lydia-too-late
A Strange Calm
she/her, governed by contradictions, mostly vampires and writing. 18+
162 posts
Last active 2 hours ago
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
iklechinesepickle
Thoughts?
cultofbarrel
Barnum's overly compensated apprentice
devilsodas
BAD TASTE CLUB
mammoneyhoney
Mammon defense squad
skittledeedoo
Skittle Deedoo
Text
Uh Oh: The Third Person Omniscient Narrator Of Your Life Just Started Repeating The Opening Paragraphs Verbatim
28K notes
·
View notes
Text
What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow
Out of this stony rubbish? Son of man,
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,
And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief,
And the dry stone no sound of water. Only
There is shadow under this red rock,
(Come in under the shadow of this red rock),
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
Frisch weht der Wind
Der Heimat zu
Mein Irisch Kind,
Wo weilest du?
‘You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;
‘They called me the hyacinth girl.’
—Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
Looking into the heart of light, the silence.
Oaed’ und leer das Meer.
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
How can I be more disciplined? I can’t seem to make myself do the things I know i need to do in order to move forward and to be better
It goes like this: Caffeine, b12, omega 3, pomodoro, modafinil, racetams, bromantane, amphetamine, methamphetamine, psilocybin, intermittent fasting, infrared sauna, ketogenic diet, cold exposure, cbd, meditation, validation-seeking, artificial deadlines, thc, habit formation, dopamine detox, manifestation, variable interval reward, looksmaxxing, betrayal, disillusionment, poetry about death, sigil magic, learning the rules, embracing the pain, absence of fear, final boss, rewriting the rules, confession, submission, sublimation
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
I have a secret for you: This does not end when you stop being a young adult.
Being a young adult is so strange. You enter a coffee shop. The 20 year old girl waiting behind you cried all night because she just came to a new city for university and she feels so alone. That 27 year old guy over there works a job he is overqualified for, he lives with his parents and wants to move out but doesn't know what to do about it. That one 24 year old dude already has a car, a house, and a job waiting for him once he graduates thanks to his dad's connections. The 26 year old barista couldn't complete his higher education because he has to work and take care of his family. The 28 year old girl sitting next to you has no friends to go out with so she is texting her mother. That couple (both 25 years old) are married and the girl is pregnant. The 29 year old writing something on her laptop has realized that she chose the wrong major so she is trying to start all over. We are not alone in this, but we are actually so alone. Do you feel me
47K notes
·
View notes
Text
It's about devotion and obsession. It's ALWAYS about devotion and obsession. And hunger. It's love with teeth.
28K notes
·
View notes
Text
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
performing an exorcism but i recite the lorem ipsum dolor sit amet placeholder text
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
Where does this come from, you think? ADHD brains being perpetually dopamine deficient, I have to wonder if this is a result of constantly needing to seek out dopamine sources (whether that's positive stuff like accomplishments and relationships and exercise, or more problematic stuff like alcohol). Is the end result of accomplishing long-term goals just another short-term "okay for the moment" feeling? Are we unable to find real, lasting satisfaction because our brains return to their dopamine-deficient states pretty quickly?
people say folks with adhd struggle with "delayed rewards" aka long term goals and as such we tend to focus more on short term rewards. what they don't talk about is that at when we Do accomplish long term goals we don't actually feel anything proportionate to the amount of work we did to achieve it. In my head I suffered for a while and then money spontaneously appeared in my bank account.
36K notes
·
View notes
Text
Who gets lost in the retelling of a story? Oliver — look at him, even now, disfigured as he is — is certainly one unaccustomed to being forgotten. But Tula stares at him blankly, unblinking. In the narrative of memory, the poor boy had been cut, deemed superfluous to her personal mythology. Nothing of that night existed outside of Silk’s gravity.
"I remember you. I mean — how could I forget, you know?"
How could you forget. He would love you, serve you, make you happy; he would proffer his veins at the alter of your beastself — and for what? Long neck, pale wrist, pretty face: boys like that always did pursue her, their curiosity piqued by her indifference. (Dangerous, she learned quickly. It was the absence that seduced them; they saw only her lack of interest when others came so easily.) But Oliver, she remembers now, promised so much so quickly, love-addled by her teeth. How could you forget him: the mangle of his face in Silk’s wake, the screams smothered by penetrative bass. And yet you did.
(from Self Control, co-written with @silkenred)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
do you ever think about how sometimes it just... takes one random message? and suddenly you find yourself with a best friend or in constant conversation with someone who lives on the other side of the world but is just as much of a freak as you are or maybe you find yourself in love with someone without a last name but with so much kindness and affection in their words and presence. crazy how life and love and friendship just happen
56K notes
·
View notes
Text
I just had to look up "girly" because I couldn't remember if it was -ie or -y (it's both), and this definition just... made me sad.
1 note
·
View note
Text
Hi there! Wanna know what kinda place you've stumbled into?
I'm a real, live human-person. She/her, early 40s, clinging to the shreds of my youth, doing well thanks, how are you?
I'm here for the writing and the vampires, mostly, but straying wildly off-topic is part of the fun. I'm fairly new to Vampire: the Masquerade and modern-day Tumblr, but for what I lack in experience, I make up in good intentions. (Building that road, brick by brick...)
In a past life, I was a literature teacher and photographer. Fascinated by most any art, creativity, expression. I'm late-diagnosed combined-type ADHD, very into exercise, and currently studying UX Design.
I often post my writing, much of it about an OC VtM character named Tula Redgrave, a Lasombra neonate and reluctant diablerista. You may find her here.
Otherwise, my tags are pretty much a shitshow. Good luck to both of us trying to find things.
1 note
·
View note
Text
what’s your ‘thing’ as a friend. i don’t mean like ‘oh im the mom friend’ i mean like what’s the Thing where if one of your friends was looking for a specific interaction they’d message you first. personally i can always be relied upon to get hyped about bugs, literature, and cursed internet images.
#snake identification#who/whom#will discuss succession or below deck as long as you want#borrowing pens#hyper/girlie electronic music is that even a thing#cardio for dopamine
68K notes
·
View notes