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thecapricunt1616 · 7 days

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Coriander (c.b. one-shot)

♡ Chapter Inspo: Love, health, immortality, and protection. Tie fresh coriander with a ribbon and hang in the home to bring peace & protection. Add to love charms and spells to bring romance or use in ritual work to ease the pain of a broken love affair. Promotes peace among those who are unable to get along. Use the seeds in love sachets and spells. ♡ Summary: You are in a FWB situation with Richie, Mikey dies - Carmy comes home to run The Beef, and suddenly...you find yourself in a FWB situation with Carmy as well, what happens when Carmy makes you two official in secret so he can have you all to himself? ♡ W/C: 5.3K+ ♡ Posted Date: 05/29/2024 ♡ A/N: Hellooooo! Happy day 4/7 of the Capri 200 Follower Celebration Extravaganza!!! You can find said extravaganza ♡Here♡ this celebration will be going until next Sunday (06/02/24) so get your requests in! Here's another celebration ask on the books! This ask is from a sweet anon, ask can be found right ♡Here♡ - Thank you so much for your request! As you can tell by the word count I got very inspired! I hope you enjoy :D This could easily have a part 2 so if you want one, just let me know in the comments This is kind of a Richie/Carmy thing i've never written Richie before and I had a whole lot of fun doing so! ♡ Warnings for BTC: Swearing, FWB Relationships, Smoking, Usual TB trigger warnings, Asshole!Carmy (kinda), Angst, No real comfort to be found in the end, Age gap relationships, Rough sex, smutsmutsmut, No uses of Y/N, Reader not described (pics are for vibes only)

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

You had been working at The Bear since it was The Beef. 3 months before Mikey died, you were hired as a food runner. You’d met Mike maybe twice? Both times, the guy was high out of his mind- so you couldn’t say much about his character.

Richie on the other hand, was flirty. He was handsome, he was funny, he had a huge cock. You were in your third year of college, Richie was smitten with your girlish charm, and you’d fucked those 3 months pretty consistently - until Carmy came back to Chicago.

You’d been warned his ‘cousin’ was a big shot NYC chef, ‘Michelin Starred’ Richie said one night while fucking your brains out after a stressful shift as he smoked a cigarette in his shitty, dimly lit apartment. Puffs of smoke left his lips as your ass bounced against his hips and he rambled on about what had pissed him off today,

“Ye’ sweetheart- fuck-“ he took a long inhale before continuing - “mm’y’fuckin tight baby- shit-“ he stuttered as your pussy clenched around his cock firmly as your second orgasm washed over you, thighs shivering. “Thaaas it- huh? Gooood girl. Knew y’could do it babygirl” he kissed the dimple on your spine as you shivered, tendrils of smoke trailing up your back and over your hips.

He then sat up, casually taking another drag, tightening his non-dominant hand around your hip so there would be little fingertip bruises once more over the yellowing hearing ones, and continued, his bruising pace getting rougher and quicker as he continued chasing his own orgasm.

The meat of your ass and the skin of his hips made smacking sounds as they came together. Pathetic little whines drag from your lips with each rough kiss the tip of his cock gave your cervix as he just continued talking like he wasn’t using you like a fuck doll.

“he uh, has a Michelin star- whatever that means? He’s a little prick. Guess that’s ahh-fuck- that’s why Mike left it t’him- he knows how t’make fancy shit- little fuckin’ Eleven Madison Park dickhead” he grunted as he filled you up, spanking you roughly for good measure.

“Good girl. Always take it like a little whore mm?” He puts out his cigarette in the ashtray. He pats your hip gently as he pulls out, collapsing next to you with an old man grunt that you always teased him for. “Ey’ sweet girl, Y’wanna rub my back since I fucked y’so good mm? So I won’t be sore at work tomorrow?” He pulled you close, kissing your neck, his stubble making you shiver as cum leaked down your beard-burned thighs.

That was how you spent one to three nights a week since you’d started working at The Beef.

Then, Carmy came. For the first 6 or so months, it was business as usual for you and Richie. Quiet spanks on the ass as you walked by him during rush as you brought food out to a customer, sometimes letting him fuck your face in the back alley as he went on about what an asshole Carmen was being that day.

You just took it, the fighting, the bickering, the sexual tension. You were the go-between for the both of them, when they weren’t talking Richie would bug you to go tell Carmy what he needed to say. “Immature asshole” you’d call him at the end of the day as he knelt between your thighs in that same shitty apartment, sucking on your clit while his beard scratched up your thighs. He’d just chuckle into you, squeezing your thighs amusedly with his large hands.

Then one day, you were in the dry storage, grabbing something for Marcus that was on the bottom shelf and heavy. You were bent over, trying to tug it out and the door shut behind you. “Hey- sorry just gonna reach over you-“ Carmy. When you felt him press against your ass like that, his tattooed hand resting on your hip. You felt heat rushing straight for your core, your stomach flipping and fluttering.

Then, you started making moves. A brush of the hand here, a smile there, a giggle at one of his dorky jokes no one else bothered to pay attention to, of course, he noticed. The young piece of ass that used to spend all day giggling and shooting the shit with his older cousin was into him now. The first night it happened, you made sure to pick up a double on a day you usually didn’t go home with Richie, and while everyone except Carmy did their best to rush out the door as soon as they possibly could, you stuck behind.

You went to the bathroom, fixed up your hair, and your makeup not enough to be noticeable to a guy that you’d changed, but enough to look fresh. You put on some more lipgloss, freshening up your body spray and hiking your tote bag onto your shoulder before heading out of the ladies' room into the back-of-house. You heard the swish swish of a scrub brush, and the plopping of water - and knew Carmy was still in there scrubbing something. When you turned the corner to see him on his hands and knees, muscular arms flexing as he really scrubbed that floor. You could tell there was something….about Carmen Berzatto.

It wasn’t just the fact his brother died, it wasn’t this strange stoic seriousness he had at not even 35, it was something else. Dedication, maybe? But you weren't sure to what because not a day went by without referring to the restaurant as ‘a shithole with decent sandwiches’ - you knew he was just keeping it running because it’s what Cicero wanted and no one denied that man. But you wanted to see if that dedication or learning ability translated into the bedroom. “Damn- You could eat off that grout” you teased. His head popped up, blue eyes twinkling under the iridescent lights.

This damn family and their pretty eyes

“The hell you still doin’ here? Y’shift ended what-” he looked at the clock, “An hour and six minutes ago” he continued scrubbing at the tile with the tiny little brush.

“Oh you memorized my shift schedule?” you teased, a small smile on your lips. You were towering over him, being sure to block his light so he would give you his attention once more.

“I make the schedule, yeah I know when my employees work” he looked up at you again “n’y’re in my light” he pushed his greasy curls out of his way with his dry hand.

“Mmm- last I checked Chef Syd did the scheduling- unless…that changed?” you asked and he looked back at the floor, scrubbing over the same spot he had been since you came over here.

He made a little ‘mm’ noise and was quiet for a few moments as he continued to scrub. “So why are you still here if y’not gettin’ paid?” he asked again. You crouched next to him, hugging your knees and he stopped, looking over at you. He could smell your perfume perfectly, your lipgloss glitter was shimmering in the light. He could very well near smell the mint coming off of your breath from the gum you had chewed an hour earlier. He swallowed thickly, blinking a few times how he did when he was confused he noticed and his eyes fan to your lips before back up to your eyes. “Uh-”

You cut him off “Cause I haven’t met you, Carmy. We haven’t talked, Why’s that?” you question with a small, innocent smile. It was true, he all but ignored you while he’d been here. The only time he spoke to you was when he absolutely had to tell you something or when he was assigning you your morning tasks when you first got in.

“W-What d’you wanna know?” he asked, tongue darting out to quickly wet his lips. He was nervous.

“Why do you ignore me for starts” you jet your bottom lip slightly out into a little barely there pout for added effect, “Tina asked me a few days ago what I did, so what did I do Carmy?” you ask gently. You knew it was because you caught him staring at you so often he thought you thought he was a creep, but you thought it was adorable how flustered he got when he’d been caught and quickly tried to make it look like he’d been focused on something else.

“Nothin- nothin’ y-you didn’t do anything m’sorry I made you feel- what’re you-” he trailed off as you gently fixed his Saint Anthony chain so it was facing front, carefully slipping your finger under the loop and pinching it between your forefinger and thumb, adjusting the clasp to be at the back of his neck.

“Sorry, small things like that bug me, I think little things bug you too, Carm” you said softly. His cheeks were getting pink, his pupils were widening. Your plan was working. “Is this ok?” you gently fixed the sleeve of his t-shirt over his bicep, the fabric deliciously stretching over his buff arm

“Mhmm” he muttered, breath catching as your hand trailed up his shoulder and resting there. “Did you um- did you need something…” he asked, voice that delicious kind of soft you adored.

“I thought you'd never ask. I’m gonna go to the back office and wait. If you think you know what I need, then come on back. If you don’t want to, we can just pretend this never happened mm?” you got up, making sure to sway your hips a tad more as you went to the back office. You pushed the door shut behind you and dropped your tote under the desk, sitting down on it and leaning back against the wall. He came in 2 minutes later, cheeks red, biting his lip as he opened the door and saw you sitting on the desk.

He blinked rapidly, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing “Jesus Christ” he muttered to himself, shutting the door behind him. “Y-y’re sure. Like- wait you mean- you mean you want me t-”

“Do whatever you want with me, chef,” you told him in a sultry tone, watching him closely as he walked over. You’d assumed he’d be just like Richie, rough, unforgiving, and sometimes even a little mean, but the way he cupped your cheek was…gentle.

“Are you sure you want this? M’y’r boss..I don’ want you t’feel like i’m…making you, ‘er somethin’” he ran his thumb over your cheekbone. He was so close that you could smell the cigarette smoke on his breath as well as the musky scent of the long workday mixed with his cologne. You were nearly put in a trance by it. In response, you gently rest your palm on the back of his neck, pulling him closer and giving him a gentle kiss.

He leaned forward, resting his hand on the side of your thigh and kissing you back, his lips hesitant on yours at first but when he felt your tongue swipe his bottom lip, his hand moved to your shoulder and gently squeezed as he opened his mouth, tongue darting out to find yours. He moaned softly at your taste, his breath coming out in small hot puffs that fanned your upper lip as you explored his mouth with your tongue. His hand that was on the desk gently moved to your hip, giving a tentative squeeze. You grabbed it, bringing it to your breast and with your hand over his, guiding him to squeeze and massage it.

He let out a little hum of realization and did as you asked, only able to do so much with a t-shirt bra and work shirt, he with trembling hands tugged at the bottom of your navy blue The Beef t-shirt, asking for permission to take it off. You pulled away, swiftly taking off the shirt and reconnecting your lips with his. Your hands made your way behind your back, unhooking your bra and pulling it off, bringing both of his hands to your breasts. You whine softly as he pinches and rolls your nipples between his fingers, the action making them even harder and perkier. He kissed down your jaw, nipping gently and sucking on the sensitive skin.

Richie can’t know this happened

“N-no marks babe- kay?” you said a bit breathlessly, hand trailing up to gently tug at his hair. He hummed in response, kissing down and mouthing over the hickeys Richie had left earlier in the week. You bit your lip as he continued to roll and tug your nipples kissing down your neck and when he finally got to your breasts you heard him mutter

“So fuckin perfect” before he took one of your perky abused nipples into his mouth, lightly sucking as you combed through his curls, taking out all the knots with your nimble fingers. With his other hand, he continued to massage your other breast, causing a moan to fall from your lips.

“You wanna fuck me? Mm? Right here over the desk? You can go as hard as you want yea?” you told him, it was nice that he was spending so much time dedicated to making you feel good, but were confused why he hadn’t just…bent you over and gotten it over with by now like Richie usually did when you fucked at work.

