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louise-spn · 7 years

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great thanks

#spn #supernatural #dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #castiel

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louise-spn · 7 years

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Recovery

A/N: Hey guys, its been a long time since I've wrote a fic. The last fic was about a character who was incredibly depressed and suicidal as that is how I felt. And I'm not better but hell I'm trying so hard to accept that not everything goes the way you think it will. So I hope this little fic between the boys and Y/N can help at least someone get a new perspective of their hard situation.

Warnings; Angst, Self Hate, Mental Illness, Fluff

Dean x Reader x Sam

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You know that feeling, the warm thickness of a sob rising in your throat, the tensing of your clammy fists. That stomach turning awareness of tears bubbling up from behind your closed eyes as your decaying barricades collapse. The distinct clenching of your chest and the churning of your empty stomach.

Yeah, that feeling. The feeling of breaking down.

The motel room is silent, located in a dusty run down town that anyone not living here would know existed. There wasn't even a whisper from the boys sleeping not even 3 feet away. They insisted on giving you a bed to yourself tonight, and were now crammed onto one of the smallest double beds you'd ever seen in your life. When you urge them to sleep in separate beds before they kill each other, all you received back was a groan and then;

"No Y/N, not happening princess. You deserve a good sleep without me rolling over you or Gigantor kicking you off the bed with his abnormally large moose legs."

Followed by a short and curt "Ow!" as Sam smacked the back of Deans' head.

The silence is deafening and you wish you could hear something to distract you. You yearn to hear a car engine roar, a creak of an old floorboard, the loud snores that Dean usually produces after he's drank too much. But it's soundless.

And that makes I so much worse when the whimper breaks from your busy mind, the silence is shattered by a heart wrenching cry for help.

Sam wakes with a start, gun in hand as the elder Winchester falls to the dusty grey carpet clutching his knife. His back cracks and his mouth curses as he rapidly rises from the floor. The boys both drop their guard when the threat of a monster is demolished. But panic quickly rises inside of them when they see your small weeping body. Sam immediately rushes to hold you close to him in comfort as Dean checks you quickly for any sign of injury.

"Y/N Sweetheart, talk to me please, what's wrong?" His voice cuts through your silent sobs and whimpers as he forces you to look at him. You realise you need to blink when you can't make out his features because of the ever-growing tears. When you look at him again, the overwhelming care, love and fear in his eyes confuses you. It always does every time this happens.

Sam sighs softly into your hair and he catches Deans eye. You can almost sense it when they do that weird non verbal commination now. You notice Deans expression change slowly, the panic shifts to a sad yet knowing smile as he leans forward to kiss your forehead.

"Why didn't you say it was getting bad again Y/N?" The younger Winchester says so softly you barely hear him.

You feel the guilt bubbling inside of you now. You make them squeeze into a tiny bed, then wake them up because you're ridiculously stupid. You look away and you feel your eyes start to well up with fresh tears but before they can fall your head is turned and again you're met with Deans' green eyes.

"No sweetheart none of that, we know it's hard to talk about," He smiles at you and you can't help but let you lips turn up at the corners when his eyes crinkle. "See! There's that smile we love, right Sammy? Come on, do it again." He pleads as he pouts his lips.

You feel the rumble of Sam's soft laughter next to you and your throat feels warm again but the noise you let out isn't one of pain, you laugh along with him and it's like sun has been let back into a boarded up house. You feel the warmth spread like electricity to every fibre of your being as they hug you close.

It's silent again, but this time you're content with the quiet as you focus on the yellow sunshine in your soul taking over the dark grey mass. You focus on the heat of not only your smile but the two Winchesters as they hold you tightly.

"You're gonna do it you know. You're going to make it out the other side of this because if anyone deserves to be happy it's you Y/N." Sam says, stroking your back as you lean on his shoulder.

Deans waits some time before speaking. He waits until Sam falls asleep next to you, squeezed into a much smaller space than before but yet he looks more comfortable.

"Princess, we know its been tough for a while, and I know you feel like giving up sometimes but we're here. Not everything will turn out great because it never does but you've got to take care of yourself. We've mad it this far, kid. You just got to always keep fighting."

