one string is all that I need

So hi! I wrote that rant few days ago, and decided to watch Eurovision: The Story of Fire Saga just for… fun(???) This is my edited live reactions, and serious not spoiler free nit picking.

Here you go, so you don't have to watch it. These are in the order of appearances.

This is made with EBU???

Why the fuck Americans cannot play Europeans without terrible accents

Not really sure if Iceland has this terrible electric grid? If the power will cut if you use two keyboards and disco lights, maybe you should be worried about your infrastructure…

Picturing Icelanders as wool/fur dressing people living in the 1950’s, seriously.

Yep, for sure the Nordic way of life, living with your parents as 50-year-old.

I think these names aren't Icelandic

Iceland: whales, wool, fur, knitting, Vikings, glaciers, and icebergs. Elves. Lava fields. Northern Lights. So many jokes about being relatives and everyone knowing everyone.

I think only thing they forgot is Blue Lagoon and the football chant.

The after recording of the dialogue is terrible????

 

Ja Ja Ding Dong is really kinda good. It should have been in Icelandic, and it could have been "the iconic national winner which never qualified for finals, but everyone back home loves”.

What is that 1950’s buss? This movie makes Iceland seems like a third world country, not the 16TH RICHEST in the world based on GDP per Population.

People not caring about national final…

I'm going to die of second hand embarrassment.

I don’t understand this “Iceland is in the middle of nowhere, so they have never seen modern stuff” narrative. I’m surprise they didn’t travel to Scotland in Viking ship.

Like Icelandic people, have you seen minifridge and hotels before? Based on this movie, you haven’t.

There aren’t any pre-Eurovision things at all for performers.

Oh god I hate these accents.

Why they talk like toddlers all the time? It's like adult people in Europe don’t use adult vocabulary when speaking English. (Like, they just used word "club dancing"?)

 

I feel like this Russian song isn't really the song Russia would send...

I see the homophobia commentary, but he is so stereotypical Russian oligarch type of character.

Pls. Shouldn't there be a little more people in rehearsal? Press and audience maybe?

They haven't rehearsed at all? Have they sat at home for two three months doing nothing?

They just casually decided remix their song and start rehearsing it DAYS before semifinal.

No costumes, no staging, no choreography?

"Everyone hates UK so zero points" à THEY EVEN MADE A JOKE ABOUT THIS, AND STILL ESC IS HELD IN UK

I think Iceland has champagne glasses.

How they don’t know other competitors? Lars is supposed to be ESC superfan.

 

I this sing along part was kinda fun.

In the bigger context just a fan service kind of feeling, like “see, these people are legendary right, here you go, have Alexander Rybak for like 5 seconds.”

And why they started it with Madonna and Cher? Very Eurovision related. Not at all used for Americans to understand even something. How about using ABBA and Celine Dion if you wanted something familiar for US audience?

Think how amazing this could have been if they would have talked their own languages!

Mark "second hand embarrassment" as my cause of death.

These American tourists are like one jab on Americans, and rest of it is making fun of Europeans being mean to them.

This movie is sooooo slow

 

Why Scottish hosts are from Eastern Europe?

As a Finn I'm not going to accept that cheap copy of Lordi was representing Belarus, mixed with 2015 Belarus???

And as a Finn I can say for sure Wonderfour would never qualify from our National Final.

Didn't they read the rule book first? Anyone? I think you can find it in PDF in Google (you can)

The staging is so underwhelming. And this audience wtf?

As if they wouldn't stop the music when performer could be hurt.

I think it's almost insulting to say, that audience would laugh at anyone in Eurovision.

Lars is super selfish all. The. Time.

Nobody checked if they were alright after that accident.

 

This voting system? Spain, Italy, UK, Germany performing? Too many performers on stage? I though Finland was in this semi, but hey, I think they just guess starred and never made it to voting part even though they performed.

Did the Icelandic delegation just leave Sigrid alone in the green room?

How the fuck this movie can lasts 2 hours?

Now Switzerland and France are giving points, and they are not in this semi?

Russia was one of the countries in the scores, but he said that he wasn't performing in this semi?

He is going to die to hypothermia before reaching the shore. Water is super cold if they are dressed like that.

Aand after saying that. Why they are dressed like that? It's supposed to be May? They were dressed like in the middle of winter when they were in Scotland. Even Northern Europe has spring in May.

 

Where are modulations? Wind Machine? Pyrotechnics?

How Finland is now in on final, when they didn't qualify from the semi WHERE THEY PERFORMED? Or where they moved to another semi? Was firs SF overbooked?

I don't know if this final confession would be allowed in Eurovision

And suddenly they changed the song?

