paulinesherrera
Pauline Herrera
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The Power of Forgiveness
More than enduring the pain that another person has caused us, the way to examine our emotional strength is to cultivate our power to forgive. While it might be the hardest —it is the right thing that we could ever do to liberate ourselves from the cage of despair brought about by something in the past that can never be changed.
Lewis Smedes once said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Forgiveness may vary on diverse circumstances and the gravity of offense, but we only have one life; will you use the rest of it in revenge or by keeping in mind these 5 guidelines for forgiving to release your soul from resentment:
1. Forgiving is for your peace and not theirs
Have you ever thought that the person you hate so much is at peace now, while you are left hating all alone? It is your loss if you remain plotting for revenge instead of using the time to be at peace and enjoy the remaining days of your life. Forgiving is a gift that you could give to yourself in order to release the rotting negativity that is left in your heart. It is a gift to start a new phase. Honestly speaking, being in a peaceful state is a better slap at the face than exerting too much effort for revenge because not only that it will show that you were too much affected, but it is an admission that that person outsmarted you.
2. Forgiveness doesn’t have a deadline
Nobody is coercing you to forgive immediately, so take all the time you need to peruse the situation. It might take days, weeks, months, and years; there might be phases of anger, of denial, and of regrets, but never close the doors of forgiveness as soon as you recover, and eventually move on.
3. Forgiving doesn’t require an apology
Do not wait for them to say sorry because what if they never do? Forgiveness is too personal that it requires no communication —they do not have to say anything, and vice versa. It is a personal choice. Your life will be so much peaceful when you start forgiving people who never apologized. As long as your heart knows that you have animosity with no one, you can freely move forward without anything holding you back.
4. Forgiveness doesn’t require reconnection
There is no need to start a new relationship or connection with that person should you choose to forgive and end it. Mental health is imperative, and you have the freedom to personalize its system. If they no longer contribute to your wellbeing, you are free to send out their clearance and kick them out.
5. Forgive yourself
In order to forgive others, you must first forgive yourself —forgive yourself from the times that you were too hard; forgive yourself from the thoughts that emotionally killed you; forgive yourself for being weak; forgive yourself from all the negative traces of the past. Forgiving yourself is giving yourself a chance to find meaning in the injustice we suffered, and eventually understand what’s in it for you. It’s time to move forward, so forgive your self.
Forgiveness is one of the few powers that is inherent in every person. It doesn’t necessitate wealth and intelligence in order to bestow it to someone. It is a power that everyone has, but not everyone have the strength of heart and courage of soul to do it.
Forgiveness is a risk with positive results; either you’re at peace, you’re both at peace, and even cause betterment to your relationship once another chance has been given.
Have you ever imagined what could happen tomorrow if you have forgiven them now? Have you ever imagined how genuine you could be happy, how your soul will be free, how bright the day you’ll see, and how light your heart could be? Have you ever imagined?
All the love, Pau.♥️
Disclaimer: attached photo not mine.
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Practical Tips on Your 20s
Being a teenager approaching 20s is quite confusing. At some point, there is a dilemma of living as if there is no tomorrow or living to secure your tomorrow. There are times when we contemplate on how we’ve changed our decision making or from certain routines that we use to do, but now don’t. Nonetheless, as a person of legal age, we cannot do away with the shadows of responsibilities.
Here are 10 concrete and practical tips to set foot on becoming an adult:
1. Declutter
It is your discretion whether to donate, dispose, or simply hide belongings that are of no importance as of the moment. As a sentimental person, you may still keep the things that hold memories and happiness. This tip also includes decluttering photos and applications on your gadgets, deleting unnecessary posts, and backing up essential files. Beginning a new phase of your life means that you have to let go of possessions that do not contribute to your well-being and growth any more. So go and sort your things up now! Start fresh and start new.
2. Compile the necessary
Now is the time to be responsible of our own legal documents and papers such as birth certificate, baptismal certificate, passport, school records, IDs, etc., and necessary contacts such as your barangay fire stations (Bureau of Fire Protection), police stations (Philippine National Police), emergency hotlines, your family doctors and lawyers, etc. so there is no need to be dependent on your parents especially in cases of emergencies. Do not wait for something bad to happen for you to realize the importance of saving the aforementioned contacts.
