maybe in another universe i can be 13 again

Cosmic mystery, fate even.

Weird i’d call it.

Weird that i love you more than i’ve ever loved to breathe.

Weird that you a total stranger, are the reason for my bane existence

Or weirder that i’d trust you with my life even though i’ve only known you less than half of it.

I love that i get to love you, let alone have a complete and utter stranger, someone who was once foreign to my body and soul choose to love me everyday on days i don’t deserve to be.

I kissed you, and you smiled in your sleep. I wonder if you dreamt of me.

i hope that when i die there will be an apartment with everyone i’ve ever loved in it and we are together always

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

Andrea Gibson

grief is so crazy like what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. does she know i loved her. i miss her so much. i catch myself doing things she used to do. i wish i could call her. i miss her so much. i do a crossword puzzle. i cry while washing the dishes. does she know i loved her? my heart feels like a hummingbird. i miss her so much. what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. what if i forget.

i think about you when i’m not even thinking

Sometimes a person searches with all their might to find a place to belong in..Not knowing that they were already at home to begin with. (This isn’t about houses).

Time is a thief I must let enter my home.

In order to move on, life must come and go.

And though i mourn for the past,

I’m grateful for the future.

I want someone who wants me as much as i want them. To fight for me when i want to leave, and hold me on days that are hard. I just want to finally be loved in the way that i so deeply love others.

i think i am so enamored with devotion as violence, because i want someone to love me even when i am covered in blood. most days, i am more teeth than lips. more claws than hands. more desperation than gentleness. if i am to love, i want it to consume me as surely as a forest fire. when the smoke has cleared, trees will grow stronger than before. i will only let my wounds be tended to by someone unafraid of gore, and i fear softness hurts more than any double edged sword. if i am to be loved, let it be in a slaughterhouse we might make into a home. then the heartache will be holy. and i will be whole.

I want to throw you against a wall, wrap your legs around my waist and kiss you. Kiss you until we have to stop to catch our breaths. I want you and only you. I want to take you on road trips that lead us to pulling over on the side of the road because we can’t keep our hands off each other. I want you and your flaws. I want your messy makeup from teary eyes as I hold you and talk to you about life. I want the 3am phone calls because you can’t sleep at night. I want to be yours and only yours. I want to taste all your cooking, even if it’s not good, even if it’s experimenting I’d have you cook every meal for the rest of my life. I want you. I want my trembling hands to grab your waist and dance with you in the middle of an empty room. I want to struggle on days when I can’t see you. I want to fight about meaningless stuff that will lead to meaningful sex. I want you. I want your hand to rest on my forearm as we enter a party, so I can reassure you that you are safe with me. I want to sing to you in the shower and have you shut me up with kisses because we both know I’m no singer. I want the ups and downs, the winter and summer days. I want you and only you

there is still sand in the hourglass by judas h.

first date idea:

In another life, money is not an issue and i am just a poet

Somedays i feel like the world is mine.

That i am made for everything that it offers.

But most times i feel that i am fit for nothing.

Where do i belong?