segadores-y-soldados - Tumblr blog

segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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Reminder that you can find me on twitter and pillowfort

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I’ve been thinking for awhile if I should write this. Mainly since the big announcement by the Tumblr staff two weeks ago, but really in the last two days I’ve decided it would probably be pretty cathartic to put it into words.

That’s just how I’ve always been, after all.

Words are...my “thing,” I guess. I’ve always been good at writing, at least since middle school. I went to a high school program with a strong emphasis on developing literary analysis and historical/social sciences awareness, critique, critical thinking, whatever you want to call it. I ended up falling in love with the varied and critical nature of Anthropology and Archaeology, and was fortunate enough to attend a university which emphasized the need to renew awareness, self-criticism, and respect for cultures and descendant communities.

I was introduced to tumblr while in college via a friend. In fact, I’ve been on both tumblr and reddit for about the same amount of time (roughly 6 years). Both websites have done a lot for me personally: they were places for me to broaden my experiences, read and see small snippets of other people’s lives, their worlds, their experiences, engage in critical media discussions, share in fandom enthusiasm. Both tumblr and reddit helped me grapple with the near-decade of gender dysphoria I had been repressing, and through the encouragement of IRL and long-distance friends, I explored other ways of interpreting myself, and of seeing the world.

It was freeing.

At the same time, my IRL personal life was going through ups and downs. It was a rougher road but internally, I finally felt stable. I knew who I was, what journeys I was prepared to make in life. Work experiences have fluctuated, but I was content to enjoy my interests and share them with other people who like them here and on other websites.

2016 was a big year for me, for many reasons, but two stand out.

The first: I finally got a solid opportunity to do public archaeology.

The second?

I made this blog.

(Long, personal post under the cut.)

...The same friend who got me into tumblr to begin with also introduced me to Overwatch. At first, it was just through fanart and fanfiction, but the more I read and saw, the more I was enchanted. I spent maybe two months reading fan canons and ideas before I dove straight into The Lore™.

I was gone.

By October 2016 - when the first Junkenstein’s Revenge - I knew I needed to make this blog, haha. I was spamming my main account with images of Reaper and Soldier: 76, Pumpkin and Immortal, images of the Strike Team, Hanzo and McCree. I was reading Sombra ARG posts on reddit. Another friend - who had played the game since beta - was talking up how good the game was, how there was going to be a free weekend in November.

And most of all -

I had started to outgrow reading fanfiction.

And I had started writing.

...I’ve mentioned this in a few places, but prior to the end of 2016, I hadn’t written a creative, non-essay piece in...six years before that, 2010. I had a frustrating experience with a formal creative writing class in which the teacher was a grad student who graded on a strict curve and literally said (to a class of about 20 freshman) “Only one of you will get an A and two of you will get A-’s. I grade on a curve. I don’t believe in grade inflation.”

I got like a B- in that class, and to my straight-A self-discipline, it hurt a lot, especially in a class that was supposed to be about self-growth and creativity. In retrospect, I wish I had gone to speak to another member of the literature department about her behavior, but it’s hard to question that when you’re 18 and more willing to self-doubt than self-respect.

By 2016, I was better at the latter.

And I wanted to write.

Overwatch gave me something I...honestly thought I’d never find again: the courage to write stories. The urge to write stories. The sheer joy in writing stories. I was in a better spot emotionally, and I was deeply, deeply in love with the world Overwatch was building - is building. It is bright, vibrant, engaging, full of amazing characters with rich connections and long histories. It has maps scattered across the globe - heavily stylized and idealized, yes, but beautiful, so visually stunning. When I finally upgraded my PC this year (2018), I spent literally hours just wandering through the maps again, screaming with joy to my partner about how beautiful they all looked all over again.

And that’s another thing.

Through my Overwatch fiction, I met my partner.

And I got something else I hadn’t dared to believe I could ever find or experience.

I made friends, I shared stories, I exchanged ideas, I had more fun playing a video game than I had in a long while.

I fell in love with a star.

And I wrote.

I wrote a lot.

At the time of this post, “24x76: Force Multiplication” is number 4 for highest Word Count in AO3′s Reaper76 tag, and “Old Habits” is number 5. “Force Multiplication” is the 10th longest fic in the general Overwatch tag. I’ve been fortunate enough to participate in the beautiful Storywatch zine. I’ve written exchanges for a Secret Santa and a Reverse Big Bang.