3. Self care
When we were younger, we used to play under the sun for hours and does not bother even if we have bruises and scars all over our body, but now that we are grown ups, we should prioritize taking care of our mental, physical, social, emotional, and spiritual health so that we’ll get the hang of that healthy routine as we go through the years. Take vitamins, wear SPF, practice proper hygiene, eat healthier, work out, do your skin care routine, meditate, and do more things that will make you happier and healthier at the same time. Now is the time to glow up!
4. Be financially literate
While most of the people at this age might not have their own source of income, but everyone can be financially literate when it comes to saving your daily allowance, monthly budget, and managing to have no debts at all. We should have this mindset that instead of indulging ourselves on shopping things that we do not really need in the long run, we should consider having our money invested, saved up in a bank, or getting a life insurance policy. Financial advisors suggest that the earlier we instill this mindset; there would be more benefits and bigger coverage for us as we get older.
5. Check your circle
Assess yourself on people you’re interacting with, may it be your family, friends, workmates, or love ones –are they contributing for your development? Do they support your goals? Do they make you happy? Are they right for you? Stop settling on temporary people, and appreciate those who are really there for you. By embarking our journey with authentic people, we can perceive the ray of diverse perspectives that will actually flourish our being. We may lose people in the process of growing, but tons of learning, strength, and maturity will embrace our core, which is the key to unlock a better version of ourselves.
6. Know the technicalities
Do you know how many square meters cover your home landscape? When was the last time that your car has been registered or insured? What are the properties of your family? How much does your family spend in a month? What are the bills that you pay in your household? What are the home remedies for heartburn? These questions might seem odd, but one way to ace adulthood is to know the technicalities of things that aren’t part of our responsibilities so that when it becomes our responsibility, we already figured it out.
7. Value time
Do meaningful things on your leisure –talk to your parents about life because as we grow old, we might forget that they are also growing older, participate in community projects, write or read something, make a home DIY, learn a new recipe, grow some plants, etc. This is also the best time to invest in your career by feeding yourself everyday with knowledge related to your program. Commit yourself to it and put a 100% hard work to reap your dreams in the future. Do not waste your time by just sitting with your phone doing nothing but scrolling. Imagine the time you’ve consumed on social media that was supposed to be spent on growth and productivity.
8. Accept constructive criticisms
These are valid and well-reasoned opinions which feed our self- awareness that what we did was wrong and that we have to make it right. Drop the ego, the tantrums, and the bratty attitude. We have to keep in mind that correcting us doesn’t mean that they hate us, it only means that they care enough to tell how we should improve ourselves so that we won’t do the same mistake all over again. Training your mind to be objective in emotion-involved situations is one of the many ways to be mentally mature.
9. Forgive and let go
While it is not easy to forget what people in the past have done to us, we have to forgive them for the sake of our inner peace. We do not need to hear them apologize for us to forgive them. If it would take forever for them to say the word “sorry”, you, as well, will wait forever to attain personal peace. Drop the pride. Move on and let go. It’s for you any way.
10. Speak up
When something’s wrong, when something’s bothering you, when something needs attention, when it is right –SPEAK UP. Your opinion matters! Activate your power! Now that we are adults, we do not need to hide beneath the skirts of our mothers when we speak of the truth, of what’s right, and what’s just. By doing this, we also have to instill sensitivity and the value of respect by speaking up in a proper platform, proper place, proper time, proper attitude, and proper reason. So with confidence, speak up.
It is definitely okay not to be in a rush for we have our own timeline in our lives. You are in control of whatever decision you make now, but you are also responsible of whatever consequences in store for those choices. What matters most is that you do not stop from growing. Slight progress is still progress, and you have to help yourself by believing that you can. By bearing these 10 tips in mind and put it into practice, you will notice the changes that you have built for yourself. Remember, this month’s choices are next month’s results. Do it now.
Keep growing!
Love, Pau. ♥️
Disclaimer: Attached photo not mine.
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How to Live the College Life
Most, if not all high school students, anticipate living the college life. At first, I thought it was about independence that I finally get to decide things on my own, but as I go through the span of time, I realized some thoughts that people have to keep in mind as they step foot on the journey of their college life:
1. Enroll to your dream program
One of the main foundations of your college life is the program that you’re enrolled in. Make sure that it is the program that fits your passion and happiness, not just something that you were forced to take. Are you willing to spend 4 years of your life surviving the program that you don’t like in the first place? It would be hard to persevere, and the only tendency is that you will have the thoughts to shift your program and restart your environment all over again. So as early as enrolling for your freshman year, choose the path that your heart desires.
