how often - if at all - does freya think about the fact that she is mortal and that her siblings are not and will presumably outlive her?

all day!! every day!!! even if she’s not actively thinking about it, it’s always back on her mind somewhere, driving her even more unhinged. she’s so angry because immortality was forced upon her when she was alone and didn’t want it – but the moment she’s back with her siblings, the moment that she gains something she wants to live forever for, it’s again taken from her ( she’s glad that dahlia is gone, ofc, but it still stings ). she went through hell and fought all her life just to get back to her family and she only gets a single lifetime – if that ( she already worries she can’t compare to a thousand years long bond they share with each other and it kills her just a little that she’ll never have that ). freya doesn’t fear death. not her own death, anyway, she’d die for her loved ones without hesitation. what she fears is that whatever limited time she gets to spend with her family will simply not be enough and that, once she’s gone, they will move on and she will be the forgotten dead sister nobody talks about again. she won’t admit it because she knows that’s not fair to her siblings but well <3 it’s there it makes her more reckless and only adds to her Martyr Tendencies. she pretty much decided that if someone out of them has to die, it’s better her than them because she’s mortal anyway and they’re not. and she will work tirelessly so they are basically in the best place possible when she must leave them once more she knows a lot of this is irrational too, but her trauma has trauma and tbh dahlia didn’t exactly teach her any healthy coping mechanisms. thus, tequila!

About your post about getting back into writing---I'm always down to hear people rant about their ocs! if that's something you feel like doing :)

I'm so glad to hear this because I have no one IRL to ramble to about my little guys! Apologies if this is a bit incoherent everything relating to my characters and their storyline and stuff is incredibly underdeveloped and just basic ideas as of now!

So basically I'll start with the Dresdens because their family is kind of the catalyst for everything!

The Dresden family consists of a single father his seventeen year old son Matteo and his fourteen year old daughter Ottilie (their dad is unnamed because I have not developed him at all! Yippee!)

I'll start with Ottilie because she's me favorite and the most fleshed out. Ottilie is a super bright enthusiastic and outgoing person she's very excitable and absolutely loves the paranormal. Anything about it. Cryptids, aliens, conspiracies, UFOs, demons, all of that. But most of all she's a passionate believer in ghosts and has wanted to find one since she was a little kid. Ever since her mom died she's dedicated her life to finding a ghost and maybe even befriending it if she gets the chance. But she has one major setback in the lifelong goal of hers, her own body. Ottilie has struggled with some sort of mystery health condition since she was young and despite countless doctor visits and referrals she's no closer to finding a diagnosis than she was as a little kid. Her condition effects her in a lot of ways but the thing that it effects the most is her mobility she struggles to get around unassisted. She's an ambulatory wheelchair user and has crutches to help her out when she doesn't have her chair. But the biggest issue she runs into is how hard it is to get around haunted buildings with mobility aids! I mean seriously these ghosts could be at least a little more considerate of where they're haunting right? But she doesn't let this bother her too much she always figures out a way to check out haunted locations despite their lack of accessibility.

And maybe after moving to the small seaside town of Port dallows she'll finally find what she's looking for. But maybe not in the way she expected

I just got back from a long trip like literally 20 minutes ago so I'll post more about my silly little dudes and talk about their story and the horrors another time! Because while things are lighthearted and fun for a while it does veer into horror territory midway through! Thanks for the ask! I don't get to talk Abt this stuff a lot

Edelzilla is literally the best name I have seen anyone come up with. That aside, there's only a handful of 3H spoilers in FEH right now and aside from "oooh ~final boss~" type stuff FEH rarely has any of the interesting spoilers for FE stories like...I dunno, when I compare what I know about the FE stories I am familiar w/ to their content in FEH, I feel like the garnish was taken with the meat and potatoes left behind, so to speak. Like, sure there's stuff in FEH to spoil that who Lucina is and there's some of the other future kids and the Grimas, but even if I had come across FEH's version of Awakening, it still wouldn't have prepared me for the sheer emotional impact of the cutscene w/ Lucina when she tries to kill Robin, nor the emotional strife of the Future Past dlc, and it certainly never touches on any of the deeper characterization you can dig up through supports (looking at FEH Henry and Libra, FEH's missing out on the Traumatic Backstories big time), and how would I have learned about the dynamics between the characters if I hadn't just, sat down and played Awakening? Hell, I was spoiled for was more than FEH covers of Awakening through fandom stuff (I played it several years after it came out) and STILL wasn't prepared for the emotional impact of playing the game myself. The same goes for FEH's spoilers and Echoes, which is my personal favorite game but bc it wasn't popular doesn't get nearly the in-depth rep or meaningful spoilers in FEH nor a good look into the characters (except Faye who was so underdeveloped that her FEH quotes actually help add to her character a bit which I do love bc I love her a lot). So I'm rambling, but what I'm trying to say is, even with how popular 3H is, I don't think FEH can spoil the parts of the game which you may enjoy the most when you can play it. There's no shame in not being able to play it Right Now, Right Away if you don't have the money for the console or game itself, like, short of looking up scripts or playthroughs you're not going to get the story in anything near its entirety or complexity from FEH (or fanarts even, in my experience w/ other games), and even then, your experience playing the game will be unique to you and no one can distill that experience into any sort of spoiler bc it'll be yours and yours alone. Growing up before I had a job, I couldn't just, buy myself consoles/games when they came out. I've gone for years w/out playing games that I eventually came to love when I finally did have the means and money to play them, and no amount of spoilers I saw beforehand, on purpose or accident, ever prepared me or even truly spoiled me for the experience of the games themselves. So uh...again, I can't remember the point I was trying to make, but one day you will be able to play the games you want to play and don't let anyone, least of all a gacha game, try to bully you into feeling bad for not being able to play them Right Away bc of the fear of spoilers. Sorry for the length, I hope you have a lovely day.

