Hosted by du0tine: 21 WAYS TO KILL YOUR LOVER!

↳ pairing: jungwoo x reader (Release: 02/14)

⤍ 18+ warnings/tw: major character death, mentions of blood, usage of knives, stalking, curse words, vomiting, extremely explicit sexual context, and choking; disclaimer: this is not a romance. for more disclaimers and info look under the collab guidelines.

Teaser ⤍

Jungwoo.

When was the first time you came to terms with his existence? You can’t put your finger on what it was like before Jungwoo. How did you sleep? How did you eat? How did you go about your daily life without having him in your company?

He seemed to be the only person that ever cared for you. That will ever care for you truly. He’s always there for you, even without asking or without speaking a word he knows exactly what you’re thinking. “You’ve read my mind once again.” You would tell him in bed late at night when he holds you. He was perfect. “I’m the only one who knows you inside and out.” He would give a chuckle back to you, full of confidence. You loved his confidence. He acted like he knew everything. Maybe he did know everything. He is the best boyfriend ever.

What was it like to be alone? In your life there was only one person left for you. What was the matter with you? See! Jungwoo is the only one who really accepted you. You can’t imagine a life without him anymore. A life without him is no life at all. With him you are living your best life. Jungwoo is your best life.

He was there. Forever. Always. He breathed down your neck, watching you close. Whether or not you wanted him to be next to you at that moment. Whether or not you wanted space or privacy. He was always there. But there's no problem with that. No. No, you didn’t mind. You didn’t mind at all, no. He was just being a clingy boyfriend. A lot of people have clingy boyfriends. Yeah, it was for the best he was there. Always there.

Jungwoo was the best, and he didn't give you an opportunity to doubt it until the end.

an i love you so much 🥺 i miss you 💓💗💕💘💓💕💘💗💓💓💗💘

jo*breathes heavily and stares* 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️ i TOO love you so much and miss you 🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🫀🫀🫀🫀🫀🫀🫀🫀🫀🫀🫀🫀🫀🫀🫀🫀

omg its been so long,, i've honestly missed you so much. i hope things are going well, or atleast better because thats still improvement !! pls take care of yourself :(( drink, eat and stay happy lov ! we all care for you so much so do what you feel seems right, if quiting tumblr is what you feel seems right then by all means do so :( its ur acc, ur life !! possible is there anyway others can still keel it touch w/ u? if not thats totally okay and i'll say my farewells n goodbyes <3 - n

it has been long hasn't it :(( ik you are anon right now but n i've missed you a lot too. i miss a lot of things in general hahaha :(( i hope you are doing the same and keeping yourself occupied with things that make you happy and healthy !! yes there is!! you can contact me via discord or kakaotalk (discord preferably) (just ask me privately hehe) it would be too sad to say goodbye forever <3

hii your valentines day text thing w jaehyun was sooo cute

ahhhhhh im glad u found it cute :)))

(I'm sorry I saw your update after sending my first ask, so please know that I don't intend to pressure you in anyway, and don't feel like you might need to answer those asks they're for you not for me ! And, well, I wish you even better than a good day. I've been in that place too. Hopefully it will get better. I send you my love)

ahhh my last update was a bit ahhh but really no problem! it was a very kind ask! thank you so much <3 sending my love back

♥💙💚💚💜💜♥

good evening !! I just read your two mark pieces and I love how you characterize him ??? And how both involve earbuds 😍 I think they're both very romantic, with a love that is deeply felt and carried but they remain light to read and you can feel a sort of free spirit from mark and the mc but also an acknowledgement of their commitment in both ?? I don't know maybe I'm going too far but all in all a very pleasant read ! Thank you for sharing it ✨♥💜 I wish you a good day ! (or night) take care 💚

nonono you're not going too far at all! wow that really means a lot how much you've enjoyed it and have analyzed their characters! thank you and take care <3

I miss you a lot and hope you're okay :( you're always in my thoughts and you're always my number one thot too. stay safe baby ily <3

hehehehe <3

(ur desktop theme is so cute pls) omg idk why i didn't check out ur account before even tho u've interacted w me (this is mjlkau's main hihi) i hope u are doing well : D i am now happy we're moots! <3

:)) thank youu <3

As someone who’s attempted to take their life before you can’t really say that you’re being frank and mention that you tried to die. I think that despite what you’ve been through you should be mindful with how you word your sentences.

Thank you for holding me accountable and I 100% agree with you. I should have been more mindful with my words and I will take it into consideration for further posts and happenings. Hope you are doing well whomever you may be.

also i don't gotta answer that that ask was just for you to read whenever you're ready, i need to go fly off and water some sunflowers now anyway so don't worry abt me :)) - fairy anon

thank you fairy anon for always being so kind to me even though i really don't think i deserve it haha! i really hope you're taking care of yourself and i hope we could still keep in touch somehow! you always use the right words my love

are you thinking about quitting tumblr? you’re never here anymore :(

:( yeah i've been thinking about it for awhile but i just decided i won't be as active anymore. (more details in my pinned!)

