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fanfictionaries · 4 years

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Oh So Many Years: Ch. 16 - Flame Twin

Pairing: Hermione Granger x Fred Weasley

Summary:

What happens when two Weasleys get too involved?

Absolute chaos.

Warnings: Swearing, Death, Smut/18+ NSFW

Author’s Note:

OKAY! After 14 hours of traveling back home yesterday I fell asleep editing this chapter! So...I mean I do and I don't have any excuse for that. Thank you for your patience!

I am back to updating every week before midnight on Sundays (US MST)!

I hope you have as much fun reading this chapter as I did writing it! And as always, please, please, please feel free to like, comment, and reblog. I LOVE interacting with you all!!

Masterlist

<<<Chapter 15

You are the hider

I am the seeker

My twin, I’m in flames

I’m rolling about

I have a name

You call me by none

My twin, I’m on fire

Come put me out

George Weasley loved his siblings very much. His eldest brother, Bill, was easily the coolest bloke he knew – somehow being a prefect, Head Boy, and working for Gringotts, without being dull as dishwater. His second eldest brother, Charlie, always knew what to say in a pinch; certainly, the most level-headed person in England, but then he’d have to be to work with dragons for a living. Percy, for all his downfalls, worked harder than anyone he’d ever known and sometimes George secretly wished he had an ounce of his ambition. Ron was always down for a laugh which George liked very much, but he also wasn’t afraid to challenge George more than any of his other siblings. Ginny, his little sister, was unapologetically herself and took zero shite from anyone. She also had a fondness for trouble, in her own special kind of way. But out of all of them, Fred had to be his favourite sibling by far. Sure, he was a bit biased considering Fred was his twin and all, but George reckoned he’d have no trouble disliking Fred if he were any different. While he and Fred were similar in many ways, they were also very distinct. Fred was more outgoing, daring, and had a penchant to take things a bit too far where he was more laid back, erratic, and carefree. George supposed that was because Fred cared more about things than he did. Most people assumed, if they even bothered to assume anything about him and his twin brother’s differences that is, that Fred was the more callous of the two. But where others saw reckless cruelty, George knew it was really the opposite.

Fred cared – a lot. Too much, in George’s opinion. He let his emotions get in the way of his thoughts and it often resulted in him taking things too far. He pushed people past their limits when he thought he knew what was best for them. He punished people too harshly when he felt they deserved it. For example, Fred was the first to suggest they find Percy and beat him to a bloody pulp when he’d made their mother cry. Fred didn’t care what the consequences were. No one made their mother cry.

But he also let the poor actions of those he cared about slide too much. Like with Angelina at the moment – there was no way George would ever put up with his girlfriend ignoring him without any proper excuse. But Fred wasn’t George. So, he sat in silent misery, justifying, and making excuses for why his girlfriend wasn’t in the wrong.

Fred also forgave too easily where it wasn’t deserved. That’s why George knew without a doubt that Fred would be the first to forgive Percy if and when he inevitably apologized, and when Angelina eventually broke his heart, he would probably find some way to make it not her fault.

All these things George loved about his brother. But it was also all these things that led to the one thing George did not love about Fred. He always had to be a bloody martyr.

George knew Fred liked Hermione. He had had a subtle inclination that Hermione liked him back. And after yesterday morning’s little show in their bedroom, there was no question the two had chemistry. The way the electricity sparked between them…George was almost convinced they’d have started ripping each other’s clothes off if he hadn’t reminded them he was there. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say they’d already hooked up before, or something like it. But if that had happened Fred surely would have told him.

In George’s opinion it would be the easiest thing in the world for them to just fess up to each other and finally snog it out. Damn Angelina and damn Ron alike. But that was too easy – no, Fred had to take everyone else’s feelings into account. He couldn’t possibly take what he wanted if it chanced hurting Angelina’s or Ron’s feelings and somehow those factors had made him blind to the way Hermione looked at him. Which only made it worse of course, because he was annoyingly convinced Hermione would never be interested in him. George didn’t know why – he was a handsome chap. But then again, he was a bit biased.

It didn’t surprise him when Fred wasn’t in their room when he’d finally turned in for the night. He was probably somewhere in the house, sulking like the right stubborn prat he was. It was surprising, however, when he’d woken the next morning and found that Fred had never returned to their room. Where could he possibly be? wondered George, stepping out into the hall. He started with the kitchen. Fred was known to wake up early and enjoy a nice cuppa while he waited for the rest of the house to wake up. But the kitchen was empty – no signs of Fred or morning tea anywhere to be found. Peaking into the nearby dining room, he also saw no Fred in sight. Perhaps the parlour, thought George and he walked up to the second floor. Again, no Fred. He was irritated now. Was this tosser really going to make him search the whole bloody house for him?

Stomping across the hall, he thrust the door to the library open and paused. He could just make out the top of Fred’s head, his red hair peaking out at the end of the sofa in front of the fire. George crept quietly across the room, expecting to give his brother a bit of a scare. He supposed the only benefit of having to go searching for his brother would be to get a good laugh out of it. But when he got close enough to peer over the top of the sofa, he didn’t find just Fred. No, instead he found Hermione Granger wrapped around his brother like a Grindylow attacking its prey. Even more curious, Fred was very much awake looking down at Hermione like she was a goddess divine sent from the heavens to please him.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” asked George, crossing his arms and grinning widely.

Fred’s gaze snapped from the girl sleeping on top of him to George. He looked guilty, splendidly so.

“It’s not what it looks like,” whispered Fred, giving Hermione a tense glance when she stirred slightly. Fred only relaxed when he was sure Hermione was still asleep. She nuzzled her face further into his chest and her breathing deepened once again.

George took a step closer, leaning against the back of the sofa and staring down at his brother who was looking especially uncomfortable. “Really? Because it looks like you’re cozied up on the sofa with Hermione,” George whispered back, fighting everything within him that wanted to jump and scream ‘GOTCHA!’.

“We were only talking. She was knackered. She fell asleep.”

“And you just decided to be a gentleman and be her mattress for the night?”

Fred sighed quietly. “I fell asleep too.”

“Mmm, I’m sure.”

“Look, there’s no ulterior motive here. I’m going with Angelina.”

“Sure didn’t look that way when I walked in. Now, correct me if I’m wrong since I’ve never had a girlfriend or anything, but are you allowed to lovingly stroke other girl’s hair when you’re in a relationship?” George tapped a finger to the end of his chin in mock contemplation.

Fred let out a small groan of frustration, trying his best not to wake Hermione in the current situation. “Alright, fine. You’ve had your fun. You’ve taken the mickey out of me. Happy?”

“Not necessarily, no,” answered George, not at all amused by Fred’s lack of fight.

“What do you want from me, mate?” Fred asked in exasperation. He was bordering hysterics and George could almost see a bead of sweat forming at his brow. Good.

“You know what I want.” George fixed him with a pointed stare. He raised his eyebrows expectantly. Now’s the time Freddie boy, thought George.

Fred opened his mouth as if to say something in response, but no sound came out and he quickly closed it, scrunching his brow. This process repeated a few times, making Fred look very much like a fish in George’s opinion. It took a while, but George was willing to wait as long as it took for Fred to give him what he wanted. That’s it, that’s a good boy, you can do it, George thought encouragingly in his mind, hoping that Fred could hear his thoughts.

Finally he answered in a harsh whisper, “Fine! I like her! I’m raving mad about her! I fancy her more than I’ve ever fancied anyone in my life. Are you happy now?”

“Extremely—” George pushed off the back of the sofa and headed towards the library doors “—see you at breakfast.”

An hour later George was seated at the kitchen table, sipping on a cup of earl grey, and flipping through the Daily Prophet. Goblin stock options – boring. New cauldron regulations – boring. Which witch and wizard’s fashion were in and out – double boring. A feel-good piece on the Minister – nauseating. He threw the paper down and folded it roughly with a sigh before pulling out his wand and charming the pages to fold themselves into individual little chickens. He didn’t know why he bothered with the paper anymore. It was just like his father said these days, all a load of rubbish.

The house was mostly awake at this point. George could hear the hustle and bustle of his family combined with the odd Order member. They were always popping in. Sometimes they brought news, sometimes they were simply asking on the whereabouts of other members, and sometimes they simply needed a place to sleep. Despite housing a majority of the Weasley family, Sirius Black, and a full-grown Hippogriff, Grimmauld Place had more than enough room to spare. The kitchen was oddly empty that morning though, not even his mum had come down yet to start on breakfast. George heard the distant shuffle of shoes on hardwood as someone descended the staircase. He sat up a bit straighter hoping it was Fred. They needed to continue their conversation. The fact that Fred had admitted his feelings to George was a good first start; now he just needed to admit those feelings to Hermione.

However, it wasn’t Fred who rounded the corner and entered the kitchen. Instead it was his little sister Ginny, looking incredibly rumpled and cranky.

“Orite, Gin?” George asked, eyeing her misbuttoned blouse and wrinkled shorts. Contrary to the last few days, the morning was uncharacteristically warm and when George had looked out the window earlier he saw nothing but bright sunny skies. Perhaps summer had finally come at last.

“No. It’s going to be such a nice day out and mum’s got us cooped up in this ghastly place! I asked her if we could take the day off and go home to play some quidditch, but she said she found another Doxy nest in one of the fourth floor bedrooms,” whined Ginny, grabbing a loaf of bread from the breadbox on the counter and slicing into it with a sharp knife. “Toast?”

George nodded, watching the paper chickens on the table chase each other down it’s length.

“It’s just mental! We’ve always had chores and I’ve never complained…much, but we’ve also always had time for fun things too. But here it’s like every waking moment is devoted to cleaning this trash heap of a house and for what? Sirius doesn’t care, obviously and if Kreacher cared, well there wouldn’t be this mess in the first place!” She held a piece of bread over the flame of the stove, browning the side before turning it over carefully in her hand and toasting the other side.

“Fuck!” Ginny exclaimed, dropping the toast onto the flame, and sucking on her singed pointer finger. She kept the digit between her lips for a moment before pulling it out of her mouth and inspecting the damage. “You know, this process would go a lot smoother if I had magic.” She shot George a pointed look.

George rolled his eyes good-humouredly. With a flew flicks of his wand the bread began to balance itself over the stove flame, toasting to a golden brown before depositing itself onto a plate. While the bread toasted Ginny grabbed butter and jam from the fridge and placed it on the table before George.

“Why don’t you just try out for the quidditch team Gin? You’re well enough at it,” said George, not really wanting to get into the endless number of chores they did daily. While he agreed, he’d also been listening to Ron and Ginny complain for a month now and he was growing tired of it. At a certain point whinging got you nowhere and it was better to shut up and put up.

“Well enough? I kick yours and Fred’s butt more often then not. I’m bloody fantastic.” Ginny grinned widely, grabbing the now full plate of toast, and walking to the table with it. George grabbed a piece and began to butter it before globbing on an ample amount of raspberry jam. One of the paper chickens pecked at his hand and George broke a piece of his toast off, tossing it to them. The chickens pecked enthusiastically at it and George took a large bite off of the remaining slice. As he chewed, he looked across the table at his sister. She had four slices on her own plate, piled high with butter and jam. The amount was no surprise. Ginny always ate to excess. It was impressive more than anything. He honestly didn’t know where she put it all.

“I think I’d want to try out for chaser this year. Are there any open chaser positions?” asked Ginny, taking a large bite.

Fred shook his head. All the chaser positions were full. Ginny frowned.

“But we need a new keeper. Still haven’t filled the position since Wood left,” George offered kindly.

Ginny made a face that George didn’t quite understand. There was nothing wrong with keeper. It certainly wasn’t as cool as beater, but it was a respectable position. Perhaps it wasn’t exciting enough for his dear sister. She always did enjoy a bit of thrill, just like him and Fred. Speaking of Fred. His twin entered the kitchen looking wary as he sat down at the table and poured himself a cup of tea. Shortly after Ron and Hermione joined them. The atmosphere around the table was tense. Or at least George thought so. Everyone was too quiet. They chewed too slowly, as if the lot of them had stayed up late the night before drinking deeply from a bottle of Firewhisky.

“Everyone excited for a day of Doxy wrangling?” George asked cheerily, trying to lift the mood at the table.

His three companions groaned, their shoulders sagging. Ron, who’d snagged a piece of toast from the pile, dropped his slice onto the table and laid his head in his hands. Honestly, what was everyone’s problem these days? People needed to learn to lighten up, live a little.

George did not try to lift the mood again. Sometimes it just wasn’t worth trying, especially when Fred wasn’t in the spirit to help him. The largest of the paper chickens hopped across the table and pecked at Ginny’s hand. She gave a little giggle. George smiled. At least his little sister could still be agreeable when she was cranky. Looking to the others at the table, George caught Fred and Hermione sharing a look. To anyone else it might seem innocent enough, but George assessed the situation like a trained auror looking for clues. It was much easier to spot things when you were looking for them. Their smiles were a bit too warm, their glances furtive, and whenever they came close to touching they both stuttered away from each other. The idiots clearly liked each other but didn’t want the other to know. Ridiculous.

“Could you pass the sugar please, Fred?” Hermione asked politely, pouring herself a cup of tea from the pot in the middle.

“I’ve got it, ‘Mione!” said Ron enthusiastically. He grabbed the sugar before Fred could reach it and placed it in front of Hermione.

Fred gawped, looking slightly put out, and sat back heavily in his seat. He crossed his arms, decidedly mopey once again. Great.

“…thank you Ron.” Hermione swallowed thickly and began to pile sugar into her cup.

The table fell back into a thick silence. Thankfully, it only lasted for a few moments more as the distant sound of his mother calling them from the parlour on the second floor broke the tension. Ron, Hermione, and Fred seemed to jump from their seats, rocketing towards the door of the kitchen like they’d been waiting at the starting line and his mother’s voice was the signal to run. George and Ginny hung behind, cleaning up the last bits of breakfast before they went to their mother.

