martellen
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elena; 23 ☆creations☆color blog☆letterboxd☆
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Tech is not dead.
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i’m not saying i’m better than you…. but my url has no dashes and i’m a natural brunette
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honestly the worst thing about adhd for me is that a new hobby or hyperfixation is one of the greatest sources of joy, but its always haunted by the knowledge that it won’t last and i don’t get to decide or even know how long. I can’t count on being interested in anything long term.
it feels like theres a clock ticking above my head and i cant see how much longer i get to enjoy something. i can’t start big projects for fear of never finishing them. i have to hold myself back from anything that requires long-term commitments or consistency because i can’t rely on future-me to follow through.*
when i pace myself and try to casually keep up with something after the hyperfixation ends it just isn’t the same, the joy is gone. when i say fuck it and just let myself run, i end up trying to cram years of a hobby into weeks or months. i bite off way more than i can chew, burn out spectacularly, and spend the next month feeling guilty every time i look at the pile of expensive, unused materials that i sat down one day and never picked back up.
Theres a toll that years of it takes on your self-trust, it compromises your ability to make decisions without second guessing the most basic things. “What will I want?” and “what will I like?” aren’t any less opaque at six months from now than six years. I can’t count on what I want. In a way, I can’t count on myself and there’s a grief that comes along with that.
i see so much about dealing with adhd shame, but i dont think i’ve heard more than one person express the grief that comes with losing something you really love, not because it leaves you, but because your body simply decides without your permission to stop loving it.
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using your spotify top 100 playlist, shuffle 10 songs and tag 10 people.
tagged by: @laurennbacall and @beharmon thank you so much!!🖤🖤 i love your lists <3
telephone - lady gaga ft. beyonce
la belle nation - zeebee
vultures - john mayer
no - nicolas jaar
nobody - mitski
children of the grave - black sabbath
1996 - hazel
mammamia - maneskin
let me put my love into you - ac/dc
tagging: @kleindoeil @lucas-sinclairs @starsbythepocketful @lizziesbennett @hightowres @tywin (no obligation ofc <3)
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Saoirse Ronan for Vogue US (2018)
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get to know me: ten movies // little women (2019) dir. greta gerwig
“i don’t believe i will ever marry. i’m happy as i am. and i love my liberty too well to be in any hurry to give it up.”
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1899 → EYK LARSEN & MAURA FRANKLIN
— maybe this is some kind of dream.
— well, who’s dreaming it then? you or me?
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seeing everyone’s spotify stats is so much fun to me i love sounds and i love lists. and i love you
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open a new window somewhere in the world.
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People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is 'you're safe with me'- that's intimacy.
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when the loneliness of solitary adulthood in winter feels like a physical, scalding pain
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Spotify Wrapped has dropped y’all. Reblog this with how many minutes you listened this year
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SORRY but how many times have u streamed ur top song
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fuck it what's everyone's 69th song on their spotify wrapped?
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everybody reblog and tell me ur 3rd artist, 7th song, and % of listeners u were in for ur top artist GO GO GO
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and omg in love with ur theme<3<3
really??? thank you so much!!🥹🤍 are you talking about mobile or desktop?
also i love your blog♡♡
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47.57.67!!
thank you!!🤍
47. vigilante shit - taylor swift
57. sinking down - son volt
67. bloody mary - lady gaga
spotify wrapped ask game
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