forgot i made this kajskajs

literally what happened

original:

Bruce, walking into the room:

Bruce: *sees Tim and Jason covered in glitter and fencing with fire pokers, Steph and Cass having a tea party while taped to the ceiling and providing commentary in British accents, Duke climbing out the window, Damian roasting marshmallows in the curtains (which are now on fire), and Dick attempting to put out the curtain fire with a bucket of fruit punch*

Bruce:

Bruce: What.

Tim: I can explain.

Dick: No, he can’t.

Tim: Yes I can. The explanation is that we’re all insane.

imagine being a villain magic user and you find the last remaining member of the All Caste, the guy who's borderline immortal and carries centuries of tradition and magical practices with him, you think this is your chance, you'll fight him fair and square, depending on the outcome you'll be able to beg him to teach you the ways of All or fight till death

you approach him, ready to fight, you expect a spells, you expect flamming swords, but what he does instead is break off a steal pipe, barehanded, and beat you with it

the lego batman movie reads like it was written by jason and tim mocking bruce and dick, like you can’t tell me the batjokes isnt there to piss bruce off, courtesy of tim, or the whole scaly panties thing isn’t jason making fun of the robin uniform

NEXT TIME ON DOCTOR WHO:

Ninth Doctor: Here we are! Mediaeval England!

cut

Rose: It’s like… an egg. A big egg.

cut

Mediaeval king: My men! We ride!

cut

Ninth Doctor: There’s something wrong here. I can feel it.

cut

Rose: Hello? I’m Rose. I’m not gonna hurt you. The Doctor, he’s got this… thing. This screwdriver. Maybe he can put you back together again.

cut

Unsettling seer: The fall is nigh. The eggs are in their baskets.

cut

Ninth Doctor: Oh, this is really bad.

cut

Charismatic villain: I’m sorry, Doctor, but I’m afraid it’s time… for a fall.

cut

CGI monster: (hissing) The Geltheen Host must rise again! The hatching must commence!

cut

(Shot of something emerging from an egg and shrieking)

cut

Ninth Doctor: They’re on every wall, in every square, in every town in the country! A hundred eggs, all ready to hatch!

cut

Rose: We have to do something, or they’re all gonna die!

cut

Ninth Doctor: (shouting from the distance) ROSE! DON’T TOUCH THAT EGG!

cut

Charismatic villain: When I use a word… it means exactly what I choose it to mean.

cut

Ninth Doctor: (shouting, angry) ALL THE KING’S HORSES! AND ALL THE KING’S MEN!

cut

Charismatic villain: Let the shattering of this world… commence.

cliffhanger sting

i am begging for more brotherly jason & damian pls 🥺😔🙏 (i rlly loved the first one!)

can you draw me as a cool strong alpha wolf please dami please 🙏🙏

artblock strong af btw im sorry if it's ugly😔

that chimera ain't right

Can you do talia holding damian pretty please? Your art is amazing!!!

her beloved son <3

another messy sketch cause it's the only thing i can draw rn

Combining my two biggest fixations atm <3

Stephanie: I have news!

Tim: Me too, on three?

Tim/Steph: One, two, three

Steph: I’m dating Cass!

Tim: I’m going out with Bernard!

Steph: Pain Cult guy!?

Tim: My sister!?

The batkids taking shit from each other- the intimacy of knowing where the other persons weapons/gadgets/things are

The most commonly “pickpocketed” person is bruce, and he gets so used to it/they get so good at it that sometimes he forgets to take it back or replace it. 

Batman and Red Hood are staking out a new villains headquarters and jason is bored so he reaches over to bruces side and pulls out three lollipops, working through them one at a time. Bruce doesn't even flinch, even as jason's hand digs deep into his side to reach the last one. Then later he has to calm down this little girl, reaches for the pocket, and finds he has no more lollipops to comfort this child with. So he reaches over to Nightwing, who is currently in deep discussion with a police officer, and tugs some sweets out from his shoulder pocket and hands it to the kid. Accidentally, he also takes a replacement grappling hook wire with it, since dick is a mess and has all sorts of shut crammed in every pocket thats not supposed to be there, but he just shrugs and tucks it into his own replacement wire pocket. Then dicks line breaks a few days later and he reaches for his pocket- and its empty. So he does a double backflip off the building, lands on top of a swinging red robin, snatches some replacement wire from his boot pocket, recharges his gun and is gone within a few seconds. Tim continues on like nothing has happened. When he lands on the next roof, Spoiler is waiting for him, and he gives her a quick kiss, reaching to the back of her waist band to grab a small knife and throw it at the goon coming up the stairs. A few days later steph is hanging upside down with cass and reaches for her knife, only to come up empty handed, so she just grabs the one cass has strapped to her thigh and peels her orange with that instead. Cass shrugs, drops from the ceiling on bruces shoulders, pecks his cheek and takes one of his daggers from his chest pocket. Three days later damian yeets his katana at Riddler(it misses but the villain is traumatized) but now the young robin is out of a weapon, so he ducks under cass’s legs and takes the dagger, sending it flying into a nearby goons gut. Bruce is both horrified and proud of his children and instates a weekly meeting to double check that every has all of their things. A very startling amount of gadgets and knicknacks are passed from hand to hand at these meetings, returned to their rightful owner. Bruce, naturally, has the largest pile that he has to put away. The kids all snicker into their hands as he glowers, shoving the weapons and pepper spray and gum pieces(“why did you take them if you weren't even going to chew them!!!”) back into his suit as they all finish up an hour before him and just watch. 

