Alice’s most recent drawing of Sprolden has been stuck in my mind so I had to recreate the scene based on how I always pictured it in my head

"If you can't accept things you don't understand, then you'll spend your life questioning everything. Then you'll have to live our your life in your own head." "Is that a bad thing?" I ask. "Victoria, that is how you end up in a place like this." - Solitaire, Alice Oseman (2014)

i love you charlie spring

I was inspired by ‘Solitaire' by Alice Oseman and decided to attempt to draw a book cover. (This is the biggest project I’ve ever done, it took approximately 26 and 1/2 hours)

i love you sprolden ❤️❤️❤️

Two years of Heartstopper series!!!

Two years since my life was changed

WE LOVE YOU @chronicintrovert @aliceoseman !!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Getting my Radio Silence tattoo tomorrow!!!

Fix you is actually by Coldplay 😭 I don't know why I wrote U2

To any suicidal followers I may have: This is a sign to not kill yourself. You are loved and the world is special because you are in it. Keep holding on.

-PLEASE REBLOG THIS YOU MAYBE ARE SAVING SOMEONES LIFE

You are special and amazing , If you need to talk or some help send me a dm and I will talk to you.

Every random photo I find on Pinterest makes me think of them, I fear

More of my thoughts during my Solitaire re-read:

(trigger warning: discussions of mental health in one specific section. Everything else is pretty lighthearted but Ill put a heads up in front of the one possibly triggering paragraph 👍)

(General Warnings: I have opinions. These are getting more and more deranged. I’m becoming an unreliable narrator. This is going to be very biased. I’m going to infodump. Don’t read this)

Tori is autistic. MICHAEL IS AUTISTIC. Charlie. Their mom. Lucas (controversial). Becky (even more controversial). Probably more (Definitely more). Someone handed teenage Alice Oseman a copy of the DSM and told them to write a book about it. You’re not allowed to debate this. I’m sorry (I’m not).

Morally I dislike Lucas as a character but he’s just so… he’s like those sopping wet kittens that you’ve picked up by the collar after drinking out of a bowl of milk. Your mad at at him, but you just have to laugh. For an “antagonist,” I love him. Horribly awkward and pathetic teenage boy who accidentally causes the school to burn down because he wants to impress some girl he fancies. “He turns red, as he does.” I NEED more antagonist like him. Aren’t we all on some level horribly awkward and pathetic teenage boys (gender neutral) who recklessly cause property damage via arson?

(**This next paragraph has the heavier discussions of mental health/sh/suicidal ideation**)

Tori’s father should be just as much to blame as her mother for ignoring her and Charlie’s mental health. They’re both very passive people, and while Jane seems to actively avoid emotional vulnerability due to her past relationship with her mother (which in the Heartstopper comics is shown to have been abusive), Julio expresses similar sentiment but from a “toxic positivity” viewpoint. I get why some parents feel the need to do this. (Some) Parents to want their child to be happy all the time, they worry about their child experiencing any negative emotions, so they push them away. But as we’ve seen in both Heartstopper and Solitaire, it often has the opposite effect with many consequences. According to what we’ve read in these books, and speaking from experience, the child represses these negative feelings, which causes them to build up till it reaches a breaking point. Both Tori and Charlie have contemplated suicide. Tori’s depression gets so bad that people start to assume it’s just part of her personality. Charlie turned to self-harm when he was being bullied rather than telling someone. And while it was happening, neither of their parents had any idea. The one time someone with a healthy parental relationship (Nick) becomes close to them, he senses almost immediately that their (Charlie Specifically) struggling.

(**Okay yippee back to the fun stuff 😁**)

Tori and Michaels friendship is arguably more important than their romantic relationship in this book. Don’t get me wrong, I love the sort-of romance between them, but the emphasis on friendship calls to me so specifically. I remember when I was younger watching a tv show where the husband said something about how he and he wife loved each other, but he’s not her best friend. And as a matter of fact, they’re not friends at all (?). This sentiment irks me so much in real life. Why devote your entire life to someone who you’re not even friends with? When you share interests, have deep conversations, and just generally hangout enjoying each others presence how is that not classified as being friendship? Breaking news: The “I hate my wife” media trope was found dead in his apartment. Alice was the one who pulled the trigger.

This book has finally given me the motivation to read Osamu Dazai’s “No Longer Human.” I see similarities in the two books, oddly enough, and I feel like Tori would like it and relate to some parts(even though she hates reading). I also wanted to get Convenience Store Woman but my local bookstore didn’t have it in stock. Sigh, we move on…

I didn’t even see ‘The Yellow Wallpaper’ reference the first two times I read through the book. It’s genuinely such good foreshadowing as it comes right before Becky’s party/ the point at which she starts spiralling. (To those who haven’t read the yellow wallpaper, please read it it’s such a good short story, and was revolutionary at the time for women’s mental health) (you probably already knew that, sorry) (I’m infodumping)

I’ve been debating in my mind for a while on whether or not Michael could be classified as ace spec based on the fact he seems to describe attraction very similar to Tori (mostly aesthetic/intellectual attraction), like everyone’s attractive to him, but he doesn’t have that pull towards them, just the appreciation of their beauty. Then again, it could just be how Alice writes, since she wrote this at 17 before even finding out what was pansexuality was. Either way, I believe how he experiences that type of attraction aligns well with Tori being sex-averse ace, which is why their relationship works. And even if he wasn’t ace spec I think that’d be cool as well because it’s good to see representation of relationships between ace and non ace people. Especially because some people seem to think being asexual means that the person wouldn’t like any physical contact(??) or even that they can’t feel love (???) (absolutely insane sentiment tbh).

- in conclusion: idk he probably wouldn’t even care to label himself this way, or think much about it at all

Not a ‘thought’ but mother dearest said she’d read Solitaire after me and I had to physically restrain myself from spoiling the whole book then and there. The urge to infodump is strong but we must soldier on 🫡

Do you plan on getting any more tattoos any time soon?

I'm getting a new tattoo next week!!!! It is Radio Silence related... I'm SO excited.

happy international asexuality day to my best friends. <3

Reblog if it's okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.

please, please and please.

I need Alice Oseman to understand how much her books and the fandom surrounding them have helped me.

Have I posted this? Probably not, anyway her eyes are not it