Thank you, Graham Norton, for pointing them being disqualified.

So they had rulebook after all.

And everyone is like well this super basic ballad is so touching. I can most definitely name 50 similar songs

Language change, why.

Also, this movie had one ballad. That is the most unrealistic thing.

 

End thoughts

This whole movie seems like unnecessary prolonged version of this America Is So Winning Eurovision Next Year from The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. I can't even choose which one is more offensive.

Out of all European countries they chose Iceland and Greece (super popular tourist destinations), Russia (well you know US-Russia relations) and UK to be the center of the story. I guess it could have been Germany and France instead of Iceland and Greece to be more even more obviously “European”

Making the semi look at least somewhat correct could have been so easy. How it is even possible to mess that up so badly.

ALL EUROPEANS HAVE VERY STRONG ACCENTS!

Here is actor from UK, Sweden, and Greece! And all these Icelandic extras. Europeans!

Can we talk how problematic is the fact that 1) Will Farrell is 10 years older than Rachel McAdams (why Hollywood cannot cast actors that are same age and equally attractive?), 2) TWO attractive female characters are all over him like he’s the most amazing, charismatic and beautiful man in the Europe, 3) This movie isn’t passing Bechdel test

All the dick/incest/fart jokes are super American type of humour.

Billboard #1s 1966

Under the cut.

Simon And Garfunkel – “The Sound Of Silence” -- January 1, 1966

This song is beautiful and thoughtful and I love it. People apparently talk about its naivete, but it's more a sermon than a political tract. And, above all, it is gorgeous and interesting music.

The Beatles – “We Can Work It Out” -- January 8, 1966

You'd have a better chance of working it out if you weren't blaming the whole fight on the other person, Paul. But that's so often the case. Thinking you're the only one trying, when the other person is trying just as hard, and you're talking past each other. I really like John's interlude, which also makes me think he's the one fighting with Paul. It happened plenty. This isn't a top tier Beatles song, but it's good.

Petula Clark – “My Love” -- February 5, 1966

Her love is greater than any other great thing in all of the entire universe, apparently. Sunshine? Oceans? Stars? Nothing compared to how great she is at love. Petula Clark could always sing, but by the time the chorus comes around the second time, she sounds sort of embarrassed. She doesn't hit the notes with her normal confidence. It is a thoroughly embarrassing song.

Lou Christie – “Lightnin’ Strikes” -- February 19, 1966

Well I'm creeped out. This belongs a few years back, if it had to exist at all. It starts with "You're old enough to know the makings of a man" -- just how young is she? Young enough not to smack him with a brick when he tells her he just can't help but cheat on her since that's what men do, but she needs to stick around waiting for him and not do the same. If she does, he promises he'll marry her... eventually. Plus falsetto. I hate this song.

Nancy Sinatra – “These Boots Were Made For Walkin'” -- February 26, 1966

And this song is a good answer to it. Lyrically, it's the pinnacle of what a country song can do. "You keep thinking that you'll never get burned/ Ha!/ I just found me a brand new box of matches/ And what he knows you ain't had time to learn." The narrator's cheating scumbag whom she's in the process of dumping is so low, she's not even bothering to get angry with him. She's got a new, far hotter guy anyway. Musically, the instruments are themselves a Greek chorus making fun of the guy and heralding the singer's triumph. Love love love it.

Staff Sgt. Barry Sadler – “The Ballad Of The Green Berets” -- March 5, 1966

More machismo, but of the lawful rather than chaotic variety this time. This must have made a lot of people very angry at the time, but it also must have felt triumphant to a lot of others. "Fearless men who jump and die" -- that's not good! It's The Old Lie! A man dies because apparently that's just what Green Berets do, and his last request is that his son be a Green Beret too. For what? The song doesn't even say what they're fighting for! There's a line about dying for those oppressed, the same bullshit we've been fed for so long, but absolutely no details. Because it's a death cult. Oh, and the song is musically terrible too. This is horrific.

The Righteous Brothers – “(You’re My) Soul And Inspiration” -- April 9, 1966

It's another heartbreak song from The Righteous Brothers. She wants to leave, but she's his "soul and inspiration." I would like it better if it weren't a heartbreak song. It doesn't have to be. The chorus would go perfectly well with a song about how happy they are together. Meh.

The Young Rascals – “Good Lovin'” -- April 30, 1966

He says his doctor has prescribed "good lovin'". He's got the fever, you've got the cure. This could easily be creepy. It's not, because it's so fun. It's a seduction song where the seducer is trying to make his target laugh, which is the right tactic if you're light about it. Fun, good song.

