I still don't know what "cis" is and every time I see it mentioned I imagine someone with some highly deadly nose cancer.

breaking news: white cis boy drinks a can of monster energy drink, more at 11

I relate most to it because in high school I couldnt find pants that fit right so I some times would just store stuff in the front of my pants, like my sandwich. I was a walking marsupial. That and I tend to hiss loudly if someone shines a bright ass light in my eyes. 

reasons I can relate to a possum:

-tired & unkempt, smells weird -emotions ranging from “displeased” to “existential scream” -no work ethic -lies around looking dead when overwhelmed -will eat trash & live amongst trash if left to own devices -sometimes you feel bad and feed it a sandwich

In Arizona its illegal to have more than three dildos in a home- but with that kind of free shipping and prices I am willing to break the law.

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finished it!

Oh where- is my hair brush-

Wake up late because not used to new phone settings for alarm and cant find my hairbrush

Hmmm, I have 10 mins to get my toddler and me ready and she probably hid it and my hair needs jesus

Search house and find this on wall, its got teeth, its sorta comb like

and realizing not to use the serrated teeth was a quick lesson

but otherwise was ok if not like having an over enthusiastic hair dresser

but it worked out

and 10/10 still felt like a bag of smashed ass but if i ever get island stranded i can be tangle free

http://imgur.com/gallery/ofHt4

Its cute because they are small. This is my gif set. We have to work with them to tame them down and you'd be a fool to think wild retics arnt as bitey. They are worked with a little bit each day. They are progressively getting better and starting to understand that humans arnt going to kill them. Its easier to hand tame a retic thats a baby than one that could potentially do you harm to the point of an ER visit or worse. I can promise you if you go into the wild and attempt to handle a wild retic a nip isnt all you will get. That being said they also arnt man eaters but do like to be left alone. In short wild retics are the same as captives as babies, all snakes are defensive and have different temperaments- work with them while young and you prevent having an aggressive adult.

I work at a reptile shop and get to handle these adorable jerks

I BITE YOUR FACE OK I BITE YOUR HAND I BITE IT AGAIN FOR GOOD MEASURE Eventually we will tame them down so they aren’t so nippy but by god are they adorable when they think they can kill you.

I BITE YOUR FACE OK I BITE YOUR HAND I BITE YOUR HAND AGAIN FOR GOOD MEASURE I love working with these adorable jerks. Eventually they will hand tame down and make an awesome pet- in the mean time I am snake fodder.

Never can go to the bathroom in oeace. I let him have a soak in the tub and 4 mins later this happened, FML

this gecko JUST hatched

yup, pokemon.

brain garbage, have a cute prawn

drama lizard

NSA workers are tired of your porn stashes that are terribly mislabeled.