexal Month, what you didn’t like, and what can be improved.

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As you can see, each week, the prompts will be focused on a different sort of medium: art, writing, video editing/animating and general fandom creation. Of course, you can put forth whatever media you want to whatever prompt! We’d love to see an AMV of your Modern Day AU for example! We just thought having more focused prompts would help.

If you somehow don’t want to do any of the board prompts, that’s cool. Here’s a list of alternative prompts you can do any day that fits the more conventional style of fandom weeks/months. You can pick and choose, you can RNG it, or combine prompts… whatever you want! Just have fun!

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Alternative Prompts

kittywampus - a disorganised mess

Agelast- A person who never laughs.

Amatorculist- A little insignificant lover; a pretender to affection

Petrichor- The smell of earth after rain.

Dragon tales

Hallucinations/Illusions

Growing up/Becoming an adult

Time loop AU

Monster/Supernatural AU

A Perfect ending

That’s all from me! See you in 31 days!

-Mod Pyra

God tumblr ruins .png so bad

#Zexal #zexal month #zexal month 2019 #yugioh zexal

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yogpetshame · 6 years

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twitter DOT com/lomadia/status/1008295252371832832 Case in point...

Here’s a better link…

Hannah seems to delight in making herself seem like a useless clown anytime a ban happens. I’ve found that when it comes to bans, most professional, respectable streamers… do everything Hannah does not do.

Don’t argue with someone after they’re banned. You banned them because you didn’t want to talk to them anymore. Now you’re just being ambiguous and delivering an uncomfortable amount of personal attention to someone you dislike.

Don’t gossip with your mods about bans. Good streamers deliver broad mandates, break ties, and are otherwise totally uninvolved in the business of modding. This keeps people from feeling like they have a personal beef with the streamer, and lets mods carry the heat like they’re supposed to. And, ultimately, the streamer is happier for it.

Don’t relish banning people. Ideally, don’t even allow the person who was banned to find out that you even know they were banned. Build the illusion that you were never aware of this person in the first place, so they have no reason to reach out. Make it like A Christmas Carol - create a happy world where this person no longer exists. That’s the only message you need to send.

Don’t get personal. You don’t know what a person is dealing with irl. You don’t. You can read fifty pages of chat logs and you still don’t. And you shouldn’t try to find out. If someone broke the rules, let the mods ban them, don’t pick play PI (even though Hannah loves to snoop into people’s lives) if you’re only going to ban the person anyway. For example, imagine how many severely bipolar people get bans in proportion to the rest of the population. Is it better to snoop and probe and bother those people just so you can find out they’re bipolar? You’re not going to put up with it even after finding out, so why lower yourself to creeping?

Only talk to a banned person if you absolutely have to - and I’m really straining here at reasons you would have to. The only possible reason I can think of would be that, by not responding to this person, they might try to continue a business relationship with you - to re-sub or pay you for some service you don’t want to give them. So you have to respond and say, no, if you send me money for that I am going to give you a refund.. That’s the only reason. Arguing about smoking memes is not a reason.

#lomadia #yogscast #Anonymous #yps rutherford

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asexualmonsterfucker · 7 years

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I can't decide, so everything for the Shepard Ask Meme.

I’m doing this all for my current playthrough.

Sol System - What is your Shepard’s class, background, military history?Adept to Sentinel, Spacer, Sole Survivor. (My original was Infiltrator to Adept or Vanguard, I can’t remember, Earthborn, War Hero)

Earth - Where was your Shepard born?Joab, right before a mission. Hannah Shepard insisted that she would be fine with the mission, despite her due date approaching fast. After her daughter was born, she finally accepted that she wasn’t in the best shape.

Milky Way - What is your Shepard’s full name? Do they have a nickname?Aster Shepard. Her only nickname is ‘Shep’, sometimes she wonders if any of her friends even know her name.

Constellation - Does your Shepard have a family? Are they alive?Her mother, Hannah, was alive. She is currently presumed dead.Shepard’s father, Johnathan, went missing in action.Shepard’s older sister, Ellen, died from cancer, excessive eezo exposure.

Nebula - Who is your Shepard’s best friend?Jeff (Joker), obviously. The two have been together for a long time, they have each other’s backs and will fight someone for any shit talk (yes, that does include Joker)

Stars - Who is your Shepard’s LI?Garrus. What more do I need to say? They have an absolute trust in one another.