#dean x reader #sam x reader #Sam Winchester #dean winchester #supernatural #spn #angst #fluff #depression #mental illness #dean x reader x sam

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louise-spn · 7 years

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12x14 Sneak Peak

Me: 👀👀🔥 DRAMA 🔥👀 🔥✔️✔️

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louise-spn · 7 years

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YES DEAN, CALL HER OUT, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!!

Dean Winchester | 12x14 The Raid

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louise-spn · 7 years

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why the hell

That’s my job, right? Watch out for my pain-in-the-ass little brother?

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louise-spn · 7 years

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Life itself is worth living for. If you’re not living the life that you want, you fight for that life.

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louise-spn · 7 years

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My Bloody Valentine (2009)

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louise-spn · 7 years

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In depth analysis on Destiel [S4-S5]

4x01: Sparks LITERALLY fly when Castiel is introduced

4x01: The eyfucking saga begins

4x03: Castiel’s facial expression + shoulder touch. Soft facial expression as if pondering to himself what these feelings for Dean mean.

4x07: Castiel tries multiple times throughout the episode to redeem himself in Dean’s eyes. There isn’t any *real* reason that he should care so much about what Dean thinks of him.

4x07: Dean admits to trusting Castiel even if he’s an angel (and he doesn’t trust other angels)

4x10: Uriel: “You see he has this weakness, he likes you” and Dean looks hopeful af.

4x10: Castiel dreamwalks in Dean’s dreams and he seems completely cool with him and not awkward or nervous. He even recognizes that Castiel is doing it.

4x10: Dean saves Castiel from Alistair

4x16: Castiel get’s reprimanded by the higher ups in heaven for starting to get too “feely” with Dean. Castiel: “ I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I’ve begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgment.”

4x16: Castiel investigates why Dean got hurt when it was none of his concern.

4x18: Castiel is starting to doubt heaven and listen to Dean’s side. The preparations for his fall from grace set into motion because of Dean.

4x18: Castiel watches Dean in his sleep,

4x20: More Destiel dreamwalking

4x20: Dean doesn’t question Castiel asking to meet him and goes without having to be told twice. This is behavior that is VERY unlike Dean.

4x20: When they arrive and Castiel is nowhere to be found, Dean sounds and looks audibly upset.

4x20: Lol Dean tries to eyefuck Jimmy but he realizes that Jimmy isn’t reciprocating. The mutual eyefucking is ONLY present when Castiel is around and Sam takes notice of the eyefucking (or lack thereof).

4x20: Dean kind of panics when Anna tells him that Castiel was dragged back home by the angels in a very painful way.

4x20: When Jimmy & Amelia kiss, the camera pans to Dean and he looks absolutely WRECKED with jealousy.

4x20: Jimmy gets shot and Dean flips the fuck out (when he honestly wouldn’t have given that much of a damn had it been anyone else or a winged-dick)

4x21: Dean asks Castiel angrily “what the hell happened in Illinois?” referring to themselves, not including Sam.

4x21: Castiel begins to stay far away from Dean - implying that he KNOWS when he’s too close in proximity to Dean.

4x21: Castiel walks away from Dean and we’ve never seen that happen before. Usually, Dean walks away from Castiel when he’s distressed over something going on between them.

4x21: The zoom out shot is a romantic trope in movies. They stare at each other for nearly 20 seconds.

4x22: Castiel bangs Dean up against a wall,covering his mouth and leaning so close that it looks like they’re going to kiss.

4x22: Castiel chooses Dean over heaven because he freaks out over Dean being disgusted by him and wanting to give himself over to Michael. (Note: He chooses DEAN, not the Winchesters at this point, just DEAN)

5x02: Castiel: “ I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I’m hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you.” case in point.

5x02: Dean gives Castiel the amulet without much fight. The amulet that Dean feels naked without. The amulet he’s been wearing since he was a kid and that is so attached to him that his soul wore it in hell.

5x03: Castiel appears less than a foot away from Dean’s face and they both stand there for a while without moving when they could easily turn away without making it too awkward

5x03: Dean refers to himself and Castiel as thelma and louise. Thelma & Louise kiss before going out together. Gay pairing reference. THIS is the look he gives Castiel while he says it. HE IS SMITTEN.

5x03: Dean straightens Castiel’s collar and tie like a proud husband.

5x03: Dean asks what Cass wants to do on his last night on earth. Castiel just looks at Dean for a while. (Which could be taken as “you. I want to do you dean”) before responding.