2. Choose your circle
In college, not everyone is your friend. Every student came from different parts of the country –with diverse beliefs, cultures, routines, and mindsets. While it is true that you should bear with everyone, keep in mind that you have to be cautious on whom you trust. Unless you found a home in a circle, never settle to a group that does not fit your morals and standards. Find a circle that lifts everyone up and supports you in every step of the way –not a random group just “to belong”. This is the phase when you will realize that it is all about the quality of friendship rather than its quantity. Nonetheless, it’s alright to be all by yourself.
3. Decide for yourself
There are cases wherein you will be the one to chose your schedule –the reason why time is certainly in the palm of your hands. Make the most out of your idle time for you have the liberty to do whatever you want. Be independent of your decisions that you do not have to rely on other’s vacancy in order to fill yours. Remember that in every choice you make, you and only you will suffer its consequence: If you choose to have a night out rather than to study for an exam, your choice. If you choose to sleep rather than to accomplish your requirement due tomorrow, again, your choice. Do not be swayed by peer pressure because the choice is yours. Be matured enough to take responsibility of yourself.
4. Learn to adjust
In college, not everyone and everything will adjust for your convenience. Learn to adjust and adapt in order to scrutinize what works despite the situation. If your home is far from school, adjust your after class activities so that you’ll still have time to rest and do your works at home. If your daily allowance needs to be compromised with a sudden school fund collection, adjust the amount of money that you spend on food and cravings. If you’re not used to studying for hours, learn to adapt the habit to survive your course. College will not adjust for you, so adjust for college.
5. Utilize resources
Your resources are your best friends. Use your books, modules, and lectures to study for a certain subject. If you have taken notes of the previous discussion, use them. Although it works sometimes, do not rely on your stock knowledge. As long as you have your resources at hand, utilize them. Go to the library and find the materials you need. Research. Review your syllabus all the time to keep track of your study plan.
6. Know who, where, and how
You are not a toddler anymore that everything and everyone spoon-feeds you. Know who to contact in case that you need something or to whom will you confer about your program matters. You should know where to go in circumstances that you need to settle something or where the most convenient terminal to go home is. One tip is to use your phone to save contacts, take down notes, search, and download helpful apps. You should know everything, every connection, that will be of help to make things more bearable, so that along the way, you’ll get the hang of the college system.
7. Join organizations
If your time permits, join clubs and organizations that best suit your interest. Take part and be active! Aside that it will serve as a training ground for your future career, it lets you meet new people that have the same interests as you do. You will learn a lot from your mentors and create that sense of awareness around you that will widen your perspective and make you even more mature. You will also instill the value of leadership by being initiative and a problem solver in the group. After all, college life isn’t just about your academic endeavors. While it shapes your career, extra curricular activities shape your personality.
8. Do requirements strategically
It’s not just all about working right, but also working smart. Design your own game plan on how to accomplish tasks and fit them in a certain period of time. While most students hustle following exactly what is expected, go beyond the box and expand your resources to work on the task more strategically. This idea does not suggest to do illegal strategies, but to do a more practical tactic.
9. Aim for a clean record
Like any other universities, there are policies that you have to abide. While college life is not simple, do not do things that will stain your record whether it is on tardiness, absences, or minor infractions. You can still have fun without breaking the rules. It is not likely that you will be perfect for 4 years, but you can always do what is right.
10. Don’t forget to have fun
It is true that college may be more complicated than your high school life because there are a lot of expectations waving around your path, but do not forget to have fun while doing these things. There is fun in adjusting, there is fun in studying, there is fun in complying, and there is fun in being independent. It’s just a matter of how you put boundaries on having fun without jeopardizing your goal in life.
There are a lot of take aways from every college student, and I must say that these are not everything that you have to keep in mind. You can also build your own reminders as you go along the way. Feed your mindset that this journey is a training ground and a step closer into setting foot on your dreams –there is no turning back. Remember that it is better to suffer for 4 years, then enjoy the rest of your life; rather than enjoy for 4 years, and suffer for the rest of your life.
Good luck on your college journey!
Xoxo, Pau. ♥️
Disclaimer: Attached photo not mine.
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How to study effectively
Every person has distinct ways on how to review for an upcoming exam, memorize for an on-deck recit, or simply study to contribute to one’s body of knowledge. Researchers from University of Zurich in Switzerland (2018) mentioned that like with fingerprints, no two people have the same brain anatomy because uniqueness is the result of a combination of genetic factors and individual life experiences.