Thank you so much Anon, I hope you have a lovely day too! <3

Hi! So I came across your Black Roses fic yesterday and I just wanted to send you some praise about it (sorry this is a long message). It’s one of my favorite stories I have ever read and I was so captivated by it that I couldn’t put it down (literally stayed up till like 5am reading it and then as soon as I woke up this morning didn’t get out of bed until I was done reading it). You are such a great writer and now I’m on my way to read the rest of your fics/drabbles. Here’s some of my favorite parts(sorry this isn’t in order I just set out to ramble about it and let it flow):

Being able to compare Tyler ge Klaus in her relationships. Loved how you brought in the fire spells stuff in a way too to make the comparison as well as her showing her powers during the lunch scene. Her being sad Tyler wasn’t interested in seeing her do a new fire spell she learned and then her bragging about “wait till you see what I can do with fire” to Klaus and him being excited about it. Plus how she dated Tyler for years and never felt she could say I love you but with Klaus she could and does often. (Love when you got her to say it too l, she was just so overwhelmed with happiness she couldn’t not say it and that made me happy).

Loved the Aurora arc and that angst with it. (I’m like an emotionless bitch and the angst of it made me tear up). I thought it was just a defining moment and very needed for their relationship. He has to realize for it to work he had to open up and show his true self meanwhile care had to realize who he was behind the facade he was trying to show and ahh it was just super important I could go about it for hours. It reminds me of their 4X13 arc from the show when he bite her. Like super angsty, sad, terrible but so necessary.

Also loved how she wanted to decide she trusted him and show she trusted him and get to know his monster with the biting thing it was super unique and beautifully done.

Every single scene with the reciting novels and poetry gets to me every. single. time. It’s in my head cannon that Klaus and Caroline would cuddle on a coach after a long day and he would read her something so it fills my heart up seeing that be done someway in a story.

Love how even after the breakup he just wanted to still be there for her because he knew she didn’t have friends that put her first and he wanted to make sure she had that even if they weren’t together.

I thought the bill arc was so interesting too hopefully we get to see more of him I feel like there’s still unfinished business

Also love all the kissing scenes and smut scenes you make Klaus to be such an attentive lover and it makes me happy. Plus it’s so beautiful how yo get to see Caroline grow herself through them and become more confident in herself too.

I’m hoping one of these chapters Klaus just kinda snaps and let’s all his emotions out to her I think he’s almost there where he just has to convince himself he can admit it and that she will be there afterwards. I hope we get to see a talk about the future one day it will give me all the feels for sure.

I also love how you get to have them talking about their similar pasts and how they can just get ewh other because they are similar that was so underdeveloped on the show and your conversations within the fic full that void.

Also thank you for diving into a little bit of a jealous Caroline in your last update at the bar. I she got portrayed more but I feel like most people don’t like it because they hate seeing her insecure about her relationships (which is why the jealousy with aurora and the need for that arc to happen etc). But this one was more she was secure in her relationship but still has a hidden possessive side (which I strongly head cannon that Caroline has)

Anyway I could go on and on about all the different parts of the story I love but this is so long already. Can’t wait to see how you finish everything up!! (I have a theory about something Caroline might be hiding or upset about I’m hoping I’m right but I don’t want to say it nice incase it is right to not ruin it for people). Also so excited that one day this will be a book!! It’s beautifully written and it deserves attention from outside the KC community and I will definitely buy it. And very happy to hear you are trying to take care of your mental health this year it’s super important and you should always be your #1 responsibility. Keep taking care of yourself and take some me days❤️❤️

AHHHHHHH!!! 💛💛💛

first of all: hi anon!

second of all: please don’t apologize for writing a long post because I welcome all of it!

third of all: AHHHHHH!!! x2 This message was the best thing I could’ve ever seen today (especially as I’m struggling to work on the next chapter). Thank you so much for reading and loving my story 🥺 and taking the time to express it to me, it means more than you know. I love reading about your favorite aspects of the story! Also thank you for the support on this becoming a novel...sometimes it’s hard to stay focused on your dreams/goals when you’re feeling like shit so thanks for the motivation!! I hope you have a great day, anon!

My Hopes for Picard Season 2

Have some rambly writing while I practice social distancing! Under the cut are my ideas of things I would like to see in the second season of Star Trek: Picard.

More of Laris and Zhaban.

These were two excellent characters that felt somewhat underused -- Zhaban in particular, as Laris got most of the important scenes and dialogue. Their backstory is only really given in the comics, and I’d love to see it explored properly in an actual episode. Either let them join the crew, or give an episode actually devoted to them. Perhaps some former Tal Shiar connections hunt them down, and the La Sirena crew must protect them? I don’t know, but there’s a lot of potential there.

Consequences for Picard’s android body.

Putting Picard’s consciousness into the android body was rather predictable, and seemed a deus ex machina ending for him to simply escape his terminal condition scot-free. He’s essentially the same as he was, and nothing has changed. I would love to see season 2 actually give us drawbacks for this decision. Maybe his android body has some quirks he wasn’t expect. Maybe he breaks down, or someone can hack his programming. Just allow for this major decision to be a defining point of his character going forward, not a snap fix where everything is magically the same.

More xBs.

The xBs were built up as such a good plot point, a group of people to support and rally behind, but then hardly got to do anything. I’d love to see more xBs in season 2, get to know more of them personally, experience their struggles re-integrating into society, and watch characters like Picard and Seven step in to directly help them adjust.

Justice for Hugh.