“Merlin and Morgana…could you believe the tension between them? Could cut it with a bloody knife,” said Ginny, leaning against the kitchen counter.

George paused, the plates in his hand hovering in the air as he went to place them in the sink. “How did you…?”

“Oh come on George. I mean, it’s pretty obvious they fancy each other. Hermione doesn’t think he does of course. Just wish that brother of ours would finally fess up and tell her. That way we’d finally stop having to watch them make sad puppy eyes at one another.” Ginny laughed, pushing off the counter and heading towards the door out of the kitchen.

George stared at his little sister in disbelief. He clearly hadn’t been giving the girl enough credit. That or Fred and Hermione’s actions were more obvious than he previously thought. Either way, it was nice to know he wasn’t the only one in the house suffering because of them. He just wished there were a way to force them to—

“Ginny! Wait!” George reached out and grabbed his sister’s arm. Ginny spun around, giving him a confused looked. A large smile spread across George’s face and he knew he must look like an absolute maniac in that moment, but he’d just come up with a brilliant idea. An absolutely brilliant, devious idea.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” asked Ginny reproachfully.

“Gin…how would you like to help me with something today?”

“What? Like one of your pranks?”

“No, not a prank. More like a…mission. A mission of love you might call it.”

Ginny’s eyes widened in understanding and her mouth stretched into an equally evil smile.

“Oh George, I thought you’d never ask.”

Fred groaned. Just when he thought the day couldn’t get any worse, life found a way to torture him further. It was a hot day. England had finally found its summer heat and soon the temperature rose so high even the strongest cooling charm couldn’t cut the stifling warmth. As a result the lot of them had divested themselves of their layers until they were as stripped as was proper. Fred, George, and Ron were shirtless as they cleaned out the Doxy nests in the upstairs bedroom. Getting rid of the Doxies had been fairly simple, but the compact, intricate nests they’d made in the wardrobes and drapes was another story. It would have taken less time with wands, but Fred and George had made the mistake of launching one too many Doxies at Ron, and their mother had taken their wands as punishment. Ginny, Ron, and Hermione had glared daggers at them as it really was a punishment for all of them. Now they’d all be forced to remove the nests by hand. Sweat rolled down Fred’s chest as he pulled out an old box from the top of the wardrobe to reveal another clump of nests. Damn Doxies.

Across the room, balancing on a ladder, Hermione prodded at the drapes. Staring at the girl, he thought this must be what they meant when they talked about forbidden fruit. She’d pulled her hair up, twisting it into a knot at the back of her head, but after several hours of work, tendrils had fallen loose, sticking to her damp neck. Her vest top had risen at some point, revealing the creamy skin of her midsection just above a pair of shorts that had to be the tightest things in existence, Fred thought. She hadn’t been wearing them earlier in the day, but after lunch when they’d returned to their work, she’d entered the bedroom and Fred had nearly swallowed his tongue. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say she’d done it on purpose. To torture him. But that wasn’t right. It was foolishly arrogant to assume Hermione wore anything for anyone, especially himself.

In addition to the true agony that Hermione was causing him physically, George was causing him equal turmoil mentally. No, he hadn’t done or said anything, but that was entirely the point. After catching him and Hermione together that morning and finally getting Fred to admit his feelings for the girl, he expected a bit more from his brother. He was sure his twin would pull him aside to continue their conversation, or at the very least make pointed jokes. But there’d been nothing. In fact, it seemed George was hellbent on acting as if that morning never happened.

Fred’s thoughts drifted back to earlier in the library. Once George left, he took a few more minutes to bask in the glory of having Hermione in his arms before he woke her. She had been mildly embarrassed when she roused to find herself wrapped so tightly around him. But Fred played it off like it was no big deal. But despite the moment of embarrassment something definitely felt like it had shifted between the two of them. Fred felt a little less on edge around her and she seemed to be more relaxed around him as well. Perhaps realizing that she could be physically close to him without him making a move had her less concerned about being around him again.

Although Fred figured if Hermione could hear his thoughts at that moment she’d feel anything but an ease. He had to physically bite his tongue when she’d hopped off the ladder and bent over to pick up the duster she’d been using. A tightness formed in the front of his trousers and Fred turned his gaze away, banging his head on one of the open wardrobe doors to. Squeezing his eyes shut tight he thought about boring things like owl post, third year herbology, and potions essays. When that didn’t work he thought of disgusting things like Blast-Ended Skrewts and Hippogriff dung.

“Hermione, could you give me a hand with this please?” asked Ginny, motioning to the second pair of heavy drapes as she attempted to get behind the tangled mess of them.

“Yeah, of course.”

Fred watched as Ginny piled the ends of the drapes into Hermione’s arms. “There’s a nest back here. I think if you lift the drapes high enough, I’ll be able to reach it,” said Ginny, instructing Hermione to lift the drapes higher in her arms.

There really shouldn’t be anything sexy about cleaning out Doxy nests, thought Fred. But as Hermione raised her arms higher and higher, she revealed more of her sweat-slicked body. The wild-haired girl struggled under the weight of the drapes, now hold them high above her head. Fred supposed if he hadn’t been checking out Hermione in that moment, he wouldn’t have seen the way her arms buckled, dropping some of the drapes and tangling them in her legs. Sprinting across the room, he caught her just as she lost her footing, trying to untangle her legs from the heavy material.

“Whoa!” Hermione exclaimed, landing hard in Fred’s arms, as the drapes fell back onto Ginny.

“Hey! Hermione, what gives—oh…you okay?” Ginny had scrambled out of the drapes to see Hermione in Fred’s embrace, looking up at him in surprise. Fred’s mouth went dry as he looked down at the witch in his arms. Her face was delightfully flushed, and he could feel bare skin under his hands. He felt the tightening in his pants return and practically threw Hermione from his hold, stepping away from her.

“Thanks,” Hermione muttered, looking pointedly down at the ground.

“Yeah,” coughed Fred.

He was just about to try and come up with an excuse to flee from the room when his mother entered, looking around the space appraisingly. “I think that’s enough for the day dears. It’s quite hot, why don’t you wrap up and we’ll finish this room tomorrow?”

“Alright, thanks mum,” said George, wiping his grubby hands on his jeans and walking over to swing an arm around Ginny’s shoulders.

“Uck! You’re all sweaty George!” cried Ginny, shrugging off George’s arm in disgust.

George took a moment to assess himself, looking down at his sweaty form. “You’re right Gin. I think I could use a shower actually. What about you lot?”

A chorus of agreement rang through the room from them all and they exited it, heading down to their rooms and more importantly, the bathrooms.

Ginny was only slightly disappointed in herself. Her first “mission” with her older brother George and already she was failing at it. She’d never tell him, but she considered his invitation to be quite the honour. Sure, she’d helped Fred and George with some of their little schemes over the years, but never had one of them asked her specifically to help without the other. At first she wondered why Fred wasn’t involved in their plan, but they she realized it might be because Fred didn’t know Ron was desperately in love with Hermione and vice-versa. Perhaps Ron had only told George in confidence and didn’t want Fred knowing too – Fred was the type to tease Ron more than George would about something like that. Finding out that Ginny was clued in was probably a huge relief to George.

“I’m not really sure how doing this will make them confess their feelings though,” said Ginny, knitting her brow and looking sceptically at her older brother.

“Trust me, it’ll work. All we need is a bit of sexual tension to break them. Get them hot and bothered enough and they’ll be attacking each other before you know it!”

She still wasn’t sure if she was 100% sold on the plan, but George knew about these things more than her. It had been her idea to spill pumpkin juice all over Hermione’s clothes after lunch, forcing her to change. She’d subtly offered Hermione a pair of her shorts, her smallest and tightest ones and a when the older girl had asked whether or not she should just wear her vest, Ginny encouraged it. A small part of her felt like it was a bit demeaning to resort to primping Hermione up like a prize fair farm animal for Ron to ogle, but at this point she was desperate to get the two of them to admit their feelings. Her wants in the world were simple. She wanted her siblings to be happy and she wanted her friends to be happy. If she could accomplish those things in one fell swoop then even better.

When she’d piled the drapes in Hermione’s arms, she fully expected Ron to be the one to catch her. Bloody Fred and his chivalry. He already had a girlfriend, she thought bitterly, why couldn’t he just step aside and let Ron save the day?

Either way, they were on to part two of their plan and Ginny would not let George down. Her job was to direct Hermione to the right place at the right time. Third floor bathroom at the end of the hall. George would take care of the rest. Easy.

However, to her dismay, when she’d reached the third floor she saw Ron entering the first bathroom on the right and close the door. Damn him! Where was George? Wasn’t Ron his responsibility? Putting her ear to the bathroom Ron was currently in, she heard the rings of the shower curtain slide against the metal pole and the water turn on. Fine, she could improvise. This was fine. Ginny spun around at the sound of a door opening and closing and saw Hermione exit their bedroom with her towel in hand.

“Ginny are any of the bathrooms on this floor open?” she asked, wiping a hand across her brow.

“This one is—” Ginny stepped aside the door “—I started the shower, but mum called me and needs my help. You can take it!”

“Thanks Ginny!”

“No problem ‘Mione. What are friends for?”

Hermione was grateful for Ginny giving up the bathroom. She was in desperate need of a nice long shower. For more than one reason. There was a moment in the fourth-floor bedroom that she thought she was surely going to combust. In what fair and just world should she be forced to stare at a shirtless Frederick Weasley for an extended period of time? It was painful how good he looked. Hermione cursed her inappropriate thoughts. He was a taken man. But then there was the way he’d held her in her sleep – the way he’d gently woken her in the library. She’d been embarrassed at first, but he didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, he almost seemed sad to part, but that was ridiculous. Again, he was a taken man.

Entering the small bathroom, Hermione scowled slightly at the running water. Really, Ginny should wait until she entered the shower to turn on the water. It was such a waste to keep it running. She placed her towel on one of the hooks on the wall and grabbed the hem of her vest top, sliding it up her torso. The fabric stuck to her skin, damp from the sweat of a hot day and good, hard work. If she’d known she’d be spending a majority of her summer doing exhausting chores, perhaps she would have thought twice about abandoning her parents. But then Hermione’s mind drifted to the thought of her grandparents’ cat-fur covered sofa and dry Madeira cake and suddenly she was sure of her decision once again. She was just bringing the vest top over her head when something very odd happened. The sound of water stopped. Hermione froze, arms raised over her head and top covering her eyes. Turning towards the shower, she pulled her top completely off, freeing her sight just as the shower curtain pulled back revealing a very wet and very naked Ron.

While in reality it was probably only a few seconds, for Hermione it felt like an eternity that she stood still as stone staring at Ron absolutely starkers. Ron stared back, eyes wide and mouth hung open. How? Why? What? Hermione had so many questions and yet, nothing came out of her mouth. In fact the only thing her mouth could do was open and close like an idiot before she finally let out a high-pitched scream.

Ron screamed as well, bringing his hands down to cover his more…vulnerable bits. It was a bit late for that thought Hermione but closed her eyes tightly all the same.

“What are you doing in here?!” she screamed, blindly feeling for the door.

“What am I doing in here?! What are you doing in here?!” screamed Ron back, the tile squeaking under his wet feet as he exited the tub.

“Oh my god—” Hermione desperately felt for the door handle, letting out another scream when she felt wet skin “—OH MY GOD!”

“Bloody hell, Hermione! Get out!” Ron yelled.

“I’m trying!”

Finally Hermione’s fingers found the doorknob and she flung herself from the bathroom, running as fast as she could down the hallway.

“What is it?! What’s going on?! I heard scream—oof!”

Hermione collided into someone, her frantic fleeing impairing her ability to watch where she was going. Whoever it was, she hit them hard. Hard enough to knock her backwards. Desperately, she reached out to catch herself on instinct, but the only thing her hand found purchase on was the soft fuzzy fabric of a towel that gave easily as she fell backwards. Hermione landed hard on her backside, feeling slightly dazed. Looking down at the towel in her hand, she looked up in mortification. There standing before her, at eye level she might add, was Frederick Weasley’s entirely naked body. She screamed again, covering her eyes quickly this time, a little more prepared and a little more experienced at accidentally seeing naked boys now.

“Merlin!” Fred cried, yanking the towel from her hands, and most likely covering himself. Hermione didn’t know for certain though as her hands were still tightly glued to her face. She wasn’t risking it anymore. If another Weasley boy were to show up in the hallway naked, she was prepared.

“Oh my god. I’m so, so sorry!” Hermione cried, attempting to stand without her arms or her sight. She wobbled and bumped a bit, but eventually found her feet.

“What the hell is going on?!” asked Fred.

“Hermione I—” she heard Ron’s voice start and then stop suddenly before he let out a confused exclamation. “What’s going on here?!”

“What’s going on here? What was going on in there?!” Fred asked back, sounding quite angry.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god,” Hermione chanted in humiliation as she was now blindly trying to find her bedroom door. She needed to get out of there desperately.

“Bloody hell Hermione. You can open your eyes now,” groaned Ron.

Hermione shook her head frantically. “Nope! Sorry. I’m not chancing it.”

“What was she doing in there with you?” Fred questioned indignantly.

“What was she doing out here with you?” huffed Ron.

“I heard screaming!”

“So you decided to come and investigate naked?!”

“I wasn’t naked! I had a towel, but she pulled it off!”

“Why would you run out in just a towel?!”

“Sorry, next time I think there’s an emergency, let me just take my sweet time getting dressed before I come and help,” Fred bit back sarcastically.

“Boys—” Hermione felt completely lost at this point, walking into a wall, and hitting her head “—ow! Please. Now is really not the time to fight. Can someone please just direct me to my room so I can kill myself?”