He pulled off with a pop, looking up at you with those wide eyes that had been darkened with lust. “Uh- Can I taste you..instead?” he asked shyly, resting his chin on your sternum gently, his hot breath puffing from his nose and tickling your chest. You raised your brows, looking at the clock - wasn’t he exhausted?! If he ate you out, that would be what - another 15 minutes on top of him getting off, would probably be another 20, so you both wouldn’t be getting out of there until 1:30 or so.

Well, if it's what he wants.

“Sure honey” You got up, slipping out of the sweats you took the train home in usually, setting them on the desk to sit on and pushing your panties down as well after kicking off your Ugg slipper shoe-type things and sitting back on the desk, spreading your thighs for him and resting one of your heels on the edge. His mouth parted slightly, nearly dropping to his knees, his curls falling in front of his eyes but he didn’t seem to care as he kissed your inner thighs, almost enjoying his time getting you worked up. He gently sucked on your nether lip, groaning lightly at your flavor. Your mouth drops as you watch him, fully blissed out as he laps at your wet folds.

“Holy shit Carmy” you breathe, gently pushing his bangs back so you could see his pretty blue eyes once again. He looks up at you, sandy brown long lashes nearly touching his bushy brows as he connects his mouth with your clit, flicking his tongue over it and running his jaw back and forth messily, a mix of drool and your arousal running over his chin. “Wow feels so good - doin’ so good Carmy” you breathe, head falling back in pleasure and breathing picking up. He was really good at this. When Richie was in the mood (AKA his back wasn't hurting, or his knees, or his shoulder) he would give you the pleasure of eating you out, and he did it well, he always made sure you came when he did it, and you never had to fake it with him.

You weren’t going to have to fake it with Carmy, either, because holy shit - he was amazing at this. You felt that familiar tightening within’ your stomach within minutes. He took one of your thighs, throwing it over his shoulder to give himself a better angle, and ran his tongue down, slipping it inside of your pussy and moaning as you gush over his tongue when his nose runs back and forth over your clit, stimulating it most deliciously. Your thigh twitched, toes curling, and a sharp moan comes from your throat, biting down roughly on your lip. “God- god Carmy, I’m cumming” you warn, Gripping his curls rougher which seemed to edge him on, rubbing you rougher with his nose and curling his tongue up against your gummy walls, wet lewd noises coming from between your thighs.

Within moments there was a fire of pleasure shooting beneath your skin as you cried out in ecstasy. Your eyes rolled beneath your lids, letting go of his hair and gripping the desk instead with a crushing grip as he worked you through the intense waves of overstimulating delight that ripped through you relentlessly. He finished with a chaste kiss on your thigh before grabbing your bra and helping you put it on as well as your panties, even finding the shirt you’d thrown and shaking off the dust from the floor before handing it over. “That was uh…really good, thank you” he wiped his chin and lips with the back of his hand, rubbing it on the back of his jeans. You shamelessly stared at his crotch and noticed the hard bulge in his jeans before looking back up at him.

“You don’t want to get rid of that? I can suck you off if you want I have a hair tie” you said, holding up your wrist to show him. He shook his head, running a hand through his hair.

“No- no you don’t owe me anything, I got what I needed don’worry. See y’tomorrow- make sure you leave through the back I already locked up the front” he said, leaving the office and closing the door behind him to give you some privacy. You sat in shock for a moment, blinking a few times. All he wanted from you was to eat you out? You’d never met another guy who simply ate you out and that was it - they’d always…expected something from you after, and of course, you gave it because you felt like they’d paid you a favor just by eating you out first even if you didn’t finish. You slip your work shirt back on, get up, and put on your sweats with shaky legs before slipping your shoes back on.

It continued like this, the days you weren't fucking Richie, you were in the back office getting eaten until you nearly passed out. Until The Beef started getting renovated, then the days you weren’t getting your brains fucked out in Richie's bed, your thighs spread wide at odd hours of the morning on Carmens’ couch, some random cooking show playing in the background as he lapped at your pussy like a man starved on his knees in front of you after kissing down your body like you were a goddess to be worshipped. If you were quite honest, you liked this routine. It felt perfect for you, you knew where your feelings lay for both of the men, and it was a stable comfortable routine on both sides.

For Richie, it was fun and flirtatious. Sneaky spanks when you came to visit and help him renovate the restaurant with Neil, rough makeout sessions in the back alley when he went out for a smoke, rough near bruising quickies in the soon-to-be walk-in freezer that hadn’t been set up yet, so it was a nice little private area you two could go. He’d even started stealing a kiss or two when you weren’t being sexual. He was protective of you, Carmy started noticing this. That was why a few weeks before the big opening, he had started being a bit more handsy with you.

The two of you started spending a lot more time together, and you realized he was even opening up to you a bit more. He began asking to see you more often, taking you out with him when he had to run errands for the opening. When he took you with him to the restaurant supply store, he had his hand rested on your lower back, gently rubbing circles as he explained to you the difference between the bunch of different kinds of cutlery. You had been baffled that there were 11 different kinds of butter knives there and he explained to you the difference between them, as well as showed you which sets went together.

It was strange you were clenching your thighs together while a man chatted you up over silverware, but the way he guided your hand to hold them so you were doing it ‘properly’ when you picked one up to get a closer look, had your heart jumping to your throat. That specific encounter was the first time you’d been able to really fuck him, and also draw some dominance out of him as well. It wasn't even his day with you, he knew it - he very well knew this, but little did you know that was the reason why he did it. You rode him hard and fast in the back of his van in the parking lot, he’d made sure to move to a spot in the way back where no one else had been parked so the two of you didn’t get caught and thrown on a registry, of course.

So, that night when you had met up with Richie after he had made you dinner and bent you over the couch for your usual Wednesday night activities - by the first yank of your hips you squeaked, “Gentle - please, daddy, not too rough..” you were glad he was taking you from behind, because you couldn’t bare the confused sweet sorry look on his face. You never asked him to be gentle with you, of course he obliged- because it was all an act. Richie was a big softie, a teddy bear. He just liked to fool around and put on the big mean daddy act in the bedroom because it was fun for the both of you.t in the bedroom because it was fun for the both of you. But he would never really want to hurt you.

“Wha’s wrong baby, mm? Why you hurtin’?” He held you up by your ribs, sweetly kissing your hairline as he thrusted slower and softer in and out of you, gently resting his lips against your forehead “was I too hard Monday? M’sorry my sweet girl” he rubbed over your breast gently as he continued his gentler strokes. His sweet girl. That caused your heart to sting a bit. You didn’t know that he liked you too, the same way you liked him. Unless it was just an act? You hope it was an act.

“Yeah” you said, knees going weaker when he reached around your front and toyed with your clit, your hips bucking at the soreness Carmen had left you with earlier.

“Yeah? Y’never been like this before sweetheart” he kissed over your neck, beard scratching at your skin.

“Mm- s’okay- feels good- like it when it hurts like this” you rest your head back on his shoulder, closing your eyes and feeling a pit of guilt setting in your stomach. Would it hurt him if he found out you had started fooling around with Carmy? You hoped not, but couldn’t help but wonder. They were family. Most of all you would hope it wouldn’t make him insecure due to the much closer proximity Carmy and your ages were. You were so lost in your own head that you didn’t even realize he was finishing inside of you like normal moaning into your hair.

“So good- such a good girl” he kissed your head. “go get cleaned up kid, gotta get outta here early t’day cus’ I needa go to Eva’s school play thing” he pats your ass gently and pulled out, leaving you draped over the arm of the couch naked from the waist down and cum leaking down your thighs. You shut your eyes for a moment, rubbing over your face before standing up and doing as he said.

A little over a week later, Carmy asked you to go straight with him. Well. Not really, he asked you if you were fucking other people to which you gave a simple yes and he just said ‘oh…wish I could be the only one’ you teased him and asked if that meant you wanted to be together, just the two of you and he said yes. So, you stopped fucking Richie. You stopped letting him kiss you in dry storage - you stopped having your ass be available for slapping as he walked by.

And man, was it hard. He looked like a sad puppy, a small pout coming to his lips when you turned your cheek causing him to kiss that instead of your lips. “ ‘ey-“ he turned your face towards him “where’s my kiss?” You just looked down at the floor, before turning and grabbing the bag of onions you’d been sent in there to get and saying

“I don’t think we should keep doing this. We should…just work together.” As much as you hated to say it, you did. Then you left the dry storage, and Richie felt his heart crack slightly. Things with him felt way more real then with Carmy, but Carmy was the one who asked you to be his, so you just…went with who asked. You had thought that was the best choice. Even though you stomped on his heart that day, he still cracked jokes with you, and was the same sweet dork you worked with before you started hooking up, the sweet dork that made you want to hook up with him in the first place.

2 days before the friends and family opening, Carmy invited you over to his so he could cook for you. You’d been able to have his cooking once before, when he’d had you come over right in front of Richie at The Beef, and held a spoon to your lips, a hand under your chin for you to try something he’d come up with. Tonight he was making his familys pasta, and when you’d got there you nearly jumped his bones when he was wearing a work shirt from The Beef. You’d never seen him in it before, he’d never worn it to work even though everyone else had to be wearing theirs.

You had a joke with yourself that he knew how yummy and slutty he looked in those stupid plain white t’s so thats why he kept wearing them.

“Hey sexy” You’d said when he opened the door, standing on your toes to kiss him deeply. He hummed, pulling you inside quickly and shutting the door behind you both so no neighbors would see. He grabbed your ass with his palms, squeezing it and spanking you lightly.

“Hey pretty girl” he said, kissing your top lip messily “y’hungry, right? Dinners almost done” he carefully brushed your hair from your face, looking down into your eyes with one of his sweet smiles.

“Mm always hungry for the best chef in the worlds food” you mused, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and playing with his curls “Why’d you never wear this at work, mm? Y’look sexy babe” you kissed his neck. He hummed, hands trailing up your back and palming over your ribs.

“Cause they’re itchy, and it’s laundry day” he said as you rubbed over his chest, grabbing at his pecks and squeezing at the flesh. He chuckled, brushing your hands “jesus someones handsy eh? He cupped your cheeks, angling your eyes towards him “food’ll burn, go wash up yeah? I’ll get y’plate ready” he pecked your lips and ran his hands down your front, grabbing your hand nd pressing it to his lips before heading back to the kitchen.

You followed as he said, going to the restroom and washing your hands as well as your makeup off with the makeup wipes that lived in his bathroom for you now, before going to his bedroom. You stepped out of your stupid waitress uniform, slipping on his white shirt that kissed just below your bum. You padded out to the kitchen, seeing him wiping the edge of your plates off with a paper towel, a kitchen rag over his shoulder. God, he looked so amazing in his element. “Hey” you said gently, going to hug him from behind

“Hey sweet girl, just about done” he sprinkled some fresh parsley over the dish masterfully, before gently rubbing over the back of your hand and bringing it to his lips, kissing it. “How was the train?” he asked and you pulled away, walking over to his couch and sitting since he’d never bothered to get a kitchen table.

“Okay, weirdo was playing a ukelele again” you plopped down, crossing your legs and looking over at the random dutch cooking program he had been watching from his station in the kitchen, “You speak dutch?” you asked, he chuckled and you weren’t sure at which statement.

“No, I don’t, I just watch, and I know what they’re doin’ by the look usually.” he came over, setting a beautiful plate of pasta in your lap and sitting down with the small pot he used for sauce, that he’d mixed the noodles in half hazardly and twirled some of the noodles on the fork, taking a bite.

Classic Carmy, serving you a Michelin Starred dish, and eating the leftover scraps.

That was the night you really fell for him. Especially after he did the same thing that he did the first time the two of you hooked up, put you first. Even if he didn’t want you to touch him, even if he was too shy to cuddle you before you fell asleep. You really felt your heart crack open for him.