Hugh’s death was by far the most hated plot point of the season (at least with everyone I’ve spoken to). To bring back this character, make him into someone so warm and wise and instantly lovable, only to kill him off in such a shocking yet underwhelming way -- it’s deeply unfair and honestly harmed the story more than it helped. I’m not saying they should just snap their fingers and bring him back -- they did it with Culber in Discovery season 2, and imho it didn’t work at all -- but if there is a way to organically bring him back and weave him into the story once more, I welcome it. If that’s not possible, then let his presence and death hold greater weight so that he can be given greater meaning at least retroactively.

Consequences for Agnes.

Agnes’s murder of Bruce Maddox was rather brushed aside in the finale, and I don’t think that’s something to be forgotten so easily. I feel the characters should be much less reluctant to trust her, and she should be reluctant to trust herself. I hope to see her explored further in season 2, rather than simply brushing the whole thing aside.

Less Data.

Don’t get me wrong -- I love Data. He’s one of my all time favorite Star Trek characters. But he took over this season, and not always in a good way. The focus was often on him and his legacy, at the expense of other characters both past and present. He was shoehorned into the finale in the strangest way, and personally, his second death scene had absolutely no weight because of that. Brent Spiner says he’s done with the part, and I hope it sticks this time, because as much as I will miss him, Data’s time is done. Let him rest. (I also never want to hear Blue Skies ever again. We’ve done it to death now. Literally.)

More returning characters (and storylines).

While I don’t want past characters taking up all the screentime, I would like to see more coming back. Season 1 felt odd at times when Picard really should have called on old friends like Geordi, Worf, or Beverly for help, and instead he called on new characters the audience had never seen before. There’s a wealth of past characters to bring here -- the most obvious choices being the rest of TNG’s cast. But there’s also Voyager’s cast, which would work well with Seven of Nine. And we can’t forget Deep Space Nine’s cast! There’s much potential to bring back old characters in new ways, and while the thought does make me nervous, for the most part I respect the decisions made for returning characters and generally trust them with the rest.

More development for Narek.

Boy band Romulan here was tragically underdeveloped, only really becoming interesting in the finale when he began playing more of a wild card role. It’s clear there’s much more potential with his character than what they’ve seen, and I’d love to see him continue that unpredictable role with unsure allegiances. Perhaps even a redemption arc? I’m not sure exactly what I want from him, really. Just more than what we’ve been given so far.

More development for Soji.

I don’t think Soji is a bad character. I just think she was sadly underwritten. I can tell you all about what she is, but not who she is. What are her interests? Her motivations? What drives her as a person? I frankly have no idea. The writers have made the mistake of thinking that giving her a mystery is the same as giving her a personality. That needs to be fixed. While it’s easy to pin some of the blame on Isa Briones, I don’t think she’s really a bad actress. She just has so little to work with.

More Elnor.

No character in the series is as tragically sidelined as Elnor. After his introduction episode, he essentially tags along for the rest of the plot, watching as the other characters do everything. You could write him out of the series entirely with very little effort. And it makes me sad because he’s a great character! I want to see him take part in driving the plot next season, and focus further on him as a character.

More Seven of Nine.

Seven was absolutely fantastic in season 1. It was implied that she’s joining La Sirena’s crew, and I’d love her to be a main character next season. There’s clearly much more to her story to explore, including her guilt at now being a killer. And as I said above, I’d like to see Voyager characters return. Imagine seeing Seven opposite Janeway! Or Tuvok! Or the Doctor! It’d be so good.

More holograms, and hologram rights issues.

Rios’s holo-squad grew on me a lot as the series progressed, and I’d like to see even more holograms aside from them. This season focused so heavily on android rights, while largely ignoring the same issues in holograms despite the obvious parallels. Voyager started a trajectory of discussing whether holograms were sentient, primarily with the Doctor, and this series is poised to continue that same issue. You could even bring back those very characters, and let the Doctor, Zimmerman, and Barclay chime in on the issue. It’s a plot point ripe for the picking.

Less serialization.

Full serialization is not a bad thing. There are many shows that pull it off near flawlessly. But I don’t think it’s necessarily the right choice for Star Trek. Letting episodes stand on their own to focus on more individualized plots allows for a greater wealth of storytelling and puts the focus primarily on the characters. This season felt a bit unbalanced at times as it tried to tie all the characters and sideplots together into one, but a more episodic approach would largely negate these issues. There should absolutely be a flow between episodes, and perhaps even a build to a grander finale, but overall I think a slightly more segmented style of storytelling would ultimately be the better one.

More Federation nuance.

One of my biggest gripes with season 1 was its portrayal of the Federation. While I do like taking a harder look at the Federation’s mistakes, especially from such a beloved StarFleet officer like Picard, the show did take a pretty sharp turn from showing the Federation as a perfect utopia to showing them as selfish cowards who put fear before compassion. But it’s a complex organization with complex issues. Picard’s conversation with Clancy implied that there were valid political reasons to withdraw from Romulus, even if it wasn’t necessarily the humanitarian thing to do. I would love to see it explored further, without falling so heavily on one side or the other. The Federation is ultimately trying to be a force for good, but it’s certainly a flawed organization that can cause harm if it isn’t careful. Different characters may have very different views of it, and different levels of what nonsense they are willing to tolerate from it. It’s certainly a hard line to balance in storytelling, but it can be done -- Deep Space Nine did it damn near flawlessly. Be more like Deep Space Nine, Picard.

And that’s all I’ve got for now!

If you actually made it all the way down here, thanks for reading <3

Locke and Key Review: 6.5/10

Ok so I just finished Locke and Key! Let me start by saying no, I have not read the comics and have absolutely no outside knowledge from the comics. This long rambling review of my thoughts are solely based on the show.

From those of you who have watched it understand that their are plot holes...like A LOT, but there’s honestly just too many to harp on. Overall I had a fun time watching; however, I am also extremity biased to any and all fictitious content relating to an old creepy mansion, more often then not located somewhere in New England, that centers around a family, so this show was just asking to be watched by me. 

