smileitspaola
Sunshine Mixed With a Little Hurricane
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Nails Update
So at the start of quarantine I invested quite a bit of money in buying a ton of nail supplies: gel polishes, nail tips, nail drills, UV nail lamp, nail glue, nail studs, nails sets, manicure set... It was a lot. But GUYS it has been worth it. I do my nails once a week. Not because the nails don’t last but because I am attempting to perfect this craft. The goal is that I won’t have to return to a nail salon, even after quarantine is over.
If you are thinking about buying all the things you need to do your nails at home - do it! It’s definitely an investment, you have to be willing to learn and eventually you won’t need the nail salon. #MissIndependent
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To-Do Lists
I love making lists and checking things off in my personal and professional life. It makes me feel organized and like a productive human being. But no matter how many boxes I check off, more things come up that need to be added to my list.
At work, that’s understandable. There are daily tasks that need to be done but then new events and things happen. You include that on your list of things to do and make sure it gets done.
But in life? There’s bills that need to be paid. Life with a toddler, (even though Julius is already 4 and not a toddler anymore but I’m in denial) they are constantly outgrowing things. Having to donate the clothes/shoes that don’t fit, buying new clothes that do. Keeping up with his reading, math and writing abilities. Playing games that will entertain and stimulate him. Cook and feed him food that is nutritious. I have to make sure I’m getting what I need: exercise, laundry, makeup, haircare - ALL THE THINGS. I’m exhausted thinking about it.
And although the to-do lists are never ending - I can’t imagine my life without all those things, especially while in quarantine!
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Mother’s Day 2020
It’s only Saturday and I have already received so much love for Mother’s Day. My love language is Words of Affirmation but who doesn’t like to get showered with gifts and kind gestures every now and then?
Being a mom is HARD. Nothing could have prepared me for this. The patience and unconditional love that goes into being a mother is something I did not know existed.
As a mom, I’ve laughed, cried, lost my cool, have had my share of disappointments and proud moments. And although this is a constant rollercoaster, which leaves me tired ALL THE TIME, I never want to get off this ride. Julius is my life, my everything. All that I do is for him.
Thank you to my amazing family who are also mothers to Julius. I could not do this on my own. I’m an emotional mess, so I’m going to stop blogging. K, bye! :)
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Life Update
We are all healthy, thank God, and that’s what matters most. I am definitely having more good days than bad, although no day is perfect.
It is still challenging working from home and having a 4 year old son, but I am making it work. Lots of bribery! You have to do what you have to do.
It does make me feel better knowing that other moms are struggling balancing the two, let’s me know I’m not alone. (*wink* definitely read my You Are Not Alone Post, if you haven’t already. It’s one of my favorite ones.)
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Lemonade
Sorry, I ain't sorry
I ain't sorry
No no, hell nah
Looking at my watch, he shoulda been home
Today I regret the night I put that ring on
He always got them fucking excuses
I pray to the Lord you reveal what his truth is
I left a note in the hallway
By the time you read it, I'll be far away
I'm far away
But I ain't fucking with nobody
Let's have a toast to the good life
Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes
Me and my baby, we gon' be alright
We gon' live a good life
Big homie better grow up
Me and my whoadies 'bout to stroll up
I see them boppers in the corner
They sneaking out the back door
He only want me when I'm not there
He better call Becky with the good hair
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2019
... was such a GOOD year! All things about it were bomb.
I traveled to Mexico, Jamaica, California and Canada. (2 of those trips being with Julius.)
Rekindled old friendships.
Lost some weight.
Partied like a rockstar lol (brunch & happy hours litty.)
New job title.
Started dating again.
Saved money.
Increased my credit score.
Went to several concerts and shows (Broadway, Disney, BAD BUNNY, JLo.)
I had the pleasure of meeting the sweetest 4-5 year olds.
My son started real school, with homework, parent conferences, performances and all.
Hair flourished in thickness and length.
Who wants to build a time machine and take me back there?
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Birthdays in Quarantine
I’m SO big into birthdays! So many things happen day to day, that another year of life is definitely something to celebrate. I was really looking forward to 2020 to celebrate my birthday being that I didn’t do so last year.
For my 2019 birthday, I didn’t celebrate it because there was just lots of things going on. I thought my divorce would become finalized then, and I was anticipating having a divorce party/getaway to celebrate. That didn’t happen.
This year, I had planned celebrating BOTH on my birthday. But... we’re in quarantine. And even though it’s scheduled until May 15th in NY, I’m expecting another extension until the end of May.
I know, I know. How selfish Paola! We are in quarantine because we need to stay safe and not spread the virus! And I get that. However I’m still allowed to have thoughts about what I had planned and can not happen because of CoVid.
I’m still determined to celebrate on my own with a seafood fest, some drinks and my little baby by my side (probably eating some mac n cheese or arepas.) Life is what you make it.
