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mandoalorian · 4 years

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What the Pedro boys are like at college

This is my first time doing one of these so please be nice! Yep, TUWOMT isn’t out yet but I have read the script and I have written for Javi Gutierrez here. If you don’t want spoilers, maybe don’t read his scenario. I’ve made it so Javi’s is the last one so you can skip over it easily. I write for all the main Pedro characters! These include:

· Din Djarin – The Mandalorian

· Javier Pena – Narcos

· Frankie Morales – Triple Frontier

· Maxwell Lord – Wonder Woman 1984

· Jack Daniels: Kingsman: The Golden Circle

· Oberyn Martell: Game of Thrones

· Dave York: The Equalizer 2

· Pero Tovar – The Great Wall

· Ezra Prospect – Prospect

· Marcus Pike – The Mentalist

· Max Phillips – Bloodsucking Bastards

· Dio – NYPD Blue

· Javi Gutierrez – The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

· I DO NOT WRITE FOR PEDRO PASCAL.

Please please request a ‘Pedro boy’ scenario HERE. You can also request for me to write a one shot HERE.

Masterlist

Enjoy!

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Din Djarin: Does college exist in Star Wars? I’m not sure… but if we take a moment to imagine Din being schooled by the Mandalorian Creed. He learns the history of Mandalore, about the great leaders such as Satine Kryze. He learns the importance of ‘the way’ and studies the art of weaponary, learning how to use guns, detonators, vambrace, and whistling birds. He learns about the legacy of the darksaber and, as we already know, he trains with the Rising Phoenix. I imagine Din likes to keep himself to himself and has been a loner his whole life. He places his trust in his fellow Mandalorian’s but they are not his friends. They are simply just his allies. Being schooled in the Mandalorian Creed would be physically exhausting but it’s something Din can manage. After all, he doesn’t have a choice. This is the way.

Javier Pena: We know Javi always wanted to leave Texas, and I think college was the perfect time for him to venture out. He didn’t choose a school with a pristine academic reputation, but instead, he picked a school that had the best renowned night life so he could go out and enjoy drinking and partying. Javi wasn’t a complete wild card. He was the kid who seemed to be good at almost everything. He was able to graduate top of his class with honours in Criminal Law.

Frankie Morales: When Frankie was younger, he loved helping his dad work on the family car and he even scored a part-time job at a garage when he finished high school. At high school, he never really found interest in the core subjects like English, math, science, history… and so when it was time for college, he wanted to develop on his hobby. Frankie chose to major in engineering, with a minor in transportation and logistics. This was perfect for him. In his second year, he went from looking at cars and motorcycles, to different forms of aircraft. He remembers one morning, he sat in the pilot seat of a helicopter after the fuel compressor had went bust and he had never felt more at home. On a whim, he dropped out of college and was lucky enough to get a place in piloting school. Frankie stuck by Santiago throughout college, but while Santi went out and partied, Frankie would slump down in his chair, drink a few beers, and be ready to head back to his dorm at 9pm. He had a few flings in college but had no interest in pursuing an actual relationship. It was important to him that he used his time in college to discover what he really wanted to do with his life.

Maxwell Lord: He probably went to Cornell, or Harvard. Maxwell could’ve gotten in from his family name alone, and if he wasn’t the most academically bright, no doubt his mother would’ve paid him into college, but Maxwell had always been smart. He was home schooled his whole life and so college was a big change for him. He worked hard. He showed up to every class early, and handed in homework and dissertations early, and used his charm to schmooze with the teachers, doing all he could to make sure he got the best grades. Maxwell majored in Business and Economics, and minored in Marketing. He didn’t have much choice in what he studied in college because he had his life set out for him the moment he was born. Maxwell didn’t have friends, but that’s not to say he was a loner. Everyone on campus knew who Maxwell was, and everyone knew the kind of family he came from.

Jack Daniels: Despite Jack and his high school sweetheart going their separate ways for college, they couldn’t stay away from each other for long. He was a Political Science major but never really cared much for it. He had a lot of friends, was a care free spirit and attended parties. He is someone who has natural academic ability but his failure to attend class and do homework meant that he, inevitably, began to drag behind. Realising political science isn’t for him, he dropped out of college and moved in with his high school sweetheart. He much preferred it that way, and he was able to be with her all the time. Having his company meant that she was now distracted from her studies and when she fell pregnant with their first child, they decided to run away from college all together and start a family far away.

Oberyn Martell: Is there college in Game of Thrones? I’m not sure, but a modern! Oberyn would major in classical studies and minor in philosophy. He is a prince, after all. He excels in both subjects and picks up languages such as Latin and Greek easily. It comes natural to him. He passes with flying colours and never has to try too hard because the words of Aristotle and Plato were engrained into his brain ever since he was old enough to read a book. As prince, he knows it is important to graduate with honours and that it’s his priority but that doesn’t mean he can’t make time for fun. He doesn’t commit to any relationship during college but does embrace his sexuality. He’s kind, gentle, and respectful. He’s a really great lover, but an even better friend.

Dave York: Dave studied criminology and forensic science at college. He was able to learn the ins and outs of criminal psychology and the process that cops and forensic teams go through when trying to trace a murder. His knowledge in this subject sure helped him in later life. He passed with flying colours, but never wanted a career in crime – or at least, not a career you’d need a degree in. But his newly received qualification, Dave decided to join the CIA as an operative where he met Robert McCall. He played good guy for a long time, but his bad intentions linked to criminal activity traced all the way back to college. He met his wife in college, and truthfully, she was the only thing who kept him from spiralling into criminal activity at an earlier stage.

Pero Tovar: Again, I am almost certain college didn’t exist during this time period but if we make it a modern AU, I think Pero would have majored in geography and minored in cultural studies. He had a goal to travel the world and see all the magnificent places. Pero was a grumpy adolescent, and seemingly he never really grew out of it. He had a group of people he hung out with who were similar to him but he never really considered them friends. He didn’t partake in extracurricular activities and he would just focus on studying. But he did have a flare in art which was lost on him during later life. He used painting as an emotional outlet and a means to express his feelings.

Ezra Prospect: I guess this is a modern! Ezra then. He studies geology, and he’s really smart. He does a lot of reading, but he actually prefers non-fiction over fiction. His interest in geology goes past his degree, and he actually collects a variety of rocks and gemstones, going into deep research about them and believing that certain ones possess healing powers. Ezra has a partner throughout his time in college, and they spend a lot of time with each other. Ezra’s partner encourages Ezra’s love for geology and finds his passion endearing, even encouraging him to earn an income from his knowledge! You help Ezra use the rocks that he collects to create bath salts and make jewellery to sell on and earn profit.

