I'm rejecting the narrative where umbrella academy takes place in one of those Out of Time worlds because like. just THINK of the online freakout that would've happened when Vanya dropped her book. that would have been the That Bitch(tm) moment of the millennium. #ReginaldHargreevesIsOverParty would have been trending world wide. the DISCOURSE over her siblings actions that would have been started....and they're always going on about how she exposed family secrets but we don't even know what the secrets were! anyway here's some shitty memes I imagine would pop up on twitter after her book came out

When you get past the shock of seeing Luther’s sheer size onscreen, the suit also contains subtle details like scar tissue, which hint at his rage and shame about his transformed body. “We figured, over time, that Luther would have tried to remove the skin, or patched it with other skin, but it didn’t work,” says Blackman. “He hates the way he looks, and he’s severely depressed about it,” Hopper adds. “In my head, there were times on the moon when Luther thought about ending it all, because he’s so torn up after the accident.”

Luther’s Ape Body & Scars (screen shots from S2) | (x) 

Luther: “Uh, can you tell us about this timeline, please?” Five: “Started making it. Had a breakdown. Bon appetit”

Checks out! Original from James Acaster’s disastrous stint on British Bake Off.

okay now that they're officially back in the Current Day or whatever the only thing I straight up demand from season 3 is a plotline where Five for some reason gets stuck with actual school kids just acting normal and this old man is Lost and Confused while mcr's 'teenagers' plays...like they can do anything else they want next season I just Need to see this specific scenario lmao

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Okay but can we please get adults who actually treat five like a teenager, and very blatantly don’t believe him when he says he’s an adult, like any even remotely sane or semi-normal person would. I just desperately want everyone in the sparrow academy to look at this exauhsted feral child and go ‘why is this baby here? Who’s baby is this??????’

Where do we currently stand on Christopher’s ability to communicate? Do you think there’s going to be a voice actor narrating thoughts Christopher is projecting? Personally I’m a fan of a scooby doo situation, like how the gang are the only people who can seemingly understand scooby, Christopher just emits low ominous vibrations and the sparrow academy is just like “Oh that’s a good idea thanks Chris” and the umbrella academy is just confused “that floating dread cube is not speaking, are you hearing things? Is your brain okay?????” And they’re all like “don’t talk about my sibling like that, wtf is wrong with you?”

The love of fives life was a dismembered lifeless mannequin. 50 bucks says his best friend will be the dread inducing cube.

Okay but can we please get adults who actually treat five like a teenager, and very blatantly don’t believe him when he says he’s an adult, like any even remotely sane or semi-normal person would. I just desperately want everyone in the sparrow academy to look at this exauhsted feral child and go ‘why is this baby here? Who’s baby is this??????’

Well actually he sort of did. Or maybe didn’t. According to Gerard way five was going to be named Adam but he hated it so much he made everybody keep calling him five. According to Netflix Grace helped the kids pick their own names out of names popular from their place of birth and five disappeared before he could decide.

I don’t know whether it fills me with laughter or pain that a cube got a name but Five didn’t

Season 3 is all fun and games until one of the Sparrows’ powers is shapeshifting and they shift to look like one of the Umbrellas and Five doesn’t know who to shoot

In the scene where he first gets home and has to change out of his too big black suit in his room we see his closet is filled with uniforms. So at least for season 1 he could be wearing different sets but as for season 2 he definitly just didn’t think about it at all.

Do you think Five wears that same uniform for two seasons straight because he’s used to wearing things until they wear out in the apocalypse? I understand the end of the worlds coming but it’s been so long it must stink!

Maybe it’s another social cue he missed in the apocalypse so it’s less instinct and he just doesn’t realise so his siblings will have to convince him to get something new.

-grandson

"You think I had it easy?"

AU where the Handler abused her briefcase when training Five, and whenever he started acting out of hand, she sent him right back to the apocalypse for a cruel 'time out', leaving him for an indiscernible amount of hours, days, or even weeks at a time... until Five honestly dreaded a day when they'd leave him there for good.

give five this backpack in season 3

For anyone curious, in the comics the commission needed to kill JFK to prevent nuclear war. They recruited the current time five (the one stuck in his younger body) because his past self (before returning home) dipped on the mission before completing it. They got current five to do it because the commission threatened to kill his mother before he was born. They got Allison to agree to help because five and Luther are actually twins so Luther would desse to exist as well (the siblings DO NOT care about each other in the comics as much as they do in the show so she only agreed cause she has feeling for luther. Or maybe because she feels guilty because in the comics the only ‘romantic thing’ they had was when she rumored Luther into kissing her). Anyway that’s how Allison gets her voice back after vanta slices her throat, the commission fixes her so she can do this.

the umbrella academy 2x01 / umbrella academy: dallas #6