And I’m still writing.

I have no plans to stop. Right now, things the last couple of weeks have slowed me down, but I’m expecting things (both personal and fandom) to settle down this week.

And I will continue writing.

I wrote essays. I fell deep into critical analysis and thorough discussions about Overwatch - its characters, its world, its themes, its history (real development history and fictional in-universe history).

As far as I am aware, I was the first person in the fandom to recognize what was happening in “Masquerade.”

And then was the first person to recognize what was happening in “Retribution.”

I’m proud of those moments, if it isn’t obvious. Even if they hadn’t achieved the fandom-level scale that they did, I’d still be proud of those moments. It feels good to know that I’m paying attention, that all my interest in building evidence and putting pieces together is going somewhere. I’ve been lucky enough to have had the lead writer of my favorite game answer my questions on twitter (and also banter back and forth with me, haha). I’ve been graced with a partner who loves my ideas, who loves sharing them with me, who loves playing this game and exploring its world with me. I’m thrilled to have met friends and kindred spirits here and on twitter who are excited to play this game and unravel its secrets. I hope most of you know who you are.

And even if we haven’t interacted much, believe me, I probably know you.

I know the usernames that pop up the most in my notes here, on twitter. I recognize a few people who cross-post on reddit.

And I wanted to say:

Thank you.

From the bottom of my heart.

Thank you for making these last two years so incredibly memorable. Thank you for sending me happy asks, excited ideas, fun comments. I could only ever answer a handful of them, but they all meant something to me. Thank you for sharing posts, thank you for notes in tags, thank you for liking what I have done here and on AO3.

I did all of it for myself.

But I am incredibly humbled and deeply honored that you all were a part of it.

And that you enjoyed it too.

And I rarely share these because I never know what’s appropriate or not but:

For a blog focused like 99.9% on writing and just writing and just writing about a video game with a talking gorilla, a mech-driving hamster, and a couple of old soldiers, that’s awe-inspiring.

Once again -

Thank you.

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Those are the highs.

And now for the lows.

I don’t like ending this on a...bittersweet note, but I feel like I need to.

A miserable amount of people in the Overwatch fandom - in any fandom - need to learn to be nicer.

And before people give that usual “I don’t have to be nice to people who are spouting bad, ugly headcanons”, that’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about just basic, general engagement on literally anything.

If there’s one thing I can say based on social media experiences here, on reddit, on twitter, on AO3, even ages and ages back on forums and DA, it’s this:

I’ve often seen it said that social media is like looking at people’s “highlight reels” while experiencing your own life - ups and downs, highs and lows - in real time. In essence, you see only the good parts for other people, while getting the full brunt of “everything” in your own life. And that’s true, to an extent.

But the truth is that you can see a lot of ugliness in other people’s lives: in their behaviors, in their posts, in their comments.

In their words.

Social media is a series of connectivities: we are all nodes in a net of human interactions, both physical and virtual, but all of it real. And what people write online does have an impact.

Dealing with the majority of my followers has been fine, and the majority of my fiction readers are wonderful people whom I am deeply grateful for.

And unfortunately, the people who I wish could read this part probably won’t.

To the vast majority of the Overwatch fandom:

You are not “cool” when you write cynicism on someone’s enthusiastic post. You are not “edgy” when you whip out a snappy one-liner about someone’s favorite character. You are not “brave” when you defend poor behaviors or share angry rhetoric. And also?

You’re not “cute” when you deliberately mischaracterize fictional figures to fit your misguided notions of them.

I’m writing this because within a few hours of me posting this link, I had hundreds of notes. I had people mischaracterizing Moira - yet again - and making her the “funny, charismatic victim” of the exchange. I had people giving me their unsolicited opinion or trying to one-up me when literally all I wrote was the bloody dialogue.

Do you know what it is like to have hundreds, maybe even thousands of notes basically yelling at you?

All because you posted something short and simple?

Do you know what it is like to have people who have literally never played, read, or “experienced” Overwatch beyond reading some cutesy fancomic try to lecture you on why your essay, theory, or idea is “completely wrong”? Do you know what it is like to have a bunch of random people who haven’t opened a book since high school try to “well, actually” you on a post about literary and media criticism and analysis?

And before I get exactly those replies - yes, I am aware that several of my followers do know these experiences and honestly? I empathize. It sucks. It’s made running this blog an actual hellish experience at times. I can only begin to imagine what it must be like for big artists and writers who have tens of thousands of followers and who get tens of thousands of notes in an hour.