Marcus Pike: Marcus was an art and design major, and all his teacher’s loved him. He was never the best at the practical side, but he excelled in art history and his knowledge on the subject was outstanding. Marcus had one long term relationship during college but his partner ended up breaking his heart. It took a long time for Marcus to recover, but he’d always been one for second chances. He’d hope that he’d never get his heart broken again.

Max Phillips: Max was a bit of a player in community college; a jock, who studied his undergraduate in Physical Education. When Evan had Max kicked out for sleeping with his girlfriend, Max went and studied Sales Management at a university just for Vampires. Filled with a feeling of wrath and hatred for Evan, Max made it his mission to ruin him. No more time could be spent partying in his fraternity, playing soccer for the college team and sleeping with the cheer leader’s – Max made it his goal to graduate from Vampire University with a top major and steal the job of leading Sales Manager from Evan. And that’s on holding grudges.

Dio: Yeah, Dio didn’t go to college. He dropped out of high school when he was fourteen. In his youth, his hobbies included making fire and stealing from the rich.

Javi Gutierrez: He’s a film major of course! He was born into a rich family, we know that, and comes from a very financially privileged background. His parents knew that he did not have to pursue a degree in something that would ensure him a job, because Javi would be well off no matter what, and so they were fine with Javi doing something he was truly interested in. Javi has loved literature, art and movies his whole life. He minors in screenplay writing and excels top of his class, constantly impressing those around him with his ability to memorise anything from one liner quotes to whole scenes from movies. He shares his extensive knowledge of trivia, and all his lecturer’s firmly believe that the film industry is something that Javi could one day potentially succeed in. However, Javi is awkward. He shy’s away from all the partying and spends Friday night’s in his dorm, munching on popcorn and watching classic movies. A relationship is never in question for Javi because of his family circumstances, so he just lays low and focuses on his studies. As soon as he graduates, he heads back home to Mexico and his dreams of being a famous Hollywood screenplay writer seem so distant.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #din djarin #frankie morales #javier pena #agent whiskey #maxwell lord #ezra prospect #javi gutierrez #pedro boys

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helloecoleglobale · 5 years

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Ecole Globale International Girls School : Delivers the Quality Education

Education has, is and always will be the boon of mankind, an educated nation will produce powerful leaders, the successful leaders are more likely to have more children educated and the cycle continues. A popular quote goes; “If you educate a man, you educate an individual, but if you educate a woman, you educate a nation”, amongst others, are some of the reasons Mr Amarjeet Juneja decided to establish an exclusive Girls’ International School more than half a decade ago. In order to bridge the gap of gender disparity, the founder decided to seek the blessings of the quintessential Asian Educational Charitable Trust, before educational activities kicked off.

Ecole Globale, located in Dehradun, India, is the poster child of top of the range schools in India and Asia, at large. Little wonder, it snagged the third position in India education World survey and number two in North India by Times of India survey. The boarding educational centre is second to none, when it comes to the quality of knowledge imparted on students. Also, the level of experience the students at Ecole Globale International Girl’s School garner over time, is a far-cry from what their counterparts benefit, as it is believed that it will come in handy even after they have left their classrooms.

Let’s have a look at some of the plethora of activities lined up in the school’s curriculum- the co-curricular activities slated in the school’s calendar. These include dance, music, arts, needlecraft and catering, the importance of students engaging in extracurricular activities cannot be overemphasized, not only does it help in cognitive functions but it also serves as a platform to help girls hone their skills in any sphere they might want to delve into in the future. Ecole Globale has the best teaching techniques.

In the world of nutrition, girls who happen to fall within the ages 9-16 like the students, are usually at risk of developing some nutrient deficiencies like anaemia, due to inadequate nutrient intakes. This is why it is the school’s topmost priority to always ensure that, their girls are well fed and their nutrient stores, not depleted.

Perched on the hills of Shivalik, over a scenic landscape of 40 acres is the state-of-the-art infrastructure which features numerous classrooms, laboratories, a computer lab and a huge sports complex. It will be safe to say that ambience of the environment is very welcoming. Students are made to feel like they are at a home away from home, parents go home feeling rest assured that their wards are in safe hands.

Conclusively, the educational institution assigns a few students to a teacher, to ensure that they all grasp what the teacher says and to monitor the girls.

#top girls boarding school #EcoleGlobale #best girls residential school

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thecloserkin · 5 years

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fic rec: Are You Mine? and I Want Some More by PoetHrotsvitha

fandom: Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate

pairing: Evie Frye/Jacob Frye

word count: 54k and 50k respectively (one is a direct sequel to the other)

Is it canon: yes

Is it explicit: this is the most explicit material i have thus far reviewed on this blog

Is it endgame: yesssss

Is it shippable: yes

One thing you guys should know about me is I don’t read a great deal of smut. I don’t actively avoid it either, and I for sure consume more smut in the context of fanfic than in professional published fiction because I feel the following quote in my bones: “It wasn’t that friendship needed to be sexualized, it was that erotica needed to be … friendship-ized.” So when I stumbled on this fic that is 80% smut stretched over the thinnest pretext of plot, based on source material I have zero familiarity with, what did I do but fall headlong for this pairing and this story. Bless you, anon who brought Fryecest to my attention, and praise the Lord for modern AUs where knowledge of canon is not mandatory.

Jacob and Evie Frye are twins born into an Assassin family and raised by their exacting taskmaster of a father to take down the Templars. There’s no Templars or Assassins in this modern AU of course, just Evie’s looming A-Levels and their absent academic of a father. Evie’s still the golden child, of course—she’ll follow in their father’s footsteps and get her Ph.D. Jacob is the problem child. He’s already fallen in with the Wrong Crowd, he’s impulsive, he drinks and gambles and mostly solves problems with his fists. His relationship with their dad is hella strained. And because this is supposed to be PWP the author wastes no time in ratcheting the sexual tension up to 11 by having Jacob pick Evie up from her posh school on his MOTORCYCLE, each of them pretending not to be so turned on they could have combusted from desire by the end of the ride. Cool cool cool.

Their relationship begins barreling in a dom/sub direction almost from the word go. Evie is one thousand percent the take-charge, Type-A personality, so the idea is that she needs to relinquish that control in the bedroom, and Jacob is the only one she trusts to dominate her. Because they’re twins and they balance each other out adfkdfkdfjdkfd. The scene in the beginning where Jacob tells her not to button up her blouse while she’s making breakfast, and she actually listens to him instead of ignoring or insulting him, holy shit that was hot. It starts so small but eventually he’s got her wearing a wireless vibrator to class and begging for her “punishment” when she takes it out without his permission because it was too distracting.

I imagine this is what the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon was about. I haven’t read 50 Shades of Grey myself, but I’ve interacted with people who rave about it and clearly got something out of those books, bad as they were. I’m not trying to compare the quality of this story to 50 Shades of Grey—it’s lightyears superior to that dreck—just that when I finished this fic I had the dazed realization that this was why people read smut.