But let me share with you 10 tips on how I study effectively:
1. Know when your brain productively works
Some people opt to work during the day, some prefers to do it during night time, and some even on midnights. Observe your brain’s schedule as to when it works productively in order to stimulate focus and determination to accomplish your tasks.
2. One step at a time
You do not have to do it all at the same time. Know which material has to be studied first, and queue the next undertaking that needs to be completed. This is one technique in order not to overwhelm your mind with all the tasks you have on your plate.
3. Consider the ambiance
Some people want to study in a serene location, some people like to review with moving objects around. Some wants to have music on, while some does not. I personally prefer to study in a clean and quiet place, but whatever our preference may be, consider the ambiance that will best radiate concentration and productivity.
4. Pomodoro Technique
This technique was invented in the early 1990s by Francesco Cirillo. It is a time management strategy wherein you will incorporate a 5-minute-rest after 25 to 30 minutes of work. The aim of this cycle is to effectively achieve a balance between quantity and quality. For every rest, you may drink a glass of water, listen to music, do stretching, or anything that you wish to do outside your workspace. In this way, you would not feel that you have been exhausted due to overworking.
5. If you can do now, don’t wait for tomorrow
Do not wait for the deadline in order to do your task. If you have the luxury of time today, and your energy allows you to do more –do it. My exceptional professor, Attorney Linsangan, once said and I quote:
“If you do not finish the reading assignment for today, it is likely that you will not be able to finish the reading assignment for tomorrow. You will be putting yourself in a similar situation to a debtor whose unpaid loan continues to earn periodic interest.”
6. Hard copy or soft copy
I personally prefer to have my lectures printed out so that I can physically mark the copies, but it doesn’t work for some people due to advanced technology; they prefer to study on their devices that makes it more convenient for them.
7. Utilize Highlighters and Demarcations
As for me, the colors of highlighters serve different purposes. Some colors are used to highlight the topic, some are used for important information, terminologies, articles to elaborate, etc. Whereas, demarcations are used to emphasize some words/ phrases or to separate one idea from another. These marking techniques are beneficial for your brain to retain what you’ve read instead of simply running through the lines.
8. Review, recite, take down notes
By review, it may mean reviewing a previous knowledge or reviewing some mistakes from your previous knowledge –in this way your brain will recognize that what you know was wrong, and that you have the chance to review it in order to correct it. By reciting, it means to articulate it out loud. It may not work for some, but it surely is a nice strategy. Lastly, take down notes –by this it means writing down how you understood what you studied, not copying verbatim from your source. This is also a great strategy for knowledge retention.
9. Expand to several references
Do not settle for a single book or module. Try comparing the concepts of one author from another to grasp new knowledge available from other references. In this way, we can see a bigger picture of that topic based from diverse perspectives.
10. Teach what you have learned
Personally, this is by far the best strategy for knowledge retention. This technique is also called “The Feynman Technique”. Either I teach other people or as if I am teaching myself about the lessons that I have absorbed. It serves a dual purpose for I did not just help other students to study, but I also helped myself to master what I have learned by repeating it over and over as if I am my own professor.
Remember that you alone can strategize how to study effectively and efficiently because you know yourself better than anyone else. As these strategies may serve as a headstart, try designing and implementing your own ways to cope up with your academic endeavors each day.
Study well! Love, Pau. ♥️
Daisclaimer: Attached photo not mine.
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How to Move on After a Breakup
One of the most traumatic experiences we could ever encounter in our lives is to terminate a relationship with the person we faithfully love. This is a phase in our lives where we question our worth by asking what we did wrong or what lacks in us that made them leave. We go through endless nights of crying and having predicaments to study, eat, talk or just simply do anything. Our heart has been shattered into pieces to the extent that we do not know where to pick ourselves anymore.
We have to understand that all good things come to an end. Who would want to end up things that made you feel alive? It is really hard, and we have different ways to cope up with our emotions after a distressing breakup, but let me tell you 10 concrete tips in moving on that worked for me which may be beneficial for you as well:
1. Closure
For the last time, say everything that you’re thankful and sorry for. Ask the right questions so that you’ll alleviate the chances of overthinking because the answers came directly from the person involved. After that conversation, however painful, leave it all there and move on to the next step. Remember, leave it all there –no more chasing.
2. Feel that you’re in pain
Listen to sad songs, watch movies that will make you cry, visit sentimental places, get drunk, cry every night, but never be too hard on yourself. Cry, but do not attempt to harm yourself. Just feel that you’re in pain because you can not escape the fact that you’re hurting. It’s okay if it scares you at this point and you feel a little hopeless because our utmost strength lies in our power to recognize our pain. Honey, you don’t have to pretend.
