#//GET CRABMANNED
Note
We really passing on the tentacled guy? Where my kinksters at
No wonder it went extinct :c
-🦀
Poor little guy
#hey crab man#I queued your other ask before you sent this one lmao#congrats you’re getting posted twice in one day#that’s maybe a P-SOP record#let me know if you don’t want to be called crabman but honestly that character is so good#but I’ll respect you#ask#anon#crab anon#pokemon#pkmn#pkmn smash or pass#smash or pass#pokemon smash or pass
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
i getting artblock, save me crabman.
3 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Dark Hunters - Dweller & Vanisher
ope, I’m up, I’m up - forgot to do anything for like, a billion years. Whoops!
Anyway, let’s get back to cracking cold ones for the boys.
Here we have lapdog miser and traitor miser two eerily similar guys on the complete opposites of the loyalty spectrum. I was actually eyeing them being the same race of bat-folk, up until realizing that Vanisher has an actual head (guess that mask had to be attached to something). A good thing, in hindsight; uniqueness is the Dark Hunters’ bread and butter.
Either way, onto the details; initially going for a bat-guy, realized eventually that he’s closer to a crab so he became this sorta hybrid between the two. Wonder if he’s supposed to be a crabman, on that note; he’s even got the little and big pincers if you look hard enough. Sideways mouth didn’t really fit, though (in hindsight I’m guessing it could’ve been the “collar”... missed opportunities, but this works out). I made him a bit on the heavier side too, since a) crab and b) powers and history doesn’t really expect acrobatic prowess. Coincidentally contrasts nicely with skinny Vanisher.
Vanisher, on that note... lots of inspiration on this guy. Originally just a weird little man who does portals and gets all his compatriots killed, vibes told me that he’s a psychic. And psychics, ofc, means eldritch fuckery. Always fun. Had to find a purpose for the tubes, probably some kind of a harness that helps with his... whatever he’s got, Cthulu-itis (nicely explains the red rubberband too). Guess that means his wings are now artificial since they’re attached to that big backpack of his (I don’t design, I let my hand roam freely until it decides on whatever it thinks feels right (which is usually the first thing, come to think of it...)), but I think a wingless bat-thing is an interesting choice in hindsight. Spindly crawler. As far as designs go, he’s definitely my favorite guy so far.
Anyway, the sets themselves; pretty good. Vanisher having only one nail polished is kinda throwing me off the loop though and Dweller looks like he can’t turn his head, but other than that, the colors are solid and the sets look believable. In usual Dark Hunter Contest fashion the swine are bragging about all the cool parts they own, like the Makuta mask and fancy shmancy purple pieces. Vanisher’s dude had four whole Onepus. All from McDonalds, I’m guessing.
And that’s about it! I’ll try to be a bit more reasonable with getting the next two guys done, promise.
#Bionicle#Bionicle Art#Dweller (Bionicle)#Vanisher (Bionicle)#Dark Hunters#Dark Hunters (Bionicle)#Baro's Art
18 notes
·
View notes
Note
Mita & Pav please
of course! from here.
Pav – How do you deal with your worries?
The obvious answer is that I take pharmaceuticals every morning. Also: I take a lot of walks, brew and drink a lot of tea, and try to make stuff (food counts if it's a little elaborate) at least a couple of times a week. Additionally, I talk about my worries to other people, and try to take it to heart how often their response is some variation of "okay that is a patently silly thing to worry about." I'm aiming to eventually get better at just, like, accepting that sometimes my brain will freak out for no good reason.
Mita – What's your handiest handicraft?
I've tried to get into knitting or crocheting a couple of times and bounced off it every time. (Most recently, I bought yarn and crochet needles and then just. Could not get farther than the first row no matter what I did.)
The thing that I am probably best at on a technical level (and thus brings me the most joy) is making small figurines out of Sculpey Premo. Here's one example, and another from my Instagram:
These are the characters in the TTPRG we've been playing recently (the quarter is for scale and you kinda can't tell in the photo but the crabman is full-on crouching, which I'm very proud of!)
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've not been able to post as much as I'd like lately for a number of reasons, but because someone asked about it a few days ago I think I can now put together a list of my five favorite Disco Elysium characters. There's still significant bits I haven't played, because it's been surprisingly hard to motivate myself to continue my second playthrough (maybe because all the major plot points and a lot of the dialogue will still be the same?), but I think I have enough of an impression between my first run and other stuff I've read to make this call. In no real order:
Klassje
As I said, she's up there, although not at the top. Her backstory is somewhat relatable, and I like how she initially looks to the femme fatale of this noir-like story before that starts to unravel. It can be (intentionally) hard to parse her through the detective's obvious attraction to her, and in a future run I'd like to see what happens if you go through with trying to arrest her. There's a lot of good moments in her dialogue about the complexities of sexual consent and what it is to care for all-around terrible men.
The Smoker on the Balcony
An obvious one - purely by being himself he awakens the detective's latent bisexuality. What's not to love? It's funny that his sugar daddy will disclose his name and profession even when he's caught at the site of their encounters, yet you'll never learn the Smoker's real name. I also find it interesting that (as far as I can remember) he's the only character to call the detective gendarme. There's an entire essay to be written - very likely not by me, though - on the many ways that DE uses the French language, and while with the Smoker it just seems like a random quirk it's still something that stands out.
Plaisance
Not at all one I expected to like, but there's a delightful absurdity to Plaisance that I can't help but find entertaining. Her fraught abuser-and-abused family situation, her silly attempts at getting the detective to buy from her, her dislike of most of her own products and even the bookshop concept, her casual racism insidious in how mundane it is, and her strange ideas about the Doomed Commercial Area (that may have turned out not to be so strange? Honestly the game starts to lose me when it gets into the stuff about the Pale.) all make quite an enjoyable merchant NPC.