The Mamas And The Papas – “Monday, Monday” -- May 7, 1966

John Philips was one of the worst people in pop music, and that's saying something. The Mamas and the Papas were a good group musically, though. This song is about how Mondays typically suck, but the narrator is happy because this Monday morning, his girlfriend is still here. And then Monday evening, she's left. He doesn't sound too upset. I find this song repetitive and boring.

Percy Sledge – “When A Man Loves A Woman” -- May 28, 1966

I don't like this song. Sledge's version is obviously better than Michael Bolton's, but the problem is the lyrics. The song doesn't say so directly, but the implication is that a man should never fall in love with a woman because she'll bring him nothing but pain. Nope.

The Rolling Stones – “Paint It Black” -- June 11, 1966

The song is about depression, specifically the depression coming from the sudden death of one's romantic partner. Which makes it a love song, in a way. It's rock, and it goes hard, and it's more achingly sad than thousands of schmaltzy songs about the same thing. It makes me cry every time. Amazing, heartbreaking song.

The Beatles – “Paperback Writer” -- June 25, 1966

This became a #1? It's mean and petty. Someone who has made it as thoroughly as it is possible to make it should not be scoffing at the little people trying to claw their way up. Musically it even sounds kinda half-assed, for the Beatles. Very much a lesser Beatles song.

Frank Sinatra – “Strangers In The Night” -- July 2, 1966

He and some woman were strangers in the night, but fell in love at first sight and became lovers, and are still together. I love the song. Sinatra was getting older, and that comes through -- his voice doesn't have the modulation and delicacy it did when he was younger. At the same time, that age gives the song a lot of heft and truth. "And ever since that night/ We've been together/ Lovers at first sight/ In love forever/ It turned out so right."

Tommy James And The Shondells – “Hanky Panky” -- July 16, 1966

His girlfriend fucks. And he shouts this fact to us over and over and over and over and... okay, look. I understand being thrilled with your first relationship in which you get sex. A lot of sex. A looooot of sex. But it's generally much more interesting to the people doing it than the people being told about it. Dull.

The Troggs – “Wild Thing” -- July 30, 1966

I don't understand anyone who doesn't start dancing, even just in their chair, when this song comes on. It's a rocking love n'sex jam with an ocarina in it. There is nothing not to love.

The Lovin’ Spoonful – “Summer In The City” -- August 13, 1966

This song comes down to: It's hot in the city during the day, but cooler at night, plus you can pick up chicks at night. The lyrics are a big nothing, but the music is great. Somehow the song got associated with the various protest movements happening at the time. Is that gonna happen with W.A.P.?

Donovan – “Sunshine Superman” -- September 3, 1966

It just occurred to me that R.E.M. may have been inspired to write "Superman" by this song. It's the same basic premise, except that unlike R.E.M., Donovan doesn't realize he's being egotistical to the point of being scary by saying he will use every trick in the book to get this girl. Well okay, "Donovan" and "scary" are tough to put in the same sentence. The song is musically great. Think about the lyrics for a minute, and they're disturbing. I don't really know what to do with this.

The Supremes – “You Can’t Hurry Love” -- September 10, 1966

"Love don't come easy/ It's a game of give and take." Yep. And if you do try to hurry it, you're likely to end up with one of the jerks from the first few Supremes hits. Normally I would say to avoid getting advice from pop songs, but I'll make an exception for "You Can't Hurry Love." This is a welcome evolution, and an excellent song.

The Association – “Cherish” -- September 24, 1966

Glurge. Such glurge, I thought this was a 70s song before now. I actually cannot listen to the whole song. The music hurts me somehow. So I read the lyrics to see what they are, and blurgh. It's about how he can't figure out how to say he wants her and none of the other guys really care for her and that's it I'm done. Atrociously bad.

The Four Tops – “Reach Out I’ll Be There” -- October 15, 1966

A phenomenal song. You need a hand to hold. Yes, you. And The Four Tops will be there for you. Huge numbers of pop songs -- a plurality, at least -- are sung to "you." But this one feels like it really is. Levi Stubbs is going to be there for you. And this song has been there for me throughout my life.

? And The Mysterians – “96 Tears” -- October 29, 1966

So, this guy renamed himself ?. I would expect a song that involved someone named ? to be much odder. Maybe it was at the time, though the organ sounds mostly like Baby Elephant Walk (though not as good.) ? speak-sings that he's gonna get the person who dumped him back, and then he's going to dump them, and they'll cry 96 tears. That is odd, admittedly. Why 96? That doesn't sound like very many. One good cry would probably do it. The organ is the most interesting thing about the song, which is sadly not nearly weird enough for the band's name.