3. Limit yourself on things related to your ex
This is by far the most challenging tip because you have to impose a self mandate not to stalk, not to text, not to call, not to anything. It is really hard, and it may seem impossible, but you have to help yourself because I swear that it will become beneficial in the future. Once you got the hang not to do anything related to your ex, it will be easier for you to move on.
4. Keep everything out of sight that reminds you of your ex
Do not throw the letters, pictures, gifts, or anything that reminds you of your ex. Instead, put them in one place or a box, and keep it out of sight. It’s hard to delete pictures from your phone, so instead, store them in a flash drive or an online storage platform (google drive/ one drive/ private Instagram/ Facebook account), and delete them from your camera roll. You did not forget them, you simply just kept them.
5. Have a trusted person to vent out
Do not keep all your thoughts by yourself. Every time you miss your ex, thinking or crying over him/ her, have someone to lean on instead of chasing your ex again. Talk to your best friend, your closest sibling, or your parents to make your heart feel lighter. Tell them honestly how you feel, until you notice how you’ve changed from your first day of moving on.
6. Turn your anger into acceptance
Since your ex have caused you pain, it is but normal to feel mad at first, but train your heart and mind to turn your anger into acceptance that he/she has done that, and that it caused you pain. It might take a while to acquire this tip, but it will surely contribute to your peace of mind. In this way, judgments won’t bother you anymore because you will be at peace even though other people do not know your side of the story.
7. Make yourself busy doing what you love
Engage yourself into something that will keep your schedule occupied so that you’ll never have the time to overthink about your ex. Go out with your friends, do your school requirements, bond with your family. No matter what you do, make sure that even though you’re not happy yet, at least you’re being amused.
8. Try something you never did before
Every goodbye is a new opportunity to say hello to someone or something new. Since moving on is a step closer to your new chapter in life, try doing something that will make you a new and better person. If you haven’t tried cooking, try now. If you haven’t done dancing, try now. Meet new people and realize that you’re still existing. Something new that will not remind you of your ex. Something that you have developed on your own. This will give you the sense that you do not need him/her for you to be happy because you can do it by yourself.
9. Grow up and glow up
Take this break up as an opportunity to make yourself better —to be independent. While physical growth is important, so is emotional growth. Take care of yourself because no one will ever do it better but you. Do not glow up for the sake of revenge, but glow up for the sake of your own betterment. While you’re growing on the inside because of your learned experiences, glow from the outside because you have conquered your emotional battle.
10. Pray
Talk to God. Make Him your best friend. Tell Him everything. Ask for strength and guidance for each new day that you open your eyes. Trust me, this has been the most helpful tip. It works like a miracle that despite your traumatic breakup, you can still function as a human being, and it feels so fulfilling. Still pray for your ex and his endeavors. Maybe this break up is one way for God to tell you that he/ she is not the right person that He has planned for you. Trust the process, and trust His plan.
All of the aforementioned tips are ways for you to slowly heal. Take a single step each day, until you reach your goal to be okay. Healing is the only way to fill out the void in your heart so as not to pass it to someone else. You have to heal first in order to love fully again.
Upon reading these tips, I hope that I shed a light for you to keep going. This isn’t the end of your life. There is a world out there that awaits for you, but it’s in your hand to handle circumstances this time. Your feelings are valid, and it will take time for you to be alright. It’s important to learn how pick yourself up when you fall.
Trust me when I say that everything will get better because sooner or later, you’re going to let go of that feeling to unlock the next level of your life.
You may not have that love of your life anymore, but you still have YOU.
I’m here! Love, Pau. ♥️
Disclaimer: Attached photo not mine.
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How to Keep a Meaningful Relationship
There are different kinds of relationships. Oftentimes, it is associated to our family, friends, workmates, and of course, our relationship with God, but this article gives light on keeping a meaningful relationship with our other half.
This isn’t always ecstatic and thrilling —romantic relationships combat multiple struggles that either lead partners into having stronger bond or a traumatic break up. One factor that affects the aftermath is the foundation that both of you have built during the first months of your attachment. The question raises “Is your relationship meaningful or are you just keeping each other because you have been together for years?”
For most of you reading this today, before you continue, ensure that you have a mindset of settling in one relationship and not exploring for more. I understand that relationships may get toxic sometimes, but there are certain ways to fix it if you are both eager to work it out.