There’s a throwaway line in Jacob’s internal monologue where he muses “they seem to be going about this backwards,” because he’s buying flowers for her the day after fingering her to a screaming orgasm, and yes I am 100% here for this trope. Ffs he sits with her in the library to keep her company while she studies! He waits for her/escorts her to her one hundred and one extracurricular activities! He’s a really immature 17-year-old and he’d never dream of doing this for anyone else, but when it comes to Evie he becomes suddenly sweet and thoughtful and solicitous. He’s constantly pausing in the middle of sex to ask for her enthusiastic & affirmative consent and reminding her to use the safe word. At the same time he’s madly jealous when anyone else shows a flicker of interest in her and he regularly makes her admit he “owns” her during their role-play. They are each other’s firsts which for some reason is really important to me in these kinds of they’re-teenagers-exploring-their-sexuality setups. This is Evie hitting up the lingerie boutique in preparation for their FIRST WEEKEND GETAWAY:

“I’m going away for the weekend with my-” Evie almost stumbled on the word, “-boyfriend.” What a strange concept.

I AM TRASH FOR THIS INCEST TROPE i love the way she stumbles over that word. Bc that’s not the box that Jacob occupies for her, is it? He’s much more than that. I love the way she alternates between begging him to put it in her cunt and calling him a prat and a shitheel; just because he’s the love of her life doesn’t make him stop being her insufferable little brother. You know what else I’m trash for? ALL the sneaking around tropes. One time while sexting with him in a storage closet at school she’s busted by one of the teachers and only barely has time to lock her phone before he confiscates it.

So the first fic ends with their dad finding the sexts and nudes on Evie’s phone, disowning them both, and Evie choosing to go to University of Edinburgh because their dad knows too many people at Oxbridge. The twins get a flat together and it’s happily ever after. Except no! In the sequel it’s ten years later and Evie and Jacob have returned to the house they grew up in to say goodbye to their dying father, and they’re ESTRANGED OH NO WHAT HAPPENED. Evie has a four-year-old in tow. We find out in fairly short order that the kid is Jacob’s, but Jacob doesn’t find out the truth until we’ve sent him through the angst wringer. The fic is about how they grieve and reconcile and how Jacob learns to parent, and this one is actually like 60% plot and I think I like it even better than the first one. This author’s note really spoke to me:

I’ve read a fair number of sibling incest modern AU fics in a few different fandoms and they all tend to end at “and then they ran away from their families and lived happily ever after/epilogue of sexy fun times possibly with the introduction of hey they've had a kid!”. And I mean I love that, don't get me wrong. But I guess I’m also weirdly preoccupied with the part about what comes after that, because it always seemed far too dreadfully simple an outcome. Normal relationships are rarely that easy, so why would these be? Then again I'm probably putting too much thought into a porn fic, LOL.

DEAR @poethrotsvitha, THIS IS A SIGNED PETITION TO PLEASE NEVER STOP OVERTHINKING THE PLOT OF YOUR PORN FICS. Like, nobody starts fucking their brother unless they really mean it, because the risk of the relationship going pear-shaped and the two of you still being stuck in each other’s orbit because there’s no “breaking up” with family? That’s a big risk. And also why incest pairings feel so high-stakes and I am trash for them, obvs. One of the reasons the dom/sub dynamic is so integral to their relationship was because Evie had a tendency to dictate to Jacob what he “can and can’t do,” and he understandably chafed against it sometimes. It’s what led to their breakup five years ago. And so him taking charge in the bedroom is a kind of counterbalance, and there’s a scene in this fic where she lets him role-play a noncon situation as a way to partly soothe his jealousy.

To a large extent it’s their son who brings about their reconciliation, but their son is also a hyperactive little git who throws a monkey wrench in their sex life, so now instead of hiding their relationship from their dad they’re tiptoeing around a four-year-old. And the big character development that happens on Jacob’s part is him recognizing that Thomas is Evie’s #1 priority now, and there comes a moment where he has to make a difficult decision to prioritize the two of them in his own life, too (by quitting his job and ending a toxic relationship). The other thing I really liked was how Jacob thinks ruefully he could have gone a another round if he were ten years younger, which he’s not, but Evie seems satisfied and that’s what matters. The recognition that he’s not a teenager anymore, and doesn’t have the stamina of one, but he’s also more mature and this time he’ll be able to give Evie what she needs? Oh, my heart. Like I said I loved them being each other’s firsts as teenagers but this, this second chance they’ve got as adults, this is beautiful.

Ok so this is Evie begging Jacob to fuck her in a closet in the middle of their dad’s funeral service??!:

“Please, I just need to forget. Just for a little bit- I need to forget, please-” Oh, God, this was a terrible idea. A terrible idea that she would die before she stopped- she felt like an addict after years of sobriety, pushed by stress and grief to needing that all-consuming high that she'd never quite been able to forget. Her fingers worked at his belt, pulling it open, unbuttoning his trousers to draw the heel of her palm along where he was already hard. “Evie,” he rasped, shuddering against her touch. “Shh,” she said, tucking his pants down enough to pull his cock free, giving it a few firm strokes. “Shh.” If they talked, it would be too real. It had to be rushed and frantic, to feel like it was just the once, to ease the ache in her chest.

And this is after they finish (“if only it could have lasted forever”):

Silently, she turned to let him zip up her dress … There was a warmth against the back of her neck as she felt him draw her hair aside and press a kiss to the sensitive skin, hesitant and uncertain. "Thank you," she breathed into the darkness, listening to the click of his belt as it slid back into place. He just sighed, leaning his forehead against her shoulder, saying a million things without speaking a word.

LEANING HIS FOREHEAD FOR A MILLISECOND AGAINST HER SHOULDER OMFG I AM DECEASED

Ok so to return an earlier point: When you want a canon incest happy ending in a modern setting (as opposed to if you’re both Targaryens) the most popular option is run away and live as an unrelated couple, which necessitates cutting ties with everyone you’ve ever known. This may be more or less difficult depending on the quantity and quality of those ties; unless this is Flowers in the Attic and you’ve literally been locked in the attic for years there’s bound to be people you care about other than your sibling so this is a monumental ask. The Fryes choose option B, “living openly as siblings and keeping the incest on the dl”. This option is not without risk, of course, since exposure is always a possibility, and Evie has to put up with the other moms at Thomas’s preschool eyeing Jacob like a piece of meat. Still, it means Thomas gets to bake cookies with his grandmother, who would not have let Evie and Jacob back in her life if they flaunted the truth. I mean, it’s not that she doesn’t know her kids are fucking, it’s just that a don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy allows everyone’s relationships to remain intact:

She seemed to be struggling to get the words out. “Is Thomas…” There were a few ways that this question could go, as far as Jacob could see, and he didn’t particularly want to deal with any of them. He leaned against the counter, palms rigid against the cold surface. “I’m really tired, Mother.” “I know. I just…” There was a terrible pause. “Are— are you and Evie…” Still facing the toaster, Jacob closed his eyes. He couldn’t muster a lot of fake outrage, but he planned to deny everything anyway. He didn’t care about how plausible it was. It was easier for everyone that way, especially Mother. Before he could open his mouth, though, Mother’s chair scraped back. “Actually, never mind. It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Every Wednesday Evie (who’s moved back in with her mom) leaves Thomas with his grandma and goes to “book club” which is really date night at Jacob’s. And the two of them get right up to their old tricks:

When he gave her just the slightest nudge upwards with his hips, she finally let a broken whisper rasp out. “I can't- I want- please-” Jacob clicked his tongue. “You know what I want you to say.” She twisted her neck around again, and he could see that her eyes were now glassy with longing. “Huh?” “It's simple— just ‘My greedy cunt belongs to my brother’. “ “I will not."

The process of turning that initial “no” into a “yes” is scorchingly hot so there you go, I love these two, I love this fic, I have definitely seen the light and I'm ready to embrace smut.

#fic rec #jacob x evie #evie x jacob #fryecest #jacob frye #evie frye #poethrotsvitha

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gethealthy18-blog · 4 years

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46 Ways to Give Experiences Instead of Stuff This Year (Even Last Minute)

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46 Ways to Give Experiences Instead of Stuff This Year (Even Last Minute)

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In the midst of holiday gift giving, I can’t help but think about the fact that often these well-intentioned gifts eventually lead to more stress, for the giver and the receiver. So much so that over time my husband and I decided to give experiences instead of material gifts as much as we can. After a few years of trial and error, this is now pretty much the norm in our family … and the results are amazing!

Even last minute, an experience gift can be easy to arrange, thoughtful, and rewarding to both giver and receiver. Going to the movies as a family, taking a painting class, making pottery, learning to scuba dive, or simply receiving a homemade “spa day” and a night off with the remote control … these are priceless memories or skills that last a lifetime.

Give the Gift That Lasts

Don’t get me wrong … I love giving gifts and always enjoy finding, wrapping, and giving the perfect gift to a family member or friend. Still, as a mom, I also dread the aftermath: the paper and toys all over the floor, the lingering messes, the kids complaining about having to clean up their toys …

As every parent has inevitably experienced at some point, the joy of material gifts fades quickly and even the most anticipated Christmas toys soon become a chore to clean up.

Which leads to my next question …

Are We Drowning in Too Much Stuff?

The dramatic success of the book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up provides a hint that perhaps many of us feel that we simply have too much stuff (short summary of the book = throw most of it away).

Turns out, we probably do!

Think for a second about your grandparents’ home when you were growing up. If it was anything like mine, it was probably a small house with even smaller closets. And the closets were not that full. And they raised six kids in that house! They also didn’t need drastic storage and organizing solutions or extra storage rental units.

Fast forward to present day. Joshua Becker, my favorite expert on the topic of clutter and minimalism (see my interview with him here), shared some sobering trends on his Becoming Minimalist blog.

Consider this:

Back in 2013, the LA Times reported that the average American home has over 300,000 items in it and there are over 50,000 storage facilities nationwide (and this is the fastest growing real estate segment!).

At least 1 in 10 of us have a storage unit to store our excess stuff.

There are five times more storage facilities in the U.S. than the number of Starbucks!

There is enough physical space for every man, woman, and child in America to stand in U.S. storage facilities — all at the same time!

Do we really have so much more stuff than people did just two generations ago?

Yes we do…

More Clothes

Our grandparents had an average of nine outfits, including dress clothes and work clothes.

Now, we have an average of 30, plus a lot of extra clothes that don’t qualify as an “outfit.”

The AVERAGE family spends $1,700 on clothes annually while giving or throwing away over 200 pounds of clothes per year.

More Toys

This is the part that really shocked me…

The average child in the developed world owns over 200 toys but only plays with 12 of them on average per day!

Even crazier? Only 3% of the world’s children live in the US, but they own 40+% of the world’s toys!

If It Makes You Happy…

Those staggering statistics about how much stuff we all own wouldn’t worry me if it seemed that the excess stuff improved our lives in some way or made us happier, healthier, or closer to our children … but that isn’t the case. To quote Sheryl Crow:

If it makes you happy It can’t be that bad If it makes you happy Then why the hell are you so sad

We have and consume twice as many material goods than we collectively did 50 years ago, but statistically we are much less happy.

54% of us report being overwhelmed with clutter and 78% of us have no idea how to overcome it!

This also leads to additional stress. Joshua Becker explains:

Over the course of our lifetime, we will spend a total of 3,680 hours or 153 days searching for misplaced items. The research found we lose up to nine items every day—or 198,743 in a lifetime. Phones, keys, sunglasses, and paperwork top the list.

Certainly, there is much more to why we are less happy than we used to be than just the excess clutter, but statistically, it is a contributor, and an easy one to address.

Why Give Experiences Not Stuff?

Many studies have shown that material possessions do not equal happiness and that experiences are much more intrinsically fulfilling that things. (Additional bonus: you don’t have to find a place to store experiences except in your heart, memory, and maybe in a photo book!)

A researcher named Thomas Gilovich at Cornell University has spent more than a decade trying to understand why experiences have the ability to contribute to happiness so much more than material purchases. Along with another researcher, Matthew Killingsworth, he published this research in the Journal of Psychological Science showing that experiences provide more lasting happiness than material possessions.

They basically concluded that people tend to get less happier with material purchases over time, and more happy with experiences. They speculate that this is because we adapt to physical things, so even the nicest car or newest phone becomes commonplace after enough time, while memories tend to get fonder over time.

Isn’t that fascinating?

Gilovich explains:

Our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material goods … You can really like your material stuff. You can even think that part of your identity is connected to those things, but nonetheless they remain separate from you. In contrast, your experiences really are part of you. We are the sum total of our experiences.

Gilovich and Killingsworth found that we remember even negative experiences fondly as a funny story or bonding experience. Experiences are also a uniting factor. You are more likely to bond with someone who enjoys the same hobby or activity or has traveled to the same places that you have than with someone who has a similar possession.

The anticipation leading up to a family trip, event, or experience even has the potential to provide happiness itself, making it the gift that truly keeps on giving! Happiness in the anticipation, happiness during the experience and happiness in the memories.

Beats the heck out of a pile of toys that you trip over while tucking the kids in at night!

It turns out that Aristotle had it right all those years ago: “Men fancy that external goods are the cause of happiness (but) leisure of itself gives pleasure and happiness and enjoyment in life.”