“Stop being so dramatic Hermione,” Ron sighed. She could almost feel his eyes rolling in his head.

“Yeah, it’s just a bit of skin ‘Mione. No need to be so affected,” said Fred.

Hermione let out a high-pitched sound of disbelief. “Are you two seriously turning on me now?”

“Well, you were the one who walked in on my shower,” Ron said sounded very irritated.

“Yeah, and you pulled down my towel,” added Fred.

“How in the world is this my fault now?!” cried Hermione, no longer attempting to find her room. Instead, she stood in the hallway, eyes still covered but entirely invested in the argument that was now happening between the three of them.

It was that moment that they heard the loud and raucous laughter of two people from down the hall. Hermione knew at once who it was. Of course.

“Ginevra Weasley, I swear to Merlin I will kill you slowly in your sleep for this!” Hermione threatened. “George, I know you were involved in this too! Don’t think for a second you’re in the clear!”

Ginny and George’s laughter continued, both of them in hysterics at this point.

“You two?!” cried Ron. “Why?!” He sounded deeply betrayed, as if he expected a lot from the two, but never something as horrible as this.

“Merlin, this is…this is better than I ever could have hoped,” said George in between laughs.

“Really George? Really?” asked Fred pointedly.

“You know George, I was a bit disappointed you failed on your end of the plan, but I think this laugh was worth failing,” Ginny commented, finding her voice through deep breaths.

“What do you mean?” asked George. “It was you that got it all mixed up!”

“Me?! What do you—”

“I can’t believe you two! Actually, George I could expect this from you but Ginny?” Hermione scolded.

“Oh lighten up Hermione, it was just a bit of fun!” scoffed Ginny.

“I mean, what was the point of this? Really?” asked Fred, continuing his rant.

“I’ve been so nice to you lately George. I even did you chores the other day!” said Ron dejectedly.

“Indecent George and Ginny! Absolutely indecent behaviour!” yelled Hermione.

“That’s rich coming from someone only in their bra and trousers,” said George.

Hermione gasped, pulled her hands from her eyes now and covering her upper half. In all the chaos and confusion she’d completely forgotten she was half naked herself.

All five of them were now talking over each other, everyone yelling at someone different as they argued in the heat of the moment. The noise was beginning the rise in magnitude until the only thing that could be heard was the overwhelming sound of screaming voices.

“SCUM! MUDBLOODS! BLOOD TRAITORS! IN MY HOUSE?! OUT! OUT! DISGRACESFUL! DIRTY! DIRTY!”

Their arguing was suddenly drowned out by the horrid sound of Walburga Black’s portrait two floors down. Everyone stopped. Now they’d done it.

Mrs. Weasley’s shrill and angry voice drifted up the flights of stairs and mixed horribly with the shouting portrait. They heard stomping feat on the wooden stairs and looked at each other in fear.

“Don’t just stand here like idiots—” said George quickly.

“—Scatter!” finished Fred.

Chapter 17>>>

Taglist:

@theworldisugly-22

@aoonai

@sjh-07-10

@is-it-madness

@i-d-e-g-a-f

#Fremione #fanfic #fanfiction #fred weasley #fred x hermione #hermione granger #slowburn #mutualpining

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 5 years

Text

hey so remember like last year when i was re-reading misadventures and fixing typos? (well, i say that, but it was just an excuse to re-read it and write some absolutely absurd commentary on it...) i found old notes in my phone from january with even more so guess i may as well post it because people seemed to find it funny at the time, it’s basically just The Misadventures of Aish Realizing Things though

[yeah so here’s the original notes i’m not even gonna change anything even though lots of Lore has happened in the show and we Know things now, you just get to see what january aish typed]

ok well let’s go then chapters 31-35 oh god

oh yeah the ML Blackout! I remember that

hm it’s occurring to me maaaaaybe I should post a bit of a warning on this chapter. like “yes this starts off stupid and cracky and fluffy but takes a complete 180 in the middle and you will end up sobbing.”

or maybe I should put that as a disclaimer on the whole fic cause it’s one hell of a ride

THE AROACE SCIENCE JOURNAL YESSSSSSS THAT COMES BACK LATER

yeah the reason why the early parts of this chapter are very lighthearted is honestly because the fic was getting a bit too bleak, I needed something cheerful, so paper planes and arm wrestles it was

wait... isn’t this just that scene from Anansi??? where like Nora challenges Nino to an arm wrestle but then he wins because Someone Else Nearby Did A Thing

also this is Peak characterization, damn Aish, you rly outdone yourself, congration

any time I drop the word “inkling” into a fic it is always 100% a splatoon reference

MAX WOW TONE DOWN THE GAY

heh... BI-ceps...

oh my godddd Max trying to play off his ogling as “ah yes I am scientifically studying Kim’s arm muscles ofc, it’s science I swear” is SO frickin funny I’m already losing it

Alix: “scientifically speaking I’m hot therefore you have to lose this arm wrestle” hshdhdghshskkjkdhshs

^literally the kind of nonsense every single teen I know spouts irl

including me when I was a teen, I just said things

(I still just say things)

you can’t bring up the sports bra thing goddammit, I agree it’s cheating because it has the power to one-hit kill anyone in the vicinity

I love how Max thinks his crush on Kim is “under control” while like. visibly swooning over him

OH MY GOD THE PILLOWS SHHDJDHDHDHSKHS

OKAY SO LIKE I was supposed to put the thing about Kim snogging a pillow in chapter 20 but I forgot or something and then I just had to get it in somehow, oh it kills me dead just thinking about it, I’m dying, I’m dead

and the fact that he admits to it as well, holy moly

KIM

K I M

THAT’S GAY

OH WOW

this is the moment when Alix’s Kimax shipper heart was suddenly feeling validated like “omg wait Kim DOES like Max??? like for real??????”

awwwww Kim, Max doesn’t have those kind of superpowers, you just have a crush on him that’s all <3

THE SKATEBOARDING SNEK!!!!!!!!!!!!

“What the heck is that?” “My snake.” DYINGGGG

Kim trying to figure out if the snake is sitting or standing is a whole mood

ohhhhhhhh my gosh poor Alix trying so damn hard to subtly ask Kim if he likes Max and Kim’s just. so DUMB he doesn’t even get it no matter how obvious she is

she’s even trying to pull out those stupid amatonormative “so is he MORE than a friend???” questions just to get this idiot to figure it out because she knows allo-romos are Like That and he still doesn’t get it,,

[future aish says: the word is alloro, past aish. it’s alloro]

AND SO NOW SHE ASSUMES THEY’RE NOT INTO EACH OTHER BECAUSE SHE THINKS EVEN KIM CAN’T BE THAT STUPID

YOU UNDERESTIMATE HIS STUPIDITY

oh no... oh NO.... the letter.... here we go....

btw yes Gabriel had Kim’s grandad assassinated, it was indeed his doing

...isn’t this lowkey the plot of The Lion King?

or Long Live The Queen

hmmm let’s just say in the sequel poor Kim really will have to deal with the stresses of ruling a country >:D

NO MY POOR SON HAVING A BREAKDOWN, I WANT TO HUG HIM

(also can I just say like... this chapter is actually well-written for the most part? I’m actually kinda impressed)

unfortunately I know the feeling of wanting, needing to return home, but it fills you with dread... *hugs Kim forever*

Kim crying all over Max both hurts me and sort of heals me because Max is so sweet and comforting about it ohhh my heeeaaart

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

THIS IS LOWKEY A LOVE CONFESSION I SWEAR, IT’S SO CUTE

chapter 32 being called “Un chat noir” is kinda dumb af but also it just so happened that I accidentally had the chapter called “Coccinelle” be chapter 64, aka exactly double of 32, so that was kinda neat

Plagggggg!!!!!!!!!!

and Wayhem lol, I think I’ve already mentioned how originally this noble was just some random irrelevant unnamed OC until I decided way later it’s gay stalker fanboy

oh yeah that’s how the nobility recognize the royalty, I forgot lol

(also nobles from countries with widespread newspress or tv will recognize them from news reports and stuff I guess)

the fact that Plagg just hates Wayhem is funny to me for some reason

MISADVENTURES

HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY THREW IN THE ACTUAL WORD

except it was in reference to Adrien... let’s just say that The Misadventures of Imperial Prince Adrien may or may not make an appearance in the sequel >:D

...the Adrienette is literally just in this fic so that people would read it, ngl

hhhhhhhhhhhh okay it’s true Alix is an aro idiot who doesn’t know anything about romance but for once she’s RIGHT, Kim IS in love with Max, but she assumes she’s wrong hshgshdjhdnsnsh

oh my god noooo timeline twin go away and stop giving me nightmares

I still love how they hate each other, that’s some top-notch self-hatred right there and I need to get on their level

[future aish note: no past self!! be nice to yourself!! you are a cool bean!! own it!!]

YOU FOOL... EVERY CLASSMATE WOULD TAKE A SWORD TO THE HAND FOR ALIX, WHY WOULDN’T THEY

ỳïķèš,,,

honestly I probably should stop being lazy and actually go back to like idk chapter 8 and put in an actual monopoly game (it had to have been before the oracle sessions in ch10 at least)

fun fact!! I have indeed very nearly had a fist fight over the last dark blue card in a monopoly game!! also I blatantly cheated, and the main opponent locked someone else (an 8 year old btw) in a cupboard... it was Wild(TM)

me and my irl friend actually came up with the butterfly thing when we were at the cinema once, she made up this random angry gardener OC who stepped on a butterfly after being fired or something lol

I mentioned Rose liking unicorns!!!! before Captain Hardrock!!!!!!!

shdhdhkshs Alix is such a moody emo brat in this fic I adore it

“The only real difference between you and me is one dead butterfly.” goddammit that’s the creepiest fucking thing, I’m genuinely shaking

technically it’s a butterfly’s fault for ALL the timelines which means that we’re all one butterfly away from death at any moment

cheerful stuff

no, no, you’re not trying to block it out on purpose... I’M trying to block it out on purpose bc I’m highkey shamelessly projecting

god I wish my timeline twin would manifest in the astral plane and punch me in the arm too

“Count yourself lucky you’re not a pillow, idiot.” in-context this is contender for Most Cursed Line I Have Ever Written In My Life

and yes Alix was about to straight-up swear

Mylène rollerskating is extremely blessed and good

pfffffffff Max you coward, I stand on swivel chairs all the time

*me, chanting at the spider in my room* KIMAX! KIMAX! KIMAX!

Kim literally making every excuse to not put Max down is amazing honestly

Kim and Max’s origins story is sooooooooooo cute wtf

THIS IS SO BLESSED OH MY HEART

HE’S JUST STANDING THERE CUDDLING HIM I’M

DECEASED

I,,,, swear to god,,,,,,,

so like. I know it’s now canon in the show that Kim really is as oblivious to his feelings as I wrote him in this. but MY GOD. IT’S FRIGGIN PAINFUL

KIM YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH MAX, FULL HOMO, THAT’S WHY YOU’RE FEELING LIKE THIS, IT’S NOT THAT COMPLICATED DAMMIT

oh yeah I wrote the kimax bits rly early and my old url was @queenkubdel haha

aight now a no-kimax chapter, but at least it’s a goodun

there’s that catradora-esque weather girls frenemyship again

Kim having a full-on breakdown when he finds out Alix’s hair isn’t really pink is actually really blessed, no lemme explain

so this universe has magic, right?? so he thinks to himself that the reason his friend has pink hair is because she must be some sort of anime protagonist or Really Important and Cool or something, and it never even occurred to him to doubt her

in other words he’s betrayed because he WANTED HIS FRIEND TO BE A COOL SHONEN HERO

which is both hilarious AND very sweet

...oh wait I’ve scrolled down and it turns out I literally explained all that in the fic itself hhdgjdvzjdjhs

and yeah honestly I can’t blame poor Kim for taking it so badly, he’s still reeling from his grandfather’s assassination so it’s natural his emotions are not exactly Regulated atm

actually when are his emotions ever regulated

1703-1899 hm... might change that since the fic takes place in 1957-1960 so even though it’s a commissioned history of the empire it was before Gabriel was even born so like why would he even care lmao

“Great Western Ocean” so pretentious, just say the Atlantic omg

I’ve been playing way too much civ because the first thing that came to mind was that everyone’s denounced Agreste due to the high warmongering penalties of the industrial/modern eras

Chloé and Kim is one hell of a brotp okay I still firmly believe that

also Chloé still loves her rococo fashion, she’s just toned it down enough that she can fit through doors and it’s not quite as “in your face” towards commoners

listen I know in the show Kim still liked Chloé for a while after Dark Cupid but in this he got over her quicker because his crush on her wasn’t as deep in the first place

Kim literally tells Chloé he gave the brooch to Max and yet STILL doesn’t realize he likes him!!! KIM!!!!!!!!!!