The Monkees – “Last Train To Clarksville” -- November 5, 1966

One of my friends was a huge Monkees fan when we were teenagers. She was born in 1977. The Monkees were on Nick at Nite (I think), so I did see a few episodes. She watched them religiously. She insisted their music was great, and I was like... really? Sadly, I was snobbish about it, and entirely because the show was so doofy. Their music really was pretty damn good. Though this song sounds like the younger brothers of The Beatles trying to copy them. Still, they did a pretty good job of it.

Johnny Rivers – “Poor Side Of Town” -- November 12, 1966

The narrator's girl left him to be with a rich guy. The rich guy discarded her, so now she's back on the poor side of town. The narrator rubs it into her face for a verse and a half, but then he says that to him she's "the greatest thing", and he doesn't blame her for trying. By the end of the song, he says he and the girl will be able to make it together. The lyrics are good. Unfortunately, the music and singing are dull. Someone should take these lyrics and make a much better song out of them.

The Supremes – “You Keep Me Hangin’ On” -- November 19, 1966

For once, Diana Ross gets to be appropriately angry at a jerk. By the end of the song, she's commanding him to get out of her life. I have been where she is in this song, and it ties you up in knots. It deserves more of a full opera than a high-energy dance song. But this song is still great.

The New Vaudeville Band – “Winchester Cathedral” -- December 3, 1966

This is a British music hall song. Whether you like it will depend on whether you like that very singular genre. I do, in small doses. If it had been a #1 hit at any time when I was listening to radio, I'd have hated it. I can only identify "Winchester Cathedral" out of the lyrics, and the rest don't matter anyway. The song is fun and annoying in equal measure, and hearing it once every five years or so sounds about right.

The Beach Boys – “Good Vibrations” -- December 10, 1966

This is my favorite Beach Boys song. Musically, it's astonishing. It's the song that persuaded me of the "Brian Wilson is a genius" stuff I kept hearing. It also has much better lyrics than most Beach Boys songs, as they are like the lyrics of a typical pop song. Except with a lot more "om bop bop" and the word "excitations." It sounds like it's going to have a slow, soft fade-out, and then the main chorus comes roaring back. One of the great pop songs.

The Monkees – “I’m A Believer” -- December 31, 1966

I think this is the best Monkees song. He didn't believe in love, then he "saw her face", now he's a believer. Has he even talked to her? Doubtful. That's okay, it's not meant to be anything but a cheery pop song. The beginning guitar does sound sort of like George Harrison, but the rest of the song is a bit more distant from the Beatles than "Last Train to Clarksville." They sound like a confident, real pop group, though they weren't allowed to play the instruments on it, which most of them were not happy about. They still ended up participating in a memorable song.

BEST OF 1966: This one is hard. I was tempted to make it a tie between about a half dozen songs. I think I have to give it to "Paint it Black" though. Maybe. Then again, "I'll Be There" is a heartlifting titan. And "You Can't Hurry Love" is timeless and something more people need to hear. And "Good Vibrations" is a musical triumph. Then there's "The Sound of Silence." And... discuss amongst yourselves. WORST OF 1966: No question. "Ballad of the Green Berets." Nothing in any year is worse.

when the party’s over

“Oh my god, Grayson! That’s so funny!” the painfully high-pitched squeal permeates the thin wall between their bedrooms. “Uh, yeah I guess it is, Lindsey.” she can hear him laugh almost uncomfortably. “You’re so funny!” “I’m glad you think so, have you-” Y/n can’t stick any more, throwing her measly pillow over her head and burying her face into the bedsheets. This has become the norm; listening to Grayson attempt to coax some form of conversation out of the girls he’d bring home from frat parties, cringing at their lack of response and praying to every mentally conceivable diety that they would just shut up.

Grayson Dolan knows these walls are thin. He’d stood in his room with the door closed and managed to have a lengthy discussion with y/n about that week’s weather predictions through the pathetic plasterwork on the day they’d moved in. He knows she can hear him. Part of her wants to think that maybe Grayson’s assuming that she’s a heavy sleeper, that she dozed off halfway through reading Anna Karenina because he knows how much she despises Tolstoy’s seemingly interminable passages about agriculture. But this is Grayson and y/n knows that she’s the last thing on his blatantly preoccupied mind. He’s got Lindsey all up in his business and that’s far more of a priority than y/n’s eight hours of rest. She understands this now.