The night of friends and family, though, you may as well have been a stranger. No matter what you did that night to get his attention, he fully ignored you and snapped at you, and everyone, to ‘pick up your fucking pace’. You had never had him snap at you like this. All you wanted to do was go joke around with Richie, maybe pull him into the dry storage for a quick makeout - but you couldn’t, not anymore. You missed him. You missed your old man, as much as he despised you calling him that, you adored the way he frowned and spanked you in response to the name, telling you ‘it’s already unfair when we go out they think y’my daughter’

When you had find out that Carmy had been locked in the freezer - your first instict was to rush to the back of house, comfort him- tell him it would all be fine, but you knew you couldn’t do that, and it would piss him off if you did so. You were his well kept secret, and he wanted you to stay that way. You had found out from Syd, who was really the only one to know about your short-lived relationship - since Carmy seemed to be more open with her then he did with you - his supposed girlfriend.

“He’s ok, he’s fine- look, just keep pace, ok, me and Richie will handle this - bring the plates from tinas station to table 11, ok?” she told you calmly, giving you a quick reassuring hug before whisking you off to do your job. You did as she said, putting on a smile and bringing the food out to the table, setting it down the way you’d been trained and telling them what was what before telling them to enjoy and heading back to the kitchen to pick up another round of food to bring out to an awaiting hungry group of patrons.

Three hours later, when the night was finally coming to a close- you decided it was a good time to go check on Carmy. All the guests had left, and it was just the staff at this point. You knew that the fire department was on the way since Richie had let everyone know they’d been called, and Syd was back there trying to calm him down. What you didn’t know, was Syd had told Carmy to hold on for a moment because she was gonna go tell her father goodbye and thank him for coming, so he had been left all alone in the back of house, in the freezer.

You walked in, hearing him rambling as you walk up, listening closely to what he was saying.

“Like- Like right? Right?” he chuckled a bit “W-what the fuck was I thinkin’? Huh? The fuck was I thinkin’, Syd? Like - Like I was gonna be in- “ he laughed a bit “In- i-in a relationship- er- er some shit? I-I’m a fuckin- a fuckin psycho- thats thats why, thats why I’m good at what I do, thats how I operate, Syd, you wanna be the best? I am the fucking best, because I didn’t have- any- any of this - this fuckin…bullshit! Right? I-I- I could focus, and I could concentrate, and I- I had a fuckin’ routine, an- and I had fuckin cell reception! An-” he paused. You felt your heart crack, tears filling your eyes,

You were bullshit to him.

He continued, “I dont need to provide amusement or enjoyment. I dont need to- to receive, any amusement- or - or enjoyment. Y’know? And I’m…I’m completely fine, with that. Because absolutely no amount of good, is worth how fuckin’ shitty this feels. S’just…a complete waste of my fucking time.”

You let out the sob you were holding back, gasping a breath, shaking your head and with a trembling voice, you say, “I’m really sorry you feel this way, Carmy…” before rushing out of the kitchen, hot tears running down your cheeks. You grab your bag from behind the counter, slamming into richie on the way out of the restaurant and he stopped you, grabbing your arm.

“Hey- hey kid” he said, and the soothing sound of his voice made you break down fully, starting to sob so hard you couldnt see straight, collapsing into his chest.

“I’m sorry- I’m so sorry for being so shitty- I- I dont deserve you” you cried, hugging him tightly, “I have-” you took a gasping breath and look up at him “I- i’m done- tell Carmy that I’m done here….” you let go of him and rush out, quickly walking towards the train station the wind whipping your wet cheeks. You pulled out your phone, calling Carmy to leave him a voicemail.

“Hey, uh…I don’t know why you fuckin’ asked me out- but uh- fuck you, carmy. Youre right- you deserve nothing- youre a coward, and an asshole. I hate you for making me love you” you hung up, shoving your phone in your pocket, not even caring the admission that slipped past your lips as you stomped up the stairs to the L platform.

Back at the restaurant, Richie storms into the kitchen, slamming his palm on the freezer door. “Yo- the fuck did you just do?” he asked, voice laced with anger.

“I-I don’know. I-I don’ know what the fuck she heard. Dunno” Carmy said, voice indifferent to the entire thing, which just made anger bubble in his chest at his lack of caring. Richie slams his hand into the door harder, making Carmy jump a bit.

“No- asshole, I said - the fuck did you just say, to that fuckin’ girl?” Richie repeated, getting louder now.

“Richie” Carmy said, sighing to himself.

“Richie? Richie What- Tell me! Tell me, What the fuck. What the fuck did you just say to that fuckin girl, Carmen”

“Will you just shut the FUCK UP AND GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE PLEASE!” Carmy shouts, not having any part of being scolded when his fingertips felt like ice.

“Oh- oh yeah, I’ll get y’the fuck outta there, Donna” Richie mocked, so angry he didnt care how deeply he cut in the moment.

“The fuck you just say t’me?” Carmy challanged

“I-” Richie sighed, knowing he just took things too far and dropped his head back in annoyance.

“N-no- Richie- What the fuck did you just say?” Carmy asks, louder this time, Pounding on the door when he didnt get a response.

“Yo- cousin, cousin look - I don’t know why you gotta fuck up everything good in your life. That girl is nice, shes a good fuckin friend t’you” Richie explained, completely oblivious to everything that had really been going on.

“Are you -” Carmen laughs “Are you fucking kidding me right now?!” he spits, the comparison to his mother causing fire to race through his veins.

“No- No i’m not, cousin, someones gotta tell you this shit, ‘eh? First fuckin friend after comin’ home you go ahead and make her cry?!” Richie scolded.

“FUCK YOU! Fuck you Richie!” Carmy yells, running his hands through his hair,

“Ohhh yea, here we go, fuck me, yeeeaaa Carm” he mocked him.

“Yeah! Yeah fuck you fuckin loser. You wouldn’t have shit without me. So fuck you!” carmy shouted at him, his breath coming out in large frosty puffs in front of him.

“Oh-” Richie chuckled, a twinge in his chest that Carmy was willing to cut so deep so quickly “Yeah- yeah tough guy” he mocked, voice getting meeker

“Yeah! Yeah! You- Or y’fuckin kid- fuckin loser - only reason you have anything is me!” Carmy roars, slamming on the door “so ye’ cousin, fuck you!”

“My KID? Y’gonna talk about my KID? Well at least I have a fuckin kid! What d’you have other then a restaurant, jackass!” he yelled back.

“YEAH? I HAVE THE GIRL YOU BEEN FUCKIN’ FOR THE PAST YEAR, MORON. Why you think she dropped you so fast? Huh? You fucking idiot! She chose me- so ye’. I am the reason you have what you have AND I’LL TAKE WHATEVER I FUCKING WANT. FUCK YOU” He yelled through the door, kicking it with his chefs clog.

Richies mouth dropped, stepping back and feeling as if he’d just been stabbed in the heart. “What?” he said, believing his ears were playing tricks on him, how could Carmy do such a thing to him?

“Yeah- yeah. She chose me, and guess what, I fucked her because i wanted to show you I could. Y’fuckin prick” he sat down on one of the boxes of frozen steaks, rubbing over his face roughly. Richie raced out of the kitchen, telling Syd he was ‘done’ and quickly taking out his phone to call you.

Back in the freezer, Carmens phone buzzed. He looked at it, seeing a voicemail from you that finally pushed through. When he heard your sad, broken voice, admit that he’d caused you to hate him by his behaviour made him chuck his phone against the freezer wall so hard that the screen shattered.

Never so badly had he ever fucked up, and by doing so he lost the best thing to ever happen to him.

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justarandombrit · 24 days

Text

Okay well as you may know from looking at my blog for five seconds, I saw the matinee for Starkid Innit. During the interval and after the show I wrote down some notes. I tried to get them in chronological order but my memory is dogshit and I definitely missed some stuff, I hope you appreciate it though.

Outside:

. EVERYONE SUNG GRANGER DANGER

. IT WAS SO GOOD (except for the high note lmao)

. EVERYONE SUNG DAYS OF SUMMER

. EVERYONE A SMALL GROUP OF PEOPLE SUNG GOIN' BACK TO HOGWARTS

Act 1:

. The Nightmare Time sting punched me in the face

. The shout-out to the confused parents

. BRIAN + MEREDITH IN TGWDLM IS EVERYTHING TO ME

. High School Is Killing Me, Literal Monster and Nerdy Prudes Must Die all got mashed together!

. Corey!Richie is my Roman Empire

. Jaime in NPMD….

. Jaime had a different line to PJ’s original in Literal Monster. I couldn't hear half of it but it was different

. JEFF!MAX

. THE AUDIENCE SINGING RICHIE'S PART!!!!!! I'M NOT A LOSERRRRRRR

. TOGETHER!!!!!

. OUR DOORS ARE OPEN

. Jaime singing Sami/Harry ABOUT HER DOG (Nori)

. The audience whipping out the phone cameras

. CLARK SINGING I WAS GAVE ME SUCH INTENSE CHILLS

. Joey finally giving the white, male side characters attention

. Joey changing “I know I'm not a star” to “I know I'm not Clark”

. He pointed the mic at the audience for the “DEFINITELY NOT!”

. Joey mistimed his jump 😔😔

. Genuinely his best performance of Sidekick yet

. Joey making fun of Brian for not getting a big solo

. Brian kept pretending to beat him up, it was brilliant

. Not Over Yet is definitely Brian's song, shut up

. Brian accidentally singing the same verse twice (How does he always mess this song up?!?!?)

. My mum took a photo during the “EVIL PLAAAAANSSSS” bit and it was right when Brian was choking Joey

. “So look alive and don't forget”

“FORGET WHAT?”

. FEAST OR FAMINE

. Rogues Are We still goes so hard

. Rogues Medley without Kick It Up A Notch is weird, but Kick It Up A Notch without Dylan would definitely be weirder

Intermission:

. Ice cream :D

Act 2:

. Starting with We Got Work To Do is so iconic

. THERE'S BEEN A CHANGE IN THE CLIMATE, SOMETHING'S IN THE AIR, WE FEEL THE HEAT, NO NEED TO DEFINE IT, WE DON'T REALLY CARE

. MEREDITH REQUESTED BACK ON TOP!!!!!!!! AND IT WAS SO GOOOOD!!!!!!!

. Joey shouted “Draco, get on the floor!” at Lauren

. ALL THE UNDERRATED SONGS

. I love how it was hyped up like it was going to be Boy Toy, and then just straight up wasn't lmaooo

. Brian finally got the slow, sexy Hideous Creatures (Take that, Nick Lang!)

. Okay I'm trying to remember the order of the underrated songs they did

. Hideous Creatures (Lauren)

. Pays To Be an Animal (Corey) (He didn't sit in the spotlight and someone yelled “TO THE LEFT, COREY”)

. Get In My Mouth (Jeff) (He fully sprawled out on the stage it was hilarious)

. Land of the Dicks (Jaime)

. Hermione Can't Draw (Meredith) (She sung it so well I briefly didn't recognise the song)

. THEY MANAGED TO WORK IN LUPIN / BRIAN CAN'T SING YESSSS

. I genuinely cannot remember what Brian sung

. Gotta Find His Dick (Joey, and eventually everyone)

. The entire “Oh you wanna know where I got my shirt?” bit

. Brian, Jaime and Joey got it from Primark, Meredith got it from “Primed-mrak”, Lauren’s was a family heirloom, Corey got it from Gucci and Jeff got it from America, from Pri-mart (He made the guy on the drums do a baddum tsh)

. COREY SINGING SHOW STOPPIN' NUMBER. OH MY GOD. (The entire crowd joined in, also, Jeff and Jaime as Steve and Stu)

. Everyone cheering so loud when Joey and Lauren came on stage, and them claiming we had no idea what they were going to sing, and it was actually a completely new song (it was Granger Danger obviously)

. And them continuing to claim it was new throughout the song

. As I expected, I almost cried during Not Alone. Also apparently Darren thought it was going to be a big hit??? And just begrudgingly let them use it for A Very Potter Musical

. Super Friends!