These 9 tips to make our romantic relationship meaningful will remind us that we should prioritize the quality of love rather than the quantity of years.
1. Respect
If it is about your partner’s dreams, parents and siblings, friend choices, life decisions, past relationships, failures, fears, time or schedule, religion and beliefs, or in any aspect, you should faithfully respect your partner because despite our individuality, having someone who supports and respects your personal space is far better than that who just wants to be part of it.
2. Compromise
In everything that you do as partners, make mutual decisions that will benefit the both of you. It’s like a win-win situation, and not just the other half will enjoy your relationship. Both of you should meet halfway. This is an effective tip to make your arguments effective for growth.
3. Comprehension
Communication is nothing without understanding. Matured relationship oftentimes lose time for each other because of certain priorities, but it takes proper comprehension and honesty about each others’ activities in order not to misinterpret their absence. If they truly love you, they will understand you, but in order to make this happen, you have to do your part to notify with all honesty while your partner has to understand.
4. Give & Take
This tip may apply in certain circumstances such as finances and time. Since relationship is a two-way connection –an exchange between two parties, the other half does not need to provide alone. If he pays for movie tickets, buy the food; if he visits you this time, visit him next time. Ask each other how their day went and listen to your partner for every success or whenever he/she needs someone to lean on. Be there for one another, not just for the other.
5. Privacy
Other people need not to know about everything that you do as a couple because nobody can’t ruin something they don’t know much about. Relationship is between two people and not the whole world. It is fine to flex your partner sometimes, but not all the time. Same is true that your other half need not to know specific things about your personal life if you don’t consent your partner to know, such as your social media and phone passwords and card pin number. Privacy is still important though partnership should be an open book because you have to spare a little information that only you, yourself, know.
6. Choose to Stay
Entering a relationship entails commitment that no matter what happens, both of you will choose each other. Even if there are millions of reasons to give up, choose that one thing that tells you to hold on. This tip has to be secured with mutual willingness –that both of you are disposed to work on your relationship because that is the very reason why some relationships end –the other half chose to give up.
7. Never let your partner sleep with a heavy heart
Relationship isn’t a competition of pride and ego. All of us make mistakes, and a person who truly loves you will have a selfless heart to forgive you. It’s better to lose the argument than to lose the person. Talk about what happened, what it made both of you feel, and how will you resolve it because love should be a save haven, not a complicated situation. It is when you should both feel that you belong to someone but still be on your own.
8. Be happy alone
If you’re both happy individually, you’ll be happier together. Do not depend your happiness on each other’s company. Instead, share that happiness together.
9. Fill both spiritual needs
Making God as the center of your relationship will really strengthen the bond between the both of you. Pray for each other every time, pray for the food that you eat on your date, go to mass and listen to worship songs, pray because God has been blessing your relationship so that no matter what happens, both of you can endure because of the love of God.
Following these 9 tips could produce a more matured and growing relationship. It may take time to practice, but by being a better partner a little more each day is a training to be great parents someday. Stay in love and have a happy & meaningful relationship!
Love, Pau! ♥️
Disclaimer: Attached photo not mine.
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How to be a Lady Boss
Concurrent societal norms and back in the traces of our history, oftentimes dictate how women should act, dress, speak, work, and involve in the midst of living in a patriarchal society. As we mature, we face a lot of occurrences where we realize that there are several things we should be in control of, and the reason for this is because we have the power. Women have the authority and liberty to decide on how we should set up our lives. Women can be independent of men and judgments of people.
Being a lady boss does not only denote to be a proprietor of a company, to marry a king, and to be a president next to Aquino and Macapagal, but it is more like a personality of being the CEO of our own lives, and drilling strength to carry on things each day.
These 10 tips on how to be a lady boss will give us the route to instill inner peace and the sense of individuality:
1. Mind your own business
You don’t have to compare your life to someone else’s life. Their concerns are none of your business, lest it contribute growth to your wellbeing. Not everyone cares, but not everyone matters. Focus on achieving your own success, and remember that you’re doing this for the betterment of yourself –not for the sake of winning a competition and to brag the prize.
2. Ditch the unnecessary
Gossips, trash talks, futile conversations, unhealthy stalking, keeping toxic people, and obliterating other’s reputation must not be on your to do list. If it isn’t worth investing time on, ditch it.