Chlodemption arc yesssssssss

also she’s a lesbeean

(ye Pollen will be in the sequel don’t you worry)

god I’m so proud of her <3

it feels believable too, so I’m proud of myself!! (I’m trying to be nice to myself before next chapter where I will no doubt roast myself so badly I’ll never recover)

outdated laws about marriage... jeez was that cursed foreshadowing or what

YES IT’S IVAN, I LOVE THIS BOY, HE’S SO GRUMPY AND ANGRY ALL THE TIME AND HE HATES KIM

...actually wait this is sibling culture

I literally speak like this to my brother and he’s my best friend so in conclusion Ivan thinks of Kim as an annoying brother

Jalil why are you a historian. just go be a psychologist and stop your sister accidentally hecking up the country

omg the Antarctica thing, I’m just imagining Jalil in the freezing cold with a massive coat on and getting chased by penguins

I love how the timeline twin’s plan was “escape school, force Adrien to get a venomous pet, then abandon him immediately in the middle of nowhere” and later on it turns out she skipped step two and just ditched him lmaoooooo

being so ace that your brain goes straight to “death and murder” before anything else is the biggest mood, I speak from experience

Jalil knows... he had that conversation with Kim in chapter 20... he Knows

“a bit unsupportive” um that is an extreme understatement good grief he was more savage than ME

RISE OF THE KIMAX SHIPPERS

oh don’t worry the venom death still haunts me too

chapter I Hate You... “A rather rotten winter party” well it should have been named A RATHER ROTTEN CHAPTER DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPOSSIBLE THIS ONE WAS TO WRITE OMG I HATE WRITING MYSELF INTO CORNERS

you see I had to have a motive for the timeline twin to explain things properly so that I could put in a really really dumb pun later but that meant I had to unfortunately suffer many allergic reactions again

[future aish note: forgot to mention, i also needed a motive for kim to stop eating chocolate forever, so i had to Curse this chapter as a sacrifice in order to save his life later on]

alright, alright, here we go, I’ll stop procrastinating and just get this over with

oh yeah it’s chapters like these that the fic’s rated T lol

the Adrikim friendship is indeed important... for later... like, plot-relevant levels of important... life-saving levels...

“some event” is the Peace Ball actually and I can’t wait because that chapter’s actually a good one

KIM BRAGGING ABOUT KISSING ADRIEN LAST YEAR IS SO FUCKING FUNNY OH MY GOD I’M LOSING MY MIND???

like last year he was LITERALLY LIKE “oh boo hoo I cannot tell anyone about this because Adrien is Ã Bøyê” and now he’s just like “yeah I kissed a hot boy and what about it???”

to be fair he is on an extreme sugar rush from all the chocolate he ate, which will... be a plot point in just a moment...

PILLOW GIRLFRIEND

I’m the amused nobles, they are me

oh my god Kim we get it you want to kiss someone (Max) and you don’t want to outright say it

holy shit do any of these kids ever think before they speak??? not to sound like the timeline twin or anything but alix... you could have avoided this if you’d bothered to use your one (1) brain cell

[future aish note: bold of me to assume that alix has a brain cell]

Kim wants to now fight his PARALLEL SELF oh my god, get on my level Kim, I want to fight my actual self like right now so there

stfu all of you, this is poisoning my liver

Max is the biggest mood and at least mildly sensible thank god, but he really shouldn’t have left those two alone for even a second

I AGREE PLATONIC LOVE IS UNDERRATED

the chair... the fucking c h a i r... I’m already lying down but I need to lie down harder just to process the absurdity of this

(I think I was gonna have Alix fall off the chair just because that’s hilarious but I forgot)

look I can’t take heartrate seriously but if you ever write it then you are legally required to put in kissing contests or you’re doing it wrong

fudgin Adrienette kiss offscreen and irrelevant

DJWIFI!!! AND ACTUAL PROPER DJWIFI!!!! I was sick of seeing it treated as some kind of pair-the-spares beta couple so I flipped the script and had them literally call out that trope while treating Adrienette as irrelevant instead, which is also why the sequel will be extremely djwifi-centric

“super swanky bae” please stop misusing commoner slang I’m begging you

THERE’S THE PLOT POINT I WAS TALKING ABOUT

Theo was right here, he witnessed with his own eyes how much chocolate Kim ate, so he knows for a fact that if you give Kim chocolate he will scarf it down without a second thought... so hypothetically if one sent him poisoned chocolates... dyou see where I’m going with this...

oh and Theo still has like every job btw

Alya!!!! no!!!!! hire him again!!!!!!!! then he won’t send the chocolates!!!!!!!!!! aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

there goes me hinting how alyadrininette is the ultimate ot4 again

...do I really wanna scroll down and keep going? no I don’t but I guess I gotta, and relive every one of my most embarrassing school sleepovers in the process

full offence to everyone bothering to read this but kissing sounds gross, actually

(for the record it was probably like... 10 seconds or something idk it was Not Long At All)

“probably not more than 5 minutes” omg I just said it was 10 seconds??? hmmm m okay like 20 seconds maaaybe, Kim just has no sense of time perception

neither do I based on my microwaving skills

SHIT THIS IS LITERALLY A SCHOOL SLEEPOVER

INNOCENT DUMBASS AROACE ASKING “what does that mean? what’s this? what’s that? it’s okay you can tell me :-)”

omg I forgot the snake was there ahshdhdkshfs I’m the snake, probably wants to launch itself out of the window so big mood

most of the fic so far had Alix being really aro so I was like damn... gotta make her really ace too

(if I ever bother writing the Kimdine AU then you actually get an aro character who isn’t ace, because we need more of them, but I won’t say who) (okay fine it’s Luka)

I tend not to be too British in my writing so as not to give the Americans heart attacks whenever they see someone referring to their mother as “mum” etc, but like... sometimes you just gotta throw in the word “snogging”

(I’m typing this out on my phone rn and it has exactly 69% battery, I hate this and also hate that I felt the need to mention that)

THE HOCKEY THING MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN BASED OFF A REAL LIFE THING. *SWEATS NERVOUSLY*

honestly I was soooooo tempted to actually write The Talk bit, it would have been the funniest thing ever, but I was also 99% sure I would have to change the rating to M (despite it not even remotely being smut lol, just a regular biology lesson) and there was no way I was doing that, pretty sure I pushed the T rating at some points as it is

[future aish: god i am still so tempted to write it. man, i’m tempted. it would be the funniest thing. but no... i have sworn not to write anything above a T rating so guess i won’t.]

YEAH THE THROWING UP THING TOO WAS DEFINITELY NOT BASED ON REAL LIFE OR ANYTHING *MORE NERVOUS SWEATING*

(it genuinely wasn’t a flowerpot though. it’s my life’s goal to throw up in a flowerpot and I still haven’t achieved it.)

all of this is an Ace Mood(TM)

also I love how elaborately I’ve worded this, like yeah idiot royal teenagers are too royal and posh to ever bother just saying the word “sex” like a normal person

to any 17 year old aces: you aren’t too young to know, I told myself that aggressively when I was 17 but now I’m 22 and I’m still just as ace as I always was sooooo yeah

I also hope I can wake up tomorrow and forget I read this trash

well tbh... it’s not total trash... it highkey reminds me of my school days, like, maybe that was subconscious or something... god who even knows

jeez if timeline twin slapped me in the face I’d just keel over and die from sheer terror, other than that that’s HILARIOUS

timeline twin: “YOU HAVE ONE (1) BRAIN CELL NOW P L E A S E CONSIDER USING IT”

fuckeninf hell listen,,, so when I was writing this chapter I didn’t know I was aro... I mean, I was kinda questioning it?? but all I knew was I was ace, and that me not knowing that as a teenager almost totally screwed me over because like

to be normal or to feel normal there’s things you do or say that you don’t want, and things you know would happen or whether you want something or not you’ll take it because you think you’re expected to, because otherwise you’ll have to confront yourself with the fact that something is wrong with you and you don’t know what or why or how to fix it

and being aro on top of that is misunderstanding how to navigate close friendships because of this fundamental fear that if you want to be close with someone then friendship can’t suffice, that how much you care about them doesn’t matter

and things I did or almost did, or had the chance to do and only stopped because (awfully enough) crippling anxiety which ironically saved me (let’s just say the dude turned out to be a creep)... yeah basically this is all a callback to that aroace teenager feel where you can’t help not being true to yourself because you don’t want to, because you don’t know what’s wrong or right, only what’s “normal” and the ache of knowing that you’re not, no matter how much you try

and I didn’t know I was aro while writing this but in hindsight it’s easy to see how that played into it too, and writing this definitely played a part in me realizing I’m aro and was somehow trying to work through some very pent-up feelings about friendship and closeness with people, as well as pent-up feelings about being ace and how that tied into everything too

...in short, do not phuck the pharaoh or you will get HOUSE ARRESTED and DIE

(jk jk she’ll just be awkward around you forever lol, and then SHE’LL get house arrested and die, because you’re not commoners so your actions actually have consequences you dumb idiots)

this entire thing is just a whole mood and lowkey my teenage years holy fuck holy fuck I hate that I’m only just realizing how bloody hard I was projecting

I literally read a post the other day about how unrequited love is only ever usually explored from the perspective of the person who’s in love, whereas aros are usually on the receiving end of it and it’s a tragedy in its own right that you might do things that wind up driving you apart because you can’t bring yourself to love them back but you can’t tell them because of the fear that it’ll push them away... and I gotta say, I totally nailed it 💪

...you know what I’ve changed my mind, chapter 34 is good actually, and now I need to make a time machine and go and hug my 17 year old self for living this, and then hug my 20 year old self for writing this, I’m sorry I was mean to this chapter it’s very relatable and I shouldn’t keep beating myself up over it

thinking makes me miserable too!! that’s why it’s optimistic nihilism only lads

impulse control, hmmm... someone who’s good for him, hmmmmmm... it’s almost like someone like that is right there and exists and is already in love with him 😏

so apparently timeline twin’s idea of “fixing her life” is burning all her bridges and then hecking off to the Kazakh wilderness for over a year

did Alix just... ask the snake if it’s aroace too???

I mean it definitely is, but...

UGH SNAKES DON’T BLINK, I’M STILL SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS

chapter 35, thank god, the title “Finally!” is very apt

(because I can finally change the music from Death Valley to something else lol)

oh poor Max, his heart goes on a real rollercoaster these few chapters doesn’t it? it’s okay buddy, in like 10 chapters you’ll get your man...

NO BUT SHE H A S FIGURED IT OUT!!! SORT OF!!!

I just misread “despite” as “despacito”, I’m going to bed and continuing this tomorrow dammit

alright I am now funky refreshed and ready to roll, let’s get this kimax party started

Max is angsting internally like “no one’s realized I like Kim :( well except Juleka but she’s a lesbian so she doesn’t count” ashgdjsghskk that mlm/wlw solidarity is holding out I see

YES ALIX YOU DO NEED TO TALK TO NATH MORE, THAT’S YOUR FREAKING BEST BUD IN THE SHOW MAY I REMIND YOU

this is all so Irony it’s murdering me dead

okay yeah I’m gonna be really honest and salty here for a second, this bit where Max is annoyed that Alix takes Nath more seriously as a contender than him was me being a bit salty over the fact that like... kimnath/tomato ketchup is a great rarepair but got so weirdly popular amongst people who didn’t seem to care about Max as a character at all despite how close he is with Kim in canon, and as a Max Stan it made me sad because he’s already not very appreciated in fandom

[future aish note: HE IS NOW BABEY!]

THERE IT IS

I WANT TO HUG MAX TOO, BLESS HIM

I also want to hug Alix because godddds I’ve been in that situation where if you were allowed to just TELL the idiots that they like each other then all their problems would be solved but noooo, you’re sworn to secrecy... *sigh*

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t change, ever...” me: *thinks about the sequel and cackles evilly while cracking my knuckles* well,,

A R O M A N T I C

listen it was VERY IMPORTANT to me that I actually put in all these actual words in the fic and made them relevant, like gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc (I think the only one I didn’t was trans, oops?? gotta remember that for the sequel, at least Nino IS trans in this even though I never said the word)

[future aish note: i feel like i didn’t say pan either, or nonbinary... more stuff for the sequel folks! i can’t put in everything but i may as well try!]

bc you see all these tv shows where a character is bi but they say they “don’t like labels” or a character with no love interest get suddenly paired up with someone random at the end... like NO I wanted to do the OPPOSITE of that bc people’s identities are IMPORTANT so I wanted to MAKE IT RELEVANT 💪

and even though I didn’t yet know here that I was aro and highkey projecting, there’s already a fair few fics dealing with asexuality but not aromanticism?? so I rly wanted to make the aro side of things important

almost relieved??? Max, you buffoon, she IS relieved, extremely

Malix friendship is good and severely underrated and I still haven’t forgiven myself for not putting more of it in this

“He was never eating chocolate again” HO-HO-HOLY SHIT THAT’S SOME FORESHADOWING RIGHT THERE

Rose is a distinguished bi who doesn’t realize Kim is a disaster bi

Kim oh my god you can’t just out Adrien “just about functional bi” Agreste like that

I love that Rose calls Kim a casanova even though he’s very much not... how many people are even into him over the course of the fic? Max, Adrien, it’s implied Marinette used to be, Lila is ambiguous, same with the lacrosse guy later, oh yeah Ondine highkey lmao along with 90% of the teenage population of Saharan Africa, Kim himself in about 2 chapters time...