Tiago
The "crabman" of the church only has one scene, and it's a strange one where he's judgmental of the detective's vices despite his clear obsession with losing himself in a nearly religious sense to the Pale, but he's such a distinctive and odd presence that he can't help but be memorable. I like that he never appears again after the club kids set up in the church, but everyone there knows he's still up in the rafters. Eerie - and oddly easier to understand than the dramatic scenes involving the hole in the world.
The Washerwoman/Isobel
Much more stern and knowledgeable than she initially lets on, and someone who provides both a place of refuge for the detective (and Ruby) and who acts more like a community leader than most of the authorities in Martinaise. She immediately sees through Evrart's scheme to force out the residents of the fishing village, but can be made to sign off on the plan anyway because she intends to stand her ground. Another unexpected choice, but she was the most grounding presence in the areas beyond the water lock which is something the detective sorely needs in a time when his home and most of his former life is literally unreachable.
I can't finish this post though without mentioning Kim, who's such a significant and dynamic figure in DE that it didn't feel right to lump him in with NPCs who spend almost all their time in static locations responding to a relatively small number of dialogue trees. Kim is so much more than that, and while that also somewhat curtails his ability to react negatively to what the detective does (from what I've read there's only one situation where he'll abandon you out of anger, and even then it's only temporary) that's more than made up for with the many ways in which he gets to interact with the story and help the detective pick up the pieces of his life. To place Kim in this top five would have seemed inadequate to everything he is, essentially.
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
Was trying to see your viewpoint on the davekat tag (and I honestly get it too) but I got this as an ad and I couldn't pass up sharing that they advertised the Crabs™ to people interested in CrabMan Vantas
YESS look away from the davekat return to the og crab content
#my mutual has been talking about getting this ad and im kind of mad i havent been advertised crabs yet#asks
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I posted 7,613 times in 2022
320 posts created (4%)
7,293 posts reblogged (96%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@noone-ofconsequence
@simple-crabman
@iamnotawomanimagod
@thestenchofcheeseandregrets
@ellynneversweet
I tagged 3,773 of my posts in 2022
Only 50% of my posts had no tags
#bridgerton - 326 posts
#stranger things - 286 posts
#kanthony - 213 posts
#5sos - 136 posts
#anthony bridgerton - 128 posts
#kate sharma - 127 posts
#calum hood - 82 posts
#steve harrington - 76 posts
#the expanse - 73 posts
#the umbrella academy - 71 posts
Longest Tag: 135 characters
#but did her and theo have a real emotional connection that’s probably the first time she’s ever felt a ‘crush’ that she could recognise
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
not enough acknowledgement of Jordon Claire Robbins, who has now played three entirely different characters in three seasons.
968 notes - Posted June 24, 2022
#4
these boys are obsessed with Wednesday and she just takes advantage of them because they are suspects in her investigation or have a vehicle she needs use of. aro queen.
1,185 notes - Posted November 24, 2022
#3
Kate waking up to find out Anthony didn't sit vigil at her bedside after her accident and being like "ah, this must mean he does not love me", meanwhile Anthony has been experiencing Emotions™ for the first time in over a decade and has been physically unable to cope with any of it, all of which occurs after they have already banged each others brains out in a gazebo, is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Kate, honey, I love you so much but you have no idea the grip you have on that man.
1,276 notes - Posted April 18, 2022
#2
Blake Lively has never once flubbed a Met Gala moment and she sure as hell wasn’t about to start this year
2,339 notes - Posted May 3, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Thinking of Carrie Fisher and how much she would just adore this depiction of our beloved Leia Organa. A feisty, mischievous child who wants to see the galaxy, who treats everyone with kindness, and who roasts every single man she meets without mercy.
9,360 notes - Posted May 28, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#i had a great time#love you all#honestly? 7600 is kinda low for me
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I posted 25,704 times in 2022
That's 16,649 more posts than 2021!
491 posts created (2%)
25,213 posts reblogged (98%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@firstmatedville
@canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit
@deathofdelta
@ghostbrawl
@simple-crabman
I tagged 5,497 of my posts in 2022
#radio free junebug - 539 posts
#my chemical romance - 416 posts
#spies are forever - 327 posts
#jukebox - 307 posts
#goncharov - 280 posts
#gerard way - 266 posts
#tag game - 261 posts
#words - 234 posts
#unreality - 190 posts
#reblogging for reference - 176 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#the book where one of the girls' bodies like. rejects the crocodile dna and she's just constantly sick and can't hold onto one body shape???
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
every day i think about mikey way’s nastya rasputina era. not for any particular reason i just do
87 notes - Posted August 1, 2022
#4
the consistent dichotomy of gavin making himself a fucking chore to talk to and then being so angry when nines won’t talk to him is just like. i don’t know how to tell you this mr. reed but sometimes you are in fact the problem
87 notes - Posted April 1, 2022
#3
after. four rewatches of headless, two of which were sponsored by dragging my parents into watching it with me, here’s a thought that i thunk.
spoilers below!!!
at least three of the characters (ichabod, matilda, baltus) all have fake books that they store their possessions inside. this makes varying levels of sense for their characters; matilda for the Vibes of spooky witch lady, baltus for keeping his bribery checks a secret, and ichabod for the fact that he’s a people pleaser who probably bought it off matilda to make her happy, but also ties in to a greater theme of the series.