outlaw headcanons?

Roy made a group chat for his own surprise birthday party and left

They have a rule where if someone shows up at another person's apartment with injuries, they stitch each other up without asking any questions

Kory once drunk-texted Roy "break up with your boyfriend, I'm bored" and to her surprise, he replied, "Are Jason and I that obvious???"

Movie night consists of... Disney. Because Lian gets the final say

Kory watched Spider-Man once and starts referring to her instinct as her "starry senses"

Lian also made them make each other friendship bracelets

Jason's motorcycle is the loudest thing and he knows it. Sometimes he'll park outside one of their apartments at 2 AM and rev it up

They hiked up to the Hollywood sign to recreate "Hollyweed"

Dick once asked Kory to chaperone Jason and Roy when Jason was being secretive about his whereabouts. They were initially gonna stake out Weather Wizard's temporary hideout, but once they caught on, they detoured through a romantic date so cheesy it'd be a lactose-intolerant nightmare

They don't tell Kory when they have a cold because she'll bring a whole oil drum of soup

They started an online Furby cult that became so prolific it made it onto church warning posters

Jason sleeps with two pillows: one he stole from Roy and one he stole from Kory

The first time Jason confronted the Joker after returning to Gotham, Roy secretly followed him as backup

The three of them have their own Thanksgiving dinner, where Kory's nine stomachs become the envy of the crowd

They don't need to say "cover me" for the others to cover them

They went to a costume party as a three-part spider-horse

They help each other make excuses not to see their parents

Even after Jason came back, Roy still has a hard time driving past cemeteries

At the height of Pokémon Go, they journeyed to Bialya for a Mesprit

They keep a tally of how many times they save each other's butt. At the end of the year, the winner gets $10 from each person, but that's more than enough incentive to keep the competition going. Whoever can win a whopping 10 years in a row gets to name the other ones' kids

Jason and Roy got married so they don't have to testify against each other in court, and Kory found a loophole where Earth laws don't have any jurisdiction over her

Kory's sister tainted a lot of childhood memories, so Jason and Roy helped her create new ones, starting with smoking Smarties and snorting Pixie Stix

Jason and Kory take turns babysitting Lian

They once pooled all their bedding together to make the ultimate blanket kingdom, which prospered until Jason started a civil war

kori (bugs bunny communist meme): our boytoy malewife

part 4

I think Roy Harper is the personification of all those “my unemployed friend on a Tuesday” memes. Even if he was employed. Like you’d walk into his home and it’s just full of Contraptions. He just does Things and the purpose is unintelligible

Jason is like this too but in a less noticeable way. Roy is like “I welded a toaster oven to my assault rifle to see if it would do anything when I zapped it with a taser” and Jason is like “I read four textbooks and wrote an academic paper about the Mesopotamian grain economy”

“what did you guys do today”

“we liberated a country and then I built a motorized couch that’s technically street legal and then Jason blew up the road couch”

Bruce once said, half-jokingly, that anyone who wanted to marry any of his kids had to beat hik in single combat first. Unfortunately, joking on the Bat looks dead serious to everyone not in his circle, so now Wally is busy learning Muay Thai, Roy is brushing up on Krav Maga, and Conner has resigned himself to living in sin. Steph just figures she'd ask Cass to fight her battles for her.

Conner: I’m sorry. I love you, but we can never marry.

Tim, thinking about who he might need to politely go ask Jason to take care of:

Conner, entirely serious: I’m never going to be able to beat your dad.

Tim, hearing “beat UP” because he was thinking about Jason punching Luthor:

Tim: I feel like further explanation might be necessary here.

Wally: Okay. I think I’m ready to fight Batman.

Dick, only half paying attention: *nods* I understand completely. I have the same urge all the time.

Jason: What do you MEAN you can’t marry me because Batman will beat you?

Roy: But Bruce said-

Jason: I don’t care what Bruce said. Actually, no. I do care. How DARE he-

*cut to Jason fighting Batman*

Roy: So does this count, or…

Bruce, at six am in a bathrobe and slippers: Steph, what are you doing here?

Steph: Outsourcing.

Cass: *comes flying at Batman from two stories above*