. So sad Jeff’s mic was so quiet for “I WANNA BE A MODERN DANCER”

. THEY SUNG WANNABE BY THE SPICE GIRLS

. The fakeout of everyone leaving stage, then the band coming back on and playing the start of Goin' Back To Hogwarts

. “Darren's not here”

“I'LL DO IT”

. THE AUDIENCE DID THE FIRST PART OF GOIN' BACK TO HOGWARTS ALL BY OURSELVES

. JEFF DID DYLAN'S PART (but he didn't do “All of you to [city name] :( )

. Jeff pointed at various parts of the audience for “Welcome hotties, nerds and tools!” and then whispered “I'm so sorry” immediately after

. Singing (/ shouting) Goin' Back To Hogwarts along with hundreds of other Starkid fans was so exhilarating, I loved it and I almost cried (also I'm gonna be so hoarse tomorrow)

#starkid #starkid innit #it's starkid innit?#team starkid #starkid productions #joey richter #lauren lopez #jaime lyn beatty #brian holden #clark baxtresser #corey dorris #meredith stepien #jeff blim

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rzyraffek · 2 years

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HI! Can you write headcanons with yandere Harry Warden with a significant other (the reader) who is also a yandere?? Like they're both so obsessed with each other and yeah!! You can use any pronouns, I prefer they/them and she/her mostly tho! also I hope you're having a good night/day

Omg yasss, goodday to you to anon, will use they/them pronouns! Request open! Tw:stalking but mostly chill

Yandere Harry with Yandere s/o

I think harry is more into "youre mine, you gonna sit here looking pretty doing youre stuff while imma commit mass murder on poeple that looked at you today cya<3" while s/o is more like "love me, notice me ect ect"

Imagine this funny scenario: s/o stalking harry while harry stalks her. They both will be so confused, like "why is he just standing there?? Im sure Hes waiting for some hoe" while he is like "??? Why are they just sitting there?? Im sure their waiting for some dude? Pf next one to kill"

They will become couple when Harry gives her Valentine, he meant to send it as a threat so they wont be with any other person but she was kinda into it? Someyhing like: omg😳so he does love me🥰 i need to tell him!

He will be very suprised to just see them wandering in mines, at first hes like 😈its morbin time, imma kindap her🥰 but when they hug him and say stuff like "omg I love you too dummy omg lets move out together!!" He will not only freeze but He will also fall in love even more!

Hes very happy! He was ready to kindnap s/o and force them to love him, but they love him back!!! Yay

He likes when they get jelous especially if they are yandere aswell! You guys dont need anyone else to be happy and you both arent getting into many arguments :D

They give off very funny vibe "lets go out together! So eveyone will know that we are in love and to make everyone else jelous!" While his like "I commited 6 fellonies today also no, because im scared"

"Call me msWarden cuz youre the only man i'll ever need😎" *harry explodes*

Harry needs love, and he is very needy, every attencion they give him is soo gooood and he remembers every time they told him something good

They are power couple, u mess with one of them? Get ready for stalking, doxing, maybe blackmailing, death of close person and ur death later

Harry is a boomer he doenst understand memes

#harry warden x reader #harry warden #slasher x reader #slasher headcanons #yandere slashers #yandere slasher x reader #yandere

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mexswiftcan · 2 months

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🐾TTPD THE ANTHOLOGY🐾

First of all, I cannot believe all of us clowns were right and she did release a double album at 2:00 am

She's insane, I love her

Anyway, here are my first impressions and lyrics I loved from THE ANTHOLOGY

⚠️MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD⚠️

🐾The Black Dog

piano is slaying as always

the location giving him away is everything

it hits her = hits different

she's too young

old habits die screaming

omggggg the sounds!

best laid plans = "paper cut stings from our paper thin plans"

i don't understand how you don't miss me

was it hazy? = lavender haze

great, i'm crying again

i wanna sell my house = "that's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend, i'd never walk Cornelia Street again"

even if i die screaming, so she's an old habit, his old habit

and i hope you hear it

the enddd so gooood

🐾imgonnagetyouback

this scratches my brain

short skirt = "but she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts" / "and I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt"

she doesn't know if she wants to be his wife? i think i understood that wrong idk

act like i don't care what you did

i can take the upper hand and touch your body

you were never not mine, you're mine = "you weren't mine to lose" somehow

omg such a great song

i'm poison either way = "i once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy"

🐾The Albatross

sounds like evermore

they tried to warn you about me = "i know what they all say, but i ain't tryna play"

SHE is the albatross

she is the death you chose

i love the guitar and her voice and everything

spread my wings like a parachute

i'm the life you chose

🐾Chloe or Sam or Sophie or Marcus

hologram, i think she's hallucinating

are all of those names his lovers?

he looks like he could've bullied you in school?????

joe is bi confirmed? jk

omg, it's building up

she changed for him = "i'll show you every version of yourself tonight"

i loved you, not love

scarlet, maroon???????????

will i always wonder?

this song is so incredibly sad

🐾How Did It End?

piano slaying as usual

vocaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaals i'm dead

WE HEREBY CONDUCT THIS POST MORTEM

we must know how did it end

the piano is too beautiful

most lyrics she gave are here, this must be like an equivalent of a track 5

did they run into the mistress?

sounds so much like folklore

my beloved ghost and me, sitting in a tree d-y-i-n-g

the thing is, she knows how it ended but doesn't at the same time

🐾So High School

excellent beat and guitar

i wanna find you in a crowd, sounds like a love song

so upbeat

i feel so high school everytime i look at you is so sweet

this songs makes my heart smile

so she plays gta now?

she calls him babe, i can'tttttt

she sounds so happy

i bet this is about Travis

very glitter pen coded

🐾I Hate It Here

my eternal consolation

she's scared to go outside, interesting

she hates to be recognized everywhere, that's what i'm getting form her

nostalgia is a mind's trick

i love that she has peaceful places in her mind, but it is sad that she has to do that because she hates it outside of her mind

i guess she loves it too, but she mostly hates it?

like you're a poet like you're trapped in the body of a finance guy

🐾thanK you alMee

the title looks like a drunken message

all that time you were throwing punches, i was building something

i can't forget the way you made me heal = "my broken bones are mending from all these nights we're spending"

laughing at each baby step i take

kinda sounded like a glass broke

my mother is a saintly woman but she used to say she wished she was dead i love Andrea and i hope she's ok

a thousand songs you find uncool = "death by a thousand cuts" / "would hide away and find your peace of mind with some indie record that’s much cooler than mine"

so she thanks him for being her muse

my spirit black and blue = "but just look what I created, i came out alive, but I'm black and blue"

I CHANGED YOUR NAMEEEEEE

A SONG ONLY WE KNOW IS ABOUT YOU must be in folklore and/or evermore

your words were ringing in my head relatable

who tf is Amy? the mistress????

🐾I Look in People's Windows

the guitarrrrrr omg

died the tiniest death

i'm afflicted by the not knowing, she keeps saying she just wants to know why

she wants him to look at her one more time, this is so sad

sounded like beach noises

i'm addicted to the if screams the 1

i think she's saying she stalks him and everyone he interacts with, which is so relatable

🐾The Prophecy

i got cursed like Eve got bitten

someone who wants my company

cards on the table, mine play out like fools = "my cards are on the table, yours are in your hand"

still i dream of him

she's begging for someone to want her, for him to actually want her

i howl like a wolf at the moon

this song is fucking me up

this is too fucking painful

let it once be me, i'm ugly crying with hiccups and all

i looked at the sky and said please

this song reminds me so much of my breakup

🐾Cassandra

she got the call?

when the truth comes out, it's quiet

who is Cassandra?

snakes

do you believe me now?

what doesn't kill you, makes you aware

the piano and her voice are sublime

gives me castles crumbling and rep vibes

they never spared a prayer for my soul, there are a lot of Christian references in this album

🐾Peter

the piano again omg, sounds like Aaron

could this be an analogy for Saint Peter?

i'm never to keep, i hate that i know this feeling

i'm having a headache from crying this much

same moon, different galaxies sounds like they were together physically but their souls weren't together

i'm having a headache from crying this much

hold on to the day that you were mine

the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light, so she can't see into their window anymore

🐾The Bolter

she almost drowned = "eyes like sinking ships on waters so inviting i almost jump in"

they nicknamed her the bolter

i love the rhythm

he was a cat

her watching him jump, then pulling him under

gives me "Slut!" vibes

so she fell through the ice and came out alive, there was a song that said she had an ice cold heart

🐾Robin

the pianoooooo is so good

you're blood thirsty

i want to stop cryingggg

you're ridiculous and you have no idea mood

they kept a secret from Robin, I guess, in sweetness, so like a white lie

it feels like she's talking to a kid or someone that's too innocent and maybe childish

🐾The Manuscript

this already sounds like it's gonna destroy me, she's gonna kill me, i swear

the manuscript of the entire torrid affair, sounds like Hamilton

so the sex was good as the convo but it didn't last, it wasn't enough

he wanted a housewife?

the piano is incredible

this whole album sounds so different and i love it

what you know looking backwards might be the only way to move forward

she knew what the agony was for

so the only thing left from their relationship is the manuscript

why isn't the story hers?

#taylor swift #ts ttpd #ttpd #the tortured poets department

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adirtnap · 1 year

Text

game tier list twenty twenty two

2022 was the year of every video game being five or more video games at the same time. games were deckbuilding AND basebuilding AND roguelite AND fishing AND farmingsims. i don't think this worked out TOO well but i can see the appeal and i hope we can make a good one sometime!

game of the year 2022:

celeste!! the best and only video game. video, space, game. this is the peak of the genre, which is understandable because it is also the only game that exists.

it's just so FUN. like, first i play celeste as a vocation AND THEN when i'm exhausted i turn off celeste, sit for a sec, and think, "ah, time for some light fun. let's play a bit of celeste."

S tier (video games of all time)

mm rando ("Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask Randomizer, allsanity settings") this shit is so fun?? it's so fun. i will play this every year

inscryption ohhhhh man did someone have fun making this game and it SHOWS. some guy that i bet really likes and appreciates magic the gathering made a video game about: what if you played magic the gathering and it mattered SO MUCH. what if everything in your world was to enable you having a good and terrible time playing (original and realllly well-designed?) trading card games. and he was RIGHT and i had a good and terrible time

dwarf fortress!!! i first played dorf fort in 2012. i learned to play it alongside a guy i'd just met on study abroad because we were bored nerds. he is now my best friend. i have loved this game for TEN YEARS!! i once met derek yu (spelunky etcetera) at a very nice party and extremely embarrassingly trapped him in a conversation so i could talk about how good dwarf fortress is. he was very gracious and understandably uncomfortable. i like this game a LOT a lot. but, for every year i've loved dorf fort, i haven't really been able to recommend it to anyone. "hey, do you want to play a game that is so fucking hard and annoying to learn?" the answer is not usually "oh yeah for sure"

everything about the new UI-remake is good. they took the "impossible to learn" out of the sentence that i have so many times said, "this game is brilliant and enchanting and also impossible to learn." (the game is now fully "and also.") they did a good one.