(literally) not judging a book by its cover.
all three of these characters—and more!!—have ulterior agendas that are revealed throughout the series. ichabod isn’t just some dweeb in sleepy hollow by happenstance, he’s a descendant of the storms family, come back to town to right an ancient wrong. he is also a dweeb, but like. a cool dweeb. matilda isn’t just a witch, she’s keeping the undead corpse of her best friend alive with ancient evil magics and covertly working against her new friends. baltus isn’t just the town’s genial mayor, but a cutthroat politician who killed two people in his attempt to kill a third.
similarly, this lends itself to the story’s theme as a whole, that people are far more than what you expect. although this is plain to see in characters like brom (and his babes), who start off as airhead jocks with some pithy social commentary and wind up as airhead jocks with hearts of gold and loyalties as strong as the horseman’s sword, it is exemplified with the character of the horseman herself. so much of headless is about reexamining history and stripping away old biases. everyone believes the horseman is a decapitated hessian soldier, but is actually a woman practically written out of history in favor of her more famous husband. it’s about doing away with commonly accepted narratives and taking a closer look at the stories that accumulated to build the myth we all know today.
the fake books are both windows into the souls of their owners and the soul of the entire story!!! on the outside?? a beheaded hessian!!! on the inside??? a doing away with the ideas of colonialist cis white male-centric historical narratives that get preserved and a doing of justice for the names that get left out!!! it kicks ass!!!!! it kicks so much ass!!!!!
159 notes - Posted November 20, 2022
#2
dracula stripping his house before jonathan arrives:
895 notes - Posted May 7, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
in my dad’s valiant effort to not misgender people his brain has somehow short circuited and he’s they/them-ing Everyone. my mom? they/them now. his coworkers? all they/them. no one can escape. atad. assigned they at dad
37,301 notes - Posted May 13, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I posted 2,121 times in 2022
13 posts created (1%)
2,108 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@letsboldlygomotherfuckers
@astaeriia
@simple-crabman
@disembark-starstruck
@hyskeign
I tagged 1,418 of my posts in 2022
Only 33% of my posts had no tags
#pokemon - 77 posts
#wwdits - 57 posts
#dracula daily - 46 posts
#😂😂😂 - 41 posts
#wwdits spoilers - 40 posts
#the owl house - 39 posts
#the batman - 27 posts
#💀💀💀 - 26 posts
#lmao - 26 posts
#pokemon sv - 24 posts
Longest Tag: 129 characters
#also i’m in admiration of so many people resigning over this……. like where the fuck was that energy when trump was in charge lmao
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
shoutout to another gnc king
29 notes - Posted August 3, 2022
#4
apparently in tera raid battles you can attack without waiting for other players’ turns, with an emphasis on a quick pace.
thank you thank you THANK YOU!! dynamax raids were such a nightmare online.
30 notes - Posted August 3, 2022
#3
peak design
98 notes - Posted August 3, 2022
#2
446 notes - Posted October 14, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
pokemon really said happy pride month
2,093 notes - Posted June 1, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
0 notes
Text
Every night you dream that you talk to a genie, when you wake up you can't remember what you wished for. One morning you wake up with a giant crab pincer replacing your right arm. What do you do?
I get a desk job and work as a hole puncher. My coworkers admire my drive and my giant pincer, I am efficient and breathtaking in my work. I make my way up the ladder, one pinch at a time until finally I’m there- President of the United States of America. I am bold and beautiful, the crabbiest crabman president to ever president
0 notes
Text
SOOO I just read Baewatch and A Warm Welcome.
Baewatch:
- Can't Ilya get the paper himself?? I mean he's nearly two meters tall for fucks sake!!
- Kinda wish we'd gotten a crabman sprite. it would be funny.
- Sunburnt Ilya. WHEEZE he does look like a crab
- WHY THE FUCK IS WORM MAN HERE
- I kinda want to come back and read the other options to see what the others do, I hope they're as funny as the Julian option.
Warm Welcome:
- So the Devoraks really are pretty explicitly said to be Jewish! I mean, it's clearly said the village keeps kosher. I can't deny, even though i know jack shit about Judaism I'm totally on board with that idea!
- THE GRANDMAS. they won't stop teasing poor Ilya jesus
- We can entertain the kids!!! MC doing magics to the children is so wholesome.
- THAT PART. Where we notice how far he's come from being a fugitive who couldn't even go see his own sister. YEEEES
- The CG! I love it!
I CANT WAIT FOR THE ASRA TALE. I REALLY HOPE IT'S AN EPILOGUE LIKE JULIAN'S, AND YOU CAN BET I'LL BE SAVING UP
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cliessid
Image by “JML:, © Frog God Games.
[Swords and Wizardry seems to share a lot of assumptions about player motivations as old-school, 1970s-era D&D; namely, that the players are amoral jerks concerned primarily with profit. For example, the sample plot hook built around these cute little guys involves them being enslaved to work in a sewer, and striking back with the help of a psychic crabman to get fair wages or else. The plot hook indicates that the PCs are expected to be on the city’s side, but I don’t think I’ve ever run a game for a group that wouldn’t be more interested in supporting the Glorious Crustacean Revolution.
Incidentally, unless I am forgetting something (and with more than 1100 monsters, odds are that I am), this is the first time that I’ve written a monster with sequential hermaphroditism! Which is bizarre, because that’s one of my favorite reproductive adaptations.]
Cliessid
CR 1/3 LN Monstrous Humanoid
This small, shelled biped has lobster-like claws for hands, two short legs that end in three toes splayed in a Y-like shape, and two clusters of tentacles, one around the mouthparts and one growing from the top of its head like hair.
Cliessids are small crustacean-like creatures that are native to aquifers, underground rivers and flooded cave systems. Cliessids are omnivorous, feeding on small cave creatures, algae, fungi and detritus. They fight primarily to defend themselves and their territories, as cliessids are strongly clannish and territorial. This territoriality can bring them into conflict with other peoples, particularly if they colonize a sewer system—cliessids do not distinguish between natural and artificial passages, and usually blur the lines between the two.
