qelizhus
chasing satisfaction
Don’t fight with monsters, for you can become one. If you look into the abyss for long enough, the abyss looks into you. (my grandmother asked me to tell you she's sorry)main @quartzified
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just-ornstein
Tumblr of Calamitous Intent
pictureday2005
kindergarten forever
tearsfill
◜ ῾ 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝐦𝐞 .
putthatfuckingfootdown
You don't know where its been!
dubtime
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this was supposed to be the quick set up to a flashback about trying to understand your friends chronic illness and pain from a time when he himself didn't yet understand it, from the pov of grief and irrational guilt, where the most important moment about that is after the events of this set up, but language wise she ended up doing the most and is now holding up the entire scene and therefore doing the most for the "trying to understand chronic illness and pain and your own guilt about it" themes. i fear the prose immediately after this is falling apart in my hands as we speak
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i hate school
i gave up on editing silicone heart 1 in the same doc, im starting over. maybe this will inspire more creativity
transcript under cut
The halls have moved, you find; corners don’t turn where they used to. The walls are now a pallish, green colour. There is far more colour in this house than where you were, previously, and it is draining on your tired eyes. You get lost twice on the way back to your bedroom, and it is perhaps not your memory that leads you there but instead the tether you have to the bane of your existence.
Inside you find yourself sitting on a chair in the middle of your bedroom; it is an old wooden thing, with a flattened cushion that no longer properly works. Sprawled across your face is the bane of your existence, in a floppy form that resembles a cuttlefish. Its tentacles drip down the sides of your face, leaving your eyes bare. You make eye contact, but there is no recognition nor life in the you that you meet.
“Won’t you come closer?” asks the bane of your existence. Its mouth is a small opening hidden underneath its tentacles, and they wriggle against your face as it speaks. A deep-seated revulsion rises to the top of your throat, hot and ashamed.
“You wouldn’t want me to,” you say, and it is only half the truth. The rest of it is as follows: it knows that you wouldn't do anything it tells you to, which makes life rather difficult, and that even if it did want you to come closer, you don’t think you could move an inch.
#decadence#silicone heart#qwrites#i forget all my tags oops#writeblr#its been like 2 years since i finished draft 1 oof
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A frozen lighthouse on Lake Michigan.
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little sketch of a new oc - longing (for a memory). they are a herald-angel. one day, when with their friends, a gateway from the earth opened up. people wanted to drag the heavens to earth and the first part of the celestial realm brought down was longing. to prevent further destruction, longing destroyed the gateway and took all memories of how to reach the heavens. since then, they've wandered the earth on their own. their attribute is the sorrow for all that's been forgotten. but how can they feel sorrow for what's forgotten if they can remember? to take the memories of heavens' openings from humans, they took it from themself as well and so they have wandered the earth on their own, with no memory of their home but a dull heartache.
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its been half a year since i edited silicone heart... im wondering whether i should just restart draft 2 on a blank doc (instead of editing the same one as draft 1... i only got to like ch2 or smth)
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Text: “I need my bones read.”
“But you’re still alive,” says the young man, doubtful.
“I was hoping you could work around that.”
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Hi I am in love with this hello- just. Yes! Yes!!! love as horror is something that can be so personal actually-
Feel free to ramble about this as much as you want anytime you want I am hooked
oleg!!!! Im so happy to have a mutual with this same type of obsession as me!!!
Ok. So like. Im actually a sucker for hananaki disease since im a big fan of flowers and flower language, also abt themes horror and/or love BUT it is also so painfully disappointing that most takes are so....alloromantic and amatonormative and arophobic, so it's been a long time since i wanted to make an aromantic perspective of the trope! I remember a post talking abt something similar, i will have to find it.
Anyways, with hananaki disease i wanted to address topic such as non romantic forms of love; how love is something inherently selfish for better or for worse; the ethical implications abt the surgery thing; unrequited love from the perspective of person who isn't in love with the another person; death in general; what is considered 'unrequited' or not; society view on the disease and its romanticism; the deathly beauty of the disease; also instead of being solely tragic it's something joyful either in a fucked up way or in a "i know my love (be it platonic romantic familial etc etc) is requited but my love for you is so big that i feel like i will bloom an entire field of flowers for you" or something nice and ok in general; also a polyam take!!!!
There so many options and opportunities and i desperately want to write about them! Again, im v sad that there is close to none takes like that....
And abt other concepts besides hananaki, like i said in the tags i want to take some sayings or romantic beliefs or general concepts to its most literal and extreme conception.
"I have butterflies in my stomach" well you have butterflies on your stomach, theyre trying to eat you inside out and your torso will be ripped apart and butterflies soaked in your blood and flesh will fly away announcing your love to the world
"They're my soulmate/my other half" well thats but as a curse. You will never be free. You will forever be imprisoned with that person, whatever it is physically or emotionally or spiritually. Your soul and self is not your own and that begs the question if your seld agency is real
"The red string of fate" you have a string of fate but instead of being tied in your pinky finger, its strangling you. Maybe it's red because it your or yours beloved's blood. The string will slowly cut and suffocate you.
"I cant help but look at their way" that but literally. If you're ever in the same room as the person you will only be able to look at them and will be unable to see anything else. (The danmei devil venerable did that and i fucking loved it)
"Love is in the air" yeah it's a deadly toxic gas that will fuck you up or straight up kill you
And also places like paris, high schools, coffee shops and other typical romantic places have a higher amount of cases like that!
There must be some more but these are the one that comes from the top of my mind.