It’s not even that late. She had been surprised when she’d heard the key turn in the lock and the reverberations of drunken stumbles that traveled into his room. Grayson usually stays out late on Saturdays. He revels in the sweaty closeness of fraternity dancefloors and is resident Keg King of Delta Beta Gamma and therefore has no reason to want to come home until the despondent early hours of the morning. Lindsey must have changed his mind. Y/n had tried to put a face to her voice, but it was indistinguishable. She couldn’t determine whether that made things better or worse. Y/n thinks that she has blonde hair, just because she sounds like she does, and maybe blue eyes. Lindsey’s probably really pretty because Grayson is also really pretty and pretty people have a tendency to attract pretty people. Y/n doesn’t understand why she’s making herself feel sick. This happens every week, you’d think maybe she’d consider investing in earplugs. But with each Saturday that rolls around y/n has to stamp on the embers of hope that maybe Grayson won’t bring home a girl this time. Their voices have become inaudible murmurs, but Lindsey’s squeaks are still definable. Y/n screws her eyes shut, willing sleep to overtake her queasy body before she starts crying. But not over Grayson. Y/n’s determined to never let Grayson Dolan be the source of her tears. They’re friends, have been seen Orientation Week and will continue to be provided that nothing catastrophic intervenes. He’d asked her to move into an apartment with Ethan, his brother, and Cassie one of their close friends during the second year. Y/n assumed that living with Grayson would be relatively easy, considering they’d been so close for the first year. But closeness sometimes transpires into an intense feeling of attachment, or maybe something that stretches beyond that. Y/n is certain she has no feelings that could be deemed romantic for Grayson. This is mostly because he is Grayson; the boy that projectile vomited onto her brand new converse at his first college party. He’d apologized profusely and y/n had forgiven him almost instantaneously having watched him be coerced into taking far too many shots that night. Grayson just wanted to fit in.

Grayson is no more than an annoyingly attractive, overly sentimental best friend. He loves a lot and is loved just as much, if not more. Y/n thinks this is a curse wrapped neatly in blessing-covered wrapping paper. He’s too lovable and people sometimes decide to monopolize on this. She wants to protect him from those that want to be near him for the sake of saying they’d been near him, from the girls that’ll string a web of perfect lies to end up in his bed. Y/n can see right through. She can also hear right through, being able to decipher every Saturday night or Sunday morning conversation he has. Y/n knows that Grayson wants more than sex, she can hear him beg for some kind of interesting debate or a conversation that surpasses the trivialities he’s given in reply. She forces herself to sleep before she hears any more, dreading to think what hearing him actually doing it would make her feel.

Y/n doesn’t want Grayson, but thinking about him being with someone else is almost agonizing. She assumes it’s just a jealous fad because he’s her best friend and she wants to be his best friend too. Yet introspectively, y/n understands that Grayson is far more than a friend. He’s never really been a friend. He eclipsed the point at which friendship seems an appropriate term to label their relationship. They’d met at Orientation Week, stumbling into one another as they drifted from stall to stall that had been set up in the Student Union. Grayson wanted to speak to the lacrosse team and y/n had wanted to ask a question - which looking back seemed incredibly inconsequential - to the student finance team when they collided. A string of apologies and a few snide comments about the state of their timetables later, they’d become friends. Things stayed that way for a while until fraternity parties suddenly existed and the need to get blackout inebriated transcended every academic priority. Grayson had spotted y/n across the living room of some frat house Ethan knew the name of one night. He’d staggered over to her with his vision swimming and a gratifying numbness weighing down his limbs.

“Y/n!” he slurred, catching himself on one of the damp walls as he tripped over his own feet, “Didn’t expect to see you here.” “Hi, Grayson,” she laughed at his sudden ability to look perfectly composed, “You having fun?” “Nah, not really,” he lied, “Just been looking for you all night.” “Oh really?” y/n wasn’t stupid. “Yeah, so happy you’re here, y/n. Makin’ my dreams come true!” “Whatever you say.” “Not even joking! Not even a little! You’re the funniest person here, except for Ethan and I’m funny too sometimes! But you’re witty, y/n. I like witty people.” “That’s cool.” He threw a ridiculously muscular arm over her shoulders and pulled her into his chest, placing a kiss to the crown of her head, “You’re so precious, y/n.”

Y/n quickly became Grayson’s favorite person to accidentally run into at parties, he’d always get up onto his tiptoes and scan the room in search for her. She’d always wear the prettiest dresses or the cutest little tops with her favorite pair of jeans. He’d always wear dress pants stolen from Ethan or khakis and really soft t-shirts that she’d always have her face pressed into when he’d greet her. That was their thing, being around each other when they were drunk. Sometimes he was worse than she was, stumbling falteringly around the place with her arm wrapped around his waist to keep him from toppling over. Other times she’d be stood in front of him, his arms wrapped around her middle and her head lolling back onto his shoulder as they stood outside watching their friends of friends puff little rings of smoke into the night air.