Like come on guys, WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO LIVE HERE!!! Also the house isn't even really haunted, it just has some debatably creepy magic keys. 

THE LOCKE KIDS:

I think we can all agree the Locke children might not always have the brightest ideas. Bode (while the youngest) definitely carried the majority of the brain cells throughout the show. To be honest I know Tyler is looking to be a fan favorite, but I thought he was a bit boring. Once he got over the guilt of thinking he was the one responsible for his dads death there just wasn't much left for his character to over come. Kinsey I thought was actually the most interesting of the siblings. Sure, she also made me want to pull my hair out at every stupid decision she made, but all of that occurred after taking out her fear! I’m hoping that her fear, and therefore her lack of, will play more of a role in the next season because I really loved her and Scot and he cared about her even before her fear was taken out. 

DODGE:

Ok so what the HELL?!? First of all didn't Ellie TELL the Locke’s that she could be trapped in the Well House, but of course they had to go with a proper bang of bad ideas. The entire concept of her character I thought was a bit underdeveloped and under utilized. She's a demon I guess I just wanted her to be scarier maybe. Or at least learn more about her. I always love a good villain, but not knowing anything at all about Dodge made her a flat character. 

DIFFERENT IDEAS FOR THE SHOW:

So if you’re still reading here’s what I really came to talk about and that’s all my thoughts and ideas of how the show could’ve been....better. As I said before I haven’t read the comics so I’m just basing this off of my own ideas.

First I think the show really would’ve benefited from a duel narrative. The first 5 episodes were slow and lacked generating suspense and questioning for the viewers. Imagine if the show was split between Randell Locke and his friends in high school discovering the keys and then paralleled the children discovering them. It would have created more of a diverse layout in learning what each key did if it was split between the two narrative. Then we would also get to learn a lot more of Randell, his past, and his friends.   

Second, now this idea is a little undeveloped, but I feel something there so bare with me. I almost wanted the show to focus on the kids more. They revealed the fact that adults couldn’t remember magic, so I thought it would be interesting to have any adult presence more removed from the story. I wanted them to be more on the outside and completely unaware of the bubble of action happening before them. In other words I wanted the children to be more isolated from parental supervision. This same theme could be paralleled in both narrative of Randell and Friends and the Locke Kids. 

Thanks for sticking around! Might come back and add some thoughts about the ending and all its twist and turns.   

What do you think about Deacon and Sarah's relashionship in days gone? I personally think that it's the cutest love story ever, like, imagine live your live thinking the love of your life is dead and then you find out she's not.

First off, I am really sorry that I am answering this over 2 months late. I actually started writing my response awhile back and it turned into a long rambling mess because I was in my feelings. But then I forgot about it and life just got so busy and stressful.

But here it is, if you or anyone is interesting in reading it. I may have gotten a little too caught up in it it, but it is what it is :)

_______________________________________

I LOVE DEACON AND SARAH!!!!!!! Their relationship is one of my favorite things in Days Gone, but I do have my gripes about them. I think there should’ve definitely been more development between them. I mean we got their “meet cute” and glimpses of their relationship, but since it was mostly via flashbacks and in pieces, it felt very….underdeveloped to me. I understand it’s not the main focus of the story, but it’s definitely a driving point of the narrative for Deacon. I just enjoy my ships having complete sequential narratives, rather than broken pieces that jump around and only give me brief glimpses of the relationship. 

But I get it, the structure of video game story telling is completely different than tv shows and movies that get the luxury of telling a developing story over the span of many hours (or over the span of years). I’m not really a gamer so I feel like that’s the wrong mindset to have by…not necessarily penalizing the writing of a video game, but being aware that there’s going to be an obvious difference in story framing for different types of media.

However….outside of the narrative structure (or lack of), I really did enjoy Deacon and Sarah’s relationship for what it is. It definitely exceeded my expectations in the fact that Sarah played a much more significant role than I ever thought she would. She wasn’t heavily featured in the marketing for the game, so I just assumed she was just going to be a device for Deacon’s broody man pain. I expected her to be killed by or because of whatever caused people to turn to freakers. But that wasn’t the case at all. I will admit that Deacon’s optimism of Sarah still being alive after everything that happened was one of the best things about the character. His resolve and determination is very admirable.

Because even though the world had fallen to shit, that hope was what had driven him to survive for as long as he did. But in a way, it could also be seen as as a weakness because in a way it felt like a crutch. I think back to the scene when Deacon and Boozer get into a physical fight and Boozer says “Where’s your old lady, Deek?” and Deacon replies “She’s dead, Boozer.” And Boozer says “She’s been dead a long time. So don’t you think that you’ve mourned her long enough?” That exchange really struck me because it showcases the difference between the characters of Deacon and Boozer. Which is kinda irrelevant to this subject, but it shines light on how strong Deacon’s love for Sarah was….versus how insensitive Boozer was (or came off to be) to his friend’s emotional attachment of his wife. And it was also sad to see Deacon admit defeat. Because he’d been going on all these quests seeking any bit of information on finding Sarah alive, only for it to lead to nothing (until it doesn’t). Because that optimism kept her alive in his heart and he didn’t want to admit to failure by having to face the tragic truth of his loss. That’s no way meant to be an insult to Boozer by the way. I love him and the Deacon/Boozer relationship is actually my favorite in the game.

But I do have to say, at first I honestly wanted Sarah to actually be dead. I thought that would’ve had a much greater emotional impact on Deacon and it just seemed to fit the story better in my eyes. When it reveals that she’s alive, I was so disappointed when I first saw it. But now that I’ve had time to digest the story and sit on it for awhile, I’ve had a change of mind. I think the reason it disappointed me so much at first is because the reveal and their reactions to seeing each other again after so long felt so underwhelming to me. Sarah is a key element of what was driving the story. 