Give Experiences: The Importance for Kids

As important as shared experiences are for adults, they are even more important for children and for healthy psychological development. In fact, shared family time (even in simple things like family dinner together) is drastically important for a child’s well-being (much more important than the dozens of extracurricular activities we often neglect family time for).

Shared family time and experiences have been linked to:

bonding within the family

fewer behavioral problems in children

a stronger sense of identity

a sense of security for children

higher rates of academic success

lower rates of violence

Of course, these shared experiences can be as simple as time spent together during/preparing meals, while driving, or reading stories before bed, but prioritizing shared experiences as gifts helps reduce unwanted material items and fosters family bonding.

Our Rule for Gifts

You might have heard of the “4-Gift Rule” that some parents follow:

Something they want, Something they need, Something to wear, Something to read

We follow a variation of this focused on a few material gifts and a few shared experiences. Our kids typically get:

The “Want”: One Material Gift – Despite my preference for experiences, we do get one gift for each child that is strictly something they want. Often these end up being experience gifts as well like craft supplies or a sewing machine or the Gorilla Gym that has been a favorite in our house for years. Sometimes they are also educational gifts like a Roominate set, a Perplexus puzzle, or bulk Legos.

The “Need”: Experience Gifts – Each child gets at least one experience gift per year, and often we get them several more experience-based gifts as well (see my full list below). Since family experiences are so important for us, we consider these gifts a need so we prioritize and budget for them.

The “Wear”: Clothes – I’ve created capsule wardrobes for my kids and for holidays they often get one clothing item they need like a new coat or hiking boots. This may also be something fun, like dress-up clothes, if they don’t need any new clothing.

The “Read”: Memory Books – We try to take the kids to the library often since they get to choose so many new books without them taking up room on the shelves, but our kids do get a different kind of book as a gift. Each year, I keep a folder on my desktop for each child and throughout the year add pictures from field trips, birthdays, daily hikes, camping trips and other fun memories. At the end of the year, I compile each child’s photos into a hardcover book that I print through a photo service (like Shutterfly). This is my favorite gift to give them each year since it helps them relive and remember everything we did as a family that year, and it is a gift that they can take and show their own families one day. These books end up being the favorite gift every year (and bonus, the photo service saves them so I can reprint if one ever gets ruined!).

In addition, each child gets fun (and sometimes practical) stocking stuffers.

What About Extended Family Gifts?

Even once we decided to make the switch to experiences with our kids, it took a while to figure out how to approach the topic with extended family. We approached it in two ways:

Switching to giving experiences to family members as well

Gently explaining our reason for choosing experiences and encouraging extended family to give experiences as well

It has taken a few years, but extended family is now on board and the kids cherish the time with other family members as well. One year a family member took our daughter to see the Nutcracker, and grandparents often give memberships to museums or zoos, or gift certificates to go to a movie or lunch.

At the end of the day, we can’t (and shouldn’t) control what extended family chooses to give our children. Personally, I’m very grateful that our family has decided to prioritize experience-type gifts as well, but even if they didn’t and decided to still give material gifts, we would welcome these and teach our children to be grateful for these gifts (as the relationship with family is more important than arguing about the gifts).

45+ Ways to Give Experiences This Year

The average parent spends over $250 per child on toys and gifts each year! While experience-type gifts can be a little more expensive up-front, they end up being much cheaper in the long run. Especially when we consider that with that average, we’d spend over $1200 on gifts for our children, we don’t mind spending even a couple hundred dollars on a worthwhile membership or experience that will last all year.

The move away from material gifts was a slow one for us. We’re always adding to our running list of ideas, and each year we try to choose a few that sound suited to our current family ages and interests.

Maybe one of these will spark an idea for a special someone left on your list!

Family Gifts

Bigger memberships or vacations are often family gifts:

Escape Room – These are popping up everywhere and run about $15-30 a person. Check to make sure the theme is family friendly, but this is an ideal group activity Mom, Dad, and older kids can do with extended family for some fun quality time.

Museum Memberships – Check around for local museums that offer annual memberships. Many offer discounts for local residents or have programs for kids. We have found great deals on local art and history museums.

Science Center Memberships – Many cities also have a children’s museum or science center with an annual pass option. We found that it was cheaper to purchase an annual membership to a nearby science center than for our family to go one time! This is a great place to go on a rainy day and is a common destination for our Friday fieldtrips.

Orchestra Season Tickets – Even though we don’t live in a large city, we have a local orchestra that preforms every couple of months. I called and found that season tickets for children were extremely affordable (less than $8 a show) and this is now a fun family activity that the kids look forward to.

Community Theater Tickets – If you have a local theater, take children to these as well. This was our big family gift last year, and we got a few season tickets. My husband and I get to go to the more grown-up performances as date nights and we alternate taking the older kids to performances that they enjoy (like Annie, Rudolph, etc.).

Tent for Camping – Sometimes a material gift leads to an experience. This tent was a family gift a couple of years ago and we’ve used it quite a few times. (I picked that one because it is really easy to set up!)

Minor League Baseball Tickets (or college, or MLB)– We all love baseball (because it is the best sport 😉 ) and season tickets to our local minor league team have been a great family outing that lasts all summer long. Really, any sports ticket (college, pro, etc.) is a great family activity.

Nature Center Tickets – Check for local nature areas or nature centers in your area and see if they offer an annual pass. We’ve found these for nature centers, a local cave, and state parks.

Local Attraction Season Passes – Any other local attraction with a season pass can be a great gift. Check for other types of museums, historical sites, or local attractions.

New Family Hobbies – Take up hiking, camping, card games, a sport, or other fun activity and get the necessary equipment or passes for your new hobby.

Be Puzzled – Feeling brave? This 33,000 piece puzzle is the world’s largest. It might take you the whole year to put together and will foster a LOT of family time!

Fun Family Outing– Plan in advance a trip to a local amusement park, a family vacation, or other activity. Remember, looking forward to an experience makes the experience more fun and fosters happiness on its own!

Volunteer – Truly a gift that keeps on giving. If possible with your kids’ ages, volunteer at a local food pantry or charity and give your kids (and yourself) the gift of helping others!

Give to Charity – Another favorite in our family- we designate about $100 in end of year contributions per child to let them decide how to give. Most often, they love choosing gifts like farm animals, fruit trees, or educational supplies for those in need around the world through programs like Food for the Poor.

Gifts for Kids

Local Pottery Painting – An absolute favorite with our girls. Our local pottery place has dozens of options to paint and this has been a fun activity for the kids (and me!). Either pick out some unpainted places to paint or get a gift certificate.

Pottery Making – For older kids, some places offer pottery making lessons or classes.

Rock Climbing – Have a local rock-climbing gym? See if they offer annual passes or pick up gift certificates for a climbing outing with older kids. Bonus: It is a great way to get exercise too!