A tier (delightful games)

elden ring my computer was too sad to keep playing this, and i am sad about that. it was GREAT, everything about it was as delightful as the darksoul and more. i can't wait to finish it (and probably give it s-tier) when computer good

fortnite they finally made a good battle royale and it is fortnite. good job i like my friends and this game is what i did with them a lot.

super mario sunshine perfect nintendo-y game. filled with little guys of all kinds. i will play this every year

the barnacle goose experiment horror abiogenesis autoclicker!!

sayonara wild hearts GOOOOD soundtrack good game

B tier (really fun games)

vampire survivors this is the most video game ever. i've heard it described as "the best video game of 2003." i've also heard the developer used to program gambling-machine animations. i would have played this on the school bus on the way to highschool. it rules

neon white really fun, zøooomy. i don't have the patience to find microoptimizations in levels to beat my friends, but DANG is playing each level for the first time fun. the writing was cringe AND free, it made me smile

C tier (games i liked)

citizen sleeper to paraphrase shannon: a dnd-videogame except for friends at the table enjoyers. i really liked that every choice felt limited but intentional, rather than disco's fuck-you kinda dice rolls. but, the sell was: "things… are happening. hmmmm what could they be?" which was not strong enough to keep me deeply invested. i'll keep going back and playing little by little

helltaker it's like eight minutes long and it's full of newgrounds drawings of demongirls. it's not a good game. i liked it a lot

D tier (games i did not like)

loop hero. backpack hero. slice and dice. dicey dungeons these are all the same game and they are all different variations of boring

cult of the lamb ANOTHER five-games-in-one that added up to… one-half of a good game? the fighting is like worse hades, the farming sim is like worse dontstarve. the minigames are ok. it was fine

subnautica LOVE a shark! but the game was brought down by the "you have to find a tiny item in a huge ocean and if you do not you cannot progress or you will miss major parts of the story" and also "find that tiny item on a short clock with constant danger." i ended up using the wiki, and shortly after ended up reading the plot because that was more fun than playing the lategame

however, many good moments of "oh wow yikes that's a fuckoff big shark huh" which i DID enjoy

death's door not a bad time but not for me. i think i'd rather play tunic (i haven't played tunic)

F tier (i hate it)

deathloop THEY BIOSHOCK-POISONED THIS GAME SO BAD

the concept of a majora's-mask-plus-dishonored-problem-solving-shooter? quite good. this game? really sucks. this game is the sum of every boring-but-sells lesson internalized by marketing departments on the success of "the genius of environmental storytelling," but instead of genuinely funny bits (like left4dead2's graffiti!), they went for an utterly bland "THIS UTOPIA? DIDN'T WORK OUT HUH"

also the core mechanic just wasn't very fun, was it, it just didn't work. they made it a pretty good fps and also a ~nothing else~

the upside was the art direction which: was good enough to do environmental storytelling with! it makes me mad that some goooood art got wasted on this game

hon. mentions

madness in square garden, for having a good name watching someone else play outer wilds

#posting

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nellynee · 2 years

Text

Trollstopia Blindblogging: episode 5b - The Snug-a-lug Situation

Ensemble cast of background character you wouldn’t expect to see interact doing a lot of that? Val Thundershock and Lownote Jones? A really fun Branch episode that doesn’t make fun of him? An actually really good bop of a song? Funny? This is a great freaking episode. Require watching. 5/5 absolutly loved it

oooOOOOooo finally an episode who’s genre focus isn’t spoiled by the title card. I wonder if it’s and Ensemble episode?

pffffft omg is Lownote Jone’s life one big Morgan Freeman parody?

Also LOWNOTE JOOOOOOONES

groovatational pull

I’m Mcfuckin Loosing it here

Side note though not sure how into the idea that Funk Trolls are space worthy I am? pretty not very actually? Might be discarded in the headcannon cherry picking. Maaaaaaaaybe upper atmosphere at best.....

“You can never ever under any circumstance... give it a hug.” Ok I’m calling bullshit the show’s got me I legit gasped with them.

Is this a gremlins parody? I’ll never know cause I never watched Gremlins

That little affectionate look Lownote gives the snugalug omg

Branch do not do this you actually like hugs and can be open about it now head needs to come out of butt right now

Lets see... we have social inexperience, check. Too cool for hugs, check. Logic brigade, check. To much self control for hugs, check. Probably low key autism touch avoidance on some scale in all of them.... check

OK! love the volunteering, not a fan of the attitudes.” ok I give Poppy a lot of shit but it’s affectionate shit. She herself is kind of a bitch in a really endearing way.

Branch giving Val and Lagoona little fist bumps is great. I like the idea that he’s made nice with a Troll willing to call Poppy out and “the only sane Techno Troll” in the background. Same with Val and Gust. We saw them arm wrestling in just the last episode

Jesus Christ Poppy loosing her shit over the snugalug was a bit scary and very funny. Lownote went bipedal to escape from that real quick

So it’s either Gremlins or Tribbles

so if Trolls have a compulsion to hug after hugging once, are these snugalugs Troll based lifecycle parasites?

“Well not running, but I will certainly come sauntering very, very quickly” Lownote says, wearing a monocle... GOD I love him

Holy shit Right Trolls for the Job is a fucking BOP. First purely not Pop song and the first one yet that is genuinely, really, actually very good. Not just competent but GOOOOD. I was surprised it didn’t jump genres a bit when the other’s jumped in but that just proves they were all grooving hard on the same wavelength.

Oh my god it is a parasite isn’t it?

I really love the saying “combing more hair than we can style here” Actually, I really love a lot of the altered turns of phrases the Trolls have been using. You get your glitter and hair puns without it being overdone and obnoxious

Two minutes later: Cue the horror movie vibe

For real I don’t know who’s doing this but this propensity to take perfectly normal situations and give it a horror movie tone is actually really fun and I hope it keeps happening

Also these guys seem actually really distressed that’s some really good boarding and delivery there

Did they hug it secretly? Or did Lownote loose track of it and it’s come back to harass them?

Val: hisses

Branch refusing to ask for help from the obvious expert on this situation is very on point for him. He’s used to being the crisis guy and not asking for help

they can hug each other?

This episode is rated M for snugalug sex

tribbles it is!

Ok the entire animation sequence of Branch closing a bunker door, as well as all that fluidness to Cooper coming in looks suspiciously high budget

Holiday in Harmony suggests that Branch kept up on whatever was happening between him and Prince D in “Just sing” and now he, D, and Cooper are their own little friend group, and we’ve been sorely missing the Cooper and Branch interactions to look at that even if D won’t be in series, so I really appreciate Cooper just busting in all comfortable like into the bunker out of the blue

Wipes a tear oh my god Branch and Gust and Lagoona holding hands waiting for the end together bitches just pulled a Toy Story 3 and it worked

Finally! I think we are getting into the part of the series where some of the production cast were far more aware of the end product the Movie became because we get a pretty stunning approximation of the Bubble based gravity beam we saw in the movie as apposed to straight up ufo scifi rays we’ve gotten from Funk ships so far

GROUP HUG

fucking Cooper man

Ok but the delivery of that “No harm done baby” really gets me and now I know why. Looked him up and the VA has some real Broadway training. Don’t know how they snagged him but I could listen for hours.

Take note will anything come of this or is the Snugalug forgotten forever?

#trollstopia #dreamworks trolls #Branch #Val thundershot #Lownote Jones #Lagoona Tidepool #Gust Tumbleweed #Liveblogging

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madameminor · 2 years

Note

hi babez!!!

i’ve never requested anything before but i thought this would be a good idea.

reader goes to a bar and gets drunk with the batch, one of them (preferably tech or cross, but whoever u feel like) takes them back to their barracks while their drunk and stubbling around. reader is obvi very horny and begs for some *action* but batcher refuses and tucks them into bed, claiming he’ll ‘sort himself out’ and heads to the bathroom.

“i can help with that”, they claim as they step closer to the shower.

“‘no, but you can watch”

pls pls pls pls plsssss consider this!!! love ur works 💙💙

Ah dear simp! Seeing as you changed your username at his 'request', I’ll HAVE to go with Crosshair on this one :D. I hope you enjoy!

Beneath the cut - 18+, drunk behavior, masturbation (p and v)

Being outside clears your head, ripping away the comforting promise of 5 seconds ago.

The inside of 79s had been warm and muggy and smelled like men. Mmmm, men. Lots of men. Lots of clones. Maker you’d been cooped up with 4 of them for weeks and hadn’t been able to so much as STROKE your pusswa. But tonight there had been sooooo maaany of them-and they wanted to do way more than stroke you.

You had looked at every single one of them. Oh boy had you looked, feasting on the multitude you had to choose from. Clones at the clone bar in their element, looking gooood in their armor, drinking and laughing and looking back. You could easily sneak off from your squad and snuggle into a dark corner with a piece of shiny white painted plastoid pinning you up against a wall with his hips. Mmmm… perfectly drunk, too. Right at that part where everything seems possible. So easy to just pick one, slur through the small talk and get down to business.

You had found a nice one, wolf pack, smooth talker, leaning over you while you sipped at your drink and he finished his, finally realizing where his night was heading-

And then, FUCKING CROSSHAIR.

DAMMIT.

Stupid karking, mother kriffing, intervening low life stick-in-the-mud Crosshair. Didn’t need to be so aggressive with the poor trooper either. He’d pushed the poor guy off, glared down his protests, grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you away. SO not necessary. Jeez. The Batch had waved goodbye at your angry eyes. Fuckers were probably in on this too.

He wasn’t gonna fuck you, he wasn’t going to taste you, he wasn’t even going to kiss you. He was just dragging you home so you couldn’t have any fun. You can feel your words are slower than normal, can feel your anger taking over. “Crosshair, what the fuck?!”

He’s beside you, gently urging you forward with his hand on your upper arm. “You’re drunk.”

You scoff, trying to push him off. “Tha’s the POINT, Cross. Tha's why we WENT TO A BAR.”

He doesn’t falter. “Too drunk to be trying to sleep with strangers.”

You roll your eyes and pull your arm away from him. Strangers. Please. “They’re yor brothers. Hot brothers. Maybe not as hot ‘s all of you, but still hot.”

He shoots a side eye look, but stays silent. The Marauder comes into view on its landing pad.

So, there’s no way he’s turning around. Fine. You swing in front of him, hands around his neck, stopping him in his tracks. “W’ll if I don’t get to go home with any of them- that means I’m going home with you.”

“No.” He pulls you off his neck and keeps moving forward, holding you by your wrist to keep you moving.

You let the whine creep into your voice. “Cross, I w’s FINALLY about to get some action after WEEKS of NOTHING. Please?”

“No.” He doesn’t even look back at you. Bastard ruined your night and now he’s not even looking at you.

You walk a little faster than him. “Why? You don’t like me?” You start lifting up one side of your dress so he can see your ass as you move.

Something changes in his voice. “That’s not it- put your dress down.”

You reach the ramp before he does, whirling to catch him before going inside. “Come on, Cross,” you trace your hands up his chest, feeling his breath catch in his throat. You look up at him through your eyelashes, voice quiet. “You don’t want to see me on my knees here in front of you? Let you push yourself down my throat? I WANT you to, Crossy. Don’t you want me to?”

His eyes stay resolute, but you see him swallow. “No.”

You give the poutiest pout you have. “But whyyyy?”

You see him glance at your lips before looking back at your eyes. “You’re too drunk.”

You wrap his arms around you, teasing him with your smile. “So you DO like me. You just don’t want to because I am le inebriated.”

Silence follows, his face dead pan. Was he thinking about i-

He picks you up and throws you over his shoulder as he ascends the rest of the way into the ship.

You eep and push yourself up, trying to look forward at your captor. “CROOOOOOSSS!! I’m not a baby!”

“Really? You’re acting like one.”

You sure freakin’ FELT like one. You fall limp, almost sobbing into his back. “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I wanna get laaaaaaaaaaaid!!”

“Do it yourself.” He plops you down in front of your bunk. Steadying you as you regain your feet.

You look up at him again, more surprised than anything. “With you here?”

He smirks down at you, leaning his forearm against the bunk over yours. “Suddenly shy?”

“Nooooo.” You take a deep breath as you realize how close he is. He doesn’t move away. Your pulse beats faster as the moment drags on. You’d forgotten he was probably drunk, too, or at least had enough booze to loosen him up. And the way he was looking at your lips now…

“See,“ you practically whisper, hands returning to his chest, “you DO want to. You want to feel me from the inside.” He blinks a bit too slowly to be natural. You smile as you trace one hand to his jaw line. “You could haaaave it Crosshair. You could. I want you to.”

Another moment passes, and you can hear is rapid breathing, feel his heart pounding. You’re sure he’s leaning in for a kiss, only to hear him curtly mutter. “Not like this.”

THAT shuts you up. You look up at him as he pulls your arms off of him, holding them between his hands

His voice is a low, frustrated growl you’ve never heard before. “You want to see what you’re missing because you’re too drunk to ask nicely for what you want?” Your eyes follow his hand down to his codpiece. “I’m going to go take care of myself. In the shower. On my own.”