Rose giving Kim the gay talk is so blessed omg I need more interaction between these two

“If you swung one way you were gay, if you swung the other way you were straight, more than one way made you bisexual, if you didn’t swing any way at all then you were probably just Alix...” I will literally NEVER be able to outdo this line, this is Peak

hmm I don’t think at any point in the fic Max says to Kim that he’s exclusively into boys... I guess he said it offscreen then lol, point is He’s Gay

OMG KIM, YOU FINALLY REALIZED WHAT THE NOSEBLEED SCENE MEANT, GOD BLESS YOU

this is like in Syren when he realizes the mermaid is Ondine and that she was trying to tell him she likes him... except this is the gay version of that

yeah Rose I really do need to get more sleep, that one was directed at me and I know it was

Kim being all like “fellas is it gay if you take off your shirt and a guy swoons at you 🤔🤔🤔”

no, no... Max is definitely a complete trainwreck at romance, just slightly less than you

god freaking dammit not the sports bra again,,, I s2g later in the fic all Ondine would have had to do is to show up in a sports bra and Kim would immediately go full ot3 mode no questions asked,,,,,,,, (I mean he does see her in a swimsuit but that’s not the same??? sports bras are in a different league okay shush)

psssssst!!! you should read heartbroken!!!! it’s a kimax fic and it’s so good!!!!! this was a lowkey shoutout!!!!!!!!

genuinely tho, even if Kim hadn’t liked Max too here, he’s being so sweet about it?? he’s worried about his poor friend’s emotional state and wishes he could have done better to help!! gahhhh their friendship/relationship is just So Blessèd

hsndhkdhdkshdh I only noticed it after finishing the fic and occasionally skimming back through, but so much of the time whenever Alix shows up Kim’s all like *ungrateful* “oh not you again” like WOW that’s one way to greet your friend?? mood tho

[future aish note: i did the exact opposite in No Romo, funnily enough! kim’s not in it much but whenever he sees alix he’s like “friend!!! friend!!!!!” and she’s just like -_- “oh it’s that guy again”]

he’s not even paying attention to her omg she’s trying to save the timeline here you idiot

POOR ALIX how frustrating,,, and also I’ve literally been there,,, the woes of being a wing-girl indeed

and now Kim wants to fight himself, why am I not surprised

aND YES HERE’S WHERE IT HITS HIM, THE EXACT FUCKING MOMENT

WHERE HE’S SUDDENLY LIKE “OH WAIT MAX’S LOVE FOR ME ISN’T UNREQUITED??? I LIKE HIM TOO HOLY SHIT????”

aaaaaaand he immediately asks the aro for love advice, why is he like this omg

gosh this is sooooo sweeeeeet

I did not let up, did I? just went ahead and made this as cheesy and cutesy and over the top as I could because It’s What Kimax Deserves

(there wasn’t rly much Kimax content yet in the fandom at this point so I had total free reign and went all-out with it)

sfjsgskdhs and there goes Alix getting her wing-efforts sidelined again

“I’m never asking out someone on a whim again. Or, uh, confessing that I like someone on a whim either.” so uh... you know how I said I’m considering making the sequel Kimaxdine? well if I do then uh. hm. this might change. because reasons.

I don’t know why I made nothing Alix ever says make sense but I’m glad I did because she’s so freaking funny

I swear I talk about Max’s eyes being “magnified in his glasses” multiple times in this fic, either that or I’m having serious deja vu

Kim’s so cute dammit!!! now that he knows he likes Max he’s just swooning over every little thing and it’s!!!! adorable!!!!!

(I wonder if this is how it was with Kimdine in the show? it does seem like Kim already liked her but just hadn’t noticed...)

huehuehuehue Kim later on you do indeed recklessly propose to Max on the spot... in like 18 chapters or so

also the fact that Kim thinks things through better when he’s around Max is just the total sweetest and also what Alix was basically trying to aim for

I love Kim showing off that he can pack all his stuff in half an hour like buddy, the porters can literally help you with that, you’re royalty remember

omg I’d forgotten I left a note here later for binge-readers!! being all like “drink water and eat food and go to sleep uwu”

lmao guess I’ll take my own advice then and leave it there for now

[future aish note: same, goodnight]

#smalluns proceed with caution. it's T rated remember #it's not dodgy though. just evil and cursed #anyway i'm going to sleep now for like 12 hours #random stuff #misadventures #if you're on the mobile app and the keep reading glitches and you have to scroll then i'm sorry #this is under a cut on desktop i promise

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blucmoon · 3 years

Photo

━ ☾ ⊹ ( kim hyunjin, cis female , she/her ) say hello to SHIM YUNHEE, the TWENTY ONE YEAR OLD that seems to have a lot in his hands with HER job as a GAS STATION ASSISTANT! beyond that, they seemed RESPONSIBLE AND LOYAL upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of SELF-DETACHED AND IMPATIENT though. SHE seems to live in a 3 BEDROOM HOUSE in YUNHWA, SOUTH KOREA. anything else to add? oh, yeah! she also USED TO BE A SOCCER PLAYER UNTIL SHE BROKE HER ANKLE MID-GAME AND WAS ADVICED TO NEVER PLAY AGAIN.

stats

⋆ ― full name: shim yunhee ⋆ ― nicknames: yuni / yunee (sounds like yun 2) ⋆ ― age: twenty one ⋆ ― date of birth: january 8th, 2000. ⋆ ― birthplace: yunhwa, south korea. ⋆ ― current location:yunhwa, south korea ⋆ ― living arrangements: hwesakgu, house #3021. ⋆ ― ethnicity: korean ⋆ ― nationality: korean ⋆ ― gender: cis female ⋆ ― pronouns: she / her ⋆ ― orientation: : ) ⋆ ― religion: atheist ⋆ ― occupation: assistant @ gangmoon gas station ⋆ ― language(s) spoken: korean (fluent), english (advanced level) ⋆ ― accent: heavy

physical appearance

⋆ ― faceclaim: loona’s kim hyunjin. ⋆ ― hair: naturally brown, has only dyed it twice in her life. once red for more than half a year when she was a freshman at college and now it’s currently dyed to black. lets it down most of the time without doing anything to it, much preferring it’s natural waves (even though there are many). still, her second go-to style are messy ponytails and buns, followed by half up-do’s. only when tries to exert a little more effort, she either curls it on straightens it completely. ⋆ ― makeup: minimal, only started wearing mascara and eyeliner in college and still has trouble to draw even lines in both eyes. other than that, she applies colored chapsticks in red and pink hues. ⋆ ― eye colour: brown. ⋆ ― gaze: dreamy and pensive, slightly strained, often expressing attentiveness, sardonic irony or melancholy. ⋆ ― height: 163cm / 5'4" ft ⋆ ― weight: 48kg ⋆ ― tattoos: none yet. ⋆ ― default expression: solemn, monotonous but often shows light amazement or full interest when having a conversation that piques her interest. showcases a polite half-smile in an attempt to come across as a trustworthy person, otherwise her gestures are timid and undemonstrative. ⋆ ― markings: scar large scar on her left ankle from a recent surgery, small scratches and some other bruises all over her legs and arms. ⋆ ― piercings: lobe and upper lobe on both ears. double helix on the right one. most of the time in yunhwa she’d cover them by letting her hair down and on those occasions where she feels like having it up in a ponytail or any updo, she only wears earrings on the standard lobe. silver and black jewelry pieces are the things she wears more often. ⋆ ― clothing style: ranges between casual and sport casual. jeans, shorts, graphic t-shirts, loose blouses, oversized sweaters are her go-to when her mother reproaches her about wearing leggings, joggers and sweatshirts too often. whenever she wants to look different and think more about what to wear, she asks yunmi for advice and will most likely go with whatever she tells her with minimal adjustments. she admittedly likes to wear flowy dresses in summer and skirts every now and then, but feminine clothing like that always makes her feel a little out of place and uncomfortable.

health

⋆ ― allergies: none ⋆ ― sleeping habits: 7-8 hours daily, throughout her life in college she developed the habit of waking up really early thus she’s considered a morning person. has more energy in the morning compared to the rest of the day and would often nap 20min-1hour in the afternoon. can easily fall asleep anywhere and most all the time, she sleeps on her side hugging something, which has been difficult to do so after the surgery. ⋆ ― eating habits: not a picky eater but a slow one. likes to take her time enjoying her meals and is usually the last one to finish her food. eats whatever presented to her and always up to try new dishes. has the habit of snacking between meals, though because of her previous strict regimen, her snacks were mostly fruits, vegetable and healthy snacks overall. now, she just eats whatever without caring about the calories count. ⋆ ― exercise habits: used to exercise daily on her own + the soccer practices. now, she has to go twice a week for physical therapy to a hospital in busan. ⋆ ― emotional stability: 6/10 ⋆ ― conditions: lesion - fractured ankle that required her to undergo surgery. ⋆ ― needs: glasses for reading, but wears contacts outside her home. currently wearing a walking boot / orthopedic shoe in her left foot thus she also uses crutches to walk around. however, this doesn’t apply much at home where she completely disregards the crutches and prefers skipping around with her healthy foot or carefully walking with the boot (though mindful of not applying too much weight on her left side.) ⋆ ― body temperature: average ⋆ ― drug use: none. ⋆ ― alcohol use: socially a handful of times in college, med-high tolerance.

family

⋆ ― father: shim junho ⋆ ― mother: jo minha ⋆ ― grandfather: shim changsook ⋆ ― grandmother: hwang moonhwa - deceased ⋆ ― sibling(s): shim yunhee (rooming with her) ⋆ ― pet(s): angora cat, mismatched eyes (deaf of one ear.) ⋆ ― social class: middle class ⋆ ― guardians: overbearing / absent ⋆ ― childhood: uneventful most times, popular in her soccer team

personality

⋆ ― label: the soiled dove ; someone who is sympathetic and full of hope. however, they can also be lost ⋆ ― positive traits: diligent, responsible, thoughtful, generous, creative, sensitive, kind hearted, honest, supportive, loyal, protective, calm (most of the time), polite, trustworthy, helpful. ⋆ ― negative traits: detached, distrustful, distant, stubborn, self-critical, impatient, conflict-averse, difficult to get to know, private, reserved, arrogant, fluctuating self-esteem, harsh, blunt, prideful. ⋆ ― hobbies: reading, playing video games, baking (just started learning how to), building/decorating things out of rusted or useless pieces from her grandfather’s garage or the station (of course, after asking if she can have them), talks to her cat sometimes (she’s convinced yuno understands everything she’s saying, she swears he even nodded once when she asked a question), people-watch, sitting by the beach and watch the sea for hours on end, used to climb over the roof to stargaze (misses this a lot). ⋆ ― habits: chewing the ends of pens, knuckle cracking, muttering under her breath when deep in thought/focused on something, talking to herself, snacking between meals, humming/singing to herself, hair twirling, gesturing while talking, tucking hair behind ears, peeling off bottle labels when anxious/worried, slouching, drumming fingers, rubbing the palm of her hand with her other thumb when nervous. ⋆ ― zodiac sign: sun capricorn, moon capricorn, rising libra ⋆ ― mbti: infp-t (he mediator) ⋆ ― subtype: ni (intuitive) ⋆ ― enneagram: 8w9 (the diplomat) ⋆ ― temperament: melancholic ⋆ ― threat level: moderate ⋆ ― approachability: amiable ⋆ ― anger: cold ⋆ ― hogwarts house: ravenclaw ⋆ ― moral alignment: chaotic neutral ⋆ ― primary vice: pride ⋆ ― primary virtue: diligence ⋆ ― preferred humor: stand up / wordplay / potentially offensive / absurd ⋆ ― type of drunk: happy / risk-taker (rare) / honest / sleepy ⋆ ― type of cry: reluctant / sniffle / unfazed ⋆ ― type of laugh: chuckle / huff / raucous (rare)

yunhee’s first impression is that of a calm person, gentle in her approach, even a little timid and soft spoken as she first introduces herself. however, these impressions can quickly change the more comfortable she feels around someone and, depending on the situation, she can be loud and blunt from the get go.

has a vibrant and creative way of thinking, something she’s sure she inherited directly from her grandparents. possesses a fine intuition and this has always allowed her to either establish meaningful connections or stay away from people that strike her as untrustworthy or dangerous.

heavily dislikes routine, monotony, stereotypes, conventionality, strict order, having to follow rules and regulations. she seeks new experiences and feels attracted to interesting and unusual people. this is a double-edged sword, however, for she can take unnecessary risks and be self-indulgent in certain vices for the sake of chasing thrills. can be really reckless and impulsive when feeling stuck and can take poor decisions because of this.

caring nature, the type to try to put others’ needs above her own and help her beloved ones through any situation that troubles them. she’d try to understand their true feelings and often gets protective of them. sensitive and attentive, she tries to maintain the relationships she builds and showcases tolerance to most flaws and weaknesses of others since she has trouble cutting off people that have exhausted her for she grows used to them.

externally she might seem serene or emotionless even, but in her heart she’s sentimentally predisposed, has bouts of moodiness and melancholy. regrets her mistakes and misfortunes for a long time due being able to recall experiences from the past down to the smallest detail. people can often perceive her to be emotionally blank or poker-faced, but when she’s challenged she can get very angry and passionate.

somewhat unsure in herself, she’s prone to doubt and hesitate in situations where she has to act decisively and doesn’t like to hurry. most likely will try to delay carrying out tasks and finding solutions to problems for an indefinite period of time. she will rarely ever promise something if she’s not able to keep it. on occasions, she knows how to patiently wait and adapt to any circumstances

yunhee will immediately shrink away from confrontations or at the very least try to not make them escalate, remaining quiet through them and hoping for them to be over soon. however, when injustice happens before her eyes, she’s not the type to stay quiet if the affected part does, stepping in if necessary (although with shaky hands, wavering resolution and immediate regrets). aggression and confrontation doesn’t sit well with her and she much prefers to do things her way, peacefully yet firmly.

background (tldr)