And part of it is this website itself.

To the average user of tumblr, this website is “like it, reblog it with funny personal tags because OP will never see the bs I’m spouting here, and forget about it”. On some occasions, it’s “let me reblog something and add a comment that I have zero basis in writing but feel entitled to shout off anyways.”

That was exactly my behavior before running this blog, and frankly -

I’m never going to do that nonsense again.

Segadores-y-Soldados has been a huge learning experience for me, and frankly, a lot of it has changed my behavior for the better. I do better at trying to be kinder to those who are kind to me, I try to leave excited personal tags or comments, or I try to engage in fun - if at times sarcastic - conversations with other fans.

But this entire website is built around the concept of viral sharing without actual concern or care for the person or people behind the sharing. If you need several extensions - like Xkit and New Xkit - just to make your site bearable, then you already have a design flaw.

The lack of a mute function on this website is painful. This website didn’t even have a blacklist feature to start with, and the current, built-in iteration sucks. Blocking doesn’t actually work because the way reblogging works means that someone you block on a blog can just “get” the post through someone else.

And worst of all, the porn bots are still here.

So, not only is engaging in larger fandoms an absolutely brutal and miserable experience here on tumblr, but now the actual staff and site itself are burning it to the ground.

Functionality has been removed in multiple places. Cross-features between the browser version and mobile are extremely limited. The NSFW flagging system is literally being laughed at by multiple other websites all over the internet. Even SFW content is being cut down on. The search function has never been good, but now it’s basically nonexistent.

This happened to me the other day and between this post about Torbjörn’s anime eyes getting flagged and people trying to one-up me over some brand new interaction because they think it’s funny -

I’m just done.

As I’ve been saying since the announcement by the tumblr staff, this website basically obliterated the one thing I still remotely liked about it - unlimited embedded images in text posts - by implementing the worst NSFW-identification system in the world.

So I’m done.

I expect that this blog will stay alive until Yahoo sells the website at a loss and tumblr gets turned over to new management who will further mince it down into being Pinterest Lite. There were and are legitimate problems with this website - real problems, not just me complaining about a video game fandom - that cause real harm to real people, but no one wants to deal with them because we’re still stuck on the idea that we must entertain spaces for harmful ideologies because they spend money.

So once again:

Thank you to the people who made being here a great experience.

Screw the staff and the harmful viral structure of this website.

Screw the nature of fandom on this website for using that harmful viral structure to twist media engagement into a parody of itself.

I expect this post to get flagged because I posted a image of Torb with a twinkle in his eye.

And that about summarizes my thoughts on my last six years on this website.

#personal #segadores-y-soldados #long post

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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AAAAAA, THANK YOU, VAL!!! This is so gorgeous!! I absolutely love how you portrayed all the different elements of the story: the five gods, the parts they sacrificed, the falling stars, even Sombra and Widowmaker’s cameos!! It’s so beautiful and really captures the feeling of the story! Thank you so, so much!!

Don’t let the Stars see how brightly the Sun shines…

I finally got to read @segadores-y-soldados’s story “The Fifth Sun” and I couldn’t rest until i did /something/ for it. You can read it here

⭐️ Commission Info ⭐️ Ko-Fi ⭐️

#reaper #gabriel reyes #jack morrison #soldier: 76 #my writing #my fics #the fifth sun

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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Reminder that you can find me on twitter and pillowfort

Yeah, honestly, screw this website.

#personal

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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Yeah, honestly, screw this website.

#personal #vent post

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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And now was acknowledged the presence of the Red Death. He had come like a thief in the night. And one by one dropped the revellers in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in the despairing posture of his fall. And the life of the ebony clock went out with that of the last of the gay. And the flames of the tripods expired. And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all.

~ Edgar Allan Poe, “The Masque of the Red Death”

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[“Death walks among you.”]

#reaper #red death reaper #gabriel reyes #overwatch masquerade

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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Verified that the interaction is active on the PTR.

Moira: Your body seems to be adapting well to the changes, Gabriel. Reaper: This is what you call “well”??

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As I said here, there are currently two Moira-Reaper interactions, this one and another one:

Moira: Your condition seems relatively stable. Reaper: No one’s accused me of that in a long time.