3. Move in silence
Being a lady boss doesn’t have a machine gun kind of mouth. They scrutinize the context rather than dispensing out their thoughts instantaneously. Unhealthy ranting doesn’t help. While it may be a way to vent our judgments, stooping down to someone else’s level doesn’t make you a lady boss.
Don’t waste your energy to something not worthy of your time. Instead, endow yourself in expressing constructive criticisms on highly informative matters. Take control of your mouth, ladies.
4. Get things done by yourself
Asking for help in doing something you can’t do on your own is fine, but if you can manage, try to do it alone. Make that circumstance as a training of independence, and not relying on to anyone for simple hitches.
This tip also suggests that you should concentrate on your academic and professional endeavors because by being busy in getting the hang of something that contributes to your success will make you a certified lady boss.
5. Practice to manage your finances
Spend your money on things that are necessary. A lady boss spends wisely, not expensively. By controlling your expenses, you can practice discipline. Think of spending for long-term items rather than investing on fads. You’ll never know when you’ll need it, so might as well keep it.
6. Have courage to take opportunities
You have to open your doors to something new because being stuck to where you are now, although comfortable, will not make you propagate as a human being. They say that strong people accede changes, and these changes include taking new opportunities to learn and grow.
Invest on your profile so that you’ll never worry about the contents of your curriculum vitae. Be courageous because you can!
7. Practice a decent attitude
Having a decent attitude is tantamount to being cautious in conversations, keeping heads up despite the setback, displaying appropriate manners and etiquettes, and being able to interact with different personalities.
There is no question on your practices, clothing, and belief, but make it sure that you are being appropriate in different settings. After all, in order for a lady boss to earn respect, she must learn how to respect first.
8. Build your confidence
Confidence is replicated in the way you present yourself. Do something to be comfortable in everything that you do, wear, talk, and most especially –the confidence in the way you live. Always smile and show the world that you exist, that you can manage your life, and that you have a value. This is the tip that suggests to take care of yourself, help yourself, love yourself, because nobody else will do it best, but you.
9. Never chase anyone but your dreams
If it’s not worth chasing for, never go after it. It’s alright to make a mistake in deciding sometimes, but you should get up and never let your tiara fall again. A lady boss wouldn’t want to look desperate on temporary things, but if it is about your goal in life, work hard and put a 100% effort to achieve it.
10. Don’t forget the heart
It doesn’t mean that you’re a lady boss, you wouldn’t care for or belittle other people. Being a lady boss has an inspiring heart to be kind, and have the strongest heart to forgive even when people don’t apologize. Lady bosses are life motivators, silent achievers, and gentle helpers --and those, ladies, are the things that make a woman more exceptional.
It is worth it to train your mindset as early as now in order to unnoticeably feel the changes it can do in your life. It doesn’t matter what our demarcations as a woman are, we can rule our lives because it is ours. Know your worth and never settle for less! The power lies within your hands right now. The question is –how will you use it?
Boss up! Love, Pau. ♥️
Disclaimer: Attached photo not mine.
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How to maintain positivity in life
Happiness is relative to diverse individuals as we all live and ponder differently, but amidst circumstances, we can always be positive --may it be in facing a problem, making a decision, or by just simply living our everyday lives. Optimism holds power as it keeps us intact and steadfast as we go through in life, but it takes a lot of courage and folds of experiences in order to drill this power as it is not just a hobby to do, but a lifestyle to live by.
These 10 personal guidelines on how to maintain positivity in life pretty much worked for me in my years of existence that have inspired numbers of people that I encountered:
1. Divide your priorities
This is one of the best ways to stimulate yourself as to the things that you should focus on rather than to delve with unnecessary circumstances. Priorities usually include your family, friends, education, organizations, work, spiritual matters, and especially yourself, that provides clarity of direction as to where your goal is dedicated. These priorities insinuate psychological division that what needs to be accomplished or solved with this priority does not interfere with your other priorities to avoid mental breakdown.
This is where I apply the cabinet method: cabinet has divisions or what we call as drawers. These drawers signify your priorities in life, and the clothes that belong in that specific drawer needs to be organized as to where it's suppose to be --these clothes signify our goals. In order to attain that positivity as regards our priorities, we should dedicate our goals to that certain priority just as how a clothing belongs to a particular drawer so that it's easy to pick things up in case things go wrong. One of the best examples is that if you have a problem with your friend, you should not pass the burden to your workmates so that your priorities won't get affected as a whole. Try to set your priorities, divide them, and get things done respectively.