And abt the comic thing, i had actually thought only briefly abt that and never had given a more deep thought cuz i was focusing more on my other wips. That will change from now on tho! I want to make a story with multiple pov or main characters, maybe an anthology? But it will have an aromantic protagonist/recurring character who resolves these brutal cases, even if in most cases theyre just a supporting character for the pov characters
#may i gently recommend ‘heartless love’ in issue 4 of a coup of owls 🥺🥺#i wrote this back in high school around a similar idea as the one of the soulmate curse thing mentioned here… being tethered etc etc…#qtalks#also i’ve heard a lot abt devil venerable in other contexts so this was interesting to read LOL
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”Oh I’m not leaving”
(siblings)
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rereading all the words i've written for fantasybane and holy shit i'm the writer ever
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9 Lines, 9 People Tag Game
Thanks to @k-v-briarwood and @the-down-upside-finch for the tags!
Context: Briar and Semira know that Achaemenes is part fey and they're trying to figure out if he's part of the disappearances happening on campus.
Now that Achaemenes knew what was going on exactly, he was a lot more comfortable in this office. “So, where’s the interrogation?” he asked, leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head. “Who’s the good cop, who’s the bad cop? Unless you just wanna drop that, cuz it won’t take that to get me to talk. I don’t give a shit now.”
“’Now’? What changed?” the dark-skinned woman—Dr. Adams?—asked.
“Oh. I wasn’t sure why I got dog person vibes from them in class,” Achaemenes began, pointing to Briar, “but now I know the vibes weren’t off. You don’t have a dog, you are one. Kinda. Part time.”
“I—wh?! You don’t—know that!” Briar sputtered.
“So,” Achaemenes continued as if he’d never heard Briar’s objection, “she’s not gonna kill me. She’s palling around with a werewolf, and technically, I’m not even fey, so if she won’t kill you, she won’t kill me. Besides, killing me in her office? On campus? That’s probably the actual worst murder plot. I figured you guys were at least going to take me out into the woods.”
“I don’t kill before I know that I’ve gotta. But how do I know you’re not lying about any of this? If you’re not full fey, you can lie more reliably,” Dr. Adams pointed out.
“Give her a gold star or whatever you do for good students,” Achaemenes told Briar, pointing at Dr. Adams. “I can. But I don’t. For one, it makes me feel like shit, lying’s like…whatever you all find stressful. I feel like you looked when I outed you as a wolf,” he said in Briar’s direction. “And, for two, I really don’t care enough to lie to you two. If you decide to try and get me in some sort of trouble for being fey, Briar -- I’m sorry, Professor Rackham-- is my collateral. That wolf pack in the woods has fucked up a lot more shit, at least in the eyes of cops and monster hunters, than fey have.”
“The werewolves aren’t why people are disappearing,” Briar pointed out, tone more hostile and accusing than Dr. Adams’. They seemed uncomfortable at people knowing about their wolfy secret, and that gave Achaemenes confidence.
“People have been disappearing for forever, but now that it’s the college kids everyone’s all up in arms. How do you think that cult commune thing started?” he asked rhetorically. But Dr. Adams and Briar just looked at each other, confused.
Now for the people to tag... let's go with @maddstermind @halleyuhm @n1ghtcrwler @acertainmoshke @lettersandinkstains @abalonetea @qelizhus @theknightswhosay and @violetcancerian - soft tags as always, and I'm so sorry if some of y'all don't know my writeblr! I just love y'all's shit.
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beta call!
hello! i'm looking for at least one more beta / critique reader for my novel SUDDENCE! this is sort of a gauge of interest.
some info:
~60k words
young adult
simple writing style (from the pov of an 11-year-old)
warnings: major character death, child endangerment (i'm not sure this is the right word, but the main child character gets in a lot of situations that are dangerous), discussions of death and grief
i'm looking for any type of feedback! whether it be continuity errors or confusing parts or out of character moments or plot holes, literally anything.
let me know either through the notes or dm!
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— dissociation
the book of disquiet by fernando pessoa // a breath of life by clarice lispector // againts the mass of the night by kaye donachie // how to dissapear completely by radiohead // normal people by sally rooney // rené magritte // virgina woolf // by me // enrico robusti
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Bones of chest, neck and head on a wooden base, with heart and blood vessels sprayed on in wax. University Museum Utrecht.
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now, Dazeah is a different woman. she wants to be selfish, to take what she wants instead of tearing herself apart and watching herself bleed for everyone else. if she’s going to fall apart, if she’s going to fucking die, she’s going to do it when she damn well pleases. and then, after she conquers death, she’s going to wake up and make this stupid, beautiful man pray to her instead.
something, something, local woman finally takes her life into her own hands as she’s dying
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Song of Songs, Sylvie Baumgartel
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week 2 of Magnet Monday! my members voted last week for this poem's topic to be "kiss" - so here we have a poem about kisses <3
If you’re interested in being able to vote on the topic of the next poem, make sure to check out my Ko-Fi!
Transcript under the cut!
[Ko-Fi] [Magnetic Poetry Series]
Poetry taglist (ask to be added/removed): @elegant-paper-collection @dove-actually @polyphonetic @the-ichor-of-ruination @qelizhus
Kiss
one kiss can be
a reunion
missing rightness
drawing a brilliant code
not even Shakespeare could pierce
but no more philosophy
I want to welcome you to
the world, the power
of belonging
life lasts as long as we love
so embrace and kiss and after...
be blind to time
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