Cliessids live short but productive lives. They are fully grown in a matter of months, and die of old age before their tenth birthday. They are broadcast spawners and sequential hermaphrodites—all cliessids are born male and become female if they survive long enough and are well fed. Once their population grows too large in a given area, a few cliessids will leave to colonize a new home range. Such divergent populations are usually strangers of their home population within a few years, and cultural contact between colonies is rare. They are industrious and often modify their caves to suit their needs by carving out niches and boltholes with their claws. Some urbanized humanoids have attempted to enslave cliessids to work as sewer maintenance, but the little crab-men do not take kindly to threats of force. Urbanized cliessids may turn the tables and end up exacting wages for their efforts, turning to guerrilla warfare or intentionally blocking pipes to get what they want.
A cliessid stands about three feet tall and weighs fifty pounds. They advance by character class, with rogue and fighter being popular choices. They are more likely to manifest mental gifts than other forms of magic, and psychics and other occult classes are relatively common among them.
Cliessid CR 1/3
XP 135
LN Small monstrous humanoid (aquatic)
Init +1; Senses darkvision 90 ft., Perception +4
Defense
AC 13, touch 12, flat-footed 12 (+1 size, +1 Dex, +1 natural)
hp 5 (1d10)
Fort +0, Ref +3, Will +2
Weakness light sensitivity
Offense
Speed 30 ft., swim 30 ft.
Melee 2 claws +3 (1d4-1)
Special Attacks swarming
Statistics
Str 8, Dex 13, Con 10, Int 11, Wis 10, Cha 9
Base Atk +1; CMB -1; CMD 10
Feats Weapon Finesse
Skills Climb +3, Knowledge (dungeoneering) +5, Perception +4, Stealth +9, Survival +0 (+4 underground), Swim +7; Racial Modifiers +4 Knowledge (dungeoneering), +4 Survival when underground
Languages Undercommon
SQ amphibious
Ecology
Environment underground and aquatic
Organization solitary, pair, gang (3-12 plus 0-1 2nd level character), or colony (13-100, plus 1 2nd level character per 10 individuals)
Treasure standard
Special Abilities
Swarming (Ex) Up to cleissids can share the same square at the same time. If two cliessids that are occupying the same square attack the same foe, they are considered to be flanking that foe as if they were in two opposite squares.
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
So my friends made me make an account on the new server, S62-Last Waltz(if anyone’s on that one, add me “illuniss”)
We first just wanted to fuck around and make new characters, then see what allies we’d get out of boredom and probably just use them as side accounts. So we redeemed the CD Key code and started recruiting...
Well
FUCK
GUESS WHO DECIDED TO FUCKING COME HOME
THIS BEAUTIFUL CRABMAN DECIDED TO COME HOME ON MY SIDE ACCOUNT
Well fuck, i might have a new main account now
His costume anecdotes are precious, i love him
I also got Christmas Shavee, but her anecdote made me internally throw up and I’d rather not talk about it
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Venus in the City
A request from @rottmntrulesall for their Little Sister Venus AU. I highly recommend you check their blog out!
After begging and pleading with Splinter, the Turtles and April had finally convinced him to let them take Venus for a ride in the Turtle Tank. Venus fussed only a little as Donnie strapped her into a car seat that he had made especially for her before squealing in delight as the tank roared into life. Her older siblings smiled fondly at the happy noises she made.
“You like that, Venus?” Raph asked, carefully driving through traffic. “You like riding in the Turtle Tank?”
“Yeah!” April cheered in a high pitched voice, waving both of Venus’s arms in the air and pulling a giggle out of the Indian Tent turtle.
Venus’s eyes shone happily. The buildings were moving so fast, and her chair would bump and rattle in the most fun way! This was great!
“Wait, was that—” Donnie started as he squinted out the window.
Suddenly, the Turtle tank swerved as the Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, and Foot Recruit landed on the hood.
“Turtles!” Foot Lieutenant rasped. “Prepare for defeat!”
“Oh, come on!” Leo groaned. “Can’t we go for one drive without some bozos ruining everything? How’re we gonna deal with these guys with Venus here?!”
“Like this!” Donnie flipped a switch, and Venus was pulled into the back of the tank and encased by a clear dome. “That bubble is made of a highly damage-resistant material that will keep Venus safe while we deal with these jerks.”
“Don’t worry, Venus,” Mikey comforted the confused baby as their siblings rushed out of the tank. “We’ll be back soon. Just sit tight!”
And like that, Venus was alone in a bubble in the Turtle Tank as the teenagers battled the Foot Clan just out of her sight. The baby chewed on her teal ribbon tail for a little while before growing bored. Venus didn’t want to be in her chair anymore. She wanted out!
A moment later, Venus felt herself slipping free of her car seat, out of the bubble, and through the Turtle Tank’s floor. Her brothers and sister were still in heavy combat though, and the baby didn’t like how loud they were being. Closing her eyes and crawling forward, Venus slipped through dimensions to get to someplace quieter until her siblings were done fighting.
“That didn’t take very long at all,” April said as she and the Turtles climbed back into the Turtle Tank.
“I guess they didn’t restock their paper from the last time we fought them,” Raph gloated, hefting himself back into the driver’s chair.
“Let me put Venus back in her spot, then we can get rolling again,” Donnie said. Flipping another switch, the protective bubble pulled away, and the car seat returned to its original position. “Ready to go, Ve-ven-oooh, boy.”
When they all saw the empty car seat, their stress levels skyrocketed, but it could’ve just been Venus messing with them. April swiped her hand through the air just to be sure. They all shared a look and started freaking out.