5x03: Dean is surprised Castiel is a virgin. Makes VERY random unnecessary comment about Bert & Ernie being gay and exclaims he will not let Cass die a virgin. Second gay pairing reference in this ep.

5x03: Castiel implies he’s never been with a woman because he didn’t have time for it. What DID he have time for though? Watching Dean sleep the past year. Lol.

5x03: Dean takes Castiel to a brothel and Castiel fumbles his chance to sleep with a girl. Him & Dean leave the brothel arm in arm happily laughing.

5x03: When Raphael shatters a window, Castiel automatically shields and protects Dean on instinct.

5x04: Even in the future as a strung out stoner with a sex addition, Castiel is at Dean’s side and ready to die for him at a moment’s notice.

5x04: Past dean is absolutely bewildered that future Dean would sacrifice his friends - and more importantly, that he would sacrifice Castiel, placing Castiel a step above the rest.

5x04: Future Castiel says this in a line they cut from the script: “But instead, we become this. The only thing I think we have left, Dean and me, is each other. If Dean says it’s time to go out in a blaze of glory, win or lose, so be it. I’m in. But, then… That’s just how I roll.”

5x04: There’s a 4 part argument that is prettyin depth and implies that future Castiel & Dean were in a relationship and all of camp chitaqua knew. pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4

5x08: The host calls Castiel Dean’s “pretty boy angel” and it cuts to a reaction shot from Dean like he agreed.

5x08: Castiel breaks into the tv land they’re in and the trickster sends him away. Dean flips out over if Castiel is hurt. It takes Castiel possibly getting hurt for Dean to LOSE HIS COOL.

5x10: Dean calls Castiel “Huggy Bear”

5x13: Dean is considering saying yes to Michael. Sam points out John had eventually said yes to save Mary - the love of his life.

5x13: A few episodes later, Dean tries to say yes too even though he & Sam are not currently in danger….the only one in danger at that point is Castiel….

5x13: Castiel nearly collapses and Sam & Dean both help him up but they help him up in very different ways. Sam is worried about pulling Castiel up, meanwhile Dean is just worried about sticking to Castiel’s side no matter what happens or if he collapses WITH castiel. ex 1, ex 2, ex 3, ex 4

5x13: Anna dies in this episode. She was originally the one meant to be dean’s love interest endgame. That clearly didn’t pan out. I wonder why…. *cough*CASTIEL*Cough*

5X14: Dean calls Castiel and Cass appears INCHES from his face and neither of them move away for a good amount of time.

5x14: Everyone is being affected by their desires and lusts. We see Dean, doing this, towards Castiel quite a bit throughout the episode.

5x14: Dean sends Castiel in to send with Famine and freaks out with worry within seconds on the basis that Castiel is taking too long.(We see this again during 12x10)

5x14: GEE I WONDER WHAT DEAN IS HUNGERING FOR???

5x16: Dean wears a shirt with a bear on it that says “I wuv hugs” - remember how Dean called Castiel “huggy bear?”

5x16: At the end of the episode, Castiel returns the amulet to Dean and it plays out like a sad girlfriend returning a ring to an ex lover. Dean then throws it in the trash. HMMMMM???

5x18: Dean says: “Cass, not for nothing but last person who looked at me like that, I got laid,” and then winks at Castiel.

5x18: Dean says: “Blow me, Cass”

5x18: Castiel & Dean fight because Castiel took it VERY personally that Dean was hellbent on giving up.

5x21: Castiel calls Dean and tells him he is now a mortal. Dean looks absolutely broken and bewildered. Castiel then proceeds to apologize to Dean,even through his current state. Cass values Dean more than his own immortality/mortality.

5x22: Castiel tries to shield Dean from the pain of seeing his brother get killed on the battlefield.

5x22: Michael snaps bobby’s neck and kills Castiel by disnitigration. Dean seems to give up after he sees Castiel explode.

5x22: Castiel reappears, healed and tells Dean that God helped and give Dean what he wanted. Hmmmm I wonder if that also was meant to include Castiel? *wink*

I got a lot of this from tvtropes but it was really clusterfucked so I tried to write it out better. I’ll put up the analysis for seasons 6-7 tomorrow.

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louise-spn · 7 years

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CAS IS BILLIONS OF YEARS OLD AND THE BEST PART OF HIS LIFE… WAS THE WINCHESTERS