“I think it’s always gonna be me and you, y’know?” he mumbled one night after they’d escaped the third playing of Rack City to join the stoners in the garden of some random senior’s house. “Yeah?” she’d hiccupped in reply. “Yep, always gravitate towards you and you towards me. I don’t ever see us not being...” then he stopped speaking. He knew what he was about to say but he didn’t want to say it. Y/n was far too intoxicated to understand the situation, “Besties?” “Yeah, that’s it. Besties.” Every night had ended the same. Grayson would lead her to her group of friends, whispering a joke or sarcastic comment into her ear. “Call me when you’re back safe, yeah?” he’d always ask. 

Until he didn’t.

Y/n isn’t too sure at what point Grayson changed. Drunken giggles have deteriorated into friendly acknowledgments when they run into each other in fraternity kitchens. She’s still his best friend, they laugh together at Ethan’s pathetic attempts at DIY. They go out for breakfast at the cafe at the end of their street every Friday morning. She proofreads his essays and he quizzes her with flashcards. It’s this unspoken yet mutually recognized affair that festers under the surface of every sentence they speak to one another. Ethan and Cassie have noticed it too. Y/n and Grayson are close but not close enough. From the outside, everything looks normal; they could be snuggled under a blanket on the couch watching a travel documentary one evening but as soon as y/n leaves Grayson visibly tenses. When he’s doing the dishes and y/n walks into the kitchen for a bottle of water, she lifts up her hands as if to hug him from behind, hesitates, and leaves. Y/n doesn't know it but things shifted about a month into their second year of college. It was a Tuesday, which is usually uneventful compared to most days of the week. Grayson was sprawled out on the couch playing solitaire when the front door had opened. Y/n had sauntered into the living room followed by a rather tall lanky looking boy with tousled brown hair and glasses that made him look like he could quote Nietzsche verbatim. "Gray, this is Nat." she declared excitedly, her red tea dress flowing about her thighs with the soft blows of the fan he'd set up, "He's helping me with that Lit module I was telling you about." Grayson looked up from his virtual card game and grimaced, lifting his hand into an understated wave, "Hey, man." "Hi," Nat had said with what Grayson liked to think was a disgustingly patronizing smirk, "This is a nice place you've got." "Thanks-" "Nat's a senior, Gray." y/n had interrupted breathlessly, turning to look at the older boy with a grin Grayson wished he had caused, "He's majoring in Literature and Philosophy. Joint honors!" "That's dope." Grayson nodded along, not being able to comprehend why y/n was so enthralled. "Thank you, y/n here is quite the enthusiast." Nat chuckled, wrapping his arm around y/n's shoulders and pulling her to his side. That was Grayson's thing. "I can't help it! We're gonna go work now, see you later!" she'd taken the senior by his arm and lead him out of the living room. "Enjoy solitaire!" Nat had called over his shoulder.

This was a feeling Grayson wasn't that accustomed to. This was a new burning sensation that pulsed through his veins. He felt his jaw clench and his thumbs ran over the white of his knuckles. This epiphany had struck Grayson in waves, the first being anger. He couldn't understand why his best friend was enraptured with Nietzsche 2.0 and didn't want to analyze him even further to try and it out. It was in this moment that Grayson understood that y/n wasn't really his, nor was he y/n's. Of course, they were best friends and would always have an affinity for one another. That was a given at this point, wherever she was is where he wanted to be. But, in being friends they were offered the option of mixing with other people, having other people.

The concept of being with a girl hadn't crossed Grayson's mind all year until y/n had waltzed in with Nat. Subconsciously he must have assumed that he and y/n would eventually see sense and become romantically exclusive because he's certain there's nobody else that will ever eclipse her. Grayson now made the conscious decision to let y/n breathe, because clearly, that's what she wanted to do. So Grayson Dolan distanced himself from his best friend, calculating his every gesture or word towards her or every thought about her, making them strictly platonic. He figured this was best for them, to avoid him being hurt by y/n making new connections and taking his anger out on their friendship. Because that's all this was; a friendship. Regardless of the way she looked at him when her eyes were glazed over with drunkenness or the way she'd laugh at one of his cheesy jokes he'd read off a pack of cookies or the way he constantly wanted to be around her, they were friends. Y/n didn't notice these changes at first. She was so absorbed in her schoolwork and papers that days merged into weeks and fitting in hours of sleep became a challenge. Grayson was still part of her life, as were Ethan and Cassie, so things felt blissfully normal. Until she got invited to a party at one of the fraternities the twins knew relatively well. Ethan and Grayson had arrived earlier than her and Cass, so she was expecting to find her lumbering, tipsy mess of a best friend when she got there. However, Grayson was nowhere to be found. He wasn't on the dancefloor begging whoever was in charge of the aux chord to just play one Kid Cudi song, even if it was Day 'n' Nite. She couldn't find him in the kitchen handing out water bottles to the freshmen boys that looked worse for wear. Y/n even searched upstairs, walking in on many an intimate encounter. "E! Where is he?" She'd yelled over the pounding EDM music when she'd spotted his twin. "He's gone home," Ethan had winced before he disclosed the last morsel of information, "He's taken a girl home." Y/n was in shock. Grayson didn't take girls home. He stayed until the party was over then stumbled into her bedroom with a glass of water at five in the morning, begging for a cuddle. Y/n had forgotten that Gray wanted other girls. It is impossible to disregard the fact other girls want Grayson. Their eyes follow him wherever he goes, watching his every effortless move with sheer awe. He’s gorgeous and funny and kind and she knows that’s what makes him so undeniably attractive to everyone around him. But never once did it occur to her that maybe Grayson wanted other people as much as they want him.