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Saturday Morning
I am waking up today in such good spirits. I feel so blessed to be healthy, to be able to make a cup of coffee and enjoy every sip, while I blog. I am excited to do my workout for today and possibly go on a neighborhood stroll (I hear it’s beautiful outside.) I am excited to jump into the new curriculum and make instructional videos for my students to watch. I just feel good.
Is it because I had an amazing dream? Maybe. Is it because I received a ton of new clothes in the mail yesterday? Possibly. Is it because my Sephora order shipped? Perhaps. Could it be that my nails are slayed after a week and a half of looking crazy? Could be.
Be grateful for the little things. We’re in this together.
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Motivation
Since the start of quarantine, I have been so focused on exercising daily at home, going out on daily walks while social distancing, eating healthy. But this week, I haven’t wanted any of that. Maybe it’s because I am on Spring Break so all I want to do is chill and not do much. Whatever it is, I need to snap out of it.
I worked out once this week. And went on maybe 3 or 4 walks? I need to do better. Even while writing this post, I’m feeling disappointed but still not enough to get a workout in today.
What do you guys do when you lose motivation or feeling EXTRA LAZY?
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Child Support
“YoUrE tRyInG tO tAkE aLl mY mOnEy. WhY aRe YoU DoInG tHiS tO mE? AlL BaBe MaMaS wAnT MoNeY. iM GoInG tO cOnTaCt mY lAwYer.”
What are your thoughts on it? I do believe that if you have a child with someone, both parties are financially responsible for the child. But people try to make child support to be this money hungry evil thing. As if putting someone on child support is to hurt that individual.
Some people don’t need to file for child support. They can actually come up with an agreement and stick to it. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.
Kind of funny how people have money to move into new places, book vacations, buy new clothes, but none of it goes towards the child’s expenses.
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Words = Actions
I have always believed that words hold weight. They really do. Whatever you tell someone, it can stay engrained in their mind. That can be a great thing or a horrible thing, depending on the words you choose.
This is why communication is something I am continuously working on. Before I say something, I TRY to think about it. Is saying this productive? If I say this, will it drive my point home? Am I being factual? Is it necessary?
The heading of this blog is words = actions because you can say the nicest things to someone, but if your actions don’t match up, the words don’t matter.
You can keep apologizing for the same thing, over and over, but if you keep doing it - does the sorry even matter?
You can tell someone you love them until you’re blue in the face, but if you’re not showing that with your actions - the actual I love you means nothing.
Over and out.
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Common Sense
... Isn’t so common. It’s so easy to get riled up and upset with someone when they’re doing things that make no sense.
I work with kids, so when kids do things, that may seem obvious to you, I have patience. I can teach them the skill they’re lacking or the proper way to behave in a situation.
When an ADULT lacks common sense, I lose it. How is it possible you’ve gotten this far in life with that child mentality? I don’t get it. Never have. Never will. Use this time in quarantine to self-reflect and grow up.
Common sense isn’t so common.
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Letting the Cat Out of the Bag
Or should I say letting the pacifier out of the bag? I’ll explain. If you’ve been reading my previous posts or personally know me, you know I’m a mom to a four year old.
Julius is the most charming, free-spirited, strong willed, intelligent, funny and charismatic kid you’ll ever meet. He has learned a handful of sight words, he can count by 10s to 100, by 1s to 16, knows how to sound out CVC words, the list goes on and on.
BUT... something I don’t like to talk about is the fact that Julius still wears a PACIFIER! I know... I know...
in my defense, I felt like he needed it all this time because it comforted him. Lots of changes were happening around him and his binky was his safety net.
Also, in the past I had tried so many things to have him get rid of it. I poked holes in the pacifier. I put hot sauce on the pacifier. I hid the pacifiers. None seemed to work.
I already mentally prepared myself I would have to pay for braces in the future. And was totally fine with that. Again, just building a narrative in my head that Julius STILL wearing a pacifier is acceptable.
In a strange turn of events, I had an epiphany today. Julius is not an infant, not a one year old. He is already four years old. He is not even considered a toddler anymore. So I gathered all the pacifiers in the house and to the trash they went. I told Julius what I was doing. He watched me do it. He was confused, upset and in disbelief.
Today will be the first night he won’t be sleeping with a pacifier and I’m low key worried. But they’re gone now, so there’s no turning back.
Wish me luck.
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Listen to your Gut
I am such a logical person. I like to think things through before acting upon anything, as I’ve stated before. I weigh out pros/cons and go with what makes most sense to me. However, there have been other times that even though something didn’t make sense, my heart would trick me into acting irrationally. How naive, honey!
In either situation, my gut has spoken but I chose not to listen. I could have avoided SO MANY situations, in my adult life, if I would’ve just listened. Don’t ignore that inner voice. It’s there for a reason.
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Thoughts 💭
Hearing Cuomo announce that life won’t return to normal for another 12-18 months really left me shook. What else did I expect? Of course things won’t return to normalcy until there’s a vaccine for CoVid-19. But... It got me thinking about MY life. What matters and what never did.
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My friends told me their stimulus check was deposited into their account, this morning. I was so excited, checked my bank account and nothing was there. Trump, what’s good?
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