And while the fact that she was alive was not what I expected (or initially wanted), the reveal of it was extremely underwhelming the first time I saw that scene. But I think that’s due to buildup of my own expectation. That if Sarah was alive and Deacon found her, I wanted it to be a more “fairytale-esque” reunion where boy and girl fall into each other’s arms and kiss and cry because I’m such a hopeless romantic in that way. But I‘ve since rewatched their reunion scene and I changed my mind because that element just doesn’t work in this setting at all. In fact, it was beautiful the way it is. Because it’s more realistic. Obviously their story isn’t going to pick up right where it left off. Yes, they’re still in love with each other, but there’s been a lot of time and trauma between them that it would’ve been more satisfying to me if there had been more awkwardness and tension between them. And they’d have to sort of relearn everything about each other because they’ve probably undergone personality changes from having to adapt to the way they world is when they reunite versus how they were when they left each other. 

In the grand scheme of things, what happened in game much more enjoyable than if it had been all sunshine and rainbows between them like I’d wanted to in my own personal fantasy.

But because we are seeing the game through Deacon’s eyes (and because there’s a time skip between flashbacks and present time), we don’t get to see how Sarah coped being separated from her husband and how she came to terms with Deacon’s “death”. When they were alone and she let her guard down, she kept repeating that Deacon is dead and he’s supposed to be dead because she’d obviously moved on with her life, as opposed to him still holding out hope and actively searching for her. Their kiss in that scene was perfect because she’s the one that initiates it. Sarah being alive feels more satisfying to me now because with Deacon being the point of view character for the story, it’s like a…..reward? Like how at long last, the consistency and longevity of his hope that she wasn’t dead and will to find her was worth something. How even though everything was against him and everyone, including his best friend and perhaps even Sarah herself because she herself had given up on him, wanted him to give up on her still being alive. 

Going back to what I said about it not being all “sunshine and rainbows”, I greatly appreciate the fact that they don’t jump right back in to the romance like nothing happened in those 2 years they were apart. Deacon tried to do just that when he takes Sarah’s hand and attempts to whisk her away from the camp being the “romantic hero” (maybe he wasn’t thinking that highly of himself, but the archetype weirdly fits that perspective), but she refuses. Deacon obviously had a “hopeless romantic” outlook on the situation’s outcome. It’s nice to see when that side of him comes out. But it just makes me wonder if he ever daydreamed about finding Sarah, being the hero rescuing her from danger, and they’d ride off in the sunset together picking up where their story left off. And in the end we eventually do get that “fairytale ending” for them, but not without bumps in the road. Mainly their difference in ideology is what creates tension and distance between them. But in the end, it’s almost as if they fell in love with each other all over again. And it was beautiful.

I also have to point out that the chemistry between Sam and Courtnee Draper is beyond beautiful and everything that makes Deacon and Sarah’s relationship worth being invested in. It’s not a bland and boring run of the mill seen it all before heterosexual romance that I initially thought it was going to be. I thought Sarah more or less was just going to be a footnote in Deacon’s story. A tragedy in his life that shaped him into the cynical person hardened by harsh life experiences. A part of his backstory. And yes, all that *IS* true, but Sarah was so much more. She is a very important piece to the narrative. You put the pieces together and she is in fact the true catalyst to the main story of how the freaker virus was created and spread. Deacon takes the audience to Sarah, but she is probably the most important character because she and her occupation is what establishes the conflict and is the driving point of the narrative (and Deacon’s motivation) up until the point that he finds her.

All in all, Deacon and Sarah’s relationship is so much more complex than I initially thought. And now that I’ve processed some thoughts and put things into perspective, I love and appreciate it more than I did before now.

I did not expect this to turn into some kind of essay analyzing their relationship, but once I started writing, I couldn’t stop. Mostly because I’ve kept my deep thoughts about Days Gone to myself and haven’t really expressed anything in lengthy detail. So it just came spewing out of me. 

But it really helped me put my thoughts into perspective and I enjoyed writing this. I hope it all makes sense. Thank you for the thought provoking question that I’ve completely spiraled. And I’m sorry it took me so long to reply. My love for Deacon and Sarah has grown so much more now. I hope there will be a sequel that’ll hopefully deliver more on my shipper’s pipe dream of romance between them. Or there can be more angst. I’m down for that too. :)

Hi, Ais! I had read The Foxhole Court trilogy thanks to you and I loved it! (not as much as I loved ICoS hehe). Can you recommend me more books as good as TFC and ICoS? It can be fantasy or fiction, M/M romance would be great too. What are your favorites? Please help me find something good!

Yaaay! I’m so glad! God I love that series T_T Nora write more everything plzzzzzz

It’s like me with One Piece, lol; it’s a life’s goal to keep recommending AFTG/TFC to everyone I meet who may be even a little bit interested XD And like OP, if I ever hear anyone ends up reading/liking it I get so happy lol

[[Oh damn - also I always fail to tell people this and just realized, RIGHT BEFORE POSTING, I should probably go back up and mention - FYI I’m working on an LGBTQIA+ fantasy/sci-fi series called Wildwood Rising, first book is Incarnations. In case you’re curious. I’m editing it super slowly atm, but on my Patreon I give updates here and there on it. Anyway read the glossary + first 4 chapters for free here, although I’ve actually done some editing which will make the chapters change so keep in mind that’s super draft mode. More info at my writing masterlist if you need it.]]

Anyway I have a few thoughts on recs, but FIRST - I have to give a disclaimer. Also even the disclaimer has to be under a cut apparently because RAMBLING

DISCLAIMER - so you know whether or not to listen to any of my opinions:

I am an extremely character-driven reader. I like stories that have plots, absolutely, because I usually can guess the ending of a plot a few steps into a story and that gets boring and old fast. 

