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Mithrun's desire as an SA analogue

TW discussion of SA and detailed breakdown of aesthetics evoking SA. The way I discuss this is vivid in a way that may be triggering, though there is no discussion of actual sexual assault. Just survivor's responses to it.

People relate to Mithrun and see his condition as an analogue for a few different things, like brain injury or depression. And I think all of them are there. But I also see Mithrun's story as an SA analogue, and Ryoko Kui intentionally evokes those aesthetics. I think it's a part of Mithrun's character that a lot of people miss, but I very much consider it text. This is partially inspired by @heird99's post on what makes this scene so disturbing; so check out their post, too :)

So to start off with, the demon invades Mithrun's bed, specifically. There's even a canopy around it, which specifically evokes this idea of personal intrusion; the barrier is being pulled apart without consent or warning. The way the hand reaches towards Mithrun's body from outside of the panel division makes it almost look like the goat stroking over his body. It's an especially creepy visual detail; similarly, the goat's right hand parts into the side of the panel as well. It's literally like it's tearing the page apart; but gently. So gently.

Mithrun is in bed. It is his bed that the demon is intruding on. He's in a position of intimacy. The woman behind him is a facsimile of his "beloved" that he left behind; the woman who, in reality, chose Mithrun's brother. He is in bed with his fantasy lover, who is leaning over him. While this scene isn't explicitly sexual, it is intimate. And it is being invaded. The goat lifts Mithrun gently, who is confused, but not yet struggling.

The erotics of consumption and violence in Ryoko Kui's work(remember that the word 'erotic' can have many different meanings, please) are a... notable part of some of her illustrations. I would say she blurs the lines between all forms of desire: personal, sexual, gustatory and carnal, in her illustrations in order to emphasize the pure desire she wants to work with and evoke to serve her themes. Kui deploys sexual imagery in a lot of places in Dungeon Meshi, and this is one of them.

In this case, horrifically. The goat's assault begins with drooling, licking, and nuzzling. The goat could be enjoying and "playing with" its food. But it can also be interpreted as it "preparing" Mithrun with its tongue as it begins to literally breach Mithrun's body. The goat also invades directly through his clothing; that adds another level of disturbing to me. There's nothing Mithrun can do in this moment of violation. Mithrun is fighting, but he is fighting weakly, trying to grip on and push away when he has no ability or option to. All he can do is beg the goat to stop. And it doesn't care. This all evokes sexual assault.

The sixth panel demonstrates a somewhat sexual position, with Mithrun's thighs spread around the goat's hunched over body. In the next, the goat pulls and holds apart Mithrun's thighs as he nuzzles into him. The way the clothing bunches up looks a bit as if it has been pushed up. It has pinned Mithrun down onto the bed, into Mithrun's soft furs and pillows. It takes a place made to be supernaturally warm and comfortable, and violates it. It's utterly and intimately horrifying. To me, this sequence of positions directly evokes a rape scene. I think Kui did this very explicitly. These references to sexual invasion are part of what makes this scene so disturbing; albeit, to many viewers, subconsciously.

This is also the moment the goat takes Mithrun's eye. Other than this, the goat seems exceptionally strong, but also... gentle. It holds Mithrun's body tightly, but moves it around slowly. It doesn't need to hurt Mithrun physically. But in that moment, it takes Mithrun's eye. Blood seeps from a wound while an orifice that should not be pierced is penetrated. This moment, the ooze of blood in one place specifically, also evokes rape. That single bit of physical gore is a very powerful bit of imagery to me.

Finally; it is Mithrun's desire that is eaten. After his assault, Mithrun can find no pleasure in things that he once did. He is fully disassociated from his emotions. This is a common response to trauma, especially in the case of SA. It's not uncommon for people to never, or take a long time to, enjoy sex in the same way again; or at all. They might feel like their rapist has robbed them of a desire and pleasure they once had. I think this makes Mithrun's lack of desire a partial analogue for the trauma of sexual assault.

Mithrun's desire for revenge was, supposedly, all that remained. Anger at his assaulter, anger at every being that was like it; though, perhaps not anger. Devotion, in a way. To his cause. I don't know. But the immediate desire to seek revenge is another response to SA. But on to Mithrun's true feelings on the matter.

This is... So incredibly tragic. Mithrun feels used up. Like his best parts have been taken away. Like he's being... tossed aside. This certainly parallels the way assault victims can feel after being left by an abuser. Or the way assault victims feel they might be "ruined" forever for other partners. These are common sentiments for survivors to carry, and need to overcome. In the text, it's almost like Mithrun feels the only being who can desire him is a demon who might "finish devouring" him. That that's his only use. It's worth noting that Mithrun trusted the demon. Mithrun's world was built by the demon, and Mithrun, in that way, was cared for by the demon. I think this reinforces Mithrun's place as a victim.

There's also something to be said about Mithrun as a victim of his own possessive romantic and sexual desire. The mirror shows him his beloved just dining with his brother, and it infuriates him. He doesn't know if the vision is real, nor if she has really chosen his brother as a romantic partner. The goat then creates a whole fantasy world where she loves him. As Mithrun's dungeon deteriorates, she is the only person that continues to exist. Mithrun continues to have control over her. And that is the strongest desire the demon is eating, isn't it? There's something interesting there, but I don't know what to say about it.

In conclusion, I think Mithrun's story is an explicit analogue for sexual assault-- though, certainly, among other things! The way the scene plays out and is composed explicitly references sexual violation and invasion of the body. His condition mirrors common trauma responses to sexual violence. And, at the end, he finally realizes he can recover.

Let's end on a happy Mithrun, after taking the first step on his journey to recovery :) You aren't vegetable scraps Mithrun. But even if you were-- every single thing in this world has value. Even vegetable scraps.

