cw: this got long sorry 😔 but creepy/perv bakugou, recording, film major bkg x art major reader, masturbation, coercion, dubcon before it just becomes con, voyeurism/exhibitionism
as an art major, you typically did some works for a few students on campus; for their plays, as background pieces while they danced, a cover for their released songs. it wasn’t out of the ordinary for people to ask you to create something for them, and you enjoyed it more often than not. but, you weren’t usually the art itself.
Bakugou is a friend’s friend that you’ve seen a few times, ran into at the library or at coffee shops. he’s a film major, and always looks so unhappy about the whole thing, as if he didn’t choose it himself. you joke to Mina that you think he’ll graduate and become one of those directors that hate everything and yell at the actors constantly and later on get sued for being a dickhead. you never say it to him though—you’ve never spoken more than a couple words to the man.
it’s why it shocks you when he approaches you one day. it’s after one of your painting classes, and he stands outside the door with a frown and his hands shoved in his pockets, his eyebrows scrunched as if pissed at the mere sight of you. he asks you, in that low and gruff tone of his, if you could star in his final project for the semester. says it’s supposed to be a film made with this criteria and that, but, you’ve kind of checked out on the conversation after the first sentence.
“You mean, you want me to create something and that be the star of your film?” you ask him, feeling so intimidated at his stature. he always seems to loom, his hair shadowing the lights above, creates a cast over a portion of his face, makes his eyes look…unsettling. like they’re looking straight through your flesh, can find the marrow in your bones. he scoffs like you’ve offended him, rolling his eyes into his skull, mouth pulled tight.
“No.” his voice is firm, gaze concentrated only on you, like the halls are empty and you’re the focus of his lens. “I want you to star in it.”
his words confuse you—you’ve never presented yourself as an actor before, never alluded to wanting to be in the spotlight if not for what you create with your hands. but he shuffles on his feet, looks desperate even. there’s some hemming and hawing for a minute or so—why not choose Mina?—she’s busy—why choose me?—‘cause you’d be perfect for my short film—what’s it about?—you’ll find out once you get the script.
and even after you hesitantly agree and get the script—you still don’t understand what you’re doing. why you’re here, why you’re the only person, why it has to be a solo film, why there’s damn near zero lines in the entirety of the have-to-be forty five minute film.
the scenes are all so long, and maybe it’s because movies aren’t your forte or chosen major, but you just don’t get it. one scene; you’re staring at yourself in the mirror while Bakugou holds a small, black camera over your shoulder. he’s eerily quiet behind you, whispers out a faint fuckin’ go when you have to wash your face in the sink, makes you do it over because your movements are too jerky and unnatural.
the rest of the scenes go that way; you doing regular at home activities, being put under a lens, quietly barked at to do this and move that way and fix your hair and remember to frown.
“Isn’t there another way to film this?” you ask him on the fifth day of shooting in his spacious loft. there’s a bubble bath scene coming up, one you dont understand the importance of, but Bakugou tells you it’s the most necessary part of the entire thing.
“No,” he grunts out, looking at you from under his lashes as he sits on the lid of the toilet. “But I’ll make it soapy, so the camera won’t see much.” the camera? much? you weren’t worried so much about what the camera captured as you were the man behind it. he looks at you with such intensity, you feel naked already despite the robe you wear that’s suspiciously already your size.
he leaves the bathroom when you sink in the hot water, returns before you can say it’s okay, hears the water splashing and thinks that’s good enough. he kneels on the floor beside you, camera pointed directly in your face, makes your chest hot and your skin feel prickly. the scene passes on regularly enough; you run the water over your arms, tilt your head back as you sigh, whisper the few lines scripted, lean back and close your eyes, sigh again. it’s almost relaxing, makes you forget about the friend of a friend recording you naked right now. almost.
“Touch yourself.” Bakugou suddenly demands, hushed and quiet behind the camera. your eyes immediately shoot open, looking to him in question, how he’s eerily still in his spot hovering over you.
“Huh?” you ask, unsure if you heard him correctly, looking around the rounded lens in your face, trying to ignore the red blinking light. but Bakugou only frowns.
“It’s a masturbation scene. Touch yourself.” he repeats, voice louder, more demanding this time. your stomach twists at the thought of doing something so intimate in front of him. he’s a handsome guy, for sure, even made you consider asking him out after this, figured he was just serious about his work and awkward about certain things. but…something had been off about this entire thing since the start.
“But—but I don’t, I’m not,” you stutter, sitting up a little, the bubbles covering your chest starting to disperse with your movements. but Bakugou only sits a little higher on his knees, finally pulling the camera away from his face for the first time since he’s asked you to do this for him.
“You want me to fail?” he asks, booming voice eerily quiet in the silent bathroom, carmine eyes dull, shaded over with something terrible. “Then do it.” he tells you when you shake your head quickly.
you stare at him until he gets back into position again, camera back pointed at you. when he doesn’t say anything else, you swallow thickly, wondering if the art that will come out of this will be worth it. so you listen, sneak a hand under the water, start touching yourself in a way you never have in front of anyone.
is it bad to say that it’s exhilarating? being watched and recorded by someone who breathes so heavily every time your voice hiccups? being directed to touch your chest next when the suds start to disappear and your nipples start to peek through? is it bad that you want him to send you this portion of his film, only, just so you can watch yourself again and again? make a portrait of yourself with your fingers on your nipples and your knees raising from the water and your head thrown back from the intensity in oil pastels?