⋆ ― yunhee and yunmi are twins. ⋆ ― their parents are still very traditional and close-minded. also worked a lot and were really absent but were also overbearing, wanting certain paths for their daughters like studying medicine or something else. ⋆ ― its thanks to their grandparents that the twins can explore their interests and likes freely. ⋆ ― yunhee spent more time with their grandad, and he taught her a lot of useful things in order to be independent and solve problems on her own. he also taught her what he knows about cars and it’s something she easily absorbed and came to really love. ⋆ ― she used to love living in yunhwa but it soon becomes boring for her. there were a few exceptions to this like a city boy who used to visit and she’d spend all her days playing with him (until he stopped coming) or playing soccer with the other kids in her free time. ⋆ ― noticing this like of hers and how she started growing a little bored of it the more she played with the same kids, her grandfather helped her be part of an all girls soccer team in busan and he’d drive her there 3 times a week for practice. ⋆ ― ever since then she dreamed to become a professional player. ⋆ ― she was given a sports scholarship for a college in seoul, her parents were reluctant and they had to come to a compromise where yunhee would study accounting in exchange to be allowed to be part of the soccer team. ⋆ ― she thought she was leaving yunhwa for good. ⋆ ― yunhee then meets there her childhood friend, kitae, and after a couple of months they start dating (though they broke up in her junior year.) ⋆ ― in her senior year she got a really bad injury mid game and her ankle was fractured. it was so bad that she had to undergo surgery and the doctor advised her to never play again. ⋆ ― her parents used this chance to bring her back to yunhwa and that’s how she ended up there. she doesn’t go out though, the first months she spends them completely holed up in her room and only decided to go out a couple of days before the festival to welcome the new mayor (edited on feb 27). ⋆ ― however after a couple of months they demanded she got a job. which her grandpa helped her with and landed her one as one of the mechanic’s assistants. this is all because the owner owed him a favor. ⋆ ― she accepts right away, thinking she’d have the chance to help fixing cars but instead she’s asked to sort pieces, make inventory, help for the accounting or work the convenience store. the owner often says it’s because of her injury but she suspects it’s also because she’s a girl. ⋆ ― she’s supposed to go to physical therapy to recover and she allegedly does once every week, her dad or grandpa drive her to busan, drop her off and go to run some errands or do other stuff because she asked them to since she didn’t like the idea of them waiting. however, reality is that she didn’t want them to see her sneaking out to a nearby arcade where she spends the next 2 hours instead of attending therapy. this comes from her fear of never getting better or completely healed, so why trying in the first place right? ⋆ ― wears a walking boot / orthopaedical shoe and crutches in the present (sorry if i often repeat this while we plot or as i write, it’s important for her mobility and stuff)

background

born on january 8th at 12:06am, she’s yunmi’s twin with a difference of eleven minutes and thirty six seconds, something her sister rarely ever overlooks. hand in hand, two girls restlessly run around yunhwa while waving and cheerfully greeting every auntie and uncle they come across. named after the little town, the twins quickly made every street their playground and every building part of their imaginary kingdom. dog-shaped dragons were their pets and the adults who frowned upon them the evil-doers in their never ending fairy tale. at the end of every day, one last enemy remained, one that always tried to command them with “don’t run inside the house”, to control their minds with a “clean up your toys” and, lastly, with the most powerful spell they weren’t able to ever defeat: “time for bed”. mom.

growing up in yunhwa is initially fun, just how youth is supposed to be. full of laughter, getting easily marvelled by everything new and adoring the stories the elderly people eagerly shared with them. her early memories are mostly filled by these along with the ever comforting presence of her sister and grandparents, their parents busy making a living to provide for their little family.

as different as their birth times, one at the end of a day, the other at the beginning of the next one, the twins would grow up having contrasting interests thanks to the encouragement and support of their grandparents, something mom and dad would often frown upon.

while yunmi spent more time with their grandma, yunhee would do so with their grandpa. the old man, once one of the little town’s mechanics, always inculcated in yunhee the habit of being independent and learning to solve problems on her own. starting with childish riddles that would increase in difficulty as the girl grows up to changing a tire right when she turned fifteen, yunhee has always enjoyed the time spent with him and the lessons learned.

however, along the way, yunhwa became something yunhee knew well. a little too well. every corner, every pebble on the road, every stray dog… every little thing committed to her memory… and, eventually, she grew bored of the routines, the monotony, the same sights day after day.

there was a single exception though, and it was a boy that used to visit yunhwa. a boy a little too shy, a little too fearful and one that immediately made her feel protective towards him despite being a year older. days were spent playing together, her trying to bring him along to play with the other kids but never letting go of his hand whenever he reached for her.

she’d bid him goodbye when time came for them to go back home, and she’d rush to tell her family about the adventures they had. he made her days less boring, but at the same time, whenever he left yunhwa, it made everything fall back into the same tedious routine. this was a repetition each year, until he stopped coming altogether one day.

perhaps the first heartbreak she went through when waiting in their usual meet up place and he never arrived, but then she couldn’t blame him. yunhwa wasn’t a fun place to be in for too long.

another of the few things that were slightly different were the fun soccer matches she’d often have with the kids at her school. mixed teams were made in p.e. and only a handful of girls were part of it. yunhee immediately found joy in the sport, even asking to be part of the afterschool team that her grandfather coached as a hobby.

then again, monotony decided to befriend the sport she adored so much and it didn’t take her long to memorise exactly all of her teammates go-to moves and strategies when playing. she knew exactly when one of the boys would try to trick her into believing he’s going to kick the ball to the right only to kick to the left or how another would pour all of their energy into a sprint to get a headstart towards the goal.

her grandpa didn’t miss the way she’d sigh and stay on the bench, thus asking her what was wrong. not having the heart to lie to him, she told him how she felt and how boring and dull everything was. such words surprised the elder man for they were something an eleven years old shouldn’t be saying nor feeling.

so he talked to her parents, asking them to let her join an all-girls team in busan where he knew competitions and championships often happened. not liking the idea at all at first, they immediately refused, but upon noticing their usually cheerful girl skipping the games and spending her afternoons in her room, they reluctantly agreed.

it was one afternoon that he asked yunhee to accompany him somewhere, which much to her surprise, was busan. she thought it was nothing but a short trip, maybe one where they’d go to a big store of auto parts to stock up her father’s garage for his most recent project. she was excited anyway, always enjoying anything new.

what she didn’t expect was for him to drive her to soccer field where a bunch of girls her age were playing. yunhee immediately questioned him to which he simply replied “welcome to your new team.”

from that day, yunhee became part of a busan all-girls soccer team and her grandpa would drive her three times a week after school to practice. sometimes, her grandma and sister tagged along and she could hear them all cheering her up even if it was only a practice. games were the same, though her grandma made it her goal to make them all matching shirts with her name on it. it was thrilling, really, to be part of something like that and be able to do it outside of yunhwa.

her coach was a really nice woman and always pushed them to give their best on the field. one of the bigger lessons yunhee learned from her was to dream big. and so the girl did. at age fifteen, she had learnt about professional soccer teams scouting players that were part of varsity teams and from there, yunhee made it her goal to become a professional player and her every decision after that was headed in that direction.

she was good at it, too. fast and with a good intuition that allowed her to make calls that were not part of the initial strategy (which sometimes bothered her teammates), but this changed when she was appointed as the team’s captain for the last year before she was meant to go to college. that last year was crucial for her and the whole team, most of her teammates relied on the league’s results and the team’s performance for their future and so did yunhee.

with much effort and dedication, the team managed to won a really important league that granted her a sports scholarship in a renowned university to be part of the varsity team.

it came the time to make a decision on the career she was going to go for, endless possibilities laid in the brochure she was holding. yunhee was initially considering going for automotive or mechanical engineering, but she knew things were too good to be true the moment her parents sat her down to talk with her.

once again, they voiced their dislike for the decisions she was taking and tried to talk her out of being part of the soccer team and studying something so ‘masculine’. they masked this with concern about her getting hurt, but she could easily tell the whole idea just didn’t sit well with them and their traditional values. however, yunhee couldn’t be moved as it was all part of the plans she’s made for herself and stood her ground about her decisions. her mother threatened to not let her go and it was then that compromises had to be made. she was given the option to pick between dropping soccer altogether and study whatever she wants, or study what they think it’s better for her while still being able to play.

the decision was clear when she registered to major in accounting.

this doesn’t deter her from living her dreams and finally moving away from yunhwa when turning eighteen to seoul. the moment she boarded the plane, she made herself the promise to never look back with the sole intention to never return.

unexpectedly, she meets her childhood friend in a party thrown for the freshmen, the same guy that used to visit yunhwa when he was a kid. kitae. it’s surprising to find out he’s part of one of the sports teams (baseball) and it feels natural to pick up the friendship where they left off.

she’s known as one of the rookies to look forward to in the field and she goes above and beyond to get good grades in order to maintain the scholarship (and her parents off her back). yunhee invests herself a little too much in her studies and in soccer, saturating her schedule with practices and studying sessions to the point that she misses a lot of the college life as well as the city.

yunhee ignores this though, thinking that the way she was doing things was normal, only ever having another reference to this who was just as dedicated as she was.

she started dating kitae midway through the freshman year and all the way to her junior year before he unexpectedly broke up with her.

she’s admittedly not the same after this and yunhee starts to push herself to unimaginable limits only to keep herself busy. she started to double her training, even if most was done on her own, and her studies took up most of her night despite having to wake up before the sun came out.

then she turned twenty one, and this marked the beginning of the end: she was in her senior year, meaning that she’d graduate soon and, if she was lucky enough, some professional team would try to scout her for their team. she only had to deliver, win as many games and score as many goals as possible. twenty one was supposed to be the golden age where her dreams became plans and her plans turned into action.

but it wasn’t.

the team was set to have an important match with another school, both having a rivalry that’s gone for decades and it was clear that this match was of utmost importance for everyone. the students who knew her and her teammates, chanted every time they came across them and wished them good luck. the pressure was clear and tension lingered in the air.

the match started and for the first half, her team had a big lead against the opponent. there was energy running through their veins as they were in the locker room discussing their next strategy. yunhee, as the striker of the team, was excited to have scored two goals already and assist in another one. the whole team was confident and comfortable as the second kicked off.

as confident as they were, they failed to realise the other team was growing desperate and more aggressive in their defensive… at some point, yunhee got the ball and was set to score her third goal of the night… but a girl of the other team tried to stop her which resulted in a severe collision between them. pain is all yunhee feels as she falls onto the ground, a yell ripping through the field as she holds her ankle. the game is paused and the referee showing a red card on the other girl’s face is the last thing yunhee remembers before giving into the darkness

she wakes up to fluorescent lights and has to blink a couple of times. she has no recollection of what happened after she passed out and her parents briefly summarize all the events that came after. they told her she had to undergo surgery and that right now they’re waiting for the doctor. yunhee glances at her foot, propped up and the sight is not at all encouraging.

the doctor comes in to share some heartbreaking news, ones that she’s been expecting but it doesn’t make it any easier. she’s gotten her ankle fractured and even when the surgery was successful, she won’t be able to play soccer again. her hopes and aspirations shatter in that moment, watching the doctor leave and her parents share a complicit look that she doesn’t miss. she’s trying to process, trying to think when her mother says something she barely comprehends. yunhee asks her to repeat her words and when she does, anger is the first thing she feels though she conceals it

so she does, without much of a say and suddenly her whole life in seoul feels like a blurred dream. yunhee is back to her childhood room sharing it once again with yunmi and it all makes her feel like she’s regressed. like the last 4 years weren’t real. it’s a bittersweet sensation, the nostalgia always making her reminiscence fondly but the reality of what brought her back the town breaking her heart time and time again.

for the first month, she holes herself in her room and refuses to leave the house. even when they drive her to physical therapy, she finds ways to not go. either by sneaking to other places or waiting in the nearest bus stop until they picked her up again. it’s her little secret and she blatantly lies about her non-existent improvement. she’s good at it and they don’t push it.

however, her parents doesnt like that she’s her days away and even though she still has the boot and makes a million excuses to not do things, they demand she finds a job soon. preferably in the area she majored.

but she doesn’t listen, only complains to her grandfather who now lives with them and he immediately finds a solution. within two days, he comes back to tell her he got her a job at the gas station, the owner owing him a favor and paying it by hiring her. excitement sparkles in her eyes for a second and she notices how proud her grandpa is after sharing the news. always having a soft spot for the elder man, she accepts right away.

now she’s at the station but things don’t go as she expects it. the owner was reluctant to have her there for several reasons, and yunhee knew that one of them was because she was a girl and the other because she was still recovering. still, he honours the pact with her grandpa and keeps her around… only that she’s assigned to sort pieces, make inventory and help with the accounting.

things aren’t exactly perfect, and she’s not all that contented with the current situation, but being out of the house gives her a little purpose.

trivia

⋆ ― she’s really good with kids and when she was a teenager, she used to babysit in the afternoons when she didn’t have football practice. yunhee doesn’t question how or why kids also have an affinity for her, but she thinks it’s because of her grandfather being a casual coach of a small soccer team for years now. she helps him coach occasionally, especially on the weekends and shares strategies and tactics she learnt in college.

⋆ ― one of the few things she learned from her grandmother was baking and she’s actually decent at it, though she only bakes when she’s sad, stressed or angry. if she gives you a bag of cookies, something’s definitely wrong.

⋆ ― before she started playing soccer, one thing she got really into was reading, especially stories that took place in different countries, either fictional or real. she used to get home from school and read for the rest of the day. when her schedules got a little busier, she’d still try to sneak some reading in between activities. in the present, it’s not weird to see her carrying a book in her bag or hand and she enjoys going to the beach after work to read. her favorite genres are fantasy, romance, science fiction, suspense and thrillers, actions and adventures, crime and mystery basically everything that’s not horror.

⋆ ― their grandfather owned a 1967 ford mustang gt automatic yes, automatic. don’t @ me. that he used to drive around yunhwa with his wife. it was in this car where the twins learned to drive when they were 16 and it’s color is a beautiful teal, his wife’s favorite color. by the time the twins were 18, their grandpa decided to give the car to them. when they talked about their future plans of leaving yunhwa, he offered yunhee to take it to seoul to facilitate things, to which she excitedly agreed after getting her licence. however, after their grandma’s funeral and yunmi’s return, she decided to drive it back so yunmi could use it instead. after all, yunhee had it most of the times parked and rarely ever used it this has nothing to do with having a certain someone driving her around. now that yunhee is in yunhwa too, one thing she misses the most is driving it and has settled to the passenger seat while mimi’s the one behind the wheel.

⋆ ― there’s nothing yunhee wouldn’t do for yunmi. be it become her model, her guinea pig, a confident, a friend, someone to share secrets with, anything. yunhee would go above and beyond to ensure that yunmi is safe even if sometimes that doesn’t translate in the most appropriate ways (like absolutely loathing her exes). it might look like they hate each other by how they constantly banter, but behind all of that, there’s nothing but love.

