poisoned-and-toxic
Timeless
Moon dust in our lungs
Stars in our eyes
We are children of the cosmos
ruler of the skies.
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why cat praised for being fat and covered in hair but not i
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You think aliens know what capitalism is?
#therealquestions#shitpost#holy shit#i feel like shit#aliens#idemandanswers#why am i like this#why do i do this to myself#why#textpost#3am thoughts#its 3am
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Me [Talking to myself]: If you kill a killer the number of killers will stay the same.
Me [Still talking to myself]: Then kill two.
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When your girlfriend is crying from laughing too hard and you try to be romantic and wipe away the tears but end up accidentally gouging her eyes out.
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MEN ARE NOT PIG'S !!!
Pig's are gentle
Sensitive,
Intelligent
Animals.
And Very Tastieee
in
!CowboySausage!
YEEEEEEEEEeee
HAAAWWWWwww
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Me: Okay brain I'm gonna go to sleep.
Brain: Okay.
Me: So you have to be quiet
Brain: Okay.
Me:
Brain:
Me: -Half asleep-
Brain: The snack that smiles back :)
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Me: "What does shrek have to do with spongebob?"
Maxwell(girlfriend): "I know but I meant to say shampoo"
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"Why are there so many gays on T.V?"
because.. there are gays... in real life... . walking amongst us.... living... breathing.......
gaying
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Girlfriend: *In the store with me and my mom.*
Girlfriend and I at the same time: What the fuck-
Mom: Language. There are other people around.
Girlfriend: I'm sorry- whom the fuck??
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Me: So, they didn't have oreos?
Girlfriend: Nope.
Me: THAT'S GAY!!
Girlfriend: ...
Girlfriend: Toxic, we've veen together for almost two years-
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Girlfriend: I swing both ways.
Girlfriend: *Violently swinging hockey stick* Come get some motherfuckers
Me: *In the background* Babe no-
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Me: Listen babe. In this world it's yeet or be yeeted.
Girlfriend: I'm literally begging you to stop.
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me: *throws shade*
mom: pick it up now
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Can I get uhhhhh
Some sleep fucking please god
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