2. Write it down
In order to keep track with all of your tasks, whether it be vital or not, you should write it down or make a to do list for it gives mental security that you will not forget those tasks even if you get distracted with certain events. For as long as those tasks are written down, you know for a fact that it should be accomplished. You are 42% more likely to reach your goals when you write them down. It is better that the list can be seen than just existing within our head. Aside from tasks, you should also write your priorities, things that you are grateful for, things that think about, or even notes during a meeting or discussion because it keeps you focused and refrains your brain to forget because seeing those thoughts written down gives you that sense of possession that those are the things that happened, are happening, or will happen in your own life.
3. Know when to speak and act
There is a time for everything --in order not to regret things that we have done, we should think of it a hundred times before we do it. Being a highly positive person creates vision in their minds about the consequences of a definite decision before they enforce it. You should contemplate if that action or words will benefit the both of you, and if it could solve a problem rather than to make it worse. Just fight for what is good and right, and you will be fine.
4. Appreciate the littlest things
Being grateful and kind to the littlest of things will make you appreciate the bigger ones later on. Positive people have the biggest heart for simple joys whether it be animate or inanimate such as finding pleasure in the laughter of a baby, on the sound of the chirping birds in the morning, the smell of new books and fresh brewed coffee, a stranger opening up a door for you, and catching up with a friend that you haven't seen for a while. It opens the window of our minds to a wider horizon of discernment and not limiting ourselves to things that we are only expecting. Additionally, how much does it cost to appreciate and say the word "thank you"? I think none.
5. Design your life
Remember that you are the CEO of your life and you have the freedom to personalize your company --choosing the people you're connecting with, cutting ties to those who do not contribute to your inner peace, setting your own timeframe as to when you're planning to achieve your goals, wearing the style of clothing that makes you comfortable regardless of what the society might say about you, pursuing the college degree of your choice, as long as it would benefit your whole well-being. Declutter negativities. Do not let other people control you. You are you, so be you.
6. Connect with real people
Regardless of age or social status try to talk to real people over coffee, dinner, or phone calls. Trust me when I say that it expands your perspective about life in general, and it makes you more matured to understand several state of affairs. It is important to surround yourself with life mentors and life partners to educate you in times that you feel astray. It also gives you that sense of validation that your thoughts and experiences are valued. It's just amusing to have someone that knows how you've been and how you're going through in life. Likewise, oblige yourself to be an inspiration to those around you; help people, give them your insights and advices because the easiest way to master something is by teaching it.
7. A clean space optimizes clean mind
Why is it more conducive to study in a coffee shop, in a library, or some place serene? It is because your brain adapts what your environment looks like and it keeps you more focused on the task at hand. This does not suggest that you should always go out to do something, but this proposes to organize your workspace in order make it a favorable space to get things done. It also limits the panic of where to find things because you know where you've placed them.
8. Give some time doing what you love
Being a positive person does not entail to have a schedule full of work --it might also be of help to allot a time to be alone and do things that satisfy you and make you happy such as going to salon, making an artwork, writing a poem, reading a book, shopping in malls, listening to music, going to the gym, or cooking a new recipe. It gives you a sense of fulfillment that you are not just surviving to live, but living a life you choose to live. Needless to say, but you should take a time out with yourself sometimes.
9. Always be prepared
It is better to be prepared than to be a nuisance when the day comes. Whether it be during a crisis, a surprise quiz, an unexpected visitor, or even a sudden invitation to a party, it is best to have something saved up. This also includes preparing ahead of time like organizing the things that you will be needing for the next day so as to learn the significance of punctuality.
10. Tell it to Him
This is by far the most efficient way to be positive in life –meditate. Listen to worship songs and pray to God about things that made you grateful, things that bother you, things that you’re praying for, and things that you’re sorry for. Believe that everything happens for a reason —and that is His reason. Tell Him everything as if He is your virtual best friend. With this, you know that He is just right there, guiding you, so that you do not have to worry for He is always with you and will succeed with you.
Keep in mind that there are several ways on how to be positive in life depending on what works for you. I know for a fact that some people may have a hard time instilling optimism based from their past, their personality, or their environment, but go ahead and attempt to train your mindset on how to be positive because as it does not transpire overnight, it will never happen lest you start. Take time and believe in yourself that you can. Make it a routine to be positive until it becomes a habit, then eventually, you might not notice that it has already become your lifestyle.
Keepsafe! Love, pau. ♥️
Disclaimer: Attached photo not mine.
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