i hope,
when everything ends
and the world goes quiet
for the last time,
i see you in my dreams,
etched in the back of my eyelids
so i never forget your face
and how it brought me
more joy
than i ever thought
i deserved
dreaming of the apocalypse (x)
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she is a quiet goddess,
her love is soft
but fierce.
she is a quiet goddess,
flowers bloom across her skin
and birds sing a little sweeter
when she is near.
she is a quiet goddess,
but look how the moon shines
for her.
caroline (x)
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i have so many words in my head
and in my heart
that i want to say
but when i open my mouth
they come out jumbled
and tangled
like a ball of string
but i hope you can feel them
in the way i look at you
and the touch of my hands
on your skin
v.e. (x)
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i have never considered myself beautiful (maybe that's fine. normal, even)
i was never destined for greatness (maybe i can learn to be okay with mediocrity)
but when you knock our shoulders together (and twist your fingers with mine)
i feel like,
like maybe i can be enough (hey, maybe i already am.)
maybe (x)
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you have a whole universe inside of you, my love;
and that means some days you will be the stars and the planets,
while on other days you will be angry storm clouds and bitter lightning.
but in the end you still have the sun, the moon and the bright blue sky inside you,
and you will be alright.
you deserve to love yourself (x)
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and i love you more than the sky loves the earth, more than the snails love the wind and more than my skin loves the kiss of a blade
i'm going to get better (x)
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you remind me that i am filled with glitter and starlight, and that the sunlight will always come out from behind the clouds.
and i am forever grateful.
part 1 of an endless list of things i need to thank you for (x)
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roses are red
foxes are clever
come stay in my bed
and touch my butt forever
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he tells her that she sparkles with starlight,
and that her smile is brighter than it has a right to be
but he doesn't know that each breath tastes like blood and vodka
and when she closes her eyes she feels the kiss of a blade against her skin.
can't you see she's at war with the darkness inside herself?
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darling, you’ve got so much love in that big heart of yours, please don’t ever forget to love yourself
things i want need you to know (x)
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it's okay to be sad sometimes
daily reminders (x)
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i. when i was six my father told me that i would amount to nothing - that i was worthless, and he told me he wish i'd never been born
ii. five years later, some kids at school chased me around with a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a match, and to this day their voice still rings in my ears like nails on a chalkboard
iii. i was sixteen when the word slut began to bounce around the bubble i had built for myself, and it was funny how i had not yet learnt to let my guard down enough to let another person close to me. did i say funny? i meant ironic
iv. eighteen saw me bruised and bleeding at the end of my rope. i was nothing more than a battered body sheltering a broken soul. you let one person in, and all your defenses come crumbling down, i guess
v. it was a long time before i could stand on my own two legs without trembling in fear, and even now taking a step forward leaves my heart racing, and my chest pounding, and my fingers reaching for some kind of panic button
vi. i'm nineteen now, and you stare at me like you can see the traces of something in me i thought i'd lost
vii. 'i'm not your savior,' you tell me gently, brushing tears off my cheeks with the pad of your thumb and it's all i can do to stare back helplessly. 'i'm here to remind you that you can be your own salvation.'
viii. i don't know if i can be, i whisper back. you smile back at me and it feels like home.
ix. 'all you have to do is believe, and right now, i've got enough faith for the both of us'
x. you twist your fingers in between mine, and the way we fit together makes my breath catch in my throat
'i believe' (x)
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because i won’t stop loving you (x)
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little one,
one day, you'll look up to the sky at your sisters,
and they won't smile back at you like they've done all these years,
and it will be devastating.
i know
but promise me you'll keep your chin up.
you have not lost yourself. the dust and grime of the world have only dulled your starlight.
do not fear.
remember to keep your chin up, my love.
the night remembers all her children,
and a star like you will return to the sky one day.
a letter to my nine year old self (x)
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your presence is like
a fire,
you suck out
all the oxygen in a room
but
i’ve never felt so warm
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