random-thoughts-10
Random thoughts
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Hey everyone, so i made an ig page where i post my writings from here and more. I think i’ll be posting there more. Especially poetry so please check it maybe follow it. ig : @night_sky_thoughts
#thoughts#words#writing#feelings#random#me#midnight thoughts#writings#life#midnight thougts#poem#poetry#love#world#heartbreak#images
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Fairytales
why?
why do this always happens to us
The pain the suffering
The never ending swirll
Unlike stories and fairytales
all they show is simple problems at first
like there’s going to be a happily ever after
but in reality
we live in a never ending circle has issues
we finish one at a time
dreaming of that fairytale
only to have another issue
waiting around the corner
we get older and we realize
fairytales are not meant for human
that’s why we imagined them
we created them
we write them
hoping they come true
hoping one day our life will become one
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“I just want to meet someone who is purely interested in me and my soul.”
—
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why do we desire the forbiden fruit
the one that hits us right deep in the root
why does our heart keep searching in mute
and settle for the one that seem so brute
im just a lonely girl in the middle of the war
not a single tear has been shed without a glore
i am fighting along just to feel those roars
the one that my heart make when you implore
#thoughts#words#writing#feelings#me#random#midnight thoughts#writings#midnight thougts#poem#poetry#life
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We meet lots of people in our life. people who stays or people who are just temperary. But every single one of them teachs us a lesson even if its small. Its just everytime we think about someone, the first thing we do is remember that experience we had with them in life. Even if its a smal thing, it did shape us into who we are today. That’s why i am always grateful for every single person i met, or will meet bad or good in the future as they hold an experience or a lesson that will shape me and make who i am
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im ungrateful, really, no kidding. i mean what could i want more. A good family who loves me, friends who cares and a home to live in. Greedy that’s what i say about myself. But home isn’t home to me. Im not attached to it nor the people in it. I prefer to go away far away from here. my biggest fear is that i’ll be stuck here forever. im counting down the days ill get out of here for good. no looking back, not a second glance, nothing. I want to go somewhere where nobody knows me, nobody will judge me or ask anything about me.
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anxiety
It’s really hard facing anxiety. It is more hard facing them alone, secretly, away from the eyes of your family, friends. I mean what can i expect from a society that does not take mental illnesses seriously. Who think going to a psychologist makes you crazy.
Anxiety was something i was not very familiar with when it started to happen with me. First it was the overthinking that kept me worrying over nothing all the time. But it was a sudden instant after we had family problems, that one day i was in my room and suddenly all the worst cases starting going on with my mind. Then i couldn’t breathe, i couldn’t think straight, everything was blurry around and all i could think that i was going to die, my hands were shaking. I was absolutely out of my mind at that moment.
The most hard thing isn’t what happens at that moment, it’s what happens after it. When you realize what happened. The mental exhaustion, i never thought it will make a person more exhausted than if they ran a marathon. Your body will shut down completely.
And with all the quarantine and too many stress due to online studying and not going out and being locked away, the anxiety is really taking a tall on me . but that’s okay because i'll get through it, just like always. Stay strong everyone
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Life
life is truly unfair
when some are born rich
and some are born poor
innocents die after few ours of their birth
sinful live their life to the fullest
but everything happens for a reason
well i used to believe that
but now i don’t
for a reason im finding it hard to believe
what could god wants from me
what could the universe wants from me
what’s my purpose
honestly im tired of trying to find it
i dont know if i want to find that purpose
i dont know if it really exists
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Quote
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
Creep - Radiohead
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love
who are we to deny love ?
who are we to reject love ?
when love decides to come towards us
all of us should open the door
right?
WRONG
just because love appeared in our life doesn’t mean we have to accept it especially if we know its going to hurt us, going to destroy us. Reject it even if its going to hurt you and them. might hurt for a while but its better than losing yourself forever. Better than breaking yourself and breaking them too. if you’re not ready to love dont do it. don’t fight a battle you know you’re going to lose. Just love yourself first.
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Touch
I crave touches
not sexual ones
just innocent ones
just a tight hug
or something like that
i need someone to just hold
to hug me tighter
to rub my hands
to tingle his body with mine
to cuddle me
to hold me
make me forget everything and everyone
all my problems
all my life
in just one single touch
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Anger
it’s funny, ironically the way i feel angry
because i express anything but anger
i deal with it in two ways
and i honestly don't know
which is the worst
either i laugh and smile uncontrollably
or i get teary and bawl my eyes out
which is worst?
people not taking your seriously
or people thinking you're petty and oversensitive
The bad thing about all of this is
that that rage and anger is still stuck inside
brewing into that soul of mine
waiting for that everlasting moment
to just let it all out
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Feelings
Happiness, lust and satisfaction are considered good emotions
but people tend to forget that
sadness, anger and disappointment
should also be considered good emotions
because that proves that you are human
a person able to feel something
not just a numb machine
just functioning to survive
waiting for it's death
counting down days, minutes, seconds
until it's eye close for the final time
locked inside a wooden box drowned in a sea of dirt long forgotten, long forgotten
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la resistencia
it is time to revolt it’s time to resist la resistencia Revolt against everything even yourself Revolt against the government
revolt against the society
revolt against every single person around you
but first you need to revolt against yourself
revolt against your thoughts
revolt against your emotions
revolt against everything you are
That's what a real revolution is
That's what a real revolution should be like
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Reader, Dreamer
I’m a reader i read whatever i read everything and anything being a reader equal being a dreamer That’s why i am a dreamer A daydreamer to be specific Imagine, imagine, imagine live different lives in one single day each one have different characters each one have different scenarios a way to feel special a way to feel happy to calm down anxiety to help forget everything to escape reality
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HIM
He left
Not because of him
Not because of me
Because life didn't want us together
I loved him
And he did too
But boy how could I been wrong
When he told me:
"I will stand next to you
Against the whole word"
And it did hurt
For someone to go from being everything in ur life to nothing
Nothing at all
And damn it hurts so much
Our love was a secret
A secret so dangerous
But it was so innocent to be one
He changed me for the best
He made me love him
Care for him
Like I never loved before
Like I never cared before
My friends warned me about him
But I didn't, I couldn't listen
I didn't want to listen
But now I discovered everything
Everything
And they were right all along
And I wished I listened from the start.
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Pain
i'm sad, im angry, i'm not happy
could she be dying
after all this time
she cant
not now
not after everything
i can't handle it
i don't think i can handle it
my mental health is getting worse
losing many people over the years
getting heartbroken
getting betrayed
having family problems
dealing with anxiety and stress
being an angry crier
not being satisfied with anythings in my life
sacrificing my dreams for the sake of others
i think this will destroy me
for good
no love, no hug, no kiss
will fix my heart, my soul
how can someone who is supposed to be happy
turn out to be such a sad soul
such a devastated person
for a human who have a supposed happy life
feel like their life is a living hell
no smoke, no drink, no drug
will help forget, or take the pain away
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