Local Jump Gym – Another fun activity that helps kids stay active. See if you have a local jump gym or indoor trampoline center and get annual passes or gift cards.

Batting Cage Membership – For a child who loves baseball, look for a local batting cage that offers year-long memberships or bulk discounts on packages. This is a great way to stay active and a fun outing with your child.

Bowling or Skate Tickets – These are getting harder to find, but if you have a local bowling alley or skating rink, ask them about family passes or gift certificates.

Every Kid in a Park – If you have a fourth grader, there is no excuse not to get this one: a free year-long pass to all the national parks with the “Every Kid In a Park” program. This pass provides access to national parks for everyone in your immediate family, not just the fourth grader, so it is a great family gift and is available to homeschoolers as well! (Here’s how to get it)

Treasure Hunt – If you are giving a material gift, make the giving itself a fun experience. Instead of wrapping up the final gift, wrap up a clue and let the child go on a treasure hunt to find the final gift (or figure out what it is and go with you to get it!) This is especially fun for a larger gift or experience!

Geocaching – Speaking of treasure hunts, geocaching is fun, free way to go on a treasure hunt with your kids almost anywhere in the world. You can learn more about it here.

A New Skill – If your child wants to try horseback riding, sewing, painting, or other similar activity, give them classes or ways to experience and develop this new hobby or skill. To keep it low-cost, see if you can find a family member or an elderly member of your community who might enjoy passing on the skill at a lower cost.

Lunch Dates – Give gift certificates to a favorite breakfast or lunch place to a child and plan a one-on-one date with that child.

Movie Tickets – We don’t go to the movies often, but often there’s some great family movies coming out around Christmastime.

Question Book – My kids all love this Question A Day Book and it gives us a fun conversation starter each day. The “question book” is a fun pre-bedtime activity at our house.

Learning Magazine Subscription – Our kids love getting “real mail” in the mailbox and extended family members often get them subscriptions to learning magazines. They look forward to the magazine coming each month and to doing the activities (and bonus: you can recycle the magazine when they are done with it!)

Craft Bucket – One of my favorite Christmas gifts as a child: a basket of craft activities that lasted me a year! My aunt filled a large basket with scissors, paper, glue, string, and every other craft supply imaginable. That basket led to dozens of hours of fun for me as a kid, and now my girls sometimes get activity baskets like this with crafts we can do together. My kids love getting books about how to draw, painting kits, sticker pads, construction paper, and other craft kits.

Garden Kit – Just like crafts, gardening is a great activity to do with children. If you have a budding gardener (pun intended) on your hands, wrap up some seeds and gardening supplies and let your child help you garden all year!

Musical Instrument – A favorite gift one Christmas was a steel drum that my husband has been teaching the kids how to play (though I admit, on a couple of especially loud days I have regretted the idea!). This is the one we got, and they have loved learning to play it. We’ve also ordered mini musical instrument kits for the kids to all create their own music.

Movie Night Packages – Our children don’t watch much TV, but we do love family movie nights. To make the tradition even more fun, we wrap up a new family movie DVD and some healthy snacks in a box for each child to let them “host” the movie night.

Game Night Packages – A game night is another great family activity, and giving each child one game was a fun way to expand our collection and they love playing “their game” when we have a game night. Some favorite games are Apples to Apples, Tsuro, Uno, Sequence, and basic card games.

DIY Gifts – My kids have enjoyed getting the supplies to make homemade soap, lip balm, lotion, or other DIY items that they can use or give as gifts. (Bonus: they are learning new skills too!) This paper-making kit was an especially big hit!

Gifts for Dad

Check out this post for ideas of usable practical gifts that dads will enjoy (and that help them be healthier, sleep better, etc.). In my experience, guys are the toughest to find experience-based gifts for, but here are a few ideas that my hubby has liked over the years:

Home Brewing – My hubby likes beer and I prefer when he drinks organic (or at least non-GMO) beer. A few years ago, he got into home brewing beer and it has been a fun hobby for him. I’d recommend this book to learn more about brewing, and while there are pre-made brewing kits, I’d suggest talking to a local home brew store if possible to find out what supplies and ingredients he will need.

Sports – Any sports-related experiences have been a hit with my hubby. I think my biggest (and most expensive!) surprise for him ever has been to get to go to spring training for his favorite team and even get to play with some of the players, but tickets to see his favorite teams play have also been a big hit. These all tend to be more expensive, so I had to save for several years for one of these surprises, but I think it ended up being an amazing and memorable experience for him.

Outdoor Activities – This will vary a lot depending on the guy, but finding ways to support outdoor experiences he already loves is a great gift idea. This might be finding time to camp as a family, or for him to go hunting, hiking, or play sports.

Scuba Certification – One year, my hubby and I gave each other scuba certifications as a gift. We got to go through the process together, and ended up with a great hobby we could enjoy (though not a great one for taking younger kids!)

Skydiving – Is your guy adventurous? Skydiving is a ton of fun and many cities have a local place you can go.

Gifts for Mom

Memes abound online about mom enjoying going to the bathroom alone, or her hobbies including eating without a child in her lap or sleeping in. These are some practical experience gift ideas that every mom will enjoy! Since moms deserve every good thing (ok, I know I’m biased), here’s a list of material gift ideas I’ve loved receiving as well.

A Day Off – Moms work hard all year, and things seem to get even busier around the holidays. One of my favorite gifts ever was a series of “days off” that I didn’t have to cook, clean, or have any household responsibilities (and it included a gift card to go out for coffee!). Even better (hint to dads), get together and schedule a moms’ night out for several of your wives to go to dinner together!

Pampering – With that whole “motherhood is pretty hard work” thing, any kind of pampering is an awesome gift, and one that mom may not do unless it is a gift. Massages are my personal favorite!

Date Nights – Getting time along can be tough with kids, so some of my favorite gifts ever have been pre-planned date nights when my husband handled the arrangements, lined up a sitter, and made the plans.

A Nap or Getting to Sleep in – This may be one of the toughest gifts to pull off, but one of the most appreciated. If you can figure out how to let mom sleep in for a day or take a nap, she will be grateful!

Any Family Gifts – Any of the family gifts listed above are also a great option to get for moms as they’ll enjoy the family time and the idea of an activity to do with the kids.

Gifts for Grandparents + Extended Family

Day Out with Kids – This has been a favorite for grandparents to give to the kids, but also to receive. The kids pick a fun activity they want to do with grandparents or extended family and give it to them as a gift. It might be something like going out for smoothies or playing at the park, or even a trip to the grocery store to gather ingredients and cook a meal together.