“Where did Venus go?!” Mikey screamed. “She’s just a baby! What’s going to happen to our sister?!”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Where’d yous come from?” Venus blinked her eyes open to find Repo-Mantis staring down at her. She had traveled all the way to the junkyard. “You lost or somethin’, kid? I’m not a fan of turtles runnin’ around my junkyard.”
“Baah! Puh!” Venus babbled, crawling between Repo’s legs and disappearing further into the junkyard.
“Where d’ya think your off’ta?” Repo asked, ducking to follow the baby turtle’s travel. But she was gone. She had literally disappeared. “Wha?”
Not wanting a baby mutant wandering around his place of business, Repo went to look for her. He soon found her in his electromagnet. She managed to swing the heavy machine to hang over the school bus plugging Mrs. Nubbins’ den.
“Wait, no, no, no, no!” Repo shouted, rushing towards Venus. “Not that scrapheap, kid! Stop!” Too late. The bus pulled free, and the cat-mantis was unleashed. Repo immediately about-faced and ran away from his beloved pet.
Growing bored of the purple bugman and the machinery, Venus slipped out of the electromagnet and crawled out of the junkyard. She quickly caught wind of something that smelled delicious! A yellow van topped with a T-bone steak was parked across the street. What was over there that smelled so good?
“My, my, what have we here?” Venus was lifted up by metal hands that brought her face-to-face with a smug Meat Sweats. “You’re just the ingredient I needed for my latest recipe! How fortuitous for me.”
He plopped the baby turtle into the broth heating up on the stovetop, scrapped in some chopped up veggies, and sorted out the seasonings that would “unleash the flavor” within Venus. The Indian tent turtle gurgled delightedly in what she thought was tasty-smelling bathwater. She munched on a carrot piece, splashing in the broth, when pepper suddenly dusted her snout.
“That should do it,” Meat Sweats said. As he cleared away his spices, he noticed Venus scrunching up her face. “What’s that look for? My seasoning is perfectly balanced.”
He drew closer to the pot just as Venus unleashed a powerful sneeze. The sneeze was followed by spikes shooting out of her shell, flying all over the food truck’s kitchen. Meat Sweats squealed in horror. He knocked the pan off the stovetop and out of his truck, baby turtle and all, as the spikes pinned him by his apron to the cabinets.
“Oh, rubbish,” Meat Sweats grumbled.
Venus continued to chew on the veggies remained in the pot with her after the tumble when the she was lifted up once again. This time it was orange crab pinchers that carried her into an alleyway. So many new people in one night!
“Hey, Carl, check it out! It’s one of those turtle mutants that we hate, but littler!” The crabman without pinched Venus’s cheeks. She whined in displeasure and swatted his pincher away. “This one would be way easier to eat, and she’s already in some soup!”
The crabman with hair poked Venus’s cheek and felt his heart melt like butter when she sucked on his claw. “Pass, Ben. That’d be messed up. Maybe if she was bigger.”
“Bah?” Venus questioned, releasing the claw from her jaws. Bigger? What did that “bigger” mean? Steadily, the pot she was sitting in started getting tighter. Venus’s line of sight climbed, higher than when she sat on Raph’s head! The crabmen seemed to begin to panic. The baby turtle giggled and clapped her hands as the crabmen did a silly dance in front of her.
“This is not what I meant!” Carl shouted, swinging his arms wildly as the baby turtle quickly grew to double his and his brother’s size. Ben and Carl ran in wild circles for a moment before crashing into each other hard. The shock from the impact and panic from the giant infant knocked the duo unconscious.
Venus stared at the still crabmen before shrinking down to her normal size. They weren’t doing much more than breathe at this point, and the Indian tent turtle wanted something more entertaining than that. She crawled away and soon heard the laughter of children at a playground. All those colors and kids looked fun! Venus was all set to join them when something flopped onto her head and over her eyes.
“Turtle! Prepare to taste defeat at the hands of your greatest foe, Warren Stone!” The long pink thing in a purple jacket rolled into a dramatic offensive pose before the Indian tent turtle. “I won’t hold back just because you’re a ba-argh!”
Venus gripped the worm mutant by his throat and pulled his stretchy body as far as she could. This was a great toy! She whipped Warren around like a lasso and laughed brightly at the way he yelled. He made really funny noises, too! A white dove then flew into Venus’s line of sight and made her think of the cartoons she and Mikey would watch where birds would flock around the worm and beat them up. Attention drawn away, the baby mutant dropped the mutant in her hands and followed the dove.
“Where are you going?!” Warren shouted after her. “I’m not done with you yet!” He was then surrounded by a flock of large pigeons that had materialized out of thin air. “Or maybe I am.” The flock proceeded to attack the worm mutant. “Aaagh!”
Venus followed the dove for a few blocks, watching it land on the broad purple shoulder of Hypno-Potamus.
“There you are! Back in the hat you go,” Hypno said. He placed the dove back in his magic hat, poofing the accessory away, and caught sight of the baby turtle. She clapped at the sight of the hat disappearing, eyes wide with wonder. “You like that trick, little lady? Wait a tic, where is your family?” He glanced up and down the empty street then shrugged. “How about a little magic show until they come along?”
At the baby’s impartial gurgling, Hypno started performing tricks for Venus. She was delighted by the multicolor hanky rope the magic hippo pulled out of nowhere. Hypno clapped his hands together, and the hanky rope had transformed into a rainbow of cards floating between his palms as he drew them apart. Hypno flinched back at how high-pitched Venus’s surprised shriek was.
Where’d the rope go?! How’d the cards fly in the air like that? Was he magic like Leo and his portals? Was she magic? She looked at her own hands, clapped them together, and opened them herself. Cards floated between her palms, just like Hypno! She was magic!
“How’d you do that?” Hypno asked, just as surprised as Venus. He smirked and snapped his cards away. “Let’s see you copy this then!” He conjured up his top hat once more, and doves rocketed out from its depths.