I love Bruce's GIANT wife

that last ask about alien grian also finally got me to figure out something for pearl's wings, i think those funky bright things look kinda fitting? i tried to combine something alien / unearthy looking and the shape of moth wings; idk how they work really or where are they growing from or if they even do grow naturally. i guess i do want them to be unnaturally natural and more fleshy-feeling, like, changing and growing and expanding in ways that don't seem normal but also aren't inherently magical? so, alien, okay. and i guess if they are natural then pearl has some zippers in the back or some other functional thing for when she doesn't have the wings out. ye

i haven't shared much of my headcanons through text for a while, it's mostly been through art and random hints, but this is fun sometimes

anyways, a little doodle

bound

ahem.

you said something about soft moments with katsuki. so. take this

tw: ageplay, daddy kink, small headspaces. okie bye bunny!

it was always a lot harder to sleep when katsuki had late night patrols, and it wasn’t like he didn’t check up on you regularly, there just wasn’t anything that could top his presence being right there with you. he had called about three hours prior, just to keep you company while you handled your nighttime routine all by yourself, his big girl. he talked to you about his day while you went potty, reminded you to brush your teeth (all of them) and let you read a bedtime story to him since he couldn’t be there to read it to you.

“thatta’ girl. i damn near fell asleep listening to that cute lil voice of yours.”

you had giggled at his tease, scolded him for swearing, and sighed softly when he had to say goodnight. yet here you were, still awake in your bed that he built himself, the wooden bars of the makeshift crib caging you in, your nightlight twinkling stars on your ceiling, your sound box playing sounds of nature to sooth you. you were still wide awake, thoughts of how deep and tired katsuki’s voice had sounded over the phone, rough and rumbling, stirring something mean in your tummy. it was all in knots, your thighs clenching together at the sudden ache between your legs. you missed him, all of your body did, and you bit back a whine when you caved and shoved the small bear you were clinging to between your legs. uncertainty bloomed within you as you gave an experimental rock forward, a shiver running up your spine. it was nothing compared to your daddy’s thigh, but it was all you had at the moment.

it did nothing to sooth you, in fact it just made your situation more uncomfortable now that you were all sticky between your legs. it was hopeless but your little brain could only think to keep going, katsuki had made pleasing you seem easy. you were so lost in your chase to pleasure that you hadn’t noticed him slipping into your bedroom, shucking off his outer gear, a small smile playing on his lips.

god he was tired, but seeing you up to no good was sure waking him up.

“aren’t you supposed to be sleeping, angel?”

you jump at the sound of his voice but instantly whip around to see him, a small pout playing on your lips, the toy clutched tight against your clothed core.

“daddy…it hurts.”

“oh yeah?” he spoke softly, lowering the bars to your bed and climbing in with you, he plucked the stuffie from between your clenched thighs with a shuddered breath, “open up, let daddy see.”

you nuzzle up to him, spreading your legs nice and wide so he could access, even in the dim lighting he could see the way a wet patch was blooming on the seat of your panties. he gave a sympathetic hum, brushing a knuckle against your swollen bud.

“couldn’t sleep, princess?”

you shook your head, keening when his thumb moved to massage your clit, nice firm circles that made your mouth gape in awe. “your voice…sounded good, made my tummy hurt.”

he ignored how your statement made his cock jump in his pants, opting to slip your ruined panties to the side, groaning at your puffy cunt all glazed over with your juices. he ran one finger along your entrance, curling it inside of you gently.

“that’s no good, daddy knows a way to fix that tummy ache. it’s probably just too empty, huh?”

you blink at him, already fluttery with just one finger stretching you out.

“what’s that mean,” you mumble, “i’m not hungry..”

he chuckled at your words, “i know baby, but daddy has other ways of filling you up, remember?”

oh. oh…

taking it and running bc i have a need.

SO interesting tho how we never see stede question even for a second if ed has been faking their friendship. he takes the whole murder thing in stride, like a little nervous when he’s like “is that uh. still on the cards??” but the second ed is like “no” stede is like “oh thank god” and then INSTANTLY is ready to reassure ed that he’s his friend. this is kinda an insane trait of stede that carries through the whole show: despite his insecurities and friendless backstory and the way he very anxiously put together a whole treasure hunt to try and seem cool enough for ed to hang out with, he is often very ready to believe that ed cares about him. i’m thinking abt his letters to ed and the way when he realizes he’s in love he’s instantly like “ok gotta go be with ed now farewell” and even after ed literally breaks up with him he responds to ed telling him he loves him with “i know” because he DOES!!!! even when he’s postponing his reunion he’s not even like “i’m afraid you no longer love me” he’s worried ed might be better off without him like it’s the same thing that had him running away from chauncey, he’s more worried that being with him might hurt ed than he is worried that ed no longer feels the same way!!! THIS IS INSANE TO ME

stede bonnet said rlly said “unrequited feelings? rip to u guys but ed and i are built different. the reason our relationship might not work out isnt bc of having different feelings for each other. it’s bc I’m A Monstah And A Plague”

I’m torn between two equally amusing characterizations for the “Garcia is Mr. Clown” theory

which btw is FUCKIN BACK BABY HAHAHAHAHAHA

The (literal) virgin Warden vs chad Warden-Commander.

My initial experience going from Origins to Awakening. 😎 Oh I'm sure I'll get my butt handed to me as I progress further but for now I'm savoring my OP-ness.

Putting my arm around you seems very normal. I'm just gonna do... that.

some more trolls doodles!! kind of wips tbh... let's see if i can ever get em finished lolll

no filter version (which looks a million times better tbh)

@blupjeansweek May 31: Loss

I am SO sorry