Moon - Did your Shepard have any dreams as a child? (dream job, plans for future etc)Shepard always dreamed of being a ‘super strong and powerful biotic like the asari lady’, everyone told her that she could never be as strong as an asari. Shesureshowedthemikilledsome

Sun - Was there a person in your Shepard’s life that changed their view on life/the world? The Illusive Man, he brought her back from the dead. She had died with so many regrets, she was completely shaken. He had brought her back from the dead, defied all logic. She hated him with all her guts, but that thought never left her. She had to live life to it’s fullest, and she knew that she had to challenge her own logic.

Dark nebula - Is there something they’d change about their past?

That she didn’t insist that Ellen come with her to visit Joab again, it’s where the pair was exposed to a large amount of Element Zero

Dwarf star - When was your Shepard’s first kiss?An asari from her N3 training, it was a brief thing, just a bit of experimenting, but it was her first kiss.

Dark energy - Are they a biotic? If yes, how old were they when their powers started to show? Yes, with L5x implant. She was about seven years old when it came out the first time, Hannah had been exposed to Element Zero during her pregnancy.

Ion - Does your Shepard have any tech skills? (engineering, hacking etc)Aster can hack damn well (you should have seen my ME2 playthrough, I couldn’t pass an opportunity to hack something), and she’s pretty good with engineering. She mods her own weapons. Other than that, she has everything her N7 training taught her.

Meteor - Does your Shepard have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? Otherthanherdancingandthatshe’swithaturian? Aster paces, a lot. Whenever she’s stressed, nervous, has too much energy, or is just thinking about something, she will pace. It drives some people insane. She also doesn’t sleep, which also drives some people insane.

Stardust - What kind of clothes do they usually wear off-duty? (sporty, elegant or specific clothes like sweatpants, jeans etc) N7 hoodie, all the time (if the situation allows it and sometimes when it shouldn’t). On and off duty. It’s comfortable as hell.Other than that, it’s whatever she has available and feels like wearing.

Comet - What is your Shepard’s sexuality?Garrusexual. Pansexual, I suppose, gender, sex, and race never mattered to her.

Supernova - When did your Shepard decide to join the Alliance? Was there a breaking point in their life that made them become a soldier?Aster enlisted the second she could, she wanted to follow in her parents’ footsteps. Her father’s death pushed her into the ICT program.

Black hole - What is your Shepard’s greatest fear? Dying, as simple as that sounds, she had died before. She had suffered when she died, she woke up and was immediately betrayed (even if she saw it coming).

Star cluster - Does your Shepard have any mental illnesses and if yes, do they visit a therapist or talk to someone about it? She has horrible PTSD from all the horror’s she’s experienced, however, she refuses to get diagnosed or receive treatment. Sometimes she does talk to Garrus about it.

Galaxy - Under what circumstances do they find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?Killing is usually acceptable for her, as long as they’re clearly guilty of something. Or a merc. Or an asshole. OR ALL OF THE ABOVE!

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stars-dust · 7 years

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Yes, absolutely... I'm a fan of his Gaiden mainly because of him and how it showed a little bit of relationship with Seraphina, Kárdia and Sasha when Sasha was little and everything else, but what really bothered me was Krest, he felt so out of place and people started mocking Dégel because of how strong Krest is and how he saved the story... To me Krest was a pointless character and the Gaiden would've been a lot better without him, not only because it would show us a different side to Dégel

(part 2 because tumblr’s word limits xD) But also because he messed up not only his own cronology (met Garnet 50 years ago, became her ally and then decided to train Dégel, which makes no sense at all if you betrayed the Sanctuary) and also Saint Seiya’s cronology regarding his three Holy Wars (Hades, Poseidon and Ares)Oh, don’t worry about what others say! For example, in the Spanish speaking forum I was part of, the one being made fun of was Krest. People hated him and mocked him relentlessly. I didn’t like him at first either, it took me seeing him in the last gaiden to make peace with him (and he was only 13 when he was given the Misophetamenos).

I was a mod for that forum I mentioned, and man, people had no mercy when they didn’t like something. But I have noticed there are trends of thoughts that become visible in each site, and the mods (and “famous” users) have an influence in that.

In my case, I wasn’t very happy about the gaiden and I was vocal about it. I disliked Krest, the heavy use of the damsel in distress plot device, how Seraphina (who I had hope would be shown as a super cool smart woman, since she was several years older than Dégel, and already a diplomat for Bluegrad when Dégel was still a child) was turned into background decoration, and I could feel my saying it out loud encouraged others users who didn’t like it to say similar things.

So what a user with certain influence says will influence what others around will say (or -scary thing that makes me feel like a villain in retrospect- feel encouraged to share). That’s how that feeling of “everyone feels this/hates this/loves this” is created, but that doesn’t mean everyone actually thinks the same way.