“That’s a wrap.” Bakugou announces when you finish, head spinning and still panting. you look over to him, how he closes the camera, the obvious bulge in his pants. “I’ll get you a towel.”
you wonder when’s the next time he’ll need you. or better yet—maybe he could be the star in your final drawing project? you had finished it already but, what was the harm in starting over with him as your muse? as naked as you are? camera not blocking his face so you can paint the similarities of his blushing cheeks and eyes when you direct him to look at you? to touch his chest? to play with himself just like that?
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🤠
So, among the Starlight/FFIX tangents I want to tan and gent over the coming week, I figured I'd start off with this one.
(Since it has some more spooky elements, apt for spooky season.~)
TL;DR:
It's more or less just another tangent on me realizing how Sal or any other Ethereal may interact with respective parts of a world.
Instead of Dissidia's, however, today, it's Gaia/Terra/the general universe and planetary systems of FFIX! Has to do with mist. Has to do with Memoria. I'll be referencing bits of FFVII's Lifestream during this spiel as well, though, because there are connections and similarities.
💭
I've really been driving this point home lately: how Sal and all Ethereals are considered spectral entities; they can interact with incorporeal things (such as ghosts) and things like that. That being said, that brings up some interesting things to think about...
(Some things I've thought about for The Anomaly - FFVII fanfic - that would 110% apply to Starlight - FFIX fanfic - too, I realized.)
Mako and mist are very similar, yeah?
Similar enough given the fact that: they're comprised of souls, bear mutagenic properties and they're disorienting. Additionally, they are both an energy source, as well. Something an Ethereal could consume.
Anytime Sal came into contact with the Lifestream, it was a double-edged sword; fantastic Ethereal "food" source, albeit, the presence of souls - a spectral sort of existence one can still communicate with - actually make it more like a drug trip!
Like, feels great. Also makes you feel insane, though. Scares you. The "sound"/feeling of all those different entities and their voices inside the "mind" is truly maddening!
In game terms, it's like boosting up your stats while simultaneously inflicting confusion. God speed, basically. Hahaha!
Given that theory, I imagine Sal would absolutely react similarly to mist. The Ethereal instinct to consume it as an energy source would be there, but the idea of it bearing some level of sentience as well as the noise would put her off - and the similar drug-like trip she'd experience if she did did "ingest" it would very much make that a one time experience (if she could help it,) I'm sure!
Consumption stuff aside, though, I imagine she hears that noise no matter what... hears a few little whispers in the mist, when in its presence...
It's so spooky and I love it. Of course I would...!
Going back to FFVII and mako, think of it being a bit like Aerith and how she's able to communicate with ghosts and souls in the Lifestream as well. The only difference is I like to imagine Sal can't really single out voices in the Lifestream, still leaving that type of communication unique to the Cetra. She can hear them, but she can't distinguish them (not often or all that well, anyway.) A vast majority of the time, it's this overwhelming torrent of whispers and voices she can't pinpoint like Aerith can. And I'd like to theorize the mist "sounds"/feels the same.
For FFIX and mist in particular, you have confirmation that those souls can be "heard"/felt in what may or may not be a somewhat similar way, thanks to Kuja and whatnot. I don't see why Sal couldn't "hear" them even without consuming them, given the mako and mist parallels along with Anon's (Sal's own respective story lore) evidence laid out.
So... in that regard:
The Iifa Tree would be a headache for her. Haha!
Memoria would be one too! While I don't know if she and the other main party members will be there to experience the FFIX version of it in any capacity, if they are (or they experience any rendition of such a thing) I sense it being a particular disadvantage of sorts for Sal to face. Though... there could also be some manner of appropriate advantage she could develop or find to be able to better tolerate it through the story... maybe... 🤔
(Similar to her getting a bit of a feel for magic, even though her ability to use it is often improbable if not outright impossible, depending on how the magic works; another disadvantage I have sadly cursed her with - in ALL stories. It's always a struggle. Custom Ashe curse. She's OP by default with all those cool Ethereal pros - I have to toss in the cons somewhere, you know?)
And I focus on Sal here (as I often do) but, spoiler alert: she's not the only Ethereal present in this story! I think it'll be pretty neat to see how any Ethereal character's experience with the mist might go. See how it might... tell on who they are, despite them trying to keep it a secret or how it might open the door to some pretty spooky scary situations and things like that.~
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bonerattle arena fucks severely. i was not expecting it to rival my love for jammin' salmon junction, but wow. this map feels like a love letter to people who love and enjoy salmon run. (i ended up playing the rotation for around 3.5 hours... which you can watch here if you like!)
the map's circular shape on normal/high tide effectively makes the spawns from this map come from every angle. it's a test of awareness and movement skill- and the walls + inkrails really, really make rotating around the map feel so fluid and easy.
and low tide's hexagonal two-ring design is so fascinating too! instead of testing movement, it tests your team's ability to make judgment calls on luring and making sure you don't overwhelm basket from luring too much.
i also feel that every special in salmon feels really rewarding to use on this map- even reefslider! i've played enough to see that most specials bring so much utility and value, and i just love that no special feels like it's "useless" on this map.
there's also a few flyfish tech on this map that echoes the bomb tricks on jammin' salmon junction and spawning grounds (and i guess gone fission too), it feels really intuitive on what spots can pop two baskets at once (it's the grates and the rails) and i just? feel really rewarded for playing as much salmon as i do.
i feel that the map's inclusion of the ink rail mechanic evokes a lot of similar vibes to ruins of ark polaris- and i really liked that! there's definitely some things i want to fine tune and understand better about them, but they're really fun.
i still need to see how other weapons feel on this map, but it feels like both mobile and stationary weapons can exceed here- there's nice perches for long range weapons, lots of walls for quick weapons to use to escape situations... it's so swag...! a very good final map, i think!
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