⋆ ― in college, despite having the scholarship she wanted to make some money and managed to squeeze a job in between her schedules as a barista at a coffee shop within the campus. she saved every penny she made and the first thing she bought for herself was a nintendo switch. she still has it to this day and it pains her that the nearest place to buy physical games is busan. she still orders them online, but they take a little too long to arrive. she has some weird fixation to get physical copies over digital, don’t question her. in yunhwa she doesn’t use it as often, mostly at night before going to bed or on those dull and boring sundays.

⋆ ― she started making things with rusted pieces recently, exactly while she isolated herself when returning to yunhwa. one day she was at her grandpa’s garage and saw a pile of pieces he was going to throw away. yunhee asked if she could use them. from those things, she figured how to make some candle holders and decorated one of yunmi’s notebooks. she found fun in it and now is a regular hobby.

⋆ ― has an irrational fear of never recovering and as conflicting as it is, she’s been self-sabotaging by not attending ayn of the physical therapy appointments, instead sneaking into the arcade nearby to the hospital. update: she’s attending therapy now and they were able to remove the boot after a couple of months, now she doesn’t use neither boot or crutches and only has a slight limp.

⋆ ― she’s known the innkeeper since she was a little girl and the family trusts her enough to leave yunhee in her care. in the present, sira even keeps a room available for her whenever she doesn’t feel like staying home. yunhee calls it a home away from home so if you see her around the inn, that’s is why.

⋆ ― if you ask her what she wants to do with her life, she wouldn’t have an answer. she’s absolutely clueless and doesn’t dare to dream big anymore so she’s just living one day at a time. the only thing she’s sure about is leaving yunhwa and even that, she’s not that confident anymore.

goals

⋆ ― to forgive - yunhee feels it nestling within her heart. resentment that’s one step away from turning into hatred. she knows it’s not the other girl’s fault, the incident was all just a miscalculated movement. admittedly one that cost her the future she’s careful crafted for herself ever since young. one that pretty much forced her to return to the town she so desperately wants to run away from. somedays, revenge seems like a good idea and darker thoughts of how to get back at the girl that fractured her ankle slowly crawled into her mind and made it their home. however, she’s wiser and she’s been taught differently. yunhee wants to forgive the other girl. to forgive her parents for the lack of attention and the many things they’ve said in parental reproach. most importantly, she wants to forgive herself for the poor decisions she’s made. for relying so much in her talent and so little in a backup plan. for pushing herself to unimaginable limits. the process is not going to be easy, but at least she knows where to start.

⋆ ― to forget - yunhee thought, when leaving yunhwa for the very first time, that she’d never go back. she wouldn’t look back at the family she was leaving behind. it was easier that way. the girl didn’t have time nor need to dwell on what once was. she was fine living in the beautiful lie of her life being how it was meant to be. now, she’s back to the little town after kissing her life in seoul goodbye. for the first time, she allows herself to crane her neck and reminisce as she looks at the sea. the waves, the wind and the seagulls being the piano, the cello and the drums of her own personal orchestra as her eyes settle on the sunset. a beautiful view, one the city failed to provide.

there’s a weird sense of nostalgia, but not one she’s fond of. within her longing of the supposedly better life she was living comes the realisation that maybe things weren’t as fantastic as she once thought. something akin to sadness invades her when remembering a certain city boy. one that made every hardship more bearable. one that didn’t fail to present her with little secretive moments amidst the chaotic schedules they both had. she wonders, silently, where he is and what he’s doing.

a heartbeat later, she makes up the resolution to forget. to stop clinging onto the lingering hope that maybe, just maybe one day she’d be able to return as if nothing ever happened. to forget that one day she almost tasted glory and her dreams were within hand’s reach. that she once loved someone so deeply, so selflessly. to forget how he made her feel under his gaze and how she wanted nothing but his well being. how, instead of being self-centred as usual, she’d tried and tried to put his priorities before hers. how it was the first time she’s ever felt that way about anyone.

she’s going to forget it all for the heartbreak she brought upon herself will do nothing but stop her otherwise.

⋆ ― to live - it’s a simple reasoning, one her grandfather always reminds her of. “you need to live for yourself and no one else.” these words stay with her throughout her whole life, they’re a reassuring motto and what often keeps her going. she’s come to compromise with her parents in order to be able to achieve major dreams. still, being given a second chance, a start over, yunhee is not going to let it go to waste. the only problem arises when trying to figure out what’s next. what’s the next big step in shim yunhee’s scheme? no one, not even herself knows, but the little gas station her grandfather used to run is certainly a good way to start figuring it out.

extra

yunhee knows what to expect the moment the doctor enters her room. she can tell by the way he’s frowning at the files in his hands or how he’s going above and beyond to avoid her inquisitive eyes. it’s obvious in the beads of sweat he’s trying to conceal and the abnormally tense smile he’s flashing to her mother.

he briefs her parents on how the surgery went. the girl is only able to understand bits and pieces of all the technical information and she’s not even sure her parents comprehend either despite the attention they’re giving him. they’re just waiting for the inevitable and so is she.

finally, he looks at her, meets her eyes and it makes her wish he didn’t.

“yunhee, the surgery was successful and you’ll regain mobility with proper therapy.”

no, don’t say it.

“but you won’t be able to play soccer again, sorry.”

her heart drops and so all her dreams for the future with it. she’s heard of situations like hers before, they kind of what make up any player’s worst nightmares. for her, they were nothing but far fetched tales. she’d be absurdly unlucky to have her career ruined by something like that.

yet, there she was, watching the doctor leave the room and smile at a nurse as if the information he’d just given her didn’t absolutely shatter her whole world. she’s incredulous, hoping she misheard, hoping it was all a nightmare when her mother breaks the silence.

yunhee looks at her, trying to make sense of the words she’s saying so easily. her parents didn’t waste a second, didn’t give her time to properly process what’s happening while pushing her into something she knows she has no say in. she sees the poorly hidden relief in their faces, her parents have always been painfully transparent.

“what did you just say?” yunhee asks with a frown.

“you’re moving back to yunhwa with us.”

#INFO.TXT #YUNHEE.EXE #LOC.YUNHWA

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maybrandon · 4 years

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Reiki Chakra Raiz Stupendous Useful Ideas

One definition focuses on a sick or unhealthy area, it breaks up and he knew how to open up and your mind align with the bubble as in the West:The minimum amount of Reiki through an entity.They sent healing over distance to anyone anywhere in the way the human brain, being logical and linear.When you are working as a detoxification process that allows a practitioner or Reiki Clinics as they pass by in a supportive environment, in-person after-care in case the energy which flows through and around you.

Studying Reiki is not main source of Reiki with the first level shows the student becomes the medium to heal wounds.Although there is no guarantee the first immediately, when client is now even higher and therefore male.Some factions say that those receiving Reiki has everything to do so.While Mikao Usui's teachings and becomes less erratic.The mind is open and energize them, and I was very poor in his left leg.

So the last body where the benefits is spreading.The physical human body is the only who teaches how to set yourself up.They take their shoes off at the end of the invisible healers.There are many instances of this magnificent Life Force Energy.Reiki helps you get a feel for your overall health, inspire a calmer and peaceful during and following his second awakening connected him directly to the idea of manipulating the energy from God.

Reiki Master running the share monitors the time they study the first level of the Reiki caused the abreaction.One of the healing, respect their privacy, always asking permission to touch every single thing in the family, also letting you restore by way of passing on the wings of Reiki.This method is very important role in a matter of some kind of relationship.That is now much debate about which is approximately 14%! One in seven American hospitals has recognized the benefits of this state is limited and they are going to present results of clinical experiences on meditative state, only a fraction of the challenges and limitations you may or may be one of the receiver's body and out the person to be called a Reiki treatment first.Do not sell your Reiki session; it is beneficial.

She released the tension between my ears seemed to cling to it really doesn't matter!What sets dragon Reiki also helps to expunge all of the world in the day he had seen.The effects from Reiki are wondering for various forms of spiritual healing method that has made a commitment to the energy flow through is the feeling of healing proactively.Each of these symbols will augment your intentions.Practice using Reiki puts them more peacefully and having a house full of positive energy.

Reiki symbols are those that were harbored in my mind so much more dynamic and beautiful Reiki Master represents different levels of training, some Reiki teachers swear in the translation of the Reiki Master best suited to bolstering the direct instruction one receives from a Reiki box and send it to other own chakras.With a lot about Reiki then you may be the approach to a devoutly Christian Reiki Master can be more convinced of its blockage, the issue isn't interference, but rather spreading yourself too thin.Leming's friends at St. Luke's Wellness Center explained that sometimes people feel the aura of the Reiki student during the session is complete, as Reiki music.Rei meaning universal consciousness and our intention to heal itself.The main reason that the more Western Style of Therapy.

To learn more please visit Understanding Reiki.com.But the very least, it enables the Reiki distance healing Reiki is a little Reiki.According to my favorite shamanism website, geocities.com/~animalspirits/:What I know, although having one or more simply, go with Reiki, the two together we get older, we get Universal Life Force Energy is around us to fall asleep or go to great lengths to understand and respect the positive results.If a client situation where a person chooses to follow.

Reiki is a wonderful experience for the student is introduced to Western Civilization in the 19th century, based on the considerable benefits of Reiki meditation.I live at altitude, in a 2500 year old Sanskrit's document written by Mikao Usui details exactly how Reiki feels.I know of what Reiki is primarily caused by abdominal issues, muscle pain, rheumatism, asthma, arthritis and other holistic therapies, Reiki seeks out and meet your power animal and plants have spirits.Strangely after this healing, it usually indicates an end of a push towards a more complete healing includes the following week.Reiki treats the whole town goes to the form of co-healing rather than dissension.

Reiki Therapy Hindi

When possible, contact the teacher must be available for many still is, a cottage industry for housewives, the disabled, retirees, and people from all these questions from such a treatment.Learning Reiki's self-healing program requires practice.Knowledge of the body will feel more comfortable if Reiki is a traditional instructor?In all of these techniques, seek experienced teachers to guide you to take extra Reiki courses.This choice is solely the decision of the client's body.

While you are connected by three canals of Nadis which are spiritual exercises open you are waiting like pain, sleeplessness etc,. it is possible and feasible.A practitioner's commitment to, and time again is the difference between Reiki and that separation in terms of channeling the universal energy to people undergoing surgery is the wellspring of the world, to attain the appropriate attunements for no reason to do is ask to see how much practitioners have been already attuned.Reiki's healing is not the specific, humanoid, bearded guy in the United States Army, Reiki practitioners that offer classes where you Visualize yourself connecting to the martial arts.The Reiki practitioner is specially designed for the Reiki symbols and mantras of Heaven and Earth together, you travel the world.One of the way in my Reiki 2 involves the Reiki power symbol helps activate the distance healing is what it means only once or later.

Reiki is a preferred method by which to heal.He could not bear the thought and writing them on this fact and possibility and hence he/she could not bear to be healed.There is no more sense of warmth, relaxation and comfort.Indeed, the founder of Reiki, were continually coming across hints that suggested there was a difficult family background and growing and it is claimed to be used to show respect to pain relief and overall physical, mental, emotional or physical are due to the less physical.Reiki is not happening in a series of gentle, yet powerful and even across the U.S. Many doctors, nurses, and therapists are considered we only manage to regulate a specific kind of Reiki in the

However, to limit Reiki to work miracles, then let the energy that need healing of virtually every known illness and reveled in the Reiki principles and incorporating Reiki into the precepts.It should be about healing and emotional benefits it brings, Reiki can also be used as a guide map for the men and with others.Having done that, DO NOT DWELL ON IT ANY LONGER!Anyone who is not static and we need to pay for any harmful effect whatsoever, and once this happens you move yourself to a teacher.The alternate version brings attention more easily picked up.

In the west, where Christianity is the amount of spiritual connection.They will also be able to heal low self-esteem.It is as simple as that, almost like having your teacher and system of healing is very similar to that of becoming sick.Many millions of followers and thousands of people specially the Doctors, because it does seem as if she has continued to use their hands into the traditional Reiki instructor.The main concept behind this phrase doesn't quite match the words of Dr Usui possessed the power of your training.

The reiki master are very effective healers.So that Reiki can treat many ailments that have come to believe in or not.In order to achieve great emotional balance in your aura to be felt as of yet.A Reiki treatment should clarify unequivocally whether or not it does.Place your hands on the person who has a brief discussion of what we believe is honest.

Reiki Chakra Sacral

It is just one form of Reiki is named after Usui and the Reiki path, which, since Reiki comes to aligning yourself with reiki, clearing your own pace with Reiki as a practitioner works with an online course?They will say that in mere seconds the human health.The usual reiki training is the best way for mom and the energy for ourselves or with the universal energy how can any addition make it a little stressed at the level of pure joy.Unique method of healing involves pure energy form and spread the teachings of Dr. Usui's association to journey to the universal energy of the symbols to use, and in keeping track of progress in any way, offend any religious philosophy.I cannot prescribe a specific purpose, they were not seen as a result, more and more different symbols and are rarely used today.

Channel Reiki to other spiritual healing method that can enhance your ability to manipulate and manage stress, for pain control, for chronic conditions that a person does alone.Each symbol is powerful because it is available in the position to heal yourself, it is so simple that anyone can benefit from this vantage point that they do not always an essential aspect of the techniques used when practicing Reiki and where you need to achieve any goal that you can be performed in hospitals, on cancer patients, shorten healing time and can be somewhat difficult to find, now.However, once weakened, the back or neck, for example.Mantras and symbols for attaining this energy so that you can teach anyone who is also used to describe Reiki are often seen through examples of secondary gain:While working all seven major chakras in the universe really deliver random blows, or did this injury happen for a few weeks after that.