Which is probably why to me, characters are the most important part of a story, as is character progression. 

I need to feel like I get that character, whether or not I agree with them every moment of their choices, and if the story is a romance with a couple, I have to truly be sold on the idea that THESE TWO should be together, not just because they happen to fulfill tropes of whatever is currently most popular in whatever genre, but rather because they actually fit as two human beings who I could realistically see falling in love. 

I also really like reading stories of people STAYING in love if it has to be a romance; I get really bored by stories that spend all this time getting someone together, and the whole thing is believable until sex gets involved and suddenly they’re instabanging and then that’s the end of the story. Because sex = healthy relationship?? idk, it’s honestly probably the fact I’m asexual that this is a pet peeve of mine. 

Anyway this is absolutely not shade but so many books which people think of as “m/m” have a totally different vibe than what I tend to want to read. They are often written specifically to be sort of male sexual romance books in which the point of the story is to get two dudes together sexually and then if there’s story beyond that, bonus Jonas, and if not, well, at least they whipped their dicks out on page. 

I’m not at ALL knocking this type of book, or people who like reading those sorts of books. There’s damn good reason to write and read those sorts of books, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them. I mention this only to say that for me, as a reader, my attention span is soooooo short dude. I have little to no attention for stories that revolve almost completely around sex, especially if the sex isn’t even built into the character progression.

But here’s where there’s a huge difference for me: the characters.

If I connect with the characters, I will read almost anything. I’m a reader who’s phenomenally biased toward reading character progression and preferring a mixture of darkness with lightness in the story - dark themes but also humor, some sort of balance like that. Whether or not characters have sex, whether or not there’s a solid romance at the base of it, whether or not a lot of things I care about less than I care about connecting with the characters.

Ideally for me, a book series or even a singular book has a good plot that’s interesting, great characters, great character progression, and a variance in emotions combined with solid enough worldbuilding that I feel like I’m there. But for me, to read and recommend something, I could give a lot of passes on an underdeveloped plot if the characters and their progression is great enough, but if it’s the best plot in the world and the characters don’t grip me I will never recommend it. 

Also, again, this is no shade to m/m as a genre, and more of an explanation of my phenomenally short attention span and super pickiness as a reader… but I find that a lot of the stories I try reading that are marketed as m/m start out strong for me as a reader, but by the end I’m less enamored. The ending is too abrupt or I don’t like the dynamic of the main couple or the vibe is off or the plot is too easy to predict or etc etc. So I really only have a very small list of m/m I ever recommend tbh - I tend to like stories that aren’t specifically written to have gay/LGBTQ male leads but rather feel like they are a story which happens to feature LGBTQ/gay male leads. That may seem like a minor difference but for me, the vibe between the two is massively different, and can dictate whether I love something all the way through or not. 

I just wanted to mention that because I know not everyone feels the same way, so if you really love plot more than characters, you may want to take some of my recs with a grain of salt because you may find you don’t love them as much as I do, and you love other things more. I feel like honestly I’m way too picky of a reader probably, so other people probably have much better lists.

(Oh yeah btw, all of this is me framing things as a reader. To be clear: I’m not saying AND IN CONCLUSION I AM THUS A BETTER WRITER or anything at all like that lol I’m not a better writer than anyone tbh. I’m just saying as an extremely picky reader, these are stories I like and/or things I think others should give a try if it speaks to them)

M/M:

DEFINITELY RECOMMEND

Raised by Wolves by W.A. Hoffman is my other favorite m/m series along with TFC/AFTG, and I have been recommending the two at the same time for literal years. This post is me waxing poetic about it and why I love it. So is this post. Also here too which tells you the book order etc. I love the hell out of that series, but it’s definitely the sort of series that people may have a strong reaction to for various reasons. Let’s just say if you were to actually do a bunch of trigger warnings for ICoS, the list would be long. RBW would have a similar list that’s similarly long, probably. I need to read the latest story that came out from RBW a year or two ago; only reason I haven’t is I totally want to reread the story from the start but goddamn that’s an undertaking if I do lol I might though, after I finish my current ebook read. This series is finished (well, idk what the newest short story is about but as for the main series, it’s done)

MOSTLY RECOMMEND

Psycop by Jordan Castillo Price - one of my flaws, probably, is that I’m too honest, and I don’t ever mean to be a dick but I also can’t stand the idea of misleading anyone or lying. So in all honesty, the plot on this series can be kind of frustratingly light or predictable at times. HOWEVER, I looooove the characters. I frickin LOVE Victor Bayne, the MC. I’d started this series ages ago, read through like book idk 5? 6? and got kind of frustrated by some plot stuff, never finished reading the series. Recently I randomly remembered it and decided to try it again. I read all the way through all 10 books and then almost immediately started over again because I was curious to reread from the beginning knowing some things now. There are some things this series does super well, IMO, and I could do a whole post on this series if anyone wants. But tl;dr is I really like the worldbuilding of the psychic powers, I LOVE how Victor’s such an unreliable narrator and how the series deals with showing the way anxiety and addiction and etc affects the mind, and I LOVE how the main couple at first seems super like wtf?? in terms of how quickly it comes on (like, literally, first chapter - just read it lol) but the more you read, you see how perfect they actually are for each other. One thing too: I almost didn’t read the 8th book (Skin After Skin) because it’s got a minor character as the main POV and I wasn’t sure I wanted to break my roll going with Victor as MC. But I did read it and I’m very glad I did. If you read this, DEFINITELY read book 8 where it is in series - it gives you a really good, more objective view of the main couple, plus it’s interesting seeing the characters from a totally different viewpoint than Victor. The series is ongoing but I still recommend it. If you want to check it out, JCP has the first half of the first book available for free to read, and you can buy the books on Amazon etc - http://psycop.com/stories/ATLexcerpt.html#buybook

NOT SURE YET IF I RECOMMEND

Widdershins by Jordan L Hawk - This is the first book in a series called Whyborne & Griffin, of which it looks like from the quickest glance at Amazon so far there are 10 books? I’m trying to do next to no research on the series because I want to be surprised. Kobo tells me I’m about 23% through the first book, just about to start chapter 8. I have this listed under “not sure yet if I recommend” because as aforementioned, I have a tendency to have a totally different view of a book or series in m/mdom at the beginning vs end of the first book or the books in the series as a whole. So far I really like it though, and I hope it remains a vibe I can get behind, because right now I’m really enjoying it :) I love nerdy MCs. Languages are my jam, man.