That was the first night y/n heard almost every word that was shared next door to her when she’d returned home after throwing up in the seedy bathroom of the fraternity. She’d put on her earphones and forced herself not to think about what was occurring on the other side of the plaster. Y/n hadn’t cried that night, she is still strangely proud of it. Little does she know that the last thing Grayson Dolan wants to do with the girls he brings home is to sleep with them. He wants to want to. He wants to stop comparing their every detail to y/n’s because she’s unattainable and too good to be his. Grayson feels sick every time a girl tried to initiate anything with him, apologizing profusely and explaining that it’s not her, it’s him. He feels like a dick. Yet every Saturday night without fail, the girl he brought home leaves quietly through the front door after he calls her a cab and tells her that she’ll find Mr. Right eventually.

“Lindsey,” he says after a while of awkward silence, “I’m not in the mood for anything tonight.” “I kinda guessed,” the brunette girl sat beside him on his bed laughs softly. “I’m so sorry-” “Jesus, Grayson don’t apologize!” He turns to look at her, his eyes filled with exhaustion, “Thank you for understanding it’s just I-” “I know.” “Sorry?” “You like someone else, it’s obvious. It’s ok, I get it.” Grayson doesn’t have the energy to argue, he’s tired of pretending. “I’ll call a cab.” Lindsey smiles, elbowing him gently in the ribs. “No, I’ll get you an Uber.” he reaches for his phone. “Thanks, Grayson.” “No worries.”

There’s an awkward silence as he fiddles with the brightness of his screen because it’s making his eyes sore. “She loves you too,” Lindsey says, “Everyone can see it.” “Huh?” “Don’t play dumb. The way she looks at you says it all.” “Things are a bit too complicated right now.”

“Only when you get in your own way.”

Ok! So this was a little random lovechild of mine that sort of spawned from songs that kinda make me a bit emo. It definitely feels like a part one of something to me. Hope you enjoyed it! Exam season is just around the corner and if any of you are from the UK, you’ll be aware of the insufferable pain that is A-Level induced. I’m going to try and balance writing and studying though, just because it’s so rewarding seeing all your support and getting lovely little messages from you all! So thank you so much! Lots of love - K x