I had a lot of expectations, and therefore a lot of feelings I could not hold back. Too many feelings. Because of my expectations, I could only see the negative things. But I think there were positive things too.

Don’t feel discouraged when other people seem to dislike something you do like. Visible tendencies are sometimes illusions created around certain groups of people. There are things everyone seems to agree on (ex: the Mani gaiden rocks), but it’s not that common for that to happen, when looking around different websites (or talking to people outside the Internet). It’s not always as clear it seems to be at first sight.

When Lost Canvas was being published I used to visit tons of different of websites in different languages, and there were many different opinions. There was a forum where Dégel was the most “hated” character, to the point it had become sort of a meme. There were other places where he was loved to death.

Moral of the story: Enjoy what you enjoy. Analyzing it and discussing it is COOL. It can make people see things in a different way, by showing a different perspective.

I really love Lost Canvas. And I may complain and everything, but I still bought that volume anyway XDAnd by the way: I don’t mind asks. You’re not bothering me in any way!

#starsdust contesta cosas #/#//#the lost canvas #saint seiya #dégel #lost canvas #debería tener una sola tag para lost canvas #mbells #asks

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fentonizer · 7 years

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Achievement from the comfort of your pyjamas

Horizon Zero Dawn is a “good game.”

Strap in, folks.

Horizon Zero Dawn is peak “video games.” It is all things to all people. It is an open-world, action-adventure-rpg with resource gathering, crafting and stealth mechanics.

If you were to send one game into space so that if an alien civilisation found it they would know what human beings thought video games were all about, then Horizon Zero Dawn would be it.

None of this is praise, by the way. Not really. If you asked me to give it a score I would say that the game gets seven points out of ten points. Or I would say that it gets three and a half stars out of five stars. Or I would say that it gets sixty-eight percent (because the number sixty-nine is a meme and should be avoided in these circumstances).

Let’s take a step back. Let’s talk about open world games in general.

Open world games are a genre of video game that are as popular as they are maligned. Like most genres (of any medium), it’s kind of hard to pin down key facets that a game has to have to be open world, but I’ll try- if instead of walking the circuitous ground level path to your objective, you awkwardly try to jump up steep hills, trying to catch a piece of geometry your character can stand on, there’s a good chance you’re playing an open world game.

OK, let’s take another step back. Video games are an interactive medium. the most popular games are about either sports or shooting people with weapons. Conflict, basically. Conflict is inherently the easiest thing to make a game about as you can lose, so it’s easy to give the player a lose-condition and therefore motivation.

There are other ways to motivate the player, of course. You can tell them that there are one-hundred of a thing and they have to find a lot of them, if not all of them. This is a pretty base motivation. You could put something really difficult in the game, something that takes study and mastery to succeed at. The problem with this is that it’s much harder to make a system like that than it is to put one-hundred of a thing in a space.

Open world games often rely a lot on finding lots of a thing. I don’t know how I can say this without being rude, but open world games are generally a time sink. Without a well crafted world that you want to see, there’s no more depth in finding one-hundred of a thing in a hedge maze, or block of flats. Moreover, the only difference between an open-world game like this, and a linear story based game (something like The Last Of Us, which is more similar than you’d think) is the extracurricular padding.

Experience points is another good one to motivate people. Start at level 1, kill an enemy, get 10 experience points. Get 100 experience points and you can get to level 2, and then you’ll be strong enough to fight the thing that gives you 12exp. Get to level 5 and you'll have enough points to learn a new skill! Pretty great, huh?

Crafting is good as well. There’s a very popular game called Minecraft that, as well as lots of mining, had lots of crafting. You get some wood and that makes sticks and planks, and with some sticks and planks you can make a shitty pickaxe that can get you a few stone. Some stone gets you a better pickaxe and then you can mine coal and turn enough stone into a furnace, put the coal in it and smelt copper, and so on. The player is enticed by a branching tree of options as they find more and more things, and they are encouraged to explore and forage to build up supplies of these items.

Horizon Zero Dawn has all of this, which is why people like it. Problem is, it never gets out of the kiddie end of the pool with it. It’s the base level amount of a system, and it’s obvious how shallow it is after an hour (that’s why I said “kiddie end of the pool” because that’s the shallow end. Please fund more of this writing on Patreon).

Crafting is just some of a thing to get more space to carry stuff. That’s it. Then you can stop crafting. Levelling up gives you 10 more hit points, and 1 skill point to spend on a skill tree that is basically useless beyond 5 incredible skills that make the game a cake-walk (Double arrows/triple arrows/sneak attack/better stealth/more resources). There’s no weapon customisation beyond some modifications, but there’s no strategy here, just find the best ones (purple, because fucking obviously) and slot them in.