OTHER SERIES I LIKE

I’m mostly just gonna say titles/authors on these with short mentions because this is so long but I can talk more on any if you want:

The Tamir Triad by Lynn Flewelling (sometimes called by its first book: The Bone Doll’s Twin). I don’t want to say too much on this so I don’t spoil you on anything. It’s kind of dark and pretty richly written, though.

Six of Crows + Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo. I talk about the series here, and talk about “if Kaz were in ICoS, he...” here.

Plus a bunch of other mentions of authors or books here

LASTLY - non-book recs aka shows? I totally recommend the tv show Lucifer, just sayin. And Brooklyn 99. And Nate and Jeremiah By Design but that’s getting into the HGTV territory of the world so I should probably stop.... lol

Dragon Age questions

!!!!!!!!!!! i was tagged by the lovely @bitchesofostwick (thank you so much!!!) and i’m not tagging anyone because i’m late to this (sorry, i didn’t do it immediately when i saw it and in my usual fashion i forgot for a few days. >_>) so i know basically everyone i would tag has already been tagged. but anyway, let’s get on with it!!

p.s. this’ll be long because i ramble. ❤️

01) favorite game of the series? i’d say inquisition, probably. i rather like the character creator and the open-world feel of it. i like the gameplay of it too. it also gets bonus points because it’s the only game i know how to mod even a little, which makes me happy because i can get characters that are 100% unique to me. :]

02) how did you discover Dragon Age? Shit, nearly a decade ago i remember finding this disc for a game called Dragon Age: Origins lying around one day. it was my brother’s and i can’t remember where he said he got it, but anyway it was damaged and wouldn’t play anyway. i didn’t give a rat’s ass about it tbh. my thoughts of it went no further. it wasn’t until about three years later that my brother bought it for the 360 and i saw him play a bit and then learned that there was a character creator and I FUCKING LIVED (AND STILL DO) for games with character creators. so my happy ass started playing!!!! (that was the very first version of my Tabris, Lark!) shortly after that i purchased it for PC and the rest is history!

03) how many times you’ve played the games? I’ve completed Origins only once. I’ve started a few playthroughs, but i’ve never gotten very far. :/ oh, and i also completed Awakening once. i’ve completed DA2 i believe twice. Again, i’ve started multiple playthroughs, just never finished them all. and basically the same for Inquisition, tbh. i’ve done one playthrough without Trespasser and one with. OR i might have just loaded up the finished save and played Trespasser when i bought it. xD in any case i’ve played each game through at least once.

04) favorite race to play as? i don’t really see it as favorites? in Inquisition i’ve technically created a couple characters for each race (except a dwarf. haven’t gotten around to making a dwarf quizzy yet) but most of them are just “throwaway” characters that i make to romance people because i want to try all the romances but i can’t make every character i create into like, a character character, that exists fully in my head and outside the game. so any characters you hear about from me are ones that have really stuck out to me in one way or another. anyway the only warden i ever made that mattered any was Lark, who is of course an elf. i like them all tbh! i was rather excited about being able to play a badass qunari chick, though! (even though my first character was a human. go figure.)

05) favorite class? mage!!!!! when first played Origins i made Lark a warrior. idk for sure why, but i think it was because i didn’t want a character in the Circle. i wanted a city elf. idk why i picked warrior over rogue though. my first Hawke was a warrior. again, idk why. my second Hawke was a mage, and I. FELL. IN. LOVE. i loved the fighting animations, i loved the spells, i just…. i loved. when i finally was able to play DAI (which was a few years after it was released) my first character was a mage. again, i loved it. however, when i went back to DAO at one point and tried being a mage i was not a fan of it. i didn’t like the way it played. BUT OVERALL my favorite is definitely mage. :]

06) do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time? the same. it might be sad and pitiful, but in-game decisions give me real-world feelings and anxiety so i just make the decisions that stay in my comfort zone. :] sometimes i’m brave and try different things, but for the most part i make the same decisions.

07) go-to adventuring group? Disclaimer: if applicable, i take my LI everywhere i go. :] i honestly try to take a variety of people because i want a balanced team as much as possible. i’m also a very casual player, so i don’t use the tactical camera or like, the behavior patterns or anything. i leave everything default. so i try to mix and match and come up with a team that i feel best compliments my character’s class/abilities or whatever, without me having to babysit them or really do any work in regards to that. that AND i like to hear the different banters tbh. when i’m picking my team sometimes i’ll stop and think, “omg, what is [character] and [character]’s relationship really like??? i never take them together so i don’t know!!” so i’ll expand my horizons and take groups of companions that i don’t normally take together. that being said, I LOVE ALL THE COMPANIONS ALL THE TIME SO I DON’T PLAY FAVORITES. :]

08) which of your characters did you put the most thought into? Probably Sydnie, because she was the first game character that really developed into an OC. the first one i really wanted to try writing for. my first Inquisitor. :] she was the first (game) character that, as i was playing, i really sat and thought, “what would this living being with a soul do when presented with this situation?” instead of just clicking whatever. xD anyway, ideas just came flying at me when i thought about her. overall i feel like she’s very underdeveloped still as far as character’s go, but i love her and i’ve been thinking a lot more about her lately. i’d really love to finish writing something for her eventually. xD