Amazon Prime – I know several extended family members who use Amazon all the time, but did not want to pay for the Prime membership. In the past, we’ve given these family members a Prime membership (click on “give the gift of prime” and enter their email address). This is partially a material gift as well, but tends to make purchases they are already making faster and easier.

Memory Book – Either make a photo book with a company like Shutterfly that showcases some favorite memories with the recipient, or let your kids make a homemade book by printing and cutting out pictures and writing captions.

Membership Add-Ons – For grandparents who live close by, you may be able to add them to any of the family memberships listed above. We added guests/grandparent options to our zoo and science center memberships as well as to many of the local attraction places. This allows them to come for free and spend time with our kids (and is a bonus for us as well, since we have extra eyes to watch and help with the kids.

Giving Experiences: The Bottom Line

Even if you’ve already purchased gifts for this year, consider adding some experiences as well or slowly transitioning to more experience-based gifts over time. The family time and memories are worth so much more than gifts, and statistically, giving experiences may help reduce your stress levels and contribute to family bonding.

Have you tried to give experiences instead of gifts in the past? What other suggestions would you add to this list?

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/62144/give-experiences/

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c4nindia-blog · 7 years

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SUPPORT UPAY TO TURN FOOTPATHS INTO SCHOOL – KETTO

ABOUT THE FUNDRAISER

You must have seen them. They are everywhere, at traffic signals, night markets, streets, peering into vehicle windows, bedraggled and haggard. They often come shoeless, dressed in dirty, scruffy, smelly clothes.

You must have felt for them. It is heart-rending to see little children begging on busy roads. At times, out of sheer pity, you gave some coins or money.

Then you must have ignored them. Think about the choices you have when such a hollow-eyed face stares through the glass: Either lower the window and risk having a sea of unwelcome faces descend on you, or stare ahead and ignore them.

Who are we?

As Nelson Mandela aptly said, “Education is the most powerful we can use to change the world”, we, at UPAY, are working towards the vision of overcoming disparities in education so that every child gets an opportunity to learn, to grow and to succeed. Founded in May 2010 by a group of young engineers from IITs and NITs in a small village called Kumbhari in outskirts of Nagpur, it has blossomed into a registered NGO with 26 fully operational centres across 5 cities in India.

How are we solving it?

We believe that if children can’t reach to school, a school must reach to them. With this thought in mind, UPAY started an initiative known as “Footpathshaala” in 2014 with a vision “To Replace Begging Bowls with Books” in Nagpur. A Footpathshaala is basically an open school near a footpath in a locality where street children beg and live. However, it is not confined to regular school teaching. Children are taught moral values which will help them become better humans, elementary level English and Mathematics and are involved in some extracurricular activities.

What are we raising funds for?

Through our Footpath Shala initiative, we have reached 400 students in a very short span of time. While we are very happy with what we have already achieved but we are relentlessly ambitious. Our aim is to reach 1000 Footpath students by 2020. We will achieve it but we need your help. This fundraising will help us to expand our centres while ensuring quality education.

You can sponsor a child education with just Rs 300 per month

The funds through this campaign will be used for the following:

Most of our classes are conducted by working professionals, due to which the scope of classes in cities like Delhi-NCR and Pune are limited to weekends. We are looking to hire D. Ed Teachers to have regular classes on our centres so that we can have a significant impact on their lives.

We don’t have shed at all centres, which is very important for us to conduct classes in summer or rainy season. We have not currently reached a stage where we have the liberty to discuss a fan.

We are partnering with skill-development organizations so that they teach skills which can help students to realize benefits of education in short-term too.

We are also starting ‘Playschool’ across our FootpathShala centres so that the younger siblings can be engaged in playful activities while their elder can focus on education.

Since we believe in full transparency, we would like to share how we have utilized funds of those who have instilled their trust in us:

Quoting Allan Bloom, “Education is the movement from darkness to light”, We would request you to light someone’s future this Diwali.

For more Details: http://upay.org.in/

In Collaboration with: https://www.ketto.org

Published in: https://www.ketto.org/fundraiser/upay

[Keep yourself updated at]

C4N India’s Facebook Page

www.c4n.in

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Share Your Story

#india #C4N India #C4N #awareness #fundraising #crowdfunding #help #education #children #kids #Ketto

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smesschoolmahim-blog · 7 years

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What Features to look out before admitting child to a School?

Every parent dreams to teach his kid at the best educational institute, to enable the kid to acquire a bright future. But how to decide which school is the best and which one is not? Lately parents are consulting experts in this matter, but one drawback of this type of consultancy is that many schools fund these experts to refer their educational institute to the parents in order to acquire admission of the child. Sometime it turns out this way that the educational institutes do not turn as expected, because their child only is taught in regards of passing examinations. Education is not only about scoring maximum grades in examinations, but it is about thorough learning. Education should enable an individual to invent and innovate. Education should make the kid confident and skilful. Education is about learning and learning is about living. While zeroing on a school in where the child is to be admitted, it is necessary for every parent to look out for the features that the school is providing in order to provide their child with a better tomorrow. Understanding this demand of the parents, here are some of the following key features that a parent should consider.

1. Look at the school history: Before anything else check the background of the school. The alumni, the teachers and the other faculty. Check with the reviews quoted by the existing students and their parents. All this will detail you about how the school is and will guide you at the right direction. In reference to this you may also check in with the reviews about SMES CBSE School, Mahim. Students and their parents have detailed elegant and standard reviews about the school which has ranked it among the top rated schools in Mumbai area.

2. Infrastructure: The second most important thing to look for. If the school has a wide infrastructure, then it means that the school is providing to students extracurricular activities with studies which leads to the students’ participation and development of his skills. It is necessary that the school has at least has a playground reserved exclusively for its students. Poor infrastructure may lower the child’s interest in attending the classes and may also lead to his decreasing grades. St SMES, parents will find wide area of playground and school infrastructure, which is well maintained, that encourages the students to come to school and enjoy the school.

3. Teaching: The most important thing to look out for. Ask the students in this matter how the teaching of a particular school of your choice is. Also take in consideration that the teaching should not be limited to textbooks, it should be a mixture of creativity and learning process. See that whichever the school is, practices creative method of teaching. SMES School, Mahim, have professionals who are trained teachers, who abide by the practice of teaching students with a sense of creative logic. This feature of SMES has ranked it among the most creative educational institute in Mahim.

4. School providing all round development of the students: School is just not for attending classes and examinations, but is also about encouraging all round development of students. Look what other facilities does the school provide apart from teaching, it is necessary that the school provides all round development of students in order to make them independent, liberal and more confident. SMES has been credited very generously by parents for making their kids more confident, liberal and independent. Such reviews from parents have raised SMES’s standard as a School for all-round development in Mahim.

There are these underlined features that every parent must look into before admitting their kid into a school. Remember it's the school which develops the kid into a Person!