Venus unleashed amazed laughter. Her cards disappeared as she waved her hands towards the birds flying up into the air. However, her happiness turned to fear once the flock of doves changed directions and flew straight at the baby turtle. Scared and confused, Venus screamed at the doves and the unfortunate magic hippo behind them as well.
“Argh!” Hypno cried out. He pressed his hands onto his ears, but the baby turtle’s scream was too strong. He squeezed his eyes shut against the birds that swarmed past him, missing Venus scramble away. All he was left with was ringing ears and a sense of confusion.
Venus blinked around tearfully at the fancy hotel she somehow entered. She crawled around the front desk and sat down. She liked birds, but those had gotten way too close way too fast.
“Hey, who’s kid is this?” A bellhop asked as he rounded the desk. “She doesn’t have a cloaking broach.”
“Take her to the yokai floors,” another bellhop said. He sniffed the air around her. “And see that she gets cleaned up. She must’ve gotten into the kitchen and lost her broach somewhere along the way if her scent is anything to go by.”
“All right, little one, let’s go.”
Venus let the bellhop carry her into the elevator and was happy to get a bath for once. The broth from earlier was starting to make her scales itch. She also liked the gentle attention the funny creatures in the red suits gave her. They were almost as good as her big brothers and big sister!
“Oh, she’s so pretty in that shade of teal!” The octopus yokai who had given her a bath said, carefully bouncing her in front of the other bellhops.
“Is she one of our guests?” A fox yokai bellhop asked, letting Venus fiddle with his hand. “I don’t recall any turtle yokai staying with us. And that mask kinda reminds me of those other turtles who keep breaking in.”
“What seems to be the piddly-problem here?” A sickeningly sweet asked from behind employees.
“Big Mama!” The octopus yokai spun to face the powerful spider yokai. “We seem to have a lost guest in our midst!”
Big Mama bent down to get a better look at Venus. She was stare was intense and unwavering. The yokai holding the baby and the bellhop were starting to sweat from how long Big Mama was locking eyes with the Indian tent turtle. Then, the disguised spider yokai squealed in delight, sweeping Venus into her arms and cuddling the baby close.
“Oh, what a splendiferously precious, teedly tiny turtlely-boo!” Big Mama cooed, rubbing her cheek against Venus’s. Venus laughed as Big Mama’s hair tickled her neck. “Such sprinkly-sparkly eyes! A fantampulous giggle as lovely as her ribbon!” She pulled back and considered the child in her arms once more. “Come! Big Mama will take care of you.”
Venus burbled contentedly in the purple lady’s arms. She reminded the baby of her daddy with how she talked.
“But Big Mama, what about her family?” the bellhop asked. “Won’t they be worried about her?”
Big Mama gave the bellhop a scathing look. “If her family truly loved her, she wouldn’t be lost and causing such a fizzywinkle among my on-the-clock employees! I shall deal with this doodlie-bug’s family if they ever show up.”
Venus chewed at the end of Big Mama’s cravat, watching the other yokai shrink away from the pretty purple lady. She must’ve been tough like April and Donnie for everyone to be so scared of her. Venus loved how much attention this “Big Mama” was giving her, but she was starting to want her brothers, sister, and father the longer the lady held her. Maybe everyone was done being loud by now? She should go back to her car seat. Venus started fussing and struggling to get to the floor.
“Oh, what’s wrong, cutie-doodle?” Big Mama asked. “Don’t fuss.”
When Big Mama lifted her higher and started walking away from the other yokai, Venus began to struggle in earnest. She didn’t want to be in this fancy building anymore! She wanted her family! Put her down! She slipped, quite literally, through Big Mama’s fingers and crawled as fast as she could towards the elevator.
“What?!” Big Mama shrieked. “Catch her!”
Suddenly, bellhops galore blocked Venus’s path. The baby didn’t stop for a second before she was crawling up the walls and onto the ceiling. All of the bellhops stared up in shock at her. However, the owl bellhop shook off his surprise, leapt up, and pulled the baby mutant into his arms. The unfortunate bellhop soon found his hands full of many Venus’s piling one on top of the other until he toppled over. Each bellhop and even Big Mama caught a duplicate before she hit the ground.
“Well,” Big Mama said, obviously ruffled. “That was unexpected. Are you quite done, turtle-boo?”
That’s when the acid vomit started shooting out of every Venus’s mouth.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Why doesn’t she have a tracker on her?” Leo yelled at Donnie. “You put a tracker on everything.”
“I wanted to!” Donnie yelled back. “But you all thought it was too extreme to put a tracker on a five-month-old!”
“Since when did you listen to us about where to put your trackers?!” Raph yelled.
This fighting was getting them nowhere. The Turtle Tank tore through the streets as the worried siblings searched for their missing little sister. They had chased of the Foot after five minutes max of combat. They had locked the tank door. Where could Venus have gone? Who could’ve been able to take her?! If it hadn’t been for sporadic dust clouds shooting up from Repo-Mantis’s Junkyard, they wouldn’t have had a clue where to start.
“Return our sister, you fiend!” Mikey demanded.
His family jumped out of the tank, armed and ready, only to see Repo dodging and running away from Mrs. Nubbins. Well… they weren’t expecting that. Repo was pretty good at keeping his beloved murder cat contained.
“Do we help him?” Leo asked slowly.
“No,” Donnie said. “This is a waste of time!”
“He might know something about Venus, though,” April countered.
“Alright, Mad Dogs,” Raph said. “Get that cat-mantis!”
One determined sibling fight later, Repo found himself on the business end of Leo’s odachi.
“Hey, bug-man,” Leo greeted. “You see a baby turtle mutant pass by?”
“That little thing was with yous guys?!” Repo yelled.