I'm not as good with words as you are. I wish i could describe how amazing your writings are. They're so cute and captivating and oh my. I hope that you're doing well! Keep uo the good work :) ♡

your words are very sweet thank you! i hope you are doing well as well!

update :0 ???

Hey! Hey! Hey!

It’s been awhile, hope this finds you at your maximum swag. This is going to be quite a long post talking about a lot of things so skip to the tldr or the italics if you’re just casually scrolling!

tw: self harm

Firstly, I apologize for my last update’s usage of words and for not putting a trigger warning prior to being told to do so. I take full accountability for being reckless and mentioning self harm so casually like it is nothing. It is very much something and a serious topic that I should not have brought up in general for this blog. I will now be having more boundaries between this blog and my personal life. I will no longer be mentioning what I am going through publicly after this post other than “for personal reasons” when time comes around. Thank you to those of you who messaged me calling me out for it, I appreciate it and will now remember how powerful words can be and how they can influence anyone’s actions offline and on. I also apologize for leaving without a word again. I cannot promise anything, is what I have come to conclude. I have not opened tumblr in about three months, so I have not checked direct messages on this website. To all my moots I have not said hello or checked up on in awhile, I hope you are all well and if you want to stay in contact let’s exchange discords or kkt!

Secondly, what will happen to this blog? I honestly have no idea. Although I said I was not quitting in my last update, I haven’t been in the best headspace to write for a long time. In fact I have no idea what’s happening in the kpop or nct community or with nct in general. I’ve been taking a long time to figure out what’s wrong and why I feel the way I do. What makes me happy? How can I fix my relationships? What are my priorities? Those types of questions have been filling my head and I have yet to come to a conclusion. I have slowly become more reclusive and avoidant of everything and by making this post, I feel like I’m at least taking a step forward and confronting this hobby and community I have seem to lost touch with. Again, I have no idea what’s going on with NCT and with kpop in general, all I’ve been doing is eat, sleep, and work on assignments.(But then again isn’t that everyone? We are all trying to survive.) 

However I can do one thing: that I will finish any collabs I have signed up for and the ring ring rejection series. That’s the least I can do. I will also be responding to direct messages and asks. I will try my best to get back in the groove since I have finished my first semester of college and have a couple of days to myself. 

On another note, I will no longer be taking part in tag games. Thank you if you have ever tagged me in a game, a fic rec, a follow forever, and all that good stuff. I very much appreciate it and it  made my day every single time but I would just feel terrible for not being able to give you the same energy back since I am not going to be very active on tumblr anymore in general. 

I may occasionally post from time to time afterwards but I think it’s best for me and for those of you still reading to not have any expectations. There are so many other great, better, and consistent writers who need the love and the reblogs. 

To all the hate sent to my inbox: I am not a pushover and I will stand up for myself when needed. That was unnecessary and you could’ve directed that anger towards something else productive. I am literally just an nctzen who just so happens to write fanfiction yo. 

What I’ve come to realize is that you never truly know what people are going through at all. What’s behind the screens or what their situation is may be something only they know and only they can figure out. Be kind to yourself and be kind to others please. (This does not mean not having boundaries. Being kind to yourself also means knowing where to draw the line.)

To all the love sent to my inbox: Thank you for having me in your thoughts. I missed you too and I am ashamed to come back this way but I think putting it off would’ve made it worse. I hope you are safe and happy or getting there. Stay healthy my loves.

tldr; I am back and will finish unfinished business but please do not have any expectations. I have not checked tumblr at all for the past few months and will probably not be that active in general. Thank you for being patient and I apologize for being so reckless in my last post. 

update (02/14) : after i finish all my collabs i'm going to be quiting tumblr

HENDERY BIRTH. w(☆o◎)w

[11:02 am]

“Show me your palms.”

Hendery had taken your extended hand out of bed and dragged you down to the floor. The sun was particularly happy today; penetrating through the pane of your window and directly onto the carpet of your bedroom. The warmth of his hand and the light causes your eyes to open fully. 

He brings a piece of paper that had been lounging around closer to you, his hand never losing its grip around yours. 

“What’s the paper for?” 

“You’ll see~” he smiles at you and reveals a pink felt tip marker under his leg, pulling the cap off with his teeth with a pop sound before writing both of your names on the paper. His face lights up, not only from the sunlight but with whatever he was excited to do. He finally places the palm of your hand on top of the paper and bends down to get closer to the ground. His soft chuckles here and there make you smile subconsciously as you watch him trace your fingers one by one. With your other hand, you hold back the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. Lifting your hand off the paper, he replaces it with his own and traces overtop of yours. 

He presents the finished product to you. “Now we’ll always be holding hands.” The gesture is small, but there’s an unexplainable comfort you wish you could hold onto forever.

“Let’s hang it on the fridge.” This time, you take his hand in yours.

FUCK YEAH BABY

★ 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒!

⤷ 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭!

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬! ⤷ 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒™ 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦. 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 ��𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐭𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲. 𝐰𝐞’𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞! 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤!

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧! 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧!  ⤷ 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤, “𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫” 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐞𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞. 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.

𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟒𝟖 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐝. ⤷ 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐝𝐨! 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬!

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:( i miss doyoung wtf