09) favorite romance? oh man, idk. tbh i’ve not finished all of the romances so a part of me wants to be like, “i can’t really answer this tbh”. Lark romanced Alistair, and it was cute and i love them. (i’ve toyed with the idea of writing some stuff for them and it’d be so cute if i could actually get my ass into gear.) i really liked Fenris’s romance (and DA2 was the only game that i played through more than one companion’s romance.) and Cullen is the only one i’ve completed a romance for in DAI, though i played most of Josie’s and i’m love. :] honestly i really do feel like there really isn’t an answer from me for this one. sorry! D:

10) have you read any of the comics/books? nope. i was thinking of maybe getting The Masked Empire but i haven’t fully decided yet. i unfortunately don’t read books much these days. (i’d rather be on my comp playing games or arting or maybe reading fic!!)

11) if you read them, which was your favorite book? n/a

12) favorite DLCs? i am so fucking ambivalent wtf. seriously, people. i’m coming to learn that there are few things i have an actual feelings on either way. -___- Trespasser is the only big DLC i own and i fucking hate it. it’s great and all but i kind of cried at the end so whatever. :] but honestly i really really like the Spoils of the Qunari DLC!!!!! the antaam-saar!!!!!! (i think i spelled it right idk i’m too lazy to check please forgive me) and the mount!!!!! good stuff. i own (i think) all of the DLC for DA2 and i like them all well enough. i also own all for DAO and i like them well enough. i’ve only ever played the DAO in-game DLC as well as Awakening (meaning no Leli’s Song, no Witch Hunt, etc.) i just never got around to it. anyway, really. not really playing favorites here either. xD

13) things that annoy you. not much tbh. i suppose it’s annoying that sometimes in some games i’m sitting here like, “okay, why did my character just say these words? that wasn’t what the words that i clicked on said. ?????????”

14) Orlais or Ferelden? Ferelden! because it’s more rustic and i like that. :3 also mabaris.

15) templars or mages? mages. though i do believe there’s an argument to be had about the treatment of both groups at the hands of the chantry. but still mages. :]

16) if you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one? obviously i intend to have and OC HOF, champion, and inquisitor all in one universe. i’ve had a hard time trying to figure out which characters i want to be canon and which aren’t. i’ve also toyed with the idea of having multiple world states that act as their own individual canons, but that’s a lot of work and like… lazy. :] for a while i just figured Lark was my canon warden no canon Hawke thus far and Sydnie my canon Inquisitor. but idk.

17) what did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc) UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM………………….. one of the mabaris in the first two games was named Charlemagne (i think my Hawke’s dogs are always Charlemagne) and i think Lark’s dog was… omg hold on i have it documented somewhere. *a few minutes later* Shawshank! Lark’s dog’s name is Shawshank.

18) have you installed any mods? yes because i’m garbage that is privileged enough to be a computer gamer and can install mods. i also really like having mods and making mods so yes. yes i install mods. :]

19) did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden? not particularly, though she didn’t mind having to leave the alienage. she’d be dead or worse if she’d stayed and also she would have attempted to run away long before shit hit the fan if she didn’t have her family to think about. she still cared for her family and she did feel some sadness over leaving them, but it was like her soul made a sigh of relief and a weight was lifted. she was truly happy to leave. becoming a Grey Warden was sort of like a not completely unpleasant side effect.

20) hawke’s personality? i don’t really have a Hawke atm but I generally tend to play blue Hawkes.

21) did you make matching armor for your companions in Inquisition? no and they should all thank the maker because every fucking one of ‘em would be in plaidweave and that’s that on that.

22) if your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change? ugh this is too much thinking for me. why are there so many questions?!??!?!!? anyway idk. i think Sydnie would change the way she let herself react to a really bad thing that happened in the circle. because she reacted the way she did, it completely changed who she was and it takes her a long time to get herself back. sorry it’s vague but that’s just how these things go sometimes. :] Lark doesn’t really live in the past, if that makes sense? she doesn’t dwell on things enough to regret. why change the past when you can own this day???? as a certain cheeky lesbian elf apparently says maybe. :3

23) do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon? kind of, but mostly small things, and generally only things that pertain directly to my character. also i like to switch things up when it comes to romances. :] i try to take the basics of the in-game romance arc and tailor it a bit more to what i envision. or just what i want. ;D so i guess that could maybe be considered off canon, though i don’t really see the romances as canon anyway.

24) are any of your character(s) based on someone? no. not intentionally, anyway. it would take me way too long to explain my thought processes when it comes to creating characters (and this bitch is already long enough at this point) so i won’t go into details. :] so basically no, i don’t ever really set out to base characters on people. maybe subconsciously it happens? idk.

25) who did you leave in the Fade? my first playthrough was the default world state so i sacrificed Stroud because of course i did. with the custom world state i have now i sacrificed Hawke. D: because you know i’m not sacrificing Alistair!!!! especially not after he said the stuff about Lark and them being together AND I COULDN’T TAKE THAT AWAY. also it wasn’t like it was MY Hawke, because i don’t have an actual OC Hawke it was quite easy to sacrifice her because i had no real attachment to her. anyway don’t fucking ask me who i’ll sacrifice when i finally get around to actually deciding on my canons and their world state because I DON’T KNOW AND I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT. thank you. :]

26) favorite mount? i don’t use mounts much actually. i like hearing banter. that being said, i really like the way the qunari horse looks. i also like the harts and i don’t care what anyone else says i love their nails-on-chalkboard screech. fight me if you must but i said what i said. :]

THANKS SO MUCH TO ANYONE WHO READS THIS I APPRECIATE YOU LETTING ME WASTE YOUR TIME!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️