I am about to lose someone because I am afraid to lose them, I was told I manifested them leaving me. This person told me I should vent on Tumblr, so here I am. This person also thinks I have BPD, and suggested me to vent/read in the BPD section.

What's the point, I don't wanna live, and I'm seriously considering not continuing living. I lose friends, and I feel like nobody cares. I'm afraid of losing everyone. I'm not good enough for anyone, what if they leave me, what if I get replaced. I am terrified of abandonment, because it's happened so frequently, without me being able to do anything about it. I beg for help and for a therapist, to be diagnosed, but everything is slow. What will it take, me on the end of a rope? I'm just a sad piece of shit that doesnt deserve a family or life. My parents told me I was an accident, and my life has been an accident. I can never win, nor can I enjoy anything. I have failed in friendship, love, career and school. I have nothing left or no one else to live for. The more I write, the more I realise I should just end it all. I'm a nuisance and hurt people just by existing, my existence which should not have existed in the first place. Thanks for listening.