He puts his hand under your chin, making you look up at him. “And you can watch me.”

He steps away from you and walks to his bunk. He peels off his armor one piece at a time, acting like you aren’t even there. He knows you’re watching, you haven’t been able to move. You can’t believe what he’s promising, what he’s saying, what he’s not saying. With a grumble under his voice that sounds like “unbelievable” he walks towards the fresher, taking off his shirt in the process. You can see the sizeable bulge in his pants as he walks past you- you did that to him? Really? Because he was drunk, or because he WAS interested in you?

You watch him disappear and realize he left the refresher door open. You hear the start of the water running and you carefully slink to the doorway.

Maybe it’s because you’re drunk, or maybe it’s because you’re horny, but Crosshair in the shower is the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen. It send you to your knees. Add to that how hard his cock is as it lays in his hand, and you can’t help but touch yourself. You sit in the door way on your knees, hand tracing yourself over your underwear, barely able to stand it as he whispers your name under his breath.

“Kriff, just like that, mesh’la.” He starts stroking himself in the running water, pulling his skin up to the tip before sliding it down. His breath becomes more labored as his hand speeds up. He leans against the shower wall, letting the hot water run over him as he fists his throbbing cock, groaning out your name with each thrust between his fingers.

You don’t even realize that you’ve sunken your fingers inside yourself. You’re leaning forward on one hand while the other fucks into you in time with Crosshair’s thrusts. You’re keening quietly, unable to look away from your not-exactly-one-night-stand. He presses his forehead to the wall as his hands speed up, growling through his teeth.

“Louder, kitten. LOUDER.”

You gasp as you clench at his words. “Fuck, Cross, I’m going to…”

“Do it. Come while you watch me. Think about how much better this would feel if it were my cock and not just your little fingers.” He groans as his hips start to stutter, as your moan echos around the fresher walls, both of you coming all over yourselves in a frenzy to feel good. Crosshair continues to pump himself as you fall forward onto your elbows, hands slick with your wet dripping on the floor. You place your warm forehead on the cool metal as you pant to yourself, clearer headed from the orgasm, still loose from the alcohol. You hear the water turn off and quiet, wet footsteps making their way. You look up to see Crosshair over you, breathing heavily as he looks down at you. He crouches down, reaching out to lift your chin up to look at him.

“Next time,” he growls. “Ask for what you want when I know you mean it. This won’t happen again.”

You nod weakly, glazed eyes staring at his lips.

“Good girl. Now go to sleep. We’ll talk about this in the morning.” He stands and steps around you heading to his bunk, leaving you panting and pulsing on the floor.

It was going to be a very long night.

#tbb crosshair smut #crosshair smut #tbb crosshair #requests for madame

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cardinailed0 · 3 years

Note

Hi! Do you have any game recommendations? You seem to have a nice taste in my opinion!

Oii... well, I can't promise I won't recommend games you have already played or that you'll for sure like them, so I guess it's just gonna be a list of games I hope to get more recognition? :'D

So uhh, a list with no particular order to it because I suck:

RUINER (fast-paced gameplay, fire music; the plot is a bit lacking, but the atmosphere and music and brutality kinda make up for it, love it; you play as. Hmm.... uhm... let's say a guy with a sick helmet who has anger issues)

Katana Zero (also pretty fast, beautiful pixel art, the music SLAPS; though kinda short, but oh oh my god it has such special vibes and also a free dlc is on the way with more lore and all that; absolutely love the plot; you play as an assasin who can low-key bend time)

Shattered: Tale of The Forgotten King (I just started this one, might not be for a weak machine but it's worth looking into at least for the lore and just visuals, the people Knew what people want when designing these funky friends; a souls-like, playing as a funky wanderer)

VA-11 HALL-A (?I hope I spelled that correctly; Valhalla is a bartender simulator where you get to just... vibe with all sorts of people and make drinks specific to their requests to "change their lives"; precious music, great pixel art and overall good vibes, cried when it had to end)

Slay the Spire (if you like card games and getting unexpected lore mid run then go for it; funky music and 4 characters to play as, also challenges and such, it's nice :])

INMOST (GAWD IT'S GOOOOD; a great story revolving around three characters that gets woven into one plot, amazing pixel art and the music is just mwah; not very long but I so worth it, cool puzzles and gameplay overall)

Darkest Dungeon (you die, a lot, but enjoy the aesthetics and gameplay too much to stop because you're addicted. Turn-based rpg is what it is, funky eldritch lore beneath it all)

Idk if anyone doesn't know of OFF but oi play it, play it to probably get nightmares about those babies in cleared out zones and also get a taste of truly regretting your decisions.

Gonna go ahead and just say Hyper Light Drifter, Hollow Knight and A Hat In Time if there's a chance you haven't seen them🗡

All funky and sad and also hey cool music and art idk (ahit is more of a funky nice time till you get to the subcon forest to meet that dead guy and his ex)

And uhhh if you do like turn-based rpgs and also have a ps4 then I guess persona 5 royal (cus Maruki......),, I'm putting such a game here because it kind of... helped me through a nasty part of a year, so I would binge play it because I couldn't do anything else and felt horrible, so that's why it's here dbsbsjj

I'm gonna stop here cus otherwise I will perish

Sorry if this answer is. Too long sjaghsjs???

#sorry

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misslilli · 3 years

Text

Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | AO3

Chapter 10 - XOXO, Gossip Girl

[ DS ]

“Man, I thought our staff meeting was never going to end, I was boored out of my mind while Principal Skinner droned oon and oooon about the importance of having the kid’s desks and chairs at the perfect heights!” Sarah pours herself another glass and passes the bottle to Holly, who agrees wholeheartedly.

“I know, how long can a freaking staff meeting take, everyone’s life flashed before my eyes, I thought I was gonna die in that meeting!” I grab the bottle from Holly and refill my glass.

“Yeah, when he started going over the fire hazards, that haven’t changed in the four year’s we’ve been teaching there, mind you, I was about ready to strangle him with my lanyard!”

“It wasn’t that bad guys, you’re being dramatic. I think he made some interesting points in his speech about classroom safety – seems like you’re going to need it with yours, S!” Alex, always the voice of reason, hands out seconds of our clam chowder.

“I know”, Sarah replies, “The first year’s always a clumsy bunch. On Wednesday one of mine, Felix, he managed to skin both his knees and his hands pretty badly. Poor kid, had to be picked up by his dad!”. Suddenly, the bowl of soup in front of me seems like the most interesting thing in the world and I push bits of clam around with my spoon quietly.

Sarah continues with her story: “He’s a cute kid though, very bright and I can tell he’s good with observing other people, judging their emotions, you know? And get this, I get such a kick out of this: His name’s Felix, yeah? and his dad’s name is Fox. Fox and Felix, how cute is that? I love it! And hoo boy, his dad is. A fox, I mean. He’s devastatingly handsome and so charming!”

Holly whistles through her teeth. “Oooh an interesting turn of events, so much better than complaining about the staff meeting!” At the mention of Felix’s dad, a blush creeps onto my cheeks and I continue to silently stare into my soup. Sarah’s right, of course, and my arm tingles again as I remember the encounter. The elephant on my chest is making an encore performance as well.

“You do realize that that’s a pretty inappropriate topic of conversation we’re having, right?”. Alex gives Sarah and Holly her patented raised-eyebrows, no-nonsense look, which makes Holly giggle.

“Great job at sucking out the fun of a conversation, Alexandra!” Meanwhile, I’m tracing figure-eight swirls into my chowder with my spoon, still not contributing to the conversation, praying to God they won’t notice.

“Of course, he’s off-limits to me as one of my student’s dad but I’m sure he’ll be a hit with the moms, single or not.” Holly goes along with her around a spoonful of soup.

“That’s for sure, I’d be surprised if they haven’t roped him into helping out with every. single. function they have planned this year!” Grinning, she turns her attention to me. “Hey Silent Bob, you’ve been awfully quiet over there, what gives?”

‘Oh shit.’

“You’ve met him D, when he came to pick up his son, haven’t you? Back me up over here!”

“Uh huh…yea…” I mumble into my soup, trying my hardest to hide my flaming cheeks.

Holly frowns at me, cocking her head to her side. Sarah shoots the others a confused look. I swallow thickly around a clam, my throat so tight I can feel it pass all the way down to my stomach.

Alex covers my clammy hand with hers. “Are you alright, D?” I can’t even recognize my own voice when I squeak out a high-pitched “Ya, sure…” and a nervous laugh escapes my lips. I feel pathetic.

Sarah’s eyes widen and she gasps, realization dawning: “YOU LIKE HIM!” I want to dig myself a hole right then and there and crawl into it to die. Damn my Irish complexion for betraying me in a moment of need.

I raise my eyes from my soup and look around at their faces. Sarah’s still in shock and stares at me, Holly is wearing an huge grin of unadulterated glee and Alex just looks at me over her glass with a thoughtful expression on her face, waiting for me to continue. “Yeah, maybe I do…” I sigh miserably and shrug my shoulders, swirling the wine around in my glass.

Holly claps her hands together excitedly, startling the rest of us. “Oh Lordy this is gooood stuff, a budding romance graces the sorrow halls of Plymouth Elementary!”. I frown at her exuberance and Sarah wakes from her stupor.

“I know right? Finally, someone to charm that little rainbow skirt right off of D and I think he’d be the perfect candidate to do just that! His little mini-me is already permanently attached to your side at recess, I saw!” The mention of Felix makes me slide down in my chair just a little bit more and I look down into my bowl, embarrassed.

Alex sets down her glass slowly. “Why the long face, D?”

“Well… you do know that this child must have a mother around, as well, don’t you?” I whisper into my spoonful of soup.

Alex nods solemnly but Sarah pipes up immediately: “I think I can help with that. I only ever saw his dad pick him up, except for today, when his mother did. So like the Curious George that I am, I went to admin and looked at his file – I know, I know, I’m too nosey for my own good – his dad is listed as a sole custodial parent.” She looks pleased with herself. A little glimmer of hope settles in the pit of my stomach at her words, he’s a single parent!

“Still, from what I hear from S, the little guy is already pretty attached to you and he’d be caught right in the line of fire when things go south. He’s already been through a divorce, girls.” At Alex’s words, the little glimmer dies an untimely death.

“A, nothing has started yet and you’re already talking about things going south, you’re ruining all the romance!”

As always, Sarah agrees with Holly. “You’re always so unromantic, Alexandra, let her live a little, she deserves whatever it is that’s about to start!”

They’re trying to get a raise out of Alex, but I’m willing to bet that she won’t budge on this. “It’s not about that and you know it. I wish D all the happiness in the world but there’s a kid here, a kid who’s already been through so much and more importantly, who is already somewhat attached. Think about him for a second before you start up anything.” Before the others can start their counter-argument, I interject.

“Guys! Stop! She’s right! Nothing is ever going to start. Besides Felix, you know how small our town is! People talk. And that talk might very well cost me my reputation andmy job!” It’s a pretty lame excuse, but I can’t tell them that I’m completely overwhelmed by my feelings and the whole situation. Overwhelmed and terrified.

Sarah refills our glasses with the rest of the wine. “Are you kidding me, D? You finally stumble across a guy you like and you’re going to pine for him from afar because you’re afraid the town folk are going to dust off the torches and pitchforks?”

I shift in my seat, uncomfortable. “Can we talk about something else? Please?”

“Que será, será, chicas.,” Holly sings under her breath.

Whatever will be, will be.

#xf #the x files #xf fanfic #msr #felix felicis

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tsuki-sennin · 2 years

Text

Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Episode, Jeanne Epi-

Spoilers, I guess...

-Wow, Subaru Kimura does like... a really good job?

-Eitoku too, that man is a living legend.

-HE'S PUTTING IKKI BACK IN THE PHOTO I'M :sob: :sob:

-Tama-chan :D

-You're doin' great buddy, just keep doing what you're doing :)

-BUU-SAN :O

-How's Genta doin???