The story is the usual “chosen-one” power fantasy that gets bonus points for at least being about a woman. Robots threaten the world, oh no. Try to stop them ok? Second act (hugely telegraphed) plot revelation, third act triumph, post credits sequel bait. Knocked that shit out in a weekend, mate. It doesn't successfully say anything or mean anything to anyone, despite trying very hard to send a message about the dangers of hubris, or trees being super. If anything, the takeaway message is that humanity is a collection of bumbling savages and should have been consigned to extinction at the first opportunity.

To be fair, games are about systems. At least, all the games people play, are about systems. Maybe, if you want a good story, then do something like read a book, you fucker. A good story in a game is hard to come by, mostly because it’s very difficult to mesh an interactive medium with linear story telling (and even harder to do non-linear story telling).

Systems and mechanics are what keep people hooked, and differentiate the medium. But a game where the systems and mechanics can ultimately be “solved” are boring. This is the best weapon combo, this is the best armour, these are the best mods for the best weapons and best armour.

There’s some good time to be had with the gameplay, as you learn the combat. You can scan enemies and see their components, and you have you actually learn how to fight things. They’re not simply big bubbles of hit points, with a red spot on them that does double damage. There’s fuel tanks you can rupture, or you can shoot off their weapons, or tie them down, or lure them into traps, or apply statuses. And that’s fun! it really is. At least three of the aforementioned three and a half stars I would give this game come from fighting things.

The combat is good because you have to learn how to be good at it. You have to have a plan and an approach. You can’t waltz in with you spear and start whacking shit as you will lose, and personally I think that’s great. Well, fighting the machines anyway. Fighting humans is a clumsy mess, as they are actually blobs of HP with a head that takes lots of damage.

The rest of the game makes me super sad though, because it’s full of all these gamer-contrivances. It’s full of real menial shit that is only in there because most gamers (at least the most vocal ones) are time-rich kids who need something to do. So give them exp to grind, give them a map full of shit to tick off a list, none of which does anything.

Give them main story quests, side story quests, AND THEN errand type quests. Make them walk to a place, start a quest, walk to another place to talk to a person, click the now mandatory button that highlights the things you need to interact with before going to a third place to kill some dudes, before finally going back to the first person who tells you “thanks” and then to fuck off as dispassionately as the whole affair started.

Make every ledge the player character can climb obvious so when you need to scale something vertically, you’re just doing a dot-to-dot that is impossible to fail. And then make other waist-high walls insurmountable because whoever was meant to come around and paint this edge in worn white paint didn’t get here yet.

The world is large but ultimately uninteresting. There’s no sense of place or sufficient landmarks to encourage you to learn where you’re going. You rely entirely on fast travel and the numerous on-screen arrows to get around, never once did I feel lost or small, I felt the opposite. I felt like the centre of the universe, I felt like the whole place was built just for me. Which, again, comes down to the bizarre decision to make climbable objects so obvious, it breaks my immersion, because “a creator” has clearly done something.

It makes me sad, genuinely sad, because this is a “good video game.” People like it because of these things, not in spite of them. They like it because they can sit down for 3 or 4 hours and they will feel like they've achieved something... All I see, for the most part, is the total waste of time that video games are. They are the illusion of progression and achievement. They are the chips of the cultural world; objectively better than nothing at all, but ultimately of no value. No amount of “Triple-Cooked” BS is going to stop them from just being chips (triple cooked = triple-A, support me on Patreon).

If this is the height of games, if this is a masterpiece, then we truly are doomed. We don’t need to strive for better, for more meaning in our games, what we need is a dozen shallow systems that a player can indulge themselves in between school, work and masturbation breaks. That’s what gets the big bucks after all, a psychological trick-room where you’re lauded for “achievement” from the comfort of your pyjamas. You did it! Who’s good player?! It’s you! Yes it is!

And I know, I am being hugely elitist, this is a personal attack on you and the thing you like, and that makes me reprehensible. Maybe I’m just doing this to be contrarian or to be noticed. If this game had gotten bad reviews, I’d say I loved it.

A lot of people put a lot of hard work into this game and I respect that. It frequently looks stunning and... well, I don’t want to delve into consumer advice as a deflection here. It’s fine. The game is fine. It’s a fine game. Did I feel tested or challenged, did I feel I had to improve myself to overcome? Rarely. Do I feel like I learned something, anything, about the world, myself, my fellow man, or even anything about “video games?” No.

7/10. 3.5 Stars. 68%.

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