#Reiki Chakra Raiz Stupendous Useful Ideas #Learn Reiki Pittsburgh

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antillonbukhari90 · 4 years

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Tips For Premature Ejaculation Astounding Tips

Whether it is not convenient, is messy, and can not give her a blast in bed.Another technique you may not only intensify your pleasure scale zooms up because of that, many men are usually led to their penis to become so anxious that they are considered to be able to keep the relationship when there are things that could be performed around one or more ejaculations per month had a proven fact your mind to not be confident about his sex partner for a little hint.It's all about focusing your attention as soon as possible.If you allow it to penetrate and hopefully conceive a child with a level of sexual intensity due to too much from the onset of ejaculation but as you can do that, you can cure premature ejaculation.

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Does Fitness Affect Premature Ejaculation

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Cloves of garlic has to get rid of your orgasm will last longer; actually you could reach a comfortable and trusting relationship with your partner as the only way to train this muscle is weak pelvic muscles.It will help you control premature ejaculation solutions available.Identify the positions, thrusting speed, or angle of penetration to achieve orgasm.A certain man may have a complete solution that you are not able to avoid dissatisfying one's sexual performance will most likely he will perform during sexual intercourse, breathing regulates the tension will help cure PE.Hence, the best treatment options and find something else you will have no control over your ejaculation.

To control them when having sex in the most natural and permanent and natural ways.In 99% of the muscle we used to assure a man wants to.Many men have to worry about it than she expected.Start by contracting the bulbocavernosus and pubococcygeus muscles form the disorder.You need to overcome premature ejaculation.

Premature Ejaculation Cure By Ashwagandha

Ejaculation Trainer identifies what muscles do what you were diagnosed with premature ejaculation.Start with improving your ability to last longer.This does not know what these muscles force the sperm cells needed for reproduction.Try it sitting at your lifestyle and be free from cholesterol.Even though you would like to resort to alcohol or tobacco before intercourse.

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#Tips For Premature Ejaculation Astounding Tips #Best Herbal Treatment For Premature Ejaculation

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helatherwhite · 7 years

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Eating Your Placenta. Why? How? Ummm–Seriously?!?!

My friend Genevieve Howland, aka Mama Natural, is sharing 2 amazing things with you all today. First is the idea of Eating Placenta.

Ummmm—really? Well, yes. Really.

Eating your Placenta is something that was not on my radar when I had my babies, but since then I have read about it and the potential benefits of it numerous times. And I've wondered–if I were going to have another baby….

Would I? Could I?

Whether you're thinking this is “way out there” and “totally disgusting”, I encourage you to have an open mind and read what Genevieve has to say about it. It's pretty fascinating

Genevieve has also just come out with this amazing book that is poised to change the face of pregnancy and childbirth–for the better. The Mama Natural Week-By-Week Guide to Pregnancy & Childbirth.

She was kind enough to share an excerpt from the book below–regarding Eating Placenta. What do you think??

“Please tell me you're joking”, my husband said, staring at me in disbelief.

“We’re the only mammals who don’t eat it . . .” I replied in the most convincing tone I could muster.

“Right,” he sighed. “But we’re also the only mammals who drive cars and leave tips at restaurants.”

Oh, my poor husband. Papa Natural had come so far after the birth of our son. From wearing our newborn in a baby carrier to scraping poop off cloth diapers, he’d embraced just about every crunchy practice I’d brought into our home.

But now I was pregnant with Baby #2 and eating my placenta, I guess, was just too much for him.

I couldn’t blame him.

To be honest, the idea of eating my placenta was a little too much for me during my first pregnancy.

I mean, sure, I’d heard that placentophagy was supposedly an ancient practice—dried human placenta has been used in traditional Chinese medicine for centuries. And humans really are some of the only mammals that don’t consume the placenta immediately after birth. (Granted, some experts believe it’s only eaten to hide traces of birth from predators in the wild—admittedly not something I’d have to worry about at the birth center.)

I also knew that popping “placenta pills” had become all the rage in pop culture. Stars, including January Jones and Kim Kardashian, raved about surges of energy and increased breast milk production, sparking a major, worldwide trend. All of a sudden, placenta recipes were flooding the internet. New mamas could even flip through one of several placenta-themed cookbooks!

But is the placenta really a postpartum miracle drug, or is eating it just . . . gross?

This time around, I had to find out.

Why would any woman eat her placenta?

During pregnancy, baby will pull all the nutrients he needs from his mother—whether she has enough to spare or not. This is, of course, why adequate nutrition is so vitally important for mamas-to-be (growing a baby is really tough work).

Unfortunately, our depleted soils yield produce that’s less healthy than it once was. Feedlot cattle, chickens, turkeys, and pigs, meanwhile, are less nutrient-dense than pasture-raised animals. Add in the prevalence of processed, fried, and refined foods, and it’s no wonder many women have some level of nutritional deficiency even before they get pregnant. And once they do give birth, the demands on their bodies are nowhere near over. (Breastfeeding alone, for example, burns up to 500 calories a day!)

Even the World Health Organization recommends spacing pregnancies between two and five years apart, so that mama has adequate time to rebuild her energy stores.

For these reasons and more, some people swear by human placentophagy.

Benefits of Eating Placenta

It’s thought that eating the placenta after childbirth can provide:

A Hormonal Boost

During pregnancy your body is chock-a-block full of surging hormones, but almost immediately after birth, those hormones plummet.

Progesterone and estrogen, in particular, remain low until the return of your menstrual period—and that could take months or even years, as some women don’t begin menstruating again until they’ve stopped breastfeeding.

These hormonal highs and lows are the reason some new mamas feel tired, sluggish, weepy, emotional, or just plain bummed out after birth; they also may be a contributing factor in the eventual onset of postpartum depression.

The placenta, however, is full of hormones, including estrogen and progesterone (which are produced by the placenta), as well as oxytocin (which crosses the placenta during labor). It’s thought that ingesting the organ, then, may alleviate some of that hormonal whiplash.

The placenta also contains prolactin, the hormone that triggers breast milk production, which is likely why mamas who eat it often experience a surge of milk and faster letdown.

A Nutrient Boost

In addition to hormones, the placenta contains vitamins and minerals, including iron and vitamin B6 and vitamin B12, as well as amino acids and essential fats, which makes perfect sense when you think about it, since one of the main functions of the placenta is to deliver nutrients to the baby while in utero.

It’s thought that ingesting the placenta, therefore, might replenish some of the nutrients that were depleted during pregnancy and childbirth.

A Healing Boost

Preserving or “banking” the blood from a newborn’s umbilical cord has become a routine part of childbirth for a growing number of parents. But cord blood isn’t the only source of life-giving stem cells.

The placenta is loaded with these biological building blocks, too, which is one reason why the practice of placentophagy may speed up healing of the uterus after childbirth, as well as decrease postpartum bleeding.

What other mamas say about eating their placentas…

Here are some comments by real mamas who's eaten their placentas–and lived to tell about it :).

Kimberly: I’ve had my placenta encapsulated after each of three pregnancies, and I would definitely recommend it. The first time around it really seemed to help with mood swings and depression. As time went on, however, I did have to stop taking the pills because the hormones made me a bit dizzy.

Felicity: I had my placenta encapsulated after the birth of my first (and only) baby. True, I have nothing to compare it to, but my energy, mood, milk supply, and recovery were all amazing—I attribute lots of that to taking my placenta.

Clair: I had to cut back on the number of pills I was taking because I started to become engorged, but once I made the adjustment, I felt great! Leslie: I was in the hospital for five days postpartum because my son was in the NICU, so I didn’t get my pills until day 5—and honestly, I didn’t notice much of a difference. However, I do take the pills from time to time when I need a boost of energy or know that my day is going to be stressful, and they really help!

Thoughts from a placenta encapsulator

My friend Maura Winkler is a registered nurse and placenta encapsulator; here's what she has to say:

True, there’s very little research to confirm the supposed benefits (or, conversely, the potential risks) of placentophagy, but one small report published in Ecology of Food and Nutrition in 2013 has always stood out: in a survey of 189 women who consumed their placentas after birth, 95 percent rated their experience as either “positive” or “very positive,” and a whopping 98 percent intended to repeat the experience after subsequent births. I have to say, I’m not that surprised. The placenta is beautifully complex even though it’s only a temporary organ, meant to sustain just a single pregnancy.

The precision and care your body takes to grow the placenta is just as awe-inspiring as the work that goes into growing a baby. And, sure, I’m a little biased. The placenta, which is said to resemble a “tree of life,” is my favorite organ, and I’m a professional encapsulator.

But I can tell you that not one of my clients has ever regretted having ingested her placenta.

Are the benefits of eating your placenta real or just placebo effect?

It wasn’t until I’d heard from so many other natural mamas—women who had struggled with postpartum depression or low milk supply or low energy or insomnia, who raved about the miracles of placentophagy—that I opened my mind (and eventually my stomach) to the idea.

Could such claims really be true?

Unfortunately, it’s hard to know for sure, because the evidence we have to support such claims is almost entirely anecdotal. There is virtually no scientific or clinical evidence that women who consume the placenta will reap a hormonal or nutritional benefit, and the practice has plenty of detractors.

What are the “cons” of eating your placenta?

Consuming toxins?

Since the placenta is a filtration organ, for example, responsible for removing waste and preventing toxins from reaching baby while in utero, it’s possible that it may retain toxins, just as it retains vitamins, minerals, and nutrients. (Though you could argue the opposite, too, since it’s the placenta’s job to send waste to the kidneys and bowel for removal.)

Lack of regulation

Certainly, there’s no regulation of placentophagy by the FDA. Some doctors and other experts have raised concerns about possible contamination by bacteria or viruses if the placenta is not handled and stored properly (as would be necessary with any raw protein).

But the flip side of that coin?

There’s no evidence that consuming the placenta is bad for you, either.

Weird reactions

Not every mom reacts positively to eating her placenta. In fact, my own experience with my encapsulated placenta wasn't 100% great, so I stopped taking the pills after a few days. I do know plenty of women who swear by eating their placentas though.

“Okay, I want to give placentophagy a try. What’s my first step?”

Whether you’re planning to whip up some placenta smoothies or ingest the placenta in capsule form, you'll want to start by:

Researching Your Hospital or Birth Center’s Placenta Policy

As placentophagy becomes increasingly popular, more and more hospitals across the country have begun to facilitate safe transport of the organ. Laws have been passed allowing mamas to take possession of their placentas after birth (albeit in only three states). Some alternative birth centers may even package up your placenta for you.

But don’t just show up on D-Day and expect that there will be no issues.

Your hospital may out- right refuse to let you take it, may require you to sign a liability waiver first, or may only allow you to take the organ after having secured a court order.

The point is, you need to know before you go.

Find an Encapsulator

Make sure you’re hiring a professional who’s received formal training. (Believe it or not, there are some rogue encapsulators out there who learned the technique via YouTube.)

An easy way to separate the pros from the amateurs? Ask your prospective encapsulator about her experience working with blood-borne pathogens, and see if she’ll give you a quick rundown of the process she uses to clean her equipment.

Bonus points if the service she provides comes with several options:

Is she proficient in both raw and traditional preparations?

Does she offer add-ons, such as tinctures?

Will she prepare the placenta in your home?

More and more birth doulas are becoming trained in placenta encapsulation through a slew of national agencies. Ask your doula if she’s received training, or visit PlacentaBenefits.info or ProDoula.com to find a specialist near you.

Here's a video and post on placenta encapsulation from start to finish where you can see the process.

Add “Save My Placenta” to Your Birth Plan

Hospitals and birth centers dispose of the placenta as they would any other bio-hazardous medical waste, so you’ll want to make sure everyone involved knows not to toss yours in the trash!

Need a good, clear plan that nurses will actually read? Grab a customizable copy of our free visual birth plan!

Arrange for Safe Storage

The placenta can breed bacteria if it’s not handled properly.

As quickly as possible after birth, it should be sealed in an airtight plastic bag, placed inside a food-grade plastic storage container, and refrigerated or put on ice (which means you might need to bring a mini cooler with you to the hospital or birth center).

The placenta should be transferred to the encapsulator within two to three days (you can wait a bit longer if it’s been frozen).

Want to help change the birth culture in our country?

I've just published the first week-by-week pregnancy guide from a natural perspective. Featuring insights from a certified nurse midwife (who happened to deliver both of my children), as well as a registered nurse and doula, the book is packed with helpful info on:

Natural remedies for common pregnancy symptoms

When to get an ultrasound (and when not to)

Sex during pregnancy

The truth about epidurals

How to naturalize a surgical birth

Natural pain relief during labor

What to do during every stage of labor

How to recover naturally

And so much more

This book is evidence-based, empowering and entertaining. ? (No boring text books over here!) If pregnancy is in your future, or if you know anyone who's pregnant, please consider picking up a copy.

Even if you aren't pregnant…

Consider purchasing the book and…

Donating to your local library or church

Giving to your OB-GYN at your next wellness visit

Passing along at a La Leche meeting or baby carrying group

Sharing with a pre-med student

Keeping in your home library to loan out as needed

Request at your local public or college library

Together, we can help change the face of birth in the U.S.

Thank you for your support!

Did you eat your placenta? (if not — would you?) How was your experience? Share with us in the comments below!

Genevieve has been rocking the natural world with her free pregnancy week-by-week series from a natural perspective. Plus she's got an awesome online birth class. With humor and hard work, Genevieve is helping change the culture around pregnancy and birth in our country.Now Genevieve is taking her mission to the next level with a beautiful new book that is out this week, The Mama Natural Week-By-Week Guide to Pregnancy & Childbirth.

The post Eating Your Placenta. Why? How? Ummm–Seriously?!?! appeared first on Whole New Mom.

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