“And don’t even think about lyin—what?” Donnie asked. “You’ve seen our baby sister?!”
“Yeah,” Repo said, head lulled back. He may as well tell the kids what they wanted; they had saved his life after all. “She must’ve crawled off after letting Mrs. Nubbins out a minute ago. Came outta nowhere, that kid. Left outta nowhere, too.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” April demanded.
Muffled shouting from across the street drew the teenagers’ attention away from Repo, who took this opportunity to slip away. With their initial target gone, they went to investigate where the shouts had come from. April was the first to see the familiar food truck parked across the street. Something pointy stuck out at several spots on the outside of the truck.
“Meat Sweats!” she yelled, throwing the ajar backdoor open wide.
“Not you lot!” Meat Sweats groaned from where he hung on the wall. “One turtle disaster was enough!”
“Give us our sister!” Raph said, pulling the pig mutant free and dangling him in the air.
“That little terror is your sister?!” Meat Sweats roared. “Does the big one here shoot spikes, too?!”
“What? No,” Raph denied, lifting Meat Sweats higher. “Where’s our sister?”
“I threw her out, pot and all, when the spikes came flying at me,” Meat Sweats explained.
“We’re coming, Venus!” Leo yelled, tearing out of the food truck with his other siblings as Raph continued to hold Meat Sweats.
“Stop. Trying. To eat. My. Family!” Raph snarled in the pig mutants face before going to join the others.
Leo and Donnie were on the rooftops, looking in every direction for a hint of teal of their bubbly baby sister; Mikey and April scourged the alleys and streets for signs of Venus; and Raph patrolled in the Turtle Tank. A few moments later, the three groups converged where scraps of metal and two mutant crabmen lay uselessly in an alleyway.
Donnie prodded the mutants with his tech bo, saying, “What happened to you guys? Wait. Let me guess—you found a little turtle and she beat you up?”
The crabman with hair opened one eyestalk, saw the frustrated and near-feral teenagers looming over him and his brother, and shook his head.
“No, she got big, and my bro and I freaked out so much we knocked each other out. I thought she was gonna eat us.”
“Okay.” Donnie crouched down to look the crabman in the eyes. “First of all, she’s just a baby. Worst thing she can do to you right now is bite your exoskeletons. Second, where is she?” The crabman without hair raised a claw and wordlessly pointed towards the park across the street. “Thank you, gentlemen. You will not be eviscerated today.”
The Sando brothers cowered away from the determined children and slunk into the sewers as they crossed the street. The park was empty at the moment, so April wasn’t worried about anyone seeing the giant mutant turtles wadding through the bushes.
“Venus!” April and the others called in intervals, tearing the park upside down for their baby. “C’mon sis, where are you?”
“You guys looking for a baby turtle?” Warren Stone asked. He was chilling on a park bench, sipping a smoothie.
“Warren Stone!” April squealed. She ran up to her news anchor idol. “Do you know where our sister is? She’s got a teal mask and a pretty defined shell.”
“Yeah, she crawled that a-ways about ten minutes ago,” Warren said waving in the general direction. “Chasing a bird or something. No respect for the laws of mortal foe combat.”
“Thanks Warren! Stone-head for life!” April ran off to get her brothers. “I got a lead! Venus isn’t here anymore, but I know where she went!”
“Lead on, April!” Leo said.
April led them in the direction Warren Stone had waved in, and they soon came across Hypno. He was shouting and swinging a top hat at a flock of doves swarming over his head.
“Hypno!” Mikey shouted, wrapping the chain of his kusari-fundo around the hippo mutant. “Where’s our sister?”
“What?” Hypno shouted. “I don’t know anything about a ‘blister.’”
“I said sis-ter,” Mikey yelled. “Baby turtle mutant. Teal mask. Where?”
“Never met one,” Hypno shouted. “Why would a lady turban merchant need a flask? Speak up! I can’t really hear at the moment.”
The teenagers groaned. This was getting them nowhere!
“Did you lot happen to lose a baby turtle?” Hypno asked. “One passed by a minute ago. I gave her a magic show, but the doves scared her off.”
“Where’d our baby sister go?” Mikey yelled as clearly as he could. Hope shined in the box turtle’s eyes.
Hypno seemed to wilt from the question. “I don’t know. She let out a killer scream that took out my doves and my hearing. I didn’t see where she went.”
“That would explain the screaming-match,” Leo grumbled. “Mikey, let him go. Venus isn’t here.” But she has been causing some top-tier mischief.
Raph brought the Turtle Tank around for everyone to pile in and regroup. Now what? Hypno was their last lead to finding Venus, and he didn’t know where she crawled off to. How did her screaming make the hippo mutant go that hard of hearing anyway? Sure, the baby had a loud voice but not loud enough to make someone go near-deaf. Right?
“Now what, team?” Raph asked. “Where do we look next?”
“Well,” Donnie started. Then explosions erupted from the Nexus Hotel in the distance.
“FOLLOW THE CHAOS!!!” April shouted.
Moments later, the Turtle fam burst into Big Mama’s hotel, weapons drawn and ready to take on the spider yokai. The sight that greeted them was not what they expected from the usually put-together criminal boss. Small fires lit up parts of the lobby and stairs, yokai and humans alike were either flopped over broken furniture unconscious or shaking in absolute terror. A yokai ran from one end of the room to the other screaming his head off.
“What happened here?” Leo asked, lowering his sword.
“I don’t know,” Donnie said, looking at his wrist scanner and typing on it. “I’ll hack into the security feeds; you guys keep an eye open for—”
Big Mama chose that moment to leave the elevator in giant yokai spider form. The first thing the Turtle fam did was pull into a tighter circle, defending Donnie as he reviewed the hacked feeds. They noted how she looked, well, battered, bruised, and burned. Big Mama looked at the teenagers with six tired eyes, down at her thick arms, then back at the teenagers. She slowly walked towards them.