dan and phil play keep talking and nobody explodes: a summary

hoodie!phil i am immediately enthralled and this video isn't even a second in yet "you da bomb of our lives" they keep clothes fans give them which is nice shoutout to that lucky son of a gun 'philly' phil is insistent on everyone seeing speed supportive boyf dan has his back dan nudged phil's arm in a bro-esque manner they mentioned escape rooms finally i can relate as i have now been to one too "i think we're a lot nerdier than we think" why do they think we refer to them as nerds all the time "rest in peace environment" / "fuck you trees" "i'll punch you if you look at this" going to provide no context there have fun "DAD.... playing halo with me" nice save dan the wholesome howell blanket is always on hand "they'll see if we do a single glance..." how is dan going to go a whole extra seventeen minutes without glancing at phil i think he's going to implode they already did the tutorial but didn't show us yet phil can't remember the title of the game wow rip nerd!phil fic trope "this is going to be a mistake" "i can't speak if i'm under some kind of situation" mister english degree back again phil spinning dan around with those sweet sweet seconds of skin to skin contact (hand to arm) also lowkey hand porn look at his hands the curly hair and shaved sides from the side profile makes my heart warm sassy hand clicks from danny "beginnu" five seconds in i am already stressed for them why is this already the most intense video of this game i've ever seen i've watched like six different channels play it "there's, there's-" "no phil, i'm guiding you." someone likes to take control don't they during the wire puzzle you can slowly watch dan get more stressy look at his pursed lips and expressive strict hand gestures "there's an alien man with a triangle head and he's got a T coming out of his neck" their best friend mind meld really needs to come in handy here i'm still really enjoying dan's side profile i can't get over it "that's you selecting the module you dork" "guys we're nailing this" i was going to make the obvious joke but i won't we're classy here "shut up shut up SHUT UP" stressy dan is here to stay they did one wow who says youtube gamers can't game screw you comments "what everyone out there is thinking now is we need you to get the manual, phil" i think dan honey you just want to be in control again i know that was hard for you getting their last glances at each other in before they can't for at least five minutes opposite sides again why has this happened two videos after one another this is weird what is the post-baking video universe coming to "this is weird. now you're the person with the really bright face... wow it makes my hair look so much less white now that i'm here" "it makes my hair look grey... i promise i don't have grey hair" honey you're thirty years old it's going to happen inevitably sometime soon best to break us in gently i'm hyped for side profile phil dan quoting the marriage mantra of something old something new etc.... foreshadowing perhaps who knows with the way 2017 phan is going phil looks so confused he's like me facing every exam i've ever taken i've been cheated out of side profile phil ffs dan get your hands on him and spin him around i feel attacked "oh shit new stuff" literally everyone every few days when they upload a new gaming vid with no warning????? they know our struggle???? phil looks so focused i'm entranced "ayeeeeeeee" "oh god it's hurting my brain so much" stressy phil is a new experience but i'm digging it dan being the little shit he is just laughs all the time "stop freaking out!" stressy dan is still here despite having the opposite role they did two attempts and won them both wow they high fived yes for more skin to skin contact phil is reeeealllly making up for lost time by shamelessly staring at dan like seriously that was at least a solid six seconds of him staring oh and more glances i get it you're in love "kept calm under presh" more staring seriously phil are you aware the camera is still rolling "i hate to alarm you phil but what is your catchphrase on this gaming channel?" *awkward silence whilst phil realises he's being spoken to thus has to tear his gaze away* "ALL OR NOTHING" *resumes staring* seriously what is with him today subtlety ain't in his vocabulary p h i l i get it you're in love oh now dan's at it dan just got super close to the camera and did that creepy smile he has i was unnerved "i'm frickin terrified as diddly heck" they're back on their own sides balance in the universe has been destroyed do you reckon they're as insistent about which side of the bed they sleep on side profile dan is back welcome back old friend i missed you i thought he dabbed for a second but it's okay he didn't they're determined as fuck but i can already see dan's stressing yep there's the hurry up hand gestures "i'm going to explode.... literally" because of the intensity or because he can't stare at phil i don't even know anymore u decide dan's eyes just got really really wide they were like bulging "is the button yellow?" "no it's blue i told you it's blue!" welcome back stressy phil i hope you had a nice break phil's little "ooh" is so cute i want it as my ringtone "we did it? oh christ" stressy dan is really coming out to play in this symbols puzzle isn't he phil's expressive hand gestures aka he's beginning to panic too dan's doing some kind of gang sign okay boy you do you aaaaand there's the deafening dan scream for this video i can't believe we lasted a whole 17 minutes and 40 seconds without one rip headphone users it was nice knowing you stressy dan has never been more present phil is surprisingly calm(er) "dan come on" all of us all the time oooooh they couldn't last five minutes without a quick glance at one another could they jfc get a room they managed with three seconds to spare phil is giggly and dan is..... well, dan dramatic as ever my little actor that never was phil initiates skin to skin contact again why am i not surprised anymore "i was winding you up" dan says as he adds flames on top of himself in editing i am nodding furiously the camera pans back out and phil's hood is up who even is he "we could have died!" "but we didn't" *dan adds a halo above his head aka can't relate* "see if i worked in bomb disposal, i'd be cheeky like that" your colleagues would throw a bomb in bed with you "i'd be like ooh what's the timer steve???" the danxsteve fic coming atcha real soon dan's in an obnoxiously good mood now he has won a game and can freely stare at phil again "we could be bomb disposal experts" again expect the fic coming atcha real soon "what you just saw was two nerds that grew up playing puzzle games that have a psychic connection because they have no other friends defusing bombs" they literally said they go to escape rooms for their friends birthdays but alright i'll take the exclusivity they're considering coming back in hard mode YES I NEED THIS again i could have made the obvious joke there but i didn't let them know how you felt throughout that video type out long essays i dare you "subscribe if you're happy you didn't explode" "if you want to see us do that more challenging version where we might blow up... or not 'cause we're the best... disposers ever" "subscribe to us, have a good day, don't explode" the best advice comes in threes danisnotexploding AmazingBombDisposer