-He's back!!

-I don't mean to harp on how suspicious I find Weekend, but I really hope getting put back into a militaristic organization involving Vistamps, demons, and Kamen Riders doesn't affect Genta's mental state too badly.

-Hug your daughter, man!

-Damn, like... Gen-chan looked really cool in that last shot. It's hard to believe that goofy Japanese dad ByTuber Genta Igarashi and hardened private military veteran Junpei Shiranami are the same person, but uh... whew, I see why Yukimi fell for him.

-Igarashi Fam got me cryin' in the old Deadmans Nightclub for real

-Oh God, we're seeing Aguilera as a kid again. ...and yep, those creepy-ass doomers trying to mold this young child into a bridal sacrifice still make me deeply uncomfortable, which... is kinda the point, so good job guys.

-Damn, even in the throes of despair brought upon by years of deception and doubt... you're still slaying in those outfits, queen.

-Hikaru, do you even have creepy-ass parents? Or are Tasuke and Kimiko the closest thing you have?

-"I'm the interrupting Tamaki-kun~! :D"

-Guess that's why they say be careful what you wish for, huh Sakura?

-OH FUCK THERE SHE IS

-"1v1 me, bitch"

-Slayin' with Queen Bee!

-"Hold my bag, Hikaru-kun. Girlbosses are talking."

-Heated drama between men... and women! Kinoshita knows exactly what we as a society want!

-"Hahaha, good job my well-intentioned soldiers! With these Vistamps recovered, we are one step closer to our ultimate goal~! Mwahahahahahahahaha! Er, I mean- Hahahaha, isn't that wild to think about?"

-Man, Jun Hashimoto looks like he's having the time of his life playing Akaishi, and honestly I respect that so hard.

-Wow, ok. "She's only your sister's stalker bro, fuck her lmao."

-Oh hi George. Akemi-san.

-"For the greater gooood~!"

-You'll go find evidence... alone, you mean? I mean, I'm absolutely living for the ladies in this show being so proactive and important, but are you sure you wanna do that?

-"Ohhhh, okay, I won't be reckless." said Akemi-sensei, the liar.

-THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGGGG

-Love-chan, help us, you're our salvation!

-She went kaboom.

-BONK

-Ohhhh, I guess it's taking a toll on Lovekov.

-Is the Queen Bea Deadman... Deadwoman? Who cares, is she covered in honey?

-Damn, cool touch.

-Aaaaand, Aguilera wins on a technicality.

-"Rabu... Sakura :("

-She gone.

-Ohhhhhh, wow, that's dark.

-Raised in isolation to become a dark messiah. A Queen of All Evil for the brainwashed masses of the Deadmans.

-Fuck, dude.

-...gotta say though, that's a really good drawing of Ikki, Vice. Is there some sort of hidden artistic side to Ikki we haven't seen?

-Guess we need to be the best oldest brother in the universe, again!

-Akemi the infiltration expert. Never has inevitable shock and terror been so good looking.

-OH GOD AKAISHI'S GOT THE CREEPY EYE HAND OUT

-OH GOD GIFU

-"The driver's fine." ...kinda looks like Sakura should give the screen a bit of the old iCloth though. ...maybe a spray of EVEO.

-"You need to get a grip, gurl" said Papa Karizaki in his Bane voice.

-Aww, Hikaru's actually concerned.

-As much of an asshole Tasuke is, he does kinda have a point. Regardless of the circumstance, Aguilera's a national criminal, and even if she were to live out her life as Hana Natsuki, she'd still have to deal with the trauma and abuse she suffered at the hands of Akaishi and the rest of the cult.

-I guess the big question here isn't "Could Sakura stick to her ideals?" but instead "Can Sakura live with whatever consequence that comes from her sense of justice?"

-Oh this is fucked.

-Spirited away, OH THAT IS FUCKED.

-Busting out a pun to downplay the tremendous loss of a human life, that is sick.

-"Shut up and go, Igarashi. You've got people to save."

-Rooftop time.

-Tamaki really is like a dog, isn't he? His loyalty really is unshakable, even if Aguilera dismisses him.

-Wow, Aguilera really told her to "git gud".

-"You want a job opening?"

-"Ohhhhhhhhhhh, she mad!"

-Ohhhhh, Lovekov sounds dejected.

-De-demonize her!

-Ohhh, she do the ponytail thing!

-I can't imagine how many innocent Fenix soldiers must've died because of Akaishi's plotting.

-Mmmmm, shoot 'em up, Dai-chan! It'll be great practice for the director!

-Daaaaaaamn, Aguilera's really kicking ass.

-Lovekov's rage boils over!

-:O

-SAKURA, HOMEGIRL-

-SHE SHIELDED AGUILERA HOLY FUCK

-NEXT EPISODE FUCK

-VAIL REAL

-HOLY FUCK ARE HIS COLORS SCARY

-They seem so removed from Junpei's Rider form too!

-YESSSSSS THE GIRLS ARE DOIN IT

-Heated drama between women.

-THAT'S A LOVEKOV SCYTHE

-SAKURA-CHAN I LOVE YOU WHAAAAAT

-Gay??????????

-GAYYYY

-Fuck, what am I gonna do for seven days now!?

-Ok, I read that the new Hashibirokou Genome is based on a shoebill... and Hibiki, of all Riders. Shoebills are absolutely horrific birds, but Hibiki seems a bit ill-fitting for a scythe. ...it kinda looks like the Armed Saber if I squint a bit, but this seems kinda... no, very random. Hibiki representation, even if in weird, limited capacity is nice though, I won't knock it.

-If Aguilera dies, I riot. ...I know that's not gonna happen though, so I guess I'll just have to wait.

#revive the vice: imprinted like stamps and fossils #kr revice #kamen rider revice #revice spoilers #kamen rider

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despairforme · 5 months

Text

He enjoyed watching the fireworks last night.

#[ HELLO GUYS! ]#[ good evening! :D ]#[ i spent the whole day drawing and painting uvu ]#[ AND ALSO shuffling snow like holy heck we're having a TON of snow ]#[ - nnoitra dislikes - ]#[ now i'm here to write 8)) ]#[ gonna queue some drafts and do some asks uvu/ ]#[ hope you're all doing gooood! hope the start of the year is kind to you! :D <5 ]#despair for me. ╱ in character.#burn the city. ╱ main verse.

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maplecourtesy · 3 years

Text

TAZ:G NOTES, EPISODE 38

god okay. it’s finale time. this ones a long one im both very scared and very excited. the setup they did in the last episode was SO cool i’m very hyped for this

OKAY OKAY WE ARE STARTING.

and going STRAIGHT into a boss battle with CHAOS BUILD CHARACTERS this is so sick

[most of the content under the cut, because spoilers!!]

CAN I JUST SAY, THE USE OF THE WORD HERO IN THE EPISODE DESCRIPTION VS TRAVIS’ EXPOSITION BEFORE THE BATTLE. “we need some heroes.” vs “at some point in the past this might have been a job for a hero. but not now, not anymore.” i love that. so much. ive said it before and ill say it again one of the sexiest parts of grad is the way they redefined heroes and villains.

oh right holy shit chaos and order shouldn’t have been able to exist together,, chaos and order are at such ends now that theyve completely split,, chaos no longer relies on order thats so sexy

RELEASE THE KRAKEN VERY POGGERS ACTION NAME they r so cool and powerful i love them

IMAGINE taking 20 damage from fitzroy just being in ur VICINITY

oh i forgot about gray he and althea are there right

BIG SNIPPERS??!??!!?!? BIG SNIPPERS. MY BABY BOY I LOVE HIM.

im so tired of order can they do something cool instead of blinding the one pc who’s not even gotten a turn yet

FUCK SHIT UP ARGO awesome thats 66 damage good for him he is JUST like loki

hey this ethereal music kinda vibes

everyone is kittens. hm.

ENJOY THESE MEOW-TEORS meow

i am very happy about all the meowing but also i think its very funny that justin said hes gonna dislike any firbolg art he sees

FURBOLG

fitzroy kitty cat rage…. what are we even doing here whats going on

i wish that grays first epic move wasnt as a kitten but i can work with this

FITZROY GIVES GRAY HIS MAUL??? i think this is the peak of the sibling dynamic between them. bickering and complaining but cooperating when it really matters

GOD. how are we having every fucking cartoon trope in one battle. u guys know in cartoons when they like get put through some beam and u see into different universes or whatever and theyre cats and they have a body swap and maybe theres a sock puppets one. this is that.

GRIFFIN FIRBOLG IMPRESSION

maplekeeners stay winning

argo does a sexy graceful reverse dive but he also looks like fitzroy so thats fitzroy. good.

NOW THEYRE THE REAL GUYS. i hate this

cannot believe im listening to justin mcelroy roleplay justin mcelroy sending meteors at a horde of hellhounds

GRIFFIN MCELROY PUSHES GRAY THE DEMON PRINCE TO THE GROUND SAYS SOME COOL MOVIE LINE AND CASTS THE BIGGEST THUNDERWAVE EVER.

SNIPPERS KAIJU

THIS IS THE SOCK PUPPET AND THE DIFFERENT ANIMATION STYLE BIT OF THE CARTOON TROPES.

fuck off travis give me animated taz

i do like this music a lot its got video game vibes

DIFFERENT CLINT MCELROY??? disgraced dj clint mcelroy x janitor clint mcelroy fanfic /j please dont

AUDIENCE??? thats me im the ones cheering

THUNDERMAN LOVE LANGUAGE IS HANDS ON SHOULDERS. and now they are both clouds of gas

fuck that is so cool fitzroy is the coolest hes just shooting lightning out of his hands and its his cool lightning illuminating him. THATS a painting

AW WHAT. HEYYY WHAT ORDER STOP IT IT WAS GETTING GOOOOD.

chaos i like u so much. i’m a chaos sympathist and apologist now i adore them

mission imp-hospital <3

oh my god what the hell i just got chills i love this so much,, everyones a hero,,, this fucks .,, theyve destroyed capitalism and systemic injustice i love them very much

A BALANCE HAS SHIFTED.. THE WORLD HAS TURNED TO CHAOS.

i am so enamored with how travis described that this makes me so happy

order i hope u die powerless and fearful

THEYRE SINGING THE THUNDERMEN SONG. GOD I LOVE THEM…

it would be very sexy if they did just cut to black i wouldnt be mad.

CHAOS E N D ORDER. PLEASE. U DESERVE THIS CHAOS.

GO TO HELL. INCREDIBLE. FUCK THATS SO GOOD good firbolg lines today as always.

FIRBOLG IS GRAYS FAVORITE?!?!?

chaos i love u very much. i think they deserve to have whatever they want ever

FITZROY LETTING HIM KEEP HIS MAUL,,

obsessed with gray calling fitzroy his best friend right after saying the firbolg was his favorite and then ending their last conversation ever by telling argo he’s his son.

althea and barb r girlfriends <3

literally what happened to rainer btw where is she

leon and buckminster r boyfriends <3

OH RAINER HI THERE SHE IS

thunderman llc doesn’t have time for labels

OH THE MUSIC… THIS BRINGS ME BACK

i like it very much that during taz graduation, instead of graduating, they became anarcho-anticapitalists and took down the entire school system.

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 5 YEARS. we’re doing a timeskip ending…

btw where did the fucking time travel fit into this i’m still confused about that.

okay but do they not sail away on a ship together. on argo’s new ship.

he’s just… fitzroy maplecourt now!!! wow…. that character arc is so near and dear to my heart. from forcing people to call him by his full name and his full title to relieving himself of the titles completely.. guys i love fitzroy

FITZROY BOYCLOAKS MAGAZINE COVER PAGE 8 ISSUES IN A ROW AND HES STARTED A WOODLAND CREATURE FASHION LINE AND HES RICH. he helps out his parents too that’s so sweet.. And he’s got a beard.