“Does this belong to you?” she asked, voice wavering from exhaustion.
Extending her arms, Venus dangled from her hands.
“Venus!” They all cried.
Raph carefully took Venus into his arms and backed his entire family as far away from Big Mama as he could. His siblings launched themselves onto his arms, kissing and cooing at the baby turtle warbling happily back at them. Before they could interrogate the spider yokai about how she got her claws on their precious baby sister, Big Mama passed out less than gracefully in her lobby.
Raph quickly carried his family back to the Turtle Tank where they continued to fawn over their baby sister, relieved to have her back and taking turns holding her close. Donnie held Venus very carefully. She had somehow gotten out of one of his inventions specially designed to protect her, and he took it personally. How had it happened?
“Let’s see how you got into Big Mama’s hands, shall we?” Donnie said, passing Venus off to April and hooking up his gauntlet to the tank’s display screen.
As the security feed played out, the Turtle fam watched with increasing shock as their baby sister all but destroyed the Nexus Hotel. From the very moment that she went intangible in Big Mama’s arms, to crawling up onto the ceiling, duplicating, and puking up acid, the teens couldn’t look away. Then things really got weird.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Venus screamed in the arms of every bellhop that held her, causing them to drop the duplicates to cover their ears. Big Mama wasn’t so lucky. She held the original baby turtle. Big Mama had to transform into her yokai form in order to cover her ears and not drop the baby.
“Hush, cutie-doodle!” Big Mama tried to soothe the child.
No! Venus didn’t want the spider lady anymore. Maybe if they couldn’t see her, they’d leave her alone. Leo played peekaboo with her all the time. Maybe the same rules applied? Venus covered her eyes and held as still as possible. She heard a gasp of surprise and suddenly felt her bottom hit the ground.
“Where’d she go?” a bellhop asked.
“I don’t know,” Big Mama replied. “She was right here! Find her!”
Venus crawled away as the bellhops and Big Mama waved the air around the ground searching for her. She made it to the elevator right as it was closing before becoming visible again.
“There she is! How’d she get in the elevator?!” a yokai yelled out.
The crowd tried to get to the baby turtle, but the doors had already closed. Venus blinked. She looked around the box-like room she was in. How did these things work again? She spotted the shiny panel of buttons and made grabby hands at them. They were too high up! The Indian tent turtle’s line of sight was soon above the panel of buttons. She could totally reach them now! Venus slapped the panel happily. The room felt like it was moving.
When the doors opened again, there were bellhops waiting. They, unfortunately, were not expecting the little baby to have grown to be bigger than their employer. Venus mowed them down as she crawled into the hallway. She found a stairwell and wandered her way down a few flights before shrinking down again.
The door was too heavy for her small body to open. However, she didn’t hesitate to crawl right through the wall to the other side, which just so happened to be a fish tank. Venus loved swimming! She followed the exotic fish in the tank for a minute or two, completely missing the looks of horror guests and employees alike gave her for how long she was in there. What? It wasn’t like she was gonna run out of air. She did this all the time at home.
“There you are!” Big Mama cheered, scooping the baby turtle out of the water tank. “Oh, now you’re all sobbled! Come, dear, let Big Mama dry you off.”
Oh, not this lady again! Venus huffed and puffed, struggling to get out of the gentle but firm grip. Then, she felt something shoot out of her shell. Screaming rang out around her, and Big Mama gasped. Venus looked around and saw several spikes impaling pillars and pining people to the walls. The baby clapped, clearly enjoying the silly poses the yokai had struck to avoid the spikes.
“That’s quite enough of that,” Big Mama admonished. Neither yokai nor baby noticed the pillar behind them starting to fall over. “I’ve had enough fizzywinkles in my hotel today, thank you.”
The pillar groaned and slammed on top of the two females. The bellhops rushed to lift the pillar from Big Mama, who was banged and bruised from its weight, but Venus was perfectly fine. Her scales had formed into a silver armor, leaving a baby turtle shaped hole in the raised column.
Then, a fire started from one of the spikes slicing through an electrical outlet. Everyone started screaming and running. Venus started crawling away again. And—
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Donnie shut of the video feed. He, Raph, Leo, Mikey, and April stared at Venus in shock. Raph quickly drove them home. After the teens all gathered in the living room, they collapsed into a heap of exhaustion, stress, and disbelief. Splinter walked in to see Venus sucking her thumb on top of Donnie’s chest as the soft-shell gently patted her head.
“Ah, there’s my precious little girl!” Splinter smiled. “Come to Daddy, Venus.” He lifted Venus to his hip and rubbed his nose to her beak. “So, how was her first ride in the Turtle Tank?”
Splinter raised an eyebrow in confusion at the way the teens groaned and sunk even further into their sibling pile.
Mikey shot up from the pile and shouted, “VENUS HAS POWERS,” then sunk back to his place between his brothers and April.
What a chaotically long day.
#rottmnt#request from rottmntrulesall#little sister venus AU#all the chaos you could want#in one adorable package#tmnt donnie#tmnt raph#tmnt leo#tmnt mikey#tmnt april#repo mantis#meat sweats#sando brothers#warren stone#hypnopotamus#big mama#cross-posting on Ao3 and FFN#fanfiction#tmnt fanfiction#my fanfiction#writing#my writing#may your ink flow free and run ever present with your imagination
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
Maybe if crabman was a better author I’d get to talk about monster girl logistics more often
4 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
beardocomics
Beardo Comics
molotovcupcake
to another trip around the sun
ro-go
The Ro-Go Files
sockka-blog
trash bending
mahalaxmidevelopers
Untitled