#CBSE School Admission Mumbai #CBSE School Registration Mumbai #CBSE Schools With Smart Classroom #CBSE School With Modern Education

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benmattlin · 7 years

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I’m sorry…

Memoirs are based on memories. They are not reportage of facts. They shouldn't lie exactly, of course, but part of the bargain between memoirist and reader includes an understanding that this is just one person's subjective version of true events. The story as told is true to the writer's memory.

Nevertheless, I feel I must apologize to my readers. In my memoir, miracle boy grows up, I quoted from my college application essay. I quoted from memory, which is to say I made it up. The gist was true, but the actual quotations were manufactured. Since I was only quoting myself, I figured there was no harm. I also figured there was no choice. I didn't have an actual copy of the essay at hand and didn't think I could get one, since it was 30 years gone. But I was wrong.

I have now acquired a copy of the essay that helped me win acceptance at Harvard back in 1980. (A version of the same essay was sent to all the colleges to which I applied; there was no comment at in those days.) And boy, did I get it wrong! Please note, however, that this was the first time I'd endeavored to write about my disability, and it does pretty well reflect events depicted in the memoir. It's just that the actual quotations couldn't be farther from the truth.

For instance, in the book I wrote:

I focus on how TV- and comic-book-fueled fantasies “suffused my relationships with the physical world.” From the Mighty Thor to Captain Kirk and, perhaps especially, Chief Ironside, I’ve spent much of my life “identifying with embattled overachievers. Is it escapism because I can’t face my own reality? Perhaps. But there is more to it,” I propose.

My larger-than-life heroes, trapped in alien and sometimes hostile worlds “as our barrier-laden society often seems to me,” I write, “invariably prove themselves to be smarter, braver, and stronger than people expect. They give me hope and a model for patience and self-determination that I strive to emulate.”

Lots of SAT words in there. I’m particularly proud of the line: “Then adolescence struck, and I’ll never forgive it!”

So here, for historical accuracy, is the actual essay—verbatim, with the most relevant parts highlighted—and submitted to Harvard at the end of 1979. It was accompanied by two supplemental essays (which I think were better), to reinforce the point that, even then, I saw myself as a writer in training. I'll post the supplemental writing samples separately.

Here it is. And please forgive me for my inadvertent deception:

Ben Mattlin - 1

I am told that the first sign of my handicap was my inability to sit up by myself at seven months. In time, I was diagnosed as being mentally retarded, which my parents found absurd. After years of examinations by a horde of doctors, I had a muscle biopsy and was reported to have spinal muscular atrophy, a rare, inherited, neuromuscular disease that, in my case, is stable rather than progressive. Little is known of it, and nothing as yet can be done to cure it.

I attended a nursery school and kindergarten for "normal" children, I have a sense that I was very serious and aloofly observant of the otherg, though thie probably is not true. More likely, this was an image of what

I wanted to be. I admired the serious, the uninvolved, the nonconformist. This might have been a subsconscious defense against any social discomforts I may have had. If I was insecure about being physically different —— inferior —— what better way to reassure myself than to disassociate myself from the majority on the basis of spiritual or mental superiority. I

tend to deny this and say that I vas inclined to be serious because my idols, television characters like Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, the rough— and—ready Cartwright family, and Ironside, were serious and rather gruff.

Of all of my idols, Ironside is the most significant. Not only was he tough, serious, and wise; he, too, was confined to a wheelchair. I felt that I, like Ironside, could defend myself if necessary. When my friends saw a James Bond movie, they imagined themselves able to fight off physical threats. I, too, had such fantasies. I could not "kick back," and I accepted that, but I was confident that I could pay back any other child who "assaulted" me - by thinking. My unusual circumstance had honed my mental preparedness. Logic, rather than brawn, would be my retaliation.

This is not to say that my childhood was a succession of fights. With my bent for dramatic tension, I may have preferred it that way, but reality had something else in mind. Something gentler, After kindergarten, I attended the Walden School, the only non-specialized private school that was willing to accept a student in a wheelchair. I soon made many friends who helped me reach things and pushed me wherever I wished — even around the bases at top speed in our whiffle ball games.

I left Walden after eighth grade, because I wanted to go to a more academic schocl. Walden's philosophy of education deals more with developing students' personalities than exercising their brains. I say this scoffingly, not because I do not believe in social education, but rather because that often beeomes a guise for a lack of intellectual education. I transferred to the Rudolf Steiner School. Although it had steps at the entrance and was equipped with only a one—man elevator, it agreed to take on my disability. For the school, it was a new frortier; for me, it was old hat.

Then adolescence set in, and I'11 nevor forgive it. Not only was I a stranger in a new school, I became a stranger to myself. My admiration of the aloof had developed into acute sarcasm and anti—sociability. I found that these qualities were not appreciated at Steiner. (They had not been popular at Walden, either, but Walden was bigger, and I was part of a group of anti-"socialites.") I had difficulty relating to my classmates at Steiner -- and they had difficulty relating to me, and my handicap. I soon found it hard to distinguish between who really liked me and who sympathized with me. I became insecure. I was unsure of every movement I made and rarely spoke out in class. I felt doomed to inadequacy. If anyone ever offers me the opportunity to relive my early teens, I will refuse immediately.

I had another problem in ninth grade: I was due to have a back operation in the summer and didn't expect to return to school until November. I told no one in school for fear of eliciting more pity. Over the summer, I decided it was time for a change. The solution to the problem of cloying solicitousness was in me, in my attitude. If I accepted my condition (and I always had before), my classmates could do no less! Phase one of the program was candor about the operation, While in the hospital, I wrote an article for the school news—magazine explaining my absence. It summarizes my hospital experience; a copy is enclosed.

Next, I had to be more active and more friendly. I joined every extracurricular group I could. Getting to know as many people as possible became my all—important goal. I enjoyed school, or rather the people in school, tremendously. My antisociality faded! Tenth grade was replete with achievements: a broader circle of friends, closer friendships, and a starring role in the class production of Kaufinan and Hart's You Can't Take It With You. I attended nearly every school dance (and even a dance at another school), went out with friends, and attended the annual farewell—seniors party. The year's achievements were epitomized by a yearbook full of flattering messages.

My growth did not stop there. I gained more confidence and established closer friendships -- with members of both sexes — in eleventh grade. This year I feel even more confident and relaxed. Social amenities now come naturally. I am glad I learned what I did about self—confidence and sociability, for I believe that to be an important key to happiness. One cannot wait for friends and blessings to come simply on their own. And I am happy too in other aspects of my life. Even the divorce of my parents has not proved entirely detrimental: it has left me free of many of the restrictions of family that plague so many of my peers.

As for senior year: despite the increased workload, I am fully enjoying this year, devoted to the idea of instilling more confidence in the freshmen than I had — without losing my senior image, of course.

The End

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