JUST PLAIN OLD FITZROY<3333333333 ouhgh,,, this is so cute… he’s getting closure. and he gets to give a cool speech…. about anarchism………. and going to fucking Law School. oh that’s very good..

does. the firbolg settle down. ill fucking lose it. DOES THE FIRBOLG FUCK THE TINY GARY. I CAN’T DO THIS I COULDN’T DO THIS. THIS IS THE FUCKING WORST PLEASE DON’T. does the firbolg BECOME a gary!?!?!?!?!? what the fuck is happening i’m so confused please stop. can we just go back to having the thundermen be friends so the firbolg isn’t lonely. please. i’m going fucking insane this can’t be how the firbolg ends i can’t fucking do this i can’t call him gary. his name can’t be gary. NotLikeThis.

IS THIS A GARY COMMERCIAL. I HATE THIS

OKAY ARGO TIME PLEASE HAVE A GOOD ONE ARGO PLEASE.

argo on the firboat!!! what will he do!!!

A CRUISE SHIP YES. FUCK YES OKAY I CAN WORK WITH THIS. what the fuck does he mean by the firbolg experience. why is there a theme song oh god oh no.

i’m in hell order’s gone to hell and taken me with them. how did he fucking come up with this. AND he ends with the thunderman llc. good.

OH THEY’RE ALL ON THE CRUISE SHIP… cute i like this

HE COMMANDEERS THE COMMODORES FLEET AND HAS TURNED THEM INTO A CRUISE SHIP LINE

oh,,, fitzroy suggesting they go for one last fight? ;; cute as well.

DON’T JOKE ABOUT GRAD2ATION I WILL CRY. ISN’T THE NEXT ARC SET ON THE SEAS. DON’T JOKE ABOUT THIS

oh ;;;;;w;;;;;;;;; fitzroy………<3 he has grown so much,, no more considering himself above his companions,, he is just fitzroy maplecourt and he loves and misses his pals. and because of this he will get a cruise ship based on him.

YEAHHHHHH FRONT FOR PIRACY. GOOD.

oh my god,, fitzroy becomes a robin hood of the seas.

they all miss each other ;;;; <3

ARE WE GONNA END WITH THE THEME SONG. CHRIST. OKAY.

no this fucking sucks actually. goodbye everyone. it’s been nice.

AWWW THE END MUSIC… wowowowowow they brought it full circle with the soundtrack and ended with laughing and a fun little fitzroy joke. i’m happy with that :]

i’ll miss the thundermen so very much,, i don’t know how excited i am for the next arc it kinda rests on the pcs,, i prefer griffin’s pcs over when he dms but let’s see!!! well pogchamp fun end to perhaps my favorite taz arc!!!!<3333333

#taz #taz graduation spoilers #taz grad #taz g #taz graduation #taz grad spoilers #the adventure zone #the adventure zone graduation #taz episode 38 #sir fitzroy maplecourt #fitzroy maplecourt #argonaut keene #argo keene #master firbolg #the firbolg #taz notes by krys #krys talks

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cottoncandyjester · 3 years

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This might be an odd request but...would Theodore be fine meeting Y/N's family? For all the yanderes, how would they react to Y/N saying, "Alright I want you to meet my family." And the yandere is confuse cause they've been together for quite a few years (let's say 5) Y/N might say, "My family is very nice, they are just curious on who you are."

Okay so I don't know if you are aware...but my yanderes are all chaotic as hell so this is going to go ✨GREAT✨

Theodore

He is instantly curious and low-key excited

He wants to know what your family is like and how they sharp you as a person

He did find it super weird that you two were engaged and he has yet to meet a single family member of yours

Having dinner with your family is just him being on his best behavior

Of course he has his adorable nervous moments but he is definitely a charmer

"so, theodore is it tell us why you love [y/n] so much? What is your future together?"

Theodore twitched lightly at the question from one of your parents and he gave a nervous smile before pushing his glasses up and clearing his throat before he lovingly glanced your way.

"well, I'm hoping for children and with the wedding coming up there is a lot of excitement around that I do hope you all make it..family is everything to me"

"oh we should look at baby photos! Wouldn't that be fun?"

Theo had a fiery gaze at the thought of looking at you as a child he was way too excited for that though you looked like you wanted to die of embarrassment.

"m-man I'm stuffed we should go right babe?"

Theo looked your way before giving you a sweet grin, he clearly was showing you that you had absolutely zero choice in this matter

"now now sweetheart, we shouldn't leave so early after all I would love to catch a glimpse at what our children could look like?"

Hikaru

He didn't want you to meet his family so the fact that you didn't bring up yours didn't bother him

You guys have been together for a long time and neither of you met each other family

You were the one who wanted to change that after all

Hikaru... honestly wanted nothing to do with it but after four hours of arguing he agreed.

Hikaru is a beautiful boy so of course he uses that charm to his favorite

He is extra as hell so wooing your family comes with inviting them to a fancy restaurant dinner

You honestly want to choke him for how cocky he is but your family eats it up cause he knows exactly what to say

Of course his temper gets to him when it comes to you having younger siblings (if you don't just go with it lol)

Hikaru can only play nice for so long

You watched as your boyfriend smiles charmingly towards your family, he was quite the actor that's for sure. You couldn't help but hold back a laugh earning a dirty glare his direction it was clear that he hated this but he wanted you to stop bugging him about it.

He was actually doing good until he felt a sharp kick earning a harsh hiss of pain, his eyes shot towards your younger siblings this was the fifth time they kicked him and he was definitely about to snap.

"so hikaru, why don't you tell my family about how much you love me"

Your distracting words seemed to work a little to calm him down until he felt another kick, and he snapped.

"alright you brat, what the hell?!"

Oh boy here we go.

"it was an accident!"

"you've been doing it the entire time!"

"b-babe maybe you should coo-"

Your younger sibling stuck their tongue out at hikaru earning a low growl towards him as his left eye twitched, well at least the rest of your family found it to be amusing.

"you can't have [y/n]! I won't let you steal them away you flashy demon!"

"the hell did you call me?! And what do you mean I can't have them they are already mine!"

Well this night was going perfectly.

Axis

Mr lovable crybaby actually cries when you tell him that your family wants to meet him

Meeting your family means you're serious about the relationship

"axis, baby we've been together for six years... we're engaged."

"b-but you DO love me! I knew it!"

Honestly when your family comes over for dinner he is shaking cause he doesn't like uncomfortable question

He knows your family is sweet since you're sweet but still

He helped make dinner so his pride is on thin ice aka he will cry if they hate it

He is so nervous that he is just an anxiety mess

Super emotional and just so in love with you

"i-i love [y/n] so much, they are amazing and they smell nice and i-i just love them so so much! I wanna marry them of course!"

You honestly felt pretty bad for laughing while axis was being super emotional but he was just wayyy too cute at the moment.

"babe, I love you too"

You reached and held axis' hand still holding back laughing only to see him pout.

"d-dont laugh! I'm fragile!"

Seems your parents liked him though which was good though you did worry is they liked him too much you could already see them coming over for every holiday, though you were sure axis didn't mind.

Salem

Sooo you thinking about having salem meet your family is a horrible idea but they wanted to know who has your heart

Salem of course freaks out a tad when you tell him you invited your family over for brunch

He isn't normal in the slightest so he had to act normal in his own way

It was a bit of a trainwreck but you think it went well

"so salem...what exactly do you do for a living"

You twitched at that question since telling your family that your boyfriend is a camboy wasn't exactly the best way to introduce him.

You glanced at salem who was far too busy stuffing his mouth with waffles while humming, he was clearly not going to be of help at the moment.

"salem works from home a boring home job right babe?"

Salem gulped before chuckling darkly at your little lie, you gave him a light glare warning him to behave and he simply stuck his tongue out gliding two fingers along them adoring the feeling.

"mhmmm, such a gooood job~"

Salem was practically drooling just thinking about work tonight while you nervously laughed at his antics but honestly you did love him so his behavior in your eyes was kinda cute. He was like a puppy, a slobbering puppy.

"what plans do you two have in the future?"

Salem perked up clearly excited about this question and so he started to speak but you have a bad feeling

"lots and lots of hot steammmyyyy se-"

You covered the male's mouth ignoring the feeling of him slobbering and licking your hand

"o-oh babe you're such a jokester haha!"

You glared at salem who only gave you a lustful gaze right back, he knew fully well that you'll punish him for this and he was ready for that.

Prince

Yikes he is not used to meeting someone's family

Totally not ready

Sure you guys are preparing for a kid but that doesn't mean he's ready!

He totally freaks out when you say that you two are spending the weekend at your parents house for old times

I mean sure he likes the idea of screwing you in your old bedroom while your parents are asleep but like meeting them? He isn't sure about that one

He actually gets along with your family pretty well

"so prince was it? What an interesting name!"

Prince simply chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair before giving your family such a charming smile.

"is it? I suppose so. Though I like to think [y/n] loves me cause I'm so interesting"

You rolled your eyes at his antics, who knew a psychopath could be so damn Charming, they definitely adored his sparkling charm to a point where you were sure your siblings formed a new found crush.

Yuki

"babe my family wants to you"

"mhm..."

"tonight"

"oh."

He was far too busy drawing tattoo designs to focus but he knew what you were saying and he wasn't worried

Yuki is a blunt person he says whatever comes to mind cause he's too sleepy and depressed to deal with bullshit like being too nervous

"you must love [y/n] a lot to be with them this long are kids in the future?"

"hmmmm...dunno."

You glanced over at yuki who looked absolutely bored and like he wanted to crash at any moment but you knew thats how he always was.

"o-oh well what about marriage?"

"...maybe."

"what are some of your hobbies"

Yuki picked his head up and gave a soft grunt before he turned his head away thinking slowly about what to say

"I like...sleeping...eating..[y/n].."

Yuki suddenly rested his head on your shoulder with a sleepy hum now hugging you close clearly wanting to take a nap right there

"I like [y/n]..more than eating and sleeping though."

Rocket

Your buff himbo of a fiancee was honestly excited to meet your family

He was worried about being seen as an idiot meathead though...even though he was

He wasn't nervous in the slightest when the time came

He just said what was on his mind even if it was stupid

He really loved you and that's what mattered

"haha! Wow you're [y/n]'s family? Ooh! So cool!"

You watched your extremely tall and beefed up boyfriend hover over your family excitedly like a dog. You were worried his joyful antics were intimidating your family just a tad.

"hey babe? Can you help grab the charcoal from the car?"

Rocket looked over at you before giving you an excited smile, a chance to show his strength?! Hell yeah!

"of course babe! Here hold it!"

Within a second he was throwing his hoodie off now in a tank top, he was totally showing off and you were here for it! Just watching him carry two bags of charcoal like it was nothing kinda made you hot and bothered

This barbeque was going to be filled with some interesting tension. You sat at the picnic table watching as rocket helped with the grill.

Your family loved rocket which made you feel better for sure plus he was the center of attention which you knew made him happy

"babeeee!"

"yeah babe?"

"you look smoking! I love you!"

You snorted out a laugh from his adorable wink and compliment..damn you loved your himbo.

Scarlett

Oh she was ready

She wanted to prepare dinner for your family

She loved the idea of being included into your family

She did want you to meet her family as well but she was worried about her twin brother trying to torture you or something

She of course was as graceful and sweet as always

She was excited to know about all those childhood memories you have

"so [y/n] tells me that you're an herbalist, sounds interesting though must be hard to get business with modern medicine being popular"

Scarlett simply giggled before playing with one of her ponytails as she tried to explain her view on things.

"well, my medicine is actually sold sometimes to hospitals though I try to avoid it, herbal medicine has its great perks"

Scarlett had always been greatly intelligent but she was impressing you for sure. She was great at speaking and charming others, of course she was beautiful while doing it

"would you all care for some dessert? I wish to know more about [y/n] when they were a child"

"really scar?"

"of course my love, after all I love you no matter what"

#yandere imagines #yandere #yandere ocs

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