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With the “stable” one, Reaper is able to deflect Moira’s comments with his usual sarcasm and nonchalance, which is a persona that works particularly well with her own attitude and smugness.

However, in the “adapting well” one, Gabriel’s mask starts to fall.

Moira saying that he’s doing “well” when he very clearly isn’t and she is the one he blames for most of it gets under his skin for what might be the very first time. This is part of the on-going theory that Moira betrayed Blackwatch during Retribution, which Gabriel figures out (and later informs Jack Morrison, Ana Amari, Gérard Lacroix, and Jesse McCree), and that Gabriel is undercover in Talon as either a double-agent or to enact his own sense of revenge and “retribution” upon the organization for destroying Overwatch.

As I wrote literally just yesterday, we now have enough evidence, story, and implied connections to show that Reaper’s dialogue to Ana in “Old Soldiers” is untrustworthy. He is either brainwashed like Widowmaker, which appears highly unlikely because he later lies to Doomfist and has a tentative trust with Sombra, or - the more likely answer - Reaper straight up lies to Ana in order not to compromise his cover.

At this point, at least three other characters don’t trust Moira - Sombra, Soldier: 76, and McCree - and Soldier: 76 and McCree have interactions with her that indicate that they believe she betrayed Blackwatch during the Venice Mission. This has only gotten stronger in light of “Reunion”, where there are a multitude of hints that Jesse McCree is working with Sombra (almost certainly) and distantly Reaper, Soldier: 76, and Ana (heavily implied).

It is telling that all three characters (Soldier: 76, Jesse McCree, and Sombra) have had or currently have strong bonds, close partnerships, and intense trust with Gabriel Reyes and/or Reaper in the past or present. While Moira and Reaper certainly have a close relationship, the developers have gone out of their way to state directly that it is one that is strictly professional. This is in direct contrast with other developer statements made about Gabriel Reyes’ relationships with Jack Morrison|Soldier: 76, Jesse McCree, and Sombra.

Michael Chu has said that we are still in the “groundbreaking” phase of the story: the team is still working on setting up the world and characters in the universe of Overwatch. However, in my analysis of the October 2018 interactions, I wrote that we’re reaching the point where we can start to see the “end” of Act 1, so to speak, which is the full development of the Second Omnic Crisis and likely Reaper’s “unmasking” in Talon, where he either initiates a coup or starts killing off Talon leaders.

This interaction with Moira shows that Gabriel Reyes from “Retribution” is still under the mask.

And he is not feeling “well.”

#reaper #moira #gabriel reyes #moira o'deorain #voicelines #interactions

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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So. Winter Wonderland Blizzard World has some sort of extra lighting in the hero selection screen and it makes Every. Single. Character. look like they have animesque stars or tears in their eyes.

#winter wonderland 2018 #blizzard world #I just can't handle this #Torb looks like he's about to start sobbing #Moira looks like a magical girl

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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So no one has mentioned that the full Reaper karaoke lines go:

"What are you looking at? ...I DON'T sing. ...I will NOT."

[One second]

"...Give me a faster beat. If one person shouts out a request, KILL the music."

Which implies that puppy dog eyes work on him.

...Hmm

#reaper76 #r76 #gabriel reyes #jack morrison #reaper #soldier: 76

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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Jeff Kaplan: Hey everyone, we’ve got a special developer update today. Today I’m happy to announce that we’ve heard your requests and we’ve deleted Brigitte, Widowmaker, Genji, and Hanzo from the game. In fact, we’ve completely deleted all the characters. We’re starting over with a brand new cast of characters.

So today I’d like to introduce you to two new characters in this cast: Soldier: 24 and The Wight.

#reaper76 #reaper #soldier: 76 #gabriel reyes #jack morrison

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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"Na-nana-na, na-nana-na, whoo! Tracer's gonna save the day, this is my song, Tracer's here, YEAH!"

#tracer #lena oxton #overwatch #busan karaoke

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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He caves a second later, lol

“What are you looking at? …I DON’T sing. …I will NOT.”

#reaper #gabriel reyes #overwatch #busan karaoke

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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"...Give me a faster beat. If one person shouts out a request, KILL the music."

#Reaper #gabriel reyes #busan karaoke #overwatch

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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"What are you looking at? ...I DON'T sing. ...I will NOT."

#reaper #gabriel reyes #busan karaoke #overwatch

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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✧˚｡⋆˚~ Bubble tea and beach bonfires ~ ˚⋆｡˚✧

#junkrat #jamison fawkes #beachrat #beachrat junkrat #winter wonderland 2018 #after Moira I felt compelled to do the polar opposite

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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C1 Jack welcoming gabe back from a really long and tough mission please and thank you XD

thank you for the lovely request!

#reaper76 #r76 #jack morrison #gabriel reyes #reaper #soldier: 76 #I LOVE PHIL'S STUFF SO MUCH #TT u TT #Thank you

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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Caife Gaelach and pure class

#moira #moira o'deorain #irish coffee #winter wonderland 2018 #moira aesthetic #overwatch toast

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segadores-y-soldados · 5 years

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Going through the Madefire version of “Old Soldiers” and there are a few details added that make it clearer that Soldier: 76 deliberately put himself “into the trap” in order to get “The Shrike” to appear.

1. The camera blinks. It is the only “changing element” on this panel, making it impossible to miss.

2. It’s much more obvious that 76 looks behind him before climbing the wall. It appears that he is looking for The Shrike, as if hoping she’ll appear before he puts himself in a position of obvious danger.

(That’s the entire page, btw)

3. When he actually gets inside the compound, 76 activates Tactical Visor and actually looks around.

The target reticle doesn’t appear until Reaper does.

This makes it much clearer that Tactical Visor CAN see “behind” Soldier: 76 (even if it doesn’t work like that in-game) and that 76 knew Reaper was teleporting behind him.

Obviously, this is combined with the fact that it’s been two year since this comic came out. We have Retribution, Uprising, Legacy, Masquerade, Searching, and Reunion to show us that there’s a bunch of details in Old Soldiers that makes Soldier: 76′s actions (and Reaper’s) suspect.

Reaper’s answer to Ana’s “What happened to you, Gabriel?” is, quite bluntly, a lie. It’s true that we don’t know the full details of what happened during the Swiss Base explosion, but honestly, so much of what he says is flat out wrong that he’s either lying to her (and possibly to Hakim, who is watching/listening) or he’s basically been brainwashed on the scale of Widowmaker. The latter is unlikely as he makes deliberate choices throughout the post-Recall events that show he’s in control of his reasoning and actions (he also lies in Masquerade, which also shows he’s in control of his actions).

(PDF version because I’m too lazy to go back through the Madefire version)

Basically:

1. Unless there’s a major plot twist that hasn’t had any evidence for it so far, Jack is not responsible for Gabriel’s “post-explosion Reaper condition.” SEP, Moira, and the Swiss Base explosion have all contributed to this, so again, unless there’s a major plot twist coming, Jack appears to have played little to no role in this.

2. “They left me to become this thing.” Again, seems unlikely when Gabriel himself was the one who recruited Moira. Ana also knows what Moira was up to between Retribution and Uprising.

3. “They left you to die. They left me to suffer.” Again, Moira. Also, no one “left Ana to die”.

Ana chose to disobey direct orders.

It is likely that Gabriel knows this.

Before the fall of Overwatch, Jack and Gabriel shared a bond much, much closer than most of the cast. Jeff Kaplan has described their relationship as “these guys loved each other” and “Gabriel Reyes was Jack Morrison’s partner.” Moreover, they shared secrets with each other that none of the other characters were permitted to hear or know about:

Again, unless there is a radical turnabout in either Jack Morrison’s or Gabriel Reyes’ characters, it seems unlikely that Jack would NOT tell Gabriel the truth: Ana disobeyed orders, turned off her comms, and engaged in renegade actions. They lost track of her location. The team wasn’t able to find her, etc.

4. Gabriel’s entire motivation in life is to protect Jack.

“Will this help Overwatch keep the world safe?” is transformed in Gabriel’s thoughts into “Will this help me keep Jack safe?”

Again -

Ana knows all of this.

Ana has been their friend for twenty years, likely longer when you factor in the Omnic Crisis. She’s one of the few people Jack feels comfortable dropping SOP and calling Gabriel “Gabe” around. He does not appear to be willing to do this around Gérard Lacroix and/or Jesse McCree.

All in all, I think the Madefire version makes it much clearer that Soldier: 76′s actions are extremely suspicious in “Old Soldiers”. The long pauses on the camera, his lookaround, Tactical Visor, etc make it pretty transparent that he’s doing all these things deliberately.

#soldier: 76 #jack morrison #reaper